Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91. Quotes

“Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“We had an unspoken love for one another. Probably because she’d never talk to me or return my phone calls or texts.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That’s life. That’s love. That’s fiscally irresponsible.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“Love is inaudible—until you hear it. And once you do, you’ll never forget the sound of her voice.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“The only time I drink milk is when I drink coffee. I make love the same way—contributing 2% as I just sort of lay there.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“We made love like green is blue. That’s because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“In bed, I can go for hours. Oh yes, I love naps.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“Love is like encountering a forest and having to chop down every tree but one. Oh, and you have to chop down each tree by hugging it until it falls.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“Love is the point where Yes meets Yesterday, and that's why I put the No in Now.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“She told me she loved me. She told me a lot of things. Some of those things were true, and some of those may or may not have been true. It’s kind of hard to tell, because to be honest, I wasn’t listening.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“I love like I’m thirsty. Can I offer you a tall glass of Sahara sand?
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she didn’t have enough time to have sex with me.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“Love is meant to be sipped, rather than chugged, like a glass of wine you drink strait from the bottle.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“I make love like never, only less often.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy.
”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

“I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it’s a 5-point scale, though I asked her on a 1-100 scale.

”
― Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.