Dilek VT's Reviews > Dirty Letters

Dirty Letters by Vi Keeland
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it was ok
bookshelves: oh-god-wtf-is-this, duo-s-worst-work, covergasm, didn-t-make-me-feel, ridiculous

1,5 stars rounded up to 2

Do you want to read this book because you think it will be hot, fun and emotional? Well, let me help you…

And before I start sharing quotations from the book, let me clarify something. I first thought I was reading an M/M book as I thought Luca was the guy's name so in case you think the same, let me make it clear that Luca is the heroine, Griffin is the hero. Kudos to awesome choice of names!

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OK, are you ready? Here are some examples from their hot and dirty letters…



Luca: I have a nice collection of vibrators—the LELO INA Wave rabbit being my favorite. It gives dual internal and external stimulation.

Hey, girls, bear this in mind. You need to be as informative as possible about your sex life and remember that giving a man the brand name of your vibrator and informing him about its capacity (how many modes, etc.) will turn him on; don’t ever forget!

description

Griffin: Do you have genophobia? I definitely don’t.

Huh, what?
Oh, no they are not 12, or 14. They are 25 year-old mature adults, having this dirty sexy talk in their letters.

Why would you think they were adolescents? Huh, weird?!


Let's move on.

Our hero Griffin wants to be the perfect guy for her so he asks all the necessary questions.

Griffin: Do you prefer Cavalier or Roundhead? (Uncut or other.)

description

Well, great, just great Griffin! That’s an important question to ask a girl you are interested in.

So, will you shape it the way she likes? I just wonder??

And I also wonder if you can revert the action? I mean if yours is circumcised and she likes uncircumcised, then what?


Well, of course, Luca, my girl, asks a question as good as Griffin’s.

Luca: Do you prefer shaved, runway strip, or full carpet?



Griffin’s answer: I will take you any way you give yourself to me, whether bald or hairier than the grizzly bear.

Oh my God, oh my God, so hot, so so hot, isn’t it?
Do you feel the burn?
Do you feel the sexiness of the letters?




Why don’t you take notes so that you can do dirty messaging with your partner and blow his mind?

This book has such a rich archive of this kind of precious dirty talk that you can use it as a guidebook to being sexy.


Confessions from our dear Luca:

Luca: I never told you, but I have a secret nickname for you: Mee-Mee. The story behind it is pretty embarrassing.

Do you remember those little Furby key chains? The vibrating ones that McDonald’s gave out in their Happy Meals years ago? …
I had a few of one little Furby in particular. Yep, you guessed it. . . his name was Mee-Mee. Well, I got the bright idea to give Mee-Mee a try inside my underwear. I held him against my privates and let the vibration stimulate my clit. I’m pretty sure I had no idea what I was doing—but boy did I hit the jackpot. That night I had my first orgasm ever—one hand holding your photo up to look at and the other pressing Mee-Mee against my body. So basically you were a big part of my first orgasm. Was that TMI? I hope not.

TMI? Oh no, of course not! Why would she think so?

Atta girl! That’s how you sound sexy to a guy – by explaining how you used a cute vibrating toy as your vibrator!




Let me also say that the book also gives insight to how you need to end your dirty letter. Take Griffin's endings as an example...

Later, gator,
Griff

Later, traitor,
Griffin

Hot, right?



And when they see each other in real life, their sexy conversations continue.

description


Griffin: I want to do a lot of things with you.
Luca: Like what?
Griffin: Off the top of my head? Well, I’d like to take off your shirt and titty fuck you.

Do you see how their relationship gets hotter and hotter?



Well, if you have the full grasp of how hot and sexy this book is with their dirty letters, let me now show you how endearing our hero is.

Guys, I am saying it here: Griffin is such a great candidate to being one of your best book boyfriends!

Griffin: I’ve had a lot of sex, but most of the time it’s a means to an end, and when it’s over, there is nothing worth clinging on to. I’m not proud of that, but women (at least out here) make it too easy for men. For the most part, we’ll take what you offer up, but it’s nice to have to fight for it sometimes. I don’t want to be with someone who’s okay with me just sticking my dick inside her and going home. You wouldn’t believe how many shallow women I come across each day who are just perfectly fine with—as Americans say—“wham bam thank you ma’am.”

See? He is a gem!

description

I wonder why we cannot find such a perfect guy in real life

Griffin is also very mature as you may have already guessed.

