Lavender Issue 371

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LavenderMagazine.com
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August 14–27, 2009
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Contents | [ Minnesota's Gay-Lesbian-Bisexual-Transgender Magazine ]
16 46 58
Photo by Hubert Bonnet Photo by Hubert Bonnet Photo by Carla Waldemar

Papa’s Pizza and Pasta Vic’s Pittsburgh
COMMUNITY DIALOGUE Use Your Black “Bar” Tab To Find

12 A Word in Edgewise BAR SCENE
Being True to Oneself—Guilt-Free 32 Twin Cities Bar Guide/Map
GAYBORHOOD 13 Passing
Find Your Way to Hot Spots
OF THE YEAR Scott Kyle

14 Queer as Folks
32 Regional Bar Guide
Out-of-Town Change of Pace
THINK
NORTH
Ms. Behavior Wins Jane Chambers Award
• St. Paul Creates Domestic Partner
Registry
36 Bartender Spotlight
19 Bar: Casey
38 Minnesota AIDS Project Hosts
Twin Cities BAR AIDS
MINNEAPOLIS COVER FEATURE Event Parallels Dining Out for Life
16 Gayborhood of the Year 40 Lush Food Bar
North Minneapolis Debuts in Northeast Minneapolis
NEWS & POLITICS 42 Leather Life
IML Says Bye Bye Barebacking
24 Big Gay News
National and World News 43 Bar Calendar
Plan Your Bar Outings
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
26 On the Townsend CUISINE
Disordered (Thy Name Is Teenager) • Rag 46 Off the Eaten Path
Nouveau: Turath Wa Jadid • The Syringa Vic’s
Tree • When We Are Married • Whatever 50 Word of Mouth
Works Muddy Paws Cheesecake
28 The Page Boy 52 Dining Guide
Blue Jesus • The Greeks & Greek Love: A Food for Every Mood
Radical Reappearance of Homosexuality
in Ancient Greece • Harry Wild Jones:
August 14–27, 2009
American Architect • Holman Hunt and

the Pre-Raphaelite Vision
30 Male/Male Romance Fiction
Jamie Nabozny (left) and Bo Shaefer. Photo by Hubert Bonnet Flourishes
Transgressions • False Colors
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Contents | [ Minnesota's Gay-Lesbian-Bisexual-Transgender Magazine ]
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The Syringa Tree Muddy Paws Cheesecake
IMOGEN HEAP LEDISI
Ellipse Turn Me Loose
CDs CDs
SPORTS & LEISURE

54 Lavender Lens
Tangletown Garden and Art Tour
56 Lavender Lens Fitness
Red Ribbon Ride Together
58 Get Outta Town package
QUEEN LATIFAH
Pittsburgh Persona
CDs
BACKTALK
62 Out in the Stars WandaWisdom.com
Horoscope America’s ORIGINAL Podcasting
Drag Queen
64 Lift Every Voice and...BE!
Black Pride Fund-raiser The dog days of
summer are here
66 The Network and your favorite
Business Services Directory podcasting drag
66 Business Profile queen is hotter
than ever! Click
Center for Courageous Living on over to http://
68 Brief wandawisdom.
Ordway Renovates Main Hall Stage com all month
long for a chance Photo Courtesy of Brian Roby
69 LavenderMagazine.com Calendar to win fabulous
Plan Your Fortnight prizes, hear celebrity interviews and oodles of
yummy audio goodness!
71 Lavender Lens
Lavender First Thursday
ISSUE 371 72 Community Connection BigGayNews.com
GLBT-Friendly Nonprofits Your daily podcast of GLBT world
August 14, 2009 news with host Bradley Traynor
Gayborhood of the Year 74 Classifieds
Find Some Classy Stuff Top Headlines
Gay-Friendly Online High School First
75 Cartoon of its Kind
Next Up Trolín US Census to Report Same-Sex
ISSUE 372 Marriage Data
August 28, 2009 76 Ms. Behavior Gay Israelis Rally After Shooting
Desperate Woman Wisconsin’s Domestic Partner
Pets Registry Opens
Duluth-Superior Pride 81 Yellow Pages Advertiser Index
Protests as Australia Affirms Gay
On the Runway What’s Where This Issue Marriage Ban
August 14–27, 2009
82 Consider the Source

It’s All Green to Me Get Your News in 12 Languages!
Big Gay News now offers TWELVE foreign
language newswires! You can get international
GLBT news from hundreds of sources in twelve
different languages. There is absolutely no other
site offering this much relevant content. Visit
http://biggaynews.com today!
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Volume 15, Issue 371 • August 14–27, 2009
Editorial
Managing Editor Ethan Boatner 612-436-4670
Associate Editor Russell Remmick 612-436-4671
Copy Editor George Holdgrafer 612-436-4672
Podmaster Bradley Traynor 612-436-4669
Contributors Kolina Cicero, Meryl Cohn, Carla Continenza,
Julie Dafydd, Chad Eldred, Heidi Fellner, Lawrence Ferber,
Terrance Griep, Ed Huyck, Steve Lenius, John Michael Lerma,
Charlene Lichtenstein, Jennifer Parello, Sara Rogers, Darin
Schwinkendorf, Vince Sgambati, Carisa Sibbet, Elizabeth
Stiras, John Townsend, Carla Waldemar
Advertising
Sales & Advertising Director Barry Leavitt 612-436-4690
Senior Account Executive Suzanne Farrell 612-436-4699
Account Executives Jonathan Halverson 612-436-4696,
Michael Ladzun 612-436-4697
Sales & Advertising Traffic Coordinator
Linda Raines 612-436-4694
Advertising Associate George Holdgrafer 612-436-4672
Sales & Advertising Intern Chris Wood 612-436-4695
Classifieds Suzanne Farrell 612-436-4699
National Sales Representative Rivendell Media
212-242-6863
Creative
Creative Director Hubert Bonnet 612-436-4678
Creative Assistants Carisa Sibbet 612-436-4677,
Mike Hnida 612-436-4679
Photographer Sophia Hantzes
Cartoonist Rodro
Lavender Studios Hubert Bonnet, Mike Hnida
Administration
Publisher Lavender Media, Inc.
President & CEO Stephen Rocheford 612-436-4665
Vice President & CC Pierre Tardif 612-436-4666
Chief Financial Officer Carolyn Lima 612-436-4664
Administrative Assistant Austin Lindstrom 612-436-4661
Founders George Holdgrafer, Stephen Rocheford
Inspiration Steven W. Anderson (1954-1994), Timothy J. Lee
(1968-2002), Russell Berg (1957-2005), Kathryn Rocheford
(1914-2006)
Letters are subject to editing for grammar, punctuation, space,

and libel. They should be no more than 300 words. Letters must
include name, address, and phone number. Unsigned letters will
not be published. Priority will be given to letters that refer to
material previously published in Lavender Magazine. Submit let-
ters to Lavender Magazine, Letters to the Editor, 3715 Chicago
Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55407; or e-mail <editor@lav-
endermagazine.com>.
Lavender Media Inc.

3715 Chicago Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55407
LavenderYellowPages.com
612-436-4660 phone
877-515-9969 toll free
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612-436-4671 distribution
To advertise, call 612-436-4698
August 14–27, 2009
LavenderMagazine.com BigGayNews.com WandaWisdom.com
Entire contents copyright 2009. All rights reserved. Publication of the name or
photograph of any person, organization, or business in this magazine does not
reflect upon one’s sexual orientation whatsoever. Lavender® Magazine reserves
the right to refuse any advertising. This issue of Lavender Magazine is available
free of charge during the time period published on the cover. Pickup at one of our
distribution sites is limited to one copy per person.
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Community Dialogue > A Word in Edgewise [ by E.B. Boatner ]
Being True to Oneself—Guilt-Free

J ust this past week, at the
group’s annual meeting
in Toronto, the American
some 150,000 members, making it the largest
association of psychologists worldwide.
Wayne Besen, Founding Executive Di-
easily manipulated by therapists who induce
guilt by saying, ‘It is fine if you choose to
exercise your options in a selfish manner by
Psychological Association rector of Truth Wins Out (TWO), a non- choosing your sexuality over Scripture.’”
(APA) released a 138-page profit organization that debunks antigay Besen stated in no uncertain terms that
report concluding that cant, applauded the APA report, but urged “such diabolical therapists may be within the
scant evidence exists for the caution. Specifically, he pointed out that new guidelines (barely) by ostensibly offering
effectiveness of so-called therapists still can bring coercive measures a troubled client the ‘choice’ and ‘freedom’ to
“ex-gay” reparative programs aimed at to bear on conflicted patients. be a ‘bad’ person. But, we all know this is just
changing an individual’s sexual orientation “Religious therapists…can manipulate a tricky form of psychological abuse. While
from gay or lesbian to straight. The report the framing of priorities,” Besen explained. the APA guidelines are helpful, the group may
further asserts that such programs may be “For example, they may ask clients what need to address in the future how unsavory
harmful to the client. they find more important to their value sys- counselors use loopholes to continue tor-
Judith M. Glassgold, chairperson of the tem: ‘ephemeral hedonism’ or ‘eternal life menting the fragile minds of clients.”
task force that presented the report, stated, in heaven.’ Given this loaded option, clients It is welcome news that one professional
“Contrary to claims of sexual orientation may feel they have no ‘choice’ but to live a medical organization has stepped forward
change advocates and practitioners, there life of hell on earth in order to get the keys to defend formally the rights of patients to
is insufficient evidence to support the use to the Kingdom when they die.” explore their sexuality unfettered by shame
of psychological interventions to change Besen’s remarks are of import to any in- or guilt. But, as in any other area of life,
sexual orientation.” dividual seeking professional help concern- one must be on the alert for hidden agendas
The Washington, DC-based APA, a sci- ing his or her sexuality, particularly those among the healers.
entific and professional organization that rep- from strict religious backgrounds. When seeking help, keep Besen’s caveats
resents psychology in the United States, has “Clients,” Besen continued, “can also be clearly in mind.
August 14–27, 2009
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Passing |
[ Scott R. Kyle ]
1961-2009
Photo Courtesy of cpcsm.org
S
cott R. Kyle, 48, passed away unex-
pectedly on July 27 at his apartment
in Minneapolis. He was born June
25, 1961, in New Richmond, Wisconsin.
Kyle was well-known for his ath-
letic achievement. He spent the past 25
years playing competitive softball in the
Twin Cities Goodtime Softball League
(TCGSL), as well as in leagues and nation-
al tournaments sanctioned by the North
American Gay Amateur Athletic Alliance
(NAGAAA). Among his greatest softball
accomplishments, he was a key player on
the A-level team that represented the Twin
Cities and took first place at the 1987 and
1988 NAGAAA World Series. He was a
member of the same team that also took
second place at the 1992 World Series,
and third place three other years.
At the 2009 World Series, which takes
place August 31-September 5 in Milwau-
kee, Wisconsin, Kyle’s stellar softball
career will be honored when he will be
inducted posthumously into the NAGAA
Hall of Fame.
A local memorial service for Kyle is
being planned for early October.
13
Queer As Folks |
Ms. Behavior Wins Jane Chambers Award

Nationally syndicated author and lesbian advice columnist Meryl Cohn, AKA Ms. Behavior—whose
>
popular column appears in Lavender—has won the Jane Chambers Award. She captured it for her play
The Siegels of Montauk, which focuses on three adult Jewish sisters who—together with their mother—
close out the family’s Montauk beach house in the wake of their father’s death. The play, one of 140
entries, won after three rounds of adjudication by 16 feminist scholars and artists. Presented since
1984, the Jane Chambers Award, which is celebrating its 25th anniversary this year, is given by the
Women and Theatre Program of the Association of Theatre in Higher Education. The award is named
in memory of famous lesbian playwright Jane Chambers, author of My Blue Heaven, Last Summer at
Bluefish Cove, and Kudzu.
Photo by Jennifer Shannon
St. Paul Creates Domestic Partner Registry

On July 22 at Camp Bar, St. Paul Mayor Chris Coleman signed an ordinance creating a city domestic
>
partner registry. Hours earlier, the St. Paul City Council had passed a resolution to recognize same-sex
partnerships by a 6-0 vote. It made St. Paul the third city in Minnesota to do so, behind Minneapolis
in 1991 and Duluth this past May. During the public hearing on the measure, no one spoke against it.
Coleman said, “Equality is equality is equality—you can’t have equality for some, and not for others.”
Though the St. Paul ordinance is a step in the right direction, many gay-rights supporters still noted
that state law prohibits governments from extending health-care benefits to unwed couples, including
same-sex couples.
Photo by Sophia Hantzes (From left) Council Member Dave Thune, Mayor Chris Coleman, OutFront
Minnesota Executive Director Amy Johnson, Council Member Lee Helgen.
August 14–27, 2009
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August 14–27, 2009
Papa’s Pizza and Pasta. Photo by Hubert Bonnet
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> Cover Feature

OF THE
GAYBORHOOD
YEAR
north minneapolis
[ by Elisabeth Stiras ]
T
he revitalization of North Minneapolis, once a neck of the woods considered
sketchy and possibly dangerous, has made it a community on the rise, with fresh
neighbors and new locally owned businesses.
Behind the wider impact are the grassroots efforts of Joel Breeggemann and
Michael Pristash. When the couple moved to North Minneapolis seven years ago this Sep-
tember, affordability was the key consideration.
17

... [Gayborhood of the Year]
Breeggemann recalls, “Back ated the NOMI (short for North

then, the housing market was Minneapolis) Home Tour and
nothing like it is today.” the Get to NOMI campaign.
It wasn’t a buyer’s market, Their motivation? Finding a
and the couple wanted to get a good neighbor, and improving
good deal on their first house. the overall quality of life in their
Pristash adds, “We wanted neighborhood.
to get the most house for our Breeggemann states, “We’ll
money.” never be Uptown, and that’s
Prestige, on the other hand, OK. That’s preferable. What’s
would take time. Breeggemann so great is that [North Min-
admits that at first, he wasn’t neapolis] is so welcoming to
proud to say he lived in North GLBT community. It has a
Minneapolis. The reality of the very small-town feel.”
neighborhood seven years ago Along with the home tour
reinforced negative perceptions came the increasingly visible
that dampened the local real block club, which made its pres-
estate market. Disruptions com- ence known to slumlords and ho-
mon to an urban area were prev- meowners alike. Bad tenants are
alent in North Minneapolis. held accountable, and welcome
Pristash remembers, “The baskets greet new neighbors.
livability issues were tracked Pristash notes, “We have a
back to rental properties with very healthy relationship with
slumlords.” neighborhood groups and law
North Minneapolis’s growing enforcement. They’re just as
reputation as a GLBT-friendly invested as we are in improving
sector—or“gayborhood”—of quality of life.”
the Twin Cities started when Of Breeggemann’s efforts,
Breeggemann and Pristash cre- his partner says, “He has been
North Minneapolis’s growing reputation as a Holiday on 44th celebration, now in its 12th year, is held the first Friday of December.
GLBT-friendly sector—or“gayborhood”—of Photo Courtesy of Duane A. Atter Jr.
the Twin Cities started when Breeggemann

and Pristash created the NOMI (short for North particularly adept at getting to and make North Minneapolis a
Minneapolis) Home Tour and the Get to NOMI know those who own proper- safer place to live.
campaign. Their motivation? Finding a good ties in the area. He sends a let- The NOMI Home Tour
ter from the block club, then
neighbor, and improving the overall quality of follows up, and makes it clear
life in their neighborhood. that if there are disturbances,
all eyes are on them.”
Crime statistics indicate
a steady decline over the last
three years, with sharper de-
clines in violent crime. Active,
tight-knit block clubs and orga-
nizations like PEACE (Public
Engagement and Community
Empowerment) Foundation,
founded in 2003 by Minneapo-
lis City Council Member Don
Samuels, a Northsider, and
PEACE Executive Director
Michelle Martin, all are work-
ing to improve quality of life,
Papa’s Pizza and Paste. Photos by Hubert Bonnet

