Judas, the saint of heartbreak. The saint of unfortunate decisions. Martyred without even Heaven as a consolation prize.
I loved it. Judas
Judas, the saint of heartbreak. The saint of unfortunate decisions. Martyred without even Heaven as a consolation prize.
I loved it. Judas and The Devil, hand in hand as two of the most hated creatures in existence, but they hate themselves the most, and the TRUAMA. And LILITH! Lilith is honestly everything I’ve ever wanted to be.
Anyways, check CW & FRTC but for now, quotes
If only the Devil had someone to pray to. Judas is the closest thing to a saint he has
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“He throws away all his ‘perfect' creations in time. You'll see, and you can remember the golden kingdom. You can remember my face, if I cannot see that oh-so-tender countenance myself when the butchery starts. We'll see what you think of sweet Father then."
_____________________________________________
I know how you feel, the Devil would say if he were welcome. Heaven killed everything I loved, too.
_____________________________________________
The Devil is God's traitor, messenger, instrument, and Judas is Yeshua's.
_____________________________________________
He is, after all, only good for being an instrument of grief. Is this all this is? Judas punishing himself by sleeping with the worst, most loathsome creature.
_____________________________________________
Father, Father, Yeshua wept. My God, My God, why have you forsaken me? To be loved by God is to be left.
_____________________________________________
Judas will be hated for centuries to come, the next one-thousand years, this man who made the wrong choice out of fear, out of love. Most might rejoice to be forever unforgotten, even in infamy. But he can see now from Judas' wide eyes, oh so bright and wrought, that these knives will skewer him again and again.
_____________________________________________
“…. what if the prophecies written in the old book are true, and I end up in the lake of fire forever?" "I'll be there with you.”
Freedom sometimes required one to look life in the eye and say, “I’m coming for you.”
3⭐️ for The Nichan Smile
✅ Dark Fantasy ✅ Shifter type species ✅Freedom sometimes required one to look life in the eye and say, “I’m coming for you.”
3⭐️ for The Nichan Smile
✅ Dark Fantasy ✅ Shifter type species ✅ Dystopian ✅ BFFL to lovers (ish) ⚠️CHECK CW
I've been waiting a while to get to this book, mainly knowing it would be at least a trilogy and wanted to have the next to dive into. That said, I still managed to go in almost blind, with no idea what to expect from the plot, outside of it involving a somewhat dystopian world, it would be dark, and the promise of two ride or die best friends. Based on the latter alone, I was sold and didn't care about knowing any details.
Now, I am an absolute h0e for *anything* involving two people who put one another above everything else. That 'you and me against the world' kind of bond that can save and brighten a characters existence in even the worst of circumstances. And, that's what this is. Domino and Gus *live* in those worst of the worst circumstances - but who cares when they have each other? So... swoon, right?
It pains me but it cannot be denied... about 65% into The Nichan Smile, I started to drift. Despite my fav type of bond being very much present, I began skimming, skipping entire paragraphs (fine, even a page or two) because it just held no relevance to what it had FELT like the story was building to. Which brings me to my next point... WHY that happened.
For one thing, this book started out strong. The world building was there - not perfect, but enough that I understood the who / what of the MCs and the social hierarchy of the immediate surroundings, without being overhwleming. That said, as far as the rest of the 'world', any structure, alliances, types beings etc. well... couldn't tell ya. I do know there are Nichans, Vestige's (humans with a little something extra), and regular old humans who apparently travel the continent and try to 'purify' the 'abominations' caused by The Corruption aka a kind of taint that hit after the gods had been taken (or something like that).
The book opens with VERY young Domino, ~7 years old, finding an equally young prisoner Vestige (who would be Gus). INSTANTLY I was rooting for Gus and Domino and Mora. I needed them to come out on top. To establish themselves. Fight the good fight OR say F the good fight lets just be us and ignore the world, etc etc. But none of those things happened. Something was missing.
