Mormonism Quotes

“Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God.”
― Joseph Smith

“Whatever God requires is right, no matter what it is, although we may not see the reason there of until all of the events transpire.”
― Joseph Smith

“Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Mormons invented themselves just as other religious and ethnic groups invented themselves. But Mormons did so in such a singularly impressive way that we will probably always remain baffled as to how exactly it happened.”
― Laurence Moore

“…such criticism and mockery are largely beside the point. All religious belief is a function of nonrational faith. And faith, by its very definition, tends to be impervious to to intellectual argument or academic criticism. Polls routinely indicate, moreover, that nine out of ten Americans believe in God—most of us subscribe to one brand of religion or another. Those who would assail The Book of Mormon should bear in mind that its veracity is no more dubious than the veracity of the Bible, say, or the Qur'an, or the sacred texts of most other religions. The latter texts simply enjoy the considerable advantage of having made their public debut in the shadowy recesses of the ancient past, and are thus much harder to refute.”
― Jon Krakauer, Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith

“No sex?" He looked at me in disbelief. "Well if you can't have ze sex, what can you do?"

For the sake of simplicity I took my left arm and lined it up just under my collarbones. "Nothing below here," I said. I took my right arm and lined it up to my knees. "Nothing above here."

"What about your armpit?" he asked. "Can your boyfriend do anything he wants to your armpit?"

I thought about it. Armpits seemed pretty harmless. "Yeah," I said optimistically. "My boyfriend can do anything he wants to my armpit."

"This is good," the Frenchman said. "He can stick his penis in and out of your armpit, and if you grow hair there it is almost like vagine."

Is it too late to change my answer? I wondered, pulling a cardigan over my bare shoulders and covering any hint of an invitation.”
― Elna Baker, The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance: A Memoir

“We should gather all the good and true principles in the world and treasure them up, or we shall not come out true Mormons.”
― Joseph Smith, Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith

“...they needed someone to explain, to spin, the parts of the tale that couldn't be suppressed. Someone reputable and educated. Someone brilliant yet absolutely committed to the faith. Someone like my father.”
― Martha Beck

“As long as people want the Mormon Church to be true,
more than they are willing to face the possibility that it is not,
they will not entertain evidence or reason.
Delusion becomes a choice.”
― Jim Whitefield

“Zoroastrianism? Oh, there’s never been but a few hundred thousand of them at any one time, mostly located in Iran and India, but that’s it. The one true faith. If you’re not a Zoroastrian, I’m afraid you are bound for Hell.”

The man looked stunned and shocked. "It's not fair."

The demon gave a mirthful laugh. “Well, it was fair when you were sending all the Chinese to Hell who had never heard of Jesus. Wasn’t it?”
― Steven L. Peck

“It took a couple of months before we were both convinced there were no rules about sexual activities in Hell and our spouses were not going to show up out of the blue. It was hard to start a sexual relationship in circumstances of such bizarre uncertainty, especially for an active Mormon and a good Christian, both lost in a Zoroastrian Hell. We were like virgin newlyweds. All my life I’d been raised to believe this kind of thing was wrong. All my life I had lived with a strong sense of morality. How do you give it up? How do you do things you thought you’d never do? Where do all the things you believed go, when all the supporting structure is found to be a myth? How do you know how or on what to take a moral stand, how do you behave when it turns out there are no cosmic rules, no categorical imperatives? It was difficult. So tricky to untangle.”
― Steven L. Peck, A Short Stay in Hell

“It is, after all, far too easy to pinch and kick the bizarre Mormon Church; to say it's ripe for satire and parody is to say a Catholic schoolgirl is ripe for debauchery. It's like shooting polygamist fish in a barrel of coffee.”
― Mark Morford

“If someone publicly charges that ‘Mormonism is a cult,’ it is impossible to say that the claim by itself is mistaken or untrue. However, if the speaker says that heaven is a real place but that you will not get there if you are Jewish, or that Mormonism is a cult and a false religion but that other churches and faiths are the genuine article, then you know that the bigot has spoken.”
― Christopher Hitchens

