Browsing around the marché aux puces yesterday, Not discovered this book, the first in the phenomenally popular series by Dominique de Saint Mars. I hBrowsing around the marché aux puces yesterday, Not discovered this book, the first in the phenomenally popular series by Dominique de Saint Mars. I have read over fifty of them but somehow never come across this one, so as you can imagine I was curious to see how it all started.
The theme is one that has been done any number of times - cute, annoying kid doesn't want to go to bed and keeps making excuses so that they can stay up a bit longer - and to be honest I didn't think it was the strongest example I'd seen in this genre. My favourite is still Godnatt, Alfons Åberg, which is better written, better illustrated, and funnier. Looking around, I find this cut-out-and-stick page, which does a good job of summarising the plot:
[image]
All the same, the ending here is still quite nice. Lili's parents keep trying to send her to bed so that they can get some we time, but Lili outwits and outcutes them. When she comes back with her final delaying tactic, she finds she's won; Mom has dozed off, her head resting peacefully against Dad's shoulder. In that case, thinks Lili, it's time for me to go to sleep too! Awwwww....more
Okay, it's that time of year again. Here are my prizes for books first read in 2016, split up by category:
New languages
I thought I'd see if I could reOkay, it's that time of year again. Here are my prizes for books first read in 2016, split up by category:
New languages
I thought I'd see if I could read books in Russian and Italian - I did a couple of years of Russian at school during the 70s, and my mother is Italian, though she never taught me her language. How hard could it be?
Answer: Italian does in fact seem pretty easy, though so far I've only read a few children's books. Russian is considerably harder! I did however manage to get through a long chess book, Защита Алехина, and I'm sure it's improved my command of the language a great deal. More Italian and Russian in 2017!
German
I've been working on German for two or three years now, and I'm starting to feel more confident. I can read books for children and younger teens without difficulty, and adult books if I'm prepared to guess a fair number of words. For people who don't already know, there is some wonderful German children's literature. I think my favorite was Jim Knopf und Lukas der Lokomotivführer, which I'd barely even heard of before I found a copy on a Berlin bookstall, but there were several others that ran it close.
A big thank you to all my Germanophone Goodreads friends, especially Matt, who have been amazingly kind and supportive towards this newbie's efforts!
Scandinavian
We unexpectedly inherited a bunch of Swedish books from the aunt of a Geneva friend - he didn't know anyone else who read Swedish, so I was the lucky recipient. Thank you Gio! As a result, I finally got around to reading Ingmar Bergman's Laterna Magica, which was indeed just as extraordinary as I'd been led to believe. I have plenty more interesting Swedish books on the shelf! I only read one Norwegian book, but Pan was utterly brilliant. I must get back to reading Hamsun.
French
I read sixteen French books this year. The one I liked best was La carte et le territoire; unlike many novelists, Michel Houellebecq seems to be improving as he gets older. I thought this was a wonderful black comedy, and I'd recommend it to anyone interested in the world of modern art. Soumission, the book that followed it, is even better.
English fiction
I didn't read a huge amount of English fiction, but Geoff finally persuaded me to pick up Against the Day. Geoff, you were right... it's as good as you said. It was the first book I read this year, and I was going to read some more Pynchon, but we're already in mid-December. Oh well... more Pynchon in 2017, I think!
Non-fiction
I read 26 non-fiction books - it's difficult to pick a clear winner, and I think I'm going to have to share first place between Helge Kragh's Niels Bohr and the Quantum Atom and Catherine MacKinnon's Towards a Feminist Theory of the State. The first one convinced me that I had to carry on with quantum mechanics; the second, that I needed to start on feminist theory. My 2017 list gets longer...
Special prize
If only more people had read Trump University 2010 Playbook, things could have been different. Anyway, you might want to take a look now. You can't say you weren't warned. ...more
Lili's having a terrible week. She's eating breakfast with her brother when the rents come in, Paul unshaven and Barbara with her hair sticking out inLili's having a terrible week. She's eating breakfast with her brother when the rents come in, Paul unshaven and Barbara with her hair sticking out in all directions. Lili can't believe she's living with this pair of ploucs. (There's a handy footnote to explain what that means). Max tells her to lighten up. But when you've decided you're ashamed of your family, Lili thinks you might as well do it properly.
At least she's got company in the low-self-esteem club. Her friend keeps wishing her mom would diet, but the obese old cow just keeps shovelling down the french fries. The two girls share a couple of horror stories. Then lithe, blonde Valentine swans by, boasting again about her mom, who is, would you fucking believe it, a movie star. She's just premiered in a new film and there are posters all over town. Valentine gives them every excruciating detail: the champagne reception, the gorgeous designer gown, the hunky co-star, the limo. Lili feels like sinking through the floor. Maybe she can die quietly and no one will notice?
