MODULE 4 TELEVISION TRANSCRIPTS

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LEARNING LANGUAGES
Walter

WHAT MAKES A GOOD LEARNER?

Jean Vivo en Inglaterra, en una casa con jardn, en el campo a cincuenta kilmetros de Londres ... I'm Jean. I work at the Northern Bank. I want to be a manager, but I can only speak English. It is important for my work to speak two languages. So I'm learning Spanish. Excuse me. Walter That's Jean. She's on lesson eleven. Buen viaje. I'm Walter. I'm married to Jean. Do you remember the Alcazar in Seville - all those small streets with the beautiful white houses and patios? Jean Walter! Walter What? Jean Could you be quiet, please? I'm trying to study. Walter I'm sorry. Jean and I went to Spain when we got married. We had a good time. but Jean couldn't speak much Spanish. Jean Walter! I can't concentrate. I'm trying to learn the grammar. Yo quiero, t quieres ... Walter Ha! Grammar! You don't need grammar. You need to use the language every day with Spanish people. You should find someone who can speak Spanish and practise with them. Jean Of course you need grammar. Walter. But you need other things as well. You have to learn the rules of pronunciation. And you have to listen. And, yes, you have to speak the language whenever you can. And you need quiet so that you can study! Walter I'm sorry. Pom, pom, pa pom pom ... Jean Excuse me! Walter Pom, pom, pa pom ... Yes? Jean Could you stop singing, please? Walter Shhh! Jean Could I finish this lesson, please? Walter OK. Hermoso espaola . . . hermoso. Spanish is a beautiful language. Beautiful. I can speak a little Spanish. Jean tries very hard. She wants to be a manager at the bank. She studies her Spanish books every day. She listens to the cassette again and again. She tries hard with the pronunciation. Some people are good at languages and some people are not good at languages. Jean Walter, why don't you learn Spanish? Walter Me? Jean Yes, you. Walter No. Jean Why don't you want to learn? Walter I can speak Spanish. Jean Really? Say something. Walter Buenos tardes, seorita. Jean Yes . . . Can you say anything else? Walter, I know what we ought to do . . . We can learn Spanish

Jean Walter Jean Walter

Jean Walter Jean Jean Oscar Jean Oscar

Jean Oscar

Walter

together. It'll be fun. We can learn the vocabulary and the grammar together. We can practise every evening. We can go to classes together. You can't learn good Spanish in England. Its impossible. Of course you can! You can learn any language, anywhere, if you want to. You can't learn Spanish out of a book. Why not? Babies don't learn to speak English from a book. How do babies learn to speak? They listen to the words and they watch what people do and then they do it. They watch the different expressions and gestures. No. The way to learn Spanish is to talk to Spanish people. Or to other people who are learning Spanish. Yes. Yes, youre right. I ought to talk to Oscar. Oscar? Why? Because Oscar can speak Spanish. *** It's no good. I can't remember the Spanish words. Dnde? Dnde? Please use the dictionary. It's very simple! If you don't know a word. or really can't remember it, just look it up in the dictionary! Oh, Oscar, I'm just not very good at languages. I make mistakes. I forget the rules. People don't understand what I say ... Jean, everyone can learn a language. Keep working. It takes time. And everyone makes mistakes. How are you going to learn if you don't make mistakes? just keep speaking and thinking about what you are saying all the time. You speak very good Spanish, Oscar. Thank you. But it wasn't easy for me. I went to classes for two years. Sometimes I thought it was impossible for me to speak the language. But I needed to speak Spanish, so I practised every day. And I always read Spanish books and newspapers. You should do that too. And when I didn't understand what people said, I said, 'Could you say that again, please? *** Well, OK. I was wrong. After nine months' hard work, Jean passed her Spanish exam. And she's got a new job at the bank. She's now manager of the Bureau de Change. I think I ought to learn another language. It can't be too difficult. Can it?

ALL ABOUT LEARNING ENGLISH

Street interviews Mel I learned German at school. Mark I speak Italian. Parlo italiano. I lived in Italy for a year., so naturally people were speaking Italian all around me. Joni I learned Spanish at school, but I don't think the

Barbara

Barbara Matt Joni Mark John Chris

teaching was very good. There were lots of textbooks and very little conversation. I learned Italian. Buon giorno. I listened to the tapes on my Walkman when I was cooking, ironing ... Every day I listened to the tapes, whatever I was doing. *** You must practise even, day'. I'm learning Japanese. Konichiwa. I practise Japanese every day. Hola! I speak Spanish, and for me it's important to visit the country and to talk to people. If there's a word you don't understand,. look it up in the dictionary, write it down and then repeat it until you really know it. It's really important to practise every day and try to practise the language, with other students. Well, I think you should try and learn one word every day.

Street interviews Fraser I usually read newspapers and I write down words on small pieces of paper, and then I read them on the train again and again and again. John When I'm learning a new word, I listen to it on a cassette to check the pronunciation, and I always look it up in the dictionary to check the spelling. Song time I love grammar Ooh, I love that do and don't. Ooh. I love that will and won't. I love saying have and has. Grammar is as hot as jazz! Two, four, six, eight, I love grammar, grammar's great. Eight, six,, four, two, I love grammar, how about you? Ooh, I love that can and can't. Ooh, I love that are and aren't. I love saying does and do, 'Cos grammar is as sweet as you.

The ad spot Johnny Excuse me, sir. Can you speak Spanish? Excuse me, madam. Do you want to speak Spanish? Well, now you can. You too can speak excellent Spanish with this new Spanish dictionary. It's got over forty thousand words. It's got the spellings. It's got the pronunciation. It's got nouns, verbs and adjectives. It's got abbreviations. And have a look at this, ladies and gentlemen ... this dictionary goes from A to Z. For only five pounds, you can learn Spanish from this new Spanish dictionary. It's the best. It's the cheapest and it's got the most words. It's got short words. Long words. Strange words. It's got easy words and it's got difficult words, and they are all, ladies and gentlemen, in alphabetical order. For just five pounds you can speak Spanish. Lucinda iHola, guapo! Johnny Wappo ... wappo ... Don't make me laugh! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the funniest man in the world, Danny Dodds! Danny Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. I have a son. He's a wonderful little boy. Well, not so little now -he's seventeen. He's at college - a clever lad, and very interested in languages. He asked me to pay for three language courses - 50 for French, 50 for Spanish and 200 for Scotch. Get it? Do you understand? 200 for Scotch? Scotch whisky? Never mind. I'm quite good at languages too, you know. Really, I am. I speak three languages - fair French, good German and Great Britain. Fair French, good German and Great Britain! My son had examinations at college last week. He was very worried about them. He worked night and day, night and day. After the examinations I asked him., 'Son, how were the exam questions?' He said, 'Dad, the questions were easy, but the answers were difficult.' The questions were easy, but the answers were difficult. Get it? No? The questions were easy, but the answers were difficult

DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) Edinburgh. A wonderful city for tourists and a perfect place for students of English. Gary (VO) This is Nuria Lpez. She's twenty-three, Spanish. In 1991 she came to Edinburgh, because she's got some family here. She is studying tourism and English. She's one of the many Spanish students who decided to learn English in the United Kingdom. Nowadays English is necessary to get a job. Nuria When I was younger, I wasn't very interested in English. But about three years ago I did a course on tourism in Spain and I had to do a three months' work experience in a hotel. So it was there when I realized that English was very important for my professional life. So I decided I had to come here to learn English Sara (VO) As any student, Nuria had problems at the beginning: it was difficult to understand British people. But after a time that was no problem. Sara It's important to find a good school to learn English. But what you learn at school is not enough. You have to learn many things by yourself. Nuria Well, when I arrived here, my level wasn't very good, so it was difficult to understand people. I used to carry a pocket dictionary with me, and also read English newspapers, watch TV, television; listen to the radio is very useful as well and read children's books, because I think they are quite easy to understand. Gary (VO) Nuria understood that the best way to learn a language is talking to people. At the school where she studies there are many young people from different countries learning English. Using English in the group is one way of helping each other learn English and it is also more interesting. But Nuria has also lots of friends

outside school. Nuria It's very important to get to know English people, and you can do so by going to parties, taking part in college activities, going to pubs, going to the cinema, for example, and also going to "keilies", which are the typical Scottish parties. Sara If you study in a foreign country you can get to know a very different culture. Nuria sometimes goes to a club in the centre of Edinburgh where you can dance typical Scottish dances. So she learns and enjoys herself at the same time. There are people who do not speak English because they think they'll make mistakes. This is not a good strategy. Nuria I think it's a very bad strategy, because to learn a language you have to speak it. It doesn't matter if you make mistakes, because you learn from mistakes. Gary (VO) The local pub is a useful place for the students of English. Nuria often comes here to talk with her friends. They help her to learn new words. A conversation over a pint of beer can be a good learning strategy. Obviously there are others. Nuria Some strategies are, for example, speaking in English whenever you can, watching television, listening to the radio, reading newspapers and books, and maybe listening to English songs you like and trying to understand the words. Of course, these techniques are general, and depending on the person, some will work better than others. Sara (VO) Learning English in Great Britain means you are completely surrounded by English. It is important to keep your eyes and ears open, as Nuria does. This is the way to use your time effectively. Nuria So as you can see, learning English is not so difficult. Here I am. So remember: work hard and go ahead.

Mrs Hillier Walter Mrs Hillier Jean Mrs Hillier Jean Mrs Hillier Jean Mrs Hillier Jean Mrs Hillier Jean

Mrs Hillier Jean Mrs Hillier Jean Mrs Hillier Jean Mrs Hillier Jean Mrs Hillier Jean Mrs Hillier Jean

Mrs Hillier Jean Mrs Hillier Jean

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WHO DOES WHAT AT HOME?

DAILY LIFE IN THE HOME

Mrs Hillier Hello, Mrs Reynolds. I'm Mrs Hillier. We spoke on the phone last week. You agreed to answer some questions. Jean Oh, yes. Mrs Hillier Five years ago, our company did a survey of fifty women in the area. Do you remember? We asked you some questions about the work you and your husband did in the house. Jean Ah, yes. Mrs Hillier We would like to find out how things have changed. We want to find out about the way roles have changed in the family. Jean Oh, yes, of course. Come in. Sit down, please. Please excuse the mess. Walter, why haven't you vacuumed the carpet or tidied up yet? Walter It's Wednesday today. It's your turn. Would you

Gran Jean Mrs Hillier Jean Gran

like a cup of tea, Mrs ... ? Hillier. Yes, I'd love one, thank you. Sugar? One sugar, please. And I'd like a cup of tea, please, Walter. This will only take ten minutes. Five years ago you were married to Walter. Yes, I'm still married to Walter. And you had a nine-year-old son, Richard. He's fourteen now ... Do you have any more children? No. I dont want any more. Walter would like four or five. And Walter was a full-time teacher at the local college. Yes, he's still there. But five years ago he used to teach thirty hours a week. Then lie taught for twenty hours each week. but now he only teaches eighteen hours a week. He says it's because of the computers. Yes. Right. Five years ago you were at home all the time. Yes, then I went back to work three years ago when Richard started secondary school. Where do you work? I work at the Northern Bank. How many hours a week do you work? I work from nine oclock in the morning to five o'clock in the afternoon. And Saturdays? On Saturdays I work from nine to one o'clock. What do you do at the bank? I'm a manager in the Bureau de Change. Now, five years ago you did all the shopping for the family. Is that right? Yes, I did, and it was hard work. We only had one car in those days, and Walter used to take it to work, so I had to carry everything up from the local shops at the bottom of the hill. Who does the shopping now? We both do the shopping now. We drive to Dozen's on a Saturday. I'm sorry. Where? Dozen's. The new hypermarket. It's about fifteen miles away, but it's marvellous. They have everything there. It's the largest shopping mall in the area. It's quite cheap. But you don't save any money. You have to pay, for petrol. *** Oh, excuse me. This is Gran. Well, Richard calls her Gran. She's Walter's mum, actually. Hello. Do you do the shopping every week together? No. We don't do it every week. We go about once every other Saturday.. I used to buy fresh vegetables from the shop at the bottom of the street, but all those local shops have closed down now. I miss the local shops. I used to enjoy a chat with the butcher and the baker.

Jean But the hypermarket is convenient. And it's always open on Sundays. Mrs Hillier Five years ago you did the cooking Jean I did. I used to cook every meal. A cooked breakfast and supper every day. Mrs Hillier Do you still do all the cooking? Jean No. I cook most of the meals. I always do the breakfast. Gran When Walter was a boy, I used to give him a good cooked breakfast before he went out, but now they just have coffee and toast. A good breakfast is important. Jean We take it in turns to cook the evening meal. Gran Of course, I used to cook everything fresh. I used to get it out of the garden. Now they normally buy frozen, pre-cooked food. Jean Five years ago we didn't have the freezer or a microwave. Now we can't live without them. We just don't have the time to peel potatoes and cook pastry. The microwave is marvellous. It's so quick. Gran But I don't think frozen food from the microwave tastes as good, do you? Jean Gran! I'm sorry. Mrs Hillier Mrs Reynolds, who does the washing up in your household? Jean We have a dishwasher. We both load the dishwasher, but Walter always loads it the wrong way. I normally wash up the saucepans during the week and Walter normally does it at the weekends. But he's so slow! He takes hours! Where is that tea? Mrs- Hillier Five years ago you used to do all the cleaning and housework. Has that changed' Jean I still do most of the housework. Walter I cleaned the bathroom yesterday, and after that I washed the kitchen floor. Jean You didn't wash the floor properly. Walter I normally put the rubbish out, and I always do the gardening, and I usually make the beds in the morning ... Jean You don't do the dusting. Walter I take the children to school everyday. I do more housework than you. Mrs Hillier Well, thank you very much for the tea ... and for your time. Jean Who does the ironing? Walter You don't iron my shirts any more. Jean You ought to iron your own shirts. Mrs Hillier It has been most interesting. Thank you.

Mrs Smart Robin Thelma

most of the cooking, and my children make most of the mess. I do all the housework in my house my husband doesn't do anything. I live alone, so I do all of the housework. Well. I'm very lucky. My husband and I share the housework completely. He does half and I do half.

Don't make me laugh! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the funniest man in the world, Danny Dodds! Danny Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. I've had a bad week. This week has been very bad. My wife and I - all week we've had an argument about who does the washing up. Years ago, life was very different. Do you remember? There were no machines to wash the dishes or the clothes. There were no machines to clean the floor. But now my wife has found something that cooks, cleans and washes. And do you know what it's called? It's called a husband. Do you get it? My wife has found something that cooks. cleans and washes. It's called a husband. But my children are wonderful. You know they're not afraid of anything ... except the washing up. Oh, thank you very much, madam. I like washing up. I do the washing up all the time. Washing up isn't dangerous. Wives don't kill their husbands while they're doing the washing up! Do you understand? Wives don't kill their husbands while they're doing the washing up. You know, every morning I get up at six o'clock. I always get up at six o'clock. At nine o'clock I go to the supermarket. But I don't always do the shopping. Yesterday my son went to the supermarket to do the shopping. But he's no good. He squeezed the tomato cans to see if they were fresh. He squeezed the tomato cans to see if they were fresh. The ad spot Lucinda Peter's teacher is angry. She says Peter's clothes are dirty. Look at Peter's shirt. I don't know how I'm going to get it clean. Look at it. There is egg here. This is mud - dirt. He got that at school. My washing powder can't remove mud. And this is his lunch ... here. How am I going to get Peter's shirt clean? Oh! What is this? New Fab washing powder? This looks good. But can it remove the mud from Peter's shirt? I don't think so . . . Yes, it can! Look. Look at this shirt! Its really white - as white as snow! I used to use this washing powder. Well, I wont use it again! Yes, Fab washing powder does make your shirts whiter than white. I am surprised. Son Mum, have you seen my blue shirt? Street interviews Robin Yesterday, I did the washing up, the cooking and the cleaning. Barbara Yesterday, I made some cakes and did some ironing. What a boring day!

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

Street interviews Fraser My wife does all the housework, but yesterday I did clean the bathroom. Joni I do the washing and the cleaning, and my husband does all the cooking. He's a great cook. Mark My wife and I both work, and so we share the housework. John I do most of the cleaning, and my wife does

Joni Yesterday, I did the vacuuming and lots of ironing, and my husband cooked a really beautiful meal - it was fresh vegetables and fish. It was delicious. Thelma Well, yesterday I was at work, and so my husband did most of the housework. He did some ironing and he did some hoovering, and I cooked the evening meal. Song time Everything has changed He used to start the morning at a quarter to ten. He used to yawn and stretch And then go back to sleep again. He used to have his breakfast when the afternoon began, But everything has changed now, 'cos he's a married man. Now, it's Get up early, Make the breakfast, Take the kids to school! Do the washing up, then tidy up! You know the rule! And when-you've washed the clothes, it's time to vacuum the floor, And don't forget the shopping, dear, then get the kids at four. He used to visit friends and neighbours in the afternoon, And in the evening used to sit and sing romantic tunes. He used to dance all night until the new day began, But everything has changed now, 'cos he's a married man.

should call him a midwife or a midhusband. Paul 'Midwife' is an old English term which means with woman' and is therefore non-sexist. It doesn't apply to me as a man and I am a midwife. Gary We saw him attending his patients... Sara (VO) And we felt curious about what the women thought when they saw the midwife was a man. Paul Usually the women I look after I've already delivered their babies before, so there's no problems. But if women come to me for the first time, they walk into the room and it may be difficult for them to understand whether I'm a midwife or a doctor because we don't wear a uniform. Gary (VO) And our last question was: Why did you choose to be a midwife? Paul I didn't choose to be a midwife, the job chose me. I had worked before in Australia and I came back to this country to train as a nurse. After that I went on to train as a midwife. And being a midwife is very different from being a nurse. And it is something that is really wonderful. Sara (VO) Paul's patients seemed to be very pleased with him.

DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) Here lives a woman with a profession which doesn't exist in Spain. Sally is a woman priest. Sara (VO) She's one of the first women priests in the Church of England. Gary (VO) We asked Sally to tell us about her daily routine. Sally I get up at about half past seven. I don't like to get up early. At nine o'clock we say prayers together in my church and in the morning there are a number of things I could do: to go and visit someone who is ill in hospital or to go to school to take a service for the children. In the afternoon I might write a sermon or do some of my paperwork. In the evening we have meetings. Sara (VO) We went with her to her church... Gary (VO) We attended part of the religious ceremony. We asked her how she felt working with men... and what her male colleagues thought about it. Sally I've been very lucky working with male colleagues who think that this is a good idea. Sometimes some men priests are a little unhappy. Gary (VO) We also felt curious about knowing how people react when they see the priest is a woman. Sally Sometimes people are a little surprised that there are nearly one thousand women ministers in the Church of England. But usually that surprise turns to pleasure that women are priests now as well. Sara (VO) We came to this hospital to interview a male midwife. This is a job usually done by women in the United Kingdom and in Spain. Gary (VO) The first question we asked him was if we

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THE FIRST DATE

PERSONAL EXPERIENCES
day. It's our wedding anniversary. Last year I forgot our anniversary. Jean was very angry. It was almost the end of our marriage. This year I haven't forgotten. I've bought a card. Happy anniversary. To my darling Jean. Love Walter. When we got married, I bought Jean a ring. Jean has always worn the ring. Then, two months ago, I saw the ring wasn't on her finger. It wasn't there! Where was it? I thought she didn't love me! Finally, Richard Richard is our son - Richard told me that the ring was missing. While I was shopping in town yesterday, I saw this ring. It's more beautiful than the wedding ring. What do you think? Do you like it? Jean and I met sixteen years ago. I was a teacher at St Luke's College. It was my first year at the college. . . .

Walter Tomorrow is the 4th of September. It's an important

Jean Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary. We got married fifteen years ago. A long time ago. Walter forgot our wedding anniversary last year. When I was a student at college Walter Reynolds was my teacher. When I left college, I had a party. I liked Walter, so I invited him to the party. While everyone was dancing, Walter was reading a book. He was reading a book at my party! I said. 'Hello'. He said ... Walter Hello, Mary. Jean He called me Mary! Then I asked him, 'Would you like some wine?' Walter Yes. I'd love some wine. Jean 'Do you like my party?' I asked. Walter Yes. Jean ... he said, as he was reading the book. Next I asked

him, 'Would you like to dance?'

Walter Jean Walter Jean No, thank you. And then I asked him, 'Do you like going to the cinema?' Yes. Finally I asked him, 'Would you like to go to the cinema with me?' That's when he put his book down. We met the next evening.

Joni I met my husband ten years ago at university and we were friends for a long time - about eight years - but last year we got married. The ad spot Lucinda Ah, the smell of Paris by Night! So romantic! So exciting! I was alone in Paris. I was sitting in a cafe. I asked the waiter for a cup of coffee. When he came back with the coffee, he had a letter for me. Who was the letter from? I didn't know. I looked around the cafe. Then I saw him. He was smiling at me. I smiled at him. The handsome stranger came to my table. Stranger What perfume are you wearing? Lucinda ... he asked. 'Paris by Night,' I said. He looked into my eyes. He took my hand and we walked off into the night. We stood by the River Seine. Stranger My darling. Lucinda Mon cheri. Then we heard shouts. We saw the waiter. He was angry. Waiter Madame! Lucinda ... he shouted ... Waiter You haven't paid for your coffee! Lucinda Ah, Paris by Night! The perfume's so romantic. So exciting. Song time Ooh, aah, ooh, aah While I was walking home last night, I saw a ghost - completely white. This ghost was coming down the street, He had no hands, he had no feet. His face was round just like the moon, And as he went, he sang this tune: Ooh, aah, ooh, aah, it's your turn soon. While I was walking up the stairs, The awful ghost was waiting there. I turned and shouted, 'Leave my home. Please go, I want to be alone.' And now, afraid and cold. I lie in bed And wait and watch and cry, Ooh, aah, ooh, aah, don't want to die. The Hunts Mr Hunt Mrs Hunt Harriet Eleanor Charlotte Mrs Hunt Mr Hunt Mrs Hunt Mr Hunt Mrs Hunt Mr Hunt Mrs Hunt Mr Hunt Mrs Hunt I'm John Hunt. and this is my wife, Bronwen. This is my daughter, Harriet. This is my sister. Eleanor. This is my sister. Charlotte. And this is my Dad. *** We met in 1967 and we married in 1969. Yes, that's a long time ago! I was living in Bushey when I met John. And I was living in Rickmansworth. Two years after I met John, I decided to marry him. I was waiting inside the church for Bronwen. It was a wonderful wedding. I was wearing this wedding dress. My mother made my wedding dress. And I wore a suit. After our wedding, we went away on honey-

***
Walter Jean Walter Jean Walter Jean Walter Jean Walter Jean Walter Jean Walter Jean I remember it well. We met at seven. We met at eight. I think we went to see an old film by Buuel. We saw Casablanca. When the film was over, we went to a cheap Indian restaurant. After the film, we had an Italian meal. It was very expensive. Ah, I remember it well. Yes, she wore jeans and a shirt. I wore a beautiful blue dress. Then the next weck he telephoned me. He asked me to go for a walk in the park. It was a hot day. We walked in the park. I held his hand. She held my hand and then we sat by the lake. We talked and talked. We talked about great film makers. Buuel and Bergman. Waiter talked and talked. He wouldn't stop talking. It was very interesting. I wasn't listening. While he was talking about Buuel, I was looking into his eyes. I was thinking, 'Does he love me?' Finally I kissed him. Then she kissed me while I was talking! Three months later, Walter asked me to marry him. Well, no. I asked Walter to marry me. But I knew Walter loved me. We got married in St Luke's church. He bought me a ring. A beautiful ring. Two months ago, I lost the ring while I was shopping. I've looked for the ring everywhere.