19
has led to the sale of at least 10

houses, one of which was pur-

chased by Breeggemann and
Pristash’s new neighbor Sarah
Davis. Her home was featured
on Lavender’s cover last year.
Davis shares, “I wanted to
live in North Minneapolis be-
cause I’m always up for a chal-
lenge and a change. It is a better
neighborhood than where I was
last living. I did a lot of check-
ing on crime statistics, and was
quite comfortable with the area
that my house was in.”
With a lower price point that
couldn’t be met by the market in
Northeast Minneapolis, Davis,
like Breeggemann and Pristash,
was drawn to the buyer’s mar-
ket in North Minneapolis. Her
house’s amenities, including
new plumbing, updated elec-
trical, new windows, new roof,
and refinished hardwood floors,
were as much a bonus as the al-
luring sense of community.
Davis relates, “Up here,
there is so much variability and
character that it reminds me
very much of the small town I Steamworks Coffee. Photo by Hubert Bonnet
am originally from.”
On one of her daily runs, Da-
vis can take a scenic route along
With a lower price point that couldn’t be met by the market in
the Mississippi River, or follow Northeast Minneapolis, Davis, like Breeggemann and Pristash, was
a trail leading to the Grand drawn to the buyer’s market in North Minneapolis. Her house’s
amenities, including new plumbing, updated electrical, new windows,
new roof, and refinished hardwood floors, were as much a bonus as
the alluring sense of community.
Rounds. She also enjoys spend- of Steamworks in 2008. “From day one, we’ve felt wel-
ing time at local restaurants. Christina Jenkins enthuses, come in this community, both
Pristash points out, “There “The GLBT community that we in a business sense and on an
are absolutely flourishing busi- have been able to meet and serve interpersonal level.”
nesses along this strip,” refer- has been incredible. They have The NOMI brand—the very
ring to 44th Avenue, starting at proven to be a nice, loyal commu- term itself, as well as the logo—
Osseo Road. nity who recognizes and appreci- are the creation of Desiree
Papa’s Pizza and Pasta serves ates hard work, entrepreneurship, Fernandez, who had developed
Italian-American dishes, hoa- and a damn good cup of coffee.” the concept independently.
gies, Philly cheesesteak sand- Steamworks hosts GLBT- A number of neighborhood
August 14–27, 2009
wiches, and owner Mick (Papa) and NOMI-themed events. groups had passed on it before
Brogan’s signature tomato pie. The owners play on the NOMI Breeggemann and Pristash met
Jeff and Christina Jenkins own Kickball Team, founded by her at a Pride several years ago.
Steamworks Coffee. The couple Breeggemann and Pristash, The brand, first used to pro-
moved to North Minneapolis in which is largely GLBT. mote the home tour, has taken
Steamworks Coffee. Photo by Hubert Bonnet 2006, and took over ownership Christina Jenkins recounts, on a broader meaning.
20
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Pristash explains, “It connotes
an area that’s up and coming.”
While the foreclosure cri-
sis has left a trail of victims in
its wake, it also has made pos-
sible a bump in first-time home
ownership.
Pristash comments, “We
thought foreclosure would be
a bad thing [for the neighbor-
hood]. We thought it might be
the death of North Minneapo-
lis. But it provided an opportu-
nity for young upstart profes-
sionals, young families, and the
GLBT community in particular
to come in here and find homes
at an affordable rate.”
Home ownership has gone
up, and rental properties have
been able to attract more in-
vested neighbors. Heritage Day, held the last Saturday of
September at North Mississippi Regional
Warren-An Artist Habitat event. Photo Courtesy of Duane A. Atter Jr. According to Pristash, Park. Photo Courtesy of Duane A. Atter Jr.
August 14–27, 2009
22

“Even if they’re just buying a sense of community. There are
rental, they’re buying into the so many people doing so much
neighborhood.” to improve NOMI, and it feels
Jamie Nabozny and his great to be a part of it. We feel
partner, Bo Shaefer, found their this is not just a place to live, but
home after taking the NOMI it’s the place we call home.”
Home Tour. Breeggemann and Pristash
Nabozny remarks, “We have stepped back from the
were excited by the sense of home tour to devote their en-
community and positive energy ergies to further develop the
that was coming out of North NOMI brand.
Minneapolis, so we decided Breeggemann boasts, “It’s
to attend the tours to find out exploded more than we ever
what all the buzz was about.” anticipated it to.”
The information provided In seven years, the attitude
on the tour, as well as the in- of North Minneapolis has re-
teraction Nabozny and Shaefer versed course, and shows no
had with their future neighbors, signs of looking back.
were pivotal in their decision to As Breeggemann puts it,
buy their new home. “I’ve noticed a true pride in
Nabozny observes, “This is people who live here. We love Workhouse Theatre Company that works out of
the first neighborhood in Min- where we live. We’re proud of Warren-An Artist Habitat. Night Mother, starring
Miriam Monasch and Muriel Bonertz, directed by
Farmers Market. Photo Courtesy of Duane A. Atter Jr. neapolis where we feel a real where we live.” Richard Jackson. Photo Courtesy of Duane A. Atter Jr.
23
Big Gay News >
[ Written & Compiled by Bradley Traynor ]
NATIONAL NEWS
WISCONSIN DOMESTIC
PARTNER REGISTRY
TAKES EFFECT
Same-sex couples in Wisconsin now

can sign up for the state’s new domestic
partnership registry. It provides 40-some
legal protections to same-sex couples.
Some critics say the law doesn’t mean
much in the way of equality, while others
criticize it as unconstitutional, because the
state passed a constitutional ban on gay
marriage. Wisconsin is the first Midwest-
ern state to provide statewide protections
for same-sex couples through legislation.
OBAMA TO AWARD MEDAL OF

FREEDOM TO GLBT PIONEERS
President Barack Obama is awarding
the Presidential Medal of Freedom to 16
people, including a posthumous award to
slain gay politician Harvey Milk and an
award to lesbian sports pioneer Billie Jean
King. Milk became the first openly gay
elected official in a major US city upon his
election to the San Francisco Board of Su-
pervisors in 1977. He encouraged GLBT
people to live their lives openly. Milk,
along with San Francisco Mayor George
Moscone, was shot and killed in 1978 by
Dan White, a former city supervisor. King
is the 1960s and 1970s tennis legend who
became one of America’s first openly gay
August 14–27, 2009
major sports figures when she revealed

her sexual orientation in 1981.
CENSUS TO REPORT SAME-

SEX MARRIAGE DATA
According to new guidelines, the US
24
Census Bureau will release publicly gay
marriage data reported in next year’s census.
The decision follows a legal opinion from
the Commerce Department that argued
the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act does not
prohibit the Census Bureau from publicly
releasing the data. This is contrary to the
opinion of the Bush Administration.
WORLD NEWS
ISRAEL’S GAY COMMUNITY

RALLIES AFTER SHOOTING
Following the recent shooting ram-
page at a center for gay and lesbian youth
in Tel Aviv that left two dead and at least
eleven injured, hundreds of Israelis joined
a rally organized by the country’s gay
community. Organizers called the attack
the worst hate crime in Israel’s history.
According to eyewitnesses, the attacker,
wearing a mask, opened fire indiscrimi-
nately inside the center. Prime Minister
Benjamin Netanyahu vowed to bring the
killer to justice. Opposition leader Tzipi
Livni, who attended the rally, said the at-
tack should strengthen young people who
wanted to come out of the closet.
BURUNDIAN HOMOSEXUALS
SUFFER UNDER NEW
ANTIGAY LAW
According to Human Rights Watch,
gay men in Burundi have suffered in-
creased discrimination and fear following
a law passed in April criminalizing homo-
sexuality. International organizations and
foreign governments criticized Burundi
after it passed the law. Boris Dittrich, head
of homosexual rights advocacy at Human
Rights Watch, which actively worked
against the law’s passage, says that his
group has not given up its efforts to have
the criminalization repealed.
AMSTERDAM MAYOR
MARRIES AMERICAN GAY
COUPLES ON CANAL
Amsterdam Mayor Job Cohen married
five American-Dutch gay couples, accord-
ing to Reuters. He performed the cer-
emony on a cruise around the city’s canal
during Amsterdam’s Gay Pride Festival.
He made additional history eight years
ago when he presided over the first legal
gay marriage in Holland. Ira Siff, an opera
professional from New York who married
his partner, opera singer Hans Heijnis,

said, “For me, it’s a message to New York,
the most liberal state, the most hip state,
to get with it.”
25
Arts & Entertainment > On the Townsend [ by John Townsend ]
DISORDERED (THY NAME IS TEENAGER) / AUG.

23 / FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH, 499 WACOUTA ST.,
ST. PAUL / (612) 481-2234 / <WWW.BLANKSLA-
TETHEATRE.ORG>
Don’t stereotype this teen-created col-

laboration’s First Baptist venue as reason to
dismiss it. That would be a mistake. This
work addresses the limiting and dehumaniz-
ing aspects that come from labeling person-
ality and behavior in terms of such things as
depression, anxiety, and body-image disor-
ders, not to mention queer identity.
Director Adam Arnold, who wrote his
master’s thesis on queer youth, stresses that
the show’s queer monologues and discus-
sions are included “not because identifying
as lesbian or gay is indicative of having a
‘disorder’—although many in the mental
health field still tragically feel this way—
but rather to expose some of the pain queer
youth may be feeling. Queer youth are try-
ing to balance transitioning from childhood
to adulthood, AKA adolescence, with man-
aging a stigmatized sexual identity, AKA
queer. The coupling of these two entities
leads to staggeringly high rates of depres-
sion, suicide, substance abuse, bullying, and The Syringa Tree. Photo by Michal Daniel
homelessness in queer youth compared to
those who identify as straight.” This marks Jawaahir’s 20th anniversary, derness, and wit, through multiple characters
and its 15th season at the Southern. In a played beautifully by Agnew.
RAG NOUVEAU: TURATH WA JADID / THROUGH time when images of Middle Eastern cul-
AUG. 23 / THE SOUTHERN THEATER, 1420 WASH-
INGTON AVE. S., MPLS. / (612) 340-1725 / <WWW. tures have proliferated so negatively, here’s WHEN WE ARE MARRIED / THROUGH AUG. 30 /
SOUTHERNTHEATER.ORG> an op to see a different side of the coin. GUTHRIE THEATER, 818 S. 2ND ST., MPLS. / (612)
377-2224 / <WWW.GUTHRIETHEATER.ORG>
The title means “dance new” in Arabic THE SYRINGA TREE / THROUGH AUG. 30 / LAVEN-
and French. The subtitle means “heritage DER OUT AND ABOUT NIGHT: AUG. 13 / JUNGLE
and new.” THEATER, 2951 LYNDALE AVE. S., MPLS. / (612)
822-7063 / <WWW.JUNGLETHEATER.COM>
Cassandra Shore, Artistic Director of
the beloved Jawaahir Dance Company, ex- The past year has beamed in some truly
plains that it is presenting women’s dances great films about childhood and innocence,
in this show because the company is com- with Slumdog Millionaire, The Secret Life of
posed of all women. The dancers will per- Bees, and The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.
form women characters, as well as personi- Onstage locally, we’ve seen the wrench-
fications of abstract ideas. ing Iqbal at Children’s Theatre, as well as
Shore shares, “In Arabic-speaking coun- various theatrical youth programming that
tries where this dance originated, there is seems to be tapping into a similar vein in
a fairly clear delineation between dances today’s global consciousness.
by gender in public. Men perform men’s Add to that the Jungle’s reprise of last
styles, and so on. However, in private, men year’s smash The Syringa Tree, by Pamela
often perform women’s dance, and vice ver- Gien. Sarah Agnew’s masterful solo perfor-
August 14–27, 2009
sa. Usually, this is done in the spirit of great mance is launched through the eyes of a child When We Are Married. Photo by T. Charles Erickson
humor and satire toward the opposite sex.” during Apartheid in South Africa—Apartheid
Lauded Lebanese violinist Georges is the term for systematized racial division. J.B. Priestley’s bright 1938 comedy,
Lammam and his acclaimed ensemble ac- This box office hit, for all its hard political When We Are Married, may not appear to be
company, with lighting by ever-evocative content, has a magical way of appealing to a as socially conscious a play as his best-known
Jeff Bartlett. mainstream audience with vulnerability, ten- work, An Inspector Calls. But in John Miller
26
Stephany’s always historically savvy direc-
torial hands, we are placed in full presence
of the rigid class structure and strict mari-
tal protocols of the 1908 Northern English
setting of When We Are Married. It’s an
often-staged popular classic in the UK.
Three couples of wide-ranging degrees
of stuffiness suddenly must grapple with
the likelihood that they actually were not
married by a legitimate man of the cloth.
Hence, they tailspin into identity crisis,
social-register panic, and primal doubt
about whether they really love the one they
wedded a quarter century earlier. Sure, it’s
hilarious, but it’s quite reflective, too.
Barbara Bryne and Maggie Chestovich
delight with rowdy wit as two servants
who show two couples up to be the pomp-
ous phonies they are (echoes of An Inspec-
tor Calls). Icons from past Guthrie decades
also shine: Helen Carey, Patricia Connol-
ly, Peter Micahel Goetz, Sally Wingert—
and, of course, Bryne.
WHATEVER WORKS
AREA CINEMAS
Whatever Works. Photo taken by Jessica Miglio, © Gravier Productions, Inc.,

Courtesy of Sony Pictures Classics.
Get real! Woody Allen wrote the

screenplay decades ago—as if novelists,
composers, etc., never return to past drafts
of their work years later. So what! Allen
made his glorious comeback four years
ago with Match Point, then wowed us with
his lovely 2008 meditation on female sexu-
ality and bisexuality, Vicky Cristina Barcelo-
na. But here, he’s a house on fire like never
before—and that includes his earlier harsh
masterpiece dramas, Interiors and Crimes
and Misdemeanors. Though Whatever
Works isn’t drama, it’s acid comedy at its
most ruthless, with the hard-ass political
commentary—absolutely relevant today—
for which many of his fans have yearned
for years. It’s also a penultimate tale of
middle-aged sexual awakening, with Os-

car nod-worthy Larry David and Patricia
Clarkson. Whatever Works has Allen’s best-
ever gay male subplot, with Ed Begley Jr.
and Christopher Evan Welch.
27
Arts & Entertainment > The Page Boy [ by E.B. Boatner ]
Blue Jesus The Greeks & Greek Love: Harry Wild Jones: Holman Hunt and the
TOM EDWARDS A Radical Reappearance American Architect Pre-Raphaelite Vision
ACADEMY CHICAGO PUBLISHERS of Homosexuality in ELIZABETH A. VANDAM CATHERINE LOCHNAN
$16.95 Ancient Greece NODIN PRESS & CAROL JACOBI, ED.
JAMES DAVIDSON $39 ART GALLERY OF ONTARIO
PHOENIX $55
$27.99
A neat mix of the obvious— This sprawling, diffuse, and This beautifully crafted book This volume, which accompa-
people who are “different” fascinating volume seeks to is a double pleasure to read. nies the current exhibition at
often are treated badly; the reset the thinking of the past Local author Vandam not only the Minneapolis Institute of
facts—there are blue people couple of millennia on the presents architect Harry Wild Arts (MIA), Sin and Salvation:
(ethemoglobinemia); and a subject of the phrase “Greek Jones (1859-1935) as a vibrant, William Holman Hunt and the
predictably odd rural Southern love” (comprising mostly male talented, personable human Pre-Raphaelite Vision, is a valu-
community in the 1960s. After homosexuality). At one end of being, but also shows us how able work of art history in its
his mother’s death, 11-year- the spectrum is the Victorian much of his existing work can own right. The images and the
old (gay) Buddy Dean moves intellectualization and sanitiza- be seen here today. Educated 10 essays offer a rare glimpse
to Comfort Corners in North tion of the mechanics of such in the East, Wild and his wife into the life and work of Hunt
Georgia to live with his grand- activity, while at the other moved to Minneapolis, building (1827-1910) and his Pre-
mother. He becomes friends end, Davidson gives us Sir their residence, Elmwood, in the Raphaelite brothers, including
with Early Finch, a boy from a Kenneth Dover (born 1920), Washburn Park area, now Tan- John Everett Millais and Dante
local blue-skinned, “blue trash” who sees Greek love as more gletown. Prolific and protean, Gabriel Rossetti, whose work
family. The two find a dead purely the performance of Jones designed homes, com- also is represented. Hunt was
baby discarded in the town physical acts. Davidson points mercial buildings, and churches influenced heavily by his read-
dump. By laying his hands on, out that Greece was a widely throughout the continental ing, and many of his paintings
Early brings it back to life, be- scattered collection of city United States, Hawaii, even Bur- were drawn from literature:
coming, with Buddy, the focus states, separated geographi- ma. Perhaps the jewel in Jones’s The Lady of Shallot (Tennyson);
of the townsfolk’s cauldron of cally, socially, politically, and architectural crown remains the Claudio and Isabella (Shake-
emotions. As the very enter- so forth, producing a wide Lakewood Cemetery Chapel in speare’s Measure for Measure).
tainingly told story builds to variety of approaches to sexual South Minneapolis. Vandam’s Hunt added his own interpreta-
its climax—Early, apotheosized conduct and etiquette. He descriptions—“Surrounding tions to the original narratives,
from town pariah to Blue Jesus, does not write in standard, dry the chapel’s sixty-five foot dome and rendered his subjects in
a highly marketable com- academish, which is a selling are twenty-four Art Nouveau exquisite detail, using light and
modity for his ne’er-do-well, point for the lay reader, but he Style stained-glass windows shadow, key objects, placement
abusive father—the subtext of does have a tendency to a bit serving as a sundial of masterful of figures (right=good/left=bad)
friendship and loyalty becomes jokey, and to expatiate on top- proportions.”—spur one to visit. to convey his intent. This book
stronger and more poignant. ics that are not at the fingertips This volume, which has a list is a rich read and a splendid
August 14–27, 2009
Early finally agrees to be the of the nonacademic. However, with addresses of all Jones’s edi- holiday gift. The exhibit, which
centerpiece of a revival, but Davidson does, on the whole, fices, is profusely illustrated with offers more than 60 works,
only under the condition that argue his points persuasively. A photographs and drawings. Van- runs through September 16 at
white, blue, and black alike are thought-provoking and chal- dam is the author of The Doors of the MIA. Visit <www.artsmia.
welcome to attend. lenging read. Tangletown: A Historical Reflection org>.
of Washburn Park (2002).
28
29
Arts & Entertainment > Books [ by Carisa Sibbet ]
ERASTES ALEX BEECROFT

