After reading far too many "romances" with crazy-ass new alphas, I bought Ruined by Rumor on a whim. When BAVR gets depressed about the state3.5 stars
After reading far too many "romances" with crazy-ass new alphas, I bought Ruined by Rumor on a whim. When BAVR gets depressed about the state of the romance genre, she needs a good beta to bring it all back into perspective. Yes, you read it here: BAVR loves beta heroes. They're sweet, sexy, usually have some deep-seated angst that they try to ignore, and most importantly, they don't act like raging lunatics.
So call this my Great Beta Cleanse of 2013. I will be reading more to wash the yuck of REAL out of my mind because Ruined by Rumor and its adorable beta made for a pleasant, cozy surprise.
It isn't perfect, but no formulaic Regency romance is. It has a classy spirit, though. The sex is romantic, not gag-me explicit. The romance is slow-building, not unbelievably instant. Alex, Earl of Ayersley, has been in love with Roxana Langley, his best friend's sister, for years. Unfortunately, when he first intended to court her, he was too awkward and shy to make a move before the dashing (read: douchebagguette) George Wyatt swooped in and proposed to her. George joins the cavalry and leaves Roxana for FIVE YEARS, and for all that time she pines after him and quietly resents Alex because Wyatt once told her the earl thought she was silly or whatever.
When Wyatt returns, Roxana is excited to finally marry her true love. Then the douchebaguette jilts her, and Alex attempts to comfort her. Naturally, a beta's form of "comfort" is to kiss the girl like a starved lip ninja, and Roxana is promptly ruined because the people who accidentally spied them thought he was humping her.
Thus begins Alex and Roxana's marriage of convenience. But it isn't really that for him because he secretly loves her. Roxana, on the other hand, is plagued with guilt because she thinks he's marrying a woman he doesn't like in order to do the honorable thing. And she's still mourning her relationship with George, who keeps showing up and casting doubts on her confusing marriage.
At times, I wished I was a time-traveling assassin who could shoot George in the face and come back to 2013 like nothing had happened.
It's a good thing Roxana and Alex are so attracted to each other, or the marriage really could have been a disaster.
Roxana remains a little too willfully blind to George's manipulation for my taste, but she makes up for that by genuinely trying to make things work with Alex. The earl, on the other hand, tries not to smother Roxana with his overwhelming love, leaving her to think he doesn't care. While I usually hate Misunderstanding Plots, Alex and Roxana are likable enough to make it entertaining.
The whole book, I was waiting for Alex to have a meltdown - a spectacular, irrational meltdown that would bring his character to another level. He DOES. And it's FABULOUS. >:D
So, yes, while Ruined by Rumor is formulaic, and actually a little old-fashioned, Everett has a charming, competent way with prose that makes reading very easy and enjoyable. As romances go, this is a refreshing change from the dirtied-up style everyone else is going for at the moment. I'm actually excited to pick up another one of her books for future brain cleanses....more
"Devon, when I came up from the engine room and saw (view spoiler)[Sharpe's gun pointed at your neck (hide spoiler)]..."
She gazed solemnly in3.5 Stars
"Devon, when I came up from the engine room and saw (view spoiler)[Sharpe's gun pointed at your neck (hide spoiler)]..."
She gazed solemnly into his eyes. "Did you know I was making my last wish?"
Cole thought about it and remembered her lips moving in fervent prayer. Gently he asked, "Will you tell me what you wished for?"
Devon took a deep breath and gave him a trembling smile. "I was begging God not to send me to heaven if I died."
He stared at her in silent confusion. "Why?"
Her smile wavered as tears once again flooded her eyes. "Because I knew that couldn't possibly be where He'd have sent you."
Maybe I read too much crap. Okay, strike the "maybe". I definitely read too much crap. It's been so long since I've read a romance with action, plot, and likable characters that Captured caught me off-guard. I genuinely enjoyed this book. It mixes the best of the new and old schools of romance: slow-building romance, love/hate quip-offs, complex characters, and passionate love scenes that actually build the story. I know, right? Sex for a reason. It's revolutionary.
Captured tells the story - yes, an actual story with an actual plot (I'm amazed by the little things these days) - of Devon Blake, a thief and con artist, and Union Captain Cole McRae. Cole meets Devon when the Union orders him to escort her to a Washington prison. He's totally into this, not because she's hot, but because she's the convicted murderess who works for the British douche who killed pretty much his whole ship. But don't clutch your pearls, ladies. Devon didn't kill anyone, and she doesn't work for the British douche. Nonetheless, she's still a thieving scamp and therefore hard to believe when she claims her innocence. Cole and Devon journey through the wilds of Virginia with Cole acting like a vengeful bastard and Devon trying to escape at every turn. However, the more Cole gets to know Devon, the less he believes that she's capable of murder. Also: they make the sex so good together.
Who will win in this battle of wits? Can people fall in love while avoiding having their faces shot off by Rebels? Will Cole ever have revenge on the British douche? Captivating stuff all around, friends.
Cole and Devon are fun characters. They push each other's buttons, and I like couples who can do that and remain honest. Devon's very clever and leads Cole on a merry chase for half of the book, averting him at every opportunity. To be fair, Cole knows how to give as good as he gets, too:
"I can only assume that you are out of ammunition, McRae."
He frowned. "Why would you think that?"
"I can't imagine what else would have prevented you from shooting an unarmed, defenseless woman in the back. Certainly not your high moral standards or your righteous code of honor, as you appear to be deplorably lacking on both counts." Having scored her point, she turned her attention away from him and busied herself with brushing clusters of grass and leaves from her skirt. A shot rang out directly above her head. Devon shrieked and whirled about, staring at her captor with wide-eyed fear.
Cole simply raised his brows and cocked his head toward the smoking revolver in his hand. "What do you know about that," he said. "Looks like it was loaded after all."
Both characters have their own complicated and tragic pasts. They actually drummed up my sympathy, which is a feat because raptors find it very hard to relate to human problems. Devon was abandoned in her youth in one of those "Wait here, darlin', and I'll be right back!" scenarios, and Cole watched his crew and (view spoiler)[his nephew (hide spoiler)] die violently in the war. I was entertained by the process in which Cole and Devon warmed up to each other and took difficult steps to heal their past wounds.
So why only 3.5 stars? Well, I adored the first half of the story, but the second half wasn't quite as strong. I enjoyed reading about Devon making Cole's "simple" mission a living hell more than flipping through pages of ship antics in the second half. The nautical stuff was well-researched, but I got kind of glassy-eyed during the blockade running portions. Devon's Uncle Monty totally saved the second half of the book for me. A wily old con artist who dressed in all plaid suits all the time and schemed people out of money with a smile, Uncle Monty was a good time. I don't care if he's old, often amoral, and probably not romance hero material. Give this man a book!
The other thing that bothered me about the second half of the book is that Devon loses her spark. All she does is whine and mope over her confusing relationship with Cole. I really preferred Devon the pick-pocket to Devon the love-struck fool. Love makes us stupid, y'all.
Despite the flaws, I'm anxious to read another Victoria Lynne book. She kept me interested and engaged my emotions. So, YAY! BAVR likes a book! >:D...more
For entertainment value alone, this book could have earned 5 stars from my grumpy, grubby talons. I never got bored. Shit just happens all ov3.5 stars
For entertainment value alone, this book could have earned 5 stars from my grumpy, grubby talons. I never got bored. Shit just happens all over the place in The Officer and the Proper Lady. Most authors would gravitate toward just one of the three avenues Allen explored in the text, and that's the problem with romance today. They think we can't concentrate on more than one thing at a time. Sure, that's true 97% of the time. Like, as I write this review, I lose my place every time a car drives by the building. But seriously, I'm so flattered that Louise Allen thinks I can be teh smartz. Also, some of the conflicts are fucking HILARIOUS.
Unfortunately, most of the conflicts are fucking hilarious because of inconsistent characterizations. I can deal with irrational characters behaving irrationally, but when an otherwise sensible person does something so goddamn DUMB that my brain weeps its own brain cells into my sinus cavity, I chisel away at the stars. This teh smartz thing works both ways, fictional characters! Add to that a sluggish final 1/3 of story and some major Kindle formatting issues. Words kept breaking apart or being forced together, so I spent a lot of time translating sentences that should have been easy. At one point, Hal refers to himself as a "cockscomb", but the formatting made it read "cock scomb", and I laughed and laughed because I thought Allen had misspelled "scum" or something. Because what kind of man calls himself cock scum, right?