***
Jean Happy anniversary, darling. Walter I have a present for you. Where's the ring? Where is it? I went to the shop. I bought the ring. The man in the shop put the ring in the box. Then I put the box in my briefcase. When I came home, I put the box on the table. First I wrote on the anniversary card, then I wrapped the box and put it in my briefcase. Where is the box? Have you seen it? Richard You put it in your jacket, Dad. It was in your jacket. Walter Happy anniversary, darling

TALKING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED

Street interviews Claire I met my husband at college. I was doing teacher training, and my husband was doing a degree in Sociology. Vivian I met my husband at a youth club where I was playing chess, and I won, and he asked me out. We got married three years later. Barbara I met my husband at a school concert. I was fifteen and he was seventeen. Robin I met my girlfriend at the local gymnasium. Matt I met Helen, my girlfriend, a few months ago, actually, in a local nightclub. John A friend introduced me to my wife about ten years ago, and about five years ago we got married.

moon. We went to Devon. Mr Hunt In 1973, we were living in another house in Bushey, and we bought this house in the same year. Mrs Hunt That was twenty-one years ago. Mr Hunt It was expensive, but we liked it very much. Mrs Hunt Harriet was born in 1977. Mr Hunt And Eleanor was born in 1979. Mrs Hunt And Charlotte was horn in 1981. Don't make me laugh! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the funniest man in the world, Danny Dodds! Danny Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. Are you married? My son got married three weeks ago. I told him, 'Son, get married early in the morning. Why should I get married early in the morning, Dad?' he said. 'Well,' I told him, 'if the marriage doesn't work, you haven't wasted the whole day.' I told him, 'Get married early in the morning, if the marriage doesn't work, you haven't wasted the whole day.' But he had a bad honeymoon, a very bad honeymoon. Rebecca, his wife, wanted to go to Spain, and he wanted to go to Scotland. They didn't speak for two weeks. Well, he was in Scotland, and she was in Spain. They didn't speak for two weeks. He was in Scotland ... she was in Spain. No, but it's a marvellous thing, marriage. All marriages are happy. Don't you think? It's living together afterwards that causes all the problems!

kinds of jobs. (VO) In 1610, rich and famous for his work, Shakespeare returned to Stratford. The house where he lived his last days and where he wrote his last plays was here, in these gardens. Six years later, in 1616, when he was fifty-two, Shakespeare died from an indigestion. It was the twenty-third of April of 1616. That same day, another genius of literature, Miguel de Cervantes, died in Spain. Shakespeare's grave is in Holy Trinity Church, where you can see the words he wrote for the epitaph. But Shakespeare is still very much alive in the theatre. Stratford is also the home of one of the most important classical theatre companies in the world: the Royal Shakespeare Company. At another theatre in the town, "the World of Shakespeare", there's an exhibition of costumes and characters from Shakespeare's time and from his most famous plays. Jaques "All the world's a stage. And all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts" ... As you like it. Act two, scene seven. My lines... The stage. This is our home. Here, with every performance, the characters of Shakespeare are born again. And so it will be for as long as theatre is alive. Farewell, dear friends.

DOCUMENTARY
(VO) Stratford-upon-Avon. A beautiful town in the centre of England. It's very famous because William Shakespeare was born here. Jaques "To be or not to be. That is the question. Whether tis' nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them ... Jaques Hello, friends! No, I'm not Hamlet, prince of Denmark. I've just borrowed his lines. Please allow me to introduce myself. My name's Jaques. Like Hamlet, I'm one of the characters created by the imagination of William Shakespeare. But I'm not here to talk about myself. I've come to talk about my creator, Shakespeare, who was born in this house. (VO) Shakespeare was born in this house in 1564. It's a typical house of the sixteenth century. For over two hundred years theatre lovers from all over the world have visited this house. When Shakespeare was a boy, his father used part of the house as a workshop, where he made gloves. Nowadays there's a museum of Shakespeare's life and work in the house. Shakespeare attended this school when he was a boy. This school had an excellent classical education in those days. Perhaps it was here where Shakespeare started reading the old Greek authors and where his interest in the theatre was born. Jaques Young William enjoyed reading, but he was adventurous. In 1586 he left Stratford for London. And in London he joined a theatre company where he did all

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HOME AND AWAY

HOLIDAY HOME
Walter We have seven days on our own with no children in a beautiful old house-. It's as romantic as our first holiday. Ah! The view is wonderful. Look at that view! The sunsets here are beautiful. Jean Walter, are there any chairs? Walter Chairs. Yes. Yes. Here's a chair. There are two chairs. Jean And where are the carpets? Walter Jean. this is a holiday home. You don't need carpets. Were on holiday. Jean Ughhhh! Who is that? Walter Dr Thomas Webb. He probably lived in this house a long time ago. Don't you like him? I think he looks friendly. Jean I hate him. He looks about as friendly as Dracula. I can't live with him for a week. Walter I'll get the suitcases from the car. I'd love a cup of tea, darling. Jean Hasn't the house got hot water? Walter Hot water! This isn't the city. This is the country. We don't need hot water. Jean How much is this house for the week? Walter The rent here is cheaper than the other holiday homes. Jean How much is it? Walter It's two hundred and fifty pounds. Jean That's more than the apartment in Malaga. And it's

Walter Jean Walter Jean Walter Jean Walter Jean Walter Jean Walter Walter Jean Walter Jean

Walter Jean Walter Jean Walter Jean Walter Jean Walter

smaller. Two hundred and fifty pounds is very expensive ... Jean, this house is over three hundred years old. Look at this tap ... I think he's crazy. I think this tap is beautiful. When I was a child, we had a tap like this. I hate modern taps. He is crazy! And this table is beautiful. They don't make tables as good as this any more. Look at that. Beautiful! There's no fridge. We don't need a fridge. And where's the TV? When I was a child, we didn't have hot water. We didn't have a TV and we didn't have a fridge, but we had the fresh air, we had the sea, the trees ... Walter, that was a long time ago. Where is the kitchen equipment? There's no kitchen equipment. There aren't any saucepans. Here are two saucers. Two saucers . . . and three plates ... and a fork. *** What's the matter? I hate going on holiday, in England. This is so depressing. It's rained all day. Don't you love the walks? No. I don't like walking. On holiday I like sitting in the sun. I work hard all year. I want to stay in a modern apartment in Spain. I like having a fridge, hot water, a shower. In the day I want to sit in the sun and swim. At night I like dancing in a nightclub. On holiday I like wearing shorts, a T-shirt and sunglasses. I don't like wearing jumpers in June ... Spain is warmer than here ... Oh, dear! Walter, did you hear that? What is it? I don't know. The noise is getting louder. It's over here. No, it's over there. It's getting closer. I think it's probably Dr Thomas.

but the walls are a bit thin. They're about this thin. Yesterday I asked my wife a question, and the woman in the next house answered. Do you get it? The walls are thin. Yesterday I asked my wife a question, and the woman in the next house answered. Do you understand? No? The walls of my house are so thin that ... Oh, never mind. But we've got running water in our house. Well, only when it rains. No, I'm joking. We have hot and cold running water. Hot in the summer and cold in the winter ... Hot and cold running water. Hot in the summer, cold in the winter. No? The stairs are dangerous too. They're like this. My brother fell down the stairs this morning, but it was all right. he was coming down anyway. We spend a lot of time at home, but my wife wants to travel. She wants to see the world, so I've bought her a map! Song time Come and sit with me I like sitting in the old armchair, Turning on the old TV, Warming my hands and my feet by the fire. Is there a nicer place to be? I can see the garden through the window. There are friendly pictures on the wall. There are children playing all around Be careful now, don't fall! I like sitting in the old armchair, Turning on the old TV, Warming my hands and my feet by the fire. Why don't you come and sit with me? The ad spot Johnny Ladies and gentlemen, look at this! Yes! It's the very latest thing. Have you got a lovely home? Have you got children, madam? Lucinda Yes. Johnny I love children too, but they get their shoes dirty and they come into the house. Do they take their shoes off? Lucinda No, they don't. They walk into the house with their dirty shoes on. Johnny So, they get dirt all over your new carpet. Do the children clean up the dirt from the carpet? Lucinda No, they don't. Johnny Who cleans the dirty carpet? Lucinda I do. Johnny Well, not now! This is the newest vacuum cleaner. It's called the Newton. It's so good even men enjoy using the Newton vacuum cleaner. Children adore using the Newton vacuum cleaner. Everyone wants to use it. It's fast and it's quiet - quieter than a mouse. Watch how easy it is to use. Has anyone got a broom? The Hunts Mrs Hunt This is the family room. I love this room. We all meet here in the evening. And this is my cooker. In the kitchen we've got a sink, we've got a dishwasher, we've got a washing machine and

HOME SWEET HOME

Street interviews Carol I really love my house. It's a cottage and it's very cosy and very comfortable. Barbara I love the furniture in my flat. I have a beautiful sofa. Robin I really like my living room. It's very cosy. John The room that I don't like is our kitchen - it's very small. Barbara I hate the bathroom. It has no windows. Don't make me laugh! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the funniest man in the world, Danny Dodds! Danny Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. Do you like your home? I love mine. It's a lovely house,

we've got a microwave. All mod. cons.! This is the sitting room. We bought the piano a long time ago. This is the family clock. I love the clock. This is another sitting room. It's bigger. We like watching TV in here. This is my collection of plates. I've collected plates for twenty years. I bought that one on holiday last year. I don't like these plates. I don't like the colours. I love this plate. It's beautiful.

best.
What I like best about the Docklands? It's the buildings, the way it's been built and the cleanness and the space. The fact this is so far from the City can be difficult to get to other parts of London. There are hardly any restaurants or bars. It is quite far away from the centre of London. That's it, really. What I dislike is no transport to get to work in the area and to go back home when you finish. There's no ... nothing around. Gary (VO) As you can see, there are all kinds of opinions.

DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) There's a new London and an old London. Next to the old London, a new London is being born. A city with modern buildings and tall skyscrapers. Sara (VO) Tower Bridge, in East London. Beyond this bridge, along the river Thames, we find the Docklands. It is the most important urban project of the twentieth century in the United Kingdom. Gary (VO) For many years, the Docklands were one of the biggest and most important ports in the world. In its warehouses there was produce from Asia, Africa, America ... But after World War II, the Docklands became one of the poorest areas in London. Sara (VO) In 1981, when Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister, the London Docklands Development Corporation was created. LONDON We were set up by the British government in DOCKLANDS July 1981 to regenerate this area. This area OFFICER was the old port of London. It had to move away some forty kilometres away to Tilbury, where they built a modern port and some five thousand acres was left behind and our job is to bring back new life to this area. Sara (VO) The Docklands Light Railway, a very modern train driven by computer connects all areas with the centre of London. Gary (VO) The Docklands was a poor depressed area in the Seventies. Today it is one of the most expensive areas in the world. Here's the best and the worst of English architecture of the Eighties. The old grey buildings stand side by side with modern houses made of steel and glass. Sara (VO) This doesn't please everybody. Many people don't like this big project. One of them is the Prince of Wales, a defender of traditional architecture. Sara (VO) But let's hear what the locals think. We asked some of them what they like and don't like about this new London. STREET I like the clean air and I like the buildings. INTERVIEWS They are very modern and I think they are very beautiful.

5
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THE RIGHT JOB

WHAT CAN I DO?

Nothing really, I'd say. What do I like best? That's a very difficult question. I think I like the buildings

Walter How is everything at home, Rosic? How are the kids? Rosie They're fine. They're back at school now. Walter And how are you? Rosie I'm fine, but Im bored with my job. Walter What job are you doing? Rosie I'm still working for the same small insurance company. Walter What do you do there? Rosie I'm the office manager ... but most of the time I do the typing, I make the tea, I answer the phone, I do the photocopying and the filing, I buy the stamps and post the letters. Jean Is the pay good? Rosie No, and last year I asked the boss for a pay rise. He offered me one per cent. The boss doesn't like me. Jean Why not? Rosie He thinks I'm too clever. Jean Too clever! Rosie Yes. I'm the only person in the office with a degree. Jean What are the other staff like? Rosie They're all men. All they talk about is money, and football. Jean How long have you been at this office? Rosie I've been there for two years. Every day is the same. Jean I think it's time to find another job. Rosie But what can I do? I studied Ancient History at university, and history isn't very useful when you're looking for a job. Why didn't I do engineering or media studies? Jean You could go to college and learn to be a teacher or ... Rosie No. I can't afford to go back to college. Walter There's an advertisement in the newspaper for a personal assistant for the editor of Glam, the fashion magazine. Rosie I don't know anything about the fashion industry. Jean It says, 'experience in the fashion industry is not important'. Rosie Really? Jean They want an intelligent person. It says, 'a university degree is essential'. They want 'a well-organised and

very efficient person to assist in the editor's office'. Rosie Hundreds of people try for those jobs in the fashion industry. Jean Yes, but you must apply. Can you use a word processor? Rosie Yes, I can. Jean Do you have a clean driving licence? Rosie Yes, I do. Jean Are you good with people? Rosie I don't know. Am I? Jean Yes, you are good with people. but you must be more confident. Rosie You must believe in yourself. *** Olivia I'm Olivia Preston. I'm the editor of the fashion magazine, Glam. Last week I advertised in the papers for a personal assistant. I've had hundreds of letters. I've already interviewed six applicants this afternoon, but none of them is right . . . Send in the last applicant. please . . . I'm tired. I want to go home . . . Rosie Trueheart? Hello. I'm Olivia Preston. She's old. I expected soineone younger. I want someone who can be flexible. Please sit down. The reference from her last employer isn't very good. Rosie, you're working at the Buxton Insurance Company. Are you happy there? Rosie What do I say? Do I tell her the truth? No. I'm afraid I'm not happy there. Olivia Why not? Rosie I'm the only woman and my male colleagues aren't helpful. Olivia Some of my male colleagues are the same. Rosie She thinks I can't get on with men. I bet most of her advertising clientes are male. Olivia What did you study at university? Rosie I studied Ancient History, I'm afraid. Olivia She's got a good degree. She's obviously intelligent. What did you do after university? Rosie She thinks I haven't got enough work experience. I brought up two children on my own. Olivia Oh! Really? She must be very efficient and well organised to bring up two children and go to work. How many words can you type a minute? Rosie I can type about ninety words a minute. Olivia How good is your spelling? Rosie My spelling is excellent. Olivia I've never been able to spell. Coffee? Rosie Black, please. Olivia Rosie, are you ambitious? I don't want a PA who is too ambitious. Madeleine was my last PA. She left last week. She got a very well-paid job on our rival magazine. I don't want someone like Madeleine as my PA again. I want someone who is loyal to me. Rosie Thank you. She thinks Im not ambitious enough. Ive spent the last two years in a dead-end job. She wants a dynamic, ambitious personal assistant. Can I lie to her? I'm afraid I'm not very ambitious. Olivia Hmmm. I like her. Would you like to have a look around the Glam offices? Rosie Yes, I'd love to. I wish my clothes were more fashionable

Olivia All the other applicants wore glamorous clothes to the interview. They dressed like Joan Collins. But I don't want a fashion model. I want a personal assistant ... someone like Rosie. Let's have a look around and I can introduce you to some of my staff.

MORE ABOUT JOBS

Street interviews Judy I am a secretary and I work part time at the local hospital. Mrs Smart I'm mainly a housewife, but I do help out at my husband's shop. Robin I'm a computer operator. I work for a large company Chris I'm a radiojournalist. I write the news for a local radio station. Joni I'm not working at the moment because I want to be at home with my children while they're very little, but it's the hardest work Ive ever done. The ad spot Lucinda Do you want to be successful? I know I do. Do you want to be the best typist in the office? Yes, of course you do! You all want your manager to say to you ... Manager Well done, Lucinda, this is very good work! This typing is very good. How do you do it. Lucinda? You are the best typist in the office. I wish all the typists in the office were as good as you! Lucinda I'm a modern girl, and I want to be the best. I've done a course in typing. Im a touch-typist and I'm very fast. So now I have the new Alder typewriter. It's very good. It's the newest typewriter. All the typists in my office want a new Alder typewriter. It's so easy to use. And so easy to carry home. So now I can work day and night. Ask your boss to buy you the new Alder typewriter. Don't make me laugh! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the funniest man in the world, Danny Dodds! Danny Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. Do you like work? I do. I love it. I could watch people work for hours. My wife works. She's a secretary. She loves her work - she loves the coffee breaks! She loves her work. She loves the coffee breaks. You don't work when you are on a coffee break that's the joke - oh, never mind. But my wife - my wife is a very good secretary. She can write in shorthand ... But it takes her a long time. Her boss asked her to take some dictation. Do you know what she said? She said, 'Where do I take it to?' She had a new manager last week. He said to her, 'How many words can you type a minute?' She said, 'Big ones or little ones?' Big ones or little ones! No, her typing has got a lot better . . . do you know, she can now type twenty mistakes a minute! Twenty mistakes a minute! Oh, well, please yourselves. Thanks very

much, ladies and ... cheers. Song time Working man Hey, working man, you work every day. Hey, working man, you work for a handful of pay. You can push, you can carry, you can build, you can mend, But what does it matter when you get to the end of the day? Hey, working man, you've worked all your life. Hey, working man, for your kids and your wife. You've worked and you've worked for Your neighbours and your friends, But what does it matter when you get to the end of your life? The Hunts Mrs Hunt I'm working at a dress shop about twelve miles from my home. I put clothes in the front of the shop. I'm called a window dresser. To be a window dresser, you need to be good with colours. You need to be artistic. I've got a qualification in display and design. I went to college thirty years ago. It's a part-time job. I work two days a week. and I only work in the morning. Its well paid. I enjoy the work. It's a perfect job for me.

Gary (VO)

Mara Jess Gary (VO)

Mara Jess

Mara Jess Sara (VO)

DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) Most Spaniards who travel to the United Kingdom are tourists. Some, the youngest, go there to study. But many go there to work. Over 70,000 Spaniards work in the United Kingdom. Sara (VO) These are Mara Jesus Cumming, Pepe Hernanz, and Juan Piris. They are Spanish and they've been working in Edinburgh for many years. Sara (VO) We went to talk to Juan Piris. Sara (VO) Juan Piris arrived in Edinburgh twenty years ago as a student of Medicine. Some time later he started working at the Hospital and the Medical Laboratory of the University of Edinburgh. Now he is Head of Department. Juan Piris I'm a pathologist. In Spain we are called "anatomopatlogos". My work consists of offering diagnosis and advice as to the appropriate treatment for patients, based on the study of biopsis specimens with a microscope. Sara (VO) Juan is a professional with a brilliant career. He has one of the highest jobs in his profession. But this is not always easy for a foreigner. We asked him: is it easy for a Spaniard to integrate? Juan Piris I think being a Spaniard has been a great help to me. In this country Spanish people are regarded as hard-working, open-minded and friendly. And in general we have very little problem integrating with the locals. Sara (VO) Juan is fully integrated in British society. But we wanted to know if he would like to return to Spain. Juan Piris After twenty years in Great Britain I am of course happy here. But I am Spanish through and through and I would welcome the

Pepe Hernanz Sara (VO) Pepe is now an important character in

opportunity to get back home and work for my people and enjoy with them the food, the drink and the company, which is so important in Spanish life. We asked another Spaniard working in Edinburgh the same questions. This is Mara Jesus Cumming. Mara Jess, would you like to go back to Spain?. That's a very difficult question. And sometimes I think. "Yes", I would like to go back to Spain but only if I could find the same kind of job that I have here. Mara Jess, or Dieca, as her friends call her, arrived in Edinburg in 1971. She finished her studies and she is now a teacher of Spanish at Stevenson College, a college for adult students. I work at Stevenson College in Edinburgh. I am a senior lecturer in foreign languages and my job consists partly of teaching Spanish and partly management and administration of the languages department. When I arrived here, it was twenty years ago, and it was not difficult to get a job. They wanted Spanish teachers because they wanted to teach languages other than French. When Pepe Hernanz arrived in Edinburgh, his first job was as a waiter. He saved enough money to open two Spanish restaurants, which are very popular in Edinburgh. I came to Edinburgh when I was twenty-four to work as a waiter. That was very hard.

Edinburgh's social life. He meets lots of people in his restaurant so he knows there's not much difference between the Scottish and the Spanish.
Pepe The Scottish people like Spaniards very much. Hernanz The open character of the Scottish goes very well with the Spanish character.

6
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THE BATTLE OF THE GENERATIONS

FAMILY MATTERS

Walter Richard, it's Gran. Go and open the door for her, please. Richard Oh, must I? I'm watching this. Walter Do as you're told. Now! Richard Hello, Gran. Gran Hello, dear, how are you? Walter Richard, come back here! You must help Gran with her bags. Richard OK. Gran You mustn't do that with my bags! You must be more careful! Richard OK, sorry, Gran. Walter Sorry about that. How are you? Gran I'm fine, thank you, dear. But you must speak to Richard about his manners. Walter Yes, Mother. You're right.

Gran Richard Gran Richard Walter Richard Gran Walter Gran Walter Gran Walter Gran

Gran Richard Gran Walter

Richard Walter Richard Walter Richard Walter Richard Walter Richard Gran Walter Gran Walter

*** What's that? It's my supper. Aren't you having supper with us, young man? No, Gran. I have to go out. You don't have to go out. Dad! Walter, he shouldn't have burger and chips for his supper. He must have fresh vegetables with his meals. I can cook him some cabbage and potatoes. Richard doesn't like cabbage. His mother ought to be at home to cook proper food for him. Jean is working. A mother should be at home. She likes her job and we need the money. In my day a mother used to stay at home. A good mother ought to stay at home and look after her family. *** You watch too much television, young man. It's not good for you. In my day, we didn't have television. We used to make our own entertainment. Yes, Gran. You should read more. It's important to read. Have you read Treasure Island? Walter. he mustnt watch TV all the time. He doesn't watch much TV. He has to do his homework, tidy his room, and iron his school clothes. Then he can watch TV, but some evenings he reads a book in his room. You ought to be proud of Richard. He does very well at school. He studies hard. He's a nice boy. He's got good friends. He's kind and he's generous. That's what's important. Can I go out now? You can go out, but you must be home by ten o'clock. Dad, I'll be back at eleven, I promise. No. Please, Dad. I said no. Eleven o'clock is too late. But I don't have to get up for school tomorrow. You must be back here by half-past ten. OK, Dad. Thanks. He mustn't argue with you, Walter. A father has to be strict. You didn't use to argue with your father, did you? No. Because I was afraid of him. He was too strict. No, he wasn't. You respected him, and that was good for you. You should tell Richard exactly what he can and can't do. Yes, Mum, but children don't have to be afraid of their parents. *** I have to talk to him. You must do more than talk to him, Walter! Perhaps something has happened to him. Sorry, Dad. I'm sorry. Richard! We've been very worried about you. You should tell him that he can't go out in the

evenings for a month! And no TV! Walter Mum, I want to talk to him first. Richard I'm really sorry, Dad.