That missing thing was the antagonist / goal. That thing they are working toward or running from. Just merely surviving, which they were doing, without the goal of staying by each others side over everything else, a plan to escape, SOMETHING identifiable that would be uncovered in a big reveal. Each page felt like it was building, taking me closer to some THING, a big moment, the game changer. That moment did not come. At all. Don't get me wrong, there is a TON of messed up and terrible stuff that happens - and almost every time it did (there was many) and I'd be all 'HERE we go! This is it!' only to find everything just going on business as miserable as usual by the next dang page.
WITHOUT THESE THINGS, THERE IS *NO* CLEARLY IDENTIFIABLE PLOT. What are we working toward? Why should I keep going? I am not getting a clear picture of what we're working towards or fighting against aside from the same old stuff as before, that came rolling in like waves of a tide, not to be thwarted or fought - the characters just floated along this proverbial ocean. These kids are put through the wringer, face injustice, bullying, bigotry - but not once was there a light at the end of the tunnel or even a climactic 3rd act devastation - not that rivaled that of the already established perpetual devastating events. Gus and Domino are very much pushed around & have little choice in their lives - yes. Very true. But even in private, in situations where the opportunity to be decisive, do something - they just didn't. They rolled with the punches. No agency, not a single spec in at least 90% of this book.
Now, these are my immediate thoughts, and I hope it makes sense for now. I did get book two downloaded immediately, and I will read it. It's long, something like 600 pages I think. I plan on reading it between other things - hopefully that will chance and I will be pulled in by some great plot device - a change that has me absorbed in this messed up world again, unable to look away from the pages because I have a clear goal / resolution / action to root for and characters who have explicitly decided they will fight for.
Merged review:
Freedom sometimes required one to look life in the eye and say, “I’m coming for you.”
3⭐️ for The Nichan Smile
✅ Dark Fantasy ✅ Shifter type species ✅ Dystopian ✅ BFFL to lovers (ish) ⚠️CHECK CW
I've been waiting a while to get to this book, mainly knowing it would be at least a trilogy and wanted to have the next to dive into. That said, I still managed to go in almost blind, with no idea what to expect from the plot, outside of it involving a somewhat dystopian world, it would be dark, and the promise of two ride or die best friends. Based on the latter alone, I was sold and didn't care about knowing any details.
Now, I am an absolute h0e for *anything* involving two people who put one another above everything else. That 'you and me against the world' kind of bond that can save and brighten a characters existence in even the worst of circumstances. And, that's what this is. Domino and Gus *live* in those worst of the worst circumstances - but who cares when they have each other? So... swoon, right?
It pains me but it cannot be denied... about 65% into The Nichan Smile, I started to drift. Despite my fav type of bond being very much present, I began skimming, skipping entire paragraphs (fine, even a page or two) because it just held no relevance to what it had FELT like the story was building to. Which brings me to my next point... WHY that happened.
For one thing, this book started out strong. The world building was there - not perfect, but enough that I understood the who / what of the MCs and the social hierarchy of the immediate surroundings, without being overhwleming. That said, as far as the rest of the 'world', any structure, alliances, types beings etc. well... couldn't tell ya. I do know there are Nichans, Vestige's (humans with a little something extra), and regular old humans who apparently travel the continent and try to 'purify' the 'abominations' caused by The Corruption aka a kind of taint that hit after the gods had been taken (or something like that).
The book opens with VERY young Domino, ~7 years old, finding an equally young prisoner Vestige (who would be Gus). INSTANTLY I was rooting for Gus and Domino and Mora. I needed them to come out on top. To establish themselves. Fight the good fight OR say F the good fight lets just be us and ignore the world, etc etc. But none of those things happened. Something was missing.
