WARNING-- This review contains spoilers of books 1-2.
I assume that I read this crap on Wattpad, because a friend of mine had recommended it to me, andWARNING-- This review contains spoilers of books 1-2.
I assume that I read this crap on Wattpad, because a friend of mine had recommended it to me, and I was also curious because of the huge success that this "book" (how am I supposed to call it book? This is not a freaking book, this is a joke) got. God, I'm so freaking glad I didn't contribute to fill Anna Todd's pockets. But let's get right to the point of all of this. Essentially, this "book" is about a stupid, masochist, fickle girl called Tessa, which basically discovers the joys of oral sex with a stalker guy called HARDIN. Now, let's focus on this: WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NAME IS HARDIN? So, since I can’t write this “name” without getting hives, for a question of convenience, we’ll call him Hard (if you know what I mean ;).
Although written in a very shitty elementary way, in the beginning it looked like a normal New Adult we’re used to: Tessa, naïve girl at her first year of college, meets Hard, tattooed rebel guy who captures her heart and overturns all of her certitudes. The two of them are not meant to be, but they manage to face the entire world to pander their desire to be together. Till here, everything normal. Mh. What a shame that their relationship immediately turns into a whirl of desire and obsession that seems to be dragging them to a parallel universe where love and scorn go hand in hand. Their love blossoms on the edge of insults and heavy offences, humiliations and rude and sordid sexual approaches. While Tessa regresses, forgetting good manners and turning into a nymphomaniac fond of foul language between the sheets, Hard keeps playing with her. Everything between them develops in a very realistic way, it is in fact totally normal that two guys with poor intellectual skills, without the hint of a rank and without the least talent outside the bedroom get amazing job offers in the editorial field (are you laughing?? Because I am). But the worst was the final. After putting up with their fast and loose, dramas, hysterical tears and different kinds of bollocks, we witness the bewildering revelation: IT WAS A BET. Hard bet with his friends that he could grab her virginity and bring them evidences, that is, he collects the sheets stained with Tessa’s blood and shows them to his friends. … JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Do you realize how twisted and sadist and creepy this boy is??? GOD. And there’s more, because in the second book, after they return together (YOU GO, TESSA, FIFTY YEARS OF FEMINISM THROWN IN THE TOILET) we discover that he has done something WAAY worse than the bet: when he was in England, he used to shoot himself while having sex with unaware girls. HE IS A R A P I S T. HE IS A RAPIST. OKAY? OKAY. But don’t worry, because she will forgive him even this time, duh. Other thing, Hard shows his love to her by humiliating her, mocking her, and psychologically bullying her. But it’s fine, because he blandishes her every time by giving her some expensive presents and the most intoxicant sexual performance she’ll ever have. Oh, and by telling her “I love you” fifty times a day, duh. What’s love, if it isn’t saying “I love you”? I don’t understand how it’s even possible that there are three other books of this bunch of bollocks and how could people ask for more of it- every time I think there’s gonna be a movie about it, I loose my trust in humanity.
Last but not least: Hard gives a bracelet that says “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same”. So now every time I enter my freaking Tumblr I always bump into posts with this quote and then, hashtag #after #hessa. Mh. ER, HEY DICKHEADS, THIS IS A QUOTE FROM WUTHERING HEIGHTS, NOT FROM THIS SHOVELFUL OF SHIT ON A WHITE WALL. OK????? OK. Wtf does “After” mean, anyway? Whatever, bullshit. After...more
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