HOUSE RULES

Street interviews John Well, we don't have many rules in our house, but our son, whos four and a half now, must always go to bed at the same time each evening, and he mustnt shout and he mustnt be rude to people. Barbara When my children were at home, we didn't have a lot of' rules, but they had to do their homework before they watched television. Joni One very important rule we have is that we tidy up at the end of every day, because the house gets very untidy with all of the baby's clothes everywhere. Song time Happy family You must stay in and you mustn't go out. You can't play music and you're not allowed to shout. You can't have friends here after nine, And you're not allowed to touch the car - it's mine! You must get up and you mustn't be late. You mustn't be untidy, that's something that I hate. You can't wear that, what about your hair? You're a terrible mess, now don't you care? Were a happy, family, a happy family, A happy, happy family, we're a happy family. We're a happy family, a happy family, A happy, happy family, we're a happy family. The ad spot Johnny Are your children bored? Do they want to go out every night dancing? Would you like your children to stay at home? Then buy the Watson radio. It's a wonderful radio. We listen to the radio all the time. We think it's very good. And our children like it too. They used to go out every night. They came home very late. Sometimes Alice, who is only twenty-six, didn't get home until nine o'clock at night. Parents have to know their children are safe and are at home. So, we bought the Watson radio. It's marvellous. Our children don't go out now. They enjoy staying at home. Now they ask me all the time ... Children Please, Daddy, can we listen to the radio? Johnny Even our dog Fido likes to stay at home. He loves the Watson radio. The Watson radio has everything. It has volume. It has lots of programmes. It has music and it has people talking. It's wonderful. Yes, children like to stay home and listen to the Watson radio. The Hunts Mrs Hunt My mother and father used to live in Wales. Then, ten years ago, they moved here to Bushey. Now they visit us every week. It's lovely to see them.

Walter Jean Walter Richard Walter Gran

Charlotte Grandma, Grandpa, what did you use to do when you were young? Jean We used to go country dancing. Charlotte I like dancing. Fred We used to listen to the radio when we were young. Charlotte I like watching television. Fred There was no television when we were young. Charlotte No television! Don't make me laugh! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the funniest man in the world, Dainny Dodds! Danny Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. My mother - my mother is a very difficult woman. I'm always bringing girls home to meet my mother. She hates them. I bring home tall girls -she hates them. Short girls - she hates them. Fat girls, skinny girls she hates them. English girls. Scottish girls, Italian girls, French girls - my mother hates them all! Thank you. madam. Well, I finally find this girl. It's incredible. She looks exactly like my mother. Same eyes, same hair, same nose - same personality! She's exactly like my mother. I bring her home - my father hates her. Thank you very much, thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.

the meal comes the wedding cake. Sara(VO) After the toasts come the jokes. Let's hear the best man. Gary (VO) After eating and drinking, everybody is happy. Now it's time to dance. Sara (VO) And the wedding finishes here. But let's hear the couple telling us how happy they feel. Bride Oh! I feel wonderful, I feel absolutely great. It's been super, really good. Bridegroom I suppose it hasn't totally, sunk in yet, but yeah, very happy at the moment. Hopefully that'll ... It's a very happy occasion and I've enjoyed it very much. Marriage so far, all six hours of it, has been fantastic. Bride OK, well, it's bye-bye for Scotland, from Scotland for now, and I hope you enjoy the programme. Bridegroom And I hope you enjoyed the wedding.

7
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WHAT IS HEALTH?
ALTERNATIVE HEALTH

DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) This is a British wedding. The first person to arrive is the bridegroom accompanied by the best man, a friend of the bridegroom. Sara (VO) As we are in Scotland, a piper plays a traditional Scottish song to welcome the guests. Gary (VO) This isn't the bride. She's not wearing white. Sara (VO) She's a bridesmaid. The bridesmaid is usually a close friend of the bride. Gary (VO) A bride can have several bridesmaids. One of the duties of a bridesmaid is to attend the guests. Sara (VO) Here's the bride, accompanied by her father. Gary (VO) They go into the church following the piper's music. Sara (VO) The ceremony begins. Gary (VO) ... and everybody sings, even the bride and the bridegroom. Gary (VO) And when the religious ceremony is over, they have to sign the official documents, as in Spain. Sara (VO) When they leave the church, it's time for the photographs. Gary (VO) When everybody has got a photograph to remember the wedding, the bride and the bridegroom leave. Sara (VO) And so do the guests ... To the reception, of course. Gary (VO) This is the restaurant. The guests have something to drink while they congratulate the couple. Sara (VO) And finally, time for lunch. Gary (VO) And as at any Spanish wedding, at the end of

Jean You've started work early this morning. Walter I couldn't sleep last night. So at four o'clock I got up and started work. Jean Oh, Walter, you poor thing. You need a good night's sleep. Walter Yes, you're right. Well, I slept for four hours. Jean That's not enough sleep! You need eight hours. Walter I don't think so ... Well, yes, you're right. Jean Walter, did you go to see Dr Radcliffe yesterday? Walter Yes. Jean What did he say? Walter He wasn't there. He's gone. There's a new doctor there. A woman. Dr Brown. She examined me for a minute or so and then she said . . . 'hmm'. Jean What does 'hmm' mean? Walter I don't know. Then she wrote out a prescription for some medicine. Jean What medicine? Walter I don't know. I couldn't read the prescription. Jean Didn't you ask her what was wrong with you? Walter No, I didn't. Jean Why not? Walter She was busy. She had a waiting room full of patients. *** Roz Ive got strawberry tea. peppermint tea or camomile tea. Jean Camomile tea. Thank you. Roz, you've studied Chinese medicine, haven't you? Roz Yes, I've studied acupuncture. Jean Do you think Chinese medicine is as good as Western medicine? Roz I think it is, but some people disagree. Western doctors often look at a patient's symptoms. but not at the real illness. We need to look at the way people live: what they eat and drink, how much exercise they do, how much stress they have. Jean Can you help Walter, Roz? He can't sleep. He has a lot of stress at work.

Does he smoke? Yes. Does he do any exercise? Well ... he walks to the car every morning. Does he eat healthy food" Sometimes. But when he has stress at work, he eats the most unhealthy food. He eats chips ... hamburgers ... pizzas ... chocolate. Roz They're bad for you. What vitamins does he take? Jean Vitamins! He doesn't take any vitamins. Roz Jean, Walter really has to change his lifestyle. Jean, has Walter tried aromatherapy? Jean What's that? Roz The smell of essential oils from plants and flowers is good for stress. It's very effective, Jean. Aromatherapy helps you to relax. Jean I think Walter should see you, Roz. *** Walter I'm back, darling. I've got the supper. Jean We eat too much fried food. It's unhealthy. Walter What are you doing? Jean This food is rubbish. I'm putting it in the rubbish bin. Walter And what are these? Jean These are sunflower seeds. We're going to have a nice green salad. Walter Have you gone mad? We always eat fish and chips on Friday night. What are these? Jean Vitamins. Walter Vitamins? You have gone mad. Jean I've been talking to Roz. Walter Roz? Jean Our new neighbour. She practises alternative medicine. Walter Alternative medicine! Look, doctors have to spend six years at medical school, and they have to pass very difficult exams before they're qualified. Your Roz has read a couple of books on Chinese medicine and she thinks she's a qualified doctor ... Jean She told me about aromatherapy. Walter Aromatherapy! Jean That cough's bad, Walter. It's worse than before. I'm going to call Roz. Oh, poor Walter. Walter It's the worst it's been. I'm going to phone Dr Brown. Jean Bless you! *** Walter Dr Brown. I need some more pills for my cough. My wife, - she thinks that I should stop eating fried food. She thinks that I should stop smoking. She thinks that I should drink less. She thinks I need more sleep. She thinks I need a 'healthier lifestyle' . . . Roz She's right. Walter She thinks ... What? You agree with her? Roz Yes. I do. I agree with her completely. You don't need more pills. You need a healthier lifestyle. Walter Oh, well . . . What do you think of aromatherapy'? My wife thinks ... Roz I think it's very interesting. Perhaps you should try it. Walter But, Doctor ... Roz Please call me Roz. Roz Jean Roz Jean Roz Jean

Walter Roz? Roz? Roz!

A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE

Street interviews Joni I don't do enough, but I try to cat lots of vegetables, white meat, like chicken, and fish. But I don't do enough exercise. Robin I play badminton, basketball and tennis and I have a very healthy diet. Barbara I eat the right foods - white meat, fish, salads, fresh fruit and vegetables. Song time A very special diet I eat too little, I hate cream cakes, I hate everything the baker bakes. The butcher hates me 'cos I eat no steaks. When I look at food, my stomach aches. I want to be fat, I've got a very special diet. I'm going to be huge, I know it's hard, but I'm going to try it. All I have to do is find an elephant and buy it, And mix with herbs and lots of oil, And pepper and salt and fry it. It's a very, very, very special diet. Don't make me laugh! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the funniest man in the world, Danny Dodds! Danny Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. How's your health, madam? No, don't laugh. Your health is very important. You know, every morning I wake up at six ... I wake up at six o'clock every morning ... and then I go back to sleep for another three hours. My wife is on the onion and garlic diet. Have you heard of the onion and garlic diet? Well, she's lost three kilos and all her friends. She's lost all her friends - she's lost all her friends because she's been eating onions and garlic ... Oh, never mind. My wife said she wasn't feeling well last week. Hmm! Then I saw her jumping up and down. I said, 'Why are you jumping up and down like that?' She said. 'I forgot to shake the rnedicine bottle. No? But I never understand the television advertisements. The adverts say, 'Take aspirin for a headache'. Who wants to get a headache? I'd like to finish on a song, ladies and gentlemen ... hit it ... The Hunts Mrs Hunt I try to buy fresh vegetables, fruit and meat every day. They're all good for you. My mother used to say that every meal should have 'meat and two veg'. Meat with two kinds of vegetables. Our family has always been healthy, and I think that's because we take plenty of exercise and we eat the right food. When I buy packaged foods, I always look carefully at the contents. I don't like to buy foods with too many additives. I'm making a fresh vegetable and beef casserole. I use parsnips, carrots, swede, onion, red and

green peppers, fresh red meat because it's full of protein and iron. Then a dash of salt and pepper, some garlic and some stock. The ad spot Johnny Ladies and gentlemen, how are you feeling today? Do you feel ill? Or have your children got colds? Or has your mother got the flu? Don't worry! Here's some advice. Buy a bottle of Dr Wong's famous medicine. Do you want to give up smoking? Man Mmm, yes, I do. Johnny Then try Dr Wong's famous medicine. Do you want to improve your memory? Then try . . . Dr Wong's famous medicine. And you, sir? Is work difficult? Man Uh-huh. Johnny Is there too much stress in the office? Man Uh-huh Johnny Why not try Dr Wong's famous medicine? You, madam. Would you like to look younger? Yes, of course you would. Then try Dr Wong's famous medicine. It's the most remarkable medicine in the world. One bottle of Dr Wong's famous medicine doesn't cost five pounds. I am not asking for four pounds, I'm not even asking for three pounds. I'm giving it away for two pounds a bottle. And, for you, madam ... You can have five bottles for ten pounds.

music because they're interested in that. Sara (VO) This is the ceramics room. At the college there are people of all ages and social classes, as the principal explained. Principal Students come to the college from the age of eighteen. And the top age is any age. The oldest student is ninety-three years old. Students are from all walks of life and come from all parts of London, from members of the House of Lords to unemployed local people living around the college. Sara (VO) The music lesson is really interesting. This is one of the reasons why people come to Morley College, but the principal gave us other reasons. Principal I think people come to the college for a lot of reasons. Some come because it's an opportunity for them to meet other people and form a sort of social club where they can spend their time in their retirement or spend the time making new friends. Some others come because they want to learn a skill or they want to play music or to do pottery. Yet others come because they want to pick up a skill that they could not do when they were younger or at school.

DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) In a list of hobbies in Great Britain, gardening is number one. In big towns there are important gardening fairs where you can buy all kinds of plants and tools. Sara (VO) The British love low houses with a small garden at the back. Here they can practise their favourite hobby. Gary (VO) This is Mr. Spencer. He is the headmaster of a state school, but his great interest is gardening. He told us why gardening is the British favourite hobby. Mr Spencer I think everyone finds plants easy to grow in Great Britain. We have plenty of rain and so things grow well. And because people find it easy, that makes it popular. Gary (VO) While he looked after his plants Mr. Spencer told us why he finds gardening so relaxing. Mr Spencer It's very good to come home in the evening and do something different from my day job. I'm a headmaster and so in the evening it's good to work with my hands rather than with my head. Sara (VO) Another healthy habit in the United Kingdom is taking courses. They can be correspondence courses or courses taken at centres like Morley College. Sara (VO) Many of the courses offered by Morley College, as this fencing class, are for entertainment. That's what the principal said when we asked him to tell us about the courses. Principal The college offers a lot of courses, courses of a non-vocational nature. So people can come to the college to study ceramics, music, or to play

MODULE 5 TELEVISION TRANSCRIPTS

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SWEETHEARTS
COMPUTER DATING
How is life in the fashion business? It's great. And are there lots of nice people? Lots and lots of nice, married people, yes. My job is wonderful, but my social life is awful. I still haven't met the right man. The right man! What about an agency? A computer dating agency. You can find the man of your dreams. Look. Here. No. Why not? It's very scientific and it's efficient. But it's not very romantic, is it? *** This man of your dreams, Rosie - what's he like? He's quick and clever ... and he's warm and emotional ... and he must be spiritual. Oh, yes ... and what does he look like? He's tall. He must be tall and strong. So you're looking for a man like Arnold Schwarzenegger? Yes. But also like Mahatma Gandhi? Yes. He must be kind. I want somebody who thinks about other people. You want someone who thinks about you. Yes. Most of the time. And he must be interested ill going to the theatre and the cinema. And he must be rich? Oh, yes. He must have lots of money. So, you want a man who's tall, strong, clever, warm, emotional, spiritual, who likes the same things as you and oh, yes, who's rich as well. Yes. Right. *** It's no good. Why not? You say that the most important quality is that he's handsome. Yes. That's the most important. Rosie! What about sensitivity? What about humour and intelligence? I've got sensitivity, humour and intelligence on the list. Yes, but they're at the bottom of the list. Numbers eight. nine and ten. And for number two, youve written 'rich'. Thats right. 'Handsome' and 'rich', and after that, you've got 'famous', 'powerful', 'charming' and 'talented'. What's wrong with that?

Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie

Valerie Nothing, dear, but Mel Gibson is probably not a client of this computer dating agency. Rosie I know how computers work. I must put 'handsome' as number one, or the computer will give me a partner with a face like an orang-utan. George Hi, Valerie. Valerie Hello, George. How was the tennis? George Bernard played badly, didn't you, Bernard? Look at him. It's sad, isn't it? He's like an old man. When he was young, he could play tennis, but now he's old. His eyes are poor. His legs are weak. We were better than the other two, but we lost. I need a new partner. You're too old, Bernard. I need someone young, someone with a good eye, someone with strong arms and legs, someone with energy. Someone beautiful. Are you interested in playing tennis? *** Rosie I play a bit. George Who is this woman? Why haven't you introduced me before? How are you? I'm George and you are ... ? Rosie Rosie. George Rosie! What a name! What a wonderful name! Don't you think so, Bernard? It's a poetic name. It's a name ... Bernard George! George Maybe we can get to know each other. What do you do? Rosie I work for the editor of a fashion magazine. What do you do, George? George I sell drugs. Rosie Really! Valerie He works for a pharmaceutical company. Bernard George! Come here! I want to show you something outside. George I won't be long. I'll be back ... Rosie. Valerie Rosie, I'm sorry about George. He was very impolite. Rosie It doesn't matter. What's he like? Valerie He's a nice man, Rosie. What's the matter? Rosie Nothing. Does George say those things to all the women he meets? Valerie I don't think so. I think he really likes you. Rosie He looks ... interesting. Valerie But he's not the man of your dreams, Rosie. Rosie Well, he's certainly not strong or handsome, but I like his way of talking and laughing. I think the man of my dreams was ... boring.

MY IDEAL PARTNER

Street interviews Joni My ideal partner must have kind eyes - kind, smiling eyes. And ideally, dark hair - I don't like blondes.

Mark My ideal partner should be tall, blonde and good looking. Fraser I like women with long, blonde hair and long legs, but appearance is not so important for me. Pam He's very handsome, tall and very slim. The ad spot Melissa It is so difficult being a young person. You're shy, but then, you see a boy across a crowded room. What does he look like? He's dark and handsome. He looks ... interesting. Your eyes meet. And then, later ... George I'm sorry. How do you do? What's your name? Melissa My name's Melissa. What's your name? George My name's George. Melissa Nice to meet you, George. George It's very nice to meet you too, Melissa. Melissa It is so romantic. All your life you have waited for this moment. You are so happy. He gives you flowers. You dance together. You are going to kiss for the first time when ... George Ugghhh! Melissa Oh, George. I'm so happy. George What's that, Melissa? Melissa Darling? George What's that on your face? Melissa What do you mean, George? George What's that big spot on your face. Oh, look, there's another one. And another. Oh, Melissa ... Melissa Yes, spots always come at the wrong time. But with new Spotless Cream you can do something about it. Now Stanley and Fred want to dance with me. But what about poor George? Someone ought to tell George about new Spotless Cream. Don't make me laugh! Danny Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. My name is Danny Dodds and I'm interested in finding an ideal partner. Why are you laughing? What do I look like? I don't look too short or too tall, I don't look too fat. I'm a very nice man, but I can't find an ideal partner. Maybe ... you madam. All right, then. I was married once. For ten years my wife and I were very happy . . . then we met. There's a man down here who doesn't understand that joke. I said, for ten years my wife and I were very happy and then we met. No? All right, then. Well, I've got a new girlfriend now. Oh, she's marvellous. She's beautiful, intelligent and sophisticated. You know, every time she kisses me, it burns. Oh, it hurts! Why does it hurt? She's got a cigarette in her mouth. That's my girlfriend. But maybe there isn't an ideal partner for me. I love my girlfriend, but I don't think she loves me. No. Thank you. No, I don't think she loves me. Last week I saw her with another man. I was very sad. The next day I asked her, 'Who was the man you were kissing last night?' and she said, 'What time was that?' I said, 'it was about half past eight'. And she said, 'Half past eight? Oh, that was Mel.' Thank you very much. You've been great. Thanks very much. My name's Danny Dodds. Good

night. Street interviews Joni The most important thing is that my ideal partner must have a good sense of humour. Robin My ideal partner should be loving and very patient. Mark She should be kind. She should be generous and have a good sense of humour. Song time Love's for keeps Isn't handsome, isn't funny, Isn't famous, got no money, Got no talents, isn't clever, But he tells me love's for ever, That's why my man is the man of my dreams. Not romantic, buys no flowers, Won't go dancing for hours and hours, Mouth is open when he sleeps, Then he whispers love's for keeps, That's why my man is the man of my dreams.

DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) These are Carmen Guijarro and Michael Snowden. She's Spanish and he's English. They got married X years ago and since then they've been living in Edinburgh. Carmen works as a teacher of Spanish. Michael is a sculptor. They're an example of a couple of people from different cultures. Sara (VO) We spoke with them and asked them what is, in their opinion, the most important difference between their two cultures. Carmen The one that affects me most, the cultural difference that really affects me, is this indirect way of interacting even between members of the same family. I find that if you have a friend you should be able to say what you think or what you want directly. And I find it difficult that in this country people always use an indirect manner. Gary (VO) For Michael, the biggest difference is in the family. Michael I think Spanish families are much closer together and from my point of view I've been welcomed by all of Carmen's relatives. Sara (VO) Our next question was: What are the advantages of a couple like you? Carmen Advantages probably that I always have an excuse to travel and I like travelling. So because I live in Edinburgh, in Scotland, I have to travel to England or to Spain. Gary (VO) Here, Michael's answer was very similar. Michael Well I think from my point of view I've met so many people from Spain and we often go to Spain for holidays, and we've been together to Mexico. Sara (VO) And what are the disadvantages? Carmen Probably the main disadvantage is that ... is about the same, that I have to travel to Spain to see my family and I haven't got much time to

travel to other countries. Gary (VO) This time, Michael's answer was much clearer. Michael That's a very difficult question to answer. So far I haven't found any. I might find some in the next twenty years. Gary (VO) Michael is an artist. He works as a sculptor in a small studio near his flat. He also teaches art in a local school. Sara (VO) Carmen is a teacher of Spanish at a college for adults. After so many years in Britain, Carmen is fully integrated in British society. But we wanted to know if she found it difficult at the beginning to integrate in a different society and a different culture. Carmen I never found it difficult to integrate in this society.I actually found it much easier to live here than in Spain. Gary (VO) And what does Michael think? Does he think it was difficult for Carmen to integrate? Michael Not in any way. She's always friendly with all sorts of people and found it very easy. Sara (VO) And finally, some advice from them to all the students of That's English! Carmen Well, if you want to practise your English, come to Edinburgh and talk to the real people. Edinburgh is a beautiful city and Scotland a beautiful country. Michael I would like to say that I hope that you're successful in learning English, and will therefore come to visit Britain and especially to Scotland.

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READY, STEADY, GO!

SPORTS DAY

Bernard What are you doing? James It's Sports Day at my school next Friday. Bernard Sports Day! Good. What sports are you going to do? Running? Jumping? No, I can guess. You're going to be in a TV-watching competition! James I'm running. Bernard Running! James Yes, I'm doing lots of races. I've got to run a hundred metres, two hundred metres and four-hundred-metre races. Bernard Isn't that a lot of events? James It doesn't matter. I won't win, anyway. Bernard You should have a more positive attitude. James I'm no good at sports. Dad, I was watching that! Bernard You need to get fit, my boy. James Huh? Bernard Up! Up! Up! It's not the body of an Olympic athlete, is it? James I don't want to be an Olympic athlete, Dad. Bernard You need the right diet. Lots of protein. Protein, protein, protein! And you need a training programme. James Dad! Bernard Let's start with some running. Running is the best type of exercise. Come on. Get those knees up. Up! Up! Up!

*** Bernard Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen ... James Can we stop, dad? Bernard No. We haven't started yet. This is just the warm up ... sixteen ... What team sports do you like best? Football, rugby, hockey? James I don't like team sports. Bernard But you like swimming and tennis, don't you? James No. Bernard Well, what sports do you like? James I quite like darts. Bernard Hmmm. James But I always lose. Bernard Winning is not important. Playing the game is important. James, please go and bring me the small, red box on top of my desk. *** James Are you all right, Dad? Bernard Fine, thanks. Do you see this? I won this for winning third place in a race at Standford junior School. James That's great, Dad. Do you want to do any more exercises now? Bernard Oh, no. I don't want to push you too hard. But weve made a start. *** Bernard You stupid idiot! These English cricketers are worse than schoolboys! Did you see that? Here's the action replay. Watch. You see? The stupid fool didn't keep his eye on the ball. Keep your head over the ball like this. You see? James I think cricket is rather boring, Dad. Bernard How did your Sports Day go? James Fine, thanks, Dad. Bernard You won? James No. Bernard You came second? James No, but I met a nice girl called Louise. Dad, you said that winning wasn't important. Bernard Yes. James Louise won the hundred metres and the two hundred metres. She's a member of an athletics club ... Dad, I was thinking about what you said. It's good to be fit, and I need to train. And you're quite good at running, so let's go jogging every day. Bernard Every day? James Just for an hour. Bernard James, I haven't got the time to go jogging for an hour every day. James We'll have to get up early in the morning. Bernard Early in the morning? James Yes, we'll have to get up early in the morning, so that we can go jogging before breakfast. Bernard Before breakfast! Yes, right ... Yes, well ... James Thanks, Dad.

