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CORE RULES
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B-ASICS B-ASICS B-ASICS B-ASICS
GETTING INTO
AN RPG-13
PRODUCTION
The Guildhall Press publishes this game
and a series of genre expansions using the RPG-
13 B-Movie Game System. We are a publishing
company based in Toronto, Canada. Our Website
is at www.guildhallpress.com and contains
information on all of our projects. Our
www.playbmovie.com Web site contains a demo
of this and other RPG-13 B-Movie Game System
titles. The www.trythegame.com Web site will
gradually include demos for all of our work.
This game includes the Scared Stiff B-
Movie Horror Genre Rules. Scared Stiff is the
first of several b-movie backgrounds using the
RPG-13 B-Movie Game System. The RPG that
indicates this is a role-playing game. The several
games planned for the system encompass almost
every genre imaginable with one set of rules. The
13 is added because, together with the PG, it
captures the flavour of b-movies and identifies
the target audience as teens and adults. The words
B-Movie Game System simply crown the
description. We feel the RPG-13 B-Movie Game
System name captures the essence of the games.
The game is designed around the RPG-13
Core Rules (the first 1/3 of this book more or
less) that are necessary to play no matter what
genre is chosen. Scared Stiff and the other Genre
Rules (such as the last 2/3 of this book that covers
the horror genre) provide the specific rules that
tailor the game to the background being used. The
Core Rules paired with any of the Genre Rules
provide for a very detailed duplication of the feel
of each genre.
The Core Rules describe how to handle
each of the situations common to every genre.
The Genre Rules describe character creation and
the special rules to bring out the flavour of the
setting being described. The language is also
tailored to each game so the feel can be very
different and the right mindset can be achieved.
Each expansion in the series will detail
four related sub-genres within a single broad
genre. The series will encompass several genres
and the dozens of related sub-genres. RPG-13 B-
Movie Game System is flexible enough to handle
anything with a slightly schticky or very schlocky
feel, because it is designed to duplicate genre
conventions instead of reality.
Scared Stiff deals with horror and has
information on the Traditional Terror, Mega
Monster, Alien Invasion, and Supernatural
Conspiracy sub-genres. Other games in the series
will cover science fiction, fantasy, superheroes,
modern action, historical heroism and other
genres. A demo of this game can be found at
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www.playbmovie.com and we invite your
feedback.
FIENDISH
FOREWORD
This role-playing game duplicates the
hilarious camp found in second-rate rate horror
movies. Horror is the ultimate genre for bad
cinema because it is unique in being at its best
where it fails most dreadfully.
Horror tries to safely bring excitement
into our rather banal lives. We can close the book
or shut off the movie at any time. It offers us the
thrills we no longer get in everyday life, without
any real risk.
It is likely, that when horror fails, it
becomes humour purely because humour is the
form of entertainment closest to it. The two mesh
brilliantly despite appearing to be opposites.
Comedy uses many of the same elements
as horror. It plays on realism for believability,
exaggeration to disguise direction, appeals to
emotions to build tension, and often provides a
sudden surprise to make the ending unexpected.
Comedy and horror are very similar in execution.
Comedy is also an expression of what
horror depicts anger and frustration.
Ultimately, comedy is hostility. A comic brags
that I, killed the audience, broke em up,
made em scream, knocked em dead, or
murdered em. These are sentiments close to
the heart of every b-movie fan. Comics can pour
out their rage in a forum where they are not going
to be beaten by an angry mob. Try doing the same
thing on a Los Angeles freeway!
It is sometimes said that laughter is simply
a means for venting anxiety. People dont laugh
at a guy slipping on a banana peel, they laugh
when he gets up. If he gets up it is comedy; if he
doesnt it is tragedy. If he doesnt and it is
graphic, it is horror. As much as modern life can
lack thrills, it can also produce a great deal of
anxiety. When the tension built up by a joke
disappears, so does the tension we already had.
There is no point in writing a University
thesis on the subject. It is enough to say that the
two styles often blur together and the game is
incredible fun. That in the end is enough.
Remember: Yours is not to question why, yours
is but to yadda, yadda, yadda.
This game is about having fun. The rules
show the method of play, the elements of horror,
and the components of humour. We have
included much more advice than is found in many
games, but it is not superfluous. Horror and
humour are two of the more difficult genres to
pull off well, even if they mesh impeccably once
you learn the tricks.
You can learn this game the day you buy
it and play it the next day. Your players will
easily pick up the rules as they go along, even if
they are novices. As time passes, the hints for
running your game can be used to add more
enjoyment. The game is meant to provide
everything you need to master the game, not to
require mastery for play to start!
We found in the play testing that Scared
Stiff can be played regularly. The players quickly
learned that this was not a game that could only
be played a few times a year. They also learned
that the game supported ongoing play admirably.
The game is surprisingly durable.
Later, you can look forward to the quick
release of Misadventures and genre expansions.
The Guildhall Press will support the game fully
for the next decade or more.
Of course, dont just take our word for it!
Go on and play and youll see! Theres
everything you need to have Misadventures that
are so funny theyre scary!
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TERROR 101 TERROR 101 TERROR 101 TERROR 101
WHAT ARE B-
MOVIES?
B-movies have had a huge influence on
modern filmmaking. Although critics have never
given them proper credit, audiences have always
known instinctively that the B in b-movie
promises movies at their Basic best. Today, the
term b-movie means any low-budget film, or
even any film that is panned by the critics, but it
has a much more illustrious past.
Initially, b-movies (or bottom films) got
their name because they acted as filler, produced
by the major studios to provide the secondary
film of a double feature. They were also called
B because their budgets were restricted. When
the cinemas opened up to smaller studios and
independent filmmakers, the term b-movie
evolved to refer to indie films. But b-movies
have existed almost as long as movies in general.
The term has come to encompass all the phases of
its history.
B-movies are all about doing more with
less. B-movies are where untested writers,
directors, and actors paid their dues, where fading
stars and filmmakers return when the last embers
of their fame lose their glow.
B-movies often arise from controversy,
and disagreements over themes, quality, and
talent. B-movies are an experimental lab where
themes and genres bubble together, directed
consciously and subconsciously.
The lines between B-Horror, Horror, and
Spoof Horror genres became blurred over time.
Many people think horror is almost guaranteed to
be B-quality, and studios produce few straight
horrors. Most horror movies have too much
comic relief to be at all frightening. Even with
laughs thrown in, most horror movies arent b-
movies because the laughs are deliberate, and b-
movie humour is primarily inadvertent. Spoofs of
the horror genre are even further from b-movies.
The intention is comedy rather than horror and
the creepy atmosphere is mere window dressing.
Sometimes the genre convention of a
protagonists vulnerability and normalcy is
dropped altogether and the hero is quite powerful
and able to defeat whole armies. Most of the time
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very ordinary people are pitted against great odds,
only to succeed through implausible
happenstance.
This game can duplicate any horror
movie that follows the genre conventions, but
works best with true-to-form b-movie style
material. In RPG-13 B-Movie Game System,
ordinary people go up against frightening beings
under less than ideal circumstances and triumph
due to a series of unlikely breaks. The game
mechanics encourage things to turn to schlock
despite a straight-faced approach.
WHAT IS
ROLE-
PLAYING?
There is a growing sentiment in gaming
today that a good group can make any game into
a good game and that the rules and the world
background dont matter. This is true but really
misses the point. We pay money for a game so
that someone else can do all of the work of
making a game that runs smoothly and is well
researched. If you have to do all that yourself you
have wasted your money. The fact that a good
group can save a crappy game does not matter.
Someone paid money so he would not have to do
everything himself. If he has to spend all his time
fixing a bad product instead of making a great
one shine, he has been conned out of his money.
A role-playing game is primarily a labour
saving device like anything else you buy. I buy
shoes so I don't have to learn how to make them
and then go to all the trouble of doing it once I
know. I buy bread so I don't have to make it
myself. It doesnt matter that I know how to make
bread. I dont want to have to do it twice a week.
There are other things I would rather do. When I
buy a game it is so I dont have to design one
from scratch. Although I can make any game fun
for my players I choose to buy games where that
is easy instead of hard and where my energy can
be better spent. This game was tailored to do
what it does better than anything that was not
designed for exactly the same style of play and I
am confident it accomplishes its goals. For
playing in a b-movie style, I believe nothing is a
better labour saving device than this book.
But what is a role-playing game really?
Role-playing is a very curious sort of gaming.
There is no board and there are no pieces; the
rulebook is as thick as a 30-year-old freshman
and there are no winners, losers, or even a finish
line. Role-playing is a recreation and a form of
play but isnt really a type of gaming at all. If you
define game as a competition with a set
structure and a well-defined beginning and end,
role-playing doesnt have any of these defining
traits.
Role-playing is sometimes compared to
the theatre. Most plays have set characters,
scenes, lines, and sets, with actors bringing life to
a predetermined drama. Role-playing isnt quite
so pre-defined. If anything, its closer to group
improvisation, although not as freeform. There
are set roles, an outlined plot, and firm guidelines
for resolving any questions where success is
uncertain.
If role-playing games arent identical to
any of the most obvious influences, what are
they? Why has this so-called explanation only
made it harder to understand the games and failed
to draw a picture of how they work? It is
important to know why role-playing lacks the
elements it lacks before a full explanation can be
given.
Role-playing is almost entirely verbal.
The Victims of Circumstance, the name given to
the players of B-Movie, are imaginary and the
action takes place entirely in the imaginations of
the players. That is why no board or game pieces
are necessary.
Role-playing is based on teamwork. The
players are there to have fun and to direct the
roles they play in a spirit of co-operation towards
positive goals. The fun doesnt come from the
adrenaline of competition but from the joy of
watching a story develop. That is why there are
no points, no winners, and no losers.
Role-playing games are segmented into
episodic storylines. An individual story only takes
a session or two to play out, but the chain of
stories that are connected by the same central
characters can last indefinitely. Like soap operas,
the story only really ends when the producers
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cancel the program. That is why these games
have the reputation for lasting forever.
Game designers like to include guidelines
for every conceivable eventuality. The rules are
not meant to be oppressive, but to offer
suggestions based on play experience for
situations that the players may not have
encountered before. RPG-13 B-Movie Game
System is very simple and the rules dont require
a lot of in-depth knowledge, but they cover all the
likely events thoroughly. The impossibility of
covering every detail clearly is the reason why
some games look like telephone books and read
like technical manuals.
At least one of the people playing should
have read the rules a minimum of once before
playing, but everyone else can be taught in a
matter of minutes. It is easy to learn as you go
and it becomes much smoother every time you
play. Games seem a lot harder to learn than they
really are, even if the rulebooks dwarf those of
board games.
Ultimately, role-playing games are
inspired by games, theatre, and improvisation.
They are recreational, involve set roles and basic
plot outlines, and give the participants a great
deal of control over the flow of events. The
participation is social, the activity fun, and the
goals are co-operative.
One of the participants is an impartial
judge, or referee, who resolves any disputes and
guides the story along. In RPG-13 B-Movie
Game System he is called The Evil Mastermind
(EM), and he portrays every role except those
created by the other participants. Everyone else
playing the game is a player. Each player creates
a single character a role that s/he plays for the
purposes of the game known as a Victim of
Circumstance.
Each time players gather for a session of
play, they are involved in an individual story.
Each story called a Misadventure can take one
or more of these sessions to play out. The
ongoing story of the Misadventures that the
Victims of Circumstance find themselves in is
known as a Diary. This Diary can be never-
ending and is linked merely by the fact that the
group playing is more or less consistent, even if
some players drop out or join over time. A close
parallel to this structure might be a television
series with continuing characters, or a series of
films based on one or more central characters.
The Evil Mastermind can invent whatever
s/he wants and the EMs rulings must be
respected. The things the EM invents should be
consistent with the setting and s/he should be
consistent and fair when dealing with disputes
over rules interpretation. But the final decision
rests with the EM.
To be effective, the EM should be familiar
enough with the game to handle this job without
too much trouble.
Players should not run their Victims of
Circumstance as people who are in a movie and
aware of their position. RPG-13 B-Movie Game
System is not a spoof of this kind; it requires
mock solemnity from its players. There must be a
division between what a player knows and what
the Victim s/he portrays knows. The Evil
Mastermind must also respect this division when
s/he portrays the other characters in the game.
The EM should not describe the scenes as if there
were cameras, lights, and microphones filming
the action just out of sight.
Role-playing is fairly straightforward and
can be picked up easily after a few minutes of
feeling self-conscious are forgotten. Over time
there is endless scope for improvement and
refinement. RPG-13 B-Movie Game System
rewards regular play.
WHAT IS B-
MOVIE
ROLE-
PLAYING?
Some games are cinematic and others ask
you to portray movie actors who themselves take
on roles. Other games are realistic and still
others try to please everyone. RPG-13 B-Movie
Game System is a bit different.
Cinematic games attempt to capture the
feel of some of the more important genre
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conventions, but are really about softening
combat rules to more of a Hollywood level.
Wounds are less crippling and heroes can defend
against many foes at a time without trouble. It is
more important to be capable than grisly and
these rules dont pretend to duplicate the real
world. This works well in combat games but there
is more to duplicating movies than this.
In Theatrical games, one takes on the role
of an idealised actor who assumes a new role
every time out. It works well when handled
properly, and with the right genre, and is intended
to take the cinematic feel to its extreme.
Theatrical games protect the main figures from
harm because, although their roles might be killed
off, the actor just returns in a new role next
time. This works well for high energy action
games that are inherently exciting but can drain
the tension from other genres.
Games that aim for realism should make
the suspension of disbelief easy, and be grim and
exciting due to the vulnerability of the heroes, but
they often dont. These games can be too slow,
clunky, and difficult to feel exciting and that may
disrupt the flow of role-playing. They can,
therefore, make it painfully obvious youre
playing a game.
Anything that aims to handle everything
will be a jack-of-all-trades and master of none.
Games cannot escape the feel of their own
mechanics; so no matter how much the game can
handle, it will all have a similar feel that will
work better for some things than others.
The RPG-13 B-Movie Game System will
capture the feel of the genre conventions for the
background I present. Each game will pay
extreme attention to these clichs and traditions,
because that is what characterises B films most
of all.
Conflict is cinematic, but with a twist. It
will be very difficult to buy the farm, but easy to
be knocked senseless. Some genres focus on very
human heroes, but b-movies are not actual
comedies and so the tension cannot be drained
away by removing the lethality altogether.
RPG-13 B-Movie Game System games
pay close attention to detail, but dont try to
duplicate reality slavishly. The rules concentrate
on the feel of play, rather than the duplication of a
genres more superficial factors.
The RPG-13 B-Movie Game System
series also tries to cover many backgrounds
without falling into the trap of generic games.
With more universal games, it is necessary to do
a lot of work oneself or to spend money on a
supplement. The advantage is that only a few new
rules have to be learned and not a whole new
system. Each RPG-13 B-Movie Game System
book uses the same rules with a few necessary
changes and different advice, so although the
games are separate, you dont have to learn a
whole new set of rules each time.
The RPG-13 B-Movie Game System
gives you a very broad genre with each set of
genre rules, each paying special attention to four
genres within the broad scope of the game. The
RPG-13 B-Movie Game System line covers
dozens of topics in several books. This book has
the Core Rules and the Horror Genre Rules. The
expansion books will have genre rules of their
own that tie into the Core Rules in this book and
provide very good value without the blandly
identical feel of universal system supplements.
Buying a good game for each genre
covered by role-playing games would cost
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hundreds of dollars, but it is impossible to try
every genre that is of interest. Getting four genres
in one book makes it easy to try backgrounds that
interest you but that you dont like enough to buy
a whole new game to try. The genres in each
book appeal to similar tastes. People will tend to
like it all if it appeals to them. Because of the
similarities, some of the advice can be shared and
the expansions get a lot of space dedicated to
them because they tie into the Core Rules here
and dont spread themselves too thinly.
TERRIBLE
TRUTHS
Games too often make for dull reading. A
lot of time is spent studying the rules. They
shouldnt put you to sleep. I have spent more time
reading certain games than playing them.
The rules for B-Movie are written in a
light style so they will be entertaining to read.
However, the potentially humorous tone of the
rules is not supposed to carry over into the game.
The game is supposed to be run deadpan and it is
designed so that its descent into hilarity will be as
inadvertent as it is inevitable. Play should be
funny and the rules should have you laughing
continuously, but the game is not intended as a
spoof.
The game includes so many genre
conventions that what you originally construct as
a true horror, and play with a straight face, will
gain b status during play. Running the game as
horror and developing all the creepy mood and
gory detail you can stand will be much more
effective than playing everything for laughs. The
horror shouldnt be more x-rated than the
players can handle and the over the top style
shouldnt be silly, but there isnt much more to it.
Make sure everyone playing has a good
idea of the RPG-13 B-Movie Game System
approach, the style that everyone else is playing,
and the era in which the game is set (almost
always the present day, but not necessarily see
below). Each player should be walked through
the sections, Dicing with Death, Challenges,
and Pushing Your Luck at minimum and have
the other sections in Playing the Game
described during play as situations arise. Guide
each player through making a Victim of
Circumstance and skim through all the steps in
The Victims section.
Gamers have known for a long time that
role-playing is your window into new worlds.
Window sellers have taught us double-glazing
saves energy. Those of us who have taken both
sources to heart realise that having two or more
copies of the book when you play will save a lot
of energy and aggravation. Of course, if the same
poor sod has to fork out for both copies it can
create a lot of aggravation, so any expenses
should be shared. In the end you only need the
one book so dont feel forced to buy more unless
you would really find it helpful.
When play is about to start, emphasise the
fact that the style of the genre is important.
Everyone in RPG-13 B-Movie Game System is a
regular person, and is basically good. No matter
how gruff and mean they may act, all the central
figures in RPG-13 B-Movie Game System are
proactive and more or less altruistic. The game is
quick to learn and everything can be picked up
during the first couple of sessions. Aside from the
basics I have just described, play can begin
almost immediately.
