Red Flags Quotes

“It may be expedient to take stock of all the affecting pieces that might shatter in the wake of an emotional earthquake, once red flags come up in a committed relationship and an overarching scene has to be fashioned for a recast life experience. ("Waiting for the pieces to fall into place")”
― Erik Pevernagie

“It's rare for a toxic person to change their behavior. More often, the only thing that varies is their target and the blame they place. Because some toxic people are difficult to identify, keep in mind that a victim mindset is sometimes a red flag. So, listen when someone talks about their life and circumstances. If the list of people they blame is long... it's probably only a matter of time before you're on that list.”
― Steve Maraboli

“Did his behaviour indicate a red flag?
Massively.
Did I notice it?
Probably.
Did I deliberately choose to ignore it because he was just.so.different?
Absolutely.
Did I feel ashamed for not knowing better, despite knowing better?
Constantly.”
― Aura Biru, We Are Everyone

“I wish the pain of betrayal was as easy to ignore as the red flags that forewarned of it.”
― Steve Maraboli

“No, Novikovs time traveler is the tragic dupe who realizes too late her |trip to the past is what sealed the very fate she’d meant to prevent. Maybe you mistook your future voice shouting through the walls for something else: a heartbeat pacing and then rapid with want, a purr.”
― Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

“True and real friends don’t feel the need to be praised and worshipped.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson

“Healthy people don’t stay in unhealthy romantic relationships. Healthy people don’t ignore red flags when they’re falling for someone, they acknowledge the flags like there’s no tomorrow. Healthy people don’t let go of their boundaries because they make the person they are interested in uncomfortable, they stick to them. Healthy people aren’t passive-aggressive with their partners, they communicate effectively and affectionately. Healthy people don’t change their identity because their partner doesn’t like it, they stay true to who they are. Healthy people don’t tolerate abuse from their partner because they love them, they leave them instead”
― Farah Ayaad

“This home had more red flags than a Chinese military parade.”
― Ryan J. Gutierrez, Scars in Time: A Novel

“They ignored all of the signs… Pretended not to see the flags… You can break your own heart loving some people.”
― Steve Maraboli

“The point is: if an activity or a show or a thing is only (or mostly) adored by men, that's a red flag.”
― Jill Gutowitz, Girls Can Kiss Now: Essays

“To show you what you would not otherwise believe,' Locke said. 'Envy. Fear. Anger. Jealousy. They're all spices.' He laughed at my expression. 'What is bread without salt? Desire can grow just as plain.'

'I don't understan-'

He put a finger against my mouth. 'Not every lover can appreciate such spices. But I think you can.”
― Holly Black, The Lost Sisters

“I think I understand now what you meant when you said I have to give up my mortal qualms. And I am willing to do that. But I want you to marry me.'

'Ah.' He sat down on the couch, looking stunned with lack of sleep. 'And so you came here in the middle of the night?'

'I hope that you love me,' I tried to sound the way Oriana did when she forbade us to do things- stern, but not unkind. 'And I will try to live as the Folk do. But you ought to marry me even if neither of those things were true, because otherwise I might ruin your fun.'

'My fun?' he echoed. Then he sounded worried. Then he sounded awake.

'Whatever game you are playing with Nicasia and Cardan,' I said. 'And with me. Tell Madoc we're to be wed and tell Jude about your real intentions or I will start shaping stories of my own.'
...
I realised that Locke might teach me lessons, but he wasn't going to like what I did once I learned them.

'You promised-' he began, but I cut him off.

'Not a marriage of a year and a day, either,' I said. 'I want you to love me until you die.'

He blinked. 'Don't you mean until you did? Because you're sure to.'

I shook my head. 'You're going to live forever. If you love me, I will become a part of your story. I will live on in that.'

He looked at me in a way he'd never done before, as though evaluating me all over again. Then he nodded. 'We will marry,' he said, holding up his hand. 'On three conditions. The first is that you will tell no one about us until the coronation of Prince Dain.'

That seemed like a small thing, the waiting.

'And during that time, you must not renounce me, no matter what I say or do.'

I know the nature of faerie bargains. I should have heard this as the warning that it was. Instead, I was only glad that two of his conditions seemed simple enough to fulfill.

'What else?'