PLAYING THE GAME

Street interviews Mark I don't like rugby. I really hate rugby.

Joni I love playing tennis and I like horse riding. Robin I hate playing football, because normally you have to play it when it's cold. Mark I like swimming, I like cycling and I love playing tennis. Joni I hate swimming because I hate getting wet. And I really don't like squash. Fraser I don't really like cricket. It's very boring. The ad spot Commentator It's summer time again, and I'm here at Wimbledon and that means tennis. This year there will be another exciting championship. All the best players from around the world are here. The Americans, the Germans, the Italians, the Swedes and the Spanish. It's going to be a very exciting championship. One player in the championship is Margaret Baxter. Everyone hopes that she will win, but this year Margaret hasn't been playing well. In fact, she hasn't won a game all year. Margaret, it's been a bad year for you. Margaret Yes, Simon. Commentator What's gone wrong with your game? Margaret I don't know, Simon. Commentator You don't hit the ball very often. Margaret You're right. Hitting the ball is a problem. Commentator And when you hit the ball, you can't get it over the net. Margaret Yes. Getting the ball over the net is rather a big problem. Commentator The British supporters don't like it. Margaret Playing tennis would be easier with no net. Commentator Margaret, some newspapers are saying that you are the worst player in the championship. Margaret Yes. Commentator Other newspapers are saying that you have the wrong racquet for the modern game. Margaret Are they? Commentator Yes. The new Frazer racquet is more modern. It's simply a better racquet. Margaret Yes. It's much better. Playing tennis is much easier with the Frazer racquet. I'm going to be the new Wimbledon champion. Song time Up, 2, 3, 4, Up, 2, 3, 4. Jump and walk and swim and run, Win or lose it's all good fun, Winning's not important, it's taking part, So come on, get ready, it's time to start. Up, get them up. Up, 2, 3, 4, Up, 2, 3, 4. Get those feet up off the floor, Come on, faster! More, more, more! Running on the spot is good for you, If you don't know how, I'll show you what to do. Up, get them up, get them up. Up, 2, 3, 4

Up, 2, 3, 4, up, 2, 3, 4, up, 2, 3~ 4, up, 2, 3, 4. Don't make me laugh! Danny Good evening. Hello. My name's Danny Dodds. How are you? Are you well? What? Do you think I'm too fat? You do, do you? You think I look rather fat. Yes, well. I visited my doctor last month. He said, 'Do some exercise. Playing games is good for you'. So I've started playing chess. I play quite well now, but I'm still too fat. My doctor said, 'Go out in the fresh air,' so I went fishing with my son. Fishing's great ... very relaxing. I thought I was quite good at fishing. I caught a fish. It was big. It was very big. It was really big!!! It was quite big. It was fairly big. It was ... oh, never mind. Thanks. That's all from me. Good night. You've been great. Street interviews Mark I really like the tennis tournament, Wimbledon - it's great. Joni My favourite sporting event is the Horse of the Year Show, and I also love Wimbledon. Fraser My favourite British sporting event is the F.A. Cup Final - a big football match in May. Robin I love going to see a good cricket match.

DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) Cricket is one of the typically British sports. Gary (VO) Cricket is a very old game. Some people think it started in the Middle Ages, and in the 18th century it became the favourite sport of British high classes. Sara (VO) "Lord's Cricket Ground", in London, is cricket's cathedral. This has been a centre for cricket since 1814. And even nowadays the most important matches are played here. Gary (VO) For example, the matches between the English national team and teams from other Commonwealth countries. Sara (VO) The best way to find out what cricket is, is to go outside London, to any small village in England. This is the cricket ground in Ockley, a small village near London. Gary (VO) The cricket season is from April to September. In spring and summer, thousands of amateur players practise their favourite sport with one of the many non-professional teams in the United Kingdom. But, what makes cricket so important for the British? This is the question we asked Rod Cowles, a member of the Ockley team. Rod Possibly because it's a part of the British tradiCowles tion. And we've been playing cricket in this country for possibly a hundred, a hundred and fifty years. Like during the winter where the football and rugby is so important that's always on the news and in the papers, in the summer it's totally cricket, and if we do badly during the summer against the team we're playing that year, it's disaster. If we do...doing well, then everybody's happy. It's very important for the British people. It is the summer sport in

England. Sara (VO) Cricket is a very complex game and it's completely impossible to explain the rules in five minutes. Many people think that cricket is like baseball, the American game. But they're very different. Gary (VO) Traditionally all the clothes are always white. The ball and the bat make up the rest of the equipment. When a player is batting he must wear protections to avoid accidents. Sara (VO) As you can see, cricket isn't a very expensive game. Besides, it is very healthy and relaxing. Mr Godby Cricket is a form of relaxation for me, and I think most of the people who play cricket do it to relax unless they do it to earn a living. There are professional cricketers in this country who earn a living by playing cricket. Those who play for clubs, like Ockley do it ... do it for fun and relaxation, to be with their team mates, to get some runs, hopefully score runs out in the ground and then to have a few drinks later on in the bar, probably. Gary (VO) True. The best way to finish a cricket match is to share a few drinks in the pub. Winning or losing is not important. What matters is to enjoy the game and the company of the people who practise it.

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FASHION AND BEAUTY

IN FASHION?

Rosie It's very kind of you to let me try out some of your clothes. Valerie That's OK. Rosie What do you think? Valerie You look very nice. Where's George going to take you? Rosie He won't tell me. He says it's a surprise. I'm quite excited. Do you think this looks too casual? Valerie No. Rosie I'll wear my hair up ... or does it look better down? Valerie It's more sophisticated up ... Rosie Yes, I think so. Valerie ... but it suits you better down. Don't worry too much. You look fine. Rosie Well, it's our first date. I'm going to look my best. What time is it? Valerie Six o'clock. What time are you going to meet him? Rosie At eight. No. This looks too ordinary. I'm going to wear something more exciting than jeans and a T-shirt. What style does George like? Valerie He'll like anything that you wear. He likes you. I know he's very excited too. Rosie That doesn't help me much. Oh, what am I going to wear? *** Bernard What are you doing? James It's a new dance, Dad. Bernard You call that a dance! Have you done your homework?

James Yes. I've nearly finished it ... Dad, you know those Riki trainers ... Bernard No. Those shoes cost seventy pounds. James Please, Dad. I need a new pair of trainers. Bernard I've seen a good pair of trainers that only cost twenty-five pounds. James But they aren't Riki trainers. Bernard Riki trainers don't help you run any faster, they're no better than other shoes, but they are much more expensive! James But Dad, I need them. Bernard You don't need them. It's just fashion. James All my friends are wearing Riki trainers. Bernard Why do you want to be like everyone else? Fashion is so stupid. I know this song. What is this song? James It's Dub Boys Mix. Bernard This was my favourite song! It was on the Black Band album. What have they done to it? James It's rap, Dad. Bernard It's terrible. This was one of the best songs of the early seventies. James Who were the Black Band? Bernard Have you never heard of the Black Band? Don't they teach you anything at school? They're part of our culture. I saw them play twice. I wore their T-shirts. I even had a Black Band hair cut. James Did you really? Bernard Yeah ... in those days everyone had a Black Band haircut. We wore our hair like this. James When was that? Bernard 1971 James Never mind, Dad. It'll probably be in fashion again soon. Rosie What do you think? Do you think George will like this? *** Bernard It looks great, Rosie. Rosie No, Bernard. I want your honest opinion. Bernard I think it looks ... a bit boring. Rosie I don't want you to be that honest. *** George Too formal ... Mmm. A nice jacket ... Too tight ... Ugggh! ... Too boring. Yves St Laurent. No. Yes. Yes. Yes. *** Rosie Do you think this is in fashion? Valerie It's a bit out of fashion, really. Rosie What do you think, Bernard? Bernard It's OK, but George might think you're a vampire. Valerie Don't ask Bernard. He doesn't know anything about fashion. Rosie Maybe it'll look better with a belt ... or with this waistcoat ... *** Rosie Do you think this is too ... sexy? Bernard No! It looks very attractive. Valerie Hmmm. I think it looks cheap. *** Rosie What about these earrings? Valerie They're fine.

Rosie No, they're too big. Valerie Rosie, it's nearly eight o'clock. Rosie What do you think of these shoes? Do you think the heels are too high? Valerie Well, George is a short man. Rosie Maybe if I walk like this, it'll be all right? *** George Yes, you handsome thing, you! And now for the piece de resistance. *** Rosie Does this look attractive? Valerie You're wearing the same clothes that you were wearing two hours ago. Rosie But I feel comfortable in them. Where is George? He said he'd be here at eight. George Oh, Princess ... you look beautiful. Rosie Hello, George. George Well, what do you think? I bought it especially for my date tonight. It suits me, don't you think? Valerie Yes. Rosie George Are you ready for a night of romance? *** Bernard You'll have to save up your pocket money to get a new pair. James It'll take a year to save up seventy pounds. The trainers will be out of fashion by then!

Presenter Barry Presenter Barry Presenter Barry Presenter Barry Presenter Barry Presenter Barry Presenter

very important in my designs. So I see. And the style of the trousers? They are flared at the bottom. They look very tight. They are. Next year, tight trousers will be in fashion. With flares? With flares. The style of your shoes looks quite different, Barry. Yes, they're made of plastic. Plastic? Are they comfortable? No ... but they are very fashionable. Fascinating. When will your clothes be in the shops? Next spring the Glitteratti collection will be in all the best shops. Thank you, Barry. So, watch out for the Glitteratti collection. The colour purple, the sequins, the tight trousers and the plastic shoes are all in the Glitteratti Collection. Are you excited? I am.

Song time When I hit the town I'm dressing up, I've got a date, What to wear? I mustn't be late. Shall I put my hair up or let it down? I've got to look my best when I hit the town. I've got the hairstyle, got the shoes, Got the earrings, just can't lose, Jeans and T-shirt? How about a dress? When I hit the town, I've got to look my best. I'm gonna hit the town with my baby, Gonna hit the town with my baby, Gonna hit the town, gonna look my best. Don't make me laugh! Danny Thank you. Thank you. Hello there. Do you like my new haircut? You don't like it? It's the latest fashion. It is. My barber tells me it's a new style. Yes, it's a very new style. I'm the first. No one's hair looks like this. My barber is an expert on everything. He can talk about fashion for hours. He can talk about politics. He knows more about football than anyone else. He's an expert on everything ... except cutting hair. Thank you, madam, thank you. Clothes everybody loves clothes! I surprised my wife with a beautiful, new dress the other day. Yes, she was surprised! She has never seen me in a dress before. You may laugh, but all men will wear dresses one day. They'll be in fashion soon. That's true. My barber told me. But fashion changes very quickly, and we must wear what's in fashion. That's a nice dress, madam. It's really out of fashion. But don't worry, don't worry - I'm sure it'll be in fashion again one day. Thank you. You've been great. That's all from me. Thank you. Good night. Street interviews Joni I buy new clothes probably once a month, because

DRESSING UP

Street interviews Joni I'm wearing a dark jacket, very bright pink jumper, leggings, because they're comfortable, and blue shoes. Robin Today it's my birthday, so I made an extra effort. I'm wearing a shirt, tie, and a long coat. Fraser I'm wearing beige trousers, suede shoes made in Spain, an overcoat, a green shirt, and a white T-shirt. Mark I'm wearing grey trousers, a beige jumper and a beige raincoat. Pretty smart, huh? *** Joni I think very, very smart clothes will be in fashion next year. The ad spot Presenter Everyone wants to look different. Nowadays no one wants to look the same. In the past, people went to Milan, New York or Paris for their fashion ideas. But now all the fashion editors and buyers are going to Watford. Barry Glitteratti, Watford's greatest fashion designer, is going to show us his exciting new collection. Hello, Barry. Barry Hi. Presenter Are these clothes you're wearing part of the Glitteratti collection? Barry Yes. Presenter Can you tell us a bit about the design? Barry Next year the colour purple will be in fashion. And there will be lots of sequins. Sequins are

they make me feel good. Mark I buy clothes when I see something that I like, or when my clothes get old.

British fashion.

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YOU AND YOUR DREAMS

NIGHTMARE!

DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) How do the British dress? Can you say there's a truly British fashion? And if so, what's it like? Is it the fashion you can see in the windows of London's most expensive shops? Or is it the fashion of the people who go to Ascot races? Is it the fashion made famous by Lady Di ... or that of the other members of the Royal family? Gary (VO) I don't think so. The British don't follow just one fashion today, but a mixture of styles. Sara (VO) The question now is what about the British fashion of the future? The young students of design and fashion have the answer. Gary (VO) This building is the Business Design Centre. Every year they have a week of shows and exhibitions of fashion designed by the young designers who finish their studies. Sara (VO) There are several universities and private schools in the United Kingdom offering fashion design courses. It is very important to give the students an opportunity to show their work. Gary (VO) Can you imagine what it means for a student to see the result of their studies on the catwalk? We wanted to find out, and we spoke with Rosie Corrodus, a student at Middlesex University. We asked her how she felt after the show. Rosie Corrodus I feel a great joy because I've worked so hard and to see it finally on the catwalk it makes me very happy and proud. Gary (VO) Is it easy for a young designer to be successful? Rosie Corrodus In England ... it varies ... from country to country, I believe. But I think if you believe in yourself and have your own distinct look, I think it's possible. But it varies, I believe, from country to country. Sara (VO) True. This show was a complete success for Rosie and for all her colleagues. They showed that the future designers of British fashion have plenty of imagination. Gary (VO) Where do you get your inspiration from? Rosie Corrodus Mainly from myself and what is around me. But living in London there is many different nationalities to look at. Everyone in London has their own style and if you go to a club, or when you go to study or when you go to eat, on the street ... many different styles and ... so I get it from around me and my own inspiration and ideas. Gary (VO) At the Business Design Centre there aren't only clothes, but also other objects that are part of fashion and design. They have all been created by young designers who, very soon, will have in their hands the future of

Bernard No! No! No! Valerie Whats wrong, Bernard? Bernard I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was driving my car up Stag Hill. James was in the car with me. He was in the front seat ... and this lorry was driving quickly towards us. This lorry was delivering Riki trainers. I could see the driver of the lorry. He was a young man with a suit and a bow tie on. He was driving towards us and he was laughing loudly. He knew he was going to hit us, but he didn't care. I looked at James, and he was laughing as well. Valerie, I know the person who was driving the lorry ... Valerie Who was it? Bernard It was ... I can't remember. It was someone I knew. Valerie Goodnight, Bernard. Bernard It was someone I knew. Valerie Bernard, I'm tired. Bernard What does this dream mean? Perhaps it's about my future. Perhaps I'm going to die in a car accident! *** Valerie Bills from the electricity company, bills from the gas company. And a letter from the bank saying we're overdrawn. Oh! And what's this? A postcard from Edwin. Bernard Edwin? Valerie He's coming back from Spain. He says he wants to talk to you about something. Bernard That's it! Valerie What? Bernard I remember - it was Edwin in my dream. I remember - it was Edwin who was driving the lorry. Valerie Really! I wonder what that means. Edwin writes in the postcard that he wants to talk to you about something very important. Bernard Perhaps the dream is a warning. It might mean that Edwin shouldn't visit us. Valerie That's nonsense. Anyway, Edwin is arriving today. Bernard It's not nonsense. Dreams are important. Julius Caesar said it was nonsense. Do you remember what happened to him? His wife, Calpurnia, dreamt that he was going to die, and then next day they killed him in the Senate. Valerie You are not Julius Caesar. No one's going to kill you. You're just worried about something. Maybe it's all these bills. Bernard Dreams often warn of disaster. Do you know that Abraham Lincoln dreamt someone was going to kill him in the theatre? Valerie Edwin is not going to kill you. Perhaps the dream means that you should drive the car more

Bernard Valerie Valerie Bernard Valerie Edwin Bernard Edwin Valerie Edwin Bernard Edwin Bernard Edwin Bernard Edwin Bernard Edwin Bernard Edwin Bernard Valerie Bernard Edwin Bernard

carefully ... I'd like to speak to the manager, please ... Yes, it's about our bank charges ... No! Are you all right? Did you hurt yourself? *** It may mean that you're frightened of something, or maybe you feel insecure. Why is it Edwin who is trying to kill me? It might mean that you think Edwin is better than you. Bernard, how are you? I'm tired, Edwin. I haven't been sleeping very well. *** That was a delicious meal. Thank you, Valerie. It's a pleasure. Let me help. Thanks ... No! No! Yes, let me help. No, it's OK. I'll do it, thank you. Bernard ... Yes? I've had a bad few months at work, and I'm a bit short of money at the moment. I'm sorry. Do you remember last year I lent you fifty pounds? It was when we went on holiday together. Oh, yes! I'd forgotten all about that. I'm so sorry, Edwin. Well, I wonder if I could have the money back? Yes ... I'm so sorry. I think this explains the dreams you've been having. Maybe in your dreams you remembered about the money. Here. You don't mind about the money, do you? No. I'm happy that I understand the nightmares.

do. But my dreams are very boring. Every time I remember my dreams, I fall asleep. But I always remember my nightmares - my nightmares. Last night I dreamt I was here on stage, but no one was enjoying my show. Wake up, Danny! Wake up! What's your nightmare, madam? Oh, I see, he's sitting next to you. Hello, sir. I know a man - he comes to all my shows. He loves my jokes. He says my jokes are good for his insomnia. He says he comes to my show to have a nap - he sleeps like a log. Ah, well. Thank you very much. That's all from me. Thank you and good night. Sleep well. Song time What a nightmare! In ancient Rome the wind was whistling, Calpurnia lay and shivered in bed, She dreamt that Caesar's friends were laughing, 'Tomorrow, Julius Caesar, you'll be dead!' What a nightmare! 'Tomorrow, Julius baby, you'll be dead!' In Washington it rained and it thundered, The President was shivering in his bed, He dreamt about a man in the theatre, 'Tomorrow, Mister Lincoln, you'll be dead!' What a nightmare! 'Tomorrow, Abie baby, you'll be dead!' 'Tomorrow, Abic baby, you'll be dead!' 'Tomorrow, Abic baby, you'll be dead!' Street interviews Joni I think dreams can tell you that you're under stress and that you should relax. Fraser I think dreams can tell you if you are happy or if you're sad. Robin I often have dreams about making lots of money, but I wake up and I see it's not true. The ad spot Presenter What is your nightmare? Is it going on holiday in England? Is your nightmare going on holiday in the rain for two weeks in the summer or going on a skiing holiday with no snow? What did you dream last night? Did you dream that you were lying on a smooth, white beach under the palm trees? Did you dream that you were playing tennis in the hot sun? Did you dream that you were having a nice, cool drink by the pool at an expensive hotel? Well, you don't have to dream any more. You can play the 7hat's English! Lottery! It's your chance to win millions of pounds and escape the rain. Or did you dream that you owned a new car? Or a television? Or a dishwasher? Or a new sofa? Make your dreams come true with the 7hat's English! Lottery. It only costs one pound for each lottery ticket. Man Yes. Yes! Yes! Yes!! Yes!!! Presenter Make your dreams come true. Buy your That's English! Lottery ticket today!

SLEEPY HEAD

Street interviews Joni I have one recurring dream - I'm in a large house and I'm running from room to room away from a group of people. Fraser I often dream that I'm flying - it's a very strange dream because sometimes I fall down. Mark I never remember my dreams. Joni The strangest dream I had was that I was in a lift with Prince Charles and the Queen and I don't even like them, but I was talking to them and saying to them, 'Your job must be very, very difficult,' and feeling sorry for them. And in the morning I thought, 'Why did I talk to them?' Don't make me laugh! Danny Last night, as my wife was going to sleep, she put on a pair of glasses. I asked her very politely, 'Why are you wearing glasses?' She said she wanted to see the man of her dreams! Thank you. Thank you very much. Dreams - do you remember your dreams? I

DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) Close your eyes and imagine a beautiful

Gary (VO)

Sara (VO)

Richard Booth

Gary (VO)

Richard Booth

Sara (VO)

Richard Booth

place full of fictional characters from literature. Dream of a town where books are the main inhabitants. A beautiful dream, isn't it? Such a place is not only a dream. It exists in real life. Its name is Hay on Wye and it's a little village on the border between Wales and England. Hay on Wye is the world capital of second-hand books. The old butcher's, the old cinema and even the old fire station are now bookshops. In Hay on Wye there are books everywhere. And it is all thanks to a man's dream. This is Richard Booth. When he finished his degree in History at Oxford University, he left for Hay on Wye in search of a different life style. He dreamt of a town full of books and his dream became true. Well, I was educated at Oxford and like most people educated at Oxford my only hope of employment appeared in a large town but ... unless I was of course a doctor or a lawyer, and I didn't want to be a doctor or a lawyer. So I came to Hay and I discovered the only way of making a living was to fill the whole town with books so we became a centre for the second-hand things. I think people in rural areas like the second-hand and to me, I think, there should be many towns full of second-hand books. Hay on Wye is a collectors' paradise. It's probably the place with the most bookshops in one street in the world. Every day and especially at the weekend, the streets of Hay on Wye fill with literature lovers or simple visitors looking for new books for their collections. A visitor could spend hours browsing around the many bookshelves. But, what kind of books can you find in Hay on Wye? Well, we have to have enough books to make it worth your while coming here, so we try and sell books which you cannot find in London, or Madrid or Tokyo. For example, I've just started a Hungarian bookshop with five thousand Hungarian books. I will have a Spanish bookshop here. It is the first time this business has been international and ... I think we must sell books ... we sell many, many books on English language, English literature, but also sell books that we cannot find anywhere else, perhaps even in Europe. Richard Booth is the true king in the Country of Books. In 1977 he bought the old castle and turned it into a big bookshop. Eventually, Richard Booth has created other second-hand-book towns in other parts of Europe and in the United States. But he's never stopped dreaming. That's why we asked him: What's your dream for the future? Well, for all my life I found the most

exciting place in the world was South America. Nearly all of my life, because it's ... you know ... natural business I have worked in North America. We are the largest book buyers, I think, in Philadelphia, Detroit or many American cities. But now I feel that I would love to go to South America. It seems a very exciting and romantic place for people who are always in the Anglo-Saxon world. So my big dream for the future is a SouthAmerican bookshop in Hay on Wye.