Oh, the stories I tell ...
Anyway, let's get to this grand, one-of-a-kind ... Harlequin Historical #1020.
The Story
An Officer meets a Proper Lady in Brussels in the days leading up to Waterloo. He's a rake, and she's a ... well, she's a proper lady. They try to stay away from each other because she's in desperate financial straits and needs a husband. Just being seen with him can destroy her reputation, but their passion burns too strong. Can their tenuous relationship survive the ravages of war? Will Wellington defeat Napolean? (view spoiler)[He does. (hide spoiler)] Most importantly, can the officer tup his virgin miss without acting like a dwamatic wittle bitch about it? (view spoiler)[He can't! (hide spoiler)]
The Officer
Major Hal Carlow is the second son of an earl and a dissolute rake. An outrageous flirt, Hal enjoys sexing up the ladies. Unless those ladies are virgins, in which case, Hal runs like the hounds of hell are on his heels. Naturally, his horse is the biggest, most fabulous-est horse in the British cavalry. And if the descriptions of his super-tight pants are to be believed, then he also has the biggest, most fabulous-est (view spoiler)[cockscumb (hide spoiler)] in all of Brussels.
I liked Hal. He's a fun guy who enjoys drinking, gambling, and sleeping with married women without too much wangst. He lives a soldier's life and maintains a soldier's mentality. It isn't until Hal tries to "reform" for his proper little miss that his character starts to derail. He explains the change away as trying to be "worthy" of her. This leads to his laughable "What the hell do I do with a virgin?" hang-ups. Did he really think that using his rakish tricks in bed would give her pause? As a "proper lady", she has no point of comparison! Hal, this opportunity is golden. Stop crying!
The Proper Lady
Miss Julia Tresilian is set on finding a proper, staid husband to secure her mother and her younger brother for the future. She's pretty, but not too pretty, and she's hot in the knickers for Hal Carlow. For a so-called proper lady, Julia rarely acts particularly proper. Sure, she isn't riding bareback through the park with her breasts exposed or anything, but any time she's given the choice between ignoring temptation and embracing it, she wraps her arms around that devil so tightly that air can't get between them.
Julia is also a fucking dimwit. TSTL to the max! When Napolean's troops cross the Belgian border and everyone else in Brussels is getting the fuck out, what does Julia - a girl who has never done ANYTHING that would make her handy in a crisis - do? She tricks her mother and stays behind, of course! Because that's obviously the most SENSIBLE and PROPER thing to do! Now, I'm not from the early-19th century, but I can guarantee you that if there was even an off-chance that Napolean would charge into my town and blow my house down, I would run like the fucking wind. For the love of god, Julia! She can't keep "an eye out" on Hal if she ends up dead or displaced. Has this woman never heard of collateral damage or war refugees? Dumb. Just so dumb.
Later back in England, Hal and EVERYBODY ELSE tells Julia, "Hey, there's a gypsy bent on revenge against our inner circle who sometimes kidnaps our ladies and keeps trying to ruin our lives. Stay away from him." But Julia, Queen of TSTL Mountain, decides to take YEARS of grudges and politics between PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT HER into her own hands and approaches the vengeful gypsy ALONE IN HIS HOUSE to "work something out". Such a dumbass. Granted, Julia is a lucky woman. Staying in Brussels (view spoiler)[puts her in the position to save Hal's life (hide spoiler)]. Going to the vengeful gypsy's house (view spoiler)[does not, in fact, result in gypsy rape and murder, although she very nearly gets Hal killed when he shows up to rescue her (hide spoiler)].
Yes, there's a Mysterious, Vengeful Gypsy in this story.
He's apparently been around for several of these Harlequin Historicals, and nothing - NOT EVEN WAR - can stop him from using his trickery against Hal's family. I'm not convinced that the gypsy's all bad, to be honest. I imagine he'll get his own book eventually, and the author will go to great lengths to describe how he's just misunderstood.
Julia Acquires a Groom with Knowledge about MODERN MEDICINE.
There's a hilarious scene in which Hal's dying of battle wounds, and Julia's newly acquired groom is just like, "I'll just stitch him up like I stitch up my horses." And then, OF COURSE, he keeps a clean environment because he learned that "just works better" with his horses. Also, he douses the wounds in alcohol just 'cause. My favorite part by far was when the groom scrubbed Hal's wounds with saltwater, apparently because he takes the horses out for rounds of aquatic water therapy. This can only bring me to one of 2 logical conclusions - A) Julia's groom is a time traveler, or B) Hal is a horse. You decide.
BUT I LIKED IT!
Despite Hal's virgin phobia and Julia's mouse brain, I genuinely enjoyed this book. The romance is very well done. It's easy to believe Hal and Julia's chemistry from beginning to end. My favorite part by far was chronicled in the days leading up to Waterloo. There was something very unsettling about following these people going to parties and balls, joking around in the park, and living rather ordinary lives just days before a huge battle. I couldn't help but read some of the descriptions of military characters and think, "Wow, he'll probably be dead soon." I loved reading about Brussels in that particular time, and it's clear that Allen did her research.
So sure, 3.5 stars to you, The Officer and the Proper Lady. The story isn't perfect, but I was certainly entertained!
Puzzling fact: This is the first Christmas romance I've read. This is puzzling because I LOVE Christmas. I'm the type of jolly elf who makes hot cocoaPuzzling fact: This is the first Christmas romance I've read. This is puzzling because I LOVE Christmas. I'm the type of jolly elf who makes hot cocoa and starts decorating the house the moment Hallmark Channel begins to air their cycle of Christmas movies. I take this shit seriously, is all. Consequently, even though A Visit from Sir Nicholas wasn't exactly gripping fiction, I tore through it like Buddy the Elf hopped up on candy canes. Because CHRISTMAS, you guys!
And the best part of all? Back in good 'ol 2004, Avon included a CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT in the paperback. Yes, I received a gift, and it isn't even Christmas yet. I don't care if Santa Ornament has all the durability of a cheap paper doll. It's still a Christmas gift and therefore awesome.
But let's get to the story. There isn't really much to tell, so this should be quick.
The Plot of A Visit from Sir Nicholas in 15 Words Widow finally hooks up with guy she should have married ten years ago and CHRISTMAS!!!!
Alexander uses A Christmas Carol to enhance the story. I suppose it worked a little, although none of the characters even remotely resembled Scrooge or any of the other memorable characters. You could argue that Nick's abandonment of Elizabeth at the beginning of the story (one of those "I love you too much to let you be with horrible 'ol me" moves) is reminiscent of Scrooge leaving his sweetheart as a young man, but that's still a bit of a stretch.
Basically, this story revolves around Nicholas and Elizabeth completely failing at feelings (and expressing them) and then desperately trying to get back to each other despite the fact that no hurdles whatsoever encumber their attempts. Ten years ago (Christmas PAST), Nicholas was an ambitious young man who, despite being the heir to a wealthy earldom, wanted to make his own fortune because his dead dad was really bad with the bills or something. Unfortunately, while Nick was preparing to make his journey to America (where apparently ANYONE can get rich if they just BELIEVE enough), he fell in love with family friend Elizabeth, who was all but engaged to his friend Charles. At a Christmas ball, Elizabeth pretty much throws herself at Nicholas, but he's all like, "No! Charles is so much better for you. I'm not worthy." So Elizabeth ... takes him at his word and marries Charles. Ha! These are the kinds of brains we're working with in this story, friends.
Alexander fast-forwards to Christmas PRESENT. Elizabeth is now a widow, and she has two surprisingly not-annoying sons. It turns out that Charles, who ended up being a bit of a cheater, left the control of his fortune and assets for his family to none other than super successful businessman Nicholas. No one ever finds out why Charles did this, by the way. Elizabeth's brother, a marquess, doesn't bother to tell Elizabeth OR Nicholas about this little technicality until three years after Charles's death, at which point Elizabeth throws a hissy fit and Nicholas decides, "Hmmm. I think it's time to bag me the lady I should have married ten years ago."