That missing thing was the antagonist / goal. That thing they are working toward or running from. Just merely surviving, which they were doing, without the goal of staying by each others side over everything else, a plan to escape, SOMETHING identifiable that would be uncovered in a big reveal. Each page felt like it was building, taking me closer to some THING, a big moment, the game changer. That moment did not come. At all. Don't get me wrong, there is a TON of messed up and terrible stuff that happens - and almost every time it did (there was many) and I'd be all 'HERE we go! This is it!' only to find everything just going on business as miserable as usual by the next dang page.
WITHOUT THESE THINGS, THERE IS *NO* CLEARLY IDENTIFIABLE PLOT. What are we working toward? Why should I keep going? I am not getting a clear picture of what we're working towards or fighting against aside from the same old stuff as before, that came rolling in like waves of a tide, not to be thwarted or fought - the characters just floated along this proverbial ocean. These kids are put through the wringer, face injustice, bullying, bigotry - but not once was there a light at the end of the tunnel or even a climactic 3rd act devastation - not that rivaled that of the already established perpetual devastating events. Gus and Domino are very much pushed around & have little choice in their lives - yes. Very true. But even in private, in situations where the opportunity to be decisive, do something - they just didn't. They rolled with the punches. No agency, not a single spec in at least 90% of this book.
Now, these are my immediate thoughts, and I hope it makes sense for now. I did get book two downloaded immediately, and I will read it. It's long, something like 600 pages I think. I plan on reading it between other things - hopefully that will chance and I will be pulled in by some great plot device - a change that has me absorbed in this messed up world again, unable to look away from the pages because I have a clear goal / resolution / action to root for and characters who have explicitly decided they will fight for....more
Riveting from start to finish. The symbolism, painfully layered and gut wrenching emotions- absolutely unbelievable. ICinderella+Matrix= Us, Et Cetera
Riveting from start to finish. The symbolism, painfully layered and gut wrenching emotions- absolutely unbelievable. I had tears in my eyes from page 1 until I sobbed in the end.
I fell in love with Eke in the opening paragraph. If I could have reached into this book and threw hands for him, I would. Kyp was exactly who he needed in his life and his protectiveness over the light that is Eke was a reflection of how anyone reading this book will feel.
As someone who is endlessly fascinated by the intricacies of AI vs consciousness I knew I’d be into this book. However that is t a requirement because this story is SO MUCH MORE than simply a story about AI.
I have so much more to say and I’ll be back to articulate it *all*… but for now just know that this is a MUST READ.
UPDATE Netgalley graced me with a copy of the Audio, narrated by Michael Crouch, and it was ABSOLUTELY PERFECTION. Hearing Eke and Kyp brought to life broke me all over again. Forever obsessed.
Merged review:
Cinderella+Matrix= Us, Et Cetera
Riveting from start to finish. The symbolism, painfully layered and gut wrenching emotions- absolutely unbelievable. I had tears in my eyes from page 1 until I sobbed in the end.
I fell in love with Eke in the opening paragraph. If I could have reached into this book and threw hands for him, I would. Kyp was exactly who he needed in his life and his protectiveness over the light that is Eke was a reflection of how anyone reading this book will feel.
As someone who is endlessly fascinated by the intricacies of AI vs consciousness I knew I’d be into this book. However that is t a requirement because this story is SO MUCH MORE than simply a story about AI.
I have so much more to say and I’ll be back to articulate it *all*… but for now just know that this is a MUST READ.
UPDATE Netgalley graced me with a copy of the Audio, narrated by Michael Crouch, and it was ABSOLUTELY PERFECTION. Hearing Eke and Kyp brought to life broke me all over again. Forever obsessed....more
The end of a series is always going to be stressful but this was next level. Lily BROUGHT IT. Ash’s anxiety and Lonan’s despair were contagious, infecThe end of a series is always going to be stressful but this was next level. Lily BROUGHT IT. Ash’s anxiety and Lonan’s despair were contagious, infecting me more every page turn. I swear I was in danger of a cardiac event…. And it was superb.