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PLAYING PLAYING PLAYING PLAYING
WITH WITH WITH WITH
PANACHE PANACHE PANACHE PANACHE
A TRYING TIME
Giving Your Best: Players have a
perennial problem. It is easy to find players most
of the time, but hard to find people who can run a
game well. Evil Masterminds are harder to find
than players, especially those happy to run
something that isnt one of the top three games
that year. When you find an Evil Mastermind that
you like, try to show him you appreciate his
efforts and help make the game run smoothly
where you can. Make the effort and you should
find the game more fun, too. A playing group can
stay together a very long time when it runs like a
well-oiled machine.
Winning: In most games giving your
all means trying hard to win. However, role-
playing games (RPGs) are co-operative rather
than competitive. Players dont compete with
each other; they dont even really compete
against the EM. As much as the EM should be
respected (perhaps even feared), only the Creeps
and Victims are at odds.
Winning in a RPG comes from playing in
a way that is memorable and, if all players have a
lot of fun without disrupting each other, the
experience will be memorable.
You are winning if you stay true to the
character of your Victim of Circumstance, even if
it means your VC Buys the Farm.
In RPG-13 B-Movie Game System, a
Victim wont do what is sensible or realistic.
However, once you establish what makes sense
for your Victim inside the genre conventions, you
should run with it. Action and excitement have
more impact when you care about the person
involved so you are concerned for his welfare.
Remember Why You Do It: The whole
point of the RPG hobby is recreation. This point
is simplehave fun. If you are about to join a
new group, ask what their particular style is.
Make sure you are compatible with everyone
elses personality and playing style. Most people
find it easy enough to get along with each other
most of the time and some discussion before play
can prevent misunderstandings.
Dont Take Things Personally:
Sometimes the Evil Mastermind or other players
will make a mistake and cause your Victim to Buy
the Farm. They may even do it deliberately due
to a mad lust to stay in their given roles. Try not
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to get too upset and dont take it out on everyone
else if you are angry.
Especially in a game like Scared Stiff,
Victims of Circumstance can Buy the Farm or Go
Mental. That is why they are called Victims. Shed
a quiet tear and move on. The EM is pledged to
watch over each Victim unless his player really
asks for it.
The biggest arguments arise when other
players direct their Victims in such a way that
your Victim Buys the Farm. There is only one
valid excuse for any deliberately callous acts
directed from one Victim toward another and that
is role-playing. There are times when a player
feels his VC wouldnt act in any other way, no
matter how much he wishes there were another
way. Of course, the EM should be declaring
Victims Scumbags wherever they are really bad,
but this is small consolation to those who have
Bought the Farm.
Players of mean Victims should always be
reminded that they were the ones to determine
personality and outlook for their VC and that it
was their choice. Anytime a player justifies
himself by saying: Thats just how my VC is,
you, as the EM can reply with Who decided
that? As much as a player should never bend in
playing his Victim well, it should be remembered
that, even if he doesnt have a choice in play, he
did have a choice before play began. Ultimately,
players are always responsible for the actions of
their Victims, one way or another.
Try To Pay Attention: It is hard to pay
attention all of the time, but a lot of players find it
saves time to listen carefully even when they are
not involved directly. It is not that very many
people go as far as to watch TV, play video
games, doodle, chat, read, or spronk the groink
during sessions. Often your Victim will have
anything he missed recapped and it will be easier
if you were listening. The other players can just
say: We explain, rather than sitting down and
stopping play for a blow-by-blow description.
Make Careful Calculations: Not too
many players will deliberately fudge numbers to
cheat, but some can be a bit careless in their
calculations. Try to be accurate wherever possible
and not to be too critical of others who make
periodic mistakes.
CONFOUNDING
CONFLICTS
Powers of the Evil Mastermind:
Although the EM should not make rules changes
without informing the players ahead of time, it is
entirely up to the EM to interpret the spirit of the
rules. A player should never try to catch the EM
on a legal technicality and expect to overrule
decisions using the strict letter of the rules. This
game requires a lot of quick thinking and
interpretation of rules to adapt to situations the
game designers could never have predicted. No
EM should be held to the exact wording of the
rules. EMs should use the spirit of the rules to
ensure that all situations are dealt with fairly.
Quick comments, pleas, and queries
should never be allowed to develop into
arguments that disrupt play. Any disagreements
should be left until after the session is over. Only
if a Victim is about to Buy the Farm should a case
be made on the spot.
Having different levels of insight into
what is really happening causes the most common
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point of misunderstanding between the EM and
the players. Sometimes things will happen that
dont appear to make sense, and the reason will
be that the Victims cannot see everything that is
going on. Perhaps if something seems strange,
there is more to a situation than meets the eye. A
good EM should make it clear that there may be
more to discover rather than playing coy.
The rules exist primarily as a means of
arbitrating conflicts between fictional characters
run by the players and EM. A small measure of
maturity is all it takes to arbitrate conflicts arising
between the players and EM regarding the use of
the rules.
MURDEROUS
MOTIVES
Role-players enjoy excitement most
often generated by conflict within the story line
but may disagree on the type of conflict they
prefer. There are those who like role-playing with
some action and those who scream for action and
a bit of role-playing a difference between those
who like personality conflicts and those who
prefer physical conflicts.
No matter how you put a story together,
there is a framework: a protagonist wishes to do,
or to prevent, something and an antagonist wants
the efforts to fail. The Spots centre around
obstacles the protagonist must confront on the
way to success. If all the players are willing to
compromise, most games make it easy to add
both personality conflicts and physical
confrontations.
RPG-13 B-Movie Game System is
modelled on a genre of fiction that requires a
healthy mix of both styles of opposition. It is
necessary to throw all manner of problems at the
Victims of Circumstance and to endanger the
Innocent Bystanders in as many new and
interesting ways as possible. By choosing this
game, over others that provide only one conflict
style or the other, the players have already
decided they can handle a blend. There should be
few problems.
DEVILISH
DEPTH
Your granny knits, your mom does cross-
stitch, your dad likes model trains and you role-
play. What do they all have in common? They all
require a combination of technical and creative
skill. Although they are hobbies, mastering them
takes determination, effort, and attention to detail.
The reward you get is as much fun as you can
handle.
When players create Victims of
Circumstance, they should not try to make the
most capable Victim that the rules will allow
them. Nor should they always make the same old
thing, each time.
RPG-13 B-Movie Game System is
supposed to be about clichs played deadpan.
Although you use Stereotypes, you might try
different ones each time you make a Victim and
you should add enough to your Victims
personality so that he doesnt bore you later on
down the road.
Each player should be familiar with his
Victim of Circumstance. He should know what
the more important details off by heart before too
long and what the information about his Victim
means. He should remember the information
regarding his Victims personality and looks well
enough to play things out in a way that he finds
plausible.
It is also helpful to understand the game
reasonably well by reading the more important
rules over before play. A player should
understand the genre and setting well enough to
make decisions that are appropriate. He should
also have enough of a grasp of the basic rules he
needs to do things. Even when you have been
playing for a while, it is useful to re-read the
basics occasionally.
No player should act as though the Victim
of Circumstance has access to all the knowledge
that the player has. The player might be sitting
right next to the other players and know what is
happening to each group of Victims when
everyone is split up, but the Victim he is
4
portraying does not have that awareness. The
player should not engineer cheap, contrived
coincidences to justify his Victim travelling
somewhere based on information he is not
supposed to have!
Depth comes from small personality
quirks and the little things a player does. Victims
of Circumstance become memorable for their odd
habits and curious mannerisms or expressions.
Such quirks should not be beaten to death in play
by making them obsessive-compulsive habits, but
appropriate use regularly enough to evoke a
sense of the Victim is wise. A little bit of
thought about why a Victim has those habits can
also be useful.
Even where the mechanics can be used to
resolve things, players should aim for drama and
make things fun. A little imagination, creativity,
and style can really go a long way. Just make sure
you feel your actions are plausible for your
Victim of Circumstance, appropriate to the game,
and within your Evil Masterminds ability to
handle.
Above all, make sure your mad desire to
be the best player you can doesnt keep you from
having fun. This isnt the army. Also make sure
your desire to play with wild abandon doesnt
make you hog the stage or give the EM a hernia.
Everyone else should have as much fun as you
do.
MALODOROUS
MAPS
RPG-13 B-Movie Game System doesnt
require or recommend maps. Role-playing games
evolved from miniature wargames, so it is only
natural that too many of them are fixated upon
maps. Having figures that represent the people in
the game move around maps in a tactical exercise
has its place, but that style is wrong for RPG-13
B-Movie Game System.
Miniatures are visually less impressive
than the wild imaginings of a group of typical
gamers; maps can act like a cage. Between the
two, imagination is restricted both in its ability
to evoke images of imaginary events and in its
talent for creative problem solving.
Although rough floor plans of buildings
can help the EM run the plots, it should be very
rough and never shared with the other players.
Sometimes, when there is general confusion and
everyone is picturing something slightly different,
you can draw a vague map so everyone can agree
on important points.
Writers can always plan a rooms contents
at the same time as planning a movie heros
escape, but role-playing games always require the
designer to predict the most likely solutions and
prepare for them. Whenever a group of players
tries something that hadnt been anticipated, the
game can Falter temporarily.
RPG-13 B-Movie Game System works
very differently. Whenever someone in RPG-13
B-Movie Game System comes up with a plan, or
faces an unforeseen eventuality, there is always
the opportunity to help define the surrounding
area further, just as a movie writer would. This
flexible approach to play can be very exciting, but
means that maps and figures cannot be well
defined ahead of time. Nothing should be
established precisely until it has to be.
The games method of defining reality
only insofar as its necessary can take a few tries
before you become proficient, but it also opens up
many possibilities. Instead of trying to guess what
solutions are anticipated and provided for, players
can help script and develop their own approach. It
is more fun exploring the possibilities this way
anyway.
1
PLAYING PLAYING PLAYING PLAYING
THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME
MALEVOLENT
MATERIALS
All you need to play this game are this
rulebook, some paper, a few pens and pencils and
possibly a pair of regular cubic dice with six sides
each. However, the game will go more smoothly if
each player has his or her own pair of dice. And,
while you could play it with just an Evil
Mastermind and one player, it will be more fun with
two or more players. Only the size of the room, the
number of chairs, and the EMs plot impose any
limit on the maximum number of players.
The Evil Mastermind may also wish to have
some graph paper, coloured pencils, and anything
else, which makes the EM feel special.
Snacks (both munchies and slurpies) are
always yummy and filled with sweet, sweet
goodness I mean, theyre recommended,
provided theyre nutritious and dont spoil supper.
TERRIBLE
TIMING
The game is mainly tracked in
Moments, Spots, and Misadventures, but may
also be tracked in days, months, years, decades
or centuries. Some parts of the game use Solar
Phases, Lunar Phases, Lunar Cycles, Seasons,
and Solar Cycles for dramatic effect.
Moments are a unit of measure equal to
precisely one fairly short length of time. This
can be seconds, but is occasionally as long as a
minute or two. It is never necessary to know
exactly.
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Spots refer to the situations Victims of
Circumstance find themselves in and the locations
that they are forced to tolerate during this time.
Spots are also an incredibly precise unit of measure.
Although they are short in duration, they last too
long to go by unnoticed and seem to take forever.
Victims are in Spots for anywhere from minutes to
hours; it doesnt matter much. Any time something
new is being done in a new place, the Victims are in
a different Spot.
Misadventures are synonymous with entire
plots, and last from the beginning of an evil scheme
to its end. They last exactly as long as they last.
That can be hours, days, weeks, or even months at
least from the perspective of the Victims.
In practice, Misadventures consist of the
multiple Spots in which Victims find themselves.
Each Spot can last for a number of Moments. These
three units should be enough to cover most
situations.
Solar Phases last one day (and night). Lunar
Phases last about three and a half days. Lunar
Cycles are about a month long. Seasons take about
three months. Solar Cycles take a whole year. Eras
and Ages are close to Centuries and Millennia,
respectively.
Real units of time such as seconds, minutes,
hours, days, months, years, decades, centuries and
millennia should be unnecessary.
BLIND FATE &
HAGGLING
Methods of Determining Success: Despite
Swedish filmmakers putting forth a good case for
playing chess to decide any matter where life is
endangered, the game designers decided upon dice
and haggling. They seemed so much quicker and
the alternative was too bleak, Scandinavian, and
overflowing with symbolic fish.
Dice or No Dice?: You could consider this
two games by some standards. It can be played
either using dice or as a diceless narrative. You can
even alternate. The Standard RPG-13 B-Movie
Game System uses dice and The Diceless RPG-13
B-Movie Game System is genuinely free of random
elements and uses no dice (or cards, coins, spinners
or stop watches either).
The EM and all of the players should
play the game the same way. Either everyone
plays it with dice or everyone plays it without.
The two methods are entirely compatible but
the flow works better if there isnt a mix of
styles happening on the same night. You could
use dice one session and no dice the next if
everyone did things the same way each session.
The Standard RPG-13 B-Movie Game
System is described in the Dicing with Death
section and The Diceless RPG-13 B-Movie
Game System is described in the No Dice
Bub section.
DICING WITH
DEATH
The Standard RPG-13 B-Movie Game
System uses dice (the alternative is The
Diceless RPG-13 B-Movie Game System as
discussed in Blind Fate & Haggling).
Rolling: The Standard RPG-13 B-
Movie Game System uses only regular, six-
sided dice such as are found in any board game.
The rules will refer to times when you must
try or attempt something and these efforts
require die rolls. Two dice are always rolled
unless noted otherwise. Whenever you roll two
dice, the result is the sum of the dice.
Types of Rolls: The two standard types
of rolls in The Standard RPG-13 B-Movie
Game System are those that attempt to
Overcome a Flaw and those that attempt to
Exploit a Flaw. These are called Flaw Rolls.
Overcoming and Exploiting Flaws:
Overcoming a Flaw is a simple process of
rolling more than the number representing the
Flaw on the dice. If the roll is a higher number
than the Flaw, then the Flaw is overcome and
the attempt is a success.
Grace Fuller is about to be lowered into
a vat of molten wax, so she can be
immortalized forever as the definitive Little Bo
Peep. Luckily, the madman who chained her up
has left the basement of the Wax Museum
because Graces friends eluded capture and he
3
wants to nab them right away. All Grace needs to
do is escape her shackles and jump off the platform
that is slowly descending into the hot wax. The EM
decides that she is obviously too weak to break the
shackles but that she might slip out of them if she
were flexible enough. He asks her to Overcome her
Clumsiness of 7. If she can roll more than 7, she
will succeed. The player picks up the dice and
hopes for an 8 to 12. One roll and a pair of sore
wrists later, Graces player rolls 8 and she slips free
and yells out a cheer at her success.
Exploiting a Flaw is a simple attempt to roll
equal to or lower than the number representing the
Flaw being Exploited. Any roll that is not higher
than the Flaw succeeds.
Creeps Exploit the Flaws of Victims,
Chumps, and Innocents. Creeps often have Flaw
Modifiers that make it easier or harder to Exploit
certain Flaws. These numbers add or subtract from
the Flaw for purposes of Exploitation and must be
remembered when you roll the dice.
Grace Fuller narrowly avoided being
lowered into a vat of molten wax. Unfortunately,
the madman who chained her up is returning to the
basement of the Wax Museum just as Grace is
looking around the room for a safe exit. As the
madman walks in the door, he sees Grace looking
around the room. He doesnt want Grace to get a
head start on him, so he decides to leap down the
stairs right away so he can be in a better position to
Chase her once she spots him. He has a Clumsiness
Modifier of +1 and has to Exploit Graces
Clumsiness of 7 in order to leap before Grace can
get a chance to run. The 7 Clumsiness plus the
Clumsiness of +1 makes for a total of 8. The EM
rolls 5 and, because that is within 2 to 8, he
succeeds. Instead of Grace running before the
madman can jump, he jumps first and Grace is able
to run from him only then.
Exploiting Yourself: There are a few
occasions when a Victim will need to Exploit one of
his own Flaws. This is handled as any other
instance of Exploiting a Flaw, in terms of the targets
but the player will be rolling instead of the EM
because it is he who is attempting the task.
Lumps Dished Out: In addition to a
number added for Weapons when they Dish Out
Lumps, a normal variable is also applied. In The
Standard RPG-13 B-Movie Game System this
amount is equal to one die roll worth of Lumps
(1to 6).
Results: A natural result refers to the
result that the die or dice showed before
anything was added or subtracted from that
initial result. A modified roll is one that was
altered by adding or subtracting one or more
numbers. Modified rolls are simply followed
by a + or - and the number to be added or
subtracted. A penalty is applied to the die roll
itself and so is each bonus. The word "result"
is also used as a generic term to refer to any,
and all, die rolls. To get a number also refers
to rolling the result.
NO DICE BUB
The Diceless RPG-13 B-Movie Game
System does not use dice (the alternative is The
Standard RPG-13 B-Movie Game System as
discussed in Blind Fate & Haggling).
Adding and Subtracting Misfortune:
The Diceless RPG-13 B-Movie Game System
uses no dice, cards, coins, spinners, or stop
watches. It is genuinely free of random
elements. The rules will refer to times when
you must try or attempt something and
these efforts require you to add Misfortune to
succeed (unless your Flaws are low enough to
succeed easily). The EM can try things as well
and he can alter his chances by subtracting your
Misfortune. The player and EM can alter each
others chances by bidding Misfortune against
each other.
Types of Haggling: The two standard
types of haggling in The Diceless RPG-13 B-
Movie Game System are those that attempt to
Overcome a Flaw and those that attempt to
Exploit a Flaw. These are called Flaw
Negotiations.
Overcoming Flaws: Overcoming a
Flaw is a simple process of trying to achieve a
result that is greater than the Flaw. You start
with a basic number equal to the lucky number
seven but you can make up the rest by adding
Misfortune, if desired. If the Flaw being used is
not already 7 or less after all bonuses, penalties,
general modifiers and Creep Flaw Modifiers
4
are applied, you fail whatever you are trying unless
you add a number of Misfortune equal to the
amount your adjusted Flaw is in excess of 7. You
do not have to add the Misfortune if you would
prefer to accept failure (such as in cases where your
Misfortune would be raised above 11).