RUNNING PRESS RUNNING PRESS
$12.95 $12.95
MALE/MALE ROMANCE NOVELS FLOURISH

TRANSGRESSIONS AND FALSE COLORS
ARE RECENT EXAMPLES
M
ale/Male (M/M) romance follow his punishable love? perhaps because of what is trendy, new, and
novels are not all that strange The question remains: Why do straight fresh to young straight women.
a niche, particularly to the women write and read M/M romance novels? Are these straight writers trying to even
GLBT reader. But when you One reason could be that if one man is the score?
have a straight woman writing them, and sexy, two men just make it even sexier. You Maybe they want to get the message across
the books are geared toward other straight have heard that many men enjoy the idea of that all love is the same, whether it is male/fe-
women, you reach a whole new dimension. two women being together. Well, surpris- male (M/F), female/female (F/F), or M/M.
Live Journal, an online journaling com- ingly—or perhaps unsurprisingly—a large Women were put into a box for so long
munity, currently has more than 300 com- number of women enjoy the thought of two throughout history. Now, they have the same
munities for M/M romance. Works of this men together. opportunities as men, and they are voicing
type written by straight women are a grow- Another reason is that M/M relationships their opinions. They can write what they
ing market. do not have the same gender stereotypes as want, and for whom they want, and it doesn’t
In April 2009, Running Press published straight relationships. There can be much have to hew to the prevailing social norm.
two books in this genre: Transgressions, by more to these characters, and they don’t Thus, many people might argue, “Why
Erastes, and False Colors, by Alex Beecroft. need to fit into typical female and male roles. not?” Being a straight, married woman is a
Both have all the aspects that fans of such The story really can go anywhere, with no life many of these writers and readers cur-
fiction will love—prohibited love, mysteri- social or expected boundaries—enticing to rently live. Been there, done that. To write
ous locations, and sexy leading men. both the writer and the reader. or read about something completely for-
Transgressions, set in the Civil War era, M/M fiction is edgy. It’s new. It’s hip. eign to one’s own experience is an escape,
tells a tale of a father who brings home a young Is it? and let’s face it: Isn’t that why most people
man to help his son work the family forge. The You be the judge. read fiction in the first place?
August 14–27, 2009
son’s reaction to this new, handsome stranger The success of the movie Brokeback Moun- One question remains: Will gay men
is not one his father would approve. tain and the show Brothers and Sisters could start writing about M/F relationships? Will
In False Colors, set in the 1700s, a lieu- fit into this category. M/M relationships are straight men start writing about F/F rela-
tenant of the British Royal Navy falls hope- becoming more acceptable to the younger tionships?
lessly in love with his new captain. Will he generation, and even some older generations, Anything is possible.
30
31
Bar Advertiser Guide > Twin Cities
08
12
E
N
e.
l Av
a
ntr
Ce
05
11 02
06 03
09
01
13
07 10
26th Ave. S.
04
01 19 BAR GLADIUS 10 RUMOURS

19 W. 15th St., Mpls. (612) 871-5553 06
1111 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. 213 E. 4th St., St. Paul, (651) 225-GLBT
Shoot pool or play darts at your neighbor- Opening soon. The New York Chic of Min-
hood bar—the Twin Cities’s oldest GLBT <www.rumours-stpaul.com>
neapolis. Newest, hottest dance club with fabulous
establishment.
DJs, plus shows featuring the best local
BOLT talent.
07 INNUENDO
513 Washington Ave. S., Mpls. 213 E. 4th St., St. Paul,
02 11
(612) 338-0896 (651) 225-GLBT SALOON
<www.boltbar.com> <www.rumours-stpaul.com> 830 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.
Best video bar in Twin Cities. Huge selec- Casual, intimate “Cheers” ambience for (612) 332-0835
tion of music/comedy video clips & Show quiet conversation, Happy Hour, and com- <www.gaympls.com>
Tune Sundays. Best patio in town. munity organization shows and fund-raisers. Long regarded as Minneapolis’s cutting-edge
dance club, with friendly staff and discern-
BOLT UNDERGROUND ing customers.
03 501 Washington Ave. S., Mpls. 08 LUSH FOOD BAR
(612) 338-0896 990 Central Ave NE, Mpls. 12 TICKLES
<www.boltbar.com/underground> <www.lushfoodbar.com> 1032 3rd Ave NE., Mpls.
Industrial & carnal nightclub hidden Video Bar, Eclectic Live Entertainment, (612) 354-3846
beneath the city. Join us for CHAMBER Mixing Artists. Eat. Drink. Be LUSHious. <www.ticklesbar.com>
every Thursday night. Live Piano Music, Full Service Menu,
Happy Hour, Sports on 4 Flat Panel TVs,
04 CAMP MINNEAPOLIS EAGLE Pool, Darts
490 N. Robert St., St. Paul 09 515 Washington Ave. S., Mpls.
(651) 292-1844 (612) 338-4214 13 TOWN HOUSE
<www.camp-bar.net> <www.minneapoliseagle.com> 1415 University Ave. W., St. Paul
An upscale but casual spot with great video, Gay-owned & -operated for 10 years. (651) 646-7087
dancing, cabaret, and the friendliest staff in Home of famous Friday 3-for-1 Happy <www.townhousebar.com>
town! Hour & Sunday afternoon Beer Bust. Fun neighborhood bar with a great mix of
men and women. Visit our piano lounge.
05 GAY 90’S
408 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.
(612) 333-7755
<www.gay90s.com>
Upper Midwest’s Largest Gay Entertainment
Complex. Six bars: Main Bar, Happy Hour,
Dance Annex, Men’s Room, La Femme, Retro.
> Regional
IA The Blazing Saddle, Des Moines WI Scooter’s, Eau Claire David, Sioux Falls
SD
416 E. 5th St., (515) 246-1299 411 Galloway St., (715) 835-9959 214 W. 10th St., (605) 274-0700
Buddy’s Corral, Des Moines My Place, La Crosse
418 E. 5th St., (515) 244-7140 3201 S. Ave., (608) 788-9073
The Garden, Des Moines Players, La Crosse
112 SE 4th, (515) 243-3965 218 Main St., (608) 784-2353
August 14–27, 2009
Kings & Queens Tap, Waterloo Chances R, La Crosse

304 W. 4th St., (319) 232-3001 417 Jay St., (608) 782-5101
Rio Video/Patio Bar, Des Moines The Flame, Superior
1500 SE 1st., (515) 288-0382 1612 Tower Ave., (715) 395-0101
J.T.’s, Superior
1506 N. 3rd St., (715) 394-2580
The Main Club, Superior
1217 Tower Ave., (715) 392-1756
32
33
Enjoy THE NEW HAPPY HOUR BAR!
• Stone Work
• Cherrywood Paneling
• Rustic Copper High Ceiling
• Custom-Designed Carpeting
• State-of-the Art LED Lighting
• Video/Satellite and Sound System
• 10 Large HD Display Screens
• Cushioned Swivel Bar Stools
OPEN THE LONGEST

HOURS OF ANY TWIN
CITIES GLBT BAR
MON.-SAT. • 8 AM-2 AM
SUN. • 10 AM-2 AM
408 HENNEPIN AVE., MPLS.

Photo by Hubert Bonnet
August 14–27, 2009
34
35
Bar Scene > Bartender Spotlight [ by George Holdgrafer ]
WHO
Casey
WHAT
Recipe: A Cappella
4 parts Stoli Vodka on the
rocks
WHEN
CASEY Thu.-Sat. • 9 PM-2 AM
WHERE
19 Bar
19 W. 15th St., Mpls.
(612) 871-5553
WHY
“Indie meets mainstream.
Bear meets twink. Ely meets
NYC. ‘No message could’ve
been any clearer—if you
wanna make the world a
better place, take a look
at yourself, and make a
change.’—MJ”
August 14–27, 2009
36
37
Bar Scene | [ by Chad Eldred ]
Minnesota AIDS Project

Hosts Twin Cities BAR AIDS
Event Parallels Dining Out for Life
B
ottoms up! hot summer day/night.”
Whether you enjoy a drink According to Knapp, MAP plans to start
(alcoholic or not) or two, or small this year to prove the BAR AIDS
simply seek an evening out model works in the Twin Cities, with the
on the town socializing, the eventual hope of expanding the event in
Minnesota AIDS Project (MAP)’s newly years to come.
launched fund-raising campaign in the Knapp explains, “In future years, we
Twin Cities has something for everyone. hope to grow the event to be a significant
On August 27, MAP is hosting Twin six-figure type of fund-raiser. We were very
Cities BAR AIDS. About 25 bars, as well as excited that almost every venue we con-
other drinking and eating establishments, tacted was extremely eager to participate.
will be donating a portion of their sales that We had a strong showing of support from
day to benefit MAP. both gay and straight bars throughout the
Participating establishments include 19 community.”
Bar, Bali, Bulldog NE, Camp, Dakota Jazz That strong response is surely a good
Club, Eli’s, Gay 90’s, Joe’s Garage, Living sign for the more than 6,200 people who
Room Lounge, Minneapolis Eagle/Bolt, are HIV-positive currently living in Min-
Rumours/Innuendo, Saloon, Solera, Town nesota, along with the estimated 2,500
House, and Ugly Mug. United States. Cities such as Las Vegas, residents who are HIV-positive but do not
The event is similar to the Twin Cities Providence, Reno, and San Francisco al- know it yet.
Dining Out for Life event held each year in ready have signed on. Minneapolis and St. Knapp remarks, “We will be raising
late April, only this time around, bubbling Paul now have joined that list. BAR AIDS funds to help the Minnesota AIDS Project
beverages will be the main draw for dona- traditionally has been conducted on the in its mission to stop HIV in Minnesota
tion dollars. fourth Thursday in August, as it will be in through advocacy, prevention education,
Nondrinkers need not worry, for a va- the Twin Cities, too. and basic services.”
riety of coffee and juice bar venues have Ambassadors from MAP will be sta- To ensure as much safety as possible,
come on board to support the fund-raising tioned at every venue, handing out stick- MAP has contacted a few sober cab busi-
effort, so guests will have a slew of dining ers and HIV/AIDS information. They will nesses to participate. Town Taxi Services
and drinking options. provide referrals to testing centers, and and Dry Drivers will be on hand to take
MAP Special Events Manager David will be available to answer questions about participants home—even in their own car.
Knapp says, “BAR AIDS involves bars and HIV/AIDS. They also will be selling raffle Now, you really have no excuse not to
alcohol-free venues throughout Minne- tickets for prizes. spend an evening out with friends, and help
apolis and St. Paul. Its purpose is to create Knapp notes, “BAR AIDS is an excellent a good cause while doing so.
an atmosphere where people can socialize model for an HIV fund-raiser, because it is
August 14–27, 2009
for a good cause, and increase awareness a win-win [situation] for everyone. Twin
about HIV. The event is a community-uni- Cities residents learn which bars are most
fying opportunity that everyone can enjoy, interested in giving back to the community BAR AIDS
whether they prefer lagers or lattes.” in which they live, and the customers get AUG. 27
VARIOUS VENUES
BAR AIDS got its start in Chicago in to do what they would probably want to do <WWW.TWINCITIESBARAIDS.COM>
2003, and since has expanded across the anyway, which is socialize with friends on a
38
39
Bar Scene | [ by George Holdgrafer ]
Lush
Debuts in Northeast
Minneapolis
L
ush Food Bar, the newest Twin lot of people who would rather not fight the Patrons will find plenty of fun activities
Cities GLBT club, debuted crowds and traffic of Downtown Minneap- to keep them coming back to Lush.
July 31 in Northeast Minneap- olis. Lush gives them a nice alternative.” Hoffman relates, “We plan to offer a
olis. It’s across the street from The owners of Lush aim to attract a variety of types of entertainment, including
Tickles, which opened last No- diverse clientele, as Hoffman shares: “We live music, and some drag shows eventually.
vember. Lush is the brainchild of owners love the Abby in West Hollywood, and had We also will have mixing artists spinning at
Ty Hoffman and Kelly Phillips, who are life it in mind. They bring in a great mix of gays various times in the week. We plan to offer
partners as well. and lesbians, with a nice mix straight folks an eclectic array of entertainment.”
Hoffman says, “We wanted to create on the side. We are very straight-friendly.” Food is a major component of Lush, so
an open, fun environment. The old Healy Lush’s ambience certainly lives up to the hungry patrons will enjoy the creations of
Spring Company building, with high ceil- bar’s name. Chef Karla Schmitt.
ings and bay garage door openings, provid- Hoffman notes, “The exterior is, frank- According to Hoffman, “We are starting
ed the opportunity to do the open feel with ly, a rather squat, ’70s-era brick building with a more limited menu. The kitchen is
the glass garage doors. We want ‘Lush’ to that originally housed a truck repair shop. small, but efficient. We have a number of
describe the experience—rich, sumptuous! But there was also a real beauty in the sim- different salads and appetizers, plus Angus
We want to get people out a little earlier, plicity of the building. The main room of burgers and a few other sandwiches. We
enjoy a few drinks and a bite to eat with the restaurant/bar is in the large, three-bay have a brunch menu on Saturday and Sun-
friends, and then see where the night goes room where the trucks were put on lifts for day from 10 AM to 2 PM, featuring various
from there.” repair. egg dishes, French toast, and sandwiches.
Lush and Tickles, along with nearby “The room, with 24-foot ceilings, is an- We also have a bottomless Champagne
Wilde Roast Café, definitely make North- chored by a large bar in the middle. Mod- Mimosa menu brunch both afternoons for
east a destination spot for the GLBT com- ern Italian chairs/tables circle the bar, and $20. It’s a great deal!”
munity. retro wood booths salvaged from a bowling Nonprofit fund-raising will be a major
Hoffman explains, “We really like being alley line the outer walls. It is has a mod- focus of Lush, and Hoffman states, “We are
a part of Northeast Minneapolis. We live a ern/industrial feel, but the trio of Chihu- very committed to both the GLBT com-
few blocks away, and are really committed ly-esque chandeliers over the bar lends a munity and the neighborhood. We will be
to the neighborhood—we wanted to invest softer, alluring element. The large, 20-foot hosting various fund-raising events for both
in it. We also think that, like us, there are a high glass garage door is usually open, giv- communities—that is really very important
ing the whole place an out- to us.”
door feel.” What does the future hold in store for
Speaking of outdoor, Lush?
Hoffman adds, “The exte- Hoffman puts it this way, “As is the case
rior is coming together. We with all new independent venues, this is
have a small, covered patio a work-in-progress. We will be continu-
area right off of the main ally fine-tuning the interior elements. The
room. We plan to expand menu will expand, and we’ll get to the live
that with a larger, more performances very soon. Right now, we’re
elaborate patio, with more happy to be open, but we definitely have
plants, trees, flowers, and many more things to add. Oh, and the pa-
August 14–27, 2009
seating. We plan to make tio—it’s going to be fabulous!”

