Optimism is a strong foundation. For some people, it takes more of a conscious effort to build it. I am naturally more optimistic than pessimistic andOptimism is a strong foundation. For some people, it takes more of a conscious effort to build it. I am naturally more optimistic than pessimistic and it has made a big difference in my life. I prefer to look at the bright side than wallow in the pit of despair. I like to surround myself with positive people and we lift each other up. When we envision something for ourselves we have to be our biggest believer. It’s easier to give up than to keep picking yourself up and moving forward to a better life…the life you want. You have to ask yourself what is worth the effort? This book demonstrates some ups-and-downs that come from searching and activating your purpose every single day. No one is going to work for your dreams harder than you will. Dreams without action are only a wish. It’s about how realistic optimism, relentless individuality, and dreams can create a new path where there wasn’t one before.
I liked that the author encouraged giving back, in creative ways, to others through our successes. She mentioned a “Give Gala” that focused on acts of service instead of monetary gifts: hand-lettering lessons, cooking meals for a family, babysitting so the parents can have a night out, a princess unicorn birthday party on their farm, family photos…and on and on.
The author’s family scandal would be a shock and it could easily destroy someone’s spirit. They chose to forget themselves and go to work. They didn’t lose heart or sit around feeling sorry for themselves. They acknowledged the things they still had in life–things that were more important than what was taken from them–their family. “When you experience something you can’t control, you will amaze yourself with what you can achieve when you have to.” “You can make an active decision to write your own story. We are not what has happened to us. We are the story we write from it. We can write stories of fear, or we can write stories of possibility.”
We can make plans but until we start to execute them, we will not achieve the success we envision. We “develop in the process, not the planning.” Our failures help us to improve upon our plans, sometimes making it better than we could have imagined. “Failures are not indications of self-worth or your experience level.” “Instead of being paralyzed by uncertainty, you’re energized by possibility.”
“Most times when I see businesses fail, it’s not because of a lack of resources; it’s because of a lack of being resourceful.”
“Don’t put perception over purpose.”
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” ...more
This was very basic so only slightly inspiring. It was a format like reading bullet points. The chapters focused on: dreaming big, exploring, learningThis was very basic so only slightly inspiring. It was a format like reading bullet points. The chapters focused on: dreaming big, exploring, learning, career, relationships and so on.
“Keeping an open mind, trusting in yourself, making small steps forward and never punishing yourself when you slip back, you’ll always have the best chance of making your dreams become real.”
“The mutual desire to see each other succeed is an important foundation of a good friendship.”
“Seeing an endless stream of our friends’ carefully curated and photo filtered ‘best bits’ can make us feel like we’re not matching up, so stepping back from social media is a great way to restore our sense of self-worth.”
“What’s important is to have a vision of hope for how you want things to change, and to follow that vision with patience and determination until you are able to make progress.”
This was a good reminder to live intentionally. It’s about what it means to be alive and present in one’s life. To love and enjoy in the present for hThis was a good reminder to live intentionally. It’s about what it means to be alive and present in one’s life. To love and enjoy in the present for happiness to thrive. Our health and relationships are what matter most in the end. I think most people want happiness to play a major role in their lives and sometimes it is a struggle to find it or maintain it. The author engaged with six elders 87 and older to learn from them and their experiences. He expected some depression and misery. It was evident at times but for the most part they had upbeat messages. “With them, I had to give up the idea that I knew about life. It was a humbling experience, but also an energizing one. Being a student—letting go of your ego—is like sitting for a banquet at the best restaurant you’ll ever visit.” “Each of the six elders practiced happiness differently, some more habitually than others.” I thought this phrase was interesting–“practice happiness.”
When we are young, the future is so far away, and you don’t know what will happen to you and the world. You have more responsibilities working and raising kids, anxieties about work, marital strains, money worries, time conflicts, day-to-day stress. The older you get the less worry you have about certain things in life. For instance, if you have grown children you no longer have to support them financially. You retire from work and take up hobbies or choose work you enjoy. Youth might draw back in horror at the short time horizon elders know they have, but for elders, this shortened horizon enriches the enjoyment of the now. As we age we may start to realize we have false needs that are more like wants.