If a player succeeds at whatever he was
doing, the Evil Mastermind can subtract two
Misfortune from the Victim to change the result to a
failure. The player may then decide to add 3
Misfortune in order to make the attempt a success
once again. If he does so, the EM may choose to
subtract 4 Misfortune from him to make it a failure
again. The player may then decide to add 5 to revert
it to a success. Each subsequent move in this tug-of-
war bidding must up the Misfortune traded by 1.
Grace Fuller is about to be lowered into a
vat of molten wax, so she can be immortalized
forever as the definitive Little Bo Peep. Luckily, the
madman who chained her up has left the basement
of the Wax Museum because Graces friends eluded
capture and he wants to nab them right away. All
Grace needs to do is escape her shackles and jump
off the platform that is slowly descending into the
hot wax. The EM decides that she is obviously too
weak to break the shackles but that she might slip
out of them if she were flexible enough. He asks her
to Overcome her Clumsiness of 7. Because there are
no adjustments to be made to her Clumsiness, she
succeeds easily because it is within her ability. The
EM chooses not to subtract Misfortune from Grace
to reverse her good fortune. A pair of sore wrists
later, Grace slips free and yells out a cheer at her
success.
Exploiting Flaws: Exploiting a Flaw is a
simple attempt to achieve a result that is equal to or
less than the Flaw. The EM starts with a basic
number equal to the lucky number seven but if your
Flaw is lower he can make up the difference by
subtracting an equal number from your Misfortune,
if he desires. If the Flaw being used is not already 7
or more after all bonuses, penalties, general
modifiers and Creep Flaw Modifiers are applied, he
fails whatever he is trying unless he subtracts a
number of Misfortune from you equal to the amount
your adjusted Flaw is below 7. He does not have to
subtract the Misfortune if he would prefer to accept
failure (or as in cases where your Misfortune would
be lowered below 1).
If the Evil Mastermind succeeds at
whatever he was doing, the player can add two
Misfortune from his total to change the result to
a failure. The EM may then decide to subtract 3
Misfortune from him in order to make the
attempt a success once again. If he does so, the
player may choose to add 4 Misfortune to make
it a success again. The Evil Mastermind may
then decide to subtract 5 from him to revert it
to a success. Each subsequent move in this tug-
of-war bidding must up the Misfortune traded
by 1.
Creeps Exploit the Flaws of Victims,
Chumps, and Innocents. Creeps often have
Flaw Modifiers that make it easier or harder to
Exploit certain Flaws. These numbers add or
subtract from the Flaw for purposes of
Exploitation and must be remembered.
Grace Fuller narrowly avoided being
lowered into a vat of molten wax.
Unfortunately, the madman who chained her up
is returning to the basement of the Wax
Museum just as Grace is looking around the
room for a safe exit. As the madman walks in
the door, he sees Grace looking around the
room. He doesnt want Grace to get a head start
on him, so he decides to leap down the stairs
right away so he can be in a better position to
Chase her once she spots him. He has a
Clumsiness Modifier of +1 and has to Exploit
Graces Clumsiness of 7 in order to leap before
Grace can get a chance to run. The 7
Clumsiness plus the Clumsiness of +1 makes
for a total of 8. The madman will easily
succeed. The player decides to add 2
Misfortune to Grace to make the result a
failure. The Evil Mastermind decides success is
worth subtracting 3 Misfortune from Grace. He
tells the player that. The player is not willing to
add 4 Misfortune in order to make the Evil
Mastermind fail at what he tried so he declines
further bidding. The madman still succeeds.
Instead of Grace running before the madman
can jump, he jumps first and Grace is able to
run from him only then. At least the player has
many fewer Misfortune due to smart play.
Exploiting Yourself: There are a few
occasions when a Victim will need to Exploit
one of his own Flaws. This is handled as any
5
other instance of Exploiting a Flaw, in terms of the
targets but the player will be adding Misfortune
instead of having the EM subtract it from him
because it is he who is attempting the task.
Likewise, in any bidding that might come
afterwards, the EM will be the one contesting
success (as if it were an attempt to Overcome the
Flaw), instead of the player.
Lumps Dished Out: In addition to a
number added for Weapons when they Dish Out
Lumps, a normal variable is also applied. In The
Diceless RPG-13 B-Movie Game System this
amount is equal to 3 Lumps plus 1 more for every
point of Misfortune the EM subtracts from the
Victim hit.
If the Evil Mastermind uses Misfortune to
add more than 3 Lumps, the player can add two
Misfortune per Lump he wishes to deduct from this
total (which can fall below 3 to a minimum of 1).
The EM may then decide to subtract 3 Misfortune
per Lump to restore the Lumps. If he does so, the
player may choose to add 4 Misfortune per Lump to
remove Lumps again. The Evil Mastermind may
then decide to subtract 5 per Lump from him to
revert it to a success. Each subsequent move in this
tug-of-war bidding must up the Misfortune
traded per Lump by 1.
Results: A natural result refers to the
goal of 7 before anything was added or
subtracted from that initial result. A modified
target is one that was altered by adding or
subtracting one or more numbers. Modified
targets are simply followed by a + or - and
the number to be added or subtracted. A
penalty is applied to the starting point of 7
itself and so is each bonus. The word "result"
is also used as a generic term to refer to any,
and all, totals (with Misfortune and other
adjustments if any). To get a number refers to
the same thing as finding the result.
SCUMBAGS
Scumbags are not really a unique type
of person like Victims, Chumps, Innocents, or
Creeps. They are actually more of an aberrant
variety of Victim.
Scumbags have been characterized as
dark, avenging Victims. Their brooding,
vengeful natures have been psychoanalyzed to
death. In reality, they are neither romantic
figures nor complex ones; they are simply
jerks.
Creeps, however misguided or
demented, hate jerks as much as the rest of us.
That is why Scumbags rate high on the list of
favourite entrees for most Creeps. Food just
goes down better when youre satisfied that the
Victim had it coming.
Scumbag Penalties: Whenever a
Victim of Circumstance is thinking, talking, or
acting in a way that could be construed as being
mean, heartless, or insensitive, the EM has the
option of forcing the Victim to immediately add
a point of Misfortune.
Being a Scumbag can be achieved either
through commission or omission. Not
preventing a death can be heartless, too, you
know. The only people who dont add
Misfortune from being a Scumbag are Kids.
Sometimes Kids can be very cruel and they
always get away with it. Cest la vie; thats life.
Some of you may be wondering why I
included thinking in the formula above. The
6
reason is simple. The player is the subconscious of
the Victim. Although a player might do something
that he claims the Victim isnt doing, the EM can
say that the Victim was thinking it on some level
because the player did or said something mean. Its
called latent aggression, and its bad. Remember,
cruelty belongs in the schoolyard and not on
Misadventures.
Ultimate Punishments: Anyone who
reaches 12 Misfortune due to being a Scumbag
should disappear mysteriously at the next
opportunity. Of course, anyone who was that mean
before this horrible accident could easily return as a
Creep later. Then again, the world isn't that cruel, is
it?
Making an Effort: Another important fact
of the game is that Victims behave actively rather
than passively during the Misadventure. It is not
enough to go through the motions.
If a Victim does not act appropriately the
Creeps start to confuse them with Innocent
Bystanders. You know what that means; the dinner
gong sounds.
Every time a Victim obviously isnt
bothering, s/he should add +1 Misfortune. The
Victim doesnt have to be braver, stupider, and less
sceptical than his Flaws or Background indicate,
s/he just shouldnt be played on autopilot. This
provision is really against players who cant be
bothered. It should not be used to make the players
play their Victims inappropriately or to punish
players that are ill, absent or exhausted.
Misfortune can also be handed out when
Victims act too cautiously, too often no matter
how wise it might seem for them to do so.
Occasionally, Victims will need to be spurred on. To
behave in genre they should follow the trail of
blood, go out alone, and otherwise act unwisely. If
the Creeps start treating them like Innocent
Bystanders because they are always just standing
around, they deserve to be pork chops. Just
remember to bring enough applesauce for the whole
class.
CHALLENGES
Mental and Physical Challenges: A
Victim of Circumstance or Innocent faces a
Challenge whenever s/he is called upon to do
something. Victims are Mentally Challenged
when required to use their brains and
Physically Challenged when in need of brawn.
The Mentally Challenged must Overcome their
Ignorance to succeed, while the Physically
Challenged must Overcome their Clumsiness.
Other Challenges: The above covers
all skill-related tasks, but not every
Challenge can be handled this way.
Miscellaneous tasks are based on the most
appropriate Flaw.
Someone faced with such an
undertaking is Uniquely Challenged.
Examples: moving a large boulder would be
based on Overcoming Weakness; running
quickly requires Overcoming Clumsiness;
remembering a small detail requires
Overcoming Ignorance In fact, most actions
are covered by their own rules, as you will see.
Stereotype Challenges: Each
Stereotype is considered to be especially able
to do certain things. Victims can do anything
that could be done by a typical person who is
trained in the same field. As long as you can
Overcome the Flaw connected to the Challenge
you will succeed. Your Stereotype will also
improve your chances at related Challenges.
If training is necessary to know how to
perform a task, but that expertise is not
provided by your career, you cannot succeed.
Divide your Flaw by 2 (round up) if your
career does provide the knowledge to meet the
challenge resulting from the problem at hand.
Even though most Stereotypes could not
attempt the task at all, the bonus still applies
because it is routine for members of that
Stereotype.
Deciding Stereotypical Challenges: A
Victim receives the benefits of his or her
Stereotype literally anytime s/he can
bamboozle the EM into agreeing that s/he
would be familiar with the task at hand. If a
Victim has an especially rich background, or
gets the sudden urge to expand this background
7
information, the EM may even be willing to allow
the Victim to claim familiarity with subjects
unconnected to his Stereotype. (Yes, Im a farmer,
but when I went to Agricultural College, I also took
chemistry and joined several radical movements, so
thats why I know how to make a bomb out of
fertilizer.)
Special Stereotype Challenges:
Stereotypes have been defined as enabling Victims
and Innocents to, do anything that could be done
by a typical person who is trained in the same
field, but that statement needs more qualification.
In the case of any Challenge that is covered by a
Victims Stereotype, but outside the bounds of the
routine tasks generally performed by members of
that Stereotype, the Flaw is not divided by 2. The
benefit that the Stereotype gives the Victim or
Innocent is that s/he may attempt the task.
Otherwise, s/he cannot make the attempt AT ALL.
The design and assembly of Gadgets are the
main area where this rule comes into play (Scared
Stiff uses Gadgets but not all RPG-13 B-Movie
Game System Genre Rules do). For example:
anyone who is not a Doctor is barred from even
attempting the tasks normal for a Doctor. When a
Doctor performs routine (i.e., most) medical tasks
s/he may divide Ignorance by 2. But, when the
Doctor is acting at the cutting edge of the
profession and attempting to perform extraordinary
tasks, s/he loses the bonus.
Very Stereotypical Challenges:
Remember, too, that different Stereotypes have
different Driving skills. In Scared Stiff, for
instance, Mafia Goons only get their bonus while
driving black American-made sedans, Taxi Drivers
can drive skilfully any wheeled vehicle except
taxicabs, and Hillbillies receive their bonus only if
driving pickup trucks. Other skills may be similarly
limited so as to be more stereotypical.
Sporking: The players are encouraged to do
what they can to convince the EM that their Victims
would be able to have greater familiarity with many
of the tasks in front of them, and they are required
to develop their backgrounds as a consequence.
Despite this, some players will insist on going
overboard when arguing that they would have
improved chances and they may not even put a lot
of effort into finding good reasons. The EMs
judgment is final in all cases like this and the EM
should feel free to just say NO!
The desire to be a master of all trades and a
jack of none is called Sporking. The player wants
his or her Victim of Circumstance to be a great
fork and an accomplished spoon all at once in
other words, a spork. A wise EM will realize
that the wannabe master of all trades will be a
jackass with no trade! Simply explain to the
player that s/he is sporking and cant be good
at everything. Alternately, you could deny the
ludicrous attempt at trying to make the task at
hand a Stereotypical Challenge and simply
laugh, derisively.
PUSHING
YOUR LUCK
There are times when it is crucial that
things go your way. When a Creep is throttling
you in the mad scientists lab, wouldnt it be
nice if your hand reached back and just
happened to grab the sulphuric acid? When
youre two inches tall and stranded on a table,
wouldnt it be just dandy for a fisherman to
happen along and put his fishing line down
beside you?
The answer to both of the above
questions is, of course, yes. What exactly are
the odds that grandpas medication is made up
of exactly the chemicals needed to complete
your Gadget? The EM may permit these
incredibly fortunate coincidences, provided
you are willing to Push Your Luck.
Determining Misfortune Added: The
amount of Misfortune to be added from
Pushing Your Luck depends on the likelihood
of the event. The player will ask, "What is the
chance that [insert jejune notion here]?" The
EM must answer:
Slim (1 point)
Fat (2 points)
None (0 points)
The number listed next to the degree of
likelihood is the amount of Misfortune added
from Pushing Your Luck. If the EM says
none there is no chance that what you hope
for can happen. There is no Misfortune added,
no need to try, and no hope of success. If the
EM says there is a Slim chance, 1 Misfortune
is added for any attempt to Push Your Luck. If
8
he says there is a Fat chance, 2 Misfortune must
be added. The EM must determine the degree of
likelihood based on how reasonable the request
seems. Does he feel the player is asking for a little,
a lot or too much? If the request sounds like
something that will add to everyones enjoyment of
the game without actually disrupting the feel you
like, the EM should assess better odds.
High Misfortune: You must be careful not
to accumulate Misfortune too quickly, because
when you reach 12, you meet with a grisly not to
mention permanent accident. Dont worry,
though. Heaven is big.
How to Push Your Luck: To successfully
Push Your Luck, you must add 1 or 2 points of
Misfortune for your trouble and then Overcome
your new, improved, Misfortune. These points are
not temporary. The added points of Misfortune are
added regardless of whether or not you get lucky.
Whats more, everyone who the EM feels
directly benefited from your lucky break should
also add 1 point of Misfortune.
Misfortune is added because your luck is
presumed to be a diminishing resource. The more
often you attempt to use it, the less likely you are to
succeed and the more dangerous it becomes to rely
on luck to survive (just like real life). However, if
you do get lucky enough so that reality goes your
way, your Victims life will improve in the way you
had hoped.
Pushing Your Luck for Innocents: It is
possible to Push Your Luck to benefit an Innocent
Bystander. This works just as if you were doing it
on your own behalf. Remember that the main
Misfortune add (and 1 extra point if you also
benefited from the Innocents luck) gets added to
your total.
Penalties for Not Helping Innocents: If
you choose not to help an Innocent, and the EM
decides you have been a Scumbag, you add twice
the points you would have if you had Pushed Your
Luck and saved the Innocent (yes, sometimes life
requires us to make hard choices). If you have been
so penalized, its too late to change your mind. You
do not now get to Push Your Luck on the Innocents
behalf. Sometimes being a hero really sucks, but
thats the way it crumbles, cookie-wise.
When Creeps Push Your Luck: Worst of
all, Creeps can Push Your Luck. The EM usually
only does this to defend a Creep against the efforts
of the Victims. Furthermore, the Victim whose
Misfortune is being Exploited must be the same one
that the Creep is most directly confronting. The
Creep cannot always choose the same little
leprechaun, while the other Victims get
maimed.
Creeps Push Your Luck nearly the same
way you would. The difference is the Creep
doesnt have to tryl to Overcome (or Exploit)
your Misfortune. The Creep automatically
succeeds, and whatever he had hoped for
happens. He then simply subtracts 1-2 points
from your Misfortune, depending on the
number listed beside the appropriate chance of
likelihood.
CHASING
CHICKENS
Normal Travel: Movement is abstract
and can take as much playtime as necessary.
Generally, the EM can take the Victims'
successful attempts to get from place to place
for granted. Movement is only truly important
when someone is being Chased.
Stretches: Distance in RPG-13 B-
Movie Game System is measured in Stretches,
provided the journey is short. True journeys
can be taken for granted.
Distance Between You and the
Creeps: In a Chase, the EM must declare how
many Stretches the Victims and Innocents are
ahead of the Creep. A Stretch is a unit of
measure equalling precisely one fairly short
distance. A Stretches figure of 5 will usually
9
produce an exciting Chase Spot. This Stretches
figure represents how far apart the Creeps and
Victims are.
Distance to Destinations: The EM must
also decide how far away the nearest place to "hole
up" will be. The number listed to the left of the
Distance given represents the number of tries which
the Creeps will receive before the VC arrive. If the
Creeps can catch the Victims, or at least close the
distance in the number of tries given, they will be
that much closer to lunch.
1) Near.
2) Not Too Far.
3) A While Away.
4) Quite Far.
5) Across Town.
Vehicle Chases: Chases are slightly
different when vehicles are involved, but the
principles are the same. Unlike dogs, Creeps hate
chasing cars, but they will do what they have to in a
nights labours. A strong work ethic is hard to find
these days, but Creeps provide a strong example
and maintain old-fashioned values.
This section assumes the vehicle being
Chased is a car, truck, van, motorcycle, moped, or
similar motorized conveyance. Motor vehicles can
prevent a Chase altogether, or reduce the number of
Stretches to 1, depending on the Vehicle. Driving a
motor vehicle will limit Creeps to only one try for
Distance to Exploit the Clumsiness of the Victims
and reduce the number of Stretches between them.
It will be as if any location in town was Near.
(See page __)
Conducting Car Chases: If the Creep
successfully Exploits the Clumsiness of his Victim,
he reduces the number of Stretches by 1 before
the car zooms away and the Chase ends. Victims
will have a little less time to catch their breath. If
the Creep Exploited both the highest Clumsiness
and the highest Misfortune of those in the Vehicle,
the Creep gets hold of the vehicle. Creepy can then
hitch a ride, or pick it up if s/he is big enough.
1) Near, Not Too Far, A While Away,
Quite Far or Across Town.
