carolina's Reviews > If There's a Way

“So long as I have the will to live…” I swallow hard, fingers digging into his skin, and I murmur against his lips. “There’ll always be a way.”

Where There's a Will is trauma, heartbreak and devastation. If There's a Way is comfort, love and healing. That's not to say that this book is all rainbows and butterflies and there aren't moments of pure pain (there are), but where the first book resembles a dark abyss, this one is the light at the end of the tunnel.

Will, Waylon, Ivy, Mason, Shawn, Jeremy, Reggie. These characters have taken up residence in my heart and I've grown quite attached to them over the course of these two books. They're deeply flawed, but that's what makes me love them even more. I find it easier to empathise with flawed characters because even if I don't always agree with their actions, I can at least understand where they're coming from. And there were moments when I wished these characters had acted differently to spare me the heartache, but this is their story and I wouldn't have it any other way.

「Everything good that has happened, happened just ten miles up the road, in some small, middle-of-nowhere town. It’s where I met my best friends growing up. It’s where I found a family of my own—not one I was born into, but one I fell into. 」

Will and Way's healing journey was tough, the road to their HEA wasn't easy, and they're not quite there yet, and I love that. I know it sounds weird, but I love how realistically their healing journey is portrayed. It's not linear, their problems aren't magically solved, their traumas aren't erased and they're still going to have bad days. But they are actively trying to get to a better place and that's what matters. They're more solid than ever, stronger and ready to face anything as long as they have each other. I'm very, very proud of them.

「 “My burden is loving you, but not letting myself have you, because I’m fucking petrified nothing will ever be enough to keep you. And I can’t live with that. I literally cannot live with the idea of losing you, Waylon. So there you fucking have it. I’m not just scared, I’m petrified.” 」

This book had many painful moments, but it was also full of happy moments. I giggled. I swooned. I felt anger and despair. I cried and I laughed. I. FELT. IT. ALL! I wish I could erase my memory of these books, just to read them again for the first time.

ˏˋ꒰Will Foster, the sunshine boy ꒱ˎˊ

This time the roles were reversed and Will was the one pulling back while Waylon fought hard for them. Even though I was so angry at times because Will's actions hurt Way, I'm glad he didn't rush into a relationship with him without first making sure Waylon wanted it, was willing to fight for it. After having his heart crushed, Will needed reassurance. And I'm so proud that for once he put himself first and didn't allow Way to hurt him again, no matter how hard it was to stay away.

「 “Every day,” he whispers against my lips a second later. “I’ll prove to you every day I’m not going anywhere. Even… even if it gets to be too much sometimes, I’ll always, always find my way back to you.” 」

ˏˋ꒰Waylon McAllister, the grumpy bear. ꒱ˎˊ

Oh, how my heart aches for this boy! Way's character arc was beautifully done. I cannot tell you how many times my heart almost burst at how proud I was of this boy for not giving in to his demons, his self-loathing. Instead of running away from it all, instead of throwing his happiness away, he fought hard for it. He tried and tried and tried. Every single day. Even when he wanted to give up, he never stopped fighting. He did everything he could to be better, not just for Will, but for himself. And I love him for that.

「 Against my chest, the blunt edges of his nails dig into my skin, and I kind of want to tell him to just do it. Rip my heart out. It’s already his anyway. 」

Will and Waylon fought hard for their happy ending. They bared their souls to each other, showing every scar, every insecurity, every fear. They communicated their feelings so well, it was beautiful to see. They proved to each other that what they have is forever. Their love is messy and angsty and all-consuming, but it is strong. It is brighter than the sun. Will is the sunshine to Way's darkness and they complement each other beautifully. The urge to talk about every little thing that makes their relationship so dear to me is overwhelming, I love them very much.

「 “Christ, man. That’s gotta be what this is, right? This feeling… like I’m being ripped apart from the inside out. Like I’m dying. Like I… like I literally can’t breathe from it.” My voice catches, breaking off like glass. “All there’s left in me is… is you, and I don’t even know if that makes sense. But it’s you. It’s always been you.”」

The found family in this series is precious. Even though this duet focuses on Will and Way, we still get to see a lot of the other characters and I love how realistically the friendships are portrayed. Nothing is perfect. There were moments where they grew apart, too focused on their own pain to see how much a friend was hurting, but that's real life. It happens. But everyone is trying to get better and that's the most important thing. I just want the best for them.

「 Will, the person who my heart beats for. The guys I call brothers. My cousin who’s always been more like a sister—just like the one whose ghost walks these paths. The one we came here to celebrate, along with her twin brother…They’re my family. Blood might be thicker than water, but us? We’ve got thorns. 」

I'm so excited to read the next duet, but I'm a little nervous about it because of things I can't reveal so as not to spoil anything. I think it's going to be even messier and more angsty than this duet, but I trust that the author will treat the story with love and care.

I know I have a novella to read, and Will and Way will appear in the next books, so this isn't a farewell, but it still feels like I'm letting them go. I could read more books about them, I don't think I'd ever get tired of them. They’re my precious boys.

Definitely recommend this duet, especially if you like angsty, hopeful romances with found family, but be sure to check the trigger warnings as this is not an easy read.