Scribd Logo
Upload

Welcome to Scribd!

  • 1K views

    Nonviolent Communication - Four D's of Disconnection

    Uploaded by

    NonViolent Communication
    The document discusses the "Four Ds of Disconnection", which are behaviors that express unmet needs in a negative way. The four Ds are: 1. Diagnosis - Judging or labeling someone, such as saying "You are lazy". 2. Denial of responsibility - Denying choice or blaming others, like saying "I have to do what the boss says". 3. Demand - Exerting power over others through threats, for example saying "Get this done by 5pm or else!". 4. Deserve - Linking behavior to punishment or reward, such as "If you don't get this done, don't bother coming in tomorrow". The document

    Copyright:

    Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd

    Nonviolent Communication - Four D's of Disconnection

    Uploaded by

    NonViolent Communication
    1K views1 page
    The document discusses the "Four Ds of Disconnection", which are behaviors that express unmet needs in a negative way. The four Ds are: 1. Diagnosis - Judging or labeling someone, such as saying "You are lazy". 2. Denial of responsibility - Denying choice or blaming others, like saying "I have to do what the boss says". 3. Demand - Exerting power over others through threats, for example saying "Get this done by 5pm or else!". 4. Deserve - Linking behavior to punishment or reward, such as "If you don't get this done, don't bother coming in tomorrow". The document

    Original Description:

    Nonviolent Communication - Four D's of Disconnection

    Copyright

    © Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)

    Available Formats

    PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd

    Did you find this document useful?

    Is this content inappropriate?

    The document discusses the "Four Ds of Disconnection", which are behaviors that express unmet needs in a negative way. The four Ds are: 1. Diagnosis - Judging or labeling someone, such as saying "You are lazy". 2. Denial of responsibility - Denying choice or blaming others, like saying "I have to do what the boss says". 3. Demand - Exerting power over others through threats, for example saying "Get this done by 5pm or else!". 4. Deserve - Linking behavior to punishment or reward, such as "If you don't get this done, don't bother coming in tomorrow". The document

    Copyright:

    Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    1K views1 page

    Nonviolent Communication - Four D's of Disconnection

    Uploaded by

    NonViolent Communication
    The document discusses the "Four Ds of Disconnection", which are behaviors that express unmet needs in a negative way. The four Ds are: 1. Diagnosis - Judging or labeling someone, such as saying "You are lazy". 2. Denial of responsibility - Denying choice or blaming others, like saying "I have to do what the boss says". 3. Demand - Exerting power over others through threats, for example saying "Get this done by 5pm or else!". 4. Deserve - Linking behavior to punishment or reward, such as "If you don't get this done, don't bother coming in tomorrow". The document

    Copyright:

    Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    of 1

    The Four Ds of Disconnection

    Inspired by the work of Marshall Rosenberg and Lucy Leu


    Each of the 4 Ds is a tragic expression of an unmet need.
    Category

    DIAGNOSIS
    Who is what?

    Meaning
    Behavior/Example

    Form


    Judging, labeling
    "You are lazy and only care about
    criticizing

    yourself!


    You are ____________.

    DENIAL OF
    Denial of choice
    RESPONSIBILITY blaming
    Who is to blame?

    "I have to do what the boss says!"

    You have to _________.

    DEMAND
    Who has power?

    "Get that proposal out by 5 pm!


    (or else you will be suspended)

    Do _______ or else!

    Implies threat
    of punishment

    DESERVE
    Links behavior
    Who deserves what? with punishment
    and/or reward

    "If you don't get that project done,


    don't bother coming in tomorrow!" If _________, then _______.

    Exercise:
    1. Write down at least one example of each of the 4 Ds of Disconnection that you have heard recently.
    2. Write down how you feel right now in response to each example. Link your feeling to your need.
    3. Write down an empathic guess of what the person might have been feeling and needing when they said what you heard.
    Example:
    1. You are lazy and only care about yourself!
    2. I feel sad and frustrated because I have a need to be seen as a caring person.
    3. Are you feeling frustrated because you value cooperation?
    2008 peaceworks jim and jori manske radicalcompassion.com

    You might also like