There's a lot of talk of "grand passion," and Nick and Lizzie make a sweet enough couple. Since this is a romance novel, though, the two of them make something as simple as hooking up with a soulmate more difficult than fitting a square peg through a round hole. This is one of those stories in which nothing much happens aside from the H and h talking with each other about their feelings and two or three secondary characters talking with the H and h about their feelings. The Christmas spirit energized me until the final 1/5 of the book when I just couldn't stand the conversation and forced angst any longer. The plot started to resemble Christmas dinner leftovers after being left in the fridge for a week. Nobody really wants to eat that, but when one is *ahem* desperate enough to keep up the spirit, there's always SOMETHING else that can be prepared from the remaining scraps of turkey.
Overall, A Visit from Sir Nicholas is an average read. Nice characters, some fun Christmas nostalgia, a pleasant yet uninspiring romance. I just wish something more exciting had happened. ...more
Apparently, all it takes is a mistress with rough sexual appetites and an ex-military hero without all the woobie rake angst to squeeze 5 stars from mApparently, all it takes is a mistress with rough sexual appetites and an ex-military hero without all the woobie rake angst to squeeze 5 stars from my cold, dead hands. Granted, A Gentleman Undone is barely a literary masterpiece, but it ranks worlds above the rest of the regency crap I've been reading lately. If more authors would write like Cecilia Grant, then maybe I wouldn't bitch so much about the tepid quality of historical romance these days.
SUMMARY: When Will Blackshear (former lieutenant) returns to London after experiencing the nightmare of Waterloo, he has no intentions of getting involved with any ladies. A man of modest means and the youngest son in the Blackshear family, Will has decided to spend his military commission on a business venture to help the widow of one of his deceased subordinates from the war. He can't afford much more than his tiny bachelor lodgings, so there's no way he can afford a mistress. Even if he can't stop thinking about some other dude's mistress he keeps encountering at a gaming hall. Lydia Slaughter, former prostitute at some anything-goes House of Horrors (Whores) and current mistress to a wealthy gentleman who can also perform mighty well in bed, is content with her circumstances at the moment. Sure, she doesn't want to be a mistress forever, but her current protector has the good sense to take her to gaming halls and falls asleep so she can take part in some gambling. Lydia has a very mathematical mind, so she ends up as something of a 19th-century card counter. At first, Will and Lydia start up a tentative friendship to achieve a common goal. He needs money and doesn't understand that odds trump luck. She needs money and understands the importance of odds but can't gamble high stakes because she's a woman. They team up in order to make a killing at vingt-et-un, no hanky-panky allowed.
But please. This is a romance. You know the hanky-panky's just around the corner. Can a man without the means to provide for a wife or mistress win the heart of a distant woman who only wants her independence?
Lydia is an amazing character. She was raised among the gentry, but her ruination and the deaths of her remaining family members thrust her into desperate straits. So Lydia becomes a prostitute and remarkably never bitches about it. She sees the world through a very logical lens, so she considers her current profession a means to an end. All Lydia desires is a quiet life with a little home that she can afford to keep. Fortunately for Lydia, being a mistress doesn't bother her too much because she genuinely enjoys sex. I know! The absence of slut-shaming! It's a miracle! Her biggest problem with being a "kept woman" stems from having to cater to her protector's beck and call all the time. It was very refreshing to read about a heroine who didn't leave her reasoning skills at the door (or lose them along with her goddamn maidenhead). Women are so rarely portrayed in these stories as rational characters, so Lydia's a bit of a treasure to me.
Will's definitely my type of hero. He's a bit beta yet incredibly sexy. The war really messed him up emotionally. Don't read this spoiler if you plan to read the book!(view spoiler)[After the carnage of Waterloo, Will moved one of his men when the medics ignored the poor guy. Unfortunately, this guy also had a spinal injury, so moving him pretty much sealed his death certificate. When Will couldn't get him into a hospital where a physician could give him something for the pain, he mercy-killed the poor fellow so he wouldn't suffer. That haunts Will throughout the story and drives his motivation to help the fallen soldier's widow into a comfortable life. (hide spoiler)] So aside from the requisite tortured soul stuff, Will's a pretty honorable guy. He resists coming onto Lydia because he doesn't want to step on her protector's toes. I liked that Will didn't have the entire world at his fingertips. He isn't wealthy, probably never will be wealthy, and doesn't harbor any delusions that he could be wealthy. No long-lost titles deux ex machina into the plot like some ill-place karate warrior and provide Will and Lydia with a happily-ever-after. The ending, which I refuse to spoil, is satisfying but realistic. Will is a character who has to sacrifice a great deal to get his happy ending.
The romance is rather exceptional. There's a lot of build-up between Will and Lydia. They truly get to know each other, circling around their mutual attraction, before they even kiss. And then, thank the romance gods, the sex isn't some boring exercise in (take your pick) teaching the heroine how nipples work, comparing each other to past lovers to prove that this is TWU LOVE, taking a page-long break so the hero can apologize to the heroine for breaking her maidenhead, etc. The sex has just as much to do with the characters and where they are emotionally as it does with bumping uglies. The love-making isn't always easy, and it makes Will and Lydia even more interesting as characters.
I'll definitely try out Cecilia Grant's other novel, but that one will have to wait. I don't want to consume all of her books at once. These characters are just different enough from the romance standards of the day that I don't want to rush a good thing. ...more
Years ago, if you had said to me, "Rachel, the day will come when you rate books higher because they're violent and bloody with some smexy times on thYears ago, if you had said to me, "Rachel, the day will come when you rate books higher because they're violent and bloody with some smexy times on the side," I would have scoffed and replied, "Bitch, don't be talking crazy!" Alas, as I age, I grow infinitely creepier. My Ruthless Princewent there so many times that I was utterly captivated by the sheer ballsiness of it.
At times, it seemed that Gaelen Foley was writing directly to my spirit animal, the velociraptor. Nobody enjoys death and mayhem like my inner spirit animal. Its short little arms go flailing akimbo at the mention of patricide, and it tears apart entire rooms at the excitement of slit throats in battle. So, basically, reading My Ruthless Prince turned me into this:
Sadly, My Ruthless Prince isn't actually about a PRINCE. I know! Romance titles are supposed to tell the truth, right? The "prince" in question is actually Drake, the Earl of Westwood. Not a prince at all, but I'll let it go. So Drake is a super-spy from The Order, an ancient brotherhood reminiscent of The Knights Templar. The Order has a nemesis, the Prometheans, which is pretty much The Order only totally evil. A couple years before the start of this book, Drake was captured by the Prometheans, locked in a dungeon, tortured and brainwashed for months. They wiped his memory, and then some old Promethean dude released Drake with nefarious intentions. A feral Drake returned to England, and the only person he remembered was his childhood friend Emily Harper, the woodsman's daughter on his estate. Emily helped nurse Drake's memory back to life, but then the old dude, James, returned, and Drake seemed to defect from The Order and his best friends by saving James's life and taking off for places unknown with the Prometheans. This all occurs before the opening pages of the novel.
Now that everybody thinks Drake is a big, fat traitor, Emily takes it upon herself to hike into the wilds of Bavaria and rescue Drake from the castle where he's shacking up with the Prometheans. Loyal to a fault, Emily can't believe that Drake is really an evil traitor. She knows he must have something up his sleeve. So armed with a bow and set of arrows, Emily somehow makes it to the castle and comes face to face with Drake. Instantly, he seems like a changed man. No longer the smiling, playfully devious friend Emily remembers from her youth, Drake is now dark, remote and tortured. He's climbed the ranks of Prometheans to become James's right-hand-man and pretty much head of security at the castle. At first, Emily is devastated to realize that Drake has become the monster he fought so hard against with The Order, but she can't figure out what to do about it because she still LOVES HIM more than sunshine and rainbows and unicorns combined.