Well, here is another example:

The hero, Griffin, and the heroine, Luca were pen pals for many years when they were children and they shared a lot. They were like soul-mate pen-pals! Because one lived in England and the other was in the USA, they never had the opportunity to meet in person. Then, at the age of 17, Luca stopped answering Griffin’s letters and now, they are 25 years old and Griffin sends her a resentful letter one more time after 8 years of silence. And he says to Luca, “You SUCK!”

I hear you saying,“WTF? Are you 5 or what?”

No no... Griffin writes this when he is 25. I just don’t understand why you would think he was 5, huh, weird!


Griffin is not only hot, fun and mature but he is also very smart and creative.

Griffin: “Knowing Me, Knowing You,” this letter will hopefully lead to more correspondence. I can only hope that my “Dancing Queen” takes a hint and writes me back. The only question is . . . how the fuck will you get a letter to me? “Mamma Mia,” what a conundrum. Take it as a challenge. How does one receive letters on the road? I don’t care how you do it, just “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” Figure out how to get me your letter. You have my schedule. I challenge you. “I Have a Dream” that you’ll find a way to do it.

Could I BE any more annoying using ABBA songs to communicate with you?

I am answering: No, you couldn’t!

Oh oh, Luca also answers to this letter using the songs of Abba but to read that priceless answer, you need to read the book; I can’t do that many favors, you know…

As I said, Griffin is many things and one other precious quality of Griffin is his honest and decent character.

Luca wants to share photos and also meet Griffin in person. Neither of them knows what each one looks like. However, as Griffin is now a famous rock star followed by paparazzi and Luca is agoraphobic; Griffin thinks that it is not a good idea and so he does what any decent and honest man would do. He hires a PI and asks him to find her and take her photos because he wants to see how she looks like. Of course, he doesn't want her to know how he looks like.

Things happen, bla bla and they finally meet in person. I have no words to describe what an epic first meet it was so I am not even trying to describe it!

What was I saying? Huh, I was talking about what an honest and decent man Griffin was.

Luca is a writer of many famous novels and later in the book, when he wants to read her books, the conversation goes like this:

Griffin: Will you let me read your books?
Luca: It’s not like I could stop you if you really wanted to, now that you know my pen name.
Griffin: You’re wrong about that. If you didn’t want me to read them, I absolutely wouldn’t violate your trust.

Ha ha ha, I can’t stop laughing.. Just a moment…



OK, OK… I am trying to stop…

Aren’t you the one who sent a PI after her back??!

Well, do you see what a hypocrite Griffin is?!
Oops, no no, I was going to write what a decent man he is, typo typo, sorry!


*********************************************

Well, the book is, as you see, very hot, emotional and fun with two decent, mature and lovely characters. But the unfortunate thing is the book is only 244 pages and honestly, I couldn’t get enough of them ☹

In addition to all this awesomeness, there is a weird therapist obsessed about birds, many many therapy sessions about agoraphobia, never-ending mourning after the death of her best friend, a glimpse of the sad and lonely life of famous people, fairy tale like coincidences, which all add value to the book.

*********************************************

Also, the book made me see some facts about mourning that I’d never thought of before.

The reason Luca stopped writing to Griffin was that her best friend died in a fire at a concert and from then on, she stopped being the lively girl she was. She retreated into her own world, started fearing crowds and now she is agoraphobic. She has been suffering from severe panic attacks.

During that 8-year separation, Griffin lost his mother to cancer and he needed his pen-pal, his best friend Luca, but she never answered his letters.

Now, after that famous letter in which he said, “You suck!”, Luca finally writes back to him and explains what happened back then. Our hero Griffin is so very sorry about her loss and he realizes that his loss was not as great as hers; therefore, he apologizes!

He says one may expect to lose parents, even at a young age as his mother, but losing a best friend and bury them was unthinkable and unbearable.

To solidify this fact, the book shows that Luca’s mourning after the death of her best friend lasts 8 years and turns her into an agoraphobic person during that period of time.

So this precious book showed me that you cannot compare losing a friend to losing a parent or even to losing the love of your life because the pain of losing a friend lasts longer and it hurts
deeper!




Well, I knew that whoever you lose, when you lose a loved one, it should hurt badly, but strangely, I never knew losing a friend hurt the most. The book taught me that! If asked, I would say it depends but now I learnt that it didn’t.