Not a plot hole to be had. No questions left unanswered. Got closure for all my favorite supporting characters in this found family. Our bbz deserve EVERYTHING. All the good things.
This is top tier Lily. Yes I love all her books but this trilogy is so special.
HOLY MOTHER THAT WAS INSANE. Absolutely amazing and genuinely shocking.
This book put me through it guys. I
”I don’t want space to have us.”
HOLY MOTHER THAT WAS INSANE. Absolutely amazing and genuinely shocking.
This book put me through it guys. I’ve lived 100 lives and died at least 6 times while reading. The second book cannot get into my hands fast enough.
For the longest time I ignored this when it was recommended to me because it’s listed as a YA book but NO. Marketing errors strike again. This is a scifi drama, yes adult grade but enjoyable for everyone as it deals with fears we can all understand IE the endless expanse, and the purpose of existence. I’m so glad I finally listened to recommendations and picked this up.
Po has been a mystery from the very beginning and in this we finally get his story. That’s not even the best part for me though - thThe best wrap up.
Po has been a mystery from the very beginning and in this we finally get his story. That’s not even the best part for me though - the best part is the meditation circle besties ...more
Noa Hayles owns me. My fav character. His hilarity is unmatched. The dynamic between he and KC - heathens as PENELOPE IS GETTING A BOOK IM SO HAPPYYYY
Noa Hayles owns me. My fav character. His hilarity is unmatched. The dynamic between he and KC - heathens as Cam would say - is so everything and it REALLY shined in this book.
The development of each relationship really solidified as well, not just between the core couples but between all four men in every different pairing. I am obsessed with them.
Everyone is laughing like crazy, having a blast and not taking life too seriously. That’s what Blair taught us. That love makes you stronger and th
Everyone is laughing like crazy, having a blast and not taking life too seriously. That’s what Blair taught us. That love makes you stronger and that life isn’t that hard or serious, it’s what you make of it.
SWOON
I love this big chaotic family sm. I could seriesly read about the family Blair and Rhys created, their shenanigans and overbearing moments - all of it - and never ever get bored. Blair is so mama bear and second in command Rhys is so big soft teddy bear but could kill you… they’re just EVERYTHING.
This one was Fletcher and Ronan’s story & it was emosh, but soooooo swoony. Gotta hand it to Nicole, she really hit it out of the park with this one - deffo my fav of hers....more
Hook, Line, and Sinker is a contemporary MF character driven romance, & it goes a little something like this:
Fisherman guy has been ‘sexualized’ sincHook, Line, and Sinker is a contemporary MF character driven romance, & it goes a little something like this:
Fisherman guy has been ‘sexualized’ since childhood which, shocking exactly no one, led to a troubled relationship with intimacy as an adult. Bro refused to acknowledge and speak his feelings out loud bc… the normal reasons really, that’s not exactly ground breaking.
Movie music extraordinaire stays with him for a summer. This book is about that…
I was not the target market for this book, but maybe you will be! That last 15% or so brought this up from 2 to 3⭐️...more
’Everything that has ever been birthed has been a monster; we were all birthed from God, the greatest monster of them all,’
EVERYTHING HURTS AND IM D
’Everything that has ever been birthed has been a monster; we were all birthed from God, the greatest monster of them all,’
EVERYTHING HURTS AND IM DYING. Every page of the last 10% shredded my insides more than the last. I knew it would hurt, Rafael said this one was worse than ABM but jfc, you just cannot prepare yourself adequately for the absolute destruction waiting for you.
One thing remains: Lucifer aka Satan aka the Devil *is* that bitch.
Other things I loved:
- the Angels trying to understand the binary gender system of humans. Ie “I’m not a woman. I’m an angel.” And “you’re not a girl. You’re a demon.”
- Baal being THE PRINCE OF PETTY. It’s a competition for Lucifer’s love and affection and Baal will win. And he’ll be smug as hell about it .
