len ❀'s Reviews > Down Low

This isn’t a bad second-chance romance.

No.

In fact, it’s the worst second-chance romance I have read.

Honestly, I’ve been trying to write more reviews before the year ends because I won’t be as active on this site next year for reasons, so that’s the only reason I’m writing this.

I knew what I was getting into in terms of the angst, the characters, the drama, and everything that makes this story what it is. I read enough mixed reviews to understand what I was getting into, which did help. I was ready to read about a shitload of angst. I was ready for the drama. I was ready to read about a grown man feeling miserable. I was ready for a second chance between two men who got separated due to a misunderstanding when they were teenagers. I was ready to enjoy this despite what people said.

That isn’t what I got, though.

Instead, I got this.

A pathetic excuse of a second chance romance, Down Low follows Cal as he returns to his small town after ten years due to an unfortunate accident that ruined his bull riding career.

Second-chance romances are tricky and challenging to pull off. This story made me realize why I don’t read them, and I think I unconsciously avoid them.

The most significant issue, and the rest of the problems, is the need for more chemistry and relationship development. There is hardly any on-page time for Eli and Cal, and any moment they spend together passes through explosive arguments, rough, unwanted kissing, or stubborn attitudes. I could not tell you a single moment these two had where they didn’t spend arguing with each other about their past and how it clashes with the present. The lack of development makes it difficult to see how these two get their second chance. Instead, it felt like the author put these two together just because of their past, which is so lazy. Putting two people together because of their history will not enforce tension. Constant lack of communication, push and pull, and continuous bickering aren’t an issue. The issue is how there is no conversation outside, there are no moments of catching up, and then everything is solved through sexual tension. With Cal and Eli not seeing each other for ten years after spending two years in love when they were teenagers, I expected them to spend time with each other, no matter their stubborn attitudes and explosive demeanors. Instead, we’re thrown into some melodrama, an anticlimactic process of two stubborn idiots who cannot, at their age, talk without making things worse, refuse to speak, and fall into a repeated cycle of a mess of miscommunication and misunderstandings.

Some may say it’s part of the angst, and I agree. I’m all for angst, push-and-pull relationships, fights, and stubborn people. I’m all for drama. I came for the drama. I read the negative reviews and was ready to enjoy the ride of what everyone considered a flaw here. Some know I want these stories. I enjoy angst. I enjoy getting in my feelings and crying about fictional characters. But unfortunately, for a story featuring cowboys and bulls and horses, there was nothing to ride. I can understand how and why some readers call this angsty, with Cal’s inner monologue being pretty miserable, full of self-doubt and constant self-hatred, self-blame, and self-judgment. But I don’t know if it’s because I’ve read more angsty stories than this, but I was expecting more angst. I was expecting a full 10.5-inch plate of angst, and instead just got a side 6-inch plate. The angst here is the boring kind that doesn’t make the story move up. It’s not the kind that gives the characters hope as a couple but no hope for them to move on despite their self-sabotage and stubbornness. No. The angst here is the kind that keeps pushing them backward with no steps forward. It’s not the kind to give me hope that there is something between them, but they refuse to open up and take it. It’s the kind that causes drama for 90% of the way through, only for the 10% left to be wrapped up perfectly content as if the characters don’t have unfinished conversations to get through, as if they don’t have actual unfinished business that doesn’t involve sex, as if the characters don’t have catching up to do. It’s the kind that keeps pushing them backward with no steps forward. Everything is okay and dandy.

The second chance is irrelevant. If it weren’t for the flashbacks at the beginning of each other (which I liked) and constant reminders that Cal walked away from Eli or that Eli walked away from Cal, I would’ve forgotten this is a second-chance romance. We don’t see a second chance happen. These two had ONE decent conversation, and every other conversation was full of arguments and rage. No development occurred and took place. We don’t see these two act out the second chance, no moments where they catch up and get to know each other again. What’s the point of a second chance if all their feelings are going to be based on physical lust and past feelings? Considering they hadn’t seen each other in ten years, you would think these two would have lots of catching up to do and making up, but nope! Just fights here and there, and make-up sex, and more fights and arguments, and more rough kissing, and more fights, and more pushing and pulling and pushing and pulling. A never-ending cycle. Suddenly, all is okay, and everything is wrapping up. They’re confessing love and feelings and promising forever—the end.

Both leads are one-dimensional. There’s not enough characterization to give us an idea of who these two men are besides former lovers, gay, a former bull rider, a pastor’s son turned cop, and stubborn. There aren’t enough traits given to them to give them personality besides their miserable behavior. There is no chance or hope of character development.