Of course, this is a romance novel, so Drake's whole Evil Promethean exterior is just a ruse. He's taken it upon himself to orchestrate the biggest inside job EVER. Basically, he wants to kill all of the Prometheans, and he really doesn't care if he dies with them. Until Emily Harper arrives, that is. Reminded of the sweetness and light of life by the woodsman's daughter, Drake is tempted to touch the one girl who's always been forbidden to him, and her presence makes it much harder for him to live in a world of moral ambiguity.
LIKES:
1. The Gore! - Foley doesn't shy away from the fight scenes. Sure, the main characters pull off some far-fetched stunts, but who doesn't want to imagine the hero jumping from a horse and tackling a bad guy off of his and proceeding to beat the crap out of him? Good times! Less than a third of the way through the book, one of the antagonists (view spoiler)[strangles his birth father, a good guy, TO DEATH, and you get to read about it from the perspective of the victim. (hide spoiler)]
2. Drake's Brush With the Dark Side - At times, Drake doesn't act very heroic. Several times during the book, he scares Emily with the lengths he goes to exact revenge. At one point, he even scares me with the internal implications that he may be turning into a Promethean by accident. He reminded me of Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels, only if Anakin hadn't been portrayed like a pubescent emo crybaby with abandonment issues.
3. Emily's a Convincing Action Girl - I mean, she made it the whole way into the freaking Alps with her bow & arrow and wits. Although she's a pure, innocent soul, she takes part in some of the later bloodshed and manages to defend herself convincingly. She has great aim with a bow and arrow and isn't afraid to use it.
4. Virgin Sacrifice! - In order to prove how evil the Prometheans are, Foley has them plan a virgin sacrifice at the next eclipse. Naturally, the only virgin in the castle is Emily, (view spoiler)[until Drake takes care of that (hide spoiler)], so it adds some desperation to the plot. And as cliche as the whole virgin sacrifice plot is, I had to love its campiness.
DISLIKES:
1. Emily Totally Doesn't Have a Set of Velociraptor Balls When it Comes to Love - I get that she loves Drake to distraction, but I got a little annoyed when she can't resist him even when he's ACTUALLY BEING A BAD GUY. Her internal monologue is all like, "Oh, he's being so evil right now. I SHOULD stop him. But I can't because he's beautiful and BELONGS with me. Therefore, I will tolerate his bad behavior and die a little inside with each step he takes toward the dark side." Grow some goddamn backbone, Emily. Geez! If Emily wasn't so capable and moral, her transformation into a doormat wouldn't have bothered me so much. Fortunately, at the end of the book, she grows her balls back in a SPECTACULAR way. (view spoiler)[Then she loses them again immediately afterward, but I'm trying not to dwell on it. (hide spoiler)]
My Ruthless Prince isn't a perfect book, but I had a freaking awesome time reading it. For some adventure mixed with some sweet romance, this is worth reading. That's the problem with Avon books. 99% of them make me want to tear my eyes out, and then the rare 1% comes along that rocks and compels me to trudge through the crap to find the rare gold. ...more
**spoiler alert** I hate it when I miss the memo that the book I'm about to read is apart of a series. And no, not just any series, but a series based**spoiler alert** I hate it when I miss the memo that the book I'm about to read is apart of a series. And no, not just any series, but a series based on a cutesy family with a bazillion members that I know absolutely nothing about. Say You Love Me could have been half its length if the author cut out shoving all of her past happily-ever-afters in the reader's face. Uncle So-and-So married this lady, and Cousin So-and-So married this titled gentlemen, and these brothers-in-law like to pick on each other because they used to be enemies in a book you didn't read. Isn't this adorable? No, it's not adorable. Just really boring for me. This reminds me of how diseased Julia Quinn's Bridgertons became with Super-Cute-Family-itis, only I started this one right in the middle of the shenanigans instead of slowly watching the story devolve into absurdity as I did with the Bridgertons.
You're probably reading my complaint and thinking, "Rachel, just read them in order." Well, it's too freaking late, for starters. But also, shouldn't any stand-alone book in a series be capable of getting at least 90-95% of the story line from new material? That was my problem with the constant invasion of the Malory clan, the hero's family, in this book. Peripheral characters that already had their own books crowd and muddle the works, distracting me from the people the story is actually about. At so many points, these previously established, sickeningly happy characters robbed the agency from the protagonists. Who needs a hero to save the day when his big bad uncles, who are totally tough and used to be rakes, can do it for him? Why make a heroine face her self-esteem issues when the hero's clever cousin can snap her fingers and make all the scandal go away?
In short, the Malory family is one big, annoying deus ex machina. It really held the story back for me.
SUMMARY: Say You Love Me is supposed to be about Lord Derek Malory, a future marquis who's supposed to be quite a ladies' man but never really displays that trait. He comes across Kelsey Langton, a real lady dressed up as a prospective mistress, at some high-priced (probably illegal) auction where wealthy men can buy a virgin mistress in a contract that brings to mind slavery. When a man that Derek knows is cruel and violent starts bidding on Kelsey, Derek does the honorable thing and ... buys her for himself! But of course! That's the only way they can have teh smexy times. Obviously Derek and Kelsey are meant to be, and it's one long journey of them being perfectly pleasant with each other (no joke) while the Malory family makes wise-cracks and summarizes their own history until the ultimate happy ending.
Lindsey's writing isn't bad. I loved the interactions between Derek and Kelsey because they do make a cute couple. The plot just ended up getting all wrapped up in Derek's freaking family, and I didn't care about those people. At times, Kelsey disappears for generous portions of the book so the reader can visit with past characters. It zapped all of the suspense and fun out of the story.
Since Lindsey's writing managed to keep me interested, I'll try another of her books, but you can be sure that I'll check and double-check that the book isn't apart of a series. Fiddlesticks, this one almost put me into sugar shock. ...more
The second book in the Deadly Cool series features all of the fun humor and mystery I enjoyed in the first installment. And by all, I mean freaking ALThe second book in the Deadly Cool series features all of the fun humor and mystery I enjoyed in the first installment. And by all, I mean freaking ALL of the same things I enjoyed before.
This story followed a very, VERY close formula to the first (LIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD): - Girl is found dead. - Hartley takes it upon herself to prove girl was murdered. - Hartley comes up with lots of bad ideas and lies to adults AND authorities. - Inconsequential flirting with Chase. - More people get hurt. - Hartley continues to be a very bad detective. - Hartley ends up in life-threatening danger.
There's nothing wrong with that formula. I actually think it's charming that Hartley's a crappy detective. She has spunk and determination instead of unrealistic super-spy(!) gifts, so it adds more tension to the plot. Alas, a lot of the tension from this plot was removed because it was so similar to the first book.
I don't regret reading Social Suicide. The understated, often horribly AWKWARD romance is a refreshing change in the YA genre, and Hartley's ability to stay alive despite her childlike incompetence keeps the narrative rolling at an easy-to-read pace. I just hope that the third book either grows on the existing formula or changes it. Times are tough, and I don't have the disposable income to read the same book three or four times. That's right. This review just got ECONOMIED!
I would have given Wicked Becomes You 4 stars if not for the heroine's unfortunate encounter getting smacked silly by the Stupid Stick and ac3.5 stars
I would have given Wicked Becomes You 4 stars if not for the heroine's unfortunate encounter getting smacked silly by the Stupid Stick and acting like an asshat for about 50 pages. Sure, I'm a grumpy jerk for letting a character get to me, but it would serve romance writers well to understand that they can create conflict without turning otherwise rational and likable heroines into dithering morons out of the blue. I mean, we have reached a point in modern times when women aren't characterized as irrational harpies, right? RIGHT? Bueller?
SUMMARY: So there's this sweet, perfectly nice Victorian girl named Gwen Maudsley who's super rich but untitled. She's been jilted not once, but twice at the altar and has had it UP TO HERE with all of this motherf--ing society and it's motherf--ing rules. (Self censorship is a hallmark of Victorian times.) So she decides to enlist the help of Alex Ramsey, a seriously dreamy rascal who was best friends with her late brother. Alex is apprehensive at first, considering that he promised said late brother that he would keep Gwen out of trouble. But by the time they meet up in Paris, sparks have already flown, and Gwen embarks on a reckless journey toward all things wicked. She breaks a few societal rules, convinces him to take her to the Moulin Rouge, and SHOCKER! They totally end up shagging. But will Alex's dark, sad past keep him from being a man worthy of Gwen? And will the lobatomy Gwen presumably inflicted on herself during one of the chapter breaks in the middle of the book ruin their chances of being delightfully wicked together?