But... just when it can't get worse, it all turns around! Lili and friend are walking past another of those horrible posters, and a couple of guys point at it and laugh sarcastically. "Sucked," says one. "Big-time," agrees the other. "Can't stand that bitch," says the first, as he indicates Valentine's mom. The two girls suddenly think life might be worth living after all. And two minutes later, they find a flyer headed BIG IS BEAUTIFUL, featuring a cute but distinctly plus-sized chick. A modelling agency is doing a talent search for mature, real women. They look at each other with a wild surmise. "You gotta be kidding," murmurs Lili. But her friend knows she's on a roll. She scoops up the flyer, runs home, fills out the form and posts it before she can change her mind. And, oh sweet miracle, it works! Flash forward a month: chunky mom has won, and her poster is up on the wall! She looks pretty good, but somehow no one had ever noticed. Next morning, Lili gives Barbara a critical once-over.
"Well," she says at last. "Maybe you're a bit of a plouc, but I think you could be a model too. If you gained some weight." ...more
2015 wasn't a very good reading year (too much software development), but I did finally manage to achieve one of my long-term goals and do something a2015 wasn't a very good reading year (too much software development), but I did finally manage to achieve one of my long-term goals and do something about improving my German. It's still pretty basic, but I've now reached the point of being able to appreciate books for younger teens. Hopefully I'll progress to grown-up literature during 2016! But even at the level I'm at now, I found things to read which were worth all the trouble. Krabat, Das doppelte Lottchen and Momo were all fantastic novels that I'd barely even heard of before, and I discovered to my delight that Swedish children's books are nearly as good in German; I particularly loved Madita and Karlsson vom Dach. A huge thank you to all my German Goodreads friends, particularly Matt, for being so kind and patient about explaining things to someone who a few months ago was still thinking of their language as an odd dialect of Swedish!
If you still haven't got round to reading Houellebecq's Soumission, it's a lot of fun. And, last but definitely not least, Pettersson's Ut og stjæle hester is an extraordinary novel which somehow hasn't had time to become famous yet. Trust me, it will.
It's terrible, I've opened up some kind of Pandora's Box here. No sooner have I revised the story of one Ainsi va la vie book than I feel have to do tIt's terrible, I've opened up some kind of Pandora's Box here. No sooner have I revised the story of one Ainsi va la vie book than I feel have to do the same with another. Alas, Not's arguments seem irrefutable... but I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me give you the facts and you can form your own opinion. To start, here's Take 1, the original story from the book:
Coming out of school one day, Max rushes across the road without looking and is hit by a car. He's taken to hospital, where the nice doctor tells him that he's broken his leg in two places. "Am I going to die?" asks Max. "Course not!" says the doctor. "We're going to do a little operation, then you'll be fine. You'll just have to wear a cast for six weeks." Pretty soon, Mom has turned up and is being her usual kind, supportive self. The operation proceeds as expected (the book gives interesting details about how a general anaesthetic is administered, and that it's no big deal). Max is anxious at first about having to spend several more nights in hospital. But it soon becomes clear that the cute girl in the next bed over is kind of sweet on him, and in the end he's sorry to have to go home. She draws a big red heart on his cast as a farewell gift. When the day comes to remove the plaster, he asks the doctor if he can keep it.
Awwww! But Not's right: this could give kids the idea that getting run over is a fun and life-enhancing experience. Here's Take 2, written more in accordance with traditional Brothers Grimm values:
Max dashes across the road without looking and is hit by a car. He's taken to hospital and put into intensive care. "Will he be okay?" asks his mother tearfully when she arrives. The doctor tells her to sit down, then gives her the news. Max will probably survive, but they'll have to amputate both legs. There is also brain damage. There is no chance he'll have a normal life.
Max spends several months at the hospital before finally being allowed to come home. He is no longer the same boy. He suffers constant, excruciating pain and has wild mood swings, screaming every night until the small hours. The strain on his parents is intolerable. Barbara starts drinking heavily, then begins an affair with Paul's brother. When Paul finds out, he files for divorce and says he never wants to see her again. He starts to drink too.
One night, when surfing the web, Paul suddenly decides he wants to get married again. He selects a mail-order bride, a platinum blonde 22-year-old from Kirgyzstan. As soon as Olga turns up, it's clear that she and Lili can't stand each other. Things, already bad, start to spiral further downhill. It doesn't help that Olga is also an alcoholic.
