I chose to listen to Carmen Maria Machado’s memoir “In the Dream House” because it fulfills my monthly challenge of reading a book outside my favored I chose to listen to Carmen Maria Machado’s memoir “In the Dream House” because it fulfills my monthly challenge of reading a book outside my favored genres. I am not a fan of memoirs.
Machado’s memoir is noted for its unorthodox structure. She narrates her memoir, and it’s unusual in that it’s written in second person, so it seems removed, somewhat passive. But the narrative is not passive. In a passive, and at times monotone voice, Machado tells a chilling story of her disturbing relationship with her partner. Machado uses her memory, those pivotal moments to tell her story; there is no linear timeline. At times, it reads like a series of essays. I have read reviews on the written work, and it seems that she includes footnotes, which I didn’t notice, perhaps because she was speaking with great flurry. Thus, I may have missed important information in the audio version.
What I found eye-opening is our society’s lack of recognition of domestic abuse in the queer community. Unfortunately, that carries into the queer community…no clear consensus of what defines domestic abuse. From the memoir, I learned that violence in queer relationships is silenced in the queer community as well.
This is at times a painful read. There is so much drama, negative drama. Because Machado is a writer, and much of her relationship with this woman was during her graduate school years, and as was her habit, she wrote her rage, confusion, worry at that time. Her writing became a lifeline. It is from these raw compositions that Machado engineers her memoir; at times her story has the present tense “feel” about it because she uses the original text of significant events.
Do I recommend it? Yes, because she covers a topic that deserves attention. I learned some nuances of the queer community. I was shocked to learn that queer violence has no legal enforcement. Or, if there could be enforcement, it becomes fuzzy because laws were made for heterosexual people. I became engrossed and enraged with her story.
I wish Ms. Machado well. She deserves a happy ending. ...more
Thank you GR friend Tania for recommending “Notes on Grief” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.
I have lost both my parents, and for me, grief is indescribablThank you GR friend Tania for recommending “Notes on Grief” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.
I have lost both my parents, and for me, grief is indescribable. Adichie explains her evolution once she found out that her beloved father died in the summer of 2020, amidst the Covid epidemic.
Some examples of her writing:
“Grief is not gauzy; it is substantial, oppressive, a thing opaque. The weight is heaviest in the morning, post sleep: a leaden heart, a stubborn reality that refuses to budge.”
“Grief is forcing new skins on me, scraping scales from my eyes.”
“Imagine dreading a burial and yet longing for it to pass.”
This is a brief novel, only 67 pages.
The last sentence of the book, one that painfully resonates with me:
“I am writing about my father in the past tense, and I cannot believe I am writing about my father in the past tense.” ...more
3.5 stars: My book club chose “Crying in H Mart” as our November read. This is a memoir, which fulfills my October reading challenge of reading 2 memoi3.5 stars: My book club chose “Crying in H Mart” as our November read. This is a memoir, which fulfills my October reading challenge of reading 2 memoirs. Yay me.
I was not familiar with the author’s indie rock band, “Japanese Breakfast” prior to reading Michelle Zauner’s very emotionally raw memoir about her processing her losses after her mother died.
Zauner grew up in Eugene Oregon; her mother was Korean and her father American. She struggled in identity. She felt neither white nor Korean. Her mother, who was fully immersed in the Korean beauty culture, found Zauner’s tom-boyish needs perplexing. Every other year, her mother took Zauner to Korea during the summer to retain her Korean roots. She painfully details her adolescence defiance and rage.
She went to University on the East Coast. She started a band, supported herself with jobs in the restaurant industry. When she was 25, which her mother deemed an auspicious birth year, Zauner learned her mother had stage 4 pancreatic cancer.
Zauner’s relationship with her mother was mercurial and painful to read. Eventually she comes to terms with her Korean identity, culture, and all that her mother attempted to instill. I am not familiar with Korean foods, and this is chock-full of Korean culinary delights. I found reading about what her mother served her very interesting. Also, Zauner details what goes into making healthy, hearty and nutritious comfort foods. She shows how cooking and feeding loved ones is a sign of devotion.