I really like Duran's writing. Sometimes it gets a little too flowery for my tastes (literally, she references flowers A LOT), but the dialogue flows well and the character interactions are entertaining. Although Gwen's plunge into the more scandalous side of Paris isn't all that wicked, it is entertaining. I enjoyed the way Gwen savors every step of her new-found freedom. The setting also gives Gwen and Alex time to build up some pretty hot chemistry.
Alex is cool for the most part. He's jaded and glib most of the time, but I believed in his soft teddy-bear interior. I'll admit I laughed out loud SO HARD when his dark and wounded past centered around (view spoiler)[a childhood battle with asthma. Like, sure, that would suck, but I don't believe for a second it would leave him emotionally damaged because his family coddled him to keep him from having another attack. Sorry, no. Not buying that. (hide spoiler)] Alex is open about his feelings and genuinely enjoys Gwen's quest to break out of her shell.
Gwen is a good time at first. Unfortunately, she slowly devolves into a woman with just a little less sense than I can handle. She takes off with a man she doesn't even know a couple of times. Wicked or not, that behavior's just stupid. Even real wicked women know better. At the end, (view spoiler)[she falls into the abominable "He says he loves me, and I don't believe him. Poor me! I'll be alone forever! But that's okay because I don't want him to leave me!" wangst fest. I HATE it when heroines act like that, especially when the hero's a cool guy like Alex. (hide spoiler)]
Overall, the story was a quick read and definitely amused me in parts. It's a good candidate for lazy, easy reading. Just don't put too much merit in Gwen's misleading intelligence. You'll only be disappointed.
I didn't expect to enjoy this book as much as I did. Full disclosure: The main reason I read this book is because the blurb revealed that the3.5 stars
I didn't expect to enjoy this book as much as I did. Full disclosure: The main reason I read this book is because the blurb revealed that the hero is named the Duke of Mountjoy. Throughout the book, his given name is never revealed. He's just Mountjoy. Mountjoy. Call me immature, but I couldn't resist some good Mountjoy action.
SUMMARY: Lily Wellstone, an independent heiress, travels to Bitterward Estate to visit with her recently widowed friend Ginny. On the way there, she encounters a gypsy king who gives her a magical love medallion. Naturally, upon her arrival at Bitterward, the first person Lily meets is Ginny's older brother, the poorly dressed but super hot Duke of Mountjoy. The two of them immediately develop a flirtatious banter and start to screw around like brazen hussies. Good times. But Mountjoy's practically engaged to another woman, and Lily has vowed never to love again. Will all of their mounting be for nothing, or will that mounting lead to joy?
Not Wicked Enough is one of those rare books that includes its title in the text of the story. During one game of verbal foreplay, Lily asks Mountjoy if he thinks she's too wicked. Little Mountjoy (that's a euphemism for his penis) prompts him to respond that she isn't wicked enough. Thank you, Carolyn Jewel, for making the connection, even if "wicked" is among the Top 10 Most Overused Words for HR Titles, right up there with rake, rogue, sin, scoundrel, and seduce.
Lily is a pretty awesome heroine. I'm used to hating Regency heroines, so she really came out of left field. She isn't a blushing virgin, so I didn't have to put up with any of the blushing virgin wangst. She's fun, energetic, and good-natured, and I fully understand why Mountjoy A) wanted to put his Little Mountjoy in her and B) ultimately fell in love with her. Even better, she's discreet! She understand the dangers posed by forming a liaison with the duke, and she keeps a proper distance, just as you would expect a mistress to do back in the day. Granted, she totally boinks her best friend's brother, which some might consider indiscreet, but her actions made way more sense than 99% of Regency heroines these days. So good for you, Lily!
Mountjoy, aside from having an epic name, isn't as much fun as Lily, but he makes up for it by being adorably vulnerable at times. He's honorable (if you ignore the fact that he's screwing his sister's best friend), dedicated to his title and tenants, and really likes the smexytimes. He grew up on a farm before learning he was so close to the title and still dresses like it. There's some cute banter between Mountjoy and Lily about her becoming his valet.
Although the characters are stand-up people, not a lot happens in the story. It's more of a character study than anything, and I love characters. But honestly, in my old age, I need more action. There are only so many smutty lover's trysts I can read before I get bored and start praying for a sword fight. So I wasn't particularly thrilled with the storyline. The magical gypsy love medallion is only faintly alluded to in the story, and it could have been used for some freaky stuff. However, I enjoyed the characters enough to give this book 3.5 stars. Since I'm feeling generous, I'll round that up to 4 stars for the Goodreads rating. ...more
**spoiler alert** I wanted to give this book 3 stars. I really did. Anna Randol's a debut author, and every struggling writer knows that it takes year**spoiler alert** I wanted to give this book 3 stars. I really did. Anna Randol's a debut author, and every struggling writer knows that it takes years of experience to get your feet under you. She even took a risk, setting the story in Constantinople instead of a collection of boring London drawing rooms where rakes and innocent misses exchange significant glances over tea.
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GIFSoup Georgian England loved giving some significant glances.
So, yes, I wanted to take it easy on A Secret in Her Kiss SO MUCH. Unfortunately, the book packs an overload of shenanigans. The heroine is mega-annoying, unbelievable, and inconsistent. The culture switches from traditional to slapstick several times without warning. Don't even get me started on the grammatical errors. For the love of Mr. Darcy, editors, you're getting paid to make the text readable! Edit!
SUMMARY: Major Bennett Prestwood, a pretty cool and normal guy, is delayed on his trip home after Waterloo with one last assignment. The Crown needs him to play guardian to a British spy with lady-parts who paints enemy fortresses into pictures of nature. The British spy with lady-parts, unfortunately, is a young spinster by the name of Mari Sinclair. Her father, an architect or archeologist or something, moved her to Constantinople after the death of her Greek mother. Apparently, Mari's taken up her mother's passion for Greek independence. So you have that. But Mari is also friends with the Turkish locals, including a powerful pasha. So you have that, too. Despite Mari's work for the British government, she despises England because her English aunt was mean to her a decade ago and her mother only cared about Greece, DAMN IT! So your plate is probably getting really full now. When the handsome and duty-bound Bennett enters Mari's life, she's convinced to shake him and the British government off because she answers to no man! Too bad Bennett's a hottie, then, because Mari totally finds herself in a frequent state of wanting to jump his British officer bones. Mmm-hmm, smexytimes. And Mari's read the Kama Sutra, so she knows what she's doing. Will these two find an allegiance in common, or will they just boink like animals and part? Even more importantly, will they even survive? (Pretend you don't know these answers. Romance may be predictable, but my enjoyment level went up ten-fold when I convinced myself that Mari could meet her Maker by the end of the book.)
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GIFSoup No, no, NO! Not YOU, Mr. Darcy! I wasn't referring to you!
STUPID THINGS THAT MARI DOES: You know that annoying tendency that heroines have to do completely off-the-wall stuff without warning or prior communication? "You can't tame me! I'll dress as a boy and go to White's to spy on you because it's my RIGHT AS A WOMAN! RAWR!" Mari does this from the beginning. She's embroiled herself in some serious international politics, which is unfortunate because she often shows the judgment of a lobotamized split-pea. So when she finds out that Bennett's coming to protect her, she gets all indignant and treats him like trash from the beginning. How DARE a man with integrity and the survival skills to last twelve years in active duty try to ... help her? If he had actually done something to piss her off in the first place, I wouldn't have been so puzzled over Mari's petulant attitude. But they had never met before!
After Mari sends her maid dressed in robes and a veil in her place to a meeting with Bennett about enabling her well-being (the nerve!), she takes off all alone in Constantinople knowing very well that someone wants her dead to break her dad out of an opium den. Bennett, being a practical and forthright fellow, tracks her down there and is like, "Okay, not cool, strange woman. I'm just trying to keep you alive." This is how their first meeting progresses. Notice Mari's absence of rationality.
His eyes rested on her father, and pity entered into his gaze.