A month later, Olga tells Paul that she's made arrangements for Lili to go to boarding school overseas; it's the best solution for everyone. Paul barely reacts, signing all the papers without even reading them. Lili is not going to boarding school. When she gets off the plane, she finds she's now working for a high-class brothel, in fact Olga's former employer. But she's reached bottom and finally gets a lucky break. One of her regular clients, a wealthy gangster, decides he likes her enough that he'll make her his mistress. Lili, smart as always, does everything in her power to please him. Vladimir is smitten with his young French girlfriend. A few months later, he asks her to marry him. In their remote corner of Kirgyzstan, it's perfectly legal despite the fact that she's still only 11.
"I have two conditions," says Lili. "I want you to bring Max and Dad here to live with us. And I want my stepmother killed. Slowly." Vladimir doesn't even hesitate. He makes arrangements for his right-hand man, an artist with the electric drill, to visit Olga the same week. She holds on for nearly six hours before passing out for the last time. Paul and Max arrive on the next flight.
And they all lived happily ever after. Nonetheless, the moral is clear: kids, road safety is important!
Okay, give me your honest opinion. Which version is more responsible? ______________________________
Update: Not disowns all responsibility for this review, and my attempts to get her to read the Brothers Grimm have also been uniformly unsuccessful. She says she'll just stick with nice, safe Jim Thompson, Georges Simenon, Ruth Rendell, etc etc... ...more
It is rare that I feel I want to rewrite any book in this excellent series, but Max raconte des bobards is an exception. Here is the story, including It is rare that I feel I want to rewrite any book in this excellent series, but Max raconte des bobards is an exception. Here is the story, including my suggested amendations:
Max and Lili are on vacation at a Normandy beach town. None of the big kids will take Max seriously, so he starts making up more and more unlikely tales: he's allowed to ride on his cousin's scooter, he's an expert fisherman (just not today), he's beaten a boy several years older than himself at arm-wrestling, etc. Within a couple of days, he's become a pathological liar. He and a friend try to sneak into the beauty contest to look at the bikini babes, despite the sign at the entrance saying ADULTS: 10 FRANCS. "I'm ten," says Max with barefaced bravado. "Are you sure?" asks the ticket lady kindly. "Under tens are free." Max changes his mind without missing a beat. The bikini babes are very well done and come in all shapes and sizes.
But Max's lying has caught up with him - he'd told his parents a different story about how he was going to spend the afternoon. Suddenly he's been outed and no one will believe a word he says! So when he runs over to his friends to tell them that a girl has been cut off by the incoming tide on a little rock and is yelling for help, they laugh in his face. Nothing deterred, Max grabs a surfboard, paddles out and rescues her all on his own. He returns in triumph pushing the distressed damsel on the board, while he swims along behind it. "Gotta believe in yourself," he murmurs as he accepts congratulations on his heroism. The girl drowns, and her shocked mother screams hysterically that if only he hadn't told so many lies her daughter would still be alive. Max has a nervous breakdown and is clearly going to spend the rest of his life seeing psychiatrists.
Ah, sorry. After-effects of reading the Brothers Grimm last week... ...more
Lili's friend Zoe has problems. Her parents fight all the time, which makes her life a misery. When we first meet her, it's dinner time and Mom is serLili's friend Zoe has problems. Her parents fight all the time, which makes her life a misery. When we first meet her, it's dinner time and Mom is serving up meatballs.
"I don't want any of your lousy meatballs," growls Dad, and puts his hand over his plate to show he means it. But he's too slow, or maybe Mom does it on purpose, because he gets a scalding splash of meatballs and gravy all over his wrist.
"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" he yells, and goes off to the bathroom to clean up. Zoe, who's been sitting next to her, says she's not hungry.
"Then get hungry!" snarls Mom and serves her some meatballs anyway. Zoe, a sweet-tempered little girl, tries her best to choke them down.
It gets worse. A few days later, Dad says he's had enough. You see him standing in the hall with his bags, accompanied by his daughter Lucille, a pouty, overweight 15 year old who dresses like a cross between Barbie and a cheap hooker. The parents do some final yelling at each other.
"YOU PATHETIC, NARCISSISTIC LITTLE BOY!" screams Mom.
"YOU FUCKING WHORE!" screams Dad. "YOU'VE FUCKED EVERYONE! MEN, WOMEN, MIDGETS... YOU NAME IT!!"
Mom manages to kick him. It looks like she's aiming for his groin, but she connects well above the waist.
"You've broken one of my ribs!" groans Dad. He limps off, accompanied by Lucille. A minute later, she comes back; Dad, who's a famous movie actor, has forgotten his statuette. She grabs it off the hall table and disappears again.