5
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TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF

HOROSCOPES

Rosie I'm in love. Valerie I know. It's probably infatuation. Rosie I don't think so. I know I'm in love. I was listening to the radio this morning. All the love songs were about George and me. Valerie Rosie, I'm stuck! Rosie I feel dreamy. I feel as if I'm floating on a cloud. I feel creative and happy. Valerie Rosie, can you help? Rosie George makes me feel brand new. I'm seeing the world for the first time. Do you understand? Everything looks different. Valerie Rosie! Rosie Are you all right? Valerie, don't you think George is so wonderful? Valerie People say that love is blind. Rosie That's OK. I don't mind what people say. Valerie You've only known him a week. Rosie Yes, a week. A glorious, wonderful week. Valerie George may not be the right person for you. Rosie Why not? I've always got on well with Scorpios. I'm a Libra, you see. Valerie You have only seen one side of his character. Rosie What do you mean? Valerie You don't know him. Rosie Are you saying George has dark secrets? Valerie Well, maybe. Rosie Is there something I should know about him? Valerie I don't know. Rosie I think you're just jealous. Do you know what your horoscope says? You're Virgo, aren't you? It says, 'Although you are going to have a difficult month, your finances will improve'. It also says, 'Try not to be jealous of other people's good news'. You see, you are jealous. Valerie I don't think I'm jealous of you and George. I just don't want you to make a mistake ... What's the matter? Rosie My horoscope says, 'Be careful of Scorpio men. They may have a dark secret that could cause you problems'. I don't believe it. I don't believe in horoscopes. They're nonsense. *** George You will love this ... What's wrong? Rosie I don't know. I don't know anything about you.

George Isn't that exciting? You have a lifetime to get to know all my dark secrets. Rosie What dark secrets? George I was joking. Rosie What happened to your last girlfriend? George She left. Rosie Why did she leave you? George Oh, I don't know. She didn't like my cooking. Rosie Did you try to poison her? George No, I did not. Rosie What happened? George She got bored with me. Rosie What happened to her? George She took off with an airline pilot. She took off with an ... Rosie You're always laughing and joking. I don't trust you, George. You're too happy. George Well, I haven't always been happy. When I was a child, I was very small. I was very sensitive about my height. At school, the other children laughed at me. They were very insensitive. Ha, ha, ha, look at George. He has a funny face. Rosie Oh, no! That's terrible! George Well, I told them jokes. I made them laugh. They laughed at my jokes. I was always a clown. You see, although I'm quite extrovert, Im really quite shy. Then, when I was twenty-one, I got serious. I was serious about finding a job, I was serious about finding a girlfriend. Then, one day, I met a girl called Margaret. She liked me and she didnt laugh at me. We went everywhere together. I was in love. Then, one day I was combing my hair in the mirror. I saw my hair was coming out. Within a few months, Id lost most of my hair. Rosie You poor man! George Margaret said it wasnt important, but I was so embarrassed, I stopped going out with her. But now I dont worry about what people think of me. Its not important. Its what I feel thats important. And I feel great. What about you? Did you have a happy childhood? Rosie Yes ... no ... I dont know, George. I dont want to talk about myself. George Ooh! You are in a bad mood. The food wont taste as good if youre in a bad mood. Rosie Im sorry. George Are we going to have out first fight? *** George Whats the matter? Rosie George, do you believe in astrology? George A little bit. Rosie Read this. George Yes? Rosie George, what is your dark secret? George My dark secret is ... Im an Aries. Rosie An Aries! Valerie said you were a Scorpio. George She was wrong. I was born on April the first. April Fools Day!

ALL ABOUT YOU

Street interviews Joni Ive got a good sense of humour, but my one fault is that Im always late, and my friends get very angry with me, but when I do arrive, we always have a good time. Fraser Im friendly with a good sense of humour, but ... Im a bit lazy. Mark Ive got a good sense of humour, Im patient, but I can be stubborn. Robin Im a bit serious, and very moody. Dont make me laugh! Danny Thank you. Thank you very much. I have a friend. He is so boring. He never stops talking about himself. I hate people who talk about themselves all the time. Dont you? Yes, I like people who talk about me. Im so interesting and other people are so uninteresting. Dont you think so? In fact, Im so interesting I like to talk to myself. Can I tell you a story about myself? I had to go and see the doctor last week. He told me I ought to give up drinking whisky. He said it could become a habit. I said, I dont think so, I've been drinking whisky for twenty years now'. OK. OK. Maybe I do drink too much, but I drink because I have a problem. What's my problem? I drink too much. Oh, I like the old jokes. But I'm not really a drinker, ladies and gentlemen. No, no. I only drink when I'm with someone ... or when I'm alone. Thanks very much. That's all from me. The ad spot Although you are a nice person, are you really quite shy? Although you are a kind person, can you be firm when you want to? Are you a weakling? Someone with no friends? A sad person? When you go to the beach, do all the girls laugh unkindly at you? Do impolite young men kick sand in your face? Are you sensitive? Do you get upset? Yes, I think so. You can't call a policeman. You can't write a letter to the newspaper. People will still laugh at you and kick sand in your face. OK, you have no muscles, so buy the new Muscles Work-Out Machine from That's English! Just five minutes a day with the new Muscles Work-Out Machine and you will be amazed. See your legs grow stronger. See your neck muscles grow bigger. Watch as you become stronger than Superman! When you're trying to read a book, do people bother you with unintelligent questions? Do they ... the new Muscles Work-Out Machine from That's English! Ahhh! Street interviews Joni I think my friends see me as somebody who's good fun - I like to have a laugh. I'm always late, but for the really important things I'll be there - I'm reliable. Mark What? ... My wife thinks I never listen to her. Robin Some people see me as a bit of a clown, but generally people like me. Fraser I think sometimes people think I'm a bit noisy, but they usually laugh at my jokes. Mark People think I'm friendly ... sociable ... but I can be

a bit moody. Song time In the stars What's happening in the stars tonight? Is Venus joined with Mars tonight? I know it's superstitious, But baby you're delicious tonight. What's happening in Aquarius tonight? Will I meet a Sagittarius tonight? They say that love is blind, But baby I don't mind tonight. What's happening out in Leo tonight? Will I meet a man from Rio tonight? This romantic situation May lead to infatuation tonight.

DOCUMENTARY
Jeremy Vine Hello, there! My name is Jeremy Vine and I come from London. I work here, at Westminster, as a political correspondent for the BBC. Pat Jolly Hello! My name is Pat Jolly. I come from Sydenham, South- East London. Buck Burns My name is Buck Burns and I live in Sneem, on the Ring of Kerry, in Southern Ireland. Steve Rogers Hello! My name is Steve Rogers and I come from Edinburgh, in Scotland. Gary (VO) In English, a person's accent says a lot about that person. We can know where that person comes from or the social class someone belongs to. Sara (VO) Jeremy Vine works as a political correspondent for the BBC. His English accent is a perfect example of the Standard English or the Queen's English. It's the type of English which some educated people speak. Jeremy Vine I speak Standard English. Some people might also call it the Queen's English. This type of English is spoken by a lot of BBC presenters. The BBC doesn't insist on any particular accent, but this kind of English is the kind you're learning. Gary (VO) Accent usually indicates the speaker's social class. A very special case is that of 'cockneys'. A cockney is a person who was born in the East End of London. Their speech is recognized not only for the accent, but also for the rhyming slang they use. Pat Jolly has some examples for you. Pat Jolly I'm a cockney, a Londoner, and we speak different. In English you say 'what's', in Cockney we say 'wa''. In English you say 'house', in Cockney we say ''ouse'. In English you say 'water', in Cockney we say 'wa'er'. We also use a rhyming slang. In English you say 'hat', in Cockney 'tit for tat'. In English you say 'shirt', in Cockney we say 'Dicky Dirt'. In English you say 'tie', in Cockney we say 'Peckham Rye'. In English we say 'suit', in Cockney we say 'whistle and flute'.

Sara (VO) Let's now listen to the sound of Scottish English. Steve Rogers is a bus driver. He lives in Edinburgh, Scotland's capital, and he's going to give us some examples of the way the Scots speak. Steve Rogers Yes, I live in Edinburgh and I speak with a Scottish accent. In England they would say 'away', in Scotland we say 'awae'. They would also say 'town', we say 'toon'. And in England they would say 'lake', but in Scotland we say 'loch'. Gary (VO) Now we leave for the Republic of Ireland, to look at one more way of speaking English. Buck Burns is a teacher at a primary school in County Kerry. Here, they also have their own peculiar way of speaking English Buck Burns Well, there are many variations of accents in Ireland. In this part of Ireland, in Kerry, if a person were saying 'The sticks and the stones are staying on the fence', that person might say: 'De sticks and de stones are shtaying on de fence.' Some Irish people have a difficulty with pronouncing the 'th' sound. People might say 'dis', 'dat', 'dese' and 'dose'. Or 'tirty-tree' instead of 'thirty-three.' Sara (VO) These are only four examples of different English accents. And to finish, we're going to listen to our four speakers giving you the same advice in four different accents. Pay attention to the advice. Jeremy Vine Remember: watching 'That's English!' is interesting and very practical. Go for it.' Pat Jolly And remember: watching 'That's English!' is interesting and very practical. Go for it.' Steve Rogers And remember: watching 'That's English!' is interesting and very practical. So go for it.' Buck Burns And remember: watching 'That's English!' is interesting and very practical. Go for it.'

6
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MUSIC IN OUR LIVES

THE MUSIC OF LOVE

Shall we sit on the sofa? It's more comfortable. Oh, George ... Shall I put on some music? Oh, yes! What shall I put on? I don't mind. Some soft, classical music? I don't have any. Or Frank Sinatra or. . . the music of love. Fruitloaf? Fruitloaf? Early Fruitloaf or ... What's Fruitloaf? Who is Fruitloaf? Fruitloafs a rock singer. Have you never heard Fruitloaf? Rosie No. I don't think I like rock music. George Oh, Rosie! You will love Fruitloaf. This is the kind of music I like. Rosie I like music that's not too loud. George Rosie George Rosie George Rosie George Rosie George Rosie George Rosie George

George But you have to play Fruitloaf at full volume. Oh, Rosie I love you so much. Rosie George, I like this, but I prefer classical music or folk music. George Folk music? Rosie What's the matter, George? George I hate folk music. *** Bernard What's wrong, Rosie? Rosie George and I had an argument. Valerie All lovers argue sometimes. What did you argue about? Rosie We like different kinds of music. I bought some tickets for a concert, but George doesn't want to come now. Here, Bernard, you can have them. They're no good to me. Bernard Rosie ... Rosie There's nothing you can do for me now ... Valerie Rosie ... that's the broom cupboard. Rosie I loved him. Bernard Two tickets to a concert - in three days' time. Valerie Is it country music? Bernard No, it's at the Wigmore Hall. The programme has works by Mozart, Sibelius and Beethoven. Valerie Oh, classical music. Bernard You will come with me, won't you? Valerie No. I don't want to miss EastEnders on TV. Bernard EastEnders is a soap opera. You can watch that any time. Valerie It's very exciting at the moment. I don't want to miss it. Bernard Well, you can use the video recorder. Valerie No, I don't like classical music very much. Bernard You like Mozart. Valerie I like to hear Mozart on the radio. It's good background music, but I don't want to spend an evening watching an orchestra playing Mozart. Bernard But it's the Watford Philharmonic! Valerie No, I'd like to go if it were country music. You can sing along to country music. Bernard I know who'll come with me. *** James No, Dad. I dont like Mozart or Beethoven. Bernard Why not? James Because they're boring. Bernard They aren't boring. Mozart and Beethoven lived extraordinary lives. James But they've been dead for so long. Dead people are boring. *** James You don't listen to rap. Bernard I don't like rap. James You have never given it a chance. If you listen and try to enjoy my rap music, I will come to the concert with you and I'll try to enjoy the classical music. *** Rosie Hello? George! ... I'm so sorry ... You do? Oh, so do I. Darling! Yes. OK. Bye. Oh ... *** Bernard James, did you enjoy the concert?

James I hated the orchestra. Bernard Yes, but what about the music? James The music was OK. Listen to this, Dad. This is what I like. Bernard I hate rap music. James You have to move your body. Come on, Dad. Shake it! No, that's no good. You need a baseball cap. Turn up the bass and get with the beat, Baggy. That's better.

MY KIND OF MUSIC

Street interviews Joni I like most pop music, I like a bit of rock music, country and western, not classical. Mark I like classical music, I like jazz, and I like rock'n'roll. Fraser I like all kinds of music - anything from opera to rock'n'roll, but some Japanese music I don't like because the melody is very strange. Joni My favourite artist is George Michael. I think his recent songs really talk to me about my life and experiences I've had. Mark I like Kiri Te Kanawa. She has a beautiful voice. Fraser My favourite artist is Aretha Franklin. She has an amazing voice. The ad spot Is this the kind of music you like? It's all right, but it's a bit boring. What about rock music? Is this what you like? I like it, but it's too loud. Listen to this - perhaps it's folk music that you like. Yes. I like folk music . . . but you don't want to listen to that for a long time. It's very boring. Do you like blues? Ah, I like blues. Well, I liked it when I was a student, but now ... well, it makes me feel sad. I don't want to be sad. Do you like classical music? Ah, classical music! Mozart. Beethoven. Bach. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh, classical music! ... But you don't want to listen to that. Classical music is very old. You've heard it all before. But this new record, Music for Everyone, has all kinds of music on it, so there is something for everyone. And you'll never be bored. Song time Feel sad, Feel blue, Feel bad, I want you. A kind of music

There is a kind of music that makes me think of you, There is a kind of music that brings me close to you, There is a kind of song that lets me see what's right, what's wrong, So won't you sing my kind of music, sing it all night long. Street interviews Robin That sounds great. Fraser No, I don't like that at all. Mark Oh, no, that's dreadful! Joni That's great. Now that is my kind of music I love it.

Song time (continued) Feel sad (oh, won't you sing that music), Feel blue (you know I need that music), Feel bad (please sing that music), I want you. Don't make me laugh! Danny Isn't it nice to go out in the evening? I like going to concerts, but my wife prefers to stay at home and watch TV. Last month, I bought tickets for the opera. We went to see Giuseppi Signori in La Traviata. My wife didn't enjoy his singing, but she kept clapping. So I said, 'Why are you clapping, darling?' She said, 'Because I'm trying to stay awake'. Yes, it was a terrible performance and very sad. Why was it sad? Because I paid so much money for the tickets. However, the opera had a happy ending. Oh, yes it did. Everyone was happy when it finished. Now, my wife is a singer - that's what she says. My wife sings classical, pop, rock, folk, jazz and blues, but when my wife sings, they all sound the same. When my wife sings I always stand outside the front door. I don't want the neighbours to think I'm hitting her. Well, thanks very much. That's all from me. You've been great. Thank you and good night.

Sara (VO)

Musician Gary (VO) Musician Gary (VO) Musician Gary (VO)

which seemed to have been lost. And the same has happened with some old instruments, with the words of songs from rural areas and with many other elements of their traditional culture. It's therefore not surprising that the society has more and more members every day. One of them is a component of the society's musical group. We asked her if she thinks of herself as a professional musician. No, I'm not a professional. I play my music for fun. How often do you play your instrument? And what do you call it? This is a tin whistle. It's a kind of flute. I play it maybe once or twice a week. How important is music in your life? Music is very important in my life. All my friends play music and it's a great way of socialising. For her, for her friends and for many Irish people, music is more than a pastime; it's a way of understanding the identity of a whole country.

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ADVERTISING
A NEW CAR
Morning. Lovely car! What an idiot! Who are the letters from? Most of it is just advertising. Oh, darling, the car didn't start yesterday morning. I had to get help from Tony. Bernard, I've been thinking ... Yes? I think we need a new car. A new car! But darling, we have a new car. Well, newish. It's three years old. Then could we get a car that works? We can't afford a new car. It's too expensive. Darling, do you want a coffee? Yes, please. Do you know that Tony's got a new car? Yes. Yes. It's a new Sondeus. Tony told me it's got fuel injection and there's a sunroof. There isn't enough passenger space in the back of a Sondeus. Tony said that if you buy a Sondeus now, you'll get a three-year guarantee. Hmmm. *** Bye, darling. *** The Sondeus! Oh, look, there's Tony's car. Tony's car! Tony told me that this advertisement cost two million pounds to make. Two million pounds to make a sixty-second television advertisement! What a waste of money!

DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) In few countries is music as important as in the Irish Republic. In Ireland, music is in the streets and in the people. Any corner in any town is good enough to play or listen to music. In Ireland, and especially in Dublin, there are lots of pubs with live traditional music. Musicians and customers enjoy their favourite pastime together and have a good time singing and dancing to the eternal Irish songs. Sara (VO) Ireland is one of the countries that best looks after its traditional music. The Comhaltas Ceoltir ireann is a society created to preserve Irish music and culture. Gary (VO) This centre, in Dublin, is the meeting place of many amateur musicians or simply people who want to get to know traditional music and dances. Sara (VO) We wanted to know more about this type of music and the society. We asked the director why traditional music is so important in Ireland. Director Irish traditional music is important in Ireland because it's part of our culture. It's very old. Gary (VO) Can you describe Irish traditional music? Director To describe Irish traditional music I would like to say that if we could break it into two halves: the sad type of music which is about laments of our dead ancestors, and the other half which is folk music, lively, related with laughter and happy festivals. Gary (VO) What kind of people come here and why? Director The kind of people that come here are people that are interested in our Irish traditional music, to play it and to teach it to their kids. Gary (VO) In the last years, the Comhaltas Ceoltir ireann has recovered many songs and dances

Tony Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard Bernard TV Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard

TV Every man needs a Sondeus. Inside every man, there is a Sondeus ... Bernard What an idiot. He buys a car because he sees an advertisement on television. Valerie What's wrong with that? Bernard He shouldn't believe everything that he sees on television. TV Before buying a car, take a look at the Sondeus. If you buy the Sondeus, you will become a new man. Valerie Isn't there a law that television advertisements have to be truthful? Bernard Television advertising is not based on fact. Before buying our car, I read about the model in Good Car magazine. I studied the facts and figures. I listened to the experts. Valerie But, Bernard, our car doesn't work. *** Bernard Look at him. He's still out there. Inside every man there's a Sondeus. What an idiot! He's a victim of advertising. Valerie Advertising affects everyone. Bernard It certainly affects Tony. But it doesn't affect me. TV Are you worried about your waistline? When you use new Nora margerine from Makeways, you will stay fit and healthy. You know it makes sense. *** Valerie James! James Yes? Valerie What are you doing? James I'm doing my homework. Valerie Really? James I'm doing a project on household waste in Environmental Studies. Mum, this is terrible. Valerie Yes, it is. You'd better tidy it up now. James This is twenty-four hours' worth of rubbish. Sixty-eight per cent of our rubbish is nonessential packaging. This is all paper wasted on advertising. How much waste can one family create in a year? Valerie I don't care. I just don't want rubbish in my kitchen. James Do you know how many acres of tropical rainforest ... Valerie Please, James! Not now. James You and Dad just don't care about the environment. Bernard Darling, what's this? Valerie It's margarine. Bernard I know it's margarine, darling, but it's not Nora margarine. Valerie No, but it's cheaper than Nora. It tastes just the same. Bernard Can't we have Nora margarine, darling? I'm watching my weight. Valerie This margarine is the same as Nora. Bernard No, it's not. Valerie Yes, it is. There's a survey of health foods in this magazine. All the facts and figures are here. You see, Bernard, you mustn't believe all that you see on television. Bernard Oh ...

THE HARD SELL

Street interviews Fraser Yes. Last year I bought a car because I saw it on television. Joni I think I am influenced by advertising. If I see, for example, a new bar of chocolate in an advertisement, I'll buy it. Mark I don't think advertising influences me at all. Song time Ooh! I want a new car Ooh! I want a new car, I've got to have a new car, Tony's got a new car, Gotta get a car today. If you buy this car from me, sir, You won't have much to pay, You'll pay me just a little, A little every day. If you buy this car from me, sir, You'll have a lot of fun, The ladies will adore you, You'll be their number one. Ooh! I want a new car, I've got to have a new car, Tony's got a new car, Gotta get a car today, Gotta get a car today. The ad spot Top people buy Dilettante. Before buying anything, they look at Dilettante. If they can't see it in Dilettante, they won't buy it. They put Dilettante on their coffee tables. They carry it when they go out. They look at the pictures and they want to buy what they see. Dilettante is really interesting. There is no news in Dilettante. There are no boring articles, just advertisements. Advertisements for very large diamond brooches and gold watches. There are pages of advertisements for very expensive dresses and perfumes. We only have fifty thousand readers. But fifty thousand is enough, because they are rich readers. Readers with money. Too much money. They have money to spend on useless products. If you want people with money to see your advertisement, you must book advertising space in Dilettante. You could advertise in this space. If you have a product that is useless and terribly expensive, talk to us at Dilettante. Our readers want to buy your product. If you advertise in Dilettante, you will become successful. And when you become successful, you will want to buy Dilettante and put it on your coffee table. Don't make me laugh! Danny Thank you very much, I'm Danny Dodds. You know, my manager is no good. Last month he said to me. He said, 'David . . . ' - my manager knows me very well! My name's Danny - he said, 'David, you're going to perform in the Comedy Club and there's lots of publicity for you. Publicity! Well, here is the publicity! Look at it! Yes, advertising. It's everywhere, isn't it?

John Danny John Danny

Housewife Danny

There's advertising on the television. There's advertising in the newspapers. Look! Pages and pages of it. Well, I've been thinking. You know comedians don't get paid a lot of money, so I'm selling space in my show for advertising. Are you interested? You, sir, what's your name? John. And what do you do? I'm an English teacher. Ah. Here's an advertisement for John. If you learn English from John, you'll never be wrong! Learn English from John! That was very good. John, that'll be 10. And you, madam. What do you do? I'm a housewife. A housewife. Hmmm. You don't need advertising, madam. You've got enough work. My wife loves watching advertisements on television. She sees an advertisement for a sofa. The advertisement says, 'it lasts for ever'. But the sofa doesn't last for ever - paying for it lasts for ever. Anyway, my wife buys the sofa. She sees an advertisement for a new carpet and she buys it. She sees an advertisement for a table and she buys it! But my wife says it's a good investment. I will be paying for this furniture for a long time - for years. And when I finally finish paying, I will have some genuine antiques. Thank you very much. That's all from me. Thank you and good night.

Gary (VO)

Sara (VO)

Carolin Crawford

Sara (VO) Carolin Crawford

Street interviews Joni It's fruity, it's healthy, it's good for you, there are no calories - That's English! jam. Fraser Buy this. It's sticky and sweet and it doesn't fall off your bread. Mark You should try That's English! jam - it's delicious.

DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) Piccadilly Circus is in the centre of London. It's a typically British image. Piccadilly Circus, however, wouldn't be the same without its famous neon advertisements. Gary (VO) As in any modern nation, publicity is quite important in the United Kingdom. To sell a product you have to make people know it. And the British are experts at that. But how is an advertisement made? We asked Mr Nolan, Creative Director of a publicity agency. Mr Nolan Yes, it starts ... we meet the clients, we discuss the needs, see what the product is. Then we do some research, we find out how that product fits in the marketplace ... Thirdly we then begin coming up with ideas to match the needs of the client. Fourthly we show the client the ideas. Hopefully they approve them. We then lastly produce the ideas

Sara (VO)

Mr Nolan

by way of the magazine ads, newspaper ads. We have photographers take pictures, TV use directors to film it. Then it appears on newspapers, on TV, etc. Publicity is a good way of getting to know how the British live and what their main interests are. British publicity is very creative, and it uses humour for all kinds of advertisements. The British, however, are very serious when it comes to regulating publicity. The Advertising Standards Authority is the agency responsible for watching over the use of stereotypes which can cause offence. So we asked Carolin Crawford, the agency's director, about the rules which regulate standards in publicity. The Advertising Standards Authority doesn't have particular rules on stereotyping, but we do have a section of our code about decency, that advertisements shouldn't offend people. If a stereotype causes offence, for example it's a negative racial stereotype, then the Authority will ask for the advertisement to be withdrawn. What do you do about misleading publicity? The code of practice that we operate requires that advertisements should not mislead the public. So advertisements should not mislead by omission, exaggeration, ambiguity or anything else that is likely to affect your decision to the advertised product. If we feel the advertisement is misleading in any way, then we will ask for it to be withdrawn and not to be repeated until it has been corrected. They pay special attention to publicity on television. Tobacco advertisements are completely forbidden, and those of alcohol and underwear are controlled and only shown late at night. Aren't these rules too strict for the creativity of a publicity agency? Mr Nolan gave us his opinion on the subject. I don't think the rules are strict. I actually think they're fair. They ... they're there to protect the public, the audience, from unnecessary views of violence, of aggression, sexism, racism. Things like you cannot say your car is the fastest car in the world, unless it is. So I think that's a good thing. It's like a football game. The rules are there to protect you, the player and the audience from unnecessary violence, for instance. But at the end of the day it creates a good game. You can all participate and enjoy.