Be bold, be bold, but not too bold, lest that your heart's blood should run cold.

'Only this,' Locke said. 'Remember we don't love the way that you do.”
― Holly Black, The Lost Sisters

“Your instincts will help you recognise any red flags. Don't let your logic win in such situations.”
― Mitta Xinindlu

“You do not need an unkind man in your life right now. Or ever.”
― Sophie Kinsella, The Burnout

“Avoid confusing compromise with negating yourself. The surrender that often has to occur in a relationship with a narcissist as “compromise” it can keep your submissive and fruitless behaviors and expectations alive. The red flags were made apparent within the first three months of the relationship. Everyone told me not to marry her or at least to wait a little longer. She was doing everything he had accused me of. Whenever she did not like how things were going, she would break up with me, and then take me back quickly.”
― Ramani Durvasula, Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist

“I don't need you making me feel like an evil person every time I do something. I gave up smoking weed for you and that's a pretty big thing. I can't hold your hand 24 hours a day. Can't hold you 24 hours a day. Can't kiss you 24 hours a day. Can't have sex 24 hours a day.”
― Jeffrey Brown, Clumsy

“Healthy people don’t stay in unhealthy family dynamics. Healthy people don’t allow their parents to control their life, they live for themselves. Healthy people don’t follow the career path their parents want them to take, they choose the right path for themselves. Healthy people don’t marry someone to meet the expectations of their family, they commit to someone who they love and makes them happy. Healthy people don’t let their abusive family members define them, they seek help and build a better future for themselves”
― Farah Ayaad

“Once upon a time, there was a girl named Taryn and she had a faerie lover who came to her at night. He was generous and adoring, but visited only in the dark. He asked for two things: one, for her to keep their meetings secret, and two, never to look upon his face fully. And so, night after night she took delight in him but, after some time had passed, wondered what his secret could be.”
― Holly Black, The Lost Sisters

“I sometimes think maybe all the tears we cry are due to this huge gap between the how-we-think-things-should-go and what-life-actually-gives-you." - Amelie”
― Holly Bourne, The Places I've Cried in Public

“Not everyone who offers you some comfort is to be trusted.”
― Mitta Xinindlu

“When exploring, read the warning signs: figuratively and literally.”
― Mitta Xinindlu

“Remain in your lane. But only in times of danger.”
― Mitta Xinindlu

“Is that your panty drawer?" He reaches around and grabs a pair. I pull them out of his hand and toss them toward my suitcase.
"Hands off," I tell him.
He walks around me and leans his elbow against the dresser. "If you're packing underwear, that means you don't go commando. So by process of elimination, Ive figured out that you're currently wearing a thong. Now I just have to find out what color it is.”
― Colleen Hoover, November 9

“A man who maybe good-looking, have money and style-but is disrespectful towards women, lacks etiquette and good manners-is a BIG turn-off.”
― Preity Zinta

“The day you allow him hit you , he begins taking you for granted.”
― gugu innocentia mofokeng

“…the culture [had]…a manipulative but disingenuous 'we're not coworkers, we're family' mind-set. (Always be wary of a company that says seemingly well-meaning shit as this. We share a cubicle, not a fucking bloodline.)”
― Tori Dunlap, Financial Feminist: Overcome the Patriarchy's Bullsh*t to Master Your Money and Build a Life You Love

“Friends don't want to see you mess up a good thing. That's a real friend, not a red flag. Read that again. Heavy on the subliminal.”
― Niedria Dionne Kenny

“... the reality is that most people don’t live in reality; they live in a heavily-rationalized reality, based on either what they think is reasonable (even if reality doesn’t match up and their being reasonable puts them in harm’s way) or what they want reality to be.”
― Dana Morningstar, Out of the Fog: Moving From Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse

“The covert warnings signs were omnipresent, like tiny flashing needles, slowly weaving disturbing patterns into an unhealthy codependent relationship tapestry - from the first day I met her until literally the cathartic final week. I still wonder many times why I did not leave earlier. There were many days when I knew I had enough, but still decided to stay. I really believed, against my own better judgement, that we could have worked things out.”
― Vernon Chalmers

“Never trust a man who always knows exactly what to say.”
― Nicole Fox, Shattered Altar