The most successful among the elders engage in pleasurable activities, maintain a certain amount of optimism, and stick with those relationships that are emotionally nurturing. An expert on aging warns that "social isolation kills," so staying involved with friends and loved ones is a key to boosting one's morale and remaining invested in the future. It’s “…possible people simply lose interest in certain kinds of social contact as they get older, instead applying their energies to people and relationships they find more meaningful.” I count myself fortunate that I was raised to be confident in myself and to choose genuine friends.
Obviously, they all had hardships in life yet as they aged they remembered more of the good times. They had suffered loss, whether it was use of their body or loss of loved ones. “Severe memory loss is a horrible thing, and we rightly fear it, but selective forgetting can be the better part of wisdom.” They learned to wipe away petty distractions and had a deliberate reduction of ego centeredness. “Wisdom leads to better decision-making and more realistic expectations, less disappointment when things don’t work out.” Their values changed as they got older. One was that they became more selective about how they spent their time, and whom they spent it with. Another was that they became less self concerned, and more aware of being part of a larger whole. Instead of being lonely, they valued having time alone for contemplation. “A different way to think about old age: not as a period of decline but as a High point, when people transcend material concerns and focus instead on what’s really valuable.”
Fred: “Here was a lesson in giving up the myth of control. If you believe you are in control of your life, steering it in a course of your choosing, then old age is an affront, because it is a destination you didn’t choose. But if you think of life instead as an improvisation in response to the stream of events coming at you—that is, a response to the world as it is—then old age is more another chapter in a long-running story.”
I had a hard time respecting Fred because he has six children with different women and doesn’t care for them, didn’t even raise them. Considering his grateful attitude, I would have thought he would have treated them better.
“Age had a way of turning disappointment into new discovery.” They did not fear death, they accepted it as part of life’s journey. Death gives everything its value–limited time makes moments in life more precious.
“… we can choose to live in the things that warm us—in love, humor, passion, empathy, a supportive arm—not because they make life easy, but because they do the most for us when life is hard.” ...more
This book “PUMPED” me up. I know, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I grew up watching Arnold Schwarzenegger movies and still today I am entertained This book “PUMPED” me up. I know, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I grew up watching Arnold Schwarzenegger movies and still today I am entertained by this towering Austrian man. He has a big personality and he has led an interesting life. Obviously he has made some glaring mistakes over the years, unfortunately made public in the spotlight, but he has owned it. He openly accepts responsibility for it and has learned from his mistakes. He comes across as genuine. I admire so many things about him.
He is incredibly motivating. It seems like he is personally speaking to you. I listened to some of the audiobook as well which is fun because he narrates it in his very distinct accent. You feel like you are there sitting with him. “I’m recording in my little home studio. If you hear my little pig, Schnelly, going oink oink oink, just bare with me.” Anytime he writes “That’s fantastic” I hear his accent. I love it. I recently watched his “Arnold” documentary on Netflix and was captivated by it. He has been underestimated so many times and it became his advantage. People assumed he was all brawn and no brains. Wrong. I am impressed by his intelligence. He researched to gain the knowledge he needed to be successful. He was smart with his money at a young age and it’s surprising because a LOT of celebrities live a life of consumption and go broke and you wonder how when they’ve made millions of dollars. He is relatable as he started out with barely anything and yet he knew he wanted to be. Every time he had a dream in life he went after it…with HARD work. The man seems to have boundless energy. “Too many of us struggle to disconnect from our self-pity and connect to our purpose.”
I appreciate that he acknowledges all of the people that helped him achieve his dreams along the way and he is a big advocate of giving back. Lift others up along the way. A little humility goes a long way. He has a lot of goodwill he is spreading about.
There is so much negativity and pessimism out in the world, including people doubting you, so this was refreshing. It is tragic to accept where you are in life when you are unhappy about it. Don’t play the victim. “Only you can create the life you want for yourself—no one is going to do it for you.” Believe in yourself. He is so optimistic. If you are in need of a little bit of encouragement and wanting to light a fire underneath you, this will do the trick. So inspiring–it’s fantastic.
Excerpts:
Tools: “They involve knowing where you want to go and how you’re going to get there, as well as having the willingness to do the work and the ability to communicate to the people you care about that the journey you want to bring them on is worth the effort. They include the capacity to shift gears when the journey hits a roadblock, and the ability to keep an open mind and learn from your surroundings to find new ways through.”