MODULE 6 TELEVISION TRANSCRIPTS

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HOLIDAY TIME
LET'S TAKE A HOLIDAY!

Agent Good morning. Can I help you? Valerie Yes, we'd like to go on holiday. Agent Well, you've come to the right place! What kind of holiday are you interested in? Valerie We're not sure. Weve just decided that we want to go on holiday. We need a break. Agent Europe? The Far East? Or do you prefer America? The Seychelles or Torquay? Valerie We'd rather go to Spain. Agent Spain? Why do you want to go to Spain? Valerie Because we like the sunshine and the people and the language and the food ... Agent OK. OK. Fine. You're the customer. It's your holiday. Now what sort of holiday? Do you prefer beach holidays to activity holidays? Would you rather have a hotel or a self-catering apartment. Valerie We want a hotel by the beach. Agent I see. And how long do you want to go for? Bernard A few days. Valerie Ten days. Valerie A week. Bernard Agent Perhaps it would be better to stay in England. In Torquay, in the west of England, it can be very sunny in July - up to thirty degrees. They say it has reached thirty-three ... although I can't guarantee it, of course. Valerie But we want to go to Spain. Agent You don't want to go to Spain by air. Not next week. There will be flight delays. At this time of year, the air traffic controllers all go on strike. Heathrow is full of screaming children. Going on holiday abroad can be a nightmare. I wouldn't advise it. Valerie What kind of travel agent are you? Agent I'm a friendly travel agent and I would advise Torquay. Bernard Torquay ... Agent Ah, Torquay! There are beautiful, sandy beaches, clean beaches! Very nice restaurants. One of the best things about Torquay is ... *** Agent ... is that it is close to Brixham. Valerie So what? Agent Fresh fish, that's what. Fresh fish every day, off the fishing boats. Do you like fresh fish? Bernard Yes! Agent Then go to Torquay. Valerie If all I wanted on holiday was fresh fish, I wouldn't go to Torquay, I'd go to Brixham. Agent You're right. The fish is fresher in Brixham ... but

unfortunately all vacancies in Brixham have gone. Valerie Why do you insist that we should go to Torquay? Agent Oh, was I insisting? Well, it's because I always go there for my holidays. Valerie I don't want to go to Torquay. Agent Have you ever been there? Valerie No. Agent Well, you could just be lucky . . . Mind you, most places are fully booked at the moment. Bernard I've never been to Torquay. We could go by train. Valerie No, Bernard. He's mad. Agent Oh, no, no, no, no, no! This is terrible! I can't believe it! Bernard What's the matter? Agent Everything is booked up. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Valerie Come on, Bernard. We're wasting our time. Agent Just a minute. There might be one possibility here. Yes! My, word! You are a lucky couple. Bernard I'm sorry? Agent Shangrila! How perfect! Valerie What? Agent It's a guest house in Torquay. Mrs Chambers that's the landlady - has just had a cancellation for next week. What good luck! It's bed and breakfast. It's terrific value -just ten pounds a night per person. Bernard That's reasonable. Agent A traditional English cooked breakfast. Can't you smell the bacon and eggs and grilled tomatoes? Valerie I want more than a good breakfast. Agent Yes, of course you do. You want an ice-cream! Bernard What facilities does Mrs Chambers' guest house have? Agent You would have your very own wash basin which would, of course. be en suite. In the residents' lounge, there is a television with full colour. *** Agent Have a good time . You'll love it. Bye ... Mum? Guess what. I have a very nice couple coming to stay with you next week. Mr and Mrs Wilson. Now, Mum, these are important customers ...

SUNSHINE ALL THE WAY

Street interviews Mrs Addison Oh, the weather was really marvellous. It was sunshine all the way, and we did enjoy it. Lin On my last holiday, I went to New England in America, and it rained all the time. The weather was really dreadful. David The weather on my last holiday was terrible. It rained every day. Sara The last holiday I had in fact was a couple of weeks ago in Devon, which was rainy and horrible. I wish I could have gone on a nice,

sunny beach. Melissa We went to a holiday camp; and the weather was all right. Don't make me laugh! Danny Thank you. Thank you very much. Do you like travelling? My wife - she likes travelling. She'd rather travel than do anything else. So, when she said she wanted to see the world.... Man You bought her a map! Danny Oh, you've heard that joke before. Never mind! Yes, I bought her a map. The old jokes are the best jokes. When I go on holiday, I like to forget my worries, forget my problems - I like to forget everything. Yes, but unfortunately, when I arrive at my hotel and open my suitcase, I find that I have forgotten. everything. No? When I arrive at my hotel and open my suitcase, I find that I have forgotten everything. My wife prefers a 'cultural' holiday to a beach holiday. Oh, yes, she's very sophisticated ... Well, I used to think she was very sophisticated. This year, I asked her, 'Would you like a book for your birthday?' 'No, thank you,' she said. 'Why not?' 'Because I've already got one.' Oh, never mind. Anyway, my wife and I decided to go to Venice this year for a 'cultural' holiday. Yes, Venice. Have you been there? To Venice? In Italy? Yes? You have? It isn't a bad place, is it? It's not very modern, but the ice-cream is excellent. While we were in Venice, the weather was beautiful. It was sunny every day. But we only stayed for a few days. Why? Because the city was full of water! There was water everywhere. We had to travel everywhere by boat. It was very strange! My wife was sea-sick crossing the street. My wife was sea-sick, crossing the street. Oh, well, please yourselves. Anyway, it's time for a song. Music, maestro! The ad spot Voiceover Here are the Ackroyds. That's Mr Ackroyd. He looks tired, doesn't he? He's worked very hard in his office all year. And there's Mrs Ackroyd. They need a good holiday. Mr Ackroyd A good holiday. That's what we need - a good holiday. Voiceover Yes, relax. That's it. Oh, what fun. Mrs Ackroyd Let's go to a beach - a lovely, sandy beach. Voiceover Don't forget your chairs . . . And the sandwiches ... An~ the tea ... And the bucket and spade ... And the beach ball. Mrs Ackroyd And the sun cream? Mr Ackroyd Oh, you won't need sun cream. And you won't need those sunglasses. Mrs Ackroyd Now we're ready to have fun. Mr Ackroyd Maybe we ought to take an umbrella. Voiceover No. You have forgotten something. The new Cromer windbreaker. That's it. The new Cromer windbreaker - for the North-Sea winds. You won't get cold with the Cromer windbreaker. That's it. Two people can easily carry the new Cromer windbreaker. Now you

are ready for the beach. Mr Ackroyd Yes, we prefer the new Cromer windbreaker. Mrs Ackroyd Because, in Great Britain we have to be prepared for all types of weather. Street interviews Keith I'd rather go on a touring holiday, because I don't like spending too much time in the sunshine. Mrs Addison I'd rather go on a touring holiday, I think. Somewhere where we can see something different, rather than just sunshine. Marcella I'd prefer to go on a sunshine holiday and do some sunbathing. Frank I'd prefer to go on a touring holiday where I can experience the culture of the country and meet the people. Sara I prefer sunshine holidays. The English weather is so bad. It's always raining, and it's really nice to go and lie on a nice, hot, sunny beach. Song time The Costa Torquay It can be windy on the Isle of Capri. It's always busy and noisy in Paree. We think it's a bit too Italian in Rome. We'd rather be somewhere closer to home ... Come to the Costa Torquay. It's by the sea. You can stroll arm in arm, In the shade of the palms, On the Costa Torquay. There are too many French in Calais. Jamaica is much too far away. It's too cold in Sweden, it's too hot in Spain. No, we prefer Devon - you can get there by train. Come to the Costa Torquay. I love B&B! You can sing, you can dance, You can look for romance. It's much nicer than France, On the Costa Torquay.

DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO): This is Dublin, the capital of Ireland. Sara (VO): And this is the Liffey, the river that flows through Dublin and divides it into two: the north and the south. Gary (VO) Dublin's modern Irish name, Baile Atha Cliath, is a reference to an old bridge over the Liffey, and it reflects the importance of the river for Dublin. Sara (VO) Unfortunately the Irish language in Dublin is present in little more than car plates or street signs. Gary (VO) Across O'Connell Bridge towards the south is Trinity College, founded by Elizabeth the First of England. Sara (VO) Inside Trinity College is the beautiful Old

Gary (VO) Sara (VO) Gary (VO) Sara (VO)

Sara (VO) Gary (VO) Street seller Interviewer (VO) Street seller Interviewer (VO) Street seller Interviewer (VO) Street seller Interviewer (VO) Street seller Interviewer (VO) Street seller Gary (VO) Sara (VO)

Library, with some of the oldest Irish manuscripts. Opposite Trinity College is the Bank of Ireland, originally built as the seat of the Irish Parliament. And nearby is Dublin Castle, the symbol of English power in Ireland. The English viceroys lived there for many centuries. The English left many things in Ireland: their language and their architecture. Dublin is a city full of life, with over two thousand pubs where you can sing, dance and talk over a pint of Guinness, the famous Irish dark beer. It's also very pleasant to go for a walk around the popular Moore Street Market. Dubliners are friendly people, always ready to engage in conversation. Anyone there for tobacco? Anyone there for tobacco? Anyone there...? Excuse me, where do you come from? Dublin. Dublin! Mmm. Would you recommend Spanish tourists to come to Ireland? I would, certainly. Why? Because our part of it is friendly and it's nice for tourists, and the country preferably for the scenery. So, what part of Ireland would you recommend to tourists? Killarney, Donegal, Wexford. That's the country, is that right? Oh, there's lots of parts. Following her advice, we travelled to the Ring of Kerry, an area in the southwest. This part of Ireland, surrounded by high mountains, is unspoiled, with beautiful lakes and rivers. The weather here is very mild all year round, with temperatures between 8 and 16 degrees Centigrade. There are lots of routes you can take: on foot ... by bicycle ... by boat ... on horseback or in a horse-drawn carriage. It's not surprising that the Ring of Kerry, with its typical picturesque villages, attracts thousands of tourists, who come to this part of Ireland looking for beautiful scenery or a relaxing holiday.

Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie George Valerie George Rosie George Rosie

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FOOD AND DIET

A TEASPOONFUL OF CHILLI

Rosie Valerie Rosie Valerie Rosie

George wanted to know if I could cook. Oh, dear. What did you say? I told him I could cook. Why? I didn't want to tell him the truth. George loves

food. He talks about food all the time. He's passionate about it. He loves oysters. So do I. Yuk. They're disgusting. George would be so disappointed if he knew I couldn't cook. So I told him I was a brilliant cook. Why did you lie? To please him. He's going to find out sooner or later. He's going to find out next Friday. How? He's coming round to my place for a meal. Oh, no! Yes. When I boasted about my cooking, he got very excited. He said he had to taste my speciality. What's your speciality? I don't have one. You know my favourite dish. Sausages with mashed potatoes. Yes, and I can't give George sausages with mashed potato. Valerie, you have got to help me. You have to tell George the truth. Never! Valerie, you've got to help me, please. You've got to teach me to cook. You can teach yourself. There are lots of good cookery books. *** What were you going to suggest, then? Why don't you cook for George at our house? I know a dish that will drive him wild. I got the recipe when I was on holiday in France. I'm not going to cook snails or expensive French food! No, don't worry. This dish doesn't cost very much, it tastes delicious and it's easy to cook. But you'll need to buy the ingredients. Ok. I'll just get a pen and write them down. You want two fillets of white fish. Two fillets of white fish. What kind of white fish? Fillets of cod will be fine. But you must make sure that the fish is fresh. Fresh fillets of cod. Half a medium-sized onion. Half a medium-sized onion. A hundred grams of flour. How much flour? A hundred grams. What's that in ounces? I don't know. You'll have to look it up. One teaspoonful of chilli sauce. Hang on. Could you go a bit more slowly, please? A hundred grams of chopped green peppers. Hello, Valerie. I've run out of basil, so I've come to buy some. You could have taken some from the garden. We've got lots. Hi, Rosie, what are you doing here? I'm just buying the ingredients for Friday. I'm really looking forward to tasting your speciality. Mmm! You'll love it! ***

Valerie Oh, when you're cooking the sauce, you must taste it. It may need a pinch of salt or pepper ... Rosie I mix the butter with the flour and put the five teaspoons of chilli with the chopped tomatoes ... four ... five ... and add the pure. George Hello, Rosie. Rosie George, you re early! George I'm hungry. I'm so excited about this meal. You know, this morning I didn't have any breakfast. Rosie George, I don't want you to watch. It'll make me nervous. Have a drink. George Of course. A good chef must have room to breathe. You must have space to create. Rosie Add the bay leaf ... pour on the wine mixed with water ... and add the chilli ... George You know, my last girlfriend didn't have any interest in food. Oh, and she hated oysters. Do you like oysters? Rosie I love them. Yes, they're so delicious with frogs' legs ... Mmmm. That's delicious. You'll love this ... George Mmm! That must be good. *** George Are you all right? Rosie Yes. I'm all right now. George Good. Look, why don't we go out to eat? Rosie Yes. George A nice, cold bottle of champagne might help to cool your mouth. Rosie Oh. yes. George And some oysters. I know just the place to get the most beautiful oysters you could imagine.

never mind. But my wife - I knew that she wasn't a food lover. She gave me a fork to eat the soup. A fork! She gave me a fork to eat the soup! I always say to her, 'Darling, what's this on my plate?' She says, 'Why do you want to know?' I say, 'Because I may have to describe it to my doctor later!' Every time she cooks a new recipe, I get a new prescription from my doctor. Yes, a new prescription from my doctor. But I love cooking. Yes, I do! All my family are good cooks. My Uncle Bert is a fanatical cook. He even puts salt and pepper on his toothpaste! He even puts salt and pepper on his toothpaste! Thank you! Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience! Thank you very much. The ad spot Voiceover This man is a successful accountant. But today men need to learn to cook, because women are going out to work. Ah, he's found the note. Most British men can't cook. But it isn't difficult with Mr Beeton's Cook Book. First of all, you have to find the kitchen. Yes, that's the kitchen. You cook food in the kitchen. Now today we're going to start with something simple. Yes, we're going to make an omelette and chips. First of all, we need some potatoes. Yes, well done. That's a potato. No, no, no. Don't do that. You have to peel potatoes and cook them before you eat them. Now you need a few eggs. They're kept in the fridge. No, the fridge is that cold place in the corner. That's good. No, put that beer back in the fridge. We don't need beer to make an omelette, do we? Now, take out the eggs. That's it. Now take a frying pan. No, that's a spatula. That's it. And now pour a tablespoonful of oil into the frying pan. Well done! That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wife Hello, darling. This food looks good. Well done. You see, it really is easy for men to cook with Mr Beeton's Cook Book. Street interviews Sara I don't do any cooking. My partner does all the cooking in our household. Mr Saunders I cooked a pasta only last night. It was, basically, put the pasta in the saucepan, put some water to it and boil it up, put some garlic and some onion into a saucepan and a bit of tomato sauce, heat that up and mix them together - very nice meal. Rowshon Toast the bread and put some cheese on it ... I don't know! Marcella The easiest recipe I know is jacket potato, where you scrub the skin, pop it in the oven for about an hour and a half, take it out, butter it and eat it. Song time Oysters and champagne He takes my coat, then takes my hand, 'Arc you hungry?' I say, 'Yes'.

OYSTERS AND CHAMPAGNE

Street interviews David I think a Spanish person coming to Britain should certainly try fish and chips. Mr Addison I would recommend to order fish and chips. It's eaten all over the world, and certainly all over England. Frank I'd recommend a casserole with lots of meat and vegetables. Sara I would recommend that a Spanish visitor tries our Yorkshire pudding and roast beef and roast potatoes. Keith I recommend fish and chips - very tasty. Don't make me laugh! Danny Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Do you like drama? You do? You like drama? History? Comedy? Tragedy? You do? Then you will love my wife's cooking. Yes, her cooking is a tragedy. Her cooking - it's so bad that it's a tragedy! No, but seriously, my wife's a wonderful woman. But the first time I saw her in the kitchen, I knew she wasn't a good cook. She was trying to open an egg with a tin opener. She was trying to open an egg with a tin opener! And I will never forget the day that she boiled some eggs in water, and then served the water as chicken soup! She boiled the eggs in water and then served the water as chicken soup. Oh,

He whispers, 'Close your eyes, it's something special, try to guess. I taste it once, I taste it twice, a little salt, some spice, A pinch of herbs, a drop of wine. What is it? Something nice. It isn't oysters and champagne, It is delicious, but not oysters and champagne. The kind of dish that makes you think of sunny Spain, Or Paris in the rain. It isn't oysters and champagne, My only wish is 'let me taste that dish again'. I want the recipe, so tell me, what's its name? Give me more of the same, Though it's not oysters and champagne. No, it's not oysters and champagne.

DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) British cuisine doesn't have a very good reputation. Most visitors to the United Kingdom think British food is boring and not very tasty. If you ask them for the name of a typical British dish, most of them will only say 'fish and chips'. Gary (VO) Fortunately, this is not the only British dish. The British are beginning to take more and more care of what they eat, and in the last few years a number of good restaurants have opened with some really delicious traditional dishes. Sara (VO) We asked an expert gastronome, Fiona Burrel, why British cuisine isn't as well-known as that of other European countries. Fiona Burrel I think because in the last century a lot of French chefs came over to work in Britain, and they worked in the large houses, and they worked in hotels. And they brought with them French cuisine, so for many years the typical cuisine or cooking that you would get in Britain, in the large grand houses or in restaurants, hotels, would be French. Then in..., during the Second World War, in the 1940s, early 1940s, there was very little food around for the people to eat and they had to make the most of what they had, and they had very poor food. They had to cook it for a long time to extract every bit of goodness from it. And so they really forgot how to cook. There is very good British food around, and in the last twenty years it's becoming much, much better. The restaurants are getting very good and people at home are becoming more interested in food and cooking. So I would say it's changing quite a lot now. Gary (VO) Fiona Burrel is the principal of 'Leith's School', a private school that trains the future gourmets of British cuisine. Sara (VO) As Fiona Burrel said, in the last few years the British, especially the young, have become interested in good food. That's why this type of

school has more students every year. Gary (VO) The students can take different courses: a three-month course on a concrete topic, or a one-year course which prepares the students for various jobs in restaurants. Sara (VO) In these courses, the students learn how to choose food for its quality, the right type of wine for each dish, and, of course, how to prepare different dishes. Gary (VO) But they don't only learn theory. They also practise. The school has a fully equipped kitchen where the students can practise what they've learned in the classes and prepare their own dishes. That way, the students learn to appreciate good-quality food, and have a good time looking for new flavours and creating new dishes, or simply learning how to cook their favourite dishes. Sara (VO) We asked Wendy, a student at Leith's School, why she's interested in cooking. Wendy I love food. I think cooking is a very creative career. And I like trying new recipes. And, of course, I like to eat the food. Gary (VO) We also asked Wendy to tell us what her favourite cuisine is and why. Wendy I like all nationalities. I think every country has something interesting. But my favourite food is Italian, mainly because they use local produce. I love pasta and it makes me think of the sunshine. Sara (VO) But the best thing about Leith's School is that the students can 'eat the exercises'. Gary (VO) This is good proof that learning is not only food for the spirit, but also for the body.

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GOSSIP
YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT!

George Do you remember the first time you met old Victor Knowles? It was very funny. It happened the day after you cooked a meal . . . *** George Hello, Valerie. Valerie George! George For you! Valerie Oh, thank you. George No, thank you for the meal last night. It was fantastic. I wish Rosie could cook as well as you do. In fact, I wish she could cook. Valerie Oh, George, there's a man in your garden. George Yes: that's Vic. Valerie What's he doing there? George He's doing some gardening for me. Valerie Are you sure he knows about gardening? George No ... but he hasn't got a job at the moment. Valerie I'm not surprised. George He said he had some problems. Valerie Yes. I can see that. George Some emotional problems.

*** Valerie How was work? Bernard Awful! Maggie came in. You know what she's like. She talks and talks. She gossips about her neighbour's brother's wife's minor operation last year. Valerie Bernard! Bernard What are you reading? Valerie Its an article about Quinten Sayles' new wife. You should read it. Bernard You know I'm not interested in gossip. The newspapers make these stories up. None of them is true. Valerie It doesn't matter if the stories are true, as long as they're interesting. Bernard I'm not interested in an old film star's fifth wife Whose are these? Valerie They're mine. Bernard Yes, but who are they from? Valerie Guess. Bernard Are they from George? Valerie Aren't they beautiful? He's so thoughtful and kind. He's a real gentleman. Rosie is a lucky woman. Bernard You're not jealous of her, are you? Valerie No. I'm pleased she's found someone so considerate. Bernard Hmm. I can be considerate too, you know. Valerie I know you can, darling. Bernard Valerie, who's that man in our garden? Valerie That's Vic. Bernard What's he doing there? Valerie He's gardening. Bernard That's Vic Knowles, isn't it? I've heard a few things about him. Valerie Who is he? Bernard He suddenly appeared in the town a couple of years ago. No one knows where he came from. No one knows where he lives. He just suddenly appeared. There were lots of rumours about him. Phil's sister-in-law thought he was a criminal. I think he looks dangerous. Valerie I think he looks sad. Bernard I wish he wouldn't wave that axe around like that. *** Vic Hello. Hello. Could I have a cup of tea? Rosie Yes ... of course. Vic And a chat. Rosie A chat? What about? Vic I like to chat about anything. The weather, the trees, the flowers, the past. I get lonely. Rosie OK. Come in. I'll get you a cup of tea. *** Vic There was a terrible storm last week, wasn't there? Rosie Was there? Oh, yes ... Bernard Rosie, are you all right? Rosie Yes. Bernard Thank goodness. Put the axe down on the floor. Now move towards the door slowly. That's it. Open the door and go outside. He's a dangerous man. Vic Could I have some milk and a little sugar in my

tea? Rosie I had no idea he was dangerous. That was very brave of you to save me like that. Bernard Go and phone the police. Tell them there's a dangerous man in the garden of number twelve. Tell them I have disarmed him. Rosie Are you sure he's dangerous? Bernard Yes. You must hurry! *** Valerie I think Bernard was just trying to be helpful. Bernard Yes, well. I heard from Phil's sister-in-law that he was a dangerous criminal. George Ah, well, you shouldn't believe all that gossip. Do you know, Vic is so gentle that he gets upset if he has to cut down a tree.