This is an illuminating read about some of the struggles Asian American children endure with identity. ...more
“I wanted to find a form that would express this confusion between fact and fiction which seems to increasingly become the texture of our reality or u“I wanted to find a form that would express this confusion between fact and fiction which seems to increasingly become the texture of our reality or unreality," ---(Author Ayad Akhtar’s reason for writing a fiction/memoir combo)
Mission accomplished, at least for me. I chose to listen to author Ayad Akhtar’s much praised “Homeland Elegies” because he narrates it. I feel that when an author narrates their own work, the feelings that he is expressing in written word are portrayed by his voice. As an aside, his narrating skills are top grade. He possesses multiple dialects and each of his characters have their own voice. Akhtar is a fantastic narrator.
Now to the story. For me, it was uneven. I physically cringed at some of the racism his protagonist encountered. Akhtar provided a personal touch to what Muslims have endeared in the United States, especially after 9/11. This story reads like a memoir, yet he says it is fiction…well, some of it is fiction and he won’t divulge what is fiction and what is not. He adds dollops of cultural events, providing his opinion as to how it affected America, especially the economy. His cultural analysis also lays out his opinion as to how Trump came to win the presidency. And inexplicably, he added some fairly graphic sex scenes, more than one. For this 63-year-old lady, it was uncalled for and questionable. I found it to be distracting. It most likely turned off a big segment of readers. Perhaps he only wants young readers.
Nonetheless, I persisted because it is a highly rated story and one that is supposed to be relevant in our culture to expose our American racism. He accomplished that for me. But that wasn’t the main message. In fact, I’m not sure what his message was because it doesn’t really have a common thread, other than following a Muslim man’s coming-of-age. I guess I wanted more of his feelings about racism, which is rampant regarding Muslim Americans. I did find his beliefs about how Trump’s rise to power occurred to be interesting. I read this to learn and to open my mind.
I am in the minority in not loving this one. It was just too uneven for me. ...more
There is a reason that Michelle Obama is one of the most beloved First Ladies. She’s real. She’s a devoted mother and spouse. She cares, truly cares aThere is a reason that Michelle Obama is one of the most beloved First Ladies. She’s real. She’s a devoted mother and spouse. She cares, truly cares about people. Most of all, she’s never been a fan of politics; she finds it nasty, uncivil, and uncompromising. I’m with ya Michelle.
Only because of book club I read this memoir. I’m am NOT a fan of the genre. I believe it’s a platform with hidden agendas and one that mostly involves humble bragging. I began to read this with a jaded heart. Saying that, I loved her as FLOTUS. I loved her garden, her initiative to get kids to move. I loved her girl-power awareness. Nonetheless, I remained skeptical.
Reading her novel, I was reminded of all the stupid things the press got stuck on about her. For example, she wore shorts when it was hot and humid. When she gave a speech and she tried to bring out the humane part of her husband (leaving socks and dirty towels lying about). She was named a shrew. It’s how I feel now about the press giving an inordinate amount of press over Mrs. Trump’s fashion choices when there is far more to stress about her husband and his presidency.
What I admire about her, after reading the novel, is her diligence in raising her girls. She wants them to grow, thrive, and become graceful, strong, intelligent women, women who aren’t afraid to take up space and be heard. She walked a tightrope with the opulence of the White House and her need to raise respectful and well-mannered girls. She also wanted as much of a normal childhood for them, even with the Secret Service following their every move.
I forgot about her accomplishments. When she writes about them, there is no humble bragging. She worked hard and she is pleased with her accomplishments. Yet, as her title states, she feels that her work is not complete. “Becoming requires equal parts patience and rigor. Becoming is never giving up on the idea that there’s more growing to be done”. Yes, there is more growing to be done. ...more
“The Dead Drink First” is an original audible production written by and narrated by the Pulitzer Prize winner Dale Maharidge. It’s three and a half ho“The Dead Drink First” is an original audible production written by and narrated by the Pulitzer Prize winner Dale Maharidge. It’s three and a half hours long, and one of the most profound memoirs I’ve experienced. He writes of his father, a WWII veteran, who was abusive to his family with a hair-trigger anger.