I also found myself on Cal’s side much more than everyone else. Cal’s situation isn’t the worst, although I couldn’t choose his side whenever he assumed he'd had it worse. His self-depreciation was tiring, but it didn’t become too much to make me feel miserable. I applaud the author for making me sympathize with him more than the rest of the town, including Eli. I couldn’t understand why everyone thought (okay, mostly Eli and his sister) thought they could be such assholes to him. In my opinion, Cal was misunderstood, which has always been my favorite type of character. I wasn’t a fan of how his abusive childhood was glossed over and forgotten by those in the town. His sister, Faith, blamed him for leaving her but refused to understand his origins.
On the other hand, Eli blamed Cal for leaving him without a word. Both characters were selfish, aggravating, and lacked understanding of the situation. No matter how much Cal tried, he was the one to blame. Because it was his fault for sending so much money back home to Faith, only for her to spend it on drugs and get pregnant with a bum loser. Because it’s his fault he left home after their uncle constantly abused him, and if he hadn’t left, he’d be dead or in jail for murder. Because it’s his fault Cal couldn’t let himself be a dirty secret for Eli. Because it’s his fault, Eli decided to come out to his father the night he walked away from Cal, only to blame him for the rest of their ten years, ignoring the fact that he was too late. Because it’s his fault, Cal had to spend all his money on his hospital bills after getting hurt because he had no one to help him. Because it’s his fault, he wanted a better life than his small town offered.

I do believe this author’s writing is beautiful. Her first sex scene was roughly intimate, tender, and explosive. The descriptions are enough to give you an idea of the imagery for the characters and the location. There’s enough showing to show what the characters are feeling and experiencing.

It’s sad to say it, but you can skim this story and not miss anything about the two main leads because nothing between them besides fighting and having sex happens.

Here’s how it went:
10% - Cal and Eli see each other for the first time in ten years. There’s hate, resentment, and rage. Eli gives him a ride because he “can’t have vagrants in his town.”

15% - Cal reunited with his sister, Faith. She hates him and is a bitch to him because “he left and left her to fend for herself,” but let’s ignore the reasons for that, yeah?

19% - We learn that ALL the money Cal sent to Faith was not just spent on the funeral for their abusive, shitty Uncle Kirk and bills, but Faith spent it on drugs and got pregnant with a useless man who is abusive and has a restraining order. But sure, Faith, blame Cal. Blame him for leaving because it’s not like he was being abused constantly, every day, by your uncle. And all the money he sent you wasn’t enough. It’s not like he also has his own life to worry about. But yeah, let’s blame him because he left, and you choose not to understand and accept his reasons.

29% - Cal and Eli see each other for the second time when Eli stops Cal because he is texting and driving. There’s some “sexual tension” the author probably tried to add here, but I didn’t feel it. It was probably supposed to be here because of the dialogue, and they kissed for the first time. Rough. They’re sexually tense.

33% - Cal sees Cody, the useless abusive ass who got Faith pregnant and is here to take back his home. Cal beats him up. Badly. Cal is locked up. Eli sees him. So they see each other for the third time. Still no actual, proper conversation. Their conversation is about their past and how one walked away and blah blah blah.

38% - Cal and Eli see each other for the fourth time. Still no talking. Cal sees Eli laughing and shit with Tucker Grace, the one he beat the living shit out of when they were kids, because Tucker also beat the living shit out of Cal because he’s gay. Awesome.

46% - Cal just walked for a long time in the rain after rescuing Abby and West. His knee is fucked up badly. He threw up because of the pain. He’s a mess and disgusting. Eli finds him. They see each other for the fifth time. Cal is being stubborn. He finally accepts help, and Eli gives him a ride.

50% - They have unfinished business, you know?

53%-57% - Sex scene. First sex scene. Still no actual conversation. Some jealousy is useless and doesn’t give any feeling because these two have no development or tension. No chemistry whatsoever. The sex was intimate, in my opinion, but it still felt useless. Let’s not forget the fact that Cal just walked in the rain for what we assume are hours after rescuing Abby and West, so his knee is fucked up even more, he’s dirty and disgusting, he’s in pain, he just threw up, and he needs rest. But no, everything is okay. He took some inflammatory pills and some mouthwash, so all is well. It’s not like his knee is essential to holding him up and constantly giving him pain. Nope, none of that.

59% - Cal says something that makes Eli snap. They explode again. More blowing up. More fighting. More arguing. Useless dialogue that should make me feel something. Usually, I’d appreciate and love a fighting scene, but not this kind because there’s no chemistry or tension between these two.