The Crashing & Smashing and Scurrilous
Scuffles sections have rules for attempts to break
into the vehicle and start a fight. See page ___.
Horse Chases: Creeps may hate chasing
cars, but horses are yummier and far less work.
Chases are slightly different when horses are
involved, but the principles are the same. Horses
(and donkeys, mules, camels, llamas, or anything
else you ride that breathes or that is not too
fast) are vehicles, albeit that they sometimes
have minds of their own. You could, of course,
add bicycles built for two, powered or
unpowered go-carts, roller blades, skateboards,
snowboards, toboggans, sleighs, bobsleds, or
weirder modes of personal travel. Go ahead. I
dare you.
Horses are much faster than people and
can limit the Distance of a Horse Chase.
If a horse is being ridden, two tries for
Distance are subtracted from the number
granted to the Creep. The number to the left of
the distance given is the number of tries now
used.
1) Near, Not Too Far, or A While
Away.
2) Quite Far.
3) Across Town.
If a horse is pulling a wagon, buggy,
carriage, sleigh, or coach, one try for Distance
is subtracted from the number granted to the
Creep. The number to the left of the distance
given is the number of tries now used.
1) Near or Not Too Far.
2) A While Away.
3) Quite Far.
4) Across Town.
Trains, Planes & Automobiles: Trains
are unlikely vehicles for a Chase, because once
you board one, the Chase is over unless the
Creep boards it, too (in which case it becomes
an ordinary Chase on foot). Planes, boats, and
spaceships are equally unlikely, unless the
Creep has a similar vehicle, in which case you
can handle the Chase normally.
Getting There Faster: At the start of
every Chase, each Victim is given the
opportunity to Beat It. Innocents never Beat It
unless they have Victims present to show them
how, and some of the Victims there Beat It as
well and yell at the Innocents to follow. Once
all Victims have decided whether or not they
will Beat It, those with chicken legs should add
1 point of Cowardice for Vamoosing. When
Cowardice has been recorded, the EM has the
option of making one or more of them Falter.
Anyone to whom this happens subtracts 1 point
of Misfortune, but has to take part in the Chase.
If the EM elects to have the car Falter,
the engine overheats, a tire goes flat, gasoline
10
runs out, oil dries up, or some other calamity causes
a malfunction.
Rewards for the Cowardly: Victims who
Beat It, and do not Falter, arrive at their destination
without a Chase. Of course, they also won't be
around to save their friends who were chased and
were caught. The number of Stretches chosen for
the Chase is then converted into Moments.
Although representing only a short duration, a few
Moments can be invaluable for defending yourself
from unspeakable horrors.
The First to the Hounds: Anyone left after
the spineless chickens have Beat It is a potential
target for the Creep(s). Unless the EM rules
otherwise, the Creep will always try to catch the
Victim or Innocent with the highest Misfortune
before anyone else. In nature, this is called culling
the herd. Anyone who Beat It without Stumbling is
excluded from the choices for the chase at hand.
Splitting Up: Creeps always Chase the
Innocent or Victim with the highest Misfortune in
preference to everyone else (see above). Eventually,
the Victims will all run in separate directions to get
away. Any Victim who deliberately tries to ditch his
friends should suffer the normal penalties for being
a Scumbag. If there are multiple Creeps, one Creep
can Chase each group of Victims and Innocents, in
order of highest Misfortune first.
Conducting Chases: When Creeps are
Chasing Victims of Circumstance or Innocent
Bystanders, they must Exploit their prey's
Clumsiness. If more than one person is being
chased, the highest Clumsiness and Misfortune
scores in the group are used even if they each come
from a different person. This is what happens when
a group protects Innocents. If the Creep succeeds
he/she/it subtracts 1 Stretch from the amount he is
behind the person being chased. If the Creep not
only succeeds, but also reduces the number of
Stretches to 0, the Creep catches up with the prey
and a Scuffle ensues. In the event the Creep fails to
Exploit the Clumsiness of the prey, the distance in
Stretches between the two remains unchanged.
Delaying Creeps: If a Victim feels he really
needs to, he can elect to make the Creep Take
Longer by adding Misfortune. For every point of
Misfortune added, a Victim can increase the
distance between him and the Creep by 1 Stretch.
As Creeps fumble around and try to find their
footing, or are otherwise delayed, the Victim can
add extra distance so he will have longer to act
when he arrives wherever he is intending to Hole
Up. The Victim can decide how many Stretches
he wants to add, so the number can be
increased above the original starting amount.
Heading Off Prey: Creeps spend a lot
of time perfecting the ancient arts of not
leaving a tip, making fun of small dogs, and
engaging in otherwise naughty (and possibly
disgusting) behaviours. It is therefore not a
surprise that they spend a lot of time learning to
Head Off Victims.
Some Creeps use instinct, some study
street maps, and a few are so fiendishly twisted
that they understand the physics behind public
transit. Whatever the case, they can Head Off
their quarry and disappear in the blink of an
eye, only to reappear directly in front of
whoever is being Chased.
Yelling BOO! or A-HA! is a staple
of Creeps who are practiced at Heading Off
Victims, but either an evil chuckle, a knowing
look, or both are fine too.
Creeps Head Off those they are chasing
simply by subtracting 1 point of Misfortune
from each of the Victims being Chased. All the
Creeps actively Chasing the Victims and
Innocents appear in front of those Chased.
Stretches are reduced to zero and a Scuffle
ensues. No matter how many Creeps and
Victims are involved, the Misfortune subtracted
is still only 1. Only Victims subtract
Misfortune. Innocents do not, because they are
merely appetizers before the entree.
A Creep may not Head Off Victims and
Innocents when Chasing a vehicle, unless the
Creep has a similar vehicle. If the Creep does
have a similar vehicle, she/he/it may Head Off
the prey normally.
Escaping to Hole Up: Victims and
Innocents escape to Hole Up at the end of the
Chase. The Stretches are turned into Moments.
Chasing the Creeps: If a Victim of
Circumstance or Innocent is chasing a Creep
(or group of Creeps), s/he must Overcome
Clumsiness to close the distance between them
by 1 Stretch. If a group of Innocents and/or
Victims is chasing a Creep, the Innocent with
the highest Clumsiness is the one who must
make the attempt for the whole group. It must
be a Victim of Circumstance who tries, if one is
present, as Innocents do not lead Victims in
chases. Whenever Creeps are being pursued,
the EM may choose to have one or more people
11
Falter (as above). Victims can subtract 1 Stretch
from the distance between them and the Creep, the
same way that they would add Stretches in a normal
Chase.
If a Victim in a car is chasing a Creep, the
Victim can be assumed to catch the Creep (what
fun, otherwise?). The Scurrilous Scuffles section
should handle the rest. (See page __)
ALL HOLED UP
AND NOWHERE
TO GO
After fleeing frantically from the fiendish
Fleshflaunter, you head to a house to Hole Up and
hide. What now? How can you use the few precious
Moments you have before the Fleshflaunter shatters
your shack? Have no fear; all will become clear.
The three classic uses of time are: a)
searching for useful items, b) hiding to escape later,
and c) waiting in ambush. If there is enough time,
its possible that two, or even three, of these choices
can be attempted.
Searching For Items To Use: The most
obvious reason to go to a building, aside from
barricading yourself away from things with long,
pointy teeth, is to find items that might be useful in
bringing about their demise. Finding these items is
simply a matter of Pushing Your Luck. If you look
in the right place Pushing Your Luck will be easier
or even automatic, but the search will still take time.
Being in a building improves your
chances of finding what you want. The EM will
be less likely to rule that it is impossible, and
may add less Misfortune for the attempt.
It is nearly impossible to find most
things outside, and so going from building to
building across town is sometimes necessary to
find the right items to help you. Most often, lots
of dangerous traveling is necessary when
searching for the Goodies for Gadgets.
If you pick an appropriate building, it
will be easier to find what you want. A hospital
is the place to find funky green gowns, but an
auto shop is the proper pad to pick up grease
for your gears.
Time To Search: It takes one Moment
to search each floor of a small building, three
Moments for each floor of a large building, and
five Moments for each floor of a huge building.
It is the average size of the floors of the
building that matter, and not the height of the
building, although searching an 80-floor
skyscraper could take all night if you dont
focus (and judging from the sounds coming up
the stairs, you dont have that long).
A house is the most common small
building, a small suite of offices a common
example of a large building, and a hospital,
shopping mall, or factory would each be
considered a huge building.
The EM may opt to make the search
Take Longer for the benefit of the Creeps. As
usual, this makes the search take longer but
also lowers Misfortune. For every Moment
added to the time required to search a floor,
subtract 1 Misfortune from the Victim
searching. If more than one Victim is searching,
it is the Victim with the highest Misfortune who
benefits. The EM can decide arbitrarily if there
is any argument about who is the most cursed.
Searching For The Goods: At the end
of the full amount of time necessary to search
the floor you are on (1-5 Moments), you can
Push Your Luck and see if what you need is
somewhere on the floor.
The full amount of time must have
passed before you can even ask, How likely is
it? And there is no guarantee that what you are
hoping for is even possible. Only one try can be
made per floor, luckily, so even the largest
floor space wont leave you up the creek
without clover. Just try to narrow things down a
12
bit before you search the Empire State Building.
Quicker Searches: A Victim who feels
there wont be time to do a proper search can turn
the joint upside down and Hurry, provided the EM
has not already made the search Take Longer. For
every Moment that is subtracted from the necessary
search time, +1 is added to the Misfortune of
everyone searching. The time required for the
search cannot be reduced below 1 Moment. It is
possible to enter a building and find what you were
looking for right there in plain sight.
Teamwork: It is possible to search a floor
more quickly if there is more than one Victim
searching. The number of Moments needed for the
search can be lowered by 1 Moment for each
additional person searching, past the first, but the
search time cannot be reduced below 1 Moment.
Innocents cannot search any more than they can
undertake any other useful independent action. For
instance, if five people search a huge floor, the
whole thing will be finished in 1 Moment. Having
more than five searchers per floor is unnecessary,
regardless of the size of the building.
If there are more than three Victims present,
splitting up into search parties may be best. These
Search Parties may only have a single searcher in
them, which doesnt make for much of a party, even
with lively salsa, but the rules apply equally well to
any number of people in the search party. Despite
the implication of multiple people in each Search
Party, this is not always the case.
With multiple Victims and Innocents, whole
search parties can be sent instead of individuals.
Each team searches at the same rate as a single
Victim (1 to 5 Moments per floor depending on
building size), but the individuals in a team are
much safer throughout the whole process. Teams
may also be wise because Innocent Bystanders
cannot search, or contribute to a Search to make it
take less time, but may still need guarding by
Victims who wish to search a building themselves.
The Downside of Search Parties: The
problem with working as part of a committee is that
the most able are limited by the most inept. The
Victim with the highest Misfortune is required to
Push Your Luck once a search is complete.
Nasty Surprises: Probably the worst thing
that can happen while searching is to find
something nasty waiting for you. Sometimes there
are Creeps lurking inside a building that you never
imagined were there.
Creeps have a way of sneaking up when
you arent looking. The problem with searching
a floor in a building is that you are certain to
run into any Creeps that might be inside unless
you are Sneaking. Unless the EM decrees
otherwise, Creeps always hunt the Victim or
Innocent Bystander with the highest Misfortune
before moving on to other prey.
If a Victim is not deliberately being
careful, it is guaranteed that Creeps on the
same floor will come calling. Sneaking is a
necessary for anyone moving through a floor
that a Creep may share, unless he wants to
guarantee being detected.
SYNCHRONISED
SNEAKING
Sneaking Around: Being careful is
highly recommended if the Victim is searching
a building that Creeps already occupy, but it is
also a good idea for those fleeing a building
after having already evaded the Creep inside.
Anyone who chooses to sneak around a
building must choose to be Edgy in any Scuffle
that results from a failure to be quiet enough.
Unfortunately, they must add the normal +1
Misfortune for being Edgy even if a Scuffle
does not happen. Sneaking requires only a
simple attempt to Overcome Clumsiness. If the
attempt is a success, then the area is traversed
quietly. If not, a floorboard has squeaked, a
stone has been kicked, a dog has barked, or
someone was unable to resist the urge to
whistle tunelessly or to giggle hysterically.
If you do make a sound, you may as
well croon the latest off-off-off-Broadway
show with gutsy bravado because everyone
around has already heard you.
A Victim can only try to Sneak if the
Victim states s/he is trying to be quiet. A Victim
cannot claim to be sneaking all the time unless
stated otherwise. A Sneak attempt should be
made every time a Victim or Innocent passes
through any room in which they could be
heard.
Sometimes the devious EM might ask
for a Sneak attempt from Victims where one
13
isnt necessary, simply to build suspense and to help
conceal which times really count.
Sneaking in Groups: If several people are
trying to Sneak simultaneously, they may opt to
move as a unit. This involves making only one
attempt to Overcome Clumsiness for everyone,
instead of requiring each Victim and Innocent to try
separately.
The unfortunate side effect of working as a
team is that it is the person with the highest
Clumsiness that has to Overcome for the Sneak to
succeed. This is usually an Innocent if any are
present and Innocents typically have Clumsiness
scores of 9. The EM always attempts things for the
IBs. Even though its the person with the highest
Clumsiness who has to try, this way is still better for
groups, because if each character tried separately,
your Victim would still be spotted alongside the
unfortunate under whatever system s/he failed.
Success and failure have the same consequences
with many Victims present as they do with only one
tiptoeing about.
Normal Hiding: Once a Creep enters
wherever you are Holed Up, it is a good idea to
Hide as soon as Ol Creepy starts looking around
the floor youre on. Hiding will guarantee you are
not heard or seen until the Creep searches the floor
you are on. If there is a good place to Hide, you
must Overcome your Clumsiness to remain unseen.
If there is no good hiding place, or you fail
to Overcome your Clumsiness, Hiding In Plain
Sight is necessary. If you can remain unseen then
the Creep will move on to search other rooms and
you can escape.
Hiding In Plain Sight: Creeps will break
down every door and search every room whenever
they search a building. Ironically, despite being
careful to cover every obvious room, they are very
sloppy about looking around once there. Some
people think that it is a function of how Creeps see
that causes them to overlook so many obvious
Victims who are Hiding In Plain Sight.
It seems that Creeps probably spot things
through some combination of sound, motion, and
depth or that they simply adore mime so much
that they wont harm anyone who is quiet and still.
Whatever the case, it is possible for them to be
looking straight at you and walk by without noticing
anything. The trick is to stay perfectly quiet and
still, and to flatten yourself against a wall. If you are
not near a wall, you can squish up against
something big enough to cover your crouched form.
Victims must Overcome Clumsiness to Hide In
Plain Sight successfully.
Escape: If you Hide successfully, are
not found when the Creep searches your area,
and then Sneak out of the building while the
Creep is still searching, you can go wherever
you want. Use the rules for normal travel
without risk of a Chase. The EM can then give
you five (5) Moments before the Creep finds
you again. This can make an Ambush, Chase,
Crashing & Smashing or Scuffle inevitable.
CRASHING &
SMASHING
With the possible exception of
European Soccer enthusiasts, no one enjoys
breaking stuff more than Creeps do. Lets face
it, theres nothing more fun than taking out our
frustrations on whatever is handy.
What Creeps Can Destroy: A Creeps
Weakness modifier determines how many
things the Creep can wreck. El Creepo can
break anything listed beside the modifier as
well as anything listed beside lower modifiers.
Whats more, the Creep can break it without
breaking a sweat at the same time.
Raising Weakness Modifiers: I know
what youre thinking. Youre thinking that the
Weakness modifier only goes up to +4 and the
chart goes up to +32. You may also be
14
wondering how such a small modifier can take huge
Creeps into account. The answers are simple.
The scale goes up to +32 because a Creep
may choose to Wig Out, thereby raising the
effective Weakness modifier for the purposes of
destroying things. A Creep usually Wigs Out in
order to break down barriers and catch his Victims.
He may Wig Out by Pushing The Luck of his
Victims. If he can exploit their Misfortune he can
double his Weakness modifier during that Moment
for the purposes of breaking things. A Creeps
Weakness modifier may be doubled once, twice, or
three times. Of course, an amount of Misfortune
equal to the number of doublings is subtracted from
the Misfortune of the Victim being Exploited.
Victims of Circumstance, Chumps, and
Innocent Bystanders can never Wig Out because
they could never summon up enough inhuman rage.
They might dredge up lots of human rage, but that
doesnt count.
Size Does Matter: In answer to your other
question, the amount that can be destroyed is set by
the size of the destroyer. A Creep can demolish an
area equal to its own size, provided its die scores
allow it to destroy all the materials in that area.
Consider the difference between Doglizza
and an incredibly strong dachshund. What is
Doglizza you ask? Pray you never have to meet it in
person. Doglizza is a very, very frisky dog like
many others, but with one terrifying difference.
Doglizza is the size of a gargantuan radioactive
lizard. The difference between Doglizza and an
incredibly strong dachshund is enormous. Or rather
it is enormity itself. Whereas they can both tear
through brick walls, the dachshund can rip a 1-foot
hole in a wall and Doglizza can tear down an entire
brownstone tenement.
Neither the general volume of an object nor
the material from which it is made affects how hard
it is to smash, but the thickness of the object does
matter. If that were not the case, mighty oaks would
be reduced to splinters as easily as saplings and
bank vaults would be about as impregnable as chain
link fences.
Thickness makes an object tougher to
destroy despite the fact that size is irrelevant. A
100-foot square piece of plywood will have a
Creep-shaped hole in it before you can yell,
kowabunga! But a tree stump three feet in
diameter and 10 feet tall is more of a problem.
Luckily, many Creeps carry chainsaws.
Whenever youre wrecking things its
the size of the thing youre using to do the
wrecking that counts. A rock hammer wont do
nearly as much effective wrecking as a 10-
pound sledgehammer.
If a Creep extends his foot to wreck a
Jeep, then his foot had better be nearly as big as
the Jeep. Of course, stepping through the
engine block should be enough for smaller
Creeps. If, on the other hand, your basic Creep
wanted to tear down a whole building, then it
would get farther by putting its whole body into
it instead of simply punching the thing.