Random: I got stuck on reading about his workout for his calves “A thousand pounds on the calf raise machine for dozens of reps.” Did he seriously just say 1000 pounds?!
“When you stick to your guns. Good things can happen for you and all the people you care about at a level that others never thought possible.”
He is a self proclaimed lunatic. “My risk tolerance for big goals and new challenges is sky high. Everything I do, I do big.
I slightly disagree when he said working your [butt] off is the only thing that works 100 percent of the time for 100 percent of the things worth achieving.” Maybe eventually it is true. The only reason it doesn’t work 100 percent of the time is because other people make choices that affect you and disrupt your dream. What matters is you pick yourself back up and start building your dream up again. “When it comes to achieving your vision, it isn’t failure you have to worry about, it’s giving up.”
“Curiosity is the first thing that dies within someone who is raised to think the world is what it is and there’s nothing they can do about it.” “…curiosity has been a superpower for me. It’s magnetic.” ...more
Ever since I was a teenager, I have had an interest in dream interpretation. I feel that my dreams have reflected what has been happening in my life aEver since I was a teenager, I have had an interest in dream interpretation. I feel that my dreams have reflected what has been happening in my life at any given moment. Sometimes, my dreams have even answered life questions for me. Dreams have helped guide me to make good choices. They have also made me realize possibilities I hadn’t thought of or persuaded me to slow down and appreciate all that I have in my life…my family. They can be inspirational.
There are many symbols in this book to discover: babies, bridges, death, fire, flying, mirrors, secret rooms, water... I think the interpretations are relatable, it has great watercolor illustrations and many common themes and symbols were explored. There are prompts so you can ask yourself more about the deeper meaning of the symbolism depending on what is going in in your life now or experiences from your past.
On the night that I checked this book out, my three teenagers were in a car accident only three minutes away from our house. I was relieved to find out that they were all safe. During the night I had a dream involving my oldest son (the driver). Joran and I were in the bathroom looking into the mirror at each other. We had soap suds on our faces like beards and made funny faces at each other. I felt loving towards him.
In the morning I looked up some of the symbols from my dream. Bubbles: They can evoke playfulness and fun. I have enjoyed my son in my life and have had countless good times with him. Bubbles can also be fragile and fleeting and represent a form of protection. Our son is growing up and will move out soon and we have protected him the best way we know how…and we will continue to do so.
A dream I remember: I was in an elevator with all 5 of my children, alone without my husband, and as it was moving upward suddenly the floor dropped out from underneath us. We were falling and falling into darkness with no end in sight. I was desperately trying to reach my kids stretching my hands out to them. My panic reached outside of my dream and I took control and woke myself up thinking “No, this is not happening.” It was horrifying. This dream was during a time in our lives when our finances were destitute and employment was uncertain. I was a stay-at-home mom so we had a single average income. Our future looked bleak and life felt out of our control—just like falling in the elevator.
Recently we have gained more control over our finances. Consequently, I have had more dreams of flying…reaching for success and feeling free. We feel more hopeful than we have in a long time. With our work now, it is challenging and we have a creative outlet together. It is something we are passionate about.
I had a dream where I was promoting “Hamilton” to the people around me. Maybe it is a message to have more music in my life, new costumes, modernizing my life which has been in the works.
“Think about your own personal connection to dreams and how they shape your emotional, physical, and spiritual life. With dreams, there is no wrong answer or belief system. They are your experiences to understand and your stories to tell.”...more
This book mostly makes men out to be chauvinistic, selfish, insensitive, and shallow. It makes the women seem weak, submissive—giving everything away This book mostly makes men out to be chauvinistic, selfish, insensitive, and shallow. It makes the women seem weak, submissive—giving everything away for free and they have no self-worth. If a man says he doesn’t want to commit or marry because he doesn’t want to “answer to anyone” then move on. Don’t waste your time. Women need to set standards and they will find a decent man worth waiting for.
What drives men: “If men aren’t pursuing their dreams – if we’re not chasing the who we are, the what we do, and how much we make, we are doomed. Dead. At the moment that we figure out the puzzle and feel like our dreams are taking shape, new life streams into us – it makes us vibrant, induces, and animates us.”