Dale wanted to find out what happened to his father in WWII that changed his personality into the man that Dale remembers. Maharidge goes on a quest to find out who one of his father’s war buddies was, and what happened to him.
In the quest, Maharidge interviews families of WWII veterans, along with their families. You hear their voices, unedited, and heart wrenchingly raw. I learned so much about missing POW’s and our government’s departments assigned to keeping records. There are so many tragic stories. As Maharidge shows, the majority of the US population thinks of WWII as a noble war, a good war. Maharidge shows the collateral damage of all those young men, put into battle at tender ages.
I tend to stay away from memoirs as I always think they are a venue to make the author feel highly of themselves. This is far from that. It’s a factual based study of finding what happened to those veterans and how the war affected their lives. It’s a must listen, and it’s a free listen, worth every second invested in listening. ...more
“Educated” by Tara Westover is her memoir of growing up off the grid with her survivalist family in the mountains of Idaho. While some are amazed that“Educated” by Tara Westover is her memoir of growing up off the grid with her survivalist family in the mountains of Idaho. While some are amazed that she was homeschooled (barely) and got into Harvard and Cambridge University, I felt that the no traditional medical treatment was far more staggering. Westover’s family didn’t believe in hospitals or modern medicine and her mother grew herbs and tinctures to treat illnesses and accidents. Her memoir is full of severe brain injuries along with parlous burns, all of which were successfully treated with homeopathic herbs.
I enjoyed reading the story. It’s an engrossing and easy read. She diagnoses her father as having bipolar disease. From her writing, that isn’t the only mental issue he had. What I did enjoy is that she also includes other’s memories. She finds that her memories don’t always jibe with her sibling’s memories. For me, this gives her story more credibility. Memories are a funny thing, and she doesn’t suggest that her memories are the correct ones.
I read this for book club, and everyone enjoyed this read. The fact that she made it out alive amazes me more than the fact that she got into college. I recommend this as an enlightening read of those who grow up in alternative (unconventional) lifestyles. ...more
Hyeonseo Lee who writes of her life while in North Korea, her escape to China, and her immigration to South Korea writes “The Girl With Seven Names”. Hyeonseo Lee who writes of her life while in North Korea, her escape to China, and her immigration to South Korea writes “The Girl With Seven Names”. I am not a fan of Memoirs, yet I found her story fascinating. If you are curious about the North Korea culture and how North Koreans love their country, you will enjoy this story.
Ms Lee describes the caste system in North Korea. She describes crimes and punishment in North Korea. The most heinous crime in North Korea is not paying proper homage to Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il. If respect is seen to be not ideal, death is the consequence. Other crimes can go away with bribes. For example, dealing in heroin is a crime that can go away with bribes. In fact, the more money a family has based upon their caste system. Those of higher class, similar to Lee’s family, find North Korea fine.
She also describes her years in China. Because China borders North Korea, there are many Chinese-Korean immigrants with Chinese identities. As in North Korea, with enough bribes in China, one can do many things.
Although the reader knows that Lee makes in to South Korea and becomes a citizen, the novel reads like suspense. She also chronicles the immigration of her brother and Mother.