Delaying Creeps: Of course, a group of
Victims and Innocents may not be ready to deal
with a Creep whos about to smash through the
door of wherever theyre Holed Up. Thats
when the Victims can add Misfortune to make
the Creep Take Longer. If they add +1
Misfortune, then the Creep didnt fully break
through this Moment and the Creeps attempt to
destroy whatever s/he was hitting did not
succeed. Of course, anyone else who benefits
must also add a point of Misfortune, so this can
be dangerous.
Just think of a Creep smashing down
the door of the house where youre Holed Up.
It doesnt get you, but the masonry starts
falling, crushing Innocent Bystanders. Sure, the
Creep isnt getting in yet, but having 12
Misfortune still sucks.
Victims Breaking Things: In the event
that a Victim or Innocent should ever want to
break something, and I hope theres a good
reason, the Weakness scores next to the Creep
Flaw Modifiers can be used. Victims with a
Weakness of 8 to 11 are better off running and
anyone with a Weakness of 12 has already
Bought the Farm. Why is that Victim still in
play? Stop cheating!
15
Weakness
Modifier
Victim
Weakness
What Can Be Broken
-4 10-11 A Creep no stronger than a typical Kid. This Creep can
barely punch his way out of a paper bag and should
beware anyone who packs a lunch. Mind you, hes still
more rambunctious than a locomotive and able to leap
tall buildings in a single bound.
-2 9 Your 12 year-old brother would be a good match for this
Creep. Lets hope the Creep is half as vicious.
-1 8 Here is a Creep that is about as strong as a typical
teenager. Of course, if he is as bitter and angry as a
typical teen, you may still be trouble.
0 7 This Creep can force through or destroy the sort of things
a normal, adult man could. This includes bushes, card
tables, chairs, televisions, stereos, VCRs, computers,
dinghies, and windows.
+1 6 Stronger Creeps have it in for sliding chain locks, doors,
beds, couches, desks, pianos, mailboxes, small trees, park
benches, handheld weapons, rowboats, surfboards, and
major appliances. This category even includes the kitchen
sink! These Creeps love to demolish parks and houses.
+2 4-5 Really strong Creeps can easily wreck handcuffs,
padlocks, safe deposit boxes, light chains, door locks, car
doors, phone booths, big double doors, medium trees,
flagpoles, bathtubs, motorcycles, snowmobiles, jet skis,
motorboats, and wooden, plaster, or fibreglass walls.
+4 1-3 The very toughest Creeps can effortlessly smash dead
bolts, light safes, heavy chains, billboards, steel-
reinforced doors, bulletproof glass, propeller-driven
planes, helicopters, cars, vans, pickup trucks, jeeps,
houseboats, and brick walls. Brick walls are an especial
favourite.
+8 N/A Enraged Creeps can trash large trees, telephone poles,
light poles, jet fighters, combat helicopters, trucks, and
concrete walls.
+16 N/A Particularly enraged Creeps can dismantle heavy safes,
very large trees, fire hydrants, jumbo jets, space shuttles,
eighteen-wheelers, armoured personnel carriers, yachts,
and reinforced concrete or steel doors.
+32 N/A The strongest and angriest Creeps can demolish huge
trees, tanks, ocean liners, warships, and bank vaults
without breaking a sweat. It wouldnt be unfair to say
they can grind up anything that can be broken. Of course,
anything that can be broken should be broken.
16
CHUCKING &
DUCKING
One thing that is almost as fun as
breaking stuff is throwing things around. Dont
tell me you dont envy Creeps their lack of civic
pride!
Basics of Throwing: The rule is simple:
if you can break it, you can throw it 10 feet. If
you want to be more precise, just use the lowest
multiple of 5 thats greater than your height.
Thats how many feet you can throw something.
In short, the farthest most adult humans can
throw anything is 10 feet (or about three metres if
you want to be metrically correct). However,
young people or short older people and really
tiny wee beasties may not get anything beyond
five feet. I have no idea how far Godzilla can
throw anything, because it wont tell us how tall
it is and I havent been able to get it to stand still
long enough for us to measure its height.
Really Strong Creeps: For every
doubling that a Creeps Weakness modifier is
higher than the minimum necessary to break
whatever it is hes throwing, double the distance
he can throw it. This represents maximum
distance, of course. If a Creep can toss a car 30
feet and some cretinous Innocent Bystander is
bugging him from 8 feet away then Creepy can
throw it 8 feet. Itll serve the little beggar right.
Breaking Bits Off First: In case it needs
to be said, you cant throw anything thats
attached to the ground, unless you break it off
first. If somethings bigger than the Creep, hes
better off tearing bits off. It may take a Moment
or two to get the job done, but at least hell have
lots to toss around.
Lifting Things: A Creep can
momentarily lift things that he couldnt throw
around or carry. Any Creep can lift things that
another Creep with a Weakness modifier of
double his modifier could break. Of course, he
wont be able to hold it for more than two
Moments if standing still, or one Moment if he
moves, but thats life.
Likely Targets: You guessed it; Creeps
will throw stuff at the VC or IB with the highest
Misfortune, before turning to anyone else. The
Evil Mastermind can always redirect the Creep if
he really needs or wants to do so
Victims and Throwing Things: Any
Victim or Innocent who wants to go around
tossing things about should probably grow up.
S/he probably hasnt cleaned his or her room
either and should be doing that instead of chasing
Creeps. That said, Victims and Innocents use
their Weakness modifiers as described in the
Crashing & Smashing section.
SCURRILOUS
SCUFFLES
A scuffle is a fight and a fight is, well ... a
fight. Any violent conflict between two or more
people or Creeps will qualify. Combat is divided
into Moments that are each equal in length to
precisely one very short period of time.
Knowing Who Goes When: In a Scuffle,
people move in a certain order. Usually, every
member of each side will move at roughly the
same time. Thus, it only needs to be determined
whether the Creeps can Get The Jump On
Everybody. First, however, each Victim must
decide whether s/he will be Edgy or not for the
Moment.
They should usually opt not to be Edgy.
The Evil Mastermind can have Edgy Victims
Freak Out. A Victim who Freaks Out not only
does not go first but cannot go at all. He is so
jumpy that when the Creep did start a Scuffle he
was too startled to do any good. He can do
nothing that Moment.
Consequences of Going First or Last:
All Edgy individuals add 1 point of Misfortune,
but automatically go first, even if the Creeps Get
The Jump On Everybody. They deduct 2 points of
Misfortune if they subsequently Freak Out.
Innocent Bystanders: Innocents will
never opt to be Edgy unless every last Victim
present opts to be Edgy, when they join the crowd
without adding or subtracting from Flaws as
Victims do.
Creep Options: Once it is known who is
Edgy and who is Freaking Out, the Creeps may
17
elect to Pull A Fast One. When Creeps Pull A
Fast One, they automatically Get The Jump On
Everybody except Edgy individuals who did not
Freak Out. In return, all Victims who are not
Freaking Out subtract 1 point of Misfortune.
If Creeps do not Pull A Fast One, they
can still go first if they can Exploit the
Clumsiness of the clumsiest person present. This
will often be an Innocent (and they usually have a
Clumsiness of 9). This is why you leave
Innocents somewhere safe before the final
showdown with Creeps. If the Creep succeeds, he
goes before any person who is not Edgy. If the
Creep fails, the Creep and his entire evil ilk go
after everyone who is not Freaking Out.
What Can Be Done: Once you know
which side goes first, the members of each side
decide the order in which to act. Lowest
Clumsiness can go first in event of disagreement.
Only one of four things can be done in each
Scuffle Moment. The four choices are the same
for Creeps and non-Creeps. In a Scuffle Moment,
each character may:
Attack.
Move.
Challenge Him/Her/Itself.
Use A Tool.
Each of these options is fairly
straightforward:
Attack
Victims, Innocents, and Chumps: A
Victim Attacks by Overcoming Clumsiness in an
attempt to hit (shoot, stab, bop, crush, liquefy,
disintegrate) his opponent. Innocents never take
action to Attack, or if they do, they have never
succeeded. If successful, the Lumps Dished Out
of the fist, teeth, or Weapon plus a variable
amount of Lumps will be added to the Lumps
Flaw of the target. If the character being hit has
any defensive Weapons, the number of Lumps
Bounced Off is subtracted from the total number
of Lumps Dished Out by the Attack before the
final number is added to Lumps. Simple, eh? If
the Victim did not successfully Exploit the
Clumsiness of his target, no Lumps are Dished
Out at all.
Creeps: A Creep attacks by Exploiting
the modified Clumsiness of its target. If the
Attack succeeds the Creeps Weakness Modifier
(with a minimum of 0) is added to the Victims or
Innocents Lumps. This is in addition to the
normal Lumps Dished Out plus a variable amount
of Lumps. If the target's Misfortune is 11, the total
Lumps Dished Out are also added to Weakness.
Once again, defensive Weapons subtract their
Lumps Bounced Off from the total Lumps Dished
Out before the Attack adds to Weakness or
Lumps.
Effects of Attacks: When your Lumps
reach 12 or more, you are Knocked Senseless, and
when your Weakness reaches 12 or more you Buy
the Farm. That should be rare if you act
intelligently because it cant happen until your
luck runs out at 11 Misfortune. Victims of
Circumstance whose Lumps exceed 12, or who
have added points of Weakness from wounds,
may Buy the Farm unexpectedly if the EM wants
them to. Try to remember the EM is really doing
them a favour, isnt s/he?
Defeating Creeps: A Creep with 12 or
more Lumps is defeated, and appears to have
Bought the Farm. Alas, Creeps cannot get
reliable estate agents and so will return to your
neighbourhood again one day! Creeps simply
cannot be eliminated for good and may return at
any time with renewed vigour if the EM wishes
them to. Now, that is Creepy!
Move
Moving During Scuffles: Movement
works more simply during Scuffles than it does
during Chases. The player gets to move anywhere
within a very short distance, provided there is no
current Attack.
Being Attacked While Moving: If a
player is Attacked while moving, a Chase ensues.
This is not entirely like a normal Chase, however.
The Creep can try once to Exploit the Victims
Clumsiness. The Victim cannot Beat It, but the
EM may still decide to have the VC Falter
normally.
Effects of Stumbling and Arriving: If
the Victim Falters, or the Creep succeeds, it gets
to Attack. The Victim cannot Attack during this
Moment, does not go where s/he wanted, does not
pass ghoul, and does not collect $100. If the
Creep fails to Exploit the VCs Clumsiness, then
our hero/ine gets where s/he wanted to go and can
use the Moment to Challenge Him/Herself or Use
A Tool. Then comes the next Moment....
18
Challenge Him/Her/Itself
Time Taken: A Victim who chooses to
Challenge Him/Herself immediately faces a
Challenge. The Challenge can take multiple
Moments if the EM thinks it should. The EM may
also make something Take Longer on behalf of
the Creeps. If the EM does so, then the current
Moment does not count toward the time necessary
to accomplish the Challenge. Of course, the
Victim subtracts 1 Misfortune.
Hurrying: If the EM does not choose to
have the Challenge Take Longer this Moment, the
Victim may decide to Hurry. Any Moment in
which a Victim chooses to Hurry counts as
multiple Moments towards completing the
Challenge if Misfortune is added to the Victim.
For every point of Misfortune that is added to the
Victim, an extra Moment beyond the first is
counted towards the total time spent.
That way, a Challenge that takes, say 5
Moments can be completed in 1 by adding +4
Misfortune. Obviously, you only need to Hurry
when a Challenge will take longer than 1
Moment. Alas, you guessed it; those who Hurry
must add 1 Misfortune each time.
The Creeps can still Attack busy Victims
when their turn comes, of course, even though
they are not being attacked. Creeps are aptly
named.
Use a Tool--
Basic Tool Use: Lastly, Victims may
choose to Use A Tool. Yes, this means a Tool.
Anyone using a Weapon or Gadget has really
chosen Attack as his option. Trinkets, on the other
hand are functionally useless, remember?
19
SLICERS &
DICERS
You want me to be quiet? Vewy, vewy
quiet? Youre hunting what? Wabbits?
Well if youre going to bash Bugsy real
good youll need to listen just a bit longer. Before
we go wabbit whompin we have to talk about
what the scwewy stats beside the weapons mean.
Weapon Effectiveness: Lumps Dished
Out or Lumps Bounced Off are the sole measure
of every Weapons effectiveness.
Weapons that can cause you to be
Knocked Senseless are rated in Lumps Dished
Out and those that can prevent you from being
Knocked Senseless are rated in Lumps Bounced
Off. The higher the number beside each, the more
effective the weapon is.
Lumps Dished Out is the number added to
Weakness or Lumps after a successful Attack.
Lumps Bounced Off is the number subtracted
from Lumps Dished Out before it is added to your
Weakness or Lumps.
Weapon Typeface and Weakness
Effects: In the Weapons Table, Ranged Weapons
can be used to Attack people at a distance. The
Lumps Dished Out of Hand Weapons with a
basic Lumps Dished Out of 1 to 5 is increased by
1 for every point that the Weakness of the wielder
is below 7. If his Weakness is 7 or more, he adds
no bonus.
BEING
KNOCKED
SENSELESS
At some point a Creep is going to Dish
Out more Lumps than your Victim or an Innocent
can take. When this happens it is a lot worse than
having to drink bad coffee. Its right up there with
having a bullfrog for breakfast, but its a lot better
than Buying the Farm.
Being Knocked Senseless: When a
Victim or Innocents Lumps reach 12, s/he is
Knocked Senseless. Yes, that means driven
unconscious, whining about the pain, put in
shock, or otherwise incapacitated. The person
cannot do or say anything useful without
Babbling.
Having 13+ Lumps: Lumps are the one
Flaw that can be driven above 12. Yes, thats
right; it is possible to have Lumps of 13 or higher.
It just means youve been Knocked Senseless for
a longer period of time. A lot of Lumps means
that you may be out for a while.
Babbling: A Victim who absolutely needs
to communicate something to the other Victims
can opt to Babble. He adds +1 Misfortune for
every sentence uttered. If the EM has difficulty
sensing where one sentence ends and another
begins the EM can assign Misfortune as s/he sees
fit. The Victim should have learned better than to
use run-on sentences. Doesnt s/he remember
English class? In case the Victim doesnt, the EM
should craft a reminder that wont soon be
forgotten.
20
Functioning Fully: At 11 or fewer
Lumps, a Victim or Innocent can still function
despite bruises, so a single Spot can be long
enough for someone to wake up after being
Knocked Senseless. Luckily, no amount of Lumps
will impair you in any way except to make you a
little more likely to be Knocked Senseless.
There is no way to Buy the Farm until
your luck runs out at 11 Misfortune, so dont
worry; youre perfectly safe. Being Knocked
Senseless is just a way of getting you carried
safely to the Creep so he can Gloat before placing
you in a fatal Death Trap.
Recovery: Dont worry; 3 Lumps
disappear for every full Spot that passes after the
Lumps are received. If the Victim is doing nothing
but resting, s/he removes 5 Lumps per Spot during
which the Victim leaves any companions to fend
for themselves. He should also add +1 Misfortune
for each of those Spots for being such an
inconsiderate Scumbag. In the unlikely event that
a Victim can get a good nights sleep, Lumps
return to 0.
MMMMMMMMM
MEDICINE
Medical Treatment: If a doctor, nurse, or
another Victim successfully uses first aid on a
Victim or Innocent with Lumps, the patients
Lumps score immediately goes back to 0.
Whereas most people cannot offer proper medical
aid at all, they can bandage simple bumps and
scrapes. Lumps require only normal first aid such
as anyone could attempt and doctors, nurses and
paramedics would find simple (i.e.: Stereotype
related). Lowering Weakness to its original level
requires medical training such as a nurse or
paramedic has, a doctor finds simple and other
people cannot even attempt.
If the Victim or Innocent has had
Weakness raised due to Attacks, successful
medical treatment will reduce his Weakness by 1.
First aid cannot reduce Weakness below its
starting level, unfortunately. Try exercise.
First aid can be applied on a person at the
end of every Scuffle in which his or her Lumps or
Weakness Flaw was increased due to an Attack.
Obviously, receiving more than 1 point of
Weakness in a Scuffle is a bad idea. If Lumps or
Weakness are increased due to other types of
injuries, first aid can be applied to those injuries
as well.
Still, I would try not to get caught in
burning building if I were you. Remember, as
much as smoking is a risk to your health,
exploding in flames is even more dangerous. Just
say no to negative patient care outcomes.
21
BUYING THE
FARM
Any Victim or Innocent who has reached
a 12 Weakness is said to have Bought the Farm.
Some people prefer other phrases. You can be:
resting in Abrahams bosom, biting the biscuit,
visiting God, taking the big jump, getting your
just reward, going to a better place, finding
peace, sleeping with fishes, dancing with
groundhogs, weighted down by your boots, firing
your last shot, mustering out, going home in a
box, checking out, cashing in your chips, popping
off, going across the creek, croaking, taking a one
way ride, taking a long walk off a short pier,
crossing over the River Jordan, taking a last bow,
dropping the curtain, getting cut off, turning your
toes to daisies, paying the debt of nature, closing
up, settling accounts, or answering the final
summons.
Other people prefer: flunking out,
washing up, going west, popping off the hooks,
joining the immortals, hopping the last rattler,
going to the last roundup, laying down the knife
and fork, going to your long home, having your
name inscribed in the Book of Life, suffering
from a negative patient care outcome, getting
paid, seeing St. Peter, passing out of the picture,
pulling the plug, becoming a landowner, calling it
quits, going up salt river, striking out, listening to
Taps, going belly up, pegging out, passing your
alley in, going for tea, getting trumped, or going
the way of all flesh.
My favourite alternative to Buying the
Farm is Choosing Your Euphemism. I hope
you dont have to decide right away.
