There are so many things wrong with this novella that I don't even know where to begin. I'm speechless with the depth of the problems in this story. FThere are so many things wrong with this novella that I don't even know where to begin. I'm speechless with the depth of the problems in this story. First, if you're going to write an enemies-to-lovers story based on the fact that Character A bullied Character B in high school, you probably shouldn't have them fucking within 15 minutes of the story's start. Second, if they are going to screw that fast, that first scene should be hate sex, not a Hallmark-lite (isn't that a wonder?) scene of tenderness. Third, don't try to redeem the bully by recalling all of the sweet things he also did in high school. Make the bully confront his viciousness honestly and directly; make him apologize sincerely; if possible, make him atone; and for goodness sake, don't forgive him at the speed of light!
Fourth, if the bully was always gay (as we are told he was), it might be nice if his behavior made it clear that he was always gay; instead, we get treated to something that feels almost like he was simply gay for the other character. Perhaps that wasn't the author's intention, but it would have been nice to know whether or not he had been with other men in the intervening years so that we could know that yes, in fact, the idiot was gay, and not just creepily obsessed with the other MC. Fifth, if you're going to write a black character, please refrain from stereotypical verbal tics like having him call his love interest, "Boo." A.) It's dumb. B.) That endearment has gone the way of the dodo bird. C.) It sounds like the writer saw one black movie in the '90s, heard the term and thought it was cute, and couldn't let it go (just like the character!). Sixth, the former bully should actually be a former bully, and shouldn't get away with stalker behavior like memorizing the apartment door's entry code and using it to enter at will so that he can have dinner waiting (isn't that sweet? No!). Moreover, he shouldn't be allowed to just take over the other MC's life with pronouncements like, "You're going to attend this work dinner with me because that's what the wives do," and "We're going to move in together," etc., without discussing those kinds of things first. (Don't get me started on the initial comparison to "the wives.") Otherwise, he's not just a stalker; he's also an openly gay adult bully who happens to be screwing the person who was always the object of his obsession. Seventh, if you're going to tackle an NBA star -- the MVP, no less -- coming out, you might want to be something more than brush-off casual about it. Does one honestly think, "Eh, in the post-Jason Collins world, it's no big deal?" Um, yeah. It actually kind of is. If LeBron James came out as gay, it would rock the game. People would learn to deal, but it would be enormous.
I'm often intrigued by the bully-turned-lover plot. Call me a sucker. I'll admit it. The plot can work, though, if done right. Check out Falling Off the Face of the Earth -- though it was too light on romance, as a story, it was great. This one, though, was a hot mess.
Merged review:
There are so many things wrong with this novella that I don't even know where to begin. I'm speechless with the depth of the problems in this story. First, if you're going to write an enemies-to-lovers story based on the fact that Character A bullied Character B in high school, you probably shouldn't have them fucking within 15 minutes of the story's start. Second, if they are going to screw that fast, that first scene should be hate sex, not a Hallmark-lite (isn't that a wonder?) scene of tenderness. Third, don't try to redeem the bully by recalling all of the sweet things he also did in high school. Make the bully confront his viciousness honestly and directly; make him apologize sincerely; if possible, make him atone; and for goodness sake, don't forgive him at the speed of light!
Fourth, if the bully was always gay (as we are told he was), it might be nice if his behavior made it clear that he was always gay; instead, we get treated to something that feels almost like he was simply gay for the other character. Perhaps that wasn't the author's intention, but it would have been nice to know whether or not he had been with other men in the intervening years so that we could know that yes, in fact, the idiot was gay, and not just creepily obsessed with the other MC. Fifth, if you're going to write a black character, please refrain from stereotypical verbal tics like having him call his love interest, "Boo." A.) It's dumb. B.) That endearment has gone the way of the dodo bird. C.) It sounds like the writer saw one black movie in the '90s, heard the term and thought it was cute, and couldn't let it go (just like the character!). Sixth, the former bully should actually be a former bully, and shouldn't get away with stalker behavior like memorizing the apartment door's entry code and using it to enter at will so that he can have dinner waiting (isn't that sweet? No!). Moreover, he shouldn't be allowed to just take over the other MC's life with pronouncements like, "You're going to attend this work dinner with me because that's what the wives do," and "We're going to move in together," etc., without discussing those kinds of things first. (Don't get me started on the initial comparison to "the wives.") Otherwise, he's not just a stalker; he's also an openly gay adult bully who happens to be screwing the person who was always the object of his obsession. Seventh, if you're going to tackle an NBA star -- the MVP, no less -- coming out, you might want to be something more than brush-off casual about it. Does one honestly think, "Eh, in the post-Jason Collins world, it's no big deal?" Um, yeah. It actually kind of is. If LeBron James came out as gay, it would rock the game. People would learn to deal, but it would be enormous.
I'm often intrigued by the bully-turned-lover plot. Call me a sucker. I'll admit it. The plot can work, though, if done right. Check out Falling Off the Face of the Earth -- though it was too light on romance, as a story, it was great. This one, though, was a hot mess....more
It was . . . very unique. Well-written and engaging, but rather disconcerting. Draco is the protagonist and that’s fine, but I didn’t love the rewriteIt was . . . very unique. Well-written and engaging, but rather disconcerting. Draco is the protagonist and that’s fine, but I didn’t love the rewrite that takes away Harry’s hero’s journey and makes Draco the core of the Potterverse. This story basically turns it into a Dracoverse. Sure, there are no real rules in fanfiction - the sky is the limit - but giving Harry’s feats to Draco kind of defeats the point of the entire universe (canon and non-canon). It was an interesting experiment, but I want Harry to still be the hero.
Merged review:
It was . . . very unique. Well-written and engaging, but rather disconcerting. Draco is the protagonist and that’s fine, but I didn’t love the rewrite that takes away Harry’s hero’s journey and makes Draco the core of the Potterverse. This story basically turns it into a Dracoverse. Sure, there are no real rules in fanfiction - the sky is the limit - but giving Harry’s feats to Draco kind of defeats the point of the entire universe (canon and non-canon). It was an interesting experiment, but I want Harry to still be the hero....more
I have spent the past three months reading nothing but Drarry fic and this is honestly among the best I’ve read. Easily top 5 and maybe top 3. It’s hiI have spent the past three months reading nothing but Drarry fic and this is honestly among the best I’ve read. Easily top 5 and maybe top 3. It’s hilarious, it’s honest, it’s really rather sweet, the characters feel like the teenagers they still are and the war veterans that they happen to be, too. The romance is believable, the insecurities are real, and the happy ending feels earned. I loved every single piece of this. If Drarry fic is your thing, don’t skip this one....more
3.5 stars. Wonderfully clever take on Harry and Draco, and the author gets their characters right, unlike a lot of fanfiction authors. The middle sags3.5 stars. Wonderfully clever take on Harry and Draco, and the author gets their characters right, unlike a lot of fanfiction authors. The middle sags, though, hence the loss of half a star. I also would have appreciated more time with them being explicitly in love. Still, this was extremely well done - one of the better Drarry fics I’ve read. Definitely recommended....more
A solid 3.75. I wish it had been a bit more clear how they fell in love in the first place and why they broke up, but as reunion stories go, this was A solid 3.75. I wish it had been a bit more clear how they fell in love in the first place and why they broke up, but as reunion stories go, this was rather nicely done....more
Solid writing, strong characterizations, but the narration needed to be cut in half. It was mostly curtain fic (which was okay, in principle), but WAYSolid writing, strong characterizations, but the narration needed to be cut in half. It was mostly curtain fic (which was okay, in principle), but WAY too slow and FAR too long....more
Salsera1974
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