that a very rich, plush area.
We will also continue to
plant all around the build- LUSH
990 CENTRAL AVE. NE, MPLS.
ing.” <WWW.LUSHFOODBAR.COM>
Lush owners Ty Hoffman (left) and Kelly Phillips. Photos by Sophia Hantzes.
40
Bar Scene > Lavender Lens [ Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]
OPENING NIGHT
JULY 31
LUSH
41
Bar Scene > Leather Life [ by Steve Lenius ]
IML Says Bye Bye Barebacking

I
n his speech at this year’s International Mr. This announcement has set off a firestorm Role models matter here. Showing hot
Leather (IML) Contest and show, Execu- of discussion. men having hot sex while using condoms sends
tive Producer Chuck Renslow pointed to Is this censorship? (No.) Will it drive bare- one kind of message: Condoms are a part of
the rise in new AIDS infections—in the Unit- backing underground, thereby making it more hot, healthy sex. Showing hot men having sex
ed States alone, someone becomes infected attractive because it’s forbidden? (I hope not.) without condoms sends another, more dan-
with HIV every nine-and-a-half minutes. He Who is Renslow, anyway, to make this kind of gerous message: Condoms aren’t necessary—
decried the increasing popularity of bareback- pronouncement? (Continue reading.) or worse, sex is hotter without protection.
ing, unprotected anal sex that long has been Renslow is a community leader who is I, like many other people, have been say-
known to be a primary method of spreading saying what needs to be said. Barebacking is ing for years that barebacking, except for
HIV infection. dangerous. It’s like riding a motorcycle (or seroconcordant, monogamous couples, is
It was an effective and affecting speech, a bicycle) without a helmet, or driving a car unsafe, insane, and a slow kind of suicide.
but along with the applause came some puz- without seatbelts. You may be OK for a while, Yet barebacking has continued. Maybe, when
zlement—because this year’s IML leather but then, something happens without warn- someone of Renslow’s stature takes this kind
market, as in years past, was full of vendors ing that’s serious and possibly lethal, because of stand, more people will listen, and the
promoting porn that showcased and glorified proper protective measures weren’t used. message finally will get through to many of
barebacking. The situation with barebacking is the same them.
Renslow and the IML organization now as with smoking, obesity, drug abuse, and This is exactly what community
have done the right thing, followed through, other public-health problems. People must be leaders ought to be doing. I applaud
and—quite literally—put their money where encouraged to make good choices that are ul- Renslow and IML for having the courage and the
their mouth is. In a letter to vendors, IML re- timately life-affirming and life-enhancing, as willingness to take such a public stand, even
cently announced that the promoting of bare- opposed to bad choices that might feel good when it seriously and negatively could impact
back porn will not be allowed at future IML or exciting in the short run, but ultimately de- the IML organization’s finances. This is what
leather markets. stroy and degrade life. leadership looks like, folks.
August 14–27, 2009
42
Bar Scene > Bar Calendar
For club addresses, phone numbers, and Web

sites, see “Twin Cities Lavender Bar Advertiser
Guide” and “Regional Bar Guide” on page 32.
For other events, see <LavenderMagazine.
com/calendar>.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 14
Minneapolis Movie Bears
Bar Night
7 PM. Rumours.
Total DiscTraction
9 PM. Town House.
SATURDAY, AUGUST 15
Golf Tourney
Saloon
Booby Trap
Bolt Underground
SUNDAY, AUGUST 16
Singles Pool Tournament
4 PM. 19 Bar.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19
Foam Underwear Party:
DJ Red Richard
9 PM. Annex. Gay 90’s.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 20
Project Runway Season
Opener Kickoff Party
7 PM. Rumours.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 21
Dragged Out
Benefit To Help Jol D. Principal Attend

Mr. Continental Pageant
9PM. Town House.
43
... [Bar Calendar]
FRIDAY, AUGUST 21 CONTINUED

Hips ’N Lips Kings & Queens Show
9 PM. Rumours.
SATURDAY, AUGUST 22
North Country Bears
Bear Bar Night
8 PM. Bolt Underground.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 28
Lure: Ultimate Lesbian Party
9 PM. Rumours.
SATURDAY, AUGUST 29
MisMatch-ed Game
Benefits MarryMeMinnesota.org
Lake Calhoun Boys Party & Fund-raiser
9 PM. Rumours.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 30
A Tribute to Gary Hinze
Triangle of Hope Benefit for Clare Housing
5 PM. Town House.
ONGOING
MONDAYS
Game Night
9 PM. Innuendo.
Karaoke with Dana
9 PM. Town House.
Men’s Night: Male Dancers
9:30 PM. Town House.
Karaoke with Killer B’s
10 PM. Gay 90’s.
Hard Monday
Saloon
TUESDAYS
Mega Bingo
Benefits MS Society
6:30 PM. Gay 90’s.
Team Trivia
7:30 PM. Innuendo.
Karaoke with Killer B’s
9 PM. Saloon.
Karaoke with John
9 PM. Town House.
Diamond Diva Drag Show
10 PM. Gay 90’s.
Fiesta Latina
10 PM. Saloon.
WEDNESDAYS
Bango with Mother Pearl
Benefits The Aliveness Project
5:30 PM. Saloon.
August 14–27, 2009
Debbie Duncan
8 PM. Camp.
Encounter: Male Dancers
9 PM. Innuendo.
Drag Show
9:30 PM. La Femme Show Lounge. Gay 90’s.
44
... [Bar Calendar]
Karaoke
10 PM. Bolt.
Hump Night: Male Dancers
Saloon
THURSDAYS
Trivia with Carl
Saloon
Mega Bingo
Benefits MS Society
6:30 PM. Gay 90’s.
Progressive Bingo
Benefits The Aliveness Project
8 PM. Bolt.
Chamber
The Girls (1st Thu.) or Lori Dokken &
Guest
9 PM. Town House.
Drag Show
Pumps and Pearls Drag Revue
10 PM. Town House.
Karaoke with John
9 PM. Innuendo.
Boys Night Out
Saloon
FRIDAYS
Gary Collins
5 PM. Tickles.
Erin Schwab
6 PM. Camp.
Red Carpet
with Candi Stratton
Male Dancers
10 PM. Gay 90’s.
Mineshaft
Bolt Underground
Wet! Male Dancers
Saloon
SATURDAYS
Open Mic Cabaret with Jeff Olson
8 PM. Tickles.
Drag Show
Male Dancers
10 PM. Innuendo/Rumours.
Male Dancers
10 PM. Gay 90’s.
SUNDAYS
Showtunes
5 PM. Bolt.
Karaoke with John & Trover
7 PM. Lounge. Town House.
Mia Dorr
8 PM. Camp.
Karaoke with Jamie & Jeremy
9 PM. Innuendo.
Pumps and Pearls Drag Revue
9 PM. Town House.
Drag Show

Amateur Shower Contest
11 PM. Saloon.
Check out our online “Bar Advertiser Guide” Web links at
<www.LavenderMagazine.com>.
45
August 14–27, 2009
46
Cuisine > Off the Eaten Path
VIC'S
[ by Heidi Fellner ]
erhaps it is the destination of all modern cities to forget aspects of their sidewalk traffic is scant. Even the dolled-up carriage
horse looks like she’s itching for a customer.
heritage—a necessary sacrifice on the road to modernization. If this is
I, too, had neglected St. Anthony Main, and I can’t
so, then the Twin Cities may have had to turn away from its lovely riv- for the life of me explain why. Its contemplative cobble-
er—and the bustling industry it generated—so that both metropolitan stones and river breezes are such a welcome respite.
centers could come into their own. However, when you look out onto Vic’s patio is the perfect way to enjoy it all, with
that majestic Mississippi, its slow and steady waters winding their way from these its rustic wood and Prussian blue rails, along with the
P
northern lights down to the Big Easy, you feel a tremendous sense of nostalgia. compelling smells emanating from the kitchen. But
if that’s not enough to entice the Downtown throng,
perfectly. Vic’s has decided to take things a step further: Bottled
It is a feeling that I have yet to put into words, as “I think people have forgotten about this area,” she wine now is sold at cost. I blink when I am told this,
I sit on Vic’s lovely patio on St. Anthony Main, which says with a sigh, as she opens a bottle of Santa Mar- as the hefty markup on wine keeps most restaurants in
offers one of the best river views in town. Our server gherita Pinot Grigio ($16.97). the black. But after eating at Vic’s, I know that this is a
follows my gaze outward, and articulates my thoughts It’s not as if Vic’s lacks a healthy patronage, but the brilliant move. The wine will bring you to its patio,
and the food will remind you to return.
Lump Crab Cakes. Photos by Hubert Bonnet
47
My dining partner and I sim- ous platter of oysters, breaded
ply can’t resist Executive Chef conch, Cajun grilled shrimp, cal-
Doug Pittman’s recommendation amari, sea bass, salmon, and two
of the Flatbread Blue appetizer snow crab claws, with a choice of
($11). Its crisp crust is spread potato and fresh sautéed vegeta-
with fresh basil and toasted pine bles. Overall, the specials at Vic’s
nut pesto, rotisserie chicken, are absolutely fantastic, and this
Roma tomatoes and Amish blue platter is no exception.
cheese. I expected the cheese to The 16-ounce T-bone ($28),
stick out, but it was a very happy however, is newer on the regular
marriage, and one of the stand- entrée list, and it may need a bit
out tastes of the evening. of time to perfect. Its mushroom
Next, the Calamari, which and red wine sauce is absolutely
are lightly breaded, and sautéed delectable, but by the time it
with marinated peppers ($11). arrived at our table, the meat,
The peppers give the dish a wel- ordered medium rare, was more
coming and uncommonly bright medium well. Whether that was
flavor. I don’t quite understand because of a miscommunication,
my own love affair with calamari, or the science of cooking the
but love is not a rational act. I’ve thinner-cut T-bone so precisely
eaten calamari almost every way and then running it out to the
one can have it, and I think I patio, I don’t know, but I do have
have a new favorite. Only a few faith that Pittman will make the
forkfuls were left when it came necessary adjustment.
time to clear plates, but we in- Our server surprised us with
sisted on taking it home anyway. one last taste of loveliness: the
If you are a foodie, and boxing Key Lime Meringue. Another
calamari sounds like a clear sign bit of business-minded bril-
of derangement, have some at liance is the size options on Vic’s
Vic’s, and then come join me in dessert list. For just $1, you can
my padded cell. get a few spoonfuls of key lime
We sucked down a few oys- decadence served atop a graham,
ters ($2.50 each). My dining walnut, and pecan crumble;
partner and I are members of or for $6, have a dessert large
the horseradish oyster cult, but enough to split.
it was very interesting to taste After our sweet little amuse
the difference in flavor between bouche, as I was sitting there,
the James River and Blue Point looking out on this forgotten
oysters, as these are served au view, I had one final thought. I
naturel. can’t place our cities’ progress
Pittman also recommends on an abstract timeline. In the
the soup du jour ($5), which is grand scheme of things, I don’t
beer cheese, and the house salad know what developmental phase
($13). The soup is simply spec- we’re in, or where we’re headed.
tacular—buttery, dreamy, and But I do think it’s time that we
decadent, topped with popcorn rediscover our lovely river, and
and black pepper. The salad is I know of no nicer way to do so
an eclectic combination of fruits, than right here at Vic’s.
cheeses and greens, all tied to-
August 14–27, 2009
gether with a mango-pineapple

vinaigrette that makes a perfect
harmony of the lot. VIC'S
We sampled the seafood plat- 201 MAIN ST. SE, MPLS.
ter special ($34.75)—a gener- (612) 312-2000
(Clockwise from upper left) House Salad; Patio; Key Lime Meringue; Hand-Breaded Pan-Fried Wall-
eye with Skillet Shore Potatoes. <WWW.VICSDINING.COM>
48
49
Cuisine > Word of Mouth
Muddy
Paws
Cheesecake
[ by John Michael Lerma ]
I
first met Tami Cabrera, owner of Mud-
dy Paws Cheesecake, in November
2005. We both were setting up our dis-
play tables at the Calhoun Coffee Fes-
tival. My first cookbook had just been
released. I had baked several items from my
new book to display, including my Chocolate
Truffle Cheesecake.
Once we had completed setup, my partner,
Chad, and I walked around to see the other
vendors. That’s when I encountered Cabrera.
She had a cornucopia of cheesecakes covering
a beautiful tablecloth, with antique cake plates
holding some of the most exquisite and unique
creations I ever had beheld. She was extremely
busy, but immediately smiled, introduced her-
self, and asked if we wanted to try some sam-
ples. We have been friends ever since.
When I recently visited Cabrera’s new
location in St. Louis Park, she told me that
she has been spending a good deal of her time
focusing on weddings, unions, and anniver-
saries. With Iowa having legalized same-sex
marriage, Minnesota shouldn’t be too far be-
hind. Now, Chad, I know a place for unbeliev-
able GLBT wedding cheesecakes!
When I arrived for our chat, Cabrera and
her assistant, Amy, had just baked a ton of Tami Cabrera. Photo by Hubert Bonnet
cheesecakes.
Cabrera told me, “Our ovens can bake up
as we always do—14 of our most indulgent ond shop eventually opened in Maple Grove.
to 28 cheesecakes at a time. Our bake days are
cheesecake flavors, including Blueberry Cran- Then, Cabrera and company decided to make
Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. The
berry Pistachio, Coconut Mango, Banana a large jump to a retail restaurant on Henne-
opposite days are cutting days. The cutting of
Split, Black Forest, and Crazy Carrot. And pin Avenue in Uptown Minneapolis.
our cheesecakes actually takes as long as the
with the cakes baking safely in the ovens, I Cabrera explains, “But due to the econom-
baking.”
went on to design one of my signature wed- ic climate, taking care of a special-needs child,
As we walked into the Bridal Consulting
ding cakes: a Three-Tier Raspberry Swirl and my sincere desire to focus on our wedding
room, I noticed a wall covered with accolades
Cheesecake with Lady Fingers, Ribbon, and business, we decided to close the Hennepin
that Cabrera and Muddy Paws Cheesecake
Fresh Raspberries.” location, and move to our current surround-
had received through the years. The one that
Cabrera began her cheesecake venture ings in St. Louis Park. Now, I can focus on
stood out was a visit from Al Roker of the To-
while working for an architecture firm back our wedding and GLBT union production,
day Show and the Food Network.
August 14–27, 2009
in 1994. It had 60 employees, and she would plus our online ordering trade. It was the right
As Cabrera recounts, “On November 18,
bring her homemade cheesecakes to the office move.”
2003, NBC weatherman Al Roker dispatched
for testing. The orders started pouring in, and Cabrera and I looked through the Muddy
his Food Network Roker on the Road film crew
she incorporated the business in 1999. Paws wedding books filled with photographs
to our St. Paul, Minnesota, kitchens. Upon
The first Muddy Paws Cheesecake was of the most extraordinary cheesecakes I ever
their arrival, I welcomed them, and spent the
on North Snelling Avenue in St. Paul. A sec- have seen.
next 10 hours creating from scratch—just
50
According to Cabrera, “All these cheese-
cakes are from scratch. They are Chicago/
New York-style, made with cream cheese,
eggs, vanilla, and cream. I haven’t given in to
mass production, or using fillers such as add-
ing flour to make them look bigger. There
are no additives either—pure cheesecake.”
We perused pictures of stacked cakes, rib-
bons around cake edges, cake toppers, cakes
with fresh flowers, square stacked cakes, spe-
cial bride and groom cakes separate from the
main wedding cake, mini or petite cakes on
multitiered stands, and cute bride and groom
designed strawberries.
Muddy Paws also offers cheesecake with
sauces, so guests can top their own. It pro-
vides 13 different sauces to enhance your
cheesecake experience.
Cabrera shares, “We also offer an anni-
versary discount—as long as you stayed mar-
ried! We give you an anniversary discount
on your cheesecake to celebrate that special
day.”
If you intend to serve cheesecake rather
than regular cake at your wedding or union,
Cabrera recommends contacting Muddy
Paws at least six months out to help you plan.
For made-to-order cheesecakes, let the shop
know at least 10 days out.
Cabrera remarks, “We’re the only cheese-
cake bakery that offers that service that let’s
you create your own flavor.”
You can order online, and have your
cheesecake delivered anywhere in the nation.
Muddy Paws also offers a delivery service
within the Twin Cities.
When I asked Cabrera what she would
like Lavender readers to know about Muddy
Paws, she replied, “We’re locally owned and
female-owned.”
So, for the best cheesecake experience of
your life, check out Muddy Paws. Stop in,
and pick a couple up from the list of 222 fla-
vors, check it out online, or call to plan your
special day.
As Cabrera puts it, “Life is short. Eat
cheesecake!”
MUDDY PAWS CHEESECAKE