Eventually, every Victim of Circumstance
lives up to the title. The Victim should have been
more careful. Victims should also pack their bags
for the express flight to the great blue yonder, but
don't worry; it's not all like Kansas. Fighting the
forces of evil will have earned our Victim first-
class seats. Sorry, non-smoking only, but its
time you quit anyway. God will be proud; Im
sure. Make sure you have another Victim of
Circumstance ready for next time.
Obviously the chances of something this
awful happening again are slim....
MASTERFUL MASTERFUL MASTERFUL MASTERFUL
MASTERMIND MASTERMIND MASTERMIND MASTERMIND
BEING AN EVIL
MASTERMIND
This section attempts to give some
rudimentary advice in a quick overview of what
issues may arise during play. Anyone wearing a
hat and carrying an umbrella probably considers
himself too smart for such basic advice, but
should read it anyway. Those of you hoping for
dancing penguins will have a bitter pill to
swallow. Please take a spoonful of sugar to help
the medicine go down. Tea and crumpets will be
served at the end of this section if time allows.
The key to running a good game is
making sure everyone has fun. If you can
entertain your players and yourself, having fun
should be a sure bet. To entertain your players
you could simply sit on your hands and wave
your elbows around while clucking like a
chicken, but it grows old fast and is undignified.
Throughout this book I am intent on suggesting
as many other alternatives as I can to avoid
widespread chicken imitation.
The first rule is that the EMs word is law.
He should take the attitude of baseball umpire
Bill Klem and say: It aint nothin til I call it!
He didnt see swings as inherently being fouls,
balls or strikes on their own merits but merely
situations for him to judge. An EM shouldnt play
favourites with his players, try to get them to Buy
the Farm or fail to be conservative in rewarding
them but his ruling must be respected as final.
An EM has a responsibility to try to be
fair and consistent in his rulings and not favour
one player over another. He must also understand
the rules better than any of his players so he can
speak with authority when there is a
disagreement. As far as the normal rules go,
tailoring it to the tastes of the people playing is
pretty standard so long as everyone involved
agrees upon house rules. He should also not
decide to alter the existing rules without
discussing it with his players beforehand,
however.
Any rulings that have to be made during
play due to unforeseen situations should not be
made to disturb the flow of play too much. New
rules can be extrapolated from existing rules so
any new house rules are consistent with the
approach of traditional rulings. Just be cautious
because the rules were refined over time and take
their current form due to experience.
During play, it should be unusual to add
situational modifiers. Each +/-1 modifies the
chances of doing something considerably more
than it would seem (sometimes more than 10%).
A +/-1 is a reasonable swing in the odds, +/-2 a
large shift and +/-3 a very large swing in the
odds. If you cannot avoid modifying whatever it
is, try to keep the shift to +/-1.
Providing a fair overall level of challenge
for the Misadventure is more important than
duplicating expected odds for each action. Just
just blasting away with guns will not usually
easily defeat creeps. A reasonable structure
should be provided to see that each Creep has
weaknesses that can be exploited. Gadgets will
often be necessary and should be built with
Goodies that can be found at Spots around town if
the Creeps can be evaded. Whatever the structure
of each Misadventure, just make sure your group
of players can handle it and have fun with it.
Published Misadventures are especially likely to
be balanced to a typical group rather than your
specific group of players, so such Misadventures
are best slightly modified to taste.
Misadventures available commercially are
designed to run best during a certain period (often
the 1950s or present day). These will suggest
certain Victims of Circumstance as the most
appropriate and have a certain feel. In most cases,
these Misadventures can be adapted. The
www.playbmovie.com Web site will have
Misadventures available to purchase for
downloading and play.
The main secret is to have fun and refine
your technique between sessions when you can
identify areas where you need to improve without
interrupting a game. Follow the models here to
make things easier and there should be no
problems that are too big for you to handle.
I.D.I.O.T.
PLAYERS
Once you have played the first
Misadventure, it will be possible to learn from
any difficulties that arose. In order to keep things
moving in play, it is important that all the players
manage their time well. The Evil Mastermind has
to ensure that the plot is kept on track, that trivial
scenes are resolved quickly and that important
scenes are made as much fun as possible. It is the
responsibility of the EMs players to co-operate
so there arent all kinds of obstacles to keeping
things on track.
A b-movie allows for script rewrites and
film editing but role-playing games dont. You
can come up with a Misadventure and revise it a
little bit on the basis of what you are able to
anticipate, but you cant do a lot of revision
during play, and you cant fully undo things that
have been played out. The best way for an EM to
shepherd things in the right direction, at a fair
pace, is to be alert for several session-killers and
curb them whenever they start to be a nuisance. I
use the acronym IDIOT to describe them. The
acronym IDIOT stands for Indecision,
Digression, Irrelevancies, Obstructions, and
Talking.
Indecision: Players may dither and
become caught in inactivity. They can become
flustered. Sometimes all of the players are log-
jammed and at other times only one or two
players bottleneck everyone else.
Provide incentives for action or start
doling out Misfortune to the indecisive. If that
doesnt work, start moving things along at your
end. If the Victims wont go to the plot, bring the
plot to them. For example, if your intention is to
have the Creeps ambush the players outside the
house, but the players are intent on searching
every floor and dont want to leave, perhaps its
time for one or several wandering Creeps to start
bashing on the door.
But, you also need to be careful not to
make things so dangerous that players need to be
overcautious if their Victims are to survive.
Players are a lot like cows navigating electric
fences. A few shocks and they will stay put even
when the electricity is off.
Digression: Off-topic, personal chitchat is
unavoidable to a degree. Remember that EM
stands for Evil Mastermind, not Evil Martinet.
You should not be harsh with someone who starts
talking outside the parameters of the game, but a
good way to kill any game is to destroy the mood
by having people abandon the viewpoint of their
Victims and start talking about whatever enters
their heads. Chatty types should be steered back
into playing.
Irrelevancies: Many players want to play
out each thing that happens, and role-play even
the most irrelevant details. As the other half of all
interaction that happens in the game, the EM can
be part of the problem. It is vital to ask players to
tell you when they are doing something minor. If
they want to go to the store to buy a book to read
on the bus between Spots and it doesnt affect
anything, just say, You do it.
Obstructions: The biggest obstacles are
formed when the players are obstructed by
complete dead ends. Make sure that when you
make things challenging and the clues somewhat
unobvious, that you also provide at least one
blindingly obvious pointer for the players to
follow if they dont find the real clues. There
must always be things that lead somewhere in
plain sight so the players are never stuck
absolutely without direction. The penalty for
missing clues should be to have to follow a more
circuitous route. In the course of this longer route,
the added scenes should be exciting so that they
dont bore the players. Providing extra
opportunities to earn Lumps may get the job done.
Talking: A much more innocent form of
conversation than outright Digression is talking,
in character, endlessly. Sometimes Misadventures
can go nowhere because two or more of the
players decide to have their Victims interact in
real time. They have immersed themselves so
deeply in playing their Victims that their blow-by-
blow conversation threatens to take over the
game. This sort of talk is great when all the
players are enjoying it but can be a real problem
otherwise. Talking can be handled in much the
same way as Irrelevancies and Digression.
Applying the Formula: The IDIOT
formula got its name because it addresses the
things that a player can do to be an IDIOT, but
offers solutions with the notion that players dont
intend their behaviour to disrupt the game. Treat
your players gently. The whole point is to have
fun. Besides, they are delicate wee muffin heads.
STALK YOUR
VICTIMS
Heres where we laugh at the
professionals. Ho Ho. You know you want to
have a chuckle at their expense, or preferably a
monstrously cruel cackle. They should envy you
your many advantages, not the least of which is
not wearing a suit during play.
Always remember how cushy your life is
compared to those poor sods who write creepy
novels and TV scripts. They have to write
material good enough to sell and it has to appeal
to an audience of thousands of strangers with
tastes that are hard to predict. To succeed, their
material has to stand up to repeated readings, or
viewings, and perhaps even interest future
generations. Poor wee muffins.
After pausing again for a heartless
snicker, you should now hunker down to the
simple task before you. You have to provide a
Misadventure that will be a lot of fun for a
handful of your friends. You know all of them
well and can cater to their exact tastes. Better yet,
so long as the Misadventure is constructed with
some thought, and played out with gusto, it will
never have to stand up to repeated play by the
same people.
Design things to suit the tastes of your
players. If your players like action, give it to
them. If they like the Gothic style, deliver fog-
shrouded atmosphere and brooding chills. A
young audience will like to see justice meted out
and punishments that are appropriate and ironic.
Teenagers start out wanting beach bimbos and
firearms your classic big 'uns and big guns
formula. Those who have had the good fortune to
mature with age may prefer subtle, sophisticated,
and genuinely terrifying Misadventures.
Hopefully, each of your players wont
want something different.
It also helps you to know yourself well.
Try to tell stories that exploit your strengths and
that avoid your weak spots. It may help to pray
that your weak spots wont be in the areas that
your players love (but dont count on it).
Once you have laid out a Misadventure, it
is possible to hook players even more during play
if you realize that your plans arent carved in
marble. Place things in each scene to involve
each player. Do unplanned things to enliven them
if they are starting to get bored. Rearrange the
clues if the players are totally lost. Books and
movies cant be revised once released, but
Misadventures can be edited during play. You
should be careful not to change too much, but
your players never have to be bored.
Skim over descriptions of journeys,
actions and conversations that arent intrinsic to
the story. Get right to the action and stay there.
Beginnings build a foundation; endings deliver
the promised punch. Everything in between is
just a way of getting from the one to the other.
Make the middle gripping by filling it with only
the best moments.
Scare your players. Make them laugh and
make a statement. This is a war against boredom!
Do whatever it takes to kill your enemy.
Anything goes. Your players are your friends and
you know their tastes, their emotional buttons,
and their fears. Use the knowledge to do
everything you can to entertain them.
HOT TO TROT
PLOTS
Once you have an eye for what your
players like you can get down to some actual
effort. Okay, I admit it; Im every bit as lazy as
you are. Im not going to give you an endless
analysis of the proper elements that must be
included for every story to be well constructed
and weighty. I wouldnt even consider suggesting
you read everything you can to find original
concepts. Im going discuss developing plots
without getting a mental hernia. I am going to
shepherd your lazy brain cells through the hills
and dales of the familiar.
Okay, make sure no one is around and
within earshot. Are you alone? Were you
followed? SHH! Not so loud! No? Good. I will
let you in on the secret of being an evil and
masterful Evil Mastermind.
Steal.
Storytelling is really just the art of fooling
people into thinking youre telling them a story
that has yet to be heard. Once you have a plot,
you need to make sure it doesnt appear too worn.
Putting a fresh coat of paint on the same broken
down old sedan is all that anyone can accomplish.
That said if you have to steal, youll get a lot
farther stealing gold than you will by stealing
oven mitts. Artists become great when they steal
from the best.
Now we all know crime doesnt pay, and
this case is no different. It is very important to
add your own elements to every story. You
should also glance over what others have done
because your perception of the characteristics of
something can be wrong. Dont worry too much
about being precise for RPG-13 B-Movie Game
System, but a look at whats out there can have
unexpectedly funny results.
In an examination of the great American
novel, an author once tried to dissect the
literature of the Deep South. Among the many
common elements, he discovered something very
odd. Reputedly, one of the most common
elements of all was the presence of dead mules.
They were scattered throughout the literature of
the South. They littered battlefields, graced
larders, and even hung from chandeliers.
Whoever had that pack animal dangling
from the ceiling must have thrown one wild party
the night before. He was also born to one very
vivid imagination. Although many asses kicked
the bucket along the Mississippi, not many mules
kicked so hard.
Aside from simple creativity, all that is
required to give new life to an evil plot is to
update it. This is very easily done and only
requires two simple steps:
Recognise a contemporary
audiences demands.
Update the setting and
background elements.
The main thing that a contemporary
audience needs, and something that no one
demanded in Shakespeares time, is explanations.
The questions of who, what, where, when, why,
and how are each important, but the only question
thats really vital is how? Make sure that you
answer this question, but try not to be too
scientific about it. This is a RPG-13 B-Movie
Game System game, not a scientific thesis paper.
Another answer is simply to cut out
difficult parts all together. If Hamlet were being
written now, the author would be wise to omit the
ghost of Hammys pa. He is a nice addition, but
can be done without. If the play werent
Shakespeare, many people would ask: How on
Earth is HE back here on Earth? Of course, in
horror, you cant cut out the supernatural
elements, like you could from tragedy, but you
get the idea. Its a shame you should have to
answer so many questions, but thats the Age of
Reason for you.
How many times do you picture Victorian
London or modern New England as perfect
settings for horror? The reason those periods and
places are so famous is simply because a few
great writers made them that way. They were
actually just using their own contemporary eras
for their novels. All you have to do to update their
settings, personalities, and other elements from
their era to our own.
You can substitute morgues for crypts,
psychologists for priests, jeans for petticoats, and
jet planes for ocean liners. Just remember to hold
on to a few anachronisms for effect. After all,
what would a mad scientists lab be without
humming transformers and antiquated rabbit
ears coursing with electricity?
Once youve scoured the house for
deceased donkeys, it is time you got back to the
mainstay of RPG-13 B-Movie Game System:
clichs. You can rest happily knowing that you
added your mule hanging from a chandelier,
chicken in a trombone, or rat on a stick.
INVENTING
INSANITY
Once you have made life easier on
yourself by trying some older ideas with a slight
twist added, you will eventually feel brave
enough to really go out on a limb and come up
with truly fresh notions. Coming up with good
ideas is the first step in developing
Misadventures. Ideas arent as hard to come by as
one might imagine. Any bucktoothed yokel can
dream up a whole pile in no time. The trick is
finding one that that isnt thinner than a runway
model with dysentery.
Ideas come from asking, What if? and
seeing where different combinations of Creeps
and settings and goals go. With a bit of
experience, youll find that ideas come easily.
There are two steps to getting ideas:
noticing things and being idle. It is like inhaling
and exhaling. Spend most of your time absorbing
everything around you. Really take it in and
retain what you see and hear. Spend some time
thinking about it. Spend the rest of your time
letting your mind wander and your crazed
imaginings go unchecked. Many odd thoughts
will come to you unbidden.
If you are really stuck, you can look at the
list of Creeps in this book, or examine the
assortment of businesses listed elsewhere in this
tome. You can examine the setting, the Victims of
Circumstance your players have made, and the
Innocent Bystanders, Chumps, and Creeps you
have already introduced. Maybe there is room for
a sequel if all else fails. The standard-bearer of
mediocrity, and Hollywood disinterest, sequels
can be a perfect tribute to the horror genre.
Once some ideas have come along, it is
time to sort through them. Of course, getting a
number of ideas is only the beginning. The hard
part comes with knowing which idea to use and
how. The first step is to get an idea with a useful
premise and the next is to think about what the
logical results of the premise might be.
There are three main secrets to judging
whether an idea is any good. If an idea cant live
up to the following three criteria, you should
forget about it.
You havent used the idea
before and it doesnt resemble any famous
stories too closely.
You are comfortable with the
idea in terms of your skills as an EM and
your personal tastes.
It can be constructed in a way
that will entertain your players.
Clichs are your bread and butter. The
only bad clich is one that you have used too
much personally. Just ask yourself: If my stories
were the only ones ever told, what would be
considered overused? Then youll know what
else to avoid.
Make sure each idea you are using is not a
tired retread of another of your plots. There is no
point having the players know the ending because
you have just switched the Creep involved
without refurbishing the details. Check the story
against famous stories or any other sources your
players might be familiar with. If you
deliberately, subconsciously, or unknowingly
duplicate a famous movie or novel, your players
might find all the answers right away. We
couldnt have that now, could we? You say you
want to emulate that novel anyway? Well, dont
say I didnt warn you, but you may find some
useful insights in Hot to Trot Plots, below.
The idea should offer opportunities for
you to exploit your strengths as an Evil
Mastermind and not rely too much on areas
where you are weak. It should deal with things
that interest you and include a few opportunities
for you to improve weak spots in your EM-ing
style. You should also avoid ideas that might
develop in a direction that may stray into
sensitive areas you find distasteful.
It is vital that the idea have places to put
hooks that allow for all the Victims of
Circumstance to become involved and to really
care about the outcome. There should also be lots
of room to add subplots to develop the private
concerns of each Victim. Of course, it is even
more important that the players are entertained
and that the idea can accommodate their styles
and tastes. Remember their sensibilities and dont
include anything that will offend them.
Of course, you should still aim to tell
stories that will affect them. They should be
amused, chilled, and challenged by your games.
A CHICKEN IN
EVERY PLOT
Once the ideas have come, the actual
Misadventures will still need to be plotted. Ah,
plotting, a word that truly implies what they
forgot to teach you in schoolthe heart of
literature is pure evil. Concocting Misadventures
is not as hard as it looks. Just think of yourself as
an Evil Mastermind Plotting against his Victims
and numerous Innocent Bystanders. After all,
because you will be portraying the Creeps
involved in each Misadventure that is almost
literally your role. There are two sides to making
a Misadventure: Damming It to the Nines and
12 Step Progress.
Damming it to the Nines is a watery nine-
part image for the process of planning Spots. It
means, blocking a flood very elaborately.
Picture a tidal wave that is eventually dammed up
after a few brave people struggle against the tide
while sinking deeper and deeper into the water.
1. Floodgates Open: Dead
bodies are found or there are
mysterious events or Creeps burst on
the scene in a way that involves the
Victims and will endanger more and
more Innocent Bystanders. There
shouldnt be any Scuffles this early.
2. In Deep: The Victims are
involved in a Spot and things look
bad.
3. Deep Reflection: The
Victims have a brief time to consider
what has happened and to quietly
investigate.
4. In Deeper: The Victims are
involved in another Spot and things
start to look worse than ever.
5. Deeper Reflection: The
Victims have a brief time to consider
what has happened and to quietly
follow up the questions raised in their
earlier investigation.
6. In Deepest: The Victims
are involved in another Spot and
things are really at their bleakest. This
is the time when they are most likely
to Get Carried Away.
7. Deepest Reflection: The
Victims have some chance at very
brief final thoughts. Gloating and
Death Traps are likely at this point but
things are not quite as bleak as they
could be because there may be little
mystery left and more opportunity of
escape.