Her free hand clenched at her side. How dare he? How dare he judge her or her father? She stepped to the right to move around the major.
He mirrored her motion. "Miss Sinclair?"
Mari turned back the other way. He had followed her to the opium den, and he could trail her home because she had no intention of speaking to him here. Thanks to her father's weakness, her life provided enough fodder for public discourse. She refused to add to the subject matter.
The major blocked her again.
She exhaled through clenched teeth. "Would you be so good as to move, sir? My burden is not precisely light."
His eyes narrowed. "You're Miss Sinclair." The words were not a question.
Major Prestood moved toward her father, but she led him a step out of the major's reach. "And you, sir, are arrogant and overbearing. Step aside."
Okay, first off, Mari, RUDE! All Bennett does is try to help her father. It makes no sense. Plus, Mari's hostile demeanor is explained as an attempt to prevent causing a scene. However, short moments later, she kisses Bennett in the middle of the street to ward off curious onlookers. In front of her father, who's wasted out of his mind, but still. IN CONSTANTINOPLE, where women aren't allowed to keep company with men outside of their own houses!
So Mari doesn't like Bennett. Fine. And he, being the hero in a romance novel, dislikes her in return but also gets a really bad boner for her. Nothing new in that department. Although she doesn't trust Bennett and actively thwarts his every attempt to "tame" her, Mari's incredibly sexually aggressive with the poor guy. She touches and straddles him at every opportunity. (Special note: In this world, chaperones aren't a problem.) She talks about studying (lol) the Kama Sutra and how it taught her about the pleasures of the flesh.
I can't speak for all women because I'm just some nobody from the wilds of Pennsylvania who reads a lot and talks to her 3 cats like they're real people (so does my husband, for the record). But full disclosure here: By the time I lost my virginity, I'd read tons of romance novels, I'd watched sex on TV and music videos, and I'd had several friends explain it to me. And I was still freaked out of my mind the first time. Terrified. First times are supposed to awkward and kind of uncomfortable, right? But NOT for Mari. Oh, no, she's totally prepared for the wonders of love-making because she's read the Kama Sutra, and apparently that makes her a special snowflake. *Headdesk*
At one point, Mari commits treason. That was a fun development. She was all, "I have no loyalty to England. The people there suck." And Bennett was all, "You're the dumbest person I've met in my entire life, but your hair's so pretty ..." People die for committing treason. Mari didn't just put herself at risk by betraying classified information; she also put Bennett, Achilla (her maid), and her father in grave danger. Especially Bennett. This is all to protect a man who later banishes Mari from Constantinople (with good reason).
The big sex scene takes place in a filthy prison cell, I kid you not. As I read the part where they got thrown in the cell, I checked the pages left in the book and started pleading, "Oh, please. PLEASE don't let them consummate their love in a prison cell." But they did BECAUSE THEIR LOVE CAN'T BE CONTAINED. Freaking nonsense, all of it. The air in the cell is described as "fetid" several times, and they can't even see while they're making love. They could have been bumping uglies on the melted remains of corpse, and they never knew it. That's a lovely image to have in your head while reading a sex scene.
After they escaped from prison, I just wanted the nonsense to be over with. But of course, Mari had to act like a silly ass moron for a little bit longer, rejecting Bennett's marriage proposal because OMG, he follows orders, and maybe the orders mean more to him than being with her. Just ... what the hell? IS THIS WOMAN IMBALANCED? Bennett's in the military. He has to follow orders, or he can be tried for - oh, I don't know - TREASON or WORSE. His ability and willingness to follow orders is what makes him ideal for protecting her sorry life!
To her credit, Mari quickly comes to her senses. But it's too late! Time for a shadowy threat from the book to abduct her and her maid and leave two charred corpses in their place! She's lucky Bennett ends up saving her. Also, I was hoping the book would end when Bennett found what he presumed to be Mari's corpse. It would have been a fitting ending for a tiresome woman who commits treason and betrays all of her alliances like it's no big thing. (view spoiler)[She didn't die. (hide spoiler)]
There's also the matter of Mari's maid, Achilla, who Mari saved from slavery years ago and still works as her maid in gratitude. Okay, fine. But Achilla rarely behaves as a maid would behave. She's loud and crude and opinionated. Mari interacts with her the same way she would with a friend. But she still orders Achilla about like a maid! The dynamic bothered me, both for its unrealistic portrayal and the condescension of Mari being so kind and selfless to allow her wildly inappropriate maid to stay in her household.
Bennett actually isn't that bad. He's gotten his hands dirty in the war, but he doesn't have any woobie-fied crippled legs or sad wittle feelwings that tworture him. He behaves honorably with Mari with the exception of the disgusting prison cell sex, and he doesn't flip-flop on the whole love thing. If only he'd had more to do. He could have been a great hero in a real romantic adventure story with a heroine who didn't squish him like a bug every time she wanted a leg up.
I'll give Randol credit for holding my attention, even if it was to find out what stupid thing Mari would do next. Her prose flowed easily, aside from the grammatical errors. I'm not sure if the draft given to the editors was just so bad that the finished product was the best they could do or if someone in the editing department really dropped the ball. A lot of books these days suffer from sloppy editing. If I have to re-read a sentence to make sense of it solely because of an error, that's bad.
I pine for the days of good romance to return. Remember this?
Mari and Bennett can't even compare to Anne and Gil, but they could take a few notes on a proper love/hate relationship.
Oh, and for those of you who like to keep track, I'm pretty sure there was sex in a carriage. It isn't clear because the scene was fade-to-black, but the heroine was already tearing the hero's clothes off. I think it's safe to assume that one more soiled carriage got its chance in the Avon spotlight. :D...more
You know that part in the horror movie when the scantily clad girl wanders right into the bad guy's clutches? Her thought process goes something alongYou know that part in the horror movie when the scantily clad girl wanders right into the bad guy's clutches? Her thought process goes something along the lines of, "Hmmm, I have two choices here. I can take my cell phone and my stupid ass outside and run to a neighbor's house to call for help, OR I can wander into the dark blood-stained hallway and take my chances with a man with a machete. I'm just that curious." Inevitably, she comes face-to-face with Mr. Serial J. Killer, and is all like ...
Well, for the entirety of Mind Games, the main character Justine is that dumbass girl wandering up the stairs to play hide-and-seek with Freddy Krueger. I despised her character with a visceral passion that I haven't experienced in years, which left me feeling insecure, like I was suddenly the irrational one. It's just a character in a book, Rachel, I told myself. Don't let it spoil your reading experience. But it's hard to escape those feelings when the Worst Person Ever(TM) is narrating the book. Without Justine dragging the whole party down, I would have rated this book 4 or even 5 stars for the excellent world-building. Alas, it just wasn't meant to be.
SUMMARY: Justine is a hypochondriac who's a couple more trips to the ER for non-existant diseases away from being institutionalized. She's terrified of dying of vein star sydrome like her mommy, the original hypochondriac, did years ago. She lives a co-dependent life with her decent and normal boyfriend, Cubby, who can't take much more of Justine's irrational fear. Enter Sterling Packard: red-haired hottie with a proposition for Justine. He wants her to join the Disillusionists, a psychological hit squad that basically destabilizes criminals to the point where they become decent people again. Packard teaches Justine to channel her fear into their targets, increasing her quality of life while making Midcity a safer place. There's also the teeny tiny detail that Packard and Justine want to bone SO BAD. But Cubby's still a factor, and then there's Justine's irrational fascination with police chief Otto Sanchez. What's a speshul snowflake to do when she's gots teh new powerz and all teh menz want in her panties?
I'll start off on a positive note. I love the world that Carolyn Crane created. It's a regular city where high-caps, people with special powers, can do things like sling bricks at unsuspecting citizens and crush their skulls. The concept of the disillusionists targeting murderers and rehabilitating them is so cool, too. When the justice system fails, Packard and his crack team of misfits can step in and turn horrible people into upstanding citizens. Awesome freaking sauce. Crane has a great style for explaining how the disillusionists touch "energy dimensions" and "zing" targets with their anxieties. The writing didn't disappoint me. Unfortunately, the story came from the direct narrative perspective of a woman posessing maybe half a brain cell.