*********************************************

Final words:

We did a buddy-read with my book soul-mates, Funda and Sanzida and we had great fun reading this book!



I hope I was able to explain what kind of a treasure this book is. I think you should join us and share its awesomeness but if you don’t want to read a hot, emotional, fun and sexy book, then, it is your problem and of course, your loss!



So, you may wonder why 2 stars?! Oh, well, I might just be jealous of its awesomeness, seeing I would never have the talent to be able to write such an epic book... Yeap, that must be it..

*********************************************

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Reading Progress

October 23, 2019 – Shelved
October 23, 2019 – Shelved as: to-read
November 5, 2019 – Started Reading
November 7, 2019 – Finished Reading
November 8, 2019 – Shelved as: oh-god-wtf-is-this
November 8, 2019 – Shelved as: duo-s-worst-work
November 9, 2019 – Shelved as: covergasm
November 21, 2019 – Shelved as: didn-t-make-me-feel
December 21, 2020 – Shelved as: ridiculous

Comments Showing 1-50 of 90 (90 new)


Funda Demir I feel the same way.. if you like it I’ll read it x


Dilek VT Funda wrote: "I feel the same way.. if you like it I’ll read it x"

Ha ha, OK darling, or how about a buddy read :)???


Funda Demir Oh yes I really enjoyed our first one (although it was unplanned 😂)


Dilek VT Funda wrote: "Oh yes I really enjoyed our first one (although it was unplanned 😂)"

So, we'll talk on November 5th and then decide, Ok :)?


swedishruler B We should see. This is kinda part of series per say. And the last one was not that good. Ex drama.


message 6: by Carol (new) - added it

Carol You never know what you are getting!! That's for sure. It's a maybe for me. xoxo


message 7: by Radd Reader (new)

Radd Reader They are a hit/miss for me too. Hope the story is good and you can contain your drooling 🤤 over the hottie on the cover 😉


Dilek VT Radd Reader wrote: "They are a hit/miss for me too. Hope the story is good and you can contain your drooling 🤤 over the hottie on the cover 😉"

Carol wrote: "You never know what you are getting!! That's for sure. It's a maybe for me. xoxo"

Nova wrote: "We should see. This is kinda part of series per say. And the last one was not that good. Ex drama."

Yes, ladies, we'll wait and see if the book lives up to the expectations the blurb and the cover created...


Funda Demir Yes my lovely; we shall 😘❤️


message 10: by Funda (new) - rated it 1 star

Funda Demir Loving this so much for all the wrong reasons haha 😂❤️


message 11: by Carol (new) - added it

Carol Can't wait for the reviews, ladies!!!!!


message 12: by swedishruler (new) - added it

swedishruler B Power puff girls. Lmao


message 13: by Funda (new) - rated it 1 star

Funda Demir LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL I AM ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING.. THIS IS THE BEST REVIEW ON GR 😭😭😭😭 I LOVE YOU MY FRIEND; TO MANY MORE BOOKS THAT ENTERTAIN US 🍾🥂


Dilek VT Funda wrote: "LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL I AM ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING.. THIS IS THE BEST REVIEW ON GR 😭😭😭😭 I LOVE YOU MY FRIEND; TO MANY MORE BOOKS THAT ENTERTAIN US 🍾🥂"

Really? Oh, thank you so much for loving it, darling; that means a lot to me as I know our sense of humor is the same and if you found it fun, then that means I did it!!!

You know I was trying to show how all three of us adored and appreciated this book and I hope I made it clear.

Yeap, to many more entertaining buddy-reads! I can do with less epic books, though...


Sanzida Islam I am laughing so hard that i have tears in my eyes! Great review! 😂😂😂😂😂
I hope our next buddy read turns out to be epic.


Dilek VT Sanzida wrote: "I am laughing so hard that i have tears in my eyes! Great review! 😂😂😂😂😂
I hope our next buddy read turns out to be epic."


Thank you, my love. I hope I was able to portray our mutual adoration of the book :))))

To many more epic reads - but not that epic, please!!!!


message 17: by Funda (new) - rated it 1 star

Funda Demir Can’t wait my love 😘❤️


message 18: by Ellie (new)

Ellie 🤣 Fabulous review, my friend. This book is waaay too "epic" for me. You know me, I just cannot abide such class and dignity in my romance novels, particularly when it comes to sex 🙄.
Thanks for this. Your "appreciation" literally oozed from my phone screen 😂


Dilek VT Ellie wrote: "🤣 Fabulous review, my friend. This book is waaay too "epic" for me. You know me, I just cannot abide such class and dignity in my romance novels, particularly when it comes to sex 🙄.
Thanks for thi..."