7600 W. 27TH ST., STE. B2, ST. LOUIS PARK
(763) 545-7161
<WWW.MUDDYPAWSCHEESECAKE.COM>
John Michael Lerma is a local chef, author, Food Network

personality, and “lifestyle guru.” His company Garden County
Cooking offers cookbooks, cooking classes, consulting, private
events, and culinary vacations to Italy and the Caribbean. Visit
<www.GardenCountyCooking.com>. Check out his “Word of
Mouth” Blog under Extras at <LavenderMagazine.com>.
51
Dining Guide Listing |
AVERAGE PRICE OF A TYPICAL ENTREE
$ LESS THAN $15, $$ $15-$25, $$$ MORE THAN $25
Our Guide to the Metro Eateries Featured in This

Issue Lavender Magazine’s Dining Guide is your
resource to GLBT-friendly restaurants. We rec-
ommend calling restaurants before visiting to
confirm information.
ANDY’S GARAGE $
American
Classic American diner serving burgers, fresh-cut fries
and malts.
Lunch, Dinner
920 E. Lakes St., Minneapolis (612) 886-2602
Mon – Sat: 10 AM – 8 PM, Sun: 11 AM – 6 PM
BAD WAITRESS DINER & COFFEESHOP $

American Casual/Diner
A retro-themed diner, all-day food; coffee, free wi-fi.
All-day Breakfast & Lunch, Late-Night
2 E. 26th St., Minneapolis 55401 (612) 872-7575
Mon – Sat: 7 AM – Midnight • Sun: 7 AM – 11 PM
BOCA CHICA RESTAURANT $

Mexican
Family owned restaurant, made from scratch, lovely
murals on the wall; authentic.
Lunch, Dinner
11 Cesar Chavez St., St. Paul
Sun – Thurs: 11 AM – 10 PM • Fri – Sat: 11 AM – 11 PM
THE CALHOUN GRILL $

American
Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets,
pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches.
Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch
3220 W. Lake St., Minneapolis (612) 455-1250
Mon – Fri: 7 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 7 AM – 3 PM • Sun:
8 AM – 3 PM
DANCING GANESHA $$
Contemporary Indian
We would like you to come & enjoy our novel Indian
cuisines in an extraordinary ambiance.
Lunch, Dinner
1100 Harmon Pl., Minneapolis (612) 388-1877
Mon – Sat: 11 AM – 2 PM, 4 PM – 10:30 PM • Sun: 11
AM – 2 PM, 5 PM – 9 PM
FUJI YA JAPANESE RESTAURANT $$

Japanese & Sushi
Authentic Japanese food, finest sushi available, Up-
town Minneapolis, downtown St. Paul.
600 W. Lake St., Minneapolis (612) 871-4055
Mon: Closed • Tues – Thurs: 5 PM – 10 PM • Fri – Sat:
5 PM – 10:30 PM • Sun: 5 PM – 9 PM
465 N. Wabasha, St. Paul (651) 310-0111 • Mon – Fri:
Lunch 11:30 AM – 2 PM. Dinner 5 PM—10 PM • Sat:
Dinner 5 PM – 10 PM • Sun: Closed
THE GRANDVIEW GRILL $

American
1818 Grand Ave., St. Paul (651) 698-2346
Mon – Fri: 6:15 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 6:15 AM – 3 PM
• Sun: 8 AM – 3 PM
HELL’S KITCHEN $$
American
In the heart of downtown Minneapolis, appropriately
located in a beautiful underground space, you’ll dis-
cover Hell’s Kitchen, a chef-owned restaurant known
for its damn good food.
Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner
80 S. 9th St., Minneapolis (612) 332-4700 • 310 Lake St.
S., Duluth (218) 727-1620
Mpls: Mon – Fri 6:30 AM – 10 PM, Sat – Sun 7:30 AM
August 14–27, 2009
– 10 PM
Duluth: Sun – Thurs 8 AM – 9 PM, Fri – Sat 8 AM – 10
PM (closed Mondays except during summer)
KINDEE THAI $
Thai
This isn’t your traditional everyday Thai restaurant.
Lunch, Dinner
719 S. 2nd St., Minneapolis (612) 465-8303
52
Mon: Closed • Tues – Thurs: 11:30 AM – 9 PM • Fri:
11:30 AM – 10:30 PM • Sat: 11 AM – 10:30 PM • Sun:
11 AM – 9 PM
THE LOUISIANA CAFÉ $

American
Breakfast, Brunch,
613 Selby Ave., St. Paul (651) 221-9140
Mon – Fri: 6:30 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 6:30 AM – 3 PM
• Sun: 8 AM – 3 PM
MANNY’S TORTAS $
Mexican
Gourmet Mexican sandwiches and fabulous desserts.
Lunch, Dinner
1515 E. Lake (Mercado Central) (612) 728-5408
Daily: 8 AM – 8 PM
2700 E. Lake (Coliseum Building) (612) 728-1778
Mon – Thurs: 10 AM – 10 PM • Fri – Sat: 10 AM – 11
PM • Sun: 10 AM – 4 PM
920 E. Lake (Midtown Global Market) (612) 870-1820
Mon – Sat: 10 AM – 8 PM, Sun: 11 AM – 6 PM
NEW UPTOWN DINER $

American
2548 Hennepin Ave. S. Minneapolis (612) 874-0481
Mon – Wed: 6 AM – 3 PM • Thurs – Sat: 24 Hours
• Sun: Close at 6 PM
PARK TAVERN BOWLING & ENTERTAIN-

MENT CENTER $
American
50 years of dining & entertainment – award winning
food, groups up to 300.
Weekend Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Late Night Daily
3401 Louisiana Ave., St. Louis Park (952) 929-6810
Mon – Fri: 10:30 AM – 12:30 AM • Sat – Sun: 9 AM
– 12:30 AM
SEA CHANGE $$
Seafood
Under the masterful eye of chef Tim McKee, the core
menu focuses on sustainable seafood. Sea Change uses
only the freshest fish & shellfish from sustainable fisher-
ies & environmentally responsible farms.
Lunch, Dinner
Guthrie Theater, 818 S. 2nd St., Minneapolis (612) 225-6499
Lunch: Tues – Sun. 11:30 AM – 2 PM • Dinner: Mon –
Thurs: 5 – 10 PM, Fri – Sat: 5 – 11 PM, Sun 5 – 9 PM
SPYHOUSE COFFEE SHOP $

Coffee, espresso, pastries
2451 Nicollet Ave., Minneapolis (612) 871-3177
2404 Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis
Mon – Fri: 6:30 AM – Midnight • Sat – Sun: 8 AM
-- Midnight
SUSHI TANGO $$
Japanese
Exciting and eccentric mix of Japanese cuisine and
Uptown attitude.
Lunch, Dinner
Calhoun Square, (612) 822-7787
Mon – Wed: 5 PM – 1 AM • Thurs – Sun: Noon – 1
AM
TOAST WINE BAR AND CAFÉ $

Wine bar with Italian influence
Neighborhood wine bar serving pizzas, cured meats
and small plates.
Dinner
415 N. 1st St., Minneapolis, MN (612) 333-4305
Tues – Thurs: 5 PM – 11 PM • Fri – Sat: 5 PM – 12 AM
• Sun: 5 PM – 11 PM
WILDE ROAST CAFÉ $

American
Homemade, comfort food, outstanding desserts,
beer, wine, espresso drinks.
Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner
518 E. Hennepin Ave. Minneapolis (612) 331-4544
Mon – Sat: 7 AM – 11 PM • Sun: 7 AM – 9 PM
ZEN FUSION RESTAURANT $

Asian Contemporary
Authentic pan-Asian food with a contemporary French
twist.
Lunch, Dinner
3016 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis (612) 822-8896
Sun – Thurs: 11 AM – 9 PM • Fri – Sat: 11 AM – 10 PM
53
> Lavender Lens [ Photos by Hubert Bonnet ]
TANGLETOWN GARDEN AND ART TOUR

JULY 25
MINNEAPOLIS
August 14–27, 2009
54
55
Lavender Lens >
[Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]
RED RIBBON RIDE

JULY 16-19
August 14–27, 2009
56
57
Sports & Leisure > Get Outta Town
[ by Carla Waldemar ]
o, it’s Obama’s turn to host the
S
G20 in September. How to im-
press the heck out of a bunch
of genteel European heads of
state? New York? LA? Vegas?
Nah. You invite ’em to “American’s most
livable city”: Pittsburgh.
Pittsburgh—also voted a Top Pick for
Culture Junkies (New York); One of the
Top 5 Cities for Creative People (Kip-
linger); and among the World’s Top Ten
Cleanest/Greenest (Forbes).
Huh? The city whose coal-belching steel
mills caused cars to need their headlights at
high noon? Well, that was then—before the
Pittsburgh
’80s—and this is definitely now
▲
Obama chose Pittsburgh to demonstrate
that turnaround. Come for the skein of walk-
ing trails along the downtown’s juncture of
three rivers, spanned by 440 designer bridges.
Come for the abundance of pocket parks. But
especially, come for its diverse neighborhoods.
Mr. Rogers’s was just one of 89, each with its
own rich flavor.
And stay for the art: collected by steel mill
baron Andrew Carnegie, and now on display
in the splendid Carnegie Museum of Fine Arts
(plus the adjoining Museum of Natural His-
tory, boasting his film set-worthy collection of
dinosaur skeletons); Heinz Hall, home of the
Pittsburgh Symphony, among 57 varieties of
performers; the culture-nailing Pop Art in a
museum dedicated to another homeboy, Andy
Warhol, brimming with his androgynous por-
traits, and lifestyle; and the August Wilson
Center for African American Culture, debut-
ing in September to honor the works of the
Pulitzer-winning playwright who captured the
soul of his Hill District, where our own Pen-
umbra is invited to perform.
Maybe the place to start is just where
August 14–27, 2009
Pittsburgh began in 1765: Fort Pitt, built on

the strategic point of land where the Allegh-
eny and Monongahela Rivers joined the Ohio
(also the start of the great Lewis & Clark Ex-
Pamela's Famous Pancakes, which got her a White House

invitation. Photo by Carla Waldemar
58
59
Come for the skein of walking trails
along the downtown’s juncture
of three rivers, spanned by 440
designer bridges. Come for the
abundance of pocket parks. But
especially, come for its diverse
neighborhoods. Mr. Rogers’s was
just one of 89, each with its own
rich flavor.
pedition). It livens the “who knew?” story of

the uneasy shifting of power between Indian
nations, the French, the Brits, and, eventually,
the Colonists that continued to flare long after
General George Washington settled things in
the East.
The story unfolds further in the Heinz His-
tory Center that celebrates “How Pittsburgh
Changed the World,” as in headquarters for
Alcoa, Pittsburgh Glass, and Westinghouse;
the first union organized to wrest justice from
industry barons; and grocer Heinz himself,
with the savvy marketing campaigns that gave
the familiar ketchup label worldwide recogni-
tion. It celebrates the contributions of locals,
from Doctors Salk (polio vaccine) and Spock
(child rearing) to green guru Rachel Carson
and her nemesis, the inventor of the Big Mac.
Plus, Mr. Rogers in his rumpled cardigan.
Like few others, Pittsburgh remains a city of
neighborhoods that retain distinct identity,
and intrigue.
Downtown hosts the Cultural District
(indoor performances, outdoor public art).
Leaving downtown on the Hot Metal Bridge ABOVE Pittsburg Skyline. Photo Courtesy of VisitPittsburg
BELOW (from left) Southside neighborhood; Servers at Lidia's present unlimited helpings of pasta tableside. Photo by Carla Waldemar
(named for its transport, back in the day),
visit the Southside, once Polish red brick row
houses and steel factories, now the common East Liberty is in the lively throes of the the wholesale produce district. Still is. Today,
ground of blue hairs—Gen Y and the Great most recent turnaround, where gritty “not af- it’s also a stew of multiculti delis and dining
Generation, side by side. The Carnegie Li- ter dark” streets now host Whole Foods and ops, including Pamela’s, where Obama, in
brary, where seniors congregate, contrasts designer pizzerias. Lawrenceville offers boho scouting the town, was so enamored of her
with Rex, where hot bands blast. Tom’s Diner, boutiques and cafés, plus an annual Art All pancakes that he invited her to cook them at
where retirees anchor tables on the sidewalk, Night happening, while Shadyside, with up- the White House on Memorial Day. Stop in,
faces off against ubercool S-Bar across the scale shops, aligns both yups and boomers. and see why.
street. Gay boys are at home, and at ease, every- Don’t miss another Strip icon, Pramanti’s,
Bloomfield, Pittsburgh’s Little Italy, boasts where, but especially Lawrenceville, Shady- a diner where sub sandwiches—the special-
parking meters painted red, white, and green, side, and Squirrel Hill (where the GLBT ty—come built with fries and cole slaw heaped
with old-time cafés like Tessaro’s—best burger Community Center hosts OUTrageous Bingo inside the buns. Don’t ask for them on the side.
in Pittsburgh, our server declares—and they’re parties). In Pittsburgh, being out is oh-so-in. The answer is, “Nothing doing.”
Explore solo, or, better yet, sign on for the
August 14–27, 2009
served invitingly cool in the center “Pittsburgh Bars include the 941 Saloon, Images, Pegasus,
blue.” Squirrel Hill, a Jewish enclave, sports House of Tilden, and There, lining the 900 walking tour Burgh Bits & Bites to discover
chic shopping. Meanwhile, the working-class block of Liberty Avenue downtown; Law- food finds known only to the locals, includ-
North Side is home to the city’s new ballpark renceville’s Blue Moon or Cattivo; and Shady- ing Mancini’s Bakery, famous for its pepperoni
and casino (plus the beyond-avant Mattress side’s Spin Bartini Ultra Lounge. roll; Labad’s, launched by a Syrian family who
Factory, host to edgy installation art). The Strip, a mile-long stretch, was once know how to make hummus, all right; Parma
60
Sausage, to sample homemade salami and
prosciutto; and Penn Macaroni, the old-
est business down here, hosting a heavenly
cheese shop and deli. Interlaced are funky
wonders like Big Mama’s House of Soul—
Big Mama addresses her many barbecue fans
as “baby”—alongside fashionable Lidia’s, an
altarpiece of an Italian cucina, where unlim-
ited pasta is heaped tableside from sauté pans
by trios of smiling waiters.
Eleven, the city’s consummate hangout
for locovores, has food finds like a smoked
lamb taco with tomatillo, local goat cheese,
and refried lentils, followed by striped bass
paired with calamari, hot Italian sausage,
couscous, fennel, and sundried tomatoes.
SixPenn, back downtown, is a high-style
haven for cosmo creations, like shrimp with
popcorn grits and negro mole sauce; cracklin’
pork shank with sauerkraut-bacon mashed
potatoes and serrano applesauce; or black
cardamom lamb with curried fennel potato
cake and ginger purée.
Two more “only in Pittsburgh” food phe-
noms.
A Catholic church-turned-brewery ac-
commodatingly was christened Church Brew
Works, where saints in stained glass win-
dows stare down on an altar space filled with
gleaming tanks. From those spout the likes
of Pipe Organ Pale Ale, Celestial Gold, and
Pious Monk Dunkel, to mix and match with
the pierogi of the neighborhood’s Polish
roots, in traditional plumpings of potatoes
and cheese, or contra-trad, humming with
jerk chicken.
Oh, yeah: Don’t forget to visit Oh Yeah,
where ice cream is considered a breakfast
staple, topping waffles filled with your choice
of a hundred add-ins, ranging from mango,
habaneros, and Lucky Charms to bacon, can-
died ginger, and peanut butter—and those
are just the staid old numbers.
Here’s why Obama’s visitors will feel wel-
come: The city is not only clean and safe, but
also super-friendly. I only had to unfold my
map, and sidewalk traffic ground to a halt
with offers of assistance. I think they would

have carried me, too, had I asked.
See for yourself by contacting <www.Vis-
itPittsburgh.com>.
61
Out in the Stars |
[ by Charlene Lichtenstein ]
Horoscope for Aug. 14-27 Venus opposes Pluto,

and sends our hearts into orbit. Will you feel the grav-
itational pull back to earth by the end of the period?
Let’s hope so, lest you break off into space, and be-
come just another random, heat-seeking particle.
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 20)