“... faith is believing and hoping when there is little evidence for or against
something. Delusion is believing when there is an abundance of evidence against
something.”
― Jeremy Runnells, Letter To A CES Director

“They [the Mormons] are a set of horse thieves, liars, and counterfeiters. They'll swear a false oath on any occasion to save another Mormon. They are thieves and knaves and dupes in the bargain, and no property is safe in Daviess County if they continue to pour into this area. If you suffer the Mormons to vote in this election, it will mean the end of your suffrage.”
― Fawn M. Brodie, No Man Knows My History: The Life of Joseph Smith

“Johnson evidently did not want it said that they had murdered the people for their property, but the leaders could not stand to let so much be destroyed. The wagons and their loads, even the bloody clothes, were taken to Cedar City, stored in the Tithing Office, and later sold at auction.”
― Juanita Brooks, The Mountain Meadows Massacre

“The Mormon teaching of unquestioning obedience to authority, added to the strict military law then in force in the Territory, would, in the eyes of their neighbors, relieve the men in the ranks of responsibility. For this reason, only a few went later into permanent hiding, and they were the men who had in positions of command.”
― Juanita Brooks, The Mountain Meadows Massacre

“George Powers of Little Rock, Arkansas, made a statement which was read at a public indignation meeting in Los Angeles on October 12, 1857, and which was widely reported in California newspapers. Describing conditions in Utah, he said: We found the Mormons making very determined preparations to fight the United States troops, whenever they may arrive. On our way in, we met three companies of 100 men each, armed and on the road toward the pass above Fort Bridger... We found companies drilling every evening in the city. The Mormons declared to us that no U.S. troops should ever cross the mountains; they talked and acted as though they were willing to take a brush with Uncle Sam... We came on to Buttermilk Fort, near the Lone Cedar 176 miles, and found the inhabitants greatly enraged at the train that had just passed... The people [the Mormons] had refused to sell the train any provisions, and told us they were sorry they had not killed them there; but they knew it would be done before they got in. They stated further that they were holding their Indians in check until the arrival of their chief, when he would follow the train and cut it to pieces.”
― Juanita Brooks, The Mountain Meadows Massacre

“Speaking in the tabernacle to a large assembly, he [John Taylor, Mormon] said: Who would not rather die than bow to the yoke of the enemy? It would sweeten death to a man to know that he should lay down his life in defence of freedom and the kingdom of God, rather than to longer bow to the cruelty of the mobs, even when the mob have the name of being legalized by the nation. I thank God, and I rejoice that this people... are determined to have peace, if they have to fight for it. To this stirring appeal, the whole congregation responded with a loud and hearty Amen! Since this sounds suspiciously like treason...”
― Juanita Brooks, The Mountain Meadows Massacre

“The feeling against the Mormons as expressed by the San Francisco Daily Evening Bulletin was: The blood of American citizens cries for vengeance from the barren sands of the Great Basin. The insulted dignity of the nation demands retribution from their infamous murderers. Virtue, Christianity and decency require that the vile brood of incestuous miscreants who have perpetrated this atrocity shall be broken up and dispersed. And the tide of popular opinion, now rolling up from every end of the land, calls loudly upon the Government to let no longer delay ensue before beginning the good work. And even should the news of the Mormon massacre upon the plains not suffice to incite to full activity the entire power of the Federal Officers, the position now taken by Brigham Young must do so. He has not waited to be attacked, but has commenced offensive warfare. The Independence of Utah Territory has been declared, and the determination announced of adhering to no laws except such as the Mormons make themselves.”
― Juanita Brooks, The Mountain Meadows Massacre

“The full and free pardon granted by President Buchanan was received resentfully by most of the Mormons, who still felt that the sending of the army had been a gross insult to them. It was they who should have pardoned the President, they thought. But it had worked out well for them, and Brigham Young had conducted affairs in a masterful manner; his word would be law to them, regardless of who the civil officers were.”
― Juanita Brooks, The Mountain Meadows Massacre