Thanks a lot, Ellie; I am happy that you liked my review. 😘
I am surprised that you decided not to read it after such an encouraging review, though...😂😂😂😂


message 20: by Ellie (new)

Ellie I just don't think I could withstand the awesomeness within...


Dilek VT Ellie wrote: "I just don't think I could withstand the awesomeness within..."

I see I see, you are right, Ellie. I know how hard it was to deal with its awesomeness :)


message 22: by BG (new)

BG Lol🤣😂 ,this review is epic!


Dilek VT BG wrote: "Lol🤣😂 ,this review is epic!"

Thank you, BG, I am glad you liked it :)))


message 24: by Carol (new) - added it

Carol If my eyes could have opened up any larger reading your review they might have fallen out of my head. Could it be any worse, gem you say!!!! Excuse the sarcasm!!!! I can pretend to be gobsmacked but anymore I just expect the ridiculous and crazy from these two authors.
Are they on drugs!!!!
They both used to be one click authors for me and now I treat anything by them with so much suspicion. Gross, unsexy trash.👎🤮 One less to borrow.
EPIC review, Dilek. 😊❤


message 25: by Carol (new) - added it

Carol So sad that I am going to miss out on this treasure of a book. How will I survive the loss!!!
Oh , yeah perfectly fine!!!!


Dilek VT Carol wrote: "If my eyes could have opened up any larger reading your review they might have fallen out of my head. Could it be any worse, gem you say!!!! Excuse the sarcasm!!!! I can pretend to be gobsmacked bu..."

Thank you, Carol, darling. I think we, 3 girls, sacrificed ourselves for the rest of our friends.

Honestly, because of their history, I wasn't expecting too much, I just wished some hot and fun read, even a mediocre romance would do but Carol, this was really gross and ridiculous. When it was not ridiculous, it was boring as hell!


Dilek VT Carol wrote: "So sad that I am going to miss out on this treasure of a book. How will I survive the loss!!!
Oh , yeah perfectly fine!!!!"


Ha ha, you are a strong girl, Carol, I am sure you will survive without the awesomeness of this book :)))))


message 28: by Mali Mor ❤️ (new)

Mali Mor ❤️ The Romantic Blogger I almost peed my pants!!!! 😂
GREAT REVIEW Dilek, bummer you didn't like it :(


Dilek VT Mali Mor ❤️ wrote: "I almost peed my pants!!!! 😂
GREAT REVIEW Dilek, bummer you didn't like it :("


Ha ha ha, honestly, I laughed at myself while writing it, too, Mali. This book made me crazy! I am glad you liked it :)

The only highlight of reading this book was our buddy-read as we were able to rant to one another, using lots and lots of "WTF?!!!!"


message 30: by Mali Mor ❤️ (new)

Mali Mor ❤️ The Romantic Blogger Haha... At least you had that! And an epic review for the rest of us!


Dilek VT Mali Mor ❤️ wrote: "Haha... At least you had that! And an epic review for the rest of us!"

Thank you, Mali; comments like yours from friends make it all worth the pain and torture of trying to finish this book so that I would be able to review it properly...


message 32: by Mali Mor ❤️ (new)

Mali Mor ❤️ The Romantic Blogger
Hope you'll find a book that will make up for this experience!


Dilek VT Mali Mor ❤️ wrote: "❤
Hope you'll find a book that will make up for this experience!"


Thank you, I hope so, too :)))


message 34: by Eva (last edited Nov 07, 2019 02:47PM) (new) - added it

Eva Your review is freaking amazing! I really loved reading it! God the "dirty talk" sounds so cringy. And seriously the double standards are giving me the headache- so Griffin doesn't want to be with a promiscuous women when he himself is very promiscuous and of course it is the women's fault for being so easy when he is just as bad and easy and shallow if not more. I can't deal with this logic...I am never buying anything from these authors ever again.


Dilek VT Eva wrote: "Your review is freaking amazing! I really loved reading it! God the "dirty talk" sounds so cringy. And seriously the double standards are giving me the headache- so Griffin doesn't want to be a pro..."