No sooner do you snuggle on your couch than the
phone rings. Any attempt to cocoon results in a con-
tinuous stream of interruptions from the job. While you
are tempted to ignore the power elite, do so at your
own risk. It is better to be flexible, and do what you
need to do now. The push-me-pull-you soon will end,
and you can let all further requests go to voicemail.
TAURUS (APRIL 21-MAY 21)

The urge to express yourself will be almost overwhelm-
ing. But silence is golden—loose lips sink huge battle-
ships now. Hold tight to your emotions, and carefully
weigh your words before you anchor your opinion,
queer Bull. Speaking your true opinions from your
heart can land you on the front page with a very unflat-
tering photo. Hey, which end of the bull is that?
GEMINI (MAY 22-JUNE 21)

Can money buy happiness? It may seem that way this
period, but it is all illusion. Pink Twins with common
sense can reap a financial windfall if they can keep
their attention focused on the bottom line. Of course,
nothing is common about you! So, instead of letting
your attention wander, focus on stuffing your mattress
today, so you can rest easy tomorrow.
CANCER (JUNE 22-JULY 23)

August 14–27, 2009
Gay Crabs can be attentive and generous to partners.

Now, you demand a little lovey-doviness for yourself.
Maybe it all has to start with you. Do something good
for yourself that also will have a beneficial effect on the
overall relationship. If you still are searching for your
dreamboat, you can launch a delightful first impression
now. Hide your big missile for later.
62
LEO (JULY 24-AUGUST 23)
Proud Lions should expend greater-than-average en-
ergy into volunteering for a good community cause.
Build up the karma points, and spread the benefits on
all areas of your life. If you feel like a rat on an ever-
speeding treadmill at work, don’t despair. The god-
desses have a way of rewarding even the mangiest of
well-intentioned rats in a big beautiful way now.
VIRGO (AUGUST 24-SEPTEMBER 23)

If your idea of fun is seeing how many friends you can
pack into an already-packed schedule, you will enjoy
the period fully as it unfolds. Queer Virgins will not
know when enough is enough, and are unable to pri-
oritize. Quietly mull it over the next morning, as you
nurse your hangover, and try to figure out where you
left your nipple clamp.
LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24-OCTOBER 23)

Proud Libras are at the top of their corporate game
this period. But it may have its costs. Although your
advancements have a long-term beneficial effect at
home, they will bring certain chafing family issues to a
head. Obviously, problems can’t be solved overnight,
but it can’t hurt to expose them to the light of day.
Look at ’em scurry under the rug!
SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24-NOVEMBER 22)

Queer Scorps can benefit greatly from any interna-
tional travel, or anything unusual and foreign. Find
creative applications for all this new stimuli, and apply
it to how you do your job. It not only will streamline
processes, but also will make you feel more energized
and charged-up. Who knows? You even may welcome
working later…well, I said may.
SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 23-DECEMBER 22)

Gay Archers are not usually the most passionate of
folks, but now, you are able to turn up the hot tub to full
boil. Do I smell someone cooking? But this hot sexual
spike carries with it a cost-of-living increase. All that
wining and dining associated with the pursuit of raw
desire ultimately can cost more than it’s worth. Ah, but
in the meantime, what a way to go!
CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 23-JANUARY 20)

Partners have an uncanny way of goading you to take
dramatic action this period. Could your dissatisfaction
with certain relationships in fact be dissatisfaction with
how you feel you are perceived in general? You can
run, but you can’t hide, pink Cap. Sit in front of the mir-
ror, and ask who is truly the fairest of them all. Then, go
spike an apple, you wicked thing.
AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21-FEBRUARY 19)

It seems that the harder you work, the more you have
to do. Feisty Aqueerians are up to the task, especially
when it involves greater good for our community at the
end of the rainbow. You must no longer accept living
in a closet. Blow the closet door off its hinges. You’ll
find it liberating. Remember: You’re beautiful...except
when you wear hound’s-tooth polyester.
PISCES (FEBRUARY 20-MARCH 20)

Are you paying wholesale or retail for your jolly times?
It all depends upon how much affirmation you receive
from social outlets and friendships. This period indi-
cates that no price is too high to pay for true friend-
ship, but you can be cheated if the group of the hour
is not playing your tune. I say make your own beautiful
music, and see who comes to dance.
© 2009 THE STARRY EYE, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

For Entertainment Purposes Only. Lichtenstein’s blog
<www.thestarryeye.typepad.com> covers everything

New Age. Her astrology book HerScopes: A Guide to
Astrology for Lesbians is the best in tongue-in-cheek
astrology.
63
Sports & Leisure |
[ by John Townsend ]
Lift Every Voice

and…BE!
Black Pride
Fund-raiser
Showcases
Talent of Color
T
he Black Pride celebration is
coming up. Some of the most
luminous local GLBT talents
of color will showcase vari-
ous performance pieces in Lift Every Voice
and...BE!, a fund-raiser on August 15 that
will lay the groundwork for HIV/AIDS
consciousness-raising at Pillsbury House
Theatre in Minneapolis. Performers so
far include Khalid Adams, Andrea Jenkins,
Alphonso Morgan, and Sol. And the list
is growing.
Twin Cities Black Pride Chair Earnest
Simpkins, says, “Many of the local LGBT
artists who are in the lineup for the show
are community members that I not only
know personally, but whose life force has
inspired my own journey, as I continue to
strive to bridge the gaps between all my
identities as a black gay man raised in the
Twin Cities.”
If you don’t track the local African-
American performance scene, the Twin
Cities has one or the richest talent-of-
color pools in the nation.
Directing Lift Every Voice and…BE! is
Harry Waters Jr., who played the origi-
nal Belize in the Broadway production of
Tony Kushner’s Angels in America. Waters
wowed audiences in the area premiere of
Stage Directions, the first full-fledged gay-
themed production staged at St. Paul’s
Penumbra, the nation’s flagship African-
American theater company.
Waters calls the Pillsbury House show
“an event to celebrate black LGBT voices,
particularly those marginalized, and often
overlooked and intentionally underrepre-
sented, within the [larger] gay community.
August 14–27, 2009
What does our voice sound like, and are

we able to hear it amongst the throng
and cacophony of needs? Let us celebrate
these GLBT people right now, and talk to
the rest of the community, as we gain our
own perspectives.”
64
Harry Waters Jr. Photo by Tom Borrup
One of those perspectives will come

from Andrea Jenkins, a seasoned advocate
for transgender issues who will read from
her new book project Pieces of a Scream.
It explores gender identity, time, space,
home, and memory.
According to Jenkins, “Many of the po-
ems were inspired by original artwork that
will accompany the text.”
Jenkins sees the fund-raisers she takes
part in as “an opportunity to shed light and
understanding on queer communities of
color, as well as supporting the efforts to
bring that community together. I believe
that poetry and literature play a significant
role in community development, and I am
thrilled to be a small part of that.”
All proceeds from the August 15 event
will go to cover expenses for The Red Party
on September 12 to raise awareness around
HIV/AIDS. Minnesota AIDS Project and
African American AIDS Task Force also
are involved in The Red Party. Communi-
ties of color have been affected dispropor-
tionately by HIV/AIDS. Cuts in corporate
and government funding, along with the
current health-care crisis, only exacerbate
the situation. Lift Every Voice and…BE! is
a way to get the ball rolling toward assis-
tance to GLBT communities of color that
are affected. LavenderMagazine.com
LIFT EVERY VOICE AND...BE!

AUG. 15
PILLSBURY HOUSE THEATRE
3501 CHICAGO AVE. S. MPLS.
(651) 226-5243
65
The Network Business Profile |
[ by Heidi Fellner ]
Accounting_________ Computer Services___
Center for
Astrology__________ Funeral Services____ Courageous
Living
Barbers___________
Financial Services___
Dr. Ron Frederick. Photo Courtesy of Dr. Ron Frederick.
Business Services____
I
don’t know if it’s simply an American
cultural phenomenon, or if our foray
into the digital age has made a univer-
sal enemy of human emotions, but some-
thing in what Dr. Ron Frederick told me
certainly resonates. He believes that many
of us have been conditioned to shy away
from our emotions—to make them our
adversary, trusting only logic.
Anger, fear, and even love are dragged
through the mud. After all, which of us
haven’t thought ourselves to be utter fools
for experiencing any or all of them? How-
Chiropractors_______ ever, we are creatures of emotion, and
when we make them our most hated foe,
the war we wage is fought within our own
Health/Fitness_____ minds, to the detriment of our own hap-

piness.
Those who have internalized that
August 14–27, 2009
struggle may feel lost, depressed, or simply

stuck. And the few who seek out therapy
may receive an endless dissection of their
childhood, which may be very informa-
tive, but not solve the current problem.
At the Center for Courageous Living,
66
The Network
Frederick’s approach is very different, in

Health/Fitness_____ Home Services______
that it is centered on one's here-and-now
experience.
Frederick explains, “We help people
first recognize what they’re feeling, and be
able to put a name to it, and then we work
with them to more fully and comfortably
experience that emotion, so they can use it
to their advantage.”
Furthermore, Frederick’s theory about Home Services______
human emotions not only removes them
from our list of enemies, but also makes
them our strongest ally.
As Frederick adds, “Because of the way
our brain is wired, emotions can be much
more powerful than our thinking. For
example, we can be afraid of things that
we know in our mind there is no reason
to be afraid of. So, we need to know how
to work with our emotions, rather than
against them.”
Frederick finds this approach far more
effective and much faster than the tradition-
al "talk therapy" model of psychotherapy.
Frederick and Dr. Tim Beyer, who are
both Blue Cross Blue Shield Providers,
see clients at their office, 3100 West Lake
Street, Minneapolis.
However, if individual therapy is not
an option for you, or if you’d like to try
out Frederick’s techniques on your own,
his new book, Living Like you Mean it:
Use the wisdom and power of your emotions
to get the life you really want, makes as-
pects of his work accessible. More infor-
mation about the book can be found at
<www.livinglikeyoumeanit.com>.
NAME OF COMPANY: CENTER FOR COURAGEOUS

LIVING
YEAR FOUNDED: 2007
COFOUNDERS: RON FREDERICK, TIM BEYER
NUMBER OF EMPLOYEES: 0
ADDRESS: 3100 W. LAKE ST., MPLS.
PHONE: (612) 926-8149
WEB SITE: <WWW.CFCLIVING.COM>
67
The Network
Home Services______ Home Services______ Brief |
ORDWAY RENOVATES MAIN

HALL STAGE
Photo by Jeanne Koshfeld
After hosting 25 years of performanc-

es, Ordway Center for the Performing
Arts is retiring its original stage floor, and
renovating it this summer. It is a tradi-
tional, sprung floor ideal for dance, opera,
and musical theater performances.
Leontyne Price was the first per-
former on it. Alvin Ailey American Dance
Theater danced on it. And Les Misérables
performed 216 shows on it, breaking the
record for number of engagements at one
theater stage.
Ordway President and CEO Patricia
Mitchell Commented, “Over the years,
the Ordway’s Main Hall stage has been
sanded and resanded numerous times. It
Insurance__________ was too worn-down to refinish it again.
It is vital to maintain the condition of
the Ordway for all who enjoy and use its
space, so we may continue to bring excep-
tional theatrical, music, and dance perfor-
mances to the Twin Cities”
To that end, the Ordway’s 4,500-square-
foot stage floor is being renovated by
Minneapolis hardwood flooring experts
Anderson Ladd. Throughout the seven-
week-long construction process, oak
flooring will be installed, and the perma-
nent trapdoors will be repositioned. The
renovated stage then will receive several
coats of stain and precise buffing treat-
ments to ensure a pristine finish.
Funds for renovation of the stage floor
came from the state bonding bill dur-
ing the 2006 legislative session, part of
a $7.5-million-dollar renovation of the
Ordway. The renovation project began in
the fall of 2008, and will be completed in
August 14–27, 2009
the summer of 2010.
ORDWAY CENTER FOR THE

PERFORMING ARTS
345 WASHINGTON ST., ST. PAUL
<WWW.ORDWAY.ORG>
68
The Network
Calendar | Insurance__________ Pet Services________
[ LavenderMagazine.com ]
FRIDAY, AUGUST 14
Lights Camera Action. Sponsored by Phillips Com-
munity Television, a group of five young teens created
a documentary film about gay teen relationships. It
focuses on the story of a young girl who is dealing
with her identity as a lesbian. The five behind the
project hope people walk away with more knowledge
and understanding of GLBT teens. 3:30 PM. Minne-
apolis Central Library, 300 Nicollet Mall, Mpls. (612)
821-3938.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 21
The Breast Party in Town. Mixing fun with a good
cause, this fund-raiser for the Breast Cancer Aware-
ness Association will include entertainment all night,
along with live music, a fabulous silent auction, amaz-
ing food, and an after-party that will let you unwind.
5 PM. Reservations required. Epic Entertainment
Center, 110 N. 5th St., Mpls. (763) 548-1306. <www.
Psychotherapy______
bcaamn.org>.
SATURDAY, AUGUST 22
Christine Rosholt. Called a “winsome retro pleaser”
by the Star Tribune, singer Christine Rosholt will be
pleasing the Duluth crowd with The Jazz @ the Toga
Quartette. 3-7 PM. Club Saratoga, 331 Canal Park, Du-
luth. (218) 727-7865.
Real Estate_________
Pet Services________
Minnesota Renaissance Festival.