The disillusionists are a very interesting collection of people. There's Shelby, probably the most insightful person in the book, Simon and his gambling addition, Carter and his rage, and Strongarm Francis and his silly name. My favorite person of all, though, is Packard. Oh, Packard!
(view spoiler)[Packard has been trapped in his restaurant for eight years by his nemesis. He can't step outside of Mongolian Delites, nor can he change anything about it. He's literally stuck in a damn restaurant. At one point, Justine goes to the restaurant at night and finds him reading a travel magazine. Who wouldn't fall in love with that?(hide spoiler)] Packard's an intriguing mix of sexy, infuriating, brilliant, and diabolical. The scenes between Packard and Justine crackled with energy. I love the way he talks, too. He just sounds like an evil mastermind.
"I don't see how I could possibly move a napkin with the power of my mind," I say.
"All will be revealed," he mumbles.
"Did you just say 'All will be revealed'?"
He looks up. "Yes."
"Who says 'All will be revealed'?"
"I do," Packard says. "Just perform the task."
"The task. Ah, please, forgive me for interfering with your diabolical restaurant supply order."
Unfortunately, Packard somehow ends up enamored with Justine. He could do so much better. We all could do so much better. When I read, characterization is my number one concern. I want to like or at least understand the characters so I can enjoy the book. Now, everyone's tastes differ, and I'm sure that some people think Justine is the cat's meow. Sadly, I don't. She's more likable as a pathetic hypochondriac than she is as a so-called empowered woman. Not thinking about vein star just gives her the opportunity to judge everyone around her and make poor life choices. (view spoiler)[The one time she does something kind of awesome to fight off a bad guy, she's dressed in a freaking sexy nurse costume. And instead of changing out of it once she deals with the bad guy, she flaunts around like an airhead. I understand that her clothes were destroyed, but there's always an extra pair of pants in a freaking house! This is just a small nit-pick, though. (hide spoiler)]
Justine has a horrific case of foot-in-mouth syndrome. She just blurts things out at the most inopportune moments, and never gets a grip on her bad habit. At the end, (view spoiler)[she tells Otto all about the disillusionists with no prior knowledge of how he would react or what it would do to her team or Packard. And why? Because he was a good fuck, and she had a "good feeling" about him? Up until that point, Justine wasn't a pillar of insight, so I have no idea why she thought she had the right to gamble the very livelihood of her friends like that. Yes, she had a right to be pissed at Packard, but the others were innocent. (hide spoiler)]
Justine also has a serious self-esteem crisis. She spends half of the book trying to please Cubby, then she simultaneously hates and thinks about smexing up Packard. Later, (view spoiler)[she has sex with Otto even though she suspects that he's dangerous and knows for a fact that he imprisoned Packard in the restaurant. (hide spoiler)] I can't respect a woman who has no loyalty to anyone who doesn't happen to be her boy of the week. Her need for security and the perfect life is understandable, even if her motivations are TSTL. But freaking hell, she never even tries to get better. She just judges and blurts things out, and everyone still thinks she's super swell. Well, I don't, Justine. I don't.
I'll stop ranting now.
Also, during Justine's love scene with one of the male characters, the phrase "cucumbery cock" is used. Cucumbery cock for the win! A mature person wouldn't have guffawed after reading that statement. But I'm not mature.
Lastly, the description of Otto is LOL-worthy. A beret and a cape? Every time she mentioned his damn beret, I had mental images of Sadam Hussein and Fidel Castro. Never trust a man in a beret, ladies.
Despite my issues with Justine, I would recommend this book. The world-building is superb, and Crane has a great sense of humor. Just be prepared to want to swat Justine upside the head 95% of the time. ...more
The thing about book series that I always have to remind myself about is this: Given enough time, all of the characters wil**spoiler alert** 3.5 stars
The thing about book series that I always have to remind myself about is this: Given enough time, all of the characters will eventually lose their bananas. Third Grave Dead Ahead, incidentally, has very high levels of potassium. VERY high. On the bright side, Charley manages to both hold onto her bananas and gain a ton of insight. It's about time.
SUMMARY: Third Grave Dead Ahead picks up a couple weeks after the last book left off. Reyes is still throwing a temper tantrum because Charley bound him to his corporeal form. The only time he can become incorporeal is when Charley summons him, which she somehow manages to do every time she falls asleep, at which point they can't help but have lots of hot dream / ghost sex. So instead of -oh, I don't know - talking when she summons him and figuring out a way to take a nap, neither of them get any sleep. So this entire book centers around a sleep-deprived grim reaper solving mysteries and putting herself in a crapload of danger. When Reyes breaks out of prison to find his maybe-not-so-dead dad (not Satan but the psychopath who kidnapped him as a baby), Charley has to juggle his issues along with her new case searching for a missing wife. Aided by the always dependable Cookie, Uncle Bob, her unwelcome tail Garrett Swopes, and copious amounts of coffee, Charley has a massive amount of shenanigans on her plate in this installment. Who will make it out alive?
Here be spoilers! Do not keep reading if you don't want to be spoiled!
THE GOOD: Charley Finally Grows a Pair I was starting to worry about our heroine at the start of this book. She lets Reyes get away with just about anything. He bullies her for binding him but never actually tells her why it's so important to unbind him. Hey, Reyes! It's called talking. Try it sometime. He holds her at knifepoint, carjacks her, and knocks her out in a seedy hotel room to perform his master plan of hunting down Earl Walker. At no point does he explain what's up or offer an encouraging word or sentiment. And Charley, a decent human being for the most part, helps him with nary a fight. And he still doesn't trust her.
So finally, at the very end of the book, Charley realizes that she's been used and mistrusted and put in grave danger by the man she loves. Instead of letting him off easy, Charley shuts him out the same way he did in the last book and starts to assert her own power. It was a long time coming and had to be done, even if Reyes is the smexiest thing since smexy became a thing. And speaking of Mr. Smexy Son of Satan ...
I always picture Reyes as Henry Cavill even if the hair isn't right.
Reyes Eats Some Humble Pie Well, it's about freaking time, you naughty man! It takes Charley getting filleted by his evil not-a-father for Reyes to understand that maybe talking to the woman he supposedly loves would be a nice move. Fortunately, Charley isn't me and doesn't instantly forgive him the way I wanted to forgive him. More importantly, Reyes pushes Charley to recognize her own power. He knows how to push her buttons and finally uses them for good instead of manipulation. Reyes can only get better from here. I hope his punishment is long and smexy.
The Supporting Characters Cookie's the best. I love how Jones gave Charley a best friend who's smart and helpful. Charley would be seriously lost with Cookie. Their open friendship is very refreshing. Charley doesn't keep any secrets from Cookie, allowing Cookie to be a source of stability in her crazy life. Uncle Bob made me smile as usual. He's a better father figure to Charley than her own father. Also: Garrett freaking Swopes. OMG, I love him. The way he calls Charley Charles, the way he always shows up at the right (or wrong) time, his stupid list of things you shouldn't say to a grim reaper.
THE BAD: I'll put this in list form to save space. - Charley's inability to take anything seriously. Yes, I understand that she's quirky and sleep-deprived, but this book deals with some serious issues. Sometimes jokes can be really tacky, and Charley doesn't seem to understand that. - Charley's reluctance to embrace her supernatural responsibilities. When Reyes tells her she has to knock it off with the human stuff, he kind of has a point. Some bad stuff is after Charley, and she spends a great amount of time avoiding it. I think she might want to figure out her powers sooner rather than later. Denial does not suit a grim reaper, especially when it will put the good people in her life in danger. - The random addition of Donovan as a shallow love interest. Um, yeah. Even Garrett thinks it's weird. Plus, Charley and Reyes have enough issues without playing the jealousy game. I like Donovan and his men, though. I just don't think it's fair of Charley to toy with Donovan because she's mad. - Mistress Marigold was a bit of a letdown. All she really does is inform Charley that she'll get a guardian. The nun has to have more insight than that. I need some answers, and so does Charley.