When I went back to work, it was a very difficult adjustment as my husband switched roles with me and was the stay-at-home dad. “... In his world, he’s being judged by other men, based on who he is, what he does, and how much he makes. That affects his mood. If you know he’s not where he wants to be or not on track for being where he wants to be, then his mood swings at the house make more sense to you.”
One of the differences I’ve noticed between men and women, at least in the relationships I’ve had, is that when men do things they want a reward. Most women I know, will do something because it needs to be done, like the laundry. I don’t expect a reward. Seems a bit unbalanced. It sounded so selfish when he talked about how he doesn’t usually “chase behind children” and has to be thanked and complimented on watching HIS OWN CHILDREN when his wife gets back from running errands. I think that’s lame. It’s called being a dad.
“The emotional stuff—the talking, the cuddling, the holding hands, and bonding, that’s y’all’s thing. We’ll do those things because we know it’s important to you. But please understand: the way we men connect is by having sex. Period.” I find this to be untrue in my marriage. My husband does all of these things more than I do. I am lucky he wants to be more connected with more meaning.
Acknowledge the ones you love—if a “man sees his woman had a hard day he can help out more around the house, if she cooks he can do the dishes, if she gets the kids ready for bed he can help straighten up the house so that she can relax and not feel like having sex is another chore on her list to do.” I TOTALLY agree with this. That’s exactly how I feel.
“When men are talking, and especially when they’re listening, it’s with purpose. We don’t vent. We just want to fix whatever situation is upsetting the balance.“ My husband and I are opposite as I usually want to find a solution and he wants me to just listen.
“We appreciate it when women treat us like men, when you let us know that you need us. The need to feel needed is way bigger to us that we’ve let on; we have to feel needed by you in order to fulfill our destiny as a man.” I have definitely felt this in my home, especially now that I am working again. ...more
I crack up every time I watch Terry Crews on Brooklyn Nine-Nine so I was interested in reading his book. I was hoping for a more humorous read and lesI crack up every time I watch Terry Crews on Brooklyn Nine-Nine so I was interested in reading his book. I was hoping for a more humorous read and less about pornography and airing his dirty laundry in front of millions of people. It seems very personal and maybe that was his point was to help others, I don’t know. In my opinion it kept referring back to it and had details I did not want to know, a bit on the distasteful side. I admire him for admitting the physical trauma he had suffered from the unsafe environment growing up with an abusive father. His mother was manipulative too. His parents have such a toxic relationship. One unexpected thing was his nickname of “Little Terry” considering his large stature now.
Love that he listens to audiobooks for self-education. Too bad he didn’t listen to financial books. He made poor selfish financial decisions, which he admits to. I had no idea he was such a talented artist. He even worked at a TV station and became a courtroom sketch artist. Interesting. His football experiences were dramatic like a roller coaster. It was such a “game” to play to get chosen and some of those NFL guys were sleazy and disgraceful. I was pleasantly surprised that he was not one of them. He shifted over to the entertainment industry to pursue a career, yet another brutal competition. I think the biggest life lesson Terry teaches us is that the power of persistence and hard work pay off. “No is negotiable.” Through it all he has an incredible wife. His admiration and respect for her is refreshing.
I liked his funny thought about his wife supporting him through all of the highs and lows. “It wouldn’t surprise me to learn that she looked over at me sometimes and thought “I can’t leave you. You need me. You’ll die without me because you’re an idiot.”
Working out for him started as a coping mechanism from his childhood. He eventually realized working out was for the mind as well as for the body. It inspires me to be more active. “It was almost as if my thoughts had become cloudy and my spirit had become depressed.” Then by contrast his mood was improved. “That’s why I always tell people to treat working out like the spa, not as something we force ourselves to do, but as an indulgence, a treat, an activity we do to get our minds together.”
“As men, we will study how to be the best architect, the best football player, the best actor. We’ll spend all the time we can find on our careers. But we need to be spending more time studying how to be a great husband, how to be a great father, how to be a great man.”
