I Should Have Renamed This Quotes

“If you only had 48 hours left to live, would you spend it like you normally spend your weekends? If not, why spend 2/7th of your life wasting your free time? After all, free time isn’t free. Free time is the most expensive time you have, because nobody pays for it but you. But that also makes it the most valuable time you have, as you alone stand to reap the profits from spending it wisely.”
― Jarod Kintz, I Should Have Renamed This

“To Do Today, 1/17/08
1. Sit and think
2. Reach enlightenment
3. Feed the cats”
― Jarod Kintz, I Should Have Renamed This

“Time is such a waste of time to think about, because the longer you ponder it, the more of it you lose. And before you know it, you don’t know it, because you are nothing but dusty worm food.”
― Jarod Kintz, I Should Have Renamed This

“I’m reminded of Orville Tethington, inventor of the world’s first steam-powered fog machine. He’s also the guy who, after the Germans invented the flame thrower in WWI, decided to counteract it with his own creation, the candle thrower. The candle thrower was only battle tested once, and after fifteen minutes the war zone was littered with lit candles. Upon returning home after the war, some of the soldiers suffered such extreme and bizarre cases of PTSD that anytime a civilian lit a match or used their lighter, the soldiers would hit the ground and start singing “Happy Birthday.”
― Jarod Kintz, I Should Have Renamed This

“Sometimes I get depressed about my age. In March I’ll be 26. If man weren’t measured in numbers, but rather letters, I’d be turning Z. And then I’d be dead.”
― Jarod Kintz, I Should Have Renamed This

“Because even among contrarians, I’m a contrarian. But all of this is just words of bronze, third place rhetoric. What do I really mean when I say we want to shock society into awareness? Do we mean we want more originality and individuality? Less TV, more reading, writing, actual thinking? Less sheep, more shepherd pie? Yes, yes, and a little more pie, please. Oh, and some more sweet tea, too”
― Jarod Kintz, I Should Have Renamed This

“I had to quit my taxi cab driving job because I had no way to get to work. The problem was I kept calling myself to come pick me up.”
― Jarod Kintz, I Should Have Renamed This

“I also should have come up with a product description.”
― Jarod Kintz, I Should Have Renamed This