THE UGLY: - Charley's dad is so totally dead to me. Whether he wants to protect her or not, what he does is unforgivable. Now he's as horrid as Charley's wicked step-mother. - A dog?!?! Of all the things that could have been Charley's guardian, we get stuck with a dog? I have nothing against dogs, but still. - The only upside to Garrett's untimely demise was that I thought he'd become Charley's guardian. But no. Instead, he chats her up for a while and then comes back to life? I do not understand these things that confuse me. - The jokes get really annoying in this one. I was annoyed during the last book, but my tolerance seems to be dwindling. Don't get me wrong, I like to laugh, but it has to be about something funny.
Despite the flaws in Third Grave, I'm still excited to read the next installment. I'm already suffering from Reyes withdrawal. The bastard has a cruel grip on my fragile resistance to him. Also, it's high time Charley embraces her inner badass to show us what she can do. ...more
Okay, Rachel Vincent, you got me. I bow before your world-building, kneel at the altar of your badassedness (totally a word in my book), and sincerelyOkay, Rachel Vincent, you got me. I bow before your world-building, kneel at the altar of your badassedness (totally a word in my book), and sincerely hope that I never end up in one of your books. Not only did you create a crapsack world that was a convincing sack of crap, but you also designed a structured world where convenient plot devices and the dreaded deus ex machina are impossible. Well done. I'm thoroughly creeped out now.
SUMMARY: Olivia "Liv" Warren is a blood tracker by profession and a mercenary when she has no choice. With a person's blood sample, she can find them just about anywhere. Bound by a blood oath made with three of her childhood friends in the most misguided and unfortunate form of adolescent blood oath bonding ever, Liv is dragged into hunting for the murderer of her best friend Anne's husband. The only person who can help her is Cam Cabellero, a name tracker and Liv's ex who she left high and dry six years ago under a cloud of mystery. As Liv and Cam discover how hard it is to stay away from each other, their conflicting loyalties threaten to end rheir lovers' reunion in disaster. Then Anne's daughter Hadley goes missing, and all hell breaks loose (as it's wont to do). Will Liv and Cam find a way to be together? Will they rescue Hadley? Is there any possible way I would ever want to live in their world? (The answer's no, just in case you're wondering.)
LIKES: Liv is really badass. Even though she's tangled deep in a complicated web of oaths, she remains defiant throughout the book and exploits every loophole she can find. Liv can defend herself and knows how to use a gun, but Vincent doesn't rob her of vulnerability and normal human decency. In general, Liv's heart and love for the people in her past (mainly Cam) drive the conflict of the book. She's torn between her contract with Cavazos, a sadistic bastard with a wife who jumped on the cray-cray train years ago, and her desire for a life of freedom. My heart broke a little bit every time I realized how difficult earning her freedom would be. I'm not kidding about the crapsack world thing. Vincent binds these characters without leniency. I wanted to give them so many hugs for their misfortunes.
Now let's focus on Cam. Oh, Cam, you sexy pudding pie, you! He never gives up on Liv, even when she spends so much time pushing him away. Sure, he has eye-roll worthy alpha tendencies, but beneath all the swagger and ass-kicking is a big ol' softie. He also never treats Liv like a wee wittle helpless woman-folk. Not that Liv would allow him to treat her like that. But still, credit where it's due and all.
The supporting characters are equally compelling. Villains like Cavazos are multi-layered and at times unpredictable. His batshit crazy wife ends up being one of my favorite characters just because she's kind of brilliant beneath all the mania. Even Elle, (view spoiler)[who's dead (hide spoiler)], is drawn fully. I'm totally fascinated by Kory, too. I want to read her story, if she ever has one. I feel a kindred bond with all foul-mouthed blondes.
As I mentioned above, the world-building is superb. Every time I thought things could get worse, Vincent socked me in the face with more cruel realities. Never before has being born with supernatural abilities (Skills, in Vincent's world) seemed more undesirable.
DISLIKES: The action was well-written, but there was actually very little of it in the book. A majority of the story is spent strategizing and talking in Cam or Liv's apartments, which is good for understanding what's going on but a bit tedious. I appreciate that intelligence trumps brute force in Blood Bound, but action is so much more fun. Granted, Vincent treats us to an amazing action scene at the end with blood and more blood and blood. (view spoiler)[Also, I really wanted to smack Cam for prodding all of Liv's secrets from her but not telling her that he slept with Anne. Did he have so little faith in her coping skills? It's sad that Kory had to spill the beans. Not cool, Mr. Pudding Pie. Hypocrisy does not suit you. (hide spoiler)]
THE ENDING: (view spoiler)[Does Vincent plan to add any follow-up books? If so, I must read to find out if Liv makes another contract with Cavazos to help Cam. If not, I think the ending is brilliant. Leaving it up in the air with Liv making a decision about binding herself again brings the story full-circle and really highlights how inevitably fucked all the character are. This is coming from a woman who ADORES happy endings. I'm just not sure if a traditional happy ending would make any sense in this case. The characters should just be relieved that they got Hadley back. (hide spoiler)]
In short, read this book. It will frustrate and terrify you, but it's totally worth your time. ...more
I had to read this book a second time and review it to defend my honor. Someone, Karla who shall remain na**spoiler alert** 2nd Read Rating: 3.5 Stars
I had to read this book a second time and review it to defend my honor. Someone, Karla who shall remain nameless, was trolling on my old ratings and poked fun at my chick lit past. I believe this person called me a "chick lit Hoover". It was a fun chat. So, yeah. BAVR used to read chick lit. Point and laugh all you want. I regret very little in my life except for the tremendously generous ratings I handed out when I first joined the site. You see, when I signed up for GR, they told me they could generate recommendations by having me rate a bunch of titles they splashed up on the screen. Like a good little soldier, I clicked through pages of books, and I swear to god that a majority of the books on those pages were chick lit. And I was like, "Yeah, I read them," because I'm not fucking DEAD. You can't walk into a book store without seeing some brightly covered book about shoes or credit cards or working a trendy job in NYC while wearing shoes and using credit cards. In the excitement of signing up for this awesome site (Hi, Goodreads!), I basically gave 5 stars to stuff that I tolerated (like this) and 1 star to stuff that I wanted to die in a fire (like the Twilight series). It worked, didn't it? I eventually found a group of book sluts just like me, and we're currently living happily ever after.
But yeah, the 5 star thing is a bit much.
Sue me.
In Queen of Babble Gets Hitched, narrator Lizzie is ob-fucking-SESSED with weddings. In the two previous books, she met her boyfriend at a wedding, dumped him because he didn't want a wedding, and basically talked about weddings the way that creepy guy waiting in line next to you at the grocery store won't stop telling you about his personal life. I don't understand what it is about chick lit that makes the heroines act like goddamn psychos, but it always seems like weddings turn perfectly reasonable, successful women into this:
[image]
It's the corsets, right? The corsets block the air from reaching the brain.
The opening of the book presents Lizzie in full-on panic mode. After the ex-boyfriend, Luke, crawls back to her at the end of Book 2 and PROPOSES, Lizzie now has to get his best friend Chaz out of her bed after their drunken make-out the night before. But Chaz doesn't want to go because he thinks that he's the perfect man for Lizzie. Also, no one thinks Lizzie should marry Luke because the only things she seems to like about him are his looks and the fact that he talks about maybe being a doctor to save little kids someday. Word to the wise, NEVER trust a man who talks in "somedays". He will disappoint you 95% of the time. As her feelings deepen for Chaz, Lizzie's left with quite a conundrum. Can she really date a guy who wears khaki shorts and baseball caps? (If you live in MY hometown, you can, snob.) Oh, and one more thing: Chaz doesn't believe in the institution of marriage.
So you see where this is going. Nothing crazy happens, but the writing and characters are charming, and the book is easy to read. I still like that Lizzie chooses the beta in the end. I'm a bit of a beta whore when the occasion calls for it. They never seem to come out on top in these books, and I like an underdog. Lizzie's Gram is a real delight, too. I love it when old people lose all social filters and start saying everything that comes to their warped minds. Unless the old people are bothering me at work. Then I want them to go away.
Not a 5 star to me any longer, but there's nothing BAD about this book. Would I buy something with its description today? No. But my walk down memory lane was a nice enough for 3.5 stars.
Note: I didn't change my initial star rating because fucking with the overall rating seems unfair to me....more
Rachel (BAVR)
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