Zoe is left with Mom and her half-sister Danielle. Mom loves Danielle. She tries to love Zoe too, but she can't: Zoe reminds her too much of her second husband. Also, she's got a new boyfriend, an older man with graying hair and a permatan. He creepily tries to ingratiate himself with Zoe and Danielle, but can never remember which one is which. After a few weeks, Mom tells Zoe that she's going to have to go and live with Dad for a while.
Zoe doesn't argue. There's no point, and who knows? It might be better. On the way, she makes friends with a black cat. Zoe's wanted a cat for ages. "Your name is... DAC!" she whispers. "You're mine." Dac purrs contentedly, and Zoe experiences a moment of complete happiness. Half an hour later, she turns up at Dad's apartment carrying her suitcase and Dac. Lucille makes a face.
"He'll never let you keep THAT!" she says. Dad, Zoe now remembers, is very superstitious. Lucille shows Zoe her room. Every single thing in it is Barbie-pink. Zoe's room looks like a large broom-cupboard full of junk.
Dad gets home. He takes one look at Zoe and starts freaking out.
"OMG!!!" he screams. "You've CUT YOUR HAIR!!!! Why????" It's true; Zoe has asked the hairdresser to cut off her long hair, so that she'll look more like the girl she sits next to in class. Dad hates it. He tells Zoe over and over again that she's disfigured herself and now no one will want her. She should have sexy long hair like Lucille.
Zoe isn't too bothered: people have been yelling at her all her life. It's more important that she's got the same haircut as her best friend. They always go around together and have secret pet names for each other. Though what she'd most like would be if the cool skateboard boy would notice her. But he treats her like she's invisible. The only boy who pays her any attention is Fatso, a dumb kid with no social graces that everyone picks on. Zoe would kind of like a boyfriend, but she's not that desperate.
Dad has wild mood swings. He gets offered a good part in a movie and decides that Zoe is lucky. He uses his connections and takes her to see her favorite band. She gets photographed snuggling up to the lead singer. But a few days later, he's forgotten all about it. Zoe writes an essay about Dac for a competition and wins first prize from a field that includes the whole city's primary schools. She gets to read it out in front of an audience. Dad is a no-show, and so is Mom. Soon after, he says she's going back to her other apartment. Zoe heads off with Dac and her bag.
Mom's traded in the creep with the permatan. Her new boyfriend is an American sound engineer called Ricky. He's much younger than Mom and covered in tattoos. Zoe likes him at once. She wheels out her few words of English.
"Do you like... meatballs?" she asks shyly.
"I HATE THEM!!" says Ricky. "YUCK!!!"
"YUCK!!!" agrees Zoe. They both have fun putting their fingers down their throats and retching. Next day, Ricky takes Zoe to school. Surely the cute kid with the skateboard will notice? But when Zoe comes home, Ricky is kneeling at Mom's feet, weeping with his head in her lap.
"DON'T LEAVE ME!" he sobs. Mom looks unconcerned. "You can't force love," she says philosophically. "We had some good times." Ricky weeps and wails some more. It doesn't help. Soon, Mr. Permatan is back.
One day, the postman arrives with a parcel from overseas, registered delivery. It's addressed to Mom and Dad. He asks for a signature. Mom signs. Two cops burst in; the parcel is full of drugs. She's been framed, but she's been here before and doesn't lose her cool.
"This is addressed to me and my husband," she observes. "I don't even know who the sender is." The cops look uncertain until Zoe suddenly joins the conversation.
"'Course you know who he is, Mom!" she says chirpily. "Don't you remember?" It's not clear if she's doing in on purpose. The cops drag Mom off in handcuffs and also arrest Dad. It's a sensation in the gossip press. When Mom comes back, she's beside herself with rage.
"THAT'S IT! OUT!!" she screams. Zoe gets Dac and her bag. When she arrives at Dad's, he turns out to feel just the same way as Mom. Also, he's leaving on a trip. He finally agrees that Zoe can stay over the weekend. As soon as he's gone, Zoe tells the hired help that they can take the day off. Then she starts organizing a party: it helps that she's allowed to order from Dad's catering firm. She invites every kid in the class. They all say they'll come, even the cute skateboarder.
Everyone does indeed turn up. The catering firm have brought plenty of cake and soda. There are balloons everywhere. The kids start dancing. After a while, the Queen Bee says it's time to play Spin the Bottle. In this version, the boy has to hide in a dark room, then the girl goes in and they make out. She reads out the names. It's Zoe and the skateboarder!
Zoe has to close her eyes while the cute kid goes into the Sin Room. She follows. He grabs hold of her and starts kissing her passionately. "I love you," he murmurs. Then the lights come on. It's not the skateboarder at all, it's the despised Fatso. The whole thing was a setup. All the other kids stream in and get started on slutshaming Zoe. Some of them congratulate Fatso on fooling her so thoroughly.