“… this is how faith works: You take action based on where you want to be, not based on where you are. And I began to see that we all get some things in life we don’t deserve, and we can all point to times in our lives when things went our way.“
The funniest image this book gave me in my head was of Big Terry playing the flute. Love it. I had to google it and I was entertained....more
8/23/22 I read the 2022 version this time and there were some good updates as far as how flipping houses has changed since Covid hit and affected real 8/23/22 I read the 2022 version this time and there were some good updates as far as how flipping houses has changed since Covid hit and affected real estate. Other than that, it is similar information. I was disappointed that they didn’t bother to update the photos to today’s standards. Who puts laminate countertops in the kitchen anymore? The styles were not reflecting today’s modern look.
original Review: I love this book. It was very educational and exactly what I wanted to know. My husband and I have been interested in Real Estate for many years and bought our first Fixer Upper a few years ago, which we lived in during the renovations with kids and all. I do not recommend doing that if you can help it. Total chaos. Dirty disaster. We still live there so we have yet to sell it to realize our profit. There is so much helpful information in this book, little tips and tricks and so many different directions you can go with house flipping opportunities. Depending on how big of a project you want to take on and how big of a profit you want to take home.
There is too much to mention so here are some of the things: doing title research, shopping for reliable contractors, hiring the right realtor, homeowner’s insurance, different methods for funding flips, websites to refer to, searching for the right house (or worst house), paying a realistic price to ensure a profitable outcome, levels such as bare minimum renovations and maximum renovations, how much money to have for holding costs—the breakdown of repairs and such, even how much you may get taxed. I loved the breakdown of every step to take towards making flipping a house for a profit a reality. There was, of course, dry information with a lot of numbers but if you are passionate about house flipping, it is valuable. I think the photos need to be updated and in color, but besides that, very useful. I liked that there was also humor throughout the book.
Most bang for your buck on renovations—replacing the front door
Spotting the signs of a good neighborhood—"If you're driving down a street at dusk and neighbors are sitting on their front porches with guns across their laps, that's not a neighborhood you should consider flipping in."...more
I love the home designs on "Fixer Upper," however, in this book there is a lack of personality. There was very little variety displayed in this book. I love the home designs on "Fixer Upper," however, in this book there is a lack of personality. There was very little variety displayed in this book. The photos were too neutral; The style was consistently classic. Everywhere there was black and white and wood…including the cover. You might sometimes think that the photos are actually in black and white. An occasional green plant added some much needed color. I was hoping for different pops of color on the kitchen backsplash, on the walls, in all sorts of places in various rooms. Instead it was the same thing, the same thing, the same thing. I do like what she had to say about design and making your home tell your story and be practical for you. I liked at the beginning of the book where you can realize what your specific home style is. ...more
This book depicts the lifestyle and habits of self-made millionaires. Contrary to popular belief, the average millionaire does not live a life of luxuThis book depicts the lifestyle and habits of self-made millionaires. Contrary to popular belief, the average millionaire does not live a life of luxury the way the media loudly and shamelessly exploits. It makes complete sense; they would not have become millionaires in the first place if they had an over-the-top lifestyle. The media sensationalizes the handful of millionaires that do live that way as if it is the norm. This book points out the common sensibility among the regular millionaires. They realized that to become financially independent it takes sacrifice, discipline, and hard work. These qualities are readily discouraged by our society plagued by an attitude of self-entitlement and instant gratification. There is scarcely a sense of pride in earning a lifestyle nowadays, rather people borrow it and drown in a pool of enormous debt.
These self-made millionaires are conservative, frugal, keep a household budget, live well below their means, buy used cars (not foreign), live in modest homes in middle class neighborhoods (not high end upscale neighborhoods), kids attend public schools and they prioritize financial security over social standing. I’m already of that mindset because I don’t care that much about what’s trending in fashion and current technology (newest phone), I don’t care what car I drive, I don’t get my hair done or my nails…I do care about the food I eat so I would rather go out to a restaurant with my family once in a while.
They emphasized that a high income does not equal wealth. Often times when there is a high income there is the probability of high consumption which translates to cash poor with a low net worth. If you earn to spend then you will never obtain any significant wealth. What matters is how much wealth you accumulate. There’s a phrase they used in the book "Big hat, no cattle" which basically means you have the money and nothing to show for it. If their income were lost they would not be able to sustain their lifestyle. In comparison, you have the "quiet wealthy" who are inconspicuous and have plenty of buried treasure they do not flaunt in front of the world or even their children. They encourage their children to be self-sufficient, and limit what they call “outpatient care” (giving cash gifts after their children are grown). If they give cash gifts they pay for tuition towards education rather than only cash which can in turn be spent unwisely.