This is a book club read and EVERYONE enjoyed it. It’s rare that all members enjoy the novel. It’s a brilliant novel that explains the citizens of North Korea and their continued patronage of their country. It describes the perilous journeys of those who escape. Her co-writer David John both deserves their international bestseller status. ...more
“Hillbilly Elegy” is a personal account by author J.D. Vance of his life as a “hillbilly”. Vance is a proud hillbilly. He approached this work as a so“Hillbilly Elegy” is a personal account by author J.D. Vance of his life as a “hillbilly”. Vance is a proud hillbilly. He approached this work as a sociological study of his people. He illuminates both the strengths and flaws of the Hillbilly culture. As a person who has not had much contact (i.e. NO contact) with people from that part of the USA, I found his work to be fascinating. I’ve read other reviewers who beg to differ in his analysis. I approached this work as one person’s experience. I found his life to be amazing in that his cultural upbringing was so different from mine from the Midwest. It’s a short work, and worthy of the time spent reading it. I highly recommend it as a piece of work that shed’s light on a part of America that is most likely misunderstood. This was a book club novel and EVERYONE enjoyed it, which is a rarity. ...more
4.5 stars: I was assured from a couple of GR friends that this novel is worth the time to read. It is. I’ve seen Mary-Louise Parker in movies, and I’v4.5 stars: I was assured from a couple of GR friends that this novel is worth the time to read. It is. I’ve seen Mary-Louise Parker in movies, and I’ve admired her film work. Now, I’m a great admirer of her literary work. This was a Book Club read, and all members, which is unusual, loved the book.
The novel is a book of letters to men in her life. Most of them are almost love letters. In all of them, she is brutally honest about herself. She takes responsibilities and ownership for her failings. She portrays herself as strong and weak; courageous and fearful. She is human.
The reader is given a glimpse into some of her most vulnerable times. The reader almost gets to see how she matured, and grew into the woman she is now. She’s led a blessed life, but it wasn’t always blessed. And she’s grateful for the men in her life that have been a part of her formation. She sees all characters, whether they were hurtful or not, as important to her ultimate being.
My favorite was her letter to Abraham, her accountant. Her letter to her former boyfriend is a hoot. Her letter to her movement teacher is a proof to her resilience and character. Her letter to Blue is sweet and funny. I am inspired by her memory of all these characters in her life and how they affected her. She is able to see beauty and humor in so many flawed experiences. I wish I held that capacity. As I write this review, it’s near a new year, I think a resolution of writing a weekly letter to a man or person who impacted my life would be awesome.
I highly recommend this book for it’s honesty, it’s literary worth, and it’s inspirational qualities. It’s a quick read, yet holds fodder for introspection. ...more
At my last book club meeting, we all expressed an interest in the understanding the underlying allure of cult religions. One very pubic “cult” religioAt my last book club meeting, we all expressed an interest in the understanding the underlying allure of cult religions. One very pubic “cult” religion is Scientology (many thanks to Tom Cruise and his crazy eyes while discussing Scientology). So we picked “Beyond Belief, My Secret Life Inside Scientology and My Harrowing Escape” to read. I always read Memoirs with a bit of caution; after all, it’s one person’s point of view. I was impressed with the Author’s Note at the beginning, where Ms. Miscaviage Hill states that the story is true to the best of her recollection. I like that sort of honesty upfront. It’s a fast read considering it’s 400 pages long. Hill provides the “basics” of the religion and the steadfast hold the religion has on their members in easy to understand verbiage. She tells the story from the “born and raised devoted church member’s” point of view. It’s easy to see how she and others are/were manipulated. It’s creepy and scary to realize that there are humans out in this world who can be persuaded to join this religion. Her revelation of one of the teachings, which one doesn’t learn until they’ve invested $100,000(or more) in the Church along with time and devotion, is that a foundation premise of Scientology is that “75 million years ago, a galactic overlord named Xenu banished Thetans(humans) to Earth to solve an overpopulation problem on his alien planet. The banishment of the Thetans and a series of incidents surrounding it were said to be the source of all human misery.” Funny stuff, but I guess many religions have some interesting premises, involving evolution for one. It’s an interesting story and a good read if you are interested in learning about Scientology, although you can Utube the subject and get lots more information....more