"I really meant it when I said I love you," he says to Zoe as they drag him off, but she's not listening and no one else is either. In the middle of all this, Dad arrives home unexpectedly and finds his apartment being trashed by dozens of screaming kids. He makes one of his impulsive decisions.
"Okay, Zoe, that's it," he says. "I'm shipping you off to boarding school."
"But she's only 9," someone says uncertainly. Zoe goes out on the balcony. She has a sudden vision, rendered as a very lifelike fantasy sequence, of throwing herself off and dying, covered in blood, at the hospital. Dad and Mom, weepy and finally remorseful, arrive in time to witness her death.
On the final page, she's again en route from one apartment to the other, as usual carrying Dac and her suitcase. She faces the reader to say a few last words.
"I'm not trying to make out like I'm some kind of victim," she explains gravely. "I'm just hoping that hearing this might make you a bit nicer."
THE END
(view spoiler)[
I lied: this is a shortened version of Asia Argento's new film Incompressa ("Misunderstood"). It's not the story of Les parents de Zoe se divorcent. But it could have been.(hide spoiler)] ...more
Some authors just keep turning out the same book over and over again (Dan Brown, Ian Fleming, Iris Murdoch), while others get bored with their originaSome authors just keep turning out the same book over and over again (Dan Brown, Ian Fleming, Iris Murdoch), while others get bored with their original formula and want to try something different (Doris Lessing, Gustave Flaubert, James Joyce). Well, it would be an exaggeration to compare Dominique de Saint Mars with Flaubert, but she's no Dan Brown either. If you compare the early books with the later ones in her hundred volume children's series you see a staggering difference. This is an artist who cares about developing her talent.
The difference became very clear to me yesterday when I started reading through the stash of Ainsi va la vie that Not had found at the fleeflea market. (60 Swiss francs for 28 volumes! How's that for value!) This morning, I reviewed the brilliant Lili trouve sa maîtresse méchante, which is #57 in the series; immediately after, I read this book, which is #4. It's not bad - if it had been, I guess the later volumes would never have been written - but so disappointing when you're used to her mature work. The characters of the main players haven't properly gelled yet, and they come across as generic stereotypes. The artwork has a curiously hesitant look to it; people who have seen early Doonesbury will know what I mean.
Though even if the story is on the bland side, the punchline is okay. Lili keeps fighting with her brother (the best feature of the book is the imaginative insults). Mom keeps trying to break it up, and is particularly keen to dispell the idea that Max is her favorite. "I love you both just as much!" she almost screams. The kids aren't impressed, and they only make it up when Lili's pet turtle escapes and Max has to be persuaded to lure it out from under the fridge. They've more or less signed their peace treaty when they hear their parents in the next room. Dad's just come home, and he's yelling at Mom because she's left the headlights on AGAIN.
"Now, now," says Max, as he opens the kitchen door. "Why can't you play nice for once?"
"Yeah," says Lili, just behind him. "The important thing is, we love you both just as much!"
Okay, you saw it coming a mile away. But I'm glad her editor saw what potential she had and encouraged her to go on writing. ...more
I hadn't read an Ainsi va la vie for a few months, but Not bought a bunch of them cheap at a book stall yesterday and I'm catching up. This one has thI hadn't read an Ainsi va la vie for a few months, but Not bought a bunch of them cheap at a book stall yesterday and I'm catching up. This one has the author on top form, showing you with her usual effortless ease how a 40 page graphic novel for small children can combine insight, suspense and psychological accuracy in a character-driven narrative. How does she do it?
Lili, our young Everywoman, is having problems at school again. This time it's her teacher. Usually kind and mild-mannered, she has turned into a monster who yells at the kids for the smallest thing - sometimes even things she's imagined. Lili, a diligent and hard-working girl, is mortified when she's accused of cheating on a math test. The teacher's sure she's got the goods on her: her working was wrong but she got the right answer, so she must have copied from Marlène, who's sitting next to her?
"I didn't cheat!" says Lili. "It's not true!" Marlène backs her up. But Teacher refuses to believe either of them and then makes a gratuitous comment about chubby Marlène's obvious love of chocolate. Lili gets a black mark, and Marlène is so angry about the teacher's spiteful words that she says she'll never talk to her again. When Lili goes home and complains to her parents, they refuse to listen. "A teacher's got to maintain order in the classroom," says Mom primly, ignoring her daughter's tears.