Thank you, Eva :)) All those letters were really cringy, the things they talked about creeped me out!

And yes, he really had DOUBLE STANDARDS. He even said he would prefer if she'd never had sex before!!!!


message 36: by Eva (last edited Nov 07, 2019 03:08PM) (new) - added it

Eva Is it just me or her books are getting worse and worse in terms of the originality, cringy scenes, double standards and hero's personality? I remember loving Stuck-Up Suit (apart from the cliché "plot twist") and I thought the heroine was fairly sexually confident and strong. I can't remember any double standards and hero was loyal. I heard Griffin said he would have slept with other women if their separation at the end had been any longer towards the end.. seriously, can't believe this guy is looking down at "shallow" women. How did the heroine reply to him wishing she was a virgin and "For the most part, we’ll take what you offer up, but it’s nice to have to fight...."?


Dilek VT Eva wrote: "Is it just me or her books are getting worse and worse in terms of the originality, cringy scenes double standards and hero's personality? I remember loving Stuck-Up Suit (apart from the cliché "pl..."

I don't remember her replying this comment of his, it was a sentence in one of his letters but Griffin really did say that he would have slept with other women if their separation at the end had been any longer towards the end.. What an as*!!!

Yeap, their books have been getting worse and worse. Most of us think like that. Personally, I love the books they write separately more than the ones they write as a duo.


message 38: by Eva (new) - added it

Eva but all her books still have very high average ratings. The 4 and 5 stars review reviews worry me. Did people really read the same book? Are most women not bothered by the blatant double standards


message 39: by CitKat (new) - added it

CitKat Dikek VT, I think this is one of your best reviews!! Love it!


message 40: by Renegade ♥ (new) - added it

Renegade ♥ *LMAO!*

Image result for ay yi yi gif

Image result for romance is dead gif

This one is definitely not for me...

Thanks for your fab and hilarious review, Dilek! 😁


message 41: by Karma Queen (new)

Karma Queen Wow - I give this review 5 stars!
Thanks for the laugh and for steering me away from this particular title.


Dilek VT Eva wrote: "but all her books still have very high average ratings. The 4 and 5 stars review reviews worry me. Did people really read the same book? Are most women not bothered by the blatant double standards"

That's a mystery to me, too, Eva :(((


Dilek VT CitKat wrote: "Dikek VT, I think this is one of your best reviews!! Love it!"

Thank you, CitKat, I am so glad you liked it that much...
The material was so good that it allowed me to play with it :))))


Dilek VT Renégade ♥ wrote: "*LMAO!*





This one is definitely not for me...

Thanks for your fab and hilarious review, Dilek! 😁"


You are welcome, Renégade - happy to help :)


Dilek VT Karma Queen wrote: "Wow - I give this review 5 stars!
Thanks for the laugh and for steering me away from this particular title."


Karma Queen, thank you so much :))) I am glad you liked it that much, yayyy! And happy to help - always...


message 46: by Carol (new) - added it

Carol Dilek VT wrote: "Carol wrote: "So sad that I am going to miss out on this treasure of a book. How will I survive the loss!!!
Oh , yeah perfectly fine!!!!"

Ha ha, you are a strong girl, Carol, I am sure you will su..."

Thanks for taking one for the team. It sounds yucky!!! My reviews for their earlier books started high and have steadily gone down hill to the point where I am surprised now when I enjoy one like I enjoyed "All Grown Up". I hadn't even intended to read it initially. :)) xoxo


message 47: by Dísir (new)

Dísir LOL...such a fantastic review. Immediately taking it off my 'to-consider' list.


Dilek VT Carol wrote: "Dilek VT wrote: "Carol wrote: "So sad that I am going to miss out on this treasure of a book. How will I survive the loss!!!
Oh , yeah perfectly fine!!!!"

Ha ha, you are a strong girl, Carol, I am..."


Same thing happens to me, too, Carol. I loved all the books I read from them at first, then gradually they got worse and worse but sometimes, I happen to like one of them again, like "All Grown Up"; that was a good one, I loved it. I guess I now like it better when they write a book on their own not as a duo.


Dilek VT Dísir wrote: "LOL...such a fantastic review. Immediately taking it off my 'to-consider' list."

Thank you, Disir; I am happy that you liked it :))))


Amber’s reading Thanks for the laughs!


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