I started off liking this a lot more than I ended up. Initially despite the illogical stuff around the "bitch boss" being actually really nice and eveI started off liking this a lot more than I ended up. Initially despite the illogical stuff around the "bitch boss" being actually really nice and even somewhat vulnerable this seemed like ridiculously sweet escapism and exactly what I needed. I often get irritated by kids in books (though I acknowledge they are hard to write) but this was on the good side of it with Livvie in the picture only some of the time and making an excuse for the two of them to meet up, rather than just an accessory. There was also obvious conflict in the shape of her grandfather who Elena also knew. All in all things were going well for me.
The sex was not completely my cup of tea, the power-game thing...but it was done well with very obvious consent and care built into what was clearly a game. So I chalked that up to "not everyone writes specifically for me" but I have to admit I was loving the sweet story more than the racy parts. At one point Maya speculates that Elena acts overy sexualised as a coping mechanism because she has never been allowed to be vulnerable and has got used to rejection. I thought the psychology of that was interesting and plausible.
I liked that Elena had CP and that Maya's best friend was non-binary (but I was puzzled that at one point in the book a woman was described as "like Winling" which seeemed to be erasing Winling's gender a bit...but I figured imperfect representation is still something and authors get my admiration for trying to write outside their comfort zone. I had mixed feelings about Elena being quite so sexy and high-achieving (disabled people who don't have movie-star good looks or mansions are also valid) but still...her condition and the impact of that on her dating (but not her desirability) was awesome and there is a real need not to erase the fact that disabled people can fuck (I heard that from a disabled speaker it's not something I had considered so much myself). Elena being Latina was mentioned twice but did not really affect anything so it seemed to be just becoming a box-ticking activity (query around Winling for this too). While I didn't like the powerplay from a personal perspective I also thought it was good to see a femme topping a butch.
Where it really lost me started with the date being interrupted by Elena's mum. Elena, a successful, driven and uncompromising businesswoman in her mid-to-late 30s who says her parents have never treated her as disabled but always expected the same from her as her sister suddenly acts like a 17 year old who has been told off. She rudely dismisses Maya because her Mummy assumes she will. I found that a stretch too far and it kind of ruined the Elena character. Maya seemed not to see it that way, she was disappointed but not outraged.
This was compounded later by the event where Elena lets her mum choose a date for her (someone she already has an unsuccessful history with) and when Maya is cross Winling and Alicia are not even sympathetic. Alicia even says "We know Elena's life is pretty different than ours, and her family are probably really strict or something". The predictable happens, Maya goes to the party and behaves immaturely. Elena sees her drunk and clearly acting out her insecurity and toys with her before throwing ridiculous accusation at her. At that point I almost stopped reading.
The boss-employee power differential comes to the fore here (I guess it was always unethical but in a romance novel the reader generally lets herself be distracted from that) and Maya narrowly escapes losing her job. Elena says something to her lawyer who also lays into her (inappropriate much?) There's a real lack of any sort of boundaries in this book which I found a bit unpalatable. Maya is bad because Elena was considering parenting her child with her (fast work?) nevermind the fact that Elena is still immature enough to date whoever mummy says. We're not talking about dependence either- the woman has a mansion and bucketloads of money!
I wasn't liking it then but I hoped that episode would pass. I was already a bit grossed out both by Livvie's conception (an older guy who had been her teacher didn't check for consent but it's not his fault because she didn't fight him off) and by Kevin (who at least is presented ultimately as a bad guy). Now suddenly Maya is mugged for her phone and the guy also sexually assaults her. I frankly found that triggering to read but it doesn't mean writers can't write about it of course, only I probably would not have read the book had I known.
Elena comes around, initially to check that Maya is ok but then EMOTIONALLY ABUSES her when she is still in pieces from the assault. Then she dominates her and there's a scene where she grabs her breast which seems too soon after the mugger did the same thing. All in all I feel the literal assault is passed over as if it is no big deal which is kinda gaslighty. So that part I had a major issue with.
After this they get back together again and it's sweet again but I wasn't feeling it. I am seeing the parenting books shoved in the bin and seeing lack of boundaries and big over-reactions. Robin is horrible to Maya and I like how Maya handled it. Elena says it's "immature" but sympathetically, it seems less immature than some of the other stuff in the novel and also very satisfying. I would have liked a comparable scene with Robert to be honest.
The court case is an anticlimax of slow, vague movement toward the predictable and then the bad guy becomes their friend. I would have liked some detail, some twist there considering it's such a big part of the plot and then just suddenly dissolves into nothing. The epilogue is sweet and politically sound and probably necessary, especially if most readers are in the US where two mothers is possibly still more of a big deal but there's so much consumption- parenting is constructed as having enough money for the best schools and the best pre-k and the big room with the child choosing the paint. I preferred the beginning where it was about drawing in a notebook or playing teatime.
Anyway I did enjoy the sweet parts for over half of the book, as I said one of the sex scenes was well written and I appreciated both a non-binary character and a disabled protagonist. I also have some respect for anyone who wrestles with They/Them pronouns so props to L E Royal for that. Younger, less cranky readers than me (who have not lived through a sexual assault) might enjoy it better than I did....more
Loading...