The kids get together and discuss the problem. Some of them agree with Lili, but others aren't so sure. "They used to beat you!" says one kid. "They'd pull down your pants and smack you on the bottom. Even the girls!" Another points out that their teacher is far from being the worst one in the school. There's another who sometimes does crazy things like sticking tape over the kids' mouths when they say something he doesn't like. But one quiet boy has some genuinely useful information to contribute. "My dad knows her a bit!" he says. "It's her husband. He's, like, really sick or something."
The kids think about it. Lili remembers that Teacher told her once how she had been adopted after her own parents died when she was very young. She can suddenly see it from her perspective: she's all alone in the world, and now she's terrified that something awful is going to happen to her guy. But they still have to do something. "Look," says one kid to Lili. "Why don't you, you know, tell her that we understand, but she needs to lighten up a bit?"
"You're asking me to tell her?" asks Lili, not believing what she's hearing.
"Yeah!" says the boy. "You're good at that kind of thing! We'll give you room!"
Somehow, Lili gets stuck with this delicate diplomatic mission. The next morning, the class is deathly quiet. Teacher asks what's going on. Lili puts her hand up, and, horribly nervous, starts in on her prepared speech. She's about halfway through when a secretary comes in. "Urgent phone call for you," she says awkwardly. Teacher is out of the room in two seconds. "I'm leaving you in charge," she says to Lili as she departs. "And I don't want any trouble."
It's really not Lili's day: now she's somehow ended up responsible for a whole class of rowdy kids, who have no respect whatsoever for her new authority. Within twenty seconds, it's chaos. The crazy teacher who puts tape over the kids' mouths suddenly comes in. "You're in charge?" he says to Lili. "Tell me who was making all that noise!" Lili hesitates. "Give me their names!!" he yells, and grabs hold of her by her hair. But Lili still won't snitch on her friends.
The door opens again; it's the class's regular teacher, back from the urgent phone call. One look at her face is enough to see that it was good news. "Let go of my student at once!" she says to the psycho. She hustles him out and closes the door.
"I'm so sorry," she says, as she faces the class. "I've been having a really hard time, but it's all okay now. Can we just forget everything?"
"As long as you forget our homework assignment too!" yells the smart guy at the back of the class. Smiles all round: life has returned to normal.
Ten-year-old Lili's become hooked on Teen Idol, and it's had a deplorable effect on her character. She thinks only of fame and money, persuades her beTen-year-old Lili's become hooked on Teen Idol, and it's had a deplorable effect on her character. She thinks only of fame and money, persuades her bemused mother to buy her a new navel-revealing outfit, and reduces her boyfriend Hugo to tears with her haughty ways. And, worst of all, her usually impeccable French has become larded with vulgar anglicisms. Everything's suddenly "cool" or "sexy", and she can't stop talking about the "look" she needs for her upcoming "casting".
Luckily she gets turned down by the talent spotters, and by the end of the book she's almost back to normal - though a mild residuum of glossy magazine bitchiness is still apparent in the way she's now inseparable from the appalling Valentine, who also failed to make the cut. Girls, don't watch that show! And remember to speak proper French!...more
Lili's birthday is coming up - I'm guessing she'll be ten or possibly eleven - and she tells Mom she wants to have a party. A real party. With dimmed Lili's birthday is coming up - I'm guessing she'll be ten or possibly eleven - and she tells Mom she wants to have a party. A real party. With dimmed lights and slow dancing. Mom is horrified. Her little girl can't possibly be serious! But, as very often happens in this series, Lili gets her way.
I don't want to ruin the plot for anyone, so I'll stick to generalities: little girls, I discover now, turn into toxic bitches pretty early. My favorite moment was near the beginning. Lili is still planning the guest list, and another girl comes up to her while they're lining up for lunch.
"I am invited, aren't I?" she asks anxiously.
"Course you are, Sarah!" says Lili. "You're my third-best friend!"
Former little girls may have trouble believing this, but until today I was not aware that there was such a thing as a third-best friend. If you're as ignorant as I am and have some French, you may want to check out this interesting story. ...more
[image] Cute black chick: You coming to the library with me? Max: Gotta get some culture!
[image] CBC: You borrow a lot of books! Max: Yeah... fourth time [image] Cute black chick: You coming to the library with me? Max: Gotta get some culture!
[image] CBC: You borrow a lot of books! Max: Yeah... fourth time this month!
[image] Librarian: Look, this is the fourth time you've checked out this book? Don't you want something else? Max: Um... er... no, I haven't... finished it. Cartoon heart: Crunch! ...more
Max and Lili are hanging out one day at home when they overhear their mother talking with someone on the phone.
"Oh, I know!" says Mom. "Adoption's noMax and Lili are hanging out one day at home when they overhear their mother talking with someone on the phone.