Nicky James can do no wrong. This book was sensation; Koa - complex trauma, PTSD - he is a character that will get under you skin, into your soul, & sNicky James can do no wrong. This book was sensation; Koa - complex trauma, PTSD - he is a character that will get under you skin, into your soul, & stay there. Jersey’s respect of Koa’s boundaries, his conscious decision / actions to be patient and calm, was everything.
PATREON ARC review: Read this in a single sitting and loved every second - no surprise there. These NE crossovers & cameos give me life. My absolute fPATREON ARC review: Read this in a single sitting and loved every second - no surprise there. These NE crossovers & cameos give me life. My absolute favorite thing.
Shiloh and Ever are bestie soulmates. I LOVE IT.
Seven. Mal. Oh how I loved these two characters, one as always, the latter new and a complete surprise. I need so much more Malachi in my life.
Fav Jessie book no competition no question. Let’s just get right into it. Rambling thoughts ahead.
One MC, Skyler, went down the autism - ADHD - bipolaFav Jessie book no competition no question. Let’s just get right into it. Rambling thoughts ahead.
One MC, Skyler, went down the autism - ADHD - bipolar - pipeline so many neurodivergent people will be able to not only identify with, but will also - I GUARANTEE - feel validated and seen bc of the way Sky’s moments of sensory overwhelm & meltdowns are explained, the introspective way his spirals are written… just yes. Omg so much yes.
Skylar is upset that people think they know what’s best for him. People don’t take the time to understand him instead his life has been spent trying to be molded by whoever is in charge into a way more socially acceptable / more palatable for others. Skylars actual needs are co olé tell dismissed, no one has EVER accommodated him to the point of neglect and in the last instance prior to being sent to Black Diamond, abuse.
At black diamond skylar not only finds Nolan, it also finds an actual support system. A doctor that takes the time to understand his needs and help him build his own life, self esteem, identify his emotions to help him I stand the pressure inside and verbalize it when prior those moments went unheard and lead to meltdowns.
It’s impossible to get everything into one review that will do justice to what I’m TRYING to explain, the significance of all this - but Skylar takes control of his own life and it’s a JOURNEY. Love doesn’t magically make his life easier, no one magically swoops in and saves Sky. He saves himself and then fights for what he wants.
Yes there is two MMCs and a whole romance but as you can see I was much more invested in the whole arc of one character, but I did also LOVE THE ROMANCE!!!! Nolan, MMC #2 is learning how to live and maintain sobriety and the depiction and importance of being supported by those around you to achieve success is highlighted, and I loved that.
Ya. Read this book.
Before I go, here’s some Tropes / Topics / Highlights: - Age Gap - Forced Prox - Found Fam ...more
This is a love letter to the neurodivergent - the “loved as you are by a person who sees and understands you” type of love letter. The rare kind that This is a love letter to the neurodivergent - the “loved as you are by a person who sees and understands you” type of love letter. The rare kind that allows the mc to just be as they are, grow in way that’s successful for *themselves* and not as the world tells them, both in terms of finding true love and building a secure life.
In my feels for time being and will be back to hardcore hype this masterpiece up FRTC...more
This is an emotional story of two men who have no one but themselves to depend on, to care for and vice versa. They are very much on tThis was SO GOOD
This is an emotional story of two men who have no one but themselves to depend on, to care for and vice versa. They are very much on their own respective metaphorical islands.
CROW: After spending the first 16 years of his life as the only child of a cult run by his father, Crow never could and didn’t want to assimilate to life among the masses. The mountain is his home and his safe space.
CYRUS: This man feels everything, all the time. Cyrus says he feels everyone’s pain, and I have to agree. After his mom losses her battle with substance abuse, Cypress almost does the same but gets help, and moves to a small town Tranquility for a new start. His mental health is a struggle day in and out, and his mask is exhausting. No one really sees him and knows if they did, not only would they not care but he’d just become another person liken about by towns people in whispers and mean judgments.
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