DON'T TALK BEHIND MY BACK!

Street interviews Chloe I gossip about boys. Melissa Me too. Lin Some gossip I've heard lately is that two people I work with, who've worked together for many years, are now a couple. They've had ... they've begun a relationship after all this time, and everyone is very pleased about it - we like them both. Marcella I don't gossip a lot really, just if people want to know something and I know it, then I'll tell them. Don't make me laugh! Danny Thank you! Thank you very much! Do you like small talk? There is a lot of small talk in the street where I live. There's Mrs Evans who lives at number forty-two. You can always tell when she's gossiping ... you can see her lips move. You can always tell when she's gossiping ... you can see her lips move. But she's a marvellous woman. Last week she told me that she was thirty years old ... But I know she's celebrating the twenty-fifth anniversary of her thirtieth birthday. She's celebrating the twenty-fifth anniversary of her thirtieth birthday. I said to her, I said, 'Don't you remember when you were born?' And she said, 'No, I was too young'. Oh, there's nothing like a good joke, is there? Man No. And that was nothing like a good joke. Danny And there's Mr Jones who lives at number twentyfour. He's always talking behind people's backs ... well, he's a barber. Yes, he's always talking behind their backs. You know ... talking about them without them knowing ... He's always talking behind their backs ... well, he's a barber. He's cutting hair behind their backs. Oh, never mind ... And then there's Mr Simpson who lives at number sixty-three. He lives on his own now. Mrs Simpson left. He said to her, 'Darling, how can you leave me?' And she said, 'It's easy - I can go by taxi, by car or on foot'. Well, they say the old jokes are the best ...

Song time Gossip, ooh, gossip Gossip, ooh, gossip. Have you heard about my cousin's best friend's son, Who used to go next door to have some fun? When the husband came home, he had to get up and run. Gossip, I love gossip. Have you heard about my cousin's sister-in-law? Well, I wouldn't like to tell you everything I saw, When her neighbour called and didn't close the door. Gossip, yeah, gossip. Have you heard about my cousin's husband's mother, Who ran away with her best friend's brother? When that didn't work, she ran away with another. Gossip, I love gossip. Ooh, gossip. Street interviews Mr Addison Oh. the best place to hear gossip is in the shops. Mrs Addison Well, I think the best place is at coffee mornings. Sara The best place to hear gossip, for me, is in my office around the coffee machine. Rowshon The best place to hear gossip is at the pub. David I think the best place to hear gossip is at work. When people are at work they gossip a lot. Marcella On the bus, that's the best place to hear gossip. The ad spot Woman This is the Small Talk Manual! It's marvellous! Before I had this manual, I used to be like this sad man behind me. Darling! Man I'm sorry? Woman I said 'darling'! Man But I don't know you. Woman At parties, I call everyone 'darling', darling. Man Oh. Woman How are you? Man I'm very depressed. Woman Never mind. Have a drink. Man My uncle died last week. I went to his funeral. Woman I hate funerals. I never look good in black. Man My wife left me on the day before the funeral. Woman Really. How interesting. I say! He looks very smart! Whose husband's that? Man My wife went off with my best friend. Woman Do you like the colour of my dress? It's pretty, isn't it? Man Yes. On the way back from the funeral, I had a car accident. Woman What colour was the car? Man It was red.. Woman I love the colour red, don't you? Man I feel so lonely. No one listens to me. Woman Hi, Miranda. I'm sorry, darling? That was Miranda. Doesn't Miranda look lovely? Man I was saying no one listens to me. Woman I know, darling ... um ... but the weather's good for

this time of year. Man People don't understand. Life is so sad. We're all going to die in the end. Woman Really? Do you like Daphne's new hairstyle? Man It's all right, I suppose. Woman I love Michclangelo, don't you? Man Yes! Have You seen the Piet at St Peter's in Rome? Woman St Peter's? Oh, no, darling, Michelangelo's hairdressing salon is in St John's Wood, London. It's not easy to make Daphne look pretty, but Michelangelo can do it. He's an artist, you know. Man I like talking to you. You're the first person who's ever listened to me. Woman That's because I use the Small Talk Manual. Man I feel you really understand what I'm saying ... do you know, many years ago ... Woman Daphne, darling! You look so pretty - I just love your hair. Yes. The Small Talk Manual - it really works. Hello, daaaaarling!

DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) This is Fleet Street. For many years the offices of the most important newspapers in the United Kingdom were here. But now most of them have moved to other parts of London. Fleet Street, however, remains a symbol for all the British press. Sara (VO) The British are possibly the biggest newspaper readers in the world. But they're also very interested in all kinds of gossip. Gary (VO) There are a lot of sensationalist newspapers in the United Kingdom. They're called 'tabloids'. They're very popular and they include information on scandals about famous people in show business, in finance and in politics. We have a spokesman of one of those newspapers who is here to explain what a tabloid is. It's Bernard Shrimley, and he works for the Daily Express. We asked him for a definition of what a tabloid is. Bernard Shrimley When we talk about a tabloid, we almost always mean the shape of the newspaper, a small sheet. But in Fleet Street we tend to regard tabloid as a state of mind, or a method, a technique of presentation. It's going for the general public, populist. Sara (VO) Tabloids are very successful in the United Kingdom. Their circulation is four times larger than that of serious newspapers. But why are they so successful? That's what Andreas Wittam-Smith, editor of 'The Independent' is going to explain to us. Andreas Wittam- First of all, Britain is quite a small Smith country, so newspapers produced in London can circulate all over the country.

Sara (VO)

Andreas WittamSmith

Sara (VO)

And we are ... we have many people, we have fifty million people. So newspapers can achieve very large circulations. And if they do, they have less need of advertisers. And in those circumstances, newspapers can provide a very racy, popular, daring, intrusive coverage, which is what happens in this country. The Royal Family is the main focus of gossip in the United Kingdom. Any event in the life of any member of the Royal Family becomes front-page news in all the tabloids, especially if they're about Lady Di or Prince Charles. Of course, it's logical that everything about the Royal Family is important news in the United Kingdom. But, as the editor of the Independent says, the difference between the serious press and the tabloids, is in the way they report the news. Well, I think newspapers in this country divide into two, whether you see your job as being entertainment, or whether you see your job as being fundamentally news. And the dividing line is very clear. And the yellow press, as you call it, sees the job as being purely entertainment, and the rest of the market sees it as being news. If you see it as being entertainment, then you begin to invent stories, you go into a fantasy land, and most of all you want to have a soap opera, if you can find it. And we in Britain have a perfect soap opera, and it's called the Royal Family. In the end, the public has the last word. In the United Kingdom there are over twenty national newspapers and over one thousand five hundred regional and local papers. So it's up to you to choose between news or gossip.

Valerie Mr Mott Bernard Mr Mott Bernard Mr Mott Bernard Mr Mott Bernard Valerie Mr Mott Bernard Valerie Mr Mott Valerie Mr Mott Valerie Mr Mott Valerie Mr Mott

Valerie Mr Mott

4
A

STEREOTYPES
FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard Dale Valerie Dale Valerie Dale

Bernard Valerie! The roof is leaking badly in the small bedroom. Valerie I know. I mentioned it last night. Bernard But my cricket equipment is getting ruined! Valerie We'd better ask someone to look at it. Bernard It's so difficult to find a good builder these days. And it'll probably cost a fortune. Valerie We might be able to find someone local, who's not too expensive. Perhaps someone who works on his own ... Here's one that looks good ... *** Mr Mott Mr Wilson? Good afternoon, I'm Adrian Mott. I understand you've got some problems with your

Valerie

roof. . . Good afternoon. You must be Mrs Wilson. Very pleased to meet you. What a charming house you have! Thank you. So, what seems to be the trouble? Well, we have a leaking roof. All my cricket equipment is getting ruined. Oh, are you interested in cricket, then? I certainly am. Isn't every Englishman? It's in our blood. Absolutely. So have you followed the match against Sri Lanka? I certainly have. Well, some of the time. I think England may win, don't you? Oh, I'm not sure about that ... Shall we have a look at the leak now? By all means. Lead the way. So how do you think England will do against Australia this winter? Oh, I think that could be a tough match. The Australians are very competitive. So what do you think, Mr Mott? I agree with Bernard. England will have a difficult time in Australia. Those Australians are a lot of cheats. I mean, about the roof. Oh, I see. Well, it's difficult to say what's causing the leak. It could be a number of things. *** So what do you think, Mr Mott? It's difficult to say, really. I can't see much from here. Well, why don't you use the ladder? ... What's wrong, Mr Mott? Is there something wrong with our ladder? No, no, it's just that I'm not very ... I used to take my own ladder around with me. I mean. I don't think I'm insured for this sort of thing. I could get one of my assistants to have a look later. Actually, I think I can see from here ... Yes, I think it must be one of the roof tiles over there. But the leak is over there. Yes, well, it quite often happens that way. Look, I tell you what. Ill go off now, and send you an estimate But you know, this isnt going to be cheap. Nice to meet you, Mr Mott ... Nice chap. He's the sort of man you can trust. Hmm, I'm not so sure. He's from an old, established company.. Oh, look. I think that's the other builder. Good grief! I'm Dale. Roof problems? *** Oh. yes. that's right. I'm so glad you could come. Lets have a look. It's that first-floor room, isn't it? It is. How did you know that? Well, I can see something's wrong from here. Let's have a closer look ... Thought so. It's your rainwater pipes. Need a whole new system ... Cost you about three hundred pounds. Fine. When can you start?

Dale Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard Dale Bernard Dale Bernard Valerie week? Dale Valerie Bernard Dale Valerie Bernard

Monday. Well, I didn't think much of him. What do you mean? Im not quite sure. There was something funny about him. And he was a bit rude. Well, he seems to know his job. But he'll be here next week, when we're at work. He might steal something. Oh, Bernard! Well, he has got an earring and tattoos. You can't trust people with earrings. *** There you are, Mrs Wilson. That might fix it. That's great. So how much do we owe you for that job? Oh, nothing, mate. Only took me five minutes. Most builders would charge a lot for doing that. Or perhaps you could come over for dinner next

people laugh about my Uncle Rob. He was Scottish and he died in the second World War. You see, he had a hand grenade. He pulled the pin out of the hand grenade, but he didn't want to throw it away! He didn't want to throw away the hand grenade! You know, at Christmas we have Christmas trees in our houses. Do you know how you can tell when it's summer in Scotland? Well, if you see a Scotsman throwing away his Christmas tree, it's probably summer! If you see a Scotsman throwing away his Christmas tree, it's probably summer! But, you know. I think it's wrong to judge people before you know them properly. Don't you agree? You do? Yes. They might be very nice. No, what I always say is, 'Wait until you know a person properly and then you can dislike them!' Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. You've been a wonderful audience. Good night. The ad spot John That's two bacon, egg and beans and two mugs of tea, love. 'Ello! Welcome to John's Cafe! I'm John. Everyone is welcome here. When you visit London, make sure you visit my cafe. We have a big menu. There's bacon and eggs ... bacon, eggs and beans ... bacon, eggs and chips, and beans ... on toast! Or beans. We get a lot of foreign tourists here everyone is welcome. The Italians are very welcome. Last week, we had lots of Italians in here, and it was chaos. They were arguing and shouting. They didn't like my coffee. They wanted spaghetti, but I gave them beans on toast. But I like the Italians. They have warm hearts. I have a lot of Germans in here. They are very welcome. They're always very precise and very neat. There were two Germans in here this morning. They thought my cafe was dirty, and I agreed with them. They didn't like the dirt on the table and the chairs, but they liked the bacon and the eggs. Oh, yes, I love the Germans. I've had Russians in here. I love the Russians. They're so sad. They cry into my eggs and say life is a tragedy. And Japanese tourists often come to eat here. Once they asked me for bacon, egg and noodles. I love the Japanese tourists. They love to take photographs of my wife and me in my cafe. Sometimes Scottish tourists come here as well. They might want porridge, and they may say my bacon and eggs are too expensive, but as long as they pay, everyone is welcome at my cafe - John's Cafe. Street interviews Lin ... friendly, outgoing and very talkative. Frank . . . lively, excitable and friendly. Melissa Well.... very mad. They wear long dresses, usually red, they have lots of celebrations, and they eat very strong, spiced food. David ... is warm, inventive, friendly, vivacious and good fun to be with. Keith ... slightly excitable and eating lots of garlic.

That would be nice. How about next Wednesday? Yes. Why don't you bring your partner? Yeah, sure. We'll look forward to that. See you. Thanks. Bye ... Such a nice chap. But he doesn't talk much. *** Dale Hello, Mr and Mrs Wilson. This is Peter. Peter, this is Bernard and Valerie.
THE SPANISH ARE . . .

Street interviews Lin A typical British person is reserved, polite and embarrassed. Frank British people are meant to be reserved and quiet, not loud and excitable. I disagree - I think British people are lively and friendly. Sara I would describe the typical British person as rather formal. Mr Saunders ... very difficult to describe a typical British person. I think there are all sorts. Some are shy, some are very outgoing, all sorts. Keith I think John Major is a typical British male straightforward, but a little bit dull. Marcella A typical British person is well-mannered, well-dressed and very patriotic. Don't make me laugh! Danny Thank you! Thank you! Thank you very much! I hope you aren't expecting any jokes about racial stereotypes? No, I don't tell Jewish jokes. Or Irish jokes. And I especially don't like Scottish jokes. You see, I'm Scottish myself. You know, people say the Scottish are mean - that they don't like spending money - well, it isn't true. For example, yesterday I spent fifty pence. Oh, yes I did. I went to the hairdresser's. I said to the hairdresser, 'How much is a haircut?' He said, 'It's a pound.' So then I said, 'How much for a shave?' He said, 'A shave is fifty pence.' So I said, 'OK, here's fifty pence - shave my head!' 'Here's fifty pence, shave my head!' And

Song time Nationality Have you seen the man with the old school tie? He's got an umbrella, he's reserved and shy, He doesn't like talking when he's walking so you needn't try. Who can he be, the man with the old school tie? He may be from Greece or Germany, He might be from Belgium - don't you agree? He could be Danish or Romanian, Dutch or Panamanian, No, he's British - can't you see? British is his nationality. Have you seen the woman with the long, black hair? She's proud and she's stubborn and she doesn't care. She can't stop her laughter after there's no one there. Who can she be, the woman with the long, black hair? She may be from Greece or Germany. She might be from Belgium - don't you agree? She could be Danish or Romanian, Dutch or Panamanian. No, she's Spanish - can't you see? Spanish is her nation-, Spanish is her nation-, Spanish is her nationality.

Sara (VO)

Gary (VO) Sara (VO) Actor Sara (VO)

Sara (VO) Gary (VO) Sara (VO) Gary (VO) Sara (VO) Gary (VO) Sara (VO) Actor Gary (VO)

DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) What are the British like? What do we know about them? The ideas the Spanish have about the British, are they correct? Gary (VO) We're going to have a look at some of these ideas and see if they're right or wrong. Sara (VO) One of them is that British businessmen always wear bowler hats and carry umbrellas. Gary (VO) But we've been walking around the City for a while and we haven't seen any. Sara (VO) Look! A typical British businessman. Excuse me, are you a real British businessman? Actor No. This is a joke. No British businessman dresses like this any more. The only uniforms you can see in the city today are business suits. Gary (VO) So this gentleman doesn't exist any more, except in films. British businesswomen and Gary (VO) Nowadays businessmen dress like those of any other country. Gary (VO) It's five o'clock: teatime. Gary (VO) In Spain, we think that, at five o'clock, everything stops for a refreshing cup of tea. Sara (VO) But, is this true nowadays? Actor No, it isn't. We have tea at any time in the day, the same as you have coffee. We British have tea with breakfast, tea at eleven o'clock in the morning, tea after lunch; then we have tea at teatime, tea after dinner, and tea at eleven o'clock pm. We never refuse the offer of a cup of tea. Gary (VO) They say that every Englishman is an island. Sara (VO) Maybe the British are individualists and love privacy, because they live on an island. Let's ask our man in London if this is true. Actor Yes, I think we British are quite different from

you continentals. We don't like our neighbours. We enjoy our privacy. Did you hear? He said 'continentals'. In the United Kingdom there are two groups of Europeans: the British and continentals, people from the other European countries. Due to their love of 'privacy', the British prefer to live in individual houses with their own gardens. Talking about gardens. Is it true that the British are great lovers of gardening? We love our flowers. Gardening is the perfect way of relaxing. It is the British way of life. We all have gardens. Another sign of their individualism is that they drive on the left-hand side of the road whereas in all other European countries people drive on the right. From now on, thousands of cars with the steering wheel on the left will come into Britain through the Channel Tunnel. There will be problems, but no one in Britain has suggested changing to driving on the right. The British have a reputation for being animal lovers. But, is it true? We think it is. About 49 per cent of British adults have a pet at home. And 46 per cent agree with the following statement: "The British prefer their pets to their family." Here's our man in London reading a publication for animal lovers. Can you read the advert aloud? Please, send a donation to help donkey Sara and her friends have a happy Christmas. This says it all. In what other part of the world could you find a similar advert asking for Christmas donations for a home for donkeys?

5
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THE BEST OF FRIENDS

WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR YEARS

Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard

Valerie Bernard Gran Valerie Bernard

What are you doing this evening? I'm going out with Anita. Don't you remember? No one tells me anything. I told you last week. We're just going out for a drink and a chat. You can come along with us, if you want. No, I'll be fine. I'll stay in. Someone has to keep Gran company. She wouldn't like to be left here on her own. She needs company. It's a terrible thing, being lonely. Oh, hello, Gran. How are you feeling? Are you OK? Yes, I'm fine. I'm late. I must go. You needn't wait up for me. Bye, darling. Bye, Gran. Have a nice evening, both of you. Well, Gran, what shall we do this evening? We

Gran Bernard Gran Bernard Gran Bernard Gran Bernard Gran Bernard Gran Bernard Gran Bernard Gran Bernard Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Gran Valerie Frank Bernard Frank Frank Valerie Bernard Gran Valerie Bernard Valerie Gran Bernard Valerie Gran

can have a chat about old times. Or we can have a game of cards or ... That's very thoughtful of you, Bernard. But I'm afraid I won't be at home this evening. I've got to get ready. Ready? For what? I'm going out with a friend. Goodness me, is that the time? *** Is it ... a woman friend? No It's a man, then. Yes, Bernard. It's a man. What I meant was, it's a man friend . . . rather than a woman friend ... if you see what I mean. Yes. Is it anyone that I know? No, you haven't met him yet. How long have you been seeing him? Oh, for about a week. Since last Sunday, actually. I see. And how old is this friend of yours. I mean, is he ... around your age? He's younger than me. His name is Frank, and I don't want to be late for him. No, of course not. Have a lovely evening, Gran. *** We don't know anything about Frank.. Oh, Bernard. I'm sure Gran can look after herself. She's very grown-up. I know she's grown-up. That's what I'm worried about. I mean, where are they going to tonight? What will they do? When will she come back? I'm sure Gran will be very sensible. She's a very sensible person. *** This is Frank. Valerie and Bernard, Frank. Very pleased to meet you, Frank. It's my pleasure. Good evening. Very good to meet you at last, Bernard. I've heard such a lot about you both. *** Well, it's been very nice meeting you. Goodbye. Goodbye, Valerie. Goodbye, Bernard. Goodbye! Well, Gran, Frank seems very nice. Yes. Very nice. I was very impressed. Yes. Bernard's been quite worried about you, Gran. Haven't you, Bernard? Oh, no, not really. Bernard thought Frank was going to be a young man, who was after your money. But he looked older than you. He just seems older. He's actually a year younger than I am. And he can't be after my money. He's actually quite rich. Really! Well, that's nice. And is there a future in your relationship? Well, he has just asked me to marry him if that's what you mean.

Valerie Gran Bernard Gran

Bernard Gran Bernard Gran

Has he really? Yes. How exciting. How romantic. Yes. But I don't think I will. In fact, I'm not sure if I'm going to see Frank any more. He's rather nosy always wanting to know what I'm doing. And he never stops talking about DIY. I wouldn't get much peace! Oh, good! I mean ... Well, of course, you must make the decision yourself, Gran. Yes, I must. Well, I'm going to think about it, Bcrnard. And Bernard ... Yes, Gran? Please don't call me Gran!

GETTING TOGETHER

Street interviews Mr Addison We've known each other for fifty-three years, and we've been married for fifty-two years. Frank I've known my girlfriend for a year and a half. Sara I've known my partner now for about eight years. In fact, we were going to get married seven years ago, but then I had a baby, so we didn't get married. David We were married fifteen years ago, so I've known my wife for fifteen years now. Keith I have known my wife for twenty-seven years, and we've been married for twenty-five years. In fact, we celebrated our silver wedding anniversary in June this year. Don't make me laugh! Danny Thank you! Thank you! Thank you very much! You know, friends are important, aren't they? Everyone should have friends. I love my friends, but I have a very special friend, called Fido. Fido has been living with me ever since he was a little, baby doggy-woggy - haven't you, Fidy-Widy-Bidy? Yes, everybody needs a best friend, and a dog is a man's best friend. He doesn't give you advice, he never tries to borrow money, and you don't have to buy him a coat - he's already got one! He's had one since he was born! You know, a dog's hair? His coat? You don't have to buy him a coat - he's already got one! He's had one since he was born! I love Fido. I don't care what anyone says - he's a fine guard dog. You know, if I hear any noises in the night, I wake him, and then he starts to bark. Don't you think that it's interesting that man's best friend can't talk? I once heard of a dog that could talk. But it's not possible. If a dog ever tells you he can talk, he's lying. If a dog ever tells you he can talk he's lying. Oh, he's a lovely dog. And he's good company. You know, I've been playing chess with him since he was little. You probably think that he's a very clever dog because he can play chess, but he's not really clever, because when Fido and I play chess, I usually win! Usually! And, now, ladies and gentlemen, shall I sing you a song? Yes! Thank you. I'd like to sing a little song I wrote myself, all about Fido. It's called, 'Everyone

needs someone to love, someone to share everything with, every day. If everybody had somebody, someone like Fido, then everything would be fine'. Music, maestro, please. The ad spot Voiceover 'I have gone forever. Goodbye. Love, Jeremy.' Do you want someone that you can depend on someone that won't let you down? Woman Yes, my boyfriend has left me again! Voiceover Are relationships difficult for you? Woman I don't trust anyone. Everyone lets me down. Voiceover Don't you wish you had someone to share your life with? Do you want someone that you can depend on? Woman Yes, but I don't want someone who looks at other women. I'm a very jealous person. Voiceover Yes, I understand. Then why not go and see Roy? If you talk to Roy and tell him what you want, he will help you. Roy will introduce you to someone that you can depend on. Roy I certainly will. At Roy's Pet Shop we will find the right pet for you. So if you're looking for someone that you can depend on - why not come and meet Rover? You can trust Rover. He'll always be there when you get home. He'll never let you down. Rover won't go for walks with other women, will you, Rover? No! He won't take your best friend out to dinner while you are visiting your mother. Oh, no! Rover will never let you down. So why not come to Roy's Pet Shop and meet the friend of your dreams? Street interviews Frank I usually meet my friends in the pub, or we go to the cinema or the theatre or the football match. Melissa I get together with my friends at a local disco. Marcella I get together with my friends at local pubs or nightclubs. *** Mr Saunders I have a lot of friends who are women, but I only have one wife. David I think men and women can be friends, but I don't think it's the same sort of friendship as between men and men, and women and women. Marcella I've got a load of friends, girls and boys, but the boys aren't boyfriends. Song time Have a little drink For an hour or so I've been watching you, You've been sitting alone at a table for two, No one has come, you've got nothing to do, Well me. I'm waiting, I'm waiting for someone, too. Won't you have a little drink with me? I could keep you company, I could make you feel better, If you need to cry, I want to hear your life history.