“In the meantime, before the civil authorities had been able to start an investigation [into the Mountain Meadows Massacre], the church conducted a private one, if we are to trust their own records. The leaders had to know the truth of this affair, even though the group loyalty which they had always encouraged would not permit them to make public their findings. Through long years they had developed the attitude that, right or wrong, they must stand together.”
― Juanita Brooks, The Mountain Meadows Massacre

“So the official story of the massacre was written. While the visiting [Mormon] authorities might reprove the leaders, while they might administer severe chastisement in private, they would not turn the offenders over to the enemies of the church for judgment. Neither would they disgrace the local authorities before their followers. The group loyalty... demand[ed] that, while they might make a report of the massacre for the church... they should not bring into the public eye any of the participants if it could be avoided.”
― Juanita Brooks, The Mountain Meadows Massacre

“As to the distribution of the booty, it would seem from Lee's report and expense account that they were all involved. Lee named Dame as receiving $415; Klingonsmith, $315; Hamblin $370; and Henry Barney, $520; each for teams, wagons, and cows given to the Indians of his district, evidently the loot of the murdered emigrants.”
― Juanita Brooks, The Mountain Meadows Massacre

“[Jacob] Hamblin arranged to make a trip across the Colorado River in search of a child who might be missing. The motive behind this is clear… [I]n letters and in recorded speeches he had expressed an eagerness to labor among “the nobler branches of the race.” He had heard that the Hopis across the Colorado were a peaceful, agricultural people who had many skills… Thus, while his letters to Brigham Young and George A. Smith speak of this as a bona fide “mission” for the church, the records in the General Accounting Office in Washington D.C., show that he was paid $318 for expenses incurred while conducting a search for the purpose of finding a child, [al]though Jacob Hamblin knew well that no child had ever been in the hands of the Indians…”
― Juanita Brooks, The Mountain Meadows Massacre

“It was not until the spring of 1859 [two years later] that the children [the survivors of the murdered emigrant train] were officially turned over to the government officials, and bills for their care were made… The policy of letting the government pay seems to have been general…”
― Juanita Brooks, The Mountain Meadows Massacre

“So many legends have grown up around the fate of the surviving children that it is almost impossible to determine where the truth lies. The Parowan Ward record, already quoted, was definite in its statement that “the entire Company was destroyed, except 18 small children…”
― Juanita Brooks, The Mountain Meadows Massacre

“Trial began on Friday, July 23, 1875... the jury which was finally selected consisted of eight Mormons, three Gentiles, and one Jack Mormon... When finally the case was closed and the case given to the jury, they could not agree upon a verdict, the eight Mormons all being for acquittal and the other four, all for conviction. The court was obliged to begin all over again and try the case before another jury. Even the most cursory examinations of the court records will show that between the first and second trials of Lee, something happened. When court opened again on September 14, 1876, the whole tone was changed... R.N. Baskin and other non-Mormons insisted that the leaders of the Mormon church had entered into an agreement with District Attorney Howard that Lee might be convicted and pay the death penalty, if the charges against all other suspected persons would be withdrawn. This was to be done by a jury composed only of Mormons, who would bring a verdict of "guilty", if names of other participants were left out of the discussion... This time the trial proceeded with dispatch. Men who had participated, and for almost twenty years had sealed their lips, now came forward to testify... On September 20, the case was given to the all-Mormon jury, who deliberated three and one-half hours and brought in a verdict of "guilty." [Lee was] convicted of murder in the first degree...”
― Juanita Brooks, The Mountain Meadows Massacre

“In Pioche, Nevade [while in hiding], in April 1871, he [Philip Klingonsmith] made his affidavit regarding the massacre, the first of all who had participated to break openly the pact of silence. After acting as a witness in the first trial of Lee, he returned to Nevada... he was found dead in a prospector's hole in the state of Sonora, Mexico, apparently murdered, the inference being that he had been pursued by avenging members of the Mormons and had been killed for being a traitor...”
― Juanita Brooks, The Mountain Meadows Massacre

“One of the grand fundamental principles of Mormonism is to receive truth, let it come from whence it may.”
― Joseph Smith Jr.