8. Damming It All: The
Victims confront the Creeps for the
last time and someone Buys the Farm,
one way or another.
9. Drying Off: There is a sigh
of relief, brief congratulations, final
Mushy Stuff, and a chance to say
goodbye if anyone needs to leave.
The Spots should be well structured so
your plot doesnt wander, but imprecisely
defined, so there is room to let things flow in
unforeseen directions when it is necessary.
Flexibility is key. Just take each Spot and focus
on a single event and how it plays out. Events
centre on conflict, which involves someone trying
to do something and someone else trying to stop
him. Spots are usually mini-goals within the
scheme of a larger goal.
The basic format can be altered as
necessary. Steps 4 and 5 can be repeated as many
times as you want to add more Spots to the
Misadventure, or even skipped altogether to make
it shorter. As you master the general art of
inventing Misadventures, you can stray further
and further from the formula. Even Picasso
mastered the established methodology before he
got kooky with his canvas.
The odd numbered steps in Damming it
to the Nines are for giving your Victims a chance
to use their five senses and think about what they
notice. The even numbered steps are all about
action. Think of it as looking for the odd and
getting even. Make the odd numbers brief and
the even numbers exciting. This is a classic
structure, but a lot more interesting in execution
than the peaks and valleys your geeky English
teacher always prattled on endlessly about. Yikes!
Presentation of each Spot can be summed
up by the Eleven Heavenly Clues for Fools.
Each Spot should have a list of what the Victims
can Obviously See, Obviously Hear, Obviously
Touch and Obviously Smell & Taste. It is also
important to note what Victims could Possibly
See, Possibly Hear, Possibly Touch, Possibly
Smell & Taste and Possibly Inuit. What is
Obviously sensed can just be described to the
players and what is only Possibly sensed requires
the Victim to both look around and successfully
Overcome his/her Ignorance.
If you want to consider a Misadventure
from the perspective of the Victims, and with an
eye toward role-playing, keep an eye on 12 Step
Progress to help everyone dry up. A lot of
people seem to find following 12 steps helpful.
Here is the classic course that each Victim takes
in a Misadventure:
1. Something very bad
happens.
2. The Victim of
Circumstance is stuck in the middle of
it all.
3. He decides he has to do
something.
4. He forms a plan of action.
5. He faces the opposition.
6. He struggles against great
odds and risks much.
7. Things are bleakest.
8. He learns an important
lesson.
9. He reaches his goal.
10. He must decide if he will
accept the rewards in front of him.
11. He satisfies a need he has
had for a long time.
12. He realises this need is due
to something from his past and he can
move on.
In most games and fiction 12 Step
Progress is vital. A plot is just a quick outline of
events without a real story centring on how the
events change the people involved. In a b-movie
style story, however, it is an afterthought that you
should remind the players to pay lip service to.
Vive la difference!
As a rule for other types of storytelling,
the hero will be formulating a goal to pursue and
the villains will be those people who oppose him
but in b-movies Creeps initiate almost every
story. The nearest things to heroes are mere
Victims of Circumstance stuck along Innocent
Bystanders.
The best test for determining if an idea is
a good one is not by using an exact measure or a
taste test (proof is for puddings) but by thinking
through a Hollywood pitch summary. See if
you can sum it up in a single sentence as two
established concepts merged into a single idea
that seems new and exciting. If you can that is a
sure sign of a winner.
SUSPENSION IN
DISBELIEF
Execution is vital. Once a Misadventure
has been plotted, its execution requires a certain
sharpness and fine attention to detail to make it
come off right. This section deals with the vital
question of how to make the story believable and
then to screw it up. The answer is as surprising as
ever.
You must portray your evil as real, if you
want to creep out your players when your
Creeps stalk their Victims. The world you create
must feel normal and natural, just as much as the
people in it should be reasonable. A true-to-life,
mundane backdrop makes the extraordinary really
stand out. A banal setting makes the bizarre
terrifying and disturbing. The incredible should
seem incredible. Contrast is your friend.
It is best to keep your world as close to
the real one as possible. The people should have
so little contact with the paranormal that they
refuse to believe in it, even when all the facts
point that way. No matter how often strange
things happen, they will be explained away
rationally. Even if a person is forced to agree that
werewolves exist, he will not be more likely to
believe in wereturkeys, vampires or anything
else.
Once the incredible saddles up and rides
onto your ranch, it should be reacted to in a way
appropriate to each person. A priest might find
demons easier to believe in than a scientist would.
Most people might find maniac slashers credible,
but treat everything else as a prankster in a rubber
suit.
Reactions vary, but they are based on
what the person considers likely. Innocent
Bystanders are only stupid not to run from a
werewolf if they know what it is. As werewolves
shouldnt exist, they usually make fatal, but
logical, mistakes.
It is best not to twist reality at all. All that
needs to exist are the monsters or magic of the
particular adventure you are running. Only
assume the changes to the world that are
necessary for you to do what youre doing. Forget
the rest. Usually you can leave the implications of
monsters running around for the players to
speculate upon. You dont need to explain
anything except as absolutely necessary.
Wherever you deviate from reality you
should stay consistent. A ray gun that
disintegrates Innocent Bystanders is not going to
gently stun the Victims of Circumstance just
because the players run them.
Also remember that Creeps like all the
comforts of home just like we do. Make sure it is
clear that they live in reasonable conditions. If
magic can conjure beauty and wealth, witches
would be cute and rich. Why arent they? Make
sure you have reasonable and clear answers, even
if you cant explain everything.
The other thing you have to decide is
whether a Creep is supernatural or
superscientific. Supernatural things cannot be
explained by science and superscientific things
can be. Neither is actually explicable by current
science in practice, but it is a key difference.
Again, this is a game about b-movies and
not good movies. It is a game about schlock
horror rather than true terror. There is a point at
which you have to take your ideas over the top.
The thing that separates bad horror from good
horror is that something goes wrong in bad horror
that ruins the effect. This can happen in a number
of ways.
To help other people suspend their
disbelief and have an easy time accepting the
story as plausible (so they will be frightened), the
best approach is to start with a Creep that makes
this possible. If you pick a Creep that is so over
the top that it could never be believed, then you
will fail before you start.
The best approach is not to force the
Creep and setting into a ridiculous mould, but to
allow the game mechanics to work naturally on
their own. Any Creep can be chosen and there is
no need to pick outrageous Creeps.
It is vital that the Creep never be
humorous. Just make the plausibility a loose fit
when you follow the model. As always, the
humour should come from the way the game
plays out once the players are involved.
THE TEMPO OF
TERROR
Knowing the style of execution for your
planned Misadventure should give you an idea of
the desired pace, but maybe not how to make it
feel really up tempo. There are a number of
things to remember when pacing fights and
description. They apply equally well whether you
are scaring you players or driving them mad with
laughter.
The important thing to remember is that
modern horror is fast-paced. The older
investigative style is not the horror of schlock
cinema. Action is vital and should only stop so
that there will be contrast and the slow bits can
show you how fast the fast bits are.
If character is plot in fiction, and
characters are interesting when they undergo
change, then change is what is interesting within
a plot. Change only happens over a long time or
as a result of conflict. Conflict is therefore the
heart of plotting. Conflict is any expression of
one side wanting to do something that another
side is trying to prevent. Any change that isnt
driven by lots of conflict takes too long to make a
quick story.
Since conflict involves the actions of the
Victims, it is mostly controlled during play.
Planning the Misadventure simply involves
making sure there are lots of possibilities for
action in most Spots and a strong reason to get
involved.
Once a Misadventure is underway, the
real job of making things seem fast-paced and
exciting is at hand. The best way to control pace
is to put on music. Many groups play music at
sessions but worry more about genre than tempo.
Mood can be created as much by the pace of the
musics rhythm as by its sound. The fastest
tempo music that wont ruin the mood is the best.
Nothing creates tension like the illusion of pace.
Once the players are generally tense, you
can work on the rhythm of your speech as an EM.
A varied rhythm will grab people more. Each
sentence should be a bit different in length from
the last but of a length appropriate to the Spot.
Short sentences are faster and better for tense
moments and long sentences slow things down.
Repeating a single word or phrase can add
a lot as well. Imagine yourself talking, talking,
talking, formulating the correct pacing and
babbling unnecessarily lengthy examples of
verbiage until you build to a short burst of
speech. Then STOP!
Did I mention that inflection, and volume,
can help you use your voice to describe things
well?
Every time you stop to describe things for
the players is time in which nothing exciting is
going on. Description is useful only to the degree
it is capable of adding something. In normal
description, each item gets an amount equal to its
importance in the Misadventure. In describing
action it can be different.
In real action, people see things as if in
slow motion and yet perceive things going by so
quickly that they arent clear on exactly what
happened when they come to recall it later. The
strangest little details can stand out at the oddest
moments, even despite the whole pictures
importance. The EM should feel free to describe
small details in combat in a way he wouldnt stop
to do elsewhere.
Suspense is the best goal of any Spot that
does not contain action. Suspense is created
through atmosphere and is discussed in the
Atmospheric Horror section, beginning on
page___.
The time in each Spot should taper down
to a faster and faster flow: A series of vivid
details, then hard blows to the gut, culminating in
a thunder strike. Boom!
A
FRIGHTENING
FORMULA FOR
GHOULISH
GUFFAWS
The best policy is to let all the laughs
come naturally and to design all of your
Misadventures as straight horror stories that
become humorous only when your players get
involved. If you do want to try the game with an
occasional deliberate spoof, it is best to use the
formula here so your humour isnt forced and you
can inject laughs in a more natural and calculated
manner.
There is a simple, six-
ingredient formula for humour that will
have your players in the THROES of
laughter any time you want them to be.
The six ingredients are Target, Hostility,
Realism, Overstatement, Emotion, and
Surprise.
Target: Humour is anxiety and anger
directed critically at a third party for the
entertainment of an audience. The perfect target
is one that your players enjoy seeing ridiculed.
The easiest targets are Chumps, Innocents,
and even Creeps if you can still make them scary
afterwards. Targeting yourself this way will
tend not to leave the players feeling stepped on.
Celebrities can be introduced in play as
visiting stars. People who are reminiscent of
celebrities can be used as Innocents. That can
allow you to really exploit the spitefully envious
and gossipy natures of many players. You have to
know which celebrities your players may be
familiar with, and what references to popular
culture they will get, but the material will never
be dated because you will only play the
Misadventure once.
Places are also favourite targets.
Countries, states, provinces, cities, towns,
neighbourhoods, and businesses (especially large,
well-advertised examples) are all prime targets.
Most places have a character that can be easily
ridiculed by outsiders.
Any familiar object can be used as a prop
to provide a good target. Buildings, cars, sports
gear, jewellery, junk food and any other item on
the market could work. Every store the Victims
enter is full of props just waiting to be ridiculed,
used as an aid to another joke, or waiting to
become involved in a slapstick mess.
Where actual people are not the target,
ideas can be. Often, ideas are easily targeted by
having a ludicrous sounding Innocent express
them. Although stereotypical portrayals shouldnt
be used as a platform for racist or other bigoted
humour, there are many ideas that can be
personified in people or expressed through them
in order to get a laugh. The best choices are ones
that your players will all get a kick out of. If your
players cover a wide variety of opinions, then you
can have fun by hitting all sides of a topic and
being impartial.
Hostility: Comedy is cruelty. No one
wishes to be ridiculed and the truth hurts.
Romantic difficulties, authority issues, financial
worries, family conflicts, powerlessness in the
face of technology, and general low self-esteem
are the source of most peoples hostility.
Therefore most humour targets those themes.
The lighter segments of RPG-13 B-Movie
Game System often centre on romance. When the
normal state of everyday life is established before
horrors interrupt to change things, the subplots
being established are primarily romantic.
Characters are categorised as dating, no longer
dating, or having no hope of dating. Getting in the
way of others who want to date can also work,
especially where the characters in the movie are
teenagers surrounded by parents and other dating
obstacles. Any love interest with whom youve
fallen out, or anyone who stands in the way of
your pursuit of a love interest, is a likely target
for some pointed wit.
Authority issues are the next most
common theme, especially with teenaged heroes.
The desire to see pompous, arrogant self-
righteous tyrants get their just deserts is universal.
Ridicule is almost always directed at those above
us. If Innocent Bystanders in positions of
authority can be portrayed unsympathetically
early in a misadventure, then all kinds of
possibilities exist to make them the target of
embarrassment and poetic justice later. Before the
final undoing of wicked authority figures, a lot of
digs can be directed at them behind their backs.
Another of the greatest sources of conflict
has to be financial concerns. Adults have to deal
with car loans, mortgages, income, and the
demands of their boss or small business.
Teenagers have to worry about getting money
from their parents and fitting a job in with their
school and social schedules. Although Victims of
Circumstances are assumed to have sound
finances without ever dealing with the issue,
players are expected to play out these concerns.
Money causes a lot of arguments and sets up
many opportunities for humour. Even better,
money establishes certain people as authority
figures. The need for more money often arises
from dating. So it goes.
Of course, no matter what the concern,
odds are it will bloom into a family argument.
Whether the contestants are husbands and wives,
parents and children, or brothers and sisters,
family members bicker like no one else. The
simple formula is just to have the Innocents and
Chumps in the family worry about the Victims in
the family, think they know whats best, and
imagine that their good intentions make them
immune to criticism. That should lead to endless
fighting.
Angst is a good fallback position if the
target is less than entirely positive. Dread,
despair, fear, emptiness, anguish, anxiety,
paranoia, suffering, and mortality can produce
hours of fun. Picking on universal insecurities
will make humour with a lot more impact. Unless
your players are very mature, you should
probably make Innocents the targets of the worst
barbs.
A particular essence of the classic B-
movies is the anti-science message: There are
some things man is not supposed to fiddle with.
They do this by exploiting the technological fears
of every generation: alien invasions, machines
gone mad, atomic mutations, industrial pollution,
and corporate indifference just expressions of a
fear of rapid change.
Differences in physical traits can lead
some people to turn fear of the stranger into
intolerance, and intolerance is one of the most
common sources of hostility and humour. Any
visible difference in race, class, sex appeal, status,
or education can be and, sadly, often are
ridiculed. However, such ridicule is less and less
socially acceptable.
Realism: A very old style of humour is
making a comeback under the banner of
observational comedy. Realism is most easily
employed in comedy by putting two truisms side
by side, only to have them seem ludicrous next to
each other. Example: its odd that we drive on
parkways and park in driveways, isnt it?
Overstatement: Anything can become
ridiculous if exaggerated enough. Blatant
distortion or obvious hyperbole is easy to carry
off because it lacks subtlety and is difficult to
miss. Example: Im so hungry, I could eat a
Creep! Uh oh, looks like this is your chance
Emotion: It is vital to engage your
audiences emotions because there is no tension,
anticipation, or interest, otherwise. Tension can
be built by pausing briefly before the surprise
ending. Interest can be built by involving your
intended audience.
Surprise: Humour never works unless it
is unexpected. If you can see the joke coming
youll never laugh. The only way to guarantee
surprise is to make everyone think they know
what is going to happen and prove them wrong.
Misdirection is always better than mystery.
1
THE EVIL THE EVIL THE EVIL THE EVIL
MASTERMIND MASTERMIND MASTERMIND MASTERMIND
INNOCENT
BYSTANDERS
Innocent Bystanders are the kind of
people who could wear "Born To Die" T-shirts
and mean it.
More precisely, theyre anyone in a
Misadventure who isnt a Victim, a Chump, or a
Creep. Of course, they dont want to be cheap
luncheon meat and dont know theyve just been
cast into a Shakespearian tragedy. They are
perfectly viable people in their everyday lives,
but thats because Creeps arent around.
As soon as Innocents stumble into a
Misadventure and the Creep gets wind of them,
its time to break out the salsa. They wont last
long enough for the Creep to double dip.
Innocents Flaws: Statistically,
Innocents have a default score of 9 in all their
Flaws, including Misfortune (but not Lumps;
they start at zero for every character). These
Flaws (excluding Lumps) are then modified
according to Stereotype.
Especially tasty Innocents, such as Jocks,
start with 11 Misfortune. Sorry, but for all their
macho posturing, Jocks are really just male
Cheerleaders in the grand scheme of things.
Saving Innocent Bystanders: Its very
important that Victims endeavour to save the
2
Innocent Bystanders accidentally caught in the web
of fear we call a Misadventure.
If Victims dont interact with and save
Innocents theyll never learn anything. Not only that,
but the Creeps hunt their prey in order of highest
Misfortune first, so Victims will eventually be prey to
the Creeps, no matter what. Furthermore, particularly
insensitive Victims will be deemed Scumbags. You
dont have to hold love-ins, but do try to protect each
other!
CHUMPS
With billions of people in the world, one in a
million is born with the independence of thought to
be a Victim of Circumstance instead of becoming a
mere Innocent Bystander.
Ah, but there is a creature that is rarer still. In
any collection of Innocents there are sometimes one
or two who are actually happy to help. I calls em
Chumps.
Chumps are slightly more useful and
much more proactive than Innocent Bystanders.
You can think of Chumps as being akin to action
figures where the arms and legs move and the
knees and elbows bend. You still have to do the
work for them, but you can do a lot more with
them than with those solid plastic figures that
just stand around stiff as boards (or, more often,
simply fall over).
Making a Chump: A Chump is simply a
Victim who is run by the EM. The Chump is
created in the same way as a Victim and would
have been a VC if s/he had been born to parents
with fewer responsibilities.
As it is, Chumps are much better than
Innocents to have around. The rules treat
Chumps exactly the same as Victims in all
circumstances. Once again, the only difference is
that the EM plays Chumps.
Playing Chumps: The EM should never
have the Chump be especially useful in resolving
Misadventures except as an extra pair of hands
or fists. Victims should never be made to play
runners-up to anyone.
Victims should also be discouraged from
trying to have the Chump take all the risks.
Victims should be the proud new owners of a
pile of Misfortune for doing that.