Won't you have a little drink, say 'cheers'? Just until your friend appears, We could tell a few jokes as the time goes by, Yes, we could laugh away every tear, Yes, we could laugh away every tear.

DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) We are in Dublin, the capital of the Irish Republic. Anyone who's visited this country knows that the Irish are friendly, kind and warm with foreigners. But what are they like to each other? Gary (VO) To find out, we're going to speak with a group of four Irish youngsters, Eve, Cahal, Siobhan and Vincent. They've been friends for four years. They met at school, and although now they go to different colleges, they still meet to talk and have some fun together. Eve was the first to answer our questions. Interviewer (VO) Is it easy to make friends in Ireland? Eve Ah, yes, it's very easy to make friends in Ireland. The Irish people are very friendly and outgoing and when you make a friend in Ireland, you make a friend for life. Very easy. Interviewer (VO) Where do you make friends? Eve You can make friends in the clubs and societies in the university, like the football club or the Martin Society, for example. Interviewer (VO) What would you like to find in a friend? Eve I'd like to find many things in a friend, like a sense of humour, loyalty, honesty, something like that. Sara (VO) Eve is a great sports-lover. Her favourite pastimes are gymnastics and jogging in the park. Eve studies History and lives at home with her parents. Vincent doesn't live with his parents any more. One big difference between Ireland and Spain is that Irish youngsters start living on their own very early. That's why we asked Vincent at what age they become independent. Interviewer (VO) At what age do young people start living on their own? Vincent Well, students leave home around the age of 17, whereas people who don't go to university like to leave home at the age of around twenty-two or twenty-three. Interviewer (VO) Do you still live with your parents? Vincent No, I moved into a flat with a group of friends as my house was too far away from the university. Interviewer (VO) Is it usual for young people to share a flat or a house with friends? Vincent Yes, it's very frequent as it's cheaper for young people to move in together and they have a lot more freedom also.

Interviewer (VO) How do you like living on your own? Vincent I love to live on my own as I can come in at whatever time I please and eat whatever I like. Gary (VO) Siobhan is the youngest in the group. She's eighteen. Siobhan is Cahal's girlfriend. They've been going out for a year, since she was seventeen. Is this a common age for girls to go out with boys? We asked Siobhan. Interviewer (VO) At what age does a girl usually start going out with a boy? Siobhan Usually when they're thirteen or fourteen, but maybe younger. It depends on the girl. Interviewer (VO) Is it usual for young people to go out together in groups? Siobhan Oh, yes. Boys and girls usually go out together in groups because it's a lot more fun and it's also safer, like when you are going home. Interviewer (VO) What's a common topic of conversation for friends, especially for girls? Siobhan For girls, they usually talk about boys or clothes, usually. Interviewer (VO) What time are boys and girls supposed to get home at night when they live with their parents? Siobhan It depends if they go to the pub and ... that closes at about half eleven, so they're expected home at twelve o'clock. But if they go to a disco, they're expected home at about half two. Sara (VO) Cahal is still living with his parents in the outskirts of Dublin. He loves Dublin. That's why he recommends Spanish students to go to Dublin to learn English. Interviewer (VO) Would you recommend Spanish students to come to Ireland? Cahal Yes, I would, because it's a very friendly country and when the Spanish students come over in the summer they usually get on very well with the locals. Interviewer (VO) What would you recommend Spanish students to do if they came to Ireland? Cahal If a Spanish student comes to Ireland, the best thing they can probably do would be to move in with a family, as that way they learn good English, they'll also learn the culture of their country and how a family works in Ireland. Gary (VO) So you've heard Cahals recommendation. If you decide to go abroad to learn English, you can go to the Irish Republic: a great place to make good friends.

6
A

TRADITIONS
WE HAVE A LOT TO BE PROUD OF!

Valerie I got a phone call from Jessica today. Bernard Jessica? Valerie Your second cousin, the one who lives in America. Bernard Oh, Jessica. Yes, I've heard of her. I've never met her, though. What's she doing? Valerie She's a student and she's coming over to England next month. She wants to stay with us for a few days. Bernard Great. Valerie She says she's very interested in history and tradition. She wants to have a look at some English traditions. Bernard Well, I'm not surprised. They haven't got many traditions in America. They have fireworks on the 4th of July and that's it. Valerie That's not quite true, Bernard. Bernard Well, we've got a lot to be proud of in this country. We have a great history and some fine traditions most people take for granted. It's so important to understand your heritage. Why don't we take a few days off work when Jessica is here. We could take her to some of the typically English places. Valerie Yes, she might like that. Bernard We could work out an itinerary. We can go to the Tower of London, where you can show her the Beefeaters and the Crown Jewels. Valerie Do you know, I've never been to the Tower of London. Bernard I don't think many English people have. We can go to Cambridge. We could see the King's College Chapel. We could go on the river in a boat and have a traditional English tea at Grantchestcr. You know, weve got a lot to be proud of in this country. I've got a brilliant idea! We could take her to the Henley Regatta and we could take a hamper and some strawberries. Jessica will love that. *** Jessica I'm so excited. I've always dreamed of seeing England. Bernard You probably thought we lived in a little cottage which had a thatched roof and roses growing all over it. Jessica No. Bernard Or did you think we lived in a manor house or a castle with a moat and a drawbridge? Jessica No. I didn't expect to see knights at the airport either. Bernard We've worked out a wonderful itinerary for you. The first place we're going to visit is Cambridge, and then we're going to the Henley Regatta. We're visiting Harrods and the Tower of London. And on your final day, we're going to go to a medieval banquet. Jessica That sounds really interesting. But is it for American tourists?

Bernard Jessica Bernard Jessica Bernard Jessica Bernard Jessica Jessica Bernard Jessica Bernard Valerie Jessica Bernard Jessica Bernard Jessica Bernard Jessica

Bernard Jessica Bernard Jessica Bernard Jessica

Bernard

There are some Americans. I don't want to meet American tourists. There are Japanese and German tourists as well. Do you know where Sheffield is? It's up in the north of England somewhere. I don't think you'll find anything interesting up there. There's an industrial museum I've heard about. I'd love to see it. An industrial museum! I'm interested in how real people lived. I mean ordinary people. *** I've traced the family back eight generations. Have you really? Well done! I think our family has a strong culture and tradition that goes way back into history. Oh, good. Well, tell us. Well, first, this side of the family were from Grimsby. From where? From Grimsby. In the north-east of England. Grimsby! For over two hundred years they were fishermen. How interesting. On this side of the family, Great-great-great-greatgreat-great-grcat-Uncle John worked in the textile industry in Manchester. It was right at the start of the industrial revolution. And you know what? He became a Shaker and emigrated to America. He became a what? A Shaker. That was his religion. How very odd. It's so interesting, don't you think? What is? Well, on the one hand, there's religion, and on the other hand, there's fish! Don't you want to come with me to Grimsby and discover your family heritage? Well, frankly, Jessica . . . I don't think I do.

Peter We all sing Auld Lang Syne at midnight, have a toast together and celebrate the New Year coming in. Chloe When it's 12 o'clock on New Year's Eve, we go round and kiss everybody. Mr Addison In the north of England, where I come from, New Year is celebrated by a ceremony, that we call 'first footing', that is to say, a dark-haired man will be the first to put his foot inside your door as the New Year enters, and he will bring with him three gifts. He will bring a little bread, so that you'll never be hungry, a little coal for wealth and a little salt for good health. Don't make me laugh! Danny I love the British traditions, don't you? Yes, I've just come back from a traditional British holiday. Yes, it was very traditional - we went to Spain. We had a traditional British holiday - in Spain! Thank you, madam. Yes, traditions ... My family, who are very traditional, always do the same thing every Christmas. First, we always go to church on Christmas morning. Second, we always have a big dinner - roast turkey with cranberry sauce. Third, we always watch the Queen's speech, which is on television in the afternoon. Fourth, we always play silly games in the evening. I really like Christmas, but there's one Christmas tradition which I don't like - I always spend too much money on presents! My wife and I had a wedding that was very old-fashioned. Very traditional. She looked beautiful, dressed all in white. I said to her afterwards, 'Well, did you enjoy the wedding, dear?' And she said, 'Well, yes, on the one hand, I did enjoy it, but on the other hand, I think I'll do it differently next time!' She said, 'I think I'll do it differently next time!' Well, thank you! Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. And now for a song! The ad spot Mr Teacher Life in the old days. What was it like? What did we use to do before we had television? Mrs Teacher How did people live without cookers or central heating? Mr Teacher Last weekend, we took the family to Oldfield Castle to find out. Mrs Teacher Oldfield Castle is educational and fun. Mr Teacher We learnt about the people who lived in the castle many years ago. We spent the whole day there. Mrs Teacher Jane and John, who are our children, really enjoyed it, didn't they, darling? Mr Teacher Oh, yes. There was a big festival at the castle. There were actors who were dressed up as medieval knights. Mrs Teacher It was so educational! And our children learnt a lot about British traditions, didn't they, darling? Mr Teacher We saw a kitchen which was four hundred

CHRISTMAS AND CASTLES

Street interviews Sara Because I don't cook, I celebrate Christmas by inviting all the neighbours into our house for champagne cocktails in the morning, and then we go to a hotel for lunch. Much easier - no washing up. Melissa I celebrate Christmas around the Christmas tree Chloe ... lots of presents. David I spend Christmas with my family. We have two children. We wrap up their presents on Christmas Eve. We open the presents in the morning. Then we have a wonderful, long meal late in the afternoon, and I'm afraid sometimes I drink a bit too much. But we all enjoy it very much, especially me. ***

years old. Mrs Teacher Yes, Jane was interested in the demonstration of medieval cooking. Mr Teacher John was more interested in the swords. They used to fight with swords in the old days. Mrs Teacher But Jane didn't like John hitting her with a sword. Mr Teacher No, Jane was very interested in the clothes that the women used to wear. Mrs Teacher She wanted to know why they didn't wear jeans. Mr Teacher And they said that there's a ghost at the castle. Mrs Teacher At night, a woman who has her head under her arm walks around the castle. Mr Teacher Yes, and then John tried to cut off Jane's head with a sword. Mrs Teacher But luckily. Daddy was able to stop him. Mr Teacher We saw the dungeons which they used in the old days. Mrs Teacher And Jane locked John in the dungeon. Mr Teacher The security guard who worked there was very angry. Mrs Teacher But it was educational. Mr Teacher And Oldfield Castle has a shop. Mrs Teacher We had to buy the children lots of things in the shop. Mr Teacher Postcards and flags, books, pencils, rubbers and notepads. Mrs Teacher It was educational but rather expensive. Mr Teacher And on the way home we stopped for a traditional English cream tea, which was delightful. Mrs Teacher Until Jane was sick in the car. Mr Teacher Oldfield Castle is fun for the whole family. Mrs Teacher No. Not the whole family. We're going to Oldfield Castle again some time, but we'll leave Jane and John at home. Song time Tradition He lives in a country house or two or three, He has breakfast and lunch and afternoon tea, He's part of our nation's history, Rather him than me! He's got lots of money. It costs a lot, To live in a castle and to keep it hot, To pay all the people who look after what he's got, I would rather not. Yes, they're the upper classes, the aristocracy, Not middle class or working class like you or me, We go round their stately homes to see our history, They're the British upper classes, The aristocracy, They're the British upper classes, The aristocracy. Street interviews Frank Yes, I think Britain should have a Royal Family. It's good for the tradition of the country. It attracts tourism, which brings money into the country and jobs for the people.

Sara I think we should have a Royal Family. I think it's part of our tradition, our heritage, and l don't think we should lose them. Melissa I think Britain shouldn't have a Royal Family because they take up too much money. David I don't really think Britain should have a Royal Family any more. I think it's a bit old-fashioned now. Marcella I do think Britain should have a Royal Family, because we've got a lot of history, and the Royal Family is part of that history.

DOCUMENTARY
(VO) Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressing-gown, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind him by the mild morning air. He held the bowl aloft and intoned: Introibo ad altare Dei. Sara (VO) With these words, at the Martello Tower, James Joyce's Ulysses begins. Ulysses and James Joyce are possibly the book and writer with the biggest influence on twentieth-century literature. Gary (VO) And as a homage to Joyce, people celebrate 'Bloomsday', a one-day celebration named after Leopold Bloom, the modern protagonist of Ulysses. Gary (VO) As in the book, the celebration starts at 8 o'clock at the Martello Tower. Sara (VO) Actors, actresses and Joyce admirers, dressed in period costumes, meet to recite, read or comment on passages from Ulysses. Actor ... Gary (VO) This unusual homage to Joyce attracts people from all over the world. Let's ask one of the participants why he's here. Interviewer (VO) Excuse me. May I ask you some questions? Fernando Yes, of course. Interviewer (VO) Why are you celebrating 'Bloomsday'? Fernando Well, I'm very fond of James Joyce. I like his literature very much and I think it's a good occasion to be here and have a good time. Interviewer (VO) What's your favourite character from Ulysses? Fernando Perhaps Molly Bloom, because this character is very honest, sensitive, sensual and attractive. Interviewer (VO) By the way, where do you come from? Fernando I come from Spain. Interviewer (VO) What are you doing here? Fernando I'm working. Interviewer (VO) Working? What do you mean? Fernando Well, I'm the director of 'That's English'.

Sara (VO)

Gary (VO) Sara (VO)

Gary (VO) Sara (VO) Sara (VO) Participant

Gary (VO)

And remember: reading Ulysses is very practical and unusual. Don't give up. Go for it. To take part in the celebration our television crew wore period costumes. This interview with our director was a joke. But he's a sincere admirer of Joyce. Many of the streets, public buildings and pubs mentioned in Joyce's Ulysses still exist today. And Joyce's followers reproduce the 24hour journey of Leopold Bloom around Dublin City on June the sixteenth nineteen hundred and four. A traditional lunchtime stop is at Davy Byrne's pub. Here, Joyce's admirers have a lunch of Gorgonzola cheese sandwiches and Burgundy, as mentioned in Ulysses. The celebration goes on for a whole day in different parts of Dublin. We are celebrating 'Bloomsday' because June 16th nineteen hundred and four was the day on which Ulysses was written by James Joyce, and it concentrates the whole novel on one day in the life of Dublin. And the town authorities offer a dinner, with another menu taken from the book.

Astrologer

Bernard George Bernard George Bernard George Bernard George Bernard George Bernard George Bernard George Bernard George Bernard George Bernard Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard

7
A

SUPERSTITION
TOUCH WOOD!

Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard George Bernard George Bernard

How did the interview go? They've offered me some freelance work. Great! I'm worried. I don't think I want to go freelance. I don't want to give up the security of my present job. You said you're bored with your job. I'm bored, but at least it's secure. If you're freelance, you never know what the future will hold. Sometimes you have to take risks. Valerie, you might have noticed that I am not one of life's great risk-takers. Then why are you smoking? I don't know if I should take the job or not. Write down all the good things about going freelance, and write all the positive things about staying in the job. That's a good idea. *** What's wrong with you? I'm confused. What should I do? I've tried the I Ching. That was no good. What did it say? It said, if you want something, you must be patient. But then I don't know if I want to

Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard

Valerie Bernard

change my job. I went to see Rosie's friend who's an astrologer. *** Well, Bernard ... It's hard to say ... you could be happy in your new job. On the other hand, you could be unhappy ... as well as happy.. *** It might rain. There might be some sunny intervals. Or it might be thunder and lightning. That's English weather! I tried the tarot cards. What did the cards tell you? That the only certain thing was death, but I knew that already. You know, Bernard, you worry too much. If only I could see into the future, then I wouldn't worry. Someone once said, life is like a very high bridge, and the secret of life is to walk across the bridge without fear. Yes, well, I prefer to go the long way round. I think walking across a high bridge without fear is pretty stupid. I need a sign. A sign? A black cat, a dream, a broken mirror. I'm superstitious. Why not toss a coin? Do you think that's the answer? Why not? Life is full of chance. Yes. Of course. That's a brilliant idea. Shall I toss the coin? No, you toss the coin ... no, Ill ... I'll toss the coin. Heads or tails? Shall I have heads or tails? I'll have heads ... If it's heads, I'll change my job. No, wait a minute, I'll have tails. It doesn't matter if you choose heads or tails. Of course it matters! *** Darling, I've got wonderful news! I got sacked today. What? I've lost my job. What's happened? The principal called me into his office. He said that there were some complaints about my work. My lectures were depressing the students. The principal asked me to leave. Oh, no! Oh, yes! I've got no choice. I have to take the freelance job. I'm so happy. Oh, Bernard. I know - I've been hell to live with. What's this? It's a Munch print. This is the picture of a man who is afraid to walk across the bridge of life. It will remind me not to be afraid to walk the bridge. It will look good in the living room, won't it? Why don't we put it in the hallway? OK. If I move this mirror, the picture could ... Oh, no! This is terrible!

Don't worry. I never liked that mirror much. I've broken the mirror! It was a cheap mirror. When you break a mirror, it's seven years' bad luck! Valerie That's just superstition. Bernard There must be a reason for the superstition. Valerie No, Bernard. There are no reasons for superstitions. They're just irrational fears. Valerie Bernard Valerie Bernard

HOROSCOPES ARE RUBBISH!

Street interviews Mrs Addison We don't read horoscopes because we think they're a load of rubbish. Lin I do read my horoscope because I hope to read good news about my day. However, if it's bad news, then I don't believe it. Sara No, I don't read my horoscope, because loads of other people read the same horoscopes, so how can it be the same for everyone? Melissa I read my horoscope only at the end of the week to see if it's right or not. Marcella I do read my horoscope, but I'll only believe it if it's good. The ad spot Woman Hello. That's a lot of money you have in your wallet. Man Yes, I'm taking my family on holiday today. Woman On holiday! But today is the day of the big horse race. Man The big horse race? Woman Yes, the Grand National. Man I'm not interested in horse racing. I'm going on holiday with my wife and children. Woman Yes, but when you go to the races, you can win a lot of money. Man I don't like betting on horses. Woman You don't like betting on horses? Why not? Man I always lose. Woman Ah, if you buy the Romany Lucky Charm, you're sure to win. Man I don't believe in lucky charms, thank you very much. Woman You should believe in lucky charms, sir. If you don't buy the Romany Lucky Charm, there will be a curse on your family for ever! It's only five pounds, sir. It will look good on your suit. Man A family curse! Oh, dear! Well, I'd better buy a Romany Lucky Charm. Woman Good. Here are the runners and riders for the Grand National ... *** Woman You see, the Romany Lucky Charm really does work. What about you, sir. Would you like the Romany Lucky Charm? Don't make me laugh! Danny Thank you. Thank you. Are you superstitious? No? I wasn't either. Not until last Sunday. I walked under

a ladder, and I've had bad luck ever since then - ever since I walked under that ladder. On Monday, I took the boat over to France. It was a disaster. It was terrible! As soon as we left the harbour, the boat started sinking. And do you know what? The radio operator didn't know how to spell SOS. No, he didn't know how to spell SOS. And then on Tuesday, I had more bad luck. I had a road accident. I had the right of way, but the other driver had a lorry. It was a very bad accident. Bang! Crash! So I went to hospital in an ambulance. But the doctor in the hospital didn't know anything about medicine. No, he told me that he became a doctor because he had bad handwriting. He became a doctor because he had bad handwriting! Then, on Wednesday, the surgeon operated on me. I knew I was in trouble as soon as I saw the surgeon. You see, he was wearing a mask. He was wearing a mask so that when things went wrong, no one would know who he was. No one would know who he was if things went wrong. And things did go wrong. I was in terrible pain after the operation. It was terrible pain. I couldn't sleep for days. Then I finally got to sleep ... and the nurse woke me up. She woke me up to give me some sleeping pills. She woke me up to give me some sleeping pills! Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen! And now, some juggling! Song time Bad, bad, bad, bad luck Bad, bad, bad, bad luck. Bad, bad, bad, bad luck. Bad, bad, bad, bad luck. It's bad, bad, bad, bad luck. If you go to a party, where old friends meet, And there are thirteen at the table sitting down to eat, Be quick, little baby, and leave your seat, Or bad things will happen before dinner's complete, 'Cos it's bad, bad, bad, bad luck. Bad, bad, bad, bad luck. Bad, bad, bad, bad luck. It's bad, bad, bad, bad luck. If you're walking in the town past a long, high wall, And you see a ladder leaning against that wall, Be quick, little baby, listen to me call, You'd better walk around it or that wall is gonna fall, 'Cos it's bad, bad, bad, bad luck. Bad, bad, bad, bad luck. Bad, bad, bad, bad luck. It's bad, bad, bad, bad luck. Bad, bad, bad, bad luck. Bad, bad, bad, bad luck. Bad, bad, bad, bad luck. It's bad, bad, bad, bad luck. Superstition. Street interviews Marcella I am superstitious, but not very much. I believe that you shouldn't walk under ladders. Lin I'm not superstitious about anything. Frank Yes, I am superstitious. When I play sport, I

always wear this. Melissa I'm into superstitions, and whenever I see a magpie, I have to ask my friend to slap my hand to take away the bad luck. Sara No, I'm not at all superstitious. David Well, if a black cat crosses your path, that can be very unlucky. If you find a horseshoe, that can be very lucky.

DOCUMENTARY
Witch (VO) The old and romantic city of Edinburgh is probably the most mysterious city in the United Kingdom. A magic atmosphere fills the streets of this city, full of legends and tales of ghosts, witches and haunted houses. Here, in St Cuthbert's, are the bodies of many people. Some legends say that the spirits of some of them still wander the streets and the houses of this city. I am the Green Lady. I have always lived in Edinburgh. That is why I know many of the extraordinary stories told in Edinburgh. Follow me. It will be a pleasure to guide you on a walk along mysterious Edinburgh. Don't be afraid. You don't believe in ghosts, do you? Witch (VO) We start at Edinburgh Castle. You can't understand Edinburgh without its castle. Here, at the Esplanade, a metal wellhead marks the place where witches were burnt in the Middle Ages. Many innocent women died here. Many ghost tales took place at the castle. There are also tales about the Palace of Holyroodhouse. One of them is the story of the murder of Queen

Mary's secretary. The Queen's husband, Lord Darnley, was jealous because the Queen and her secretary were friends. Lord Darnley killed him. Witch (VO) In Edinburgh, every close, every street, has a ghost tale for the visitor. For example, Charlotte Square. Many people say they have seen a woman dressed in nineteenth century clothes. Or a house in the Canongate, where they say, in a fire, the ghost of a woman with a baby in her arms appeared. This restaurant was a children's home. Some people hear the voices of the children who lived here many years ago. This is the Grassmarket, a street full of mystery. Here was the public market and criminals were executed here. These are some of the stories told in Edinburgh. You shouldn't believe everything. It may not be true. It may be the imagination and superstition of the people of Edinburgh... Who knows? But you don't believe in ghosts, do you?