Some of the statistics in the book became redundant. I thought “I get it already.” I also expected more of a mention in regards to owning real estate and what their investment strategies were. It was often pointed out that self-employment, owning their own business, helped them become financially independent yet it contradicted that by stating it is not recommended due to the risk involved. Hmmm…what to do then.
Moral of the story: “Planning and controlling consumption are key factors underlying wealth accumulation.” ...more
This book has simple practical recommendations to help manage personal finances. He strongly suggests making everything automatic to make certain thinThis book has simple practical recommendations to help manage personal finances. He strongly suggests making everything automatic to make certain things get done instead of relying on self-discipline alone. He also encourages living within your means. The first sensible thing to start with is to pay yourself first, before taxes such as a 401k. He gave advice on purchasing a home as a step to eventually get into your dream home. He mentioned a mistake that a lot of homeowners do after selling their first house, they upgrade to a bigger house which hinders the ability get ahead financially. You stay in the same financial situation. Another alternative is to sell the house and buy another modest home to sacrifice for a better financial future. Apparently, holding onto your first house to rent out is also a good plan to increase your worth. It seems like you might have to wait many years though and if you have a late start, it might feel a little discouraging. I like the personal stories shared in this book to show the possibilities of what can become of your finances with homeownership. ...more
I absolutely love the show “Fixer Upper.” I watched it for the first time on an airplane flying home and instantly loved it. It got funnier the more II absolutely love the show “Fixer Upper.” I watched it for the first time on an airplane flying home and instantly loved it. It got funnier the more I watched it and I told my husband “I’m watching US.” Chip’s crazy antics reminded me of my husband and Joanna’s reactions to him were like my reactions to my husband. I laugh and roll my eyes a lot. Anyway, I find the show and the couple to be genuine and inspiring…and the book is the same.
I enjoyed the alternating views between Chip and Jo. I first wondered if their story might make me envious of what I don’t have but instead it made me want to go out and make things happen to get what I want out of life. Chip amazes me how spontaneous he is and he is not afraid to try new things to work smarter, not harder. He takes life by the horns. I like that they have a big family and they put them first. The photos of their past were fun. I wanted even more with before-and-after renovations on their personal homes they transformed. I wonder if they didn’t take any because it was disappointing to see so few. I wanted to see, in photos, how they started out and how far they have come.
My husband is entrepreneurially minded like Chip and I have a hard time with it because there is no steady paycheck and we have 5 kids. Somehow it has worked out for this couple. Mostly I think it might be because Chip is so dang charming. Chip and Jo have certainly lived a very blessed married life. A lot of good things happened to them that don’t normally happen to people. The farmhouse sold to them below its value because they sold the owner a home. Seriously!? We are in texas and have made so many offers and nothing. Also who gets handed a $100,000 check!? No one I know. Not me. I wish someone would’ve offered me a check before foreclosing on our last home, but nope. We don’t have the reputation yet either for people to invest in us. I’m glad that they seem like good people and deserve good things to happen to them.
It was funny that Chip thought the TV show offer was a scam right from the start and told Joanna not to call them back. Anyone would have thought the same thing. Then when they did call them back and the camera crew followed them around, they were horrible…until Chip’s so-called misfortune played in their favor. Jo had major concerns with this houseboat: their kids couldn’t swim and it had HOLES in it, in A BOAT. I was surprised by his impulsive buys especially when it involved the entire family-BUYING A HOUSE without consulting your spouse! He has done this not just once but over and over again and she accepts it. Joanna is patient and even when she gets angry she is quick to turn around and solve the situation to make it work in their favor. I admire her for that.
Their dating history was entertaining. Jo’s response to him saying “I love you” for the first time was “Thank you.” She didn’t know how to react and he stormed off thinking “What in the world is with this girl?...Am I dating a cyborg or something?” I totally related to that because my husband and I joke about me being a robot because I’m not usually very emotional. It’s sometimes a weakness and other times a strength. They brought out the best in each other, and apparently still do. I admire that they have never owned a TV since they got married and enjoy spending time together. They have had fights of course and one time in particular Jo slammed a bucket of primer down on the ground and the paint splashed onto her face dripping from her eyelashes and her nose. Chip started laughing and it made her angrier. I don’t know how she kept from laughing.