"Oh, I know!" says Mom. "Adoption's not easy! But it's so incredible when the paperwork finally goes through! A real present from life!"
Then she realizes the kids are listening and closes the door. Lili's imagination goes into overdrive.
"OMG Max!" she says. "We're adopted! And they never told us!"
"Not me!" says Max. "I look just like Grandma. But I bet they found you in a dumpster."
Lili gets even more worried and starts seeing signs everywhere. Mom sounded kinda weird when she came up to say goodnight. And she forgot Max's name next morning and called him "Paul". That must mean something, right?
Fortunately, Lili's a practical girl with good networking skills. At recess, she goes over to Nina, who's known to be adopted, and asks for the skinny. Nina's happy to oblige. She explains how her real mom was some woman in Poland who gave her up for adoption as soon as she was born. She was too young to be able to look after her. Then Nina's parents-to-be turned up, and Nina tells Lili exactly how it worked out.
"The first day, they just looked at me. The second day, they got to pick me up and hold me. The third day, they gave me a bath and I started to smile at them. And the fourth day, I held out my arms when they arrived!"
"WOW!!" says Lili. "So you adopted them! It's incredible!! A real love story!!!"
She suddenly feels so much better about things. Particularly after she learns that Teacher was also adopted.
When the kids get home, there's an unexpected development. Aunt Claire's come over for dinner, and it rapidly turns out that the kids have misunderstood the phone call. She's the one who's going to adopt a child, and Mom was just congratulating her.
"So I'm not adopted then?" says Lili.
"Of course not!" says Mom, surprised. But Lili's overromanticized the idea so much that she can't let go of it.
"You love me as much as you would have if I had been adopted?" she asks anxiously.
We tend to forget that everything we do in the adult world, seven year olds also do on a smaller scale. (I think this is the basic message of films liWe tend to forget that everything we do in the adult world, seven year olds also do on a smaller scale. (I think this is the basic message of films like The Rescuers and Basil the Great Mouse Detective). Having read several dozen books in this great series, I was thoroughly used to the idea that third graders' lives are filled with sex, violence, angst, heartbreak and money problems, but somehow it hadn't occurred to me that politics had to be in there too. Surely these kids were too small for wheelin' and dealin'?
Dream on, Manny. Teacher says that they're going to have to choose two class delegates for the next school board meeting, and by early afternoon the election is in full swing. Max is lucky enough to have a good campaign manager - big sister Lili, who else? - and her well-crafted poster carries the day. During the following week, Max learns that power is an aphrodisiac (Juliette can barely keep her hands off him), power distances you from other people (Jérome and the other guys rapidly decide he's turned into a complete dickhead), and power involves agonizing responsibility (there are so many tricky moral angles involved in deciding whether or not to tattle). Things don't look good for our young hero.
But Max is born lucky, and it all works out. He and Fathia turn up at the big meeting with an outrageous list of demands, which are politely refused. However, Max has negotiating skills - common in younger siblings - and he can think on his feet. He manages to score a good compromise deal on upgrading the soccer pitch, which ends up pleasing everyone. Even his parents, when news gets back to them about his diplomatic triumph.
Max is walking on air! At least until Dad winces at the horrible noise coming from the next door garden. "Can't you go and tell them to keep it down a bit, Max?" he asks. "You're good at that kind of thing..." ...more
If you have some kind of rosy-spectacled view of kids as sweet, angelic little creatures, this series will soon remind you how they really are. As KurIf you have some kind of rosy-spectacled view of kids as sweet, angelic little creatures, this series will soon remind you how they really are. As Kurt Vonnegut so perceptively said, children are the cruelest, most selfish people in the world, except for adults. Here, Max screws up one day, and everyone in the class suddenly turns against him. They are indeed horrible, and if you're wondering how anyone could go into a school and shoot 20 children, Dominique de Saint-Mars will rapidly make it more comprehensible. At the end of just one day of bullying, Max, a pretty normal kid who's generally full of confidence, is a quivering wreck. Imagine what it might be like if you're already a bit weird and unstable, you have no supporting family (Max's big sister Lili's got his back as usual), and it goes on for years. Very easy to see how that could tip some unlucky person over the edge.
The only thing I can say against the book is that it isn't as good as the truly terrifying Lili est harcelée à l'école. Saint-Mars cares passionately about the issue of bullying, and it looks to me like she wasn't satisfied with this one; she wanted to get it right, and in the later book she nailed it. But this one is well worth it if you want to increase your French taunting vocabulary: you'll rapidly learn how call someone a nul, a ringard, an haleine de phoque, a poule mouillée, or a nain. If you're willing to take the trouble, you might even feel like learning this little poem:
Et toi, toi en face, t'as pas vu la tête que t'as tu fais peur a Dracula, pif, peuf, tête de boeuf, va te faire cuire un oeuf!