Photo Courtesy of Minnesota Renaissance Festival
Minnesota Renaissance Festival. En garde, you

swine! Bring on the mead! Or, some other medieval

catch phrase. It’s time to don the armor, and head on
out to annual Renaissance Festival, one of the largest-
attended themed festivals in the country. Weekends
through Oct. 4. 1244 Canterbury Rd. S., Shakopee.
(952) 445-7361. <www.renaissancefest.com>.
69
The Network
... [Calendar]
Real Estate_________ THURSDAY, AUGUST 27

Minnesota State Fair. It’s time for funnel cakes,
cookies, and concerts. One hundred years and run-
ning, the Minnesota State Fair has been a staple for
Twin Citians—and everyone else. Don’t miss a chance
to walk around all the booths; gorge on yummy—
though perhaps not healthy—food; and listen to
some of the biggest names in the music industry,
including Kelly Clarkson. Through Sept. 7. Minnesota
State Fairgrounds, 1265 N. Snelling Ave., St. Paul.
<www.mnstatefair.org>.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 28
Sopranorama: Divas of a Different Feather. Three
divas together on one stage are good for more than
drama. Enjoy irresistible sopranos Mario Jette, Janis
Hardy, and Molly Sue McDonald, as they perform mu-
sic from the sublime to the downright silly. The Star
Tribune said, “It’s about voices and musicianship and
that almost tangible delight in seeing a performer
get it just right….” Aug. 28-30. The Southern Theater,
1420 Washington Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 340-1725. <www.
southerntheater.org>.
ONGOING
Africa! Join the Minnesota Zoo, as it continues to
carry guests away in the endless sea of grass that is
the Africa exhibit. Catch a glimpse of majestic gi-
raffes browsing succulent treetops, as well as herds
of gemsbok and zebras, as they graze on the sweet
new shoots. Through Sept. 7. Minnesota Zoo, 13000
Zoo Blvd., Apple Valley. (952) 431-9217. <www.mnzoo.
org>.
Kathy Wismar.
Photo Courtesy of of Traffic Zone Center
Born of Fire. Traffic Zone Gallery is proud to pres-

ent a multiartist exhibition of wood-fired clay works
by noted Minnesota and Wisconsin craftsmen. It com-
bines functionality with architecture for a reflection
August 14–27, 2009
upon the area. Through Aug 26. Traffic Zone Gallery,

250 3rd Ave. N., Mpls. (612) 240-4654. <www.traffic-
zoneart.com>.
The Brave New Workshop Saves the Planet; or
Yes We Can, but Do We Have To? The titles may
be getting longer as the years go on, but the com-
edy only gets better. Watch as Brave New Workshop
takes on the issues of the world, and saves you from
70
Backtalk > Lavender Lens [ Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]
the mundane that is your life. Through Oct. 31. Brave

New Workshop, 2605 Hennepin Ave. S., Mpls. (612)
332-6620. <www.bravenewworkshop.com>.
Cassandra Shore and Jawaahir Dance Company. LAVENDER FIRST THURSDAY
With dazzling movement and brilliantly colorful cos-
tumes, Jawaahir (“jewels” in Arabic) lives up to its
AUGUST 6
namesake. It’s just one of three companies in the FUJI YA
nation committed to Middle Eastern dance forms. MINNEAPOLIS
Jawaahir’s internationally known production is a rare
jewel for the Midwest that should not be missed.
Wed-Sun. Through Aug 23. The Southern Theater,
1420 Washington Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 340-1725. <www.
southerntheater.org>.
The Kimono Show. Kicking off a two-month event,
the Artist Mercantile will be giving the public a chance
to view a rare and exclusive collection of vintage ki-
monos from Japan. The kimonos not only will stay on
display, but also paper cranes and Asian art will be
included. Mon.-Fri., 10 AM-5 PM. Sat., 11 AM-5 PM.
Through Sept. 5. Artist Mercantile, 24 W. 7th Pl., St.
Paul. (651) 222-0053. <www.artistmerc.com>.
Sin and Salvation: William Holman Hunt and the
Pre-Raphaelite Vision. Minneapolis Institute of Arts
offers visitors a rare glimpse into the life and work of
19th-Century painter William Holman Hunt, with an
exhibition of more than 60 iconic works by the artist
who is considered to be the founder of the Pre-Rapha-
elite Brotherhood, and has been deemed by some to
be the Damien Hirst of his day. Through Sept. 16. Min-
neapolis Institute of Arts, 2400 3rd Ave. S., Mpls. (612)
870-3046. <www.artsmia.org>.
When We Are Married.

Photo by T. Charles Erickson
When We Are Married. Set in 1908, J.B. Priestley’s

farcical comedy starts off as a celebration of the silver
wedding anniversary for three different couples, but
soon turns hilarious, as a secret spreads, and the cou-
ples’ relationships are tested to the limits. Through
Aug. 30. Guthrie Theater, 818 S. 2nd St., Mpls. (612)
377-2224. <www.guthrietheater.org>.
Yulong: The Jade Dragon. For the past 15 years, Cir-
cus Juventas has wowed the Twin Cities with its feats of
athleticism and gravity-defying moves, all performed
by children 8 to 22. This year, the circus has added an
Asian flair to its magnificent show. Be amazed, as the

performers tell the story inspired by the ancient Chi-
nese legend of Mulan. Be quick, though, as tickets will
sell out. Through Aug. 16. Circus Juventas Big Top,
1270 Montreal Ave., St. Paul. (651) 209-6799. <www.
uptowntix.com>.
71
Community Connection
Community Connection brings Art Galleries Historical
visibility to local GLBT-friendly non- Minneapolis Institute of Arts Minnesota Historical Society
profit organizations. To reserve your Enjoy Masterpieces From All Over The The best of Minnesota comes to life with fun,
listing in Community Connection, call World And Every Period Of Human History. hands-on exhibits and signature programs.
612-436-4698 or email advertising@ Free Admission Daily! 345 Kellogg Blvd
lavendermagazine.com. 2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN W., St. Paul, MN
(612) 870-3000 www.artsmia.org (651) 259-3000
www.mnhs.org/historycenter Neighborhood Associations
Neighborhood Development Center
Landmark Center (NDC)
Beautifully Restored Old Federal Courts 663 University Ave. Suite 200
Building, Housing Arts Events, Gangster St. Paul, MN 55104
Tours, Museums, Café, Gift Shop! 651-291-2480
Addiction Info & Treatment 75 West 5th St.
Hazelden St. Paul, MN Powderhorn Park Neighborhood
Providing comprehensive treatment, (651) 292-3225 Association / Powderhorn Art Fair
recovery solutions. Helping people reclaim Community Activism www.landmarkcenter.org Bringing together diverse residents of the
their lives from the disease of addiction. Project 515
A focused initiative to ensure that same sex neighborhood to enhance the physical,
P.O. Box 11 economic, housing, cultural environment.
15251 Pleasant Valley Rd Center City, MN couples and their families have equal rights
and considerations under Minnesota law. 821 E. 35th Street
(800) 257-7800 www.hazelden.org Minneapolis, MN (612) 722-4817
P.O. Box 50143 Minneapolis, MN
(612) 246-3885 www.project515.org www.ppna.org
www.powderhornartfair.com
LGBT Health & Wellness

Education GLBTCALLITQUITS.COM
Minnesota Online Highschool If you’re ready to quit smoking, we’re here
Get ready for college and life with a to support you.
supportive, online, public school that fits 1-866-434-9736
AIDS/HIV Information & you
Treatment 1313 5 Street, SE, Suite 227 Tobacco-Free Lavender Communities
Aliveness Project, The Minneapolis, MN 55414 A program of Rainbow Health Initiative
Community Center for Individuals Living Phone: 1-800-764-8166 x 111 A coalition reducing the impact of tobacco
with HIV/AIDS -- On-site Meals, Food Shelf Fax: 1-866-586-2870 use, through mini-grants, education, and Performing Arts
and Supportive Services. Website: www.mnohs.org community events. Bloomington Civic Theatre
730 East 38th St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 710-2019 www.MNTLC.org Bloomington Civic Theatre brings the best
(612) 824-LIFE (5433) www.aliveness.org (612) 708-6208 www.rainbowhealth.org of Broadway musicals under the direction
of John Command.
Clare Housing - Partners in AIDS Care Events 1800 W. Old Shakopee Rd.
Providing affordable housing, supportive Minnesota AIDS Trek Bloomington, MN
services and compassionate care to people Annual Bike Trek To Benefit Top Shelf, (952) 563-8575
living with HIV/AIDS. AIDS Care Partners, Camp Benedict, UCLA www.bloomingtoncivictheatre.org
929 Central Ave. NE Vaccine Program.
Minneapolis, MN 3017 York Ave. N. Robbinsdale, MN Brazen Theatre
(612) 239-9515 (763) 522-8067 Plays, Musicals, Cabaret and Other
www.clarehousing.org [email protected] www.aids-trek.org Entertainment for Adventurous Audiences.
Library See Individual Ads for Venue
HIM Program Red Ribbon Ride Quatrefoil Library (414) 248-6481
One of the Red Door Services Four-day Bike Ride in July Benefiting Your GLBT Library with stacks of DVDs, www.brazentheatre.org
of the Hennepin County Public Health Seven HIV/AIDS Service Organizations in books, and magazines. Check out our
Clinic. Minnesota. online catalogue. Guthrie Theater
525 Portland Ave. 4th Floor 4457 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 1619 Dayton Ave., No. 105 St. Paul, MN Come On In! Performances, Classes,
Minneapolis, MN (612) 822-2110 www.redribbonride.org (651) 641-0969 www.qlibrary.org Dining, Tours.
(612) 348-9100 818 South 2nd St. Minneapolis, MN
www.himprogram.org (612) 377-2224 www.guthrietheater.org
www.StopSyphilisNOW.org
www.CrystalClearMN.org Hennepin Theatre Trust
www.inSPOT.org/Minnesota Orpheum, State and Pantages Theatres
Twin Cities’ best live entertainment:
MAP AIDSline Broadway shows, music concerts, comedy,
MAP AIDSLine is the confidential statewide dance and more!
toll-free HIV information and referral Minneapolis, MN
service. Media & Communications (612) 673-0404
1400 Park Ave. Minneapolis, MN Graphic Design Minnesota Public Radio
www.HennepinTheatreDistrict.org
(612) 373-AIDS (metro) or Minneapolis College of Art and Design Providing in depth news coverage,
(800) 248-AIDS (statewide) (MCAD) classical music and emerging artists on our
three regional services. Illusion Theater
[email protected] Offering BFA, BS, and MFA degrees, post- Nationally Renowned For Developing
www.mnaidsproject.org graduate certificates, and classes for youth (651) 290-1212
www.mpr.org Artists and New Work While Sparking
and adults. Conversation About Challenging Human
Park House 2501 Stevens Avenue Issues.
Day Health / Mental Health Treatment Minneapolis, MN Radio K 770
Radio K is the award-winning student-run 528 Hennepin Ave., #704
Program for Adults Living with HIV/AIDS. www.mcad.edu Minneapolis, MN
710 E. 24th Street, Suite 303 radio station of the University of Minnesota
330 21st Ave. S. (612) 339-4944 www.illusiontheater.org
Minneapolis, MN
(612) 871-1264 610 Rarig Center
University of Minnesota Jungle Theater
www.allina.com/ahs/anw.nsf/page/ Professional theater producing
park_house_home Minneapolis, MN 55455
(612) 625-3500 www.radiok.org contemporary and classic works
in an intimate setting in the Lynlake
U of MN Research Studies neighborhood.
Looking for HIV+ and HIV- individuals to 2951 Lyndale Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN
participate in research studies. Museums (612) 822-7063 www.JungleTheater.com
August 14–27, 2009
420 Delaware Street SE

Minneapolis, MN 55455 Grantmaker/Funder Science Museum of Minnesota
Boasts a 100-year history of a hands- Minneapolis Musical Theatre
612-625-7472 DIVA MN
Through creative events, DIVA MN raises on approach to science, learning and “Giving Voice to the Human Experience” -
WEB ADDRESS entertainment. New and Rarely-Seen Musicals.
money to provide grants which impact
AIDS/HIV in MN. 120 West Kellogg Blvd. 8520 W. 29th St.
12911 Forest Meadow Dr. St. Paul, MN Minneapolis, MN
Minnetonka, MN 651-221-2547 www.smm.org (612) 605-3298
952-544-6599 www.divamn.org www.aboutmmt.org
72
Community Connection
Performing Arts Pets Religious & Spiritual Social Organizations
The Minnesota Opera Animal Humane Society Mount Olive Lutheran Church Imperial Court of Minnesota
America’s Most Exciting Opera Company Buffalo: (763) 390-3647 Ours is a welcoming parish, rich in music, P.O. Box 582417
Now Has a New GLBTA Group “Out at the Coon Rapids: (763) 862-4030 liturgy and opportunities to serve the Minneapolis, MN
Opera!” Golden Valley: (763) 522-4325 community. www.impcourtmn.com
620 N. First St. St. Paul: (651) 645-7387 3045 Chicago Ave. Minneapolis, MN
Minneapolis, MN Woodbury: (651) 730-6008 (612) 827-5919
(612) 342-9550 www.mnopera.org www.animalhumanesociety.org www.mountolivechurch.org
Minnesota Orchestra Plymouth Congregational Church,

Led by Music Director Osmo Vänskä, the Minneapolis
Minnesota Orchestra, one of America’s A Beacon of Liberal Theology. Progressive
leading symphony orchestras. Christianity, Traditional Setting & Service, Sports & Recreation
1111 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis, MN Social Action, The Arts & Music. North Star Gay Rodeo Association
(612) 371-5656 (800) 292-4141 1900 Nicollet Ave. at Franklin Assisting local community and charities
www.minnesotaorchestra.org Minneapolis, MN through fundraisers,support and education
Politics & Rights (612) 871-7400 about western lifestyle and skills.
One Voice Mixed Chorus Human Rights Campaign www.plymouth.org P.O. Box 48039
Passionate about building community and Advocates for all GLBT Americans, mobilizes Coon Rapids, MN 55448
creating social change by raising our grassroots action, invests strategically to Spirit of the Lakes, UCC (United Church (763) 786-7472
voices in song. elect fair-minded individuals. of Christ) www.nsgra.org [email protected]
732 Holly Ave. Ste. Q Saint Paul, MN P.O. Box 50608 Minneapolis, MN God’s Warehouse...Something Is
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A statewide alliance of students, staff,
Midtown Global Market St. Mark’s Welcomes You.
Park Square Theatre An internationally-themed public market 519 Oak Grove St. Minneapolis, MN faculty, alumni, and community members
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(651) 291-7005 world. We’re a Joyful, Compassionate Commmunity
www.parksquaretheatre.org 920 E. Lake St. Suite G.10 on a Spiritual Journey, Seeking Justice and
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Exploring And Expanding The Art of (612) 331-5988 www.ulch.org
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Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus (612) 824-2673 www.agcmcc.org
An award-winning chorus that builds (612) 332-3421 www.ewestminster.org
community through music and offers Central Lutheran Church
entertainment worth coming out for! Wingspan Ministry
528 Hennepin Ave., Suite 307
We welcome all people to celebrate, + PASTORAL CARE + EDUCATION + Women’s Services
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Minneapolis, MN 333 Twelfth St. S. Minneapolis, MN A Minnesota based non-profit grassroots
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100 N. Oxford St. St. Paul, MN
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and Dance “Informal, progressive, joyful, justice
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diverse mix of performances on both land 5835 Lyndale Ave. S.
and water. www.myspace.com/rumclivingwaters
U of M Theatre
330 21st Ave S, Minneapolis, MN Edina Community Lutheran Church
(612) 624-2345 Upbeat, growing congregation committed
www.theatre.umn.edu to inclusion, justice, peace,
community and proclaiming God’s YES to
U of M Centennial Showboat all.
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Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Gay/Bi. 952-431-9200 mnzoo.org
Church University of Minnesota Minneapolis, MN
Take a Spiritual Journey With Hennepin’s (612) 626-7187
Faith Community Through Worship, www.epi.umn.edu/m2m
Education, Fellowship, Service, and More.
511 Groveland Ave. Minneapolis, MN
(612) 871-5303 www.haumc.org
Classifieds
Business Opportunities Health/Fitness Real Estate Real Estate
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House Cleaning
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August 14–27, 2009
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74
Therapeutic Massage
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75
Ms. Behavior© |
[ by Meryl Cohn ]
Desperate Woman
Dear Ms. Behavior:
I’m in a monogamous relationship with
a woman I love, but I’m in a predicament.
I want to make out with someone else—or,
I’d settle for touching her body a bit. If
I were to ask my friends for advice, most
of them would say, “End the relationship
you’re in first.”
But isn’t it stupid to jump to that con-
clusion when it may not be necessary?
Couldn’t making out with someone else
be just an experience, maybe even a one-
time thing?
My friend, Emily, just died, and she
was only 40. I know she and her partner
weren’t getting along. So, now I’m think-
ing, if Emily had had the chance to have
someone take her breath away for five
minutes, to make her wet, to make her
words quiver, don’t you think she would
have (maybe even should have) enjoyed
the moment?
What’s with all this morality crap any-
way? Where does it get us?
No one among my immediate friends
wouldn’t judge me, so I’m asking you, Ms.
Behavior: Would it really be so bad just to
kiss someone, or hold her for a few minutes?
—Desperate Woman
Dear Desperate Woman:

Ah, the classic dilemma.
If only you could kiss another woman’s
lips, or perhaps touch her boobies, all
would be well with the world, right?
The problem is that you’re standing at
the top of the very mountain for which the
term “slippery slope” was created. You’re in
a monogamous relationship, but you meet
someone you like and want to kiss. At first,
it all seems very innocent and sweet.
How could anything be wrong with
pressing your lips against hers? Couldn’t
this be totally compartmentalized from
your relationship?
Pretty soon, kissing the new woman
opens an unexpected doorway, and then—
uh-oh—kissing just isn’t enough. So, next
you touch her breasts under the bra. Soon,
you realize that really you’re very tired, and
need to lie down…together. You slip one
August 14–27, 2009
of your legs between her thighs, because,

well, it just fits perfectly. As you snuggle, her
breast slips into your mouth so easily. When
she grabs your butt, and writhes against you,
it becomes clear that you need to take off
76
your jeans, because they’re chafing you.
Nothing’s wrong with hugging while
you’re in your underwear, right?
Your hugs are so wholesome and sweet
that a thin cotton barrier is really all it takes
to keep your chastity intact. Her slight
gasps and hard breathing only indicate that
she hasn’t been hugged in a long time. And
then, that thin cotton barrier is somehow in
the way, and suddenly, you’re both naked.
What a surprise!
Depending on your personality, it can
take anywhere from 10 minutes to a whole
year to go through all these steps, but Ms.
Behavior predicts that if you kiss this woman,
your damp underwear eventually will end up
on the floor, entwined with hers, as you lie on
the bed, basting in each other’s juices.
Soon, you wonder: How did all this
happen?
Poor dead Emily has caused a crisis,
hasn’t she?
If only she’d gotten to make out with
someone before she died, she would have
died a happier woman. Or maybe not. But
that’s what you’re imagining in this mo-
ment, coinciding with the awakening of
your libido—which feels like the opposite
of being dead.
The message you’re getting from your
psyche (or maybe your clit) is one of long-
ing. Maybe you’re longing for another
woman because you and your partner
aren’t connecting well right now, or be-
cause you’re in a fallow phase of your rela-
tionship. Or maybe it’s just that you’re hu-
man, and it’s totally normal to experience
an occasional intense attraction to some-
one else, even if you’re monogamous.
Your feelings, of course, aren’t the
problem. The problem is that you want to
have your attraction, and eat her, too.
Mainly, you have a commitment to
your partner, which you’ll be breaking if
you act on this attraction without letting
her know that you intend to do it. No one
likes a liar or a cheat.
So, you either can be honest with your
partner, or decide not to act on the attraction.
It may help to talk it through with a friend
or a therapist. Whatever you do, don’t hide
your lustful feelings in a dark closet, where
they only will grow large and strange.
Of course, you may decide to kiss or
touch this woman anyway—and it doesn’t
mean that you’re a terrible person—but
it’s not likely to lead to a healthy outcome
or a happy wife.
© 2009 Meryl Cohn. Address questions and correspondence

to <[email protected]>. She is the author of Do What I Say:
Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton
Mifflin). Signed copies are available directly from the author.
77
August 14–27, 2009
78
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79
August 14–27, 2009
80
Yellow Pages > Advertiser Index
Adult Computer & Internet Gabberts Design Studio & Fine Optical
1-800-GayLive .............................. 77 DeskTech ....................................... 66 Furnishings ............................... 23 Maple Grove Eye Clinic .............. 56
Déjà Vu .......................................... 80 Meefers.com ................................. 10 Lussuria Lini.................................... 15
Dream Girls ................................... 78
FindFred.com................................. 79 Dating Services Organizations
Simply Introduced......................... 44 Home Services Human Rights Campaign ............. 4
Hennepin Avenue Adult Boutique78 Abbott Paint & Carpet .................. 55
Interactive Male ............................ 76, 79 Bauer Floor Covering ................... 68
Megaphone .................................. 75 Education Bluestem Construction .................. 67 Pet Products & Services
Squirt-PressNet .............................. 75 Metropolitan State University ...... 13 Boe Plumbing ................................ 27 Animal Humane Society ............. 7
Bretts True Quality Homes ........... 24 Ark Pet Hospital ............................ 69
Larpenteur Animal Hospital ......... 56
Apparel & Accessories Events
Current Affairs Electric.................. 68
EM Contracting............................. 68 Pampered Pooch Playground ...... 69
STYLEDLIFE-styledlook.................. 5 AIA Homes by Architects Tour ..... 9, 11, 13 Garlock-French Roofing .............. 55
Lavender First Thursday................ 42 Glacier Concrete & Masonry...... 68
Arts & Entertainment Summer of Pride............................ 31 Political
Good Stuff Moving ...................... 68 Council Member Barbara
Camden Music School................. 19 Grout Professionals ....................... 67 Johnson .................................... 22
Halloween Haunt at ValleySCARE15 Halet Remodeling & Renovations 67
Hennepin Theatre Trust ............... 29
Financial Council Member Don Samuels ... 22
Boyer, Daniel................................. 66 Handyman-Herb ........................... 67
Northside Arts Collective ............. 19 Home Valu Interiors ...................... 21
Moltaji, Roya ................................. 9
Univ. of Minn. Theatre Arts &
Palm, Karen ................................... 11 Hopkins Carpet One .................... 63 Real Estate & Rentals
Dance ....................................... 29 Jeff’s SOS Drain & Sewer Abele, David ................................. 70
ROR Tax Professionals.................. 66
Workhouse Theatre ...................... 19 Services .................................... 57 Blue by Greco ............................... 63
US Bank ......................................... 21
Larry R. Opelt Architecture & Bowman, Jennifer.......................... 70
Wells Fargo Bank ......................... 7
Design ..................................... 68 Groff, Wayne ................................ 69
Automotive
Matt’s Tree Service ....................... 68 Lakes Area Realty ......................... 69
LaMettry’s Collision ...................... 65
Floral & Garden Natural Organizing...................... 19 Launert, Malinda .......................... 21
TerraVista Landscape & Design .. 15 Personal Pride Construction ......... 67 Leviton, Ann ................................... 70
Bars & Clubs Ryan’s Tree Care .......................... 68 Marquette Place and One Ten
Twin Cities Bar Advertiser Guide 32 Sage Building & Remodeling ...... 68 Grant ........................................ 10
19 Bar ............................................ 39 Funeral Services Soderlin Plumbing, Heating & McGee, Michael .......................... 56
BAR AIDS ...................................... 84 Funeral Consult ............................. 66 Air Conditioning ...................... 61 New Home Store Realty .............. 61
Camp ............................................. 43 Solum Fine Flooring ...................... 67 Park Plaza ..................................... 19
Gay 90’s ...................................... 33, 34, SOS Homecare ............................ 67 Richardson, Beth ........................... 11
Gifts
........................................................ 35, 83 Stoneman Masonry ...................... 61 Ruzick, Amy & Johnson, Kay ....... 70
Eyes of Horus ................................ 66
LUSH Food Bar ............................. 44 Summit Construction ..................... 67 Sherman Associates ..................... 57
Fantasy Gifts ................................. 55
Minneapolis Eagle/Bolt ............... 36 The Tile Shop ................................ 12 Sohre, Steve .................................. 59
Max’s ............................................. 56
Rumours/Innuendo ....................... 39 Trademark Tile & Remodeling ..... 67 Walker, Nancy ............................. 10
Saloon ........................................... 37 Universal Windows Direct ........... 59
Tickles ............................................ 43 Grocery Stores Vujovich ......................................... 65
Restaurants
Town House ................................. 41 Midtown Global Market .............. 49
The Bad Waitress .......................... 9
Insurance Boca Chica Restaurant and
Beauty & Relaxation Health, Wellness & AAA Minneapolis Insurance Cantina..................................... 52
Barbers on Bryant ......................... 66 Recovery Agency ..................................... 57 Broadway Pizza ........................... 19
Garden of Eden ............................ 59 3 Bears Chiropractic .................... 66 American Family Insurance.......... 62 Dancing Ganesha ........................ 53
Juventus MedSpa & Laser C........ 15 Burns, Steve ................................... 61 Arens, John .................................... 69 Fuji Ya ............................................ 51
Carrillo, Dr. Thomas P. .................. 69 Baldwin, Davina ........................... 69 Hell’s Kitchen ................................ 49
Herr, Cindy .................................... 68 KinDee Thai Restaurant ................ 52
Beverages Complete Body ............................. 67
Wagner Insurance-Financial Midtown Global Market .............. 49
Budweiser ...................................... 45 The Firm A Workout Studio .......... 19
Full Potential Personal Training .... 66 Services .................................... 68 Papa’s Pizza and Pasta ................ 19
Heffelfinger, Kate .......................... 69 Whitesong, Therese ...................... 69 Park Tavern Bowling &
Business Services inSPOT ........................................... 64 Wolfson, Steve .............................. 69 Entertainment Center .............. 49
Rapid Refill Print Solution Sea Change .................................. 49
Klausen, Paul DDS ....................... 10
Superstore ................................ 66 Sushi Tango ................................... 52
Mayfield Chiropractic .................. 11 Legal Toast Wine Bar & Café ................ 51
Pride Institute ................................. 14 Cloutier & Brandl .......................... 29 Tootie’s on Lowry .......................... 19
Coffee & Tea Rainbow Health Initiative ............. 2 Dean, Jeff ...................................... 5 Uptown Diner/Calhoun Grill/Louisiana
Spyhouse Coffeeshop .................. 9 Stolz, James................................... 69 Dunlap Law Office ....................... 9 Café/Grandview Grill ............ 53
Steamworks Coffee & Tea University of Minnesota, Heltzer & Burg .............................. 25 Wilde Roast Café ......................... 51
Company ................................. 19 Infectious Diseases .................. 3 Hoffner Law Firm .......................... 7 Zen Restaurant .............................. 52
Moshier, Becky ............................. 11
Terry, Slane, Ruohonen ............... 7

Communications Home Furnishings & Travel & Accommodations
89.3 The Current .......................... 59 Accessories Sheraton Duluth Hotel .................. 24
Air America Minnesota ................ 80 DirectBuy of Minneapolis ............ 27 Mortgage
Radio K .......................................... 53 Furniture Manor ............................ 64 First Equity Mortgage ................... 43
81
Backtalk > Consider the Source [ by Julie Dafydd ]
It’s All Green to Me

M
any of you
will prob-
ably attend
a family re-
union this summer. And
many will probably then
take whatever steps are
necessary to legally declare
that they have absolutely no relatives.
Not living. Not deceased. And definitely
not crammed around a picnic table forcing
innocent people to eat Aunt Ebba’s radioac-
tive potato salad.
Of course, I’d be the last to imply that
most people, after spending several hours at a
family reunion, are haunted by a single ques-
tion: How can I be related to these people?
That would be silly. In fact, based on
numerous scientific studies, this question
occurs to the average person after spending
less than four minutes at a family reunion.
I recently returned from just such a
gathering. Or, as I detailed in a sworn depo-
sition to the FBI: “From being kidnapped would have been just fine. At least Hell, to And I can’t even begin to tell you the ex-
and held hostage by terrorist-like individu- my knowledge, does not have hiking trails. citement that broke out when a badger was
als who actually offered me Trail Mix, and I have since learned that hiking trails are spotted sitting on a rock.
claimed to have no knowledge of the near- designed by people who have no concept At first glance, I thought it was Cousin
est factory outlet mall.” of how nature was meant to be enjoyed: Roy’s kid. But then, I noticed that the ro-
First, I was herded into a van the size of on a big-screen TV, in an air-conditioned dent, although it seemed to be facing the
Canada. That way, everyone, including Un- lounge, with two-for-one well drinks, and same dental challenges as Roy Jr., wasn’t
cle Gunnar, could fit. He was then able to free popcorn. constantly picking its nose.
spend the next two hours repeating the same So, we all start hiking down this path, I was about to give my “I’m Willing
story every 12 minutes until someone had which, I believe, early settlers dubbed the To Sign Over My College Grant Money
the presence of mind to slip into a coma. “Trail of Death Where Mosquitoes Eat En- to Anyone Who Can Help Me Prove I
At which point Uncle Gunnar asked, tire Families Before Brunch.” Was Switched at Birth” speech, when we
with extreme concern in his voice, “Did I Swell. Let them start with Uncle Gun- reached our final stop. Yep, after walking
ever tell ya ’bout the time I thought I was nar. I had bigger problems to deal with: half the distance to the sun accompanied by
in a coma?” There were all these plants growing along Uncle Albert, who truly believes he’ll find
So, we’re driving along, and rather than the sides of the trail, and, for reasons only a a perfectly nice family to rent his chicken
follow my suggestion—“Please! Just let me geneticist who studied the effects of replac- coop, my reward was to behold…
jump!”—I’m informed we’re going to a place ing a human brain with a hunk of Play-Doh The nation’s largest natural bog.
I thought only existed in the twisted imagi- can understand, my relatives found this Of course, the relatives were incredibly
nation of PBS documentary filmmakers. stuff fascinating. excited. I, on the other hand, believed we
Yes. A nature center. They had to stop at every single plant. were staring at an oversized green sponge
Somewhat skeptical initially, I subtly in- Smell it. Touch it. And then take several that looked just a little bit two much like…
August 14–27, 2009
quired: “Are you people completely insane? hundred photographs to be shared at a fu- Aunt Ebba’s potato salad.
Why not just drive through the bowels of ture family gathering during which I will be Roll eyes here, and just consider the
Hell, and condemn our souls to eternal forced to say: “Yes, Aunt Marta. That is a source.
damnation?” very unusual leaf. It looks nothing like the Bye for now.
But as we pulled up to the nature center, other 52 pictures of identical green things Kiss, kiss.
it was clear I was way off base. A trip to Hell with stems.”
82

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Photo by Hubert Bonnet Photo by Hubert Bonnet Photo by Carla Waldemar

COMMUNITY DIALOGUE Use Your Black “Bar” Tab To Find

OF THE YEAR Scott Kyle

American Architect • Holman Hunt and

26 50 Newsletter, Events, plus the chance to

FLIP FOR THE

Photo by Michal Daniel Photo by Hubert Bonnet

SPORTS & LEISURE

82 Consider the Source

Letters are subject to editing for grammar, punctuation, space,

Lavender Media Inc.

LavenderMagazine.com BigGayNews.com WandaWisdom.com

Being True to Oneself—Guilt-Free

Photo Courtesy of cpcsm.org

Ms. Behavior Wins Jane Chambers Award

St. Paul Creates Domestic Partner Registry

Papa’s Pizza and Pasta. Photo by Hubert Bonnet

tember, affordability was the key consideration.

Breeggemann recalls, “Back ated the NOMI (short for North

the Twin Cities started when Breeggemann

Papa’s Pizza and Paste. Photos by Hubert Bonnet

has led to the sale of at least 10

Same-sex couples in Wisconsin now

OBAMA TO AWARD MEDAL OF

major sports ﬁgures when she revealed

CENSUS TO REPORT SAME-

ISRAEL’S GAY COMMUNITY

his partner, opera singer Hans Heijnis,

DISORDERED (THY NAME IS TEENAGER) / AUG.

Don’t stereotype this teen-created col-

Whatever Works. Photo taken by Jessica Miglio, © Gravier Productions, Inc.,

Get real! Woody Allen wrote the

middle-aged sexual awakening, with Os-

ERASTES ALEX BEECROFT

MALE/MALE ROMANCE NOVELS FLOURISH

01 19 BAR GLADIUS 10 RUMOURS

Kings & Queens Tap, Waterloo Chances R, La Crosse

OPEN THE LONGEST

408 HENNEPIN AVE., MPLS.

Minnesota AIDS Project

seating. We plan to make tio—it’s going to be fabulous!”

IML Says Bye Bye Barebacking

For club addresses, phone numbers, and Web

Benefit To Help Jol D. Principal Attend

FRIDAY, AUGUST 21 CONTINUED

9:30 PM. La Femme Show Lounge. Gay 90’s.

gether with a mango-pineapple

MUDDY PAWS CHEESECAKE

John Michael Lerma is a local chef, author, Food Network

Our Guide to the Metro Eateries Featured in This

BAD WAITRESS DINER & COFFEESHOP $

BOCA CHICA RESTAURANT $

THE CALHOUN GRILL $

FUJI YA JAPANESE RESTAURANT $$

THE GRANDVIEW GRILL $

THE LOUISIANA CAFÉ $

NEW UPTOWN DINER $

PARK TAVERN BOWLING & ENTERTAIN-

SPYHOUSE COFFEE SHOP $