Their first year of marriage Joanna would help fix up a house and thought they had settled only to find out Chip bought another house and they were going to move and fix that house. “She cried. Again. That was sort of her thing during year one. If we ever write a marriage book, chapter 1 will be called, “She cried.” I’m telling you this woman is resilient because she made each of those houses a home. She learned to adjust quickly because she never knew what Chip would bring into their lives next.
I could not believe that after their first baby was barely a week old Chip was hauled to jail for unpaid fines because of a neighbor calling animal control to take their unleashed dogs away. Wow, so stupid. How about being civil and talking to your neighbor first? The dogs weren’t even bothering anyone. After being bailed out they told stories of Chip absentmindedly leaving their newborn baby at home alone while Jo was going for a run. Doh!
It did not really answer the question “Is Chip really that funny?” I believe he is, but more stories with his antics would have been awesome. Next book maybe? I hope they also make a renovation book. I can’t get enough of this amazing couple. ...more
I first have to give credit to my husband because as I was reading this I became impressed with him; I realized how good I have it. He is amazing in tI first have to give credit to my husband because as I was reading this I became impressed with him; I realized how good I have it. He is amazing in the bedroom. It seems so easy for him to put me first in his life. He does nearly everything for me that was discussed in this book. He would be ecstatic to know that he is the “King of the Bedroom.” Hopefully that isn’t too much information.
I wanted to read this with hopes of what to look forward to for our sex life after I am done nursing our baby. I have been pregnant or nursing for the past 11 years so I am hoping to regain some semblance of a sex drive because as of now my mojo is nonexistent. Where’s a book that addresses that issue with moms?
This book was straightforward and to the point. I liked that the author did not shy away from the details of sex. I hate when books supposedly talk about sex but they are vague and not helpful in the least. I will say though that a bit of it came off as chauvinistic and degrading to women. It favors the male ego emphasizing how important sex is to him and women were sometimes an afterthought. One such reference said that when a man was not in the mood for sex the woman could begin to take responsibility for her own pleasure—how insulting! Yet when a woman was not in the mood it alluded to her giving into a quickie for her man as if she was obligated to. If I’m not in the mood it means I do not want anything at all and I don’t think I should feel guilty about it. As a woman I do not want, or deserve, to feel used and as a result become resentful. I disagree with some points. There were some harsh stereotypes that made men out to be selfish and insensitive while women were to be submissive.
What I did appreciate were the examples on saying “no” in a positive way so the man does not feel rejected and eventually quit initiating sex. Sometimes if I have had a hard day I will let my husband know that I will plan a good time the next night so he knows I still want to be with him. He would rather I be into sex anyway than be dead in the bed. It’s better for the both of us.
I agree that a good sexual experience, or sex life for that matter, seems to depend mostly on the woman because a man feels the most fulfilled when the woman is satisfied. “For sex to be memorable from both the male and female perspective, the woman needs to be fulfilled. I have never heard a man complain ‘She had a great time and I didn’t. All she cared about was herself and her own pleasure. She had her way with me and then left.’”
I liked the interpretations he gave for the woman’s clothes at bedtime, they were a silly exaggeration because sometimes you wear something because that color looks good on you. For instance, if she wears black lace or garters she is giving a clear signal that she wants to have sex. She knows what she wants and it is intense, hot, and lusty. If it’s a black bra and underwear she is in a more seductive and aggressive mood. Whereas in a white silky satin outfit, she may feel sensitive, gentle, and loving. I thought it was funny when old cotton flannel pajamas were on the list as “not in the mood.” So true. That’s when I want to be comfy and relax. I was surprised there was no mention of the color red. Red seems to give my husband the signal that I want it and I will probably take over and be passionate. I think it fits in the lusty category.
It touches on the difficulties of a woman’s day-to-day tasks which I related to as a stay-at-home mom. “The more a woman is focused throughout her day on caring for and giving to others, the less aware she is of herself and her own sensual desires.” I find that to be true in my life. I agreed with the advice for a man to plan out the details for such things as their dates. When a man handles the details, the woman can then relax and feel taken care of. This helps me so I don’t feel like sex is just another task I need to do, instead I feel loved and want to be more affectionate toward my husband. I really feel appreciated when he takes care of our kids at bed time or does the cleanup after dinner. If we acknowledge how hard each of us works then we keep our relationship more meaningful. ...more
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