But the very worst thing you can call someone, the thing that really hurts, is S.A. - for sans amis, kid with no friends. They keep calling Max an S.A., and it's shocking to see how effective it is. Adam Lanza didn't seem to have had any friends. I wonder if he was called an S.A., or its American equivalent. ...more
The five stars are for the series as a whole, which is vraiment THE 100TH AINSI VA LA VIE IS NOW OUT.
FÉLICITATIONS, DOMINIQUE DE SAINT-MARS!!!
[image]
The five stars are for the series as a whole, which is vraiment magnifique. ____________________________
I suppose I should say something about #100. Unfortunately, it's not one of the very best ones, though it's perfectly okay. Max and Lili are once again bitchin' and moanin' about how tough life is as a French primary school kid. You have to work your butt off preparing for tests, other kids are mean and snotty, and then you get home and the rents make you do chores. If only you could just say a magic word and fix it all immediately!
Lili's been philosophizing along these lines, and then discovers to her amazement that her wish has come true. She can just say a magic word and get what she wants! She hasn't done her homework, but when she's put on the spot and asked to recite her poem, the bell rings! Valentine is being nasty as usual, but when Lili wishes that something would put her in her place her pants split, revealing her underwear! A few minutes later, Max and Lili discover that they can fly!
They start using their magic powers all over the place. By evening, Dad's won the big prize on Powerball. He takes them out to dinner at a swanky restaurant and tells them he's bought a huge chateau with a butler. And he's going to go off on a round-the-world cruise with Mom... they never had a real honeymoon.
"But who's going to take care of us?" asks Lili, hurt. Dad's fixed a babysitter, but it's hard to feel very enthusiastic. Even if Lili was the person who wished that he'd win.
Before the kids know what's happened, they're living in a huge, desolate house, being looked after by servants they don't even know. They're miserable. Lili wishes that they didn't have any magic powers after all, and, thank goodness! they wake up and it was all a dream. They understand that you only feel really happy for things you've worked to get.
Okay... a bit preachy, but it also reminded me a little of E. Nesbit's The Enchanted Castle, probably my all-time favorite children's story. I wonder if Saint-Mars knows the book? And, more to the point, I also wonder if it's the end of Ainsi va la vie? If this is her final message to her millions of loyal fans, she hasn't picked a bad one. ____________________________
[image]
Awww! Goodreads Recommendations Engine, why didn't you tell me that you're another Dominique de Saint-Mars fan? I take back every mean thing I've ever said about you....more
Unlike his big sister Lili, who's a serious, reflective girl, Max is frivolous. He's always goofing around when he should be working. He gets bored whUnlike his big sister Lili, who's a serious, reflective girl, Max is frivolous. He's always goofing around when he should be working. He gets bored when no one will play with him. His parents feel kind of worried, but most of the time they just have to give in to his charm. My first reaction was that this wasn't one of the best episodes in the series, but then realisation dawned: shit, this is me! I don't take life seriously enough either. Even though it's far from being all bad - the book makes this clear - you can have too much of anything.
Damn you, Dominique de Saint-Mars, and your two female projections in the books! I feel just like Max after he's been given his regular dose of free psychoanalysis by Mom and Sis. Girls. Bloody girls. Sometimes they're too smart and insightful for their own good.
Well, I suppose I'd better get back to work, that is if I can't find a way to waste more time playing with my Internet friends... ...more
Not one of the best ones - the story is rather flat - but a scary message. Max, about 9, has serious problems. He can't control his video game habit aNot one of the best ones - the story is rather flat - but a scary message. Max, about 9, has serious problems. He can't control his video game habit and it's interfering with his ability to do his schoolwork. His parents are worried. He only just passed last year. Maybe he'll flunk this time?
Max knows his career is on the line; maybe his relationship too, since it's repeatedly made clear in the series that girls prefer boys who get decent grades. (Doesn't anyone like sexy losers any more? Even at primary school?) Max thinks carefully about it. It's not like he lacks ability to concentrate. When they went on vacation, he taught himself to windsurf even though it was hard. Can spelling be so much harder? But he just has to stop spending all his time playing video games. It's ruining his life.
There are other kids with similar issues, and they set up a self-help group which might as well have been called Video Gamers Anonymous. I'm surprised they don't have a twelve-point program. It works fairly well, though Max's parents have no idea what's going on and give him zero support. Luckily, big sister Lili is there for him when it counts.
Bloody hell. All the books in the series are supposed to be based on interviews with real French children and reflect common concerns. Things surely weren't this bad when I was 9. ...more
Loading...