Chapter 19 - 60% in - I’m wondering when the the fuck the chemistry for these two will pop up. It's more than halfway through, and still no hint or sign of development and chemistry. They’ve had sex once, and every scene between the two before that has been spent arguing (about the past, both blaming each other, how Cal is stubborn, how Eli walked away, same ol’).

68% - So we’re probably supposed to feel bad for Eli here because we find out he did come out to his father. Only it was after Cal left. He walked away from Cal only to return home and come out to his father that night. And now Cal is telling himself that Eli came out for him. Right, cause the timing is just perfect!

69% - Eli and Cal see each other for the sixth time. They fight a little, with Cal being mad at Eli for not telling him he came out to him. Eli finally tells him the truth and how he went looking for Cal the next day only to find him gone. Eli is blaming Cal, saying he left him without a word. Once again, only Cal is to blame, as if it wasn’t Eli who fucking walked away from Cal. Not to mention that Cal did tell him he wouldn’t be hiding and doing this; he gave him an ultimatum. Eli knew; he didn’t want to admit it because he was also proud and stubborn.

71% - They’re having a decent conversation for once. A long overdue one. One that could’ve happened long before had they talked instead of exploding or turning to sex. A conversation that could have easily saved this entire story and made the second chance work more. And Cal apologizes to Eli, but Eli doesn’t and just acknowledges it? So he’s not going to apologize, too? Oh, look! And it ended with a kiss.

73% Oh, look at that! The next chapter is a sex scene. I didn’t know one conversation at the 73% mark was enough to fix everything. There’s still no chemistry and nothing to root for. The jealousy and possessiveness are worthless.

76% - “I love you.” GOODFUCKINGBYE.

76% - We are told they walk hand in hand downtown and make love again, but we don’t see this. Awesome. Just great. Lovely. Super! It adds SO MUCH to the two men's nonexistent chemistry. It REALLY helps with relationship development. Since there’s no development and a massive lack of chemistry, not seeing anything helps A LOT to see it grow. I just love them SO MUCH. They’re finally talking without exploding, so that’s something, at least. Improvement. Yay!

80% - Aaaaand we’re back to square one! Cal said something to Eli’s father (currently in the hospital) that upset Eli, and Eli is giving him the cold shoulder, back-turned treatment. Amazing. More lack of communication. Oh, they’re fighting! Surprise surprise. That’s all this 28-year-old and 30-year-old can do. They can’t hold a single conversation without bursting. Cal says he returned home for Eli, but I can’t believe that. He just didn’t have another choice.
“Yeah, well…” Eli sighed, and the resignation in the sound hurt worse than anything Cal had faced in the arena. “In the end, that’s all left between us, Cal. Nothing but lust and unfinished business.”
Well, he’s not wrong.

84% - Cal is leaving. Running away. Again. When they said that’s all he’s good at, it seemed like they meant it. He competes in bull riding again to make money for Eli’s father’s hospital bills.

91% - So anticlimactic. So bizarre. So confusing. Eli ended up going to the competition. There’s supposed to be some cute and loving connection here to their past, with Eli coming out of nowhere and catching Cal just like he did when they were young, but I don't feel anything about how there is still no chemistry between these two. Considering 9% of the story is left, I don’t think anything will change. The story is rushing to wrap up. 96% - Epilogue. The end. I still wouldn’t be able to tell you a single thing about these two’s relationship besides the basics: they argue and have sex cause that’s all they can do.

Overall, I’m not a fan, despite actually looking forward to reading this. In an update, I was thankful for the negative reviews because they gave me an idea of what to expect for this (angst-wise), but I felt nothing for the characters and nothing for the romance. Sure, I was on Cal’s side, but I didn’t exactly love him, and I still think he lacked development. We don’t see him think of himself differently in the entire book until the end. No matter how angsty he made the story, it came off as too miserable for me, with no proper development. And then Eli was no better, of course. Too selfish for my liking, uncaring, raging, and overall plain rude. Nothing about this story was enjoyable, so my experience reading it was not good.

Now, don’t mind me as I dive into book two because:
1) I loved Lane in this story. He was one of the only characters with the reasoning in this story, making the novel a bit likable and easier to read. I’m excited to see his second chance, although I’m worried because people say it’s a carbon copy of this one.
2) I’m a series masochist, and if I don’t finish this series now, I never will, or I’ll continue putting it off for no actual, correct, believable reason. I might as well get it over with now.