3.5 stars: This is a very interesting story about a woman who decides at a moments notice to give a common street urchin her time of day. It takes pla3.5 stars: This is a very interesting story about a woman who decides at a moments notice to give a common street urchin her time of day. It takes place in the ‘80s in NYC. This 11 year old kid asks her for money because he’s hungry. She rushes by, and half a block later turns back, offers him lunch instead of money. The kid wants to hit McDonalds, to which she agrees, and off goes their relationship. I’m not sure I’d take a street urchin out to lunch, so I admire her audacity. It’s a fast read, good story, and easy to read. She becomes a fixture in his life as he grows up, providing some stability. Their relationship is a bit unstable due to her boy friend’s feelings of appropriateness. It does beg the question as to whether it’s true: that there are some people in your life that are destined to be a part of your life....more
This biography of Amanda Lindhout reminds this reader of Cheryl Strayed’s “Wild” in that both young ladies, in their 20’s get themselves into serious This biography of Amanda Lindhout reminds this reader of Cheryl Strayed’s “Wild” in that both young ladies, in their 20’s get themselves into serious trouble as a result of youthful indiscretions. Both ladies planned their trips, so logic was involved. Yet both ladies, due somewhat as a result of being young, didn’t logically assess the danger involved in their trips. Ms Strayed got very very lucky and came out relatively unscathed, while Ms Lindhout’s recklessness had her suffer dire consequences. In August of 2008 Lindhout traveled to Somalia knowing it was one of the most dangerous places on earth. She persuaded Australian photographer Nigel Brennan to join her. She’s abducted with Nigel and held for ransom by her captors for 460 days. This is a gritty story of what can (and did) happen to well-meaning people in war-torn countries. Lindhout makes it out alive and has chosen to use her experience to establish a Foundation that supports women in Somalia. Linhout has chosen to forgive her captors, which is a struggle. I liked how she brought out that forgiveness is fluid: one day you are emotionally capable of forgiving, and another day, not. It’s an ongoing process and ability. It’s an interesting story, but for this reader, some parts didn’t ring true. It’s Amanda’s story, and in her story she emasculates Nigel and paints herself in the most favorable light. Nigel has written his version of what happened, entitled “Price of A Life” which would be interesting to read to learn his perspective. Nonetheless, this reader wishes her and her Foundation well....more
3.5 stars..maybe 3.75 stars I am not a fan of Memoirs. I am a big fan of this book. Kerman writes authentically and honestly about her life in a priso3.5 stars..maybe 3.75 stars I am not a fan of Memoirs. I am a big fan of this book. Kerman writes authentically and honestly about her life in a prison. She doesn’t make herself into a victim; she takes full responsibility for her youthful indiscretions. In fact, this would be a great high school required read. That youthful frontal lobe makes bad judgements without realizing consequences. She characterizes the jailers as both kind and creepy. She honestly portrays the jailed women as both good and unscrupulous. I learned about the prison system. I found the most tragic piece of information I learned is about the “rehabilitation” program. Our Penal system does a poor job of getting these women ready for society once they serve their long sentences. This novel is very easy to read. ...more
This is a sweet and tender coming of age story taking place in Florida in the year 1946. It's a shame this book can only be gotten via eReader. I don'This is a sweet and tender coming of age story taking place in Florida in the year 1946. It's a shame this book can only be gotten via eReader. I don't own an eReader, but was told it's a great story (which it is) and got the app for it on my Mac. It was well worth it. The story is told from Lil Bit's point of view, when she is recollecting her life at the age of 11-13. Lil Bit is being raised by her Bubbah, which the reader learns is any woman who raises you who is not your mother but assumes the duties of the mother. In her case, her Bubbah is her Grandmother. They live in the "Blacks only" area of a town called Arcadia. Lil Bit is a typical child of the times, getting herself into some trouble, trying to be good, being innocent. She unwittingly gets involved in a missing person mystery which she tries to make sense of in her innocent way. It's a beautifully written story, so easy and fun to read. It's a story of her life at that time of our history: racial tension, discrimination, poverty. Through the eyes of sweet Lil Bit, the story is a joy to read. I read the main review for this and it compared it with "To Kill a Mockingbird". I'd agree. The authors did a great job writing authentically from a young girls point of view. I loved it. Also it's free on KU for all you Amazon users!...more
Barbara (NOT RECEIVING NOTIFICATIONS!)
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