Chumps may also speak up if they are
smart enough. A Chump might have been
suckered into helping, but that doesnt mean
s/hes a chump. Oh; it does, doesnt it?
Okay, then it doesnt mean s/he is a
chimp and will necessarily be a willing test
subject for the effects of prolonged exposure to
cavorting kiwi canaries....
THRILLING 3-D
Three Dimensional Thrills: If the Evil
Mastermind is especially pleased with a
Misadventure he has made, he should announce
to the players that it will be played in thrilling
three dimensional action! That means that
certain nasty parts of the Misadventure will
actually be made nastier!
In a 3-D Action Misadventure, the EM
should pick out the single most dangerous part
of each Spot. Whatever it is should be allowed
3
one 3-D Action sequence when it is first met and no
more. These highlights will be made deadlier by the
virtue of their coming at you entrance. Whether
you lean in and stick your fingers in your players
face and lean back far away again and repeat the
motion while making a weee-oooooh, weeeeeee-
oooooooh noise is up to you. I wouldnt do it too
often.
3-D in The Standard RPG-13 B-Movie
Game System: The thing that makes 3-D Action
deadlier is that three dice are used instead of two. It
is actually 3-die-mensional instead of 2-die-
mensional. When the three dice are rolled, one must
be discarded and only two rolls may be selected to
add together. The range of 2 to 12 for each roll is still
the same but the rolls tend to be a lot better when you
are going for the best two out of three. After all,
isnt that the battle cry of every poor loser whose
intended Victims are winning too much?
3-D in The Diceless RPG-13 B-Movie Game
System: The thing that makes 3-D Action deadlier is
that things are not as subject to negotiation and are
therefore more permanent. Haggling to reverse
success or failure cannot involve more than 3
Misfortune being added or subtracted wherever 3-D
Action is involved. This leads to fewer successful
attempts to Overcome and Exploit Flaws and fewer
reversals thereafter.
CREEPY
CLIMAXING
Creeps that Climax: Evil Masterminds
may have noticed that movies and literature
(even if just comic books) have a tendency to
produce Creeps that seem a lot more capable
early on and gradually become less able to think
clearly and defeat opponents later on. In
Misadventures it is possible to duplicate this by
having the Creeps act tougher early on and less
tough late in the Misadventure. This is called
Climaxing. It leads to Victims who are a lot
more eager to investigate the different avenues
available in a Misadventure and who are
reluctant to try to smash the Creep very early on.
After all, what is the fun of going home in the
first 10 minutes of a game?
Climaxing in The Standard RPG-13 B-
Movie Game System: Climaxing rules change
the number of dice provided to Creeps in each
part of the Misadventure. Creeps should have
one die more for important rolls in the first
1
/
3
of
the Misadventure (selecting the total of the best
two dice, and, yes this will mean using four dice
and taking the best two in certain 3-D Action
sequences). Creeps should have one die more for
important rolls in the first
1
/
3
of the
Misadventure (selecting the total of the worst
two dice, and, yes this will mean 3-D Action
sequences cancels Climaxing out making for a
normal die roll). The standard two dice are used
in the middle of the Misadventure only and for
everything but important attempts by the Creep
to Exploit a Victims Flaws in the opening and
closing thirds. Also remember that the thirds are
a rough guideline and each Misadventure will
have its own logical breakdown of beginning,
middle and end.
Climaxing in The Diceless RPG-13 B-
Movie Game System: Climaxing rules change
the basic lucky number of 7 Creeps use as a base
when they Exploit Flaws in each part of the
Misadventure. Creeps should be given a lucky
number of 5 for important rolls in the first
1
/
3
of
the Misadventure and a lucky number of 9 in the
last
1
/
3
. The standard lucky number of 7 is used
in the middle of the Misadventure only and for
everything but important attempts by the Creep
to Exploit a Victims Flaws in the opening and
closing thirds. Also remember that the thirds are
a rough guideline and each Misadventure will
have its own logical breakdown of beginning,
middle and end.
4
If used carefully, Climaxing can help ensure
the flavour of Creeps is left inviolate in your
Misadventures. From Golden Age comics to
Hollywood blockbusters, Creeps are unstoppable
early on, menacing later and, finally, completely
spent at their moments of truth.
GLOATING
Everyone knows that among the more
articulate Creeps there is no activity more popular
than Gloating. A Harvard PhD is no guarantee
against going nuttier than a squirrel on steroids, but it
can make you a tremendous speaker. Now, since
theres nothing a speaker likes more than a captive
audience, its only natural that a Creep will take full
advantage of the opportunity that captured Victims
present.
Why Creeps Gloat: Although it is obvious
that Creeps love to Gloat, it has never been
adequately explained exactly why they Gloat. The
reason is simple: it is the only way to soften up really
tough Victims so that the Death Traps into which
they have been thrust will work. Theres no point to
tying that meddling Mounties girlfriend to the
railroad tracks if the train is only going to make her
faint dead away for a Spot or so!
Revealing Plots and Hearing the Story: For
every point of the Creeps story that s/he/it reveals,
every Victim of Circumstance present adds 1 point of
Misfortune. This applies to anyone within earshot;
even if the Creep doesnt know theyre there. It
doesnt apply to anyone who hears the story second-
hand from another Victim. If any Innocents are
present, they all immediately rise to 11 Misfortune,
no matter how little is revealed.
What Innocents Hear: Innocents never pass
on the information they learned while a Creep was
Gloating. Once again, it really sucks to be an
Innocent Bystander. Even though the Innocents will
now have identical Misfortune scores (of 11), anyone
who has ever been to cheerleading practice is still
considered prime rib. Anyone with a Misfortune
bonus will be picked first and the bigger the bonus
the higher his or her priority.
The Six Questions: There are six points that
a Creep must fully comment on in order to raise the
Misfortune of his Victims. They each raise Misfortune
by 1. The points are Who, What, Where, When, Why,
and How. These points must cover his origin,
motive and fiendish plot. The effusive self-praise
is traditional, but not mandatory.
Adding Misfortune: Up to 6 Misfortune
can be added to Victims via Gloating, but
Misfortune cant be raised above 11 in this way.
Ridiculing Creeps: There is cause for
exception if any of the Victims ridicules the
Creep while s/he/it reveals the tragic Country &
Western song that is his/her/its life.
The EM may declare that the Creep is
opting to Make An Example Of the Victim and
doubling the 1-6 points normally added from the
Gloating and the cap at 11 doesnt apply. The
Creep has just lent the Victim enough for the
down payment required to Buy The Farm. There
are circumstances under which a Creep will
summarily "off" someone. They dont call them
Victims for nothing.
Safely Ridiculing Creeps: The one
instance where a Victim is allowed to cast
aspersions on a Gloating Creep is when the
Creep is Egotistical. So long as the Victim
politely waits for the Creep to finish Gloating,
s/he may make 1 snide comment for every point
of Egotism the Creep has. Any more and the
Creep has every right to Make An Example Of
the Victim, so watch out. Remember that Creeps
have feelings too, so if the remark is especially
cruel, then the Victim has been a Scumbag.
Limits to Gloating: Just remember that a
Creep may only add Misfortune to someone by
Gloating once per Misadventure, so make the
opportunity count. Gloating is best done at the
climax, after the bulk of the Victims have been
captured or otherwise fatally mistreated. Once
the Misfortune scores of the remaining Victims
and Innocents goes through the roof, the Creep
should have no trouble watching them turn into a
fine mulch in his terrifying Death Trap.
DIABOLICAL
DEATH TRAPS
The Definition of a Death Trap: A
Death Trap is any diabolical contrivance that is
designed to help people Buy the Farm. They
5
differ from Weapons in that they are guaranteed to
work, if used properly. It is also often the case that a
few alterations in set-up can turn mere Weapons
into Death Traps quite easily.
Again, I know what youre thinking. You
think Death Traps are a laugh because they are
stupefyingly slow. Well the laugh is on you. Despite
appearances, it is exactly the relaxed pace of Death
Traps that makes them so immensely horrifying.
The Point and Limits of Death Traps:
Sometimes even Gloating isn't enough. Occasionally,
someone with a rabbits foot in their pocket is going
to have good odds of survival, despite having heard
the Creep Gloat. It was discovered though trial and
error that a Victim could be made to lose hope if
there was time to contemplate the horrible fate that
approached. Oh, and the Creep cant be present to
distract this contemplation, either. For every Moment
the Creep is present, no Misfortune is added. Sure,
the odds of escape become much greater, but it does
help ensure the Death Trap will finish off anyone
who fails to escape.
Adding Misfortune: For every Moment a
Death Trap takes to deliver its lethal payload,
Victims and Innocents caught in it must add +1
Misfortune, provided that the Creep isnt there to see
it. Once again, this cant drive Misfortune above 11,
in and of itself.
The typical length of time that a Death Trap
will take to dispose of its Victims is 5 Moments. This
adds +5 Misfortune and, combined with the +6 added
via Gloating, ensures 11 Misfortune.
Death Traps built by Egotistical Creeps are
often even slower. Death Traps are very aptly named
if the Victims fail to escape them.
Rescues: The problem with giving your
Victims 5 Moments alone is that they tend to escape
or to be rescued. Usually, 5 Moments is enough for
help to arrive, even from Across Town, if anyone
knows the Victims are in danger in the first
place.
A Creep is only allowed to have 1 Death
Trap per Victim per Misadventure. That will be
enough, hopefully. They ARE Victims, after
all....
SWARMING IN
SWATHS
Gloating is great for those Creeps who
went to college and Death Traps are swell for
those who can afford them. Still what is a
working-class Creep to do?
What if you are a poor giant beetle or a
member of a herd of mad cattle? You do the
same thing as any cog in a large bureaucratic
machine you wallow in inactivity until nothing
ever gets done!
6
For Creeps who are not really all that smart,
who are mute, or whose plans are not all that hard to
discover (eat, smash, kill), there is an alternative to
Gloating. Luckily it also removes the necessity for
Death Traps, since many Creeps cant easily build
them anyway.
The way to make sure your Victims add
enough Misfortune to Buy the Farm, when you catch
up to them, is to Swarm.
When Swarms Are Most Dangerous: It is
not the Swarming itself that causes Victims to add
Misfortune, but the fact that most members of a
Swarm tend to stand around uselessly or wander
about aimlessly.
Many of you have always accused Swarms of
being ineffective for this reason, but once again you
are wrong! It is precisely the Swarm filled with many
useless members that is channelling all the evil into a
few very dangerous members!
Swarms consisting entirely of highly
motivated members are great when you only want to
see a few Innocents Knocked Senseless, but are
usually unable to cause anyone to Buy the Farm.
Some say Swarms share a brain and it is only
when one or two members of the Swarm use the
whole brain that real evil can be accomplished.
Whatever the case, they are at their worst precisely
when they appear most inactive!
Adding Misfortune: At the beginning of
every Scuffle, a Swarm must declare how many of its
members will be Swarming for the duration of the
Scuffle.
Every time a Swarm declares its members to
be Swarming, half the number of creatures in the
Swarm are declared to be doing nothing for the
remainder of the Scuffle but, each Victim, Chump
and Innocent present adds +1 Misfortune.
Luckily, this cannot drive anyones Misfortune
above 11 and all fractions are rounded off (round
fractions of 0.5 or more up, and smaller fractions
down). The amount of Misfortune that can be
added from Swarming, of course, varies with the
size of the Swarm, but the EM is warned not to
pump Misfortune too high, too early in the
Misadventure.
A Swarm of 30 zombies has cornered
Grace Fuller and friend, Guy Everett, in a
barn. The EM declares that he is going to have
all but one of the zombies bang their heads on
walls, look around at the decor and otherwise act
like tourists.
The number of zombies participating in
the Scuffle was reduced by 5 steps (30 to 15 to 8
to 4 to 2 to 1) for Swarming and both Victims
present have added a total of 5 Misfortune. There
is now only one zombie doing anything at all but
it is now much more dangerous.
Luckily, they only have 2 points of
Misfortune each and are fairly happy little
campers. Even with the added 5, they will each
still only have 7 Misfortune and they cannot Buy
the Farm until the next major Swarming!
BOUNTIFUL
BEASTS
7
Animal WK CL CW Size
Bat -4 +1 -4 1
Bear +2 +0 -4 8
Boar +1 -1 -4 4
Bobcat -1 +1 -4 2
Buffalo +2 -1 -4 6
Cobra -4 +2 -4 2
Poison (12 Lumps)
Crocodile +2 +0 -4 7
Cougar +1 +1 -4 5
Deer +1 +1 -4 5
Dog -1 +0 -4 3
Elephant +4 +0 -4 8
Gila Monster +0 +0 -4 3
Poison (12 Lumps)
Gorilla +2 +0 -4 5
Horse +2 +0 -4 6
Hyena +0 +0 -4 4
Jackal -1 +0 -4 3
Lion +2 +1 -4 5
Python +2 +0 -4 12
Rat -4 +2 -4 1
Rhino +4 -1 -4 6
Shark +2 +1 -4 8
Squid, Giant +2 +1 -4 20
Ink Cloud
Tiger +2 +1 -4 7
Warthog +0 -1 -4 4
Whale, Killer +4 -1 -4 12
Wolf +0 +0 -4 4
Wolverine +1 +1 -4 2

HORROR GENRE RULES
2
THE VICTIMS OF
CIRCUMSTANCE
VICTIMS
Player characters are called Victims of
Circumstance (a.k.a. Victims or VC). Everyone
else is a Creep, a Chump, or an Innocent
Bystander (also known as Innocents or IB).
To create a Victim of Circumstance requires
several steps. Each section describes one part of
making your Victim.
1. Stereotypes, Reputability & Looks
2. Frustrating Flaws
3. Gobs of Goodies
4. Model Citizens
5. Low Profiles
6. An E For Effort
7. Effortless Exclamations
The process is easy to remember because the
section initials form the clever acronym
SRLFFGGMCLPEEEE. Once you understand
the rules well and have given careful thought to
your Victim, it is quick and easy to develop a VC
that will be great fun to play.
Throughout the rules, examples are enclosed in
boxes such as this to make it easier for everyone
playing to see how each rule plays out. All
examples use a female Victim, Grace Fuller, to
illustrate the relevant points.
Of course, Grace Fuller is not the real name of
our Victim of Circumstance. A pseudonym is
being used to protect her true identity. You can
pick a name and gender at any time during the
creation of a Victim of Circumstance, and the last
step in this process makes sure this has been
done. I chose to name her now because it is more
fun to get to know your Victim before preventing
fiendish attempts to bring about her (or his)
demise.
3
STEREOTYPES,
REPUTABILITY &
LOOKS
Every Victim and Innocent has a
Stereotype. A Stereotype is just what it seems to
be: a hackneyed archetype corresponding to an
occupation, lifestyle choice, or social group.
Stereotypes are easy to play because they
are based in truth, without being as universally
applicable as I imagine. Stereotypes provide
powerful, instant images of a certain category of
person. Each of us can describe a Stereotype to a
tee and yet have a mental picture entirely
different from that of the person sitting beside us.
As easy as they are to develop and play in a
pinch, Stereotypes can still be made into well-
rounded and unique individuals.
You should pick a Stereotype from the
list, or design a new one along the same lines.
Everyone has basic everyday skills as well as
skills appropriate to their career. Thus, your
Stereotype will give you certain advantages.
These advantages mostly involve being taken
seriously and having improved chances of
Overcoming Flaws for Challenges related to a
certain field of study.
You dont roll dice or otherwise pick your
Stereotype randomly. You may choose any you
like. Just keep in mind that during play, youre
going to have to keep your Victim true to his or
her Stereotype for the duration of the game.
Suddenly acting out of character and doing things
and/or pretending to possess knowledge your
particular Stereotypical Victim couldnt possibly
have will make Creeps horrible little mouths
water.
In the Stereotype Guide I use a thumbs
up symbol to indicate some of the characteristics
of various Stereotypes. The A column is for
Attractive Stereotypes, R for those that are
Reputable and D for those that are
Disreputable. Those Stereotypes that have the
thumbs up in a column have the characteristic
the column represents.
Attractive Victims And Innocents:
Members of certain Stereotypes are considered to
be Attractive to the opposite sex as an
unavoidable part of their lot in life. Any
Stereotypes that have the thumbs up in the A
column are counted as being automatically
Attractive.
Catch: Members of their own gender treat
Attractive Stereotypes as Disreputable and
members of the opposite sex treat them as
Reputable. Unfortunately, Attractive Stereotypes
run the risk of being Carried Away by Creeps!
Drag Queens have a ? in both the A
and D columns. People treat them as Attractive
members of the opposite sex unless they can
Overcome their Ignorance and spot the deception.
Players get an opportunity to Overcome their
Ignorance at the beginning of every Spot they
share with the Drag Queen. Once a person sees a
Drag Queens true colours, the Victim is treated
as Disreputable by that person thereafter.
Other Attractive Victims: A player may
choose to make a Victim Attractive if s/he so
chooses, no matter what Stereotype is chosen, but
should remember that Attractive Victims suffer
the same consequences as anyone else who is
Attractive, of course (such as being Carried Away
by Creeps), and should add +1 Misfortune for the
privilege. Their Reputability is also affected.
Women obviously suffer more for those looks
because, just as most men are beasts, most beasts
are men!
4
STEREOTYPE GUIDE
Stereotype Example Challenges Flaw Modifiers A R D
Actor Acting
Ageing Hipster Know Obscure Details
Relevant To A Single
Chosen Past Decade

Author Writing
Biker Drive Motorcycle -1 WK
Butcher Meat know-how; Use Meat
Cleaver
Cheer Leader Fill Students with pep -2 CL/+2 MI
Chef Cooking; Use Non-Plastic
Dish Or Plate Or Bowl
Dancer Dance
Dentist Dentistry; First Aid
Doctor First Aid; Medicine;
Surgery

Drag Queen Apply Makeup; Use Long

Fingernails; Use Stiletto
Heels
? ?
Dweeb Computer Use &
Programming

Electrician Electrical Work & Repair

Factory Worker Operate Heavy Machines -1 WK
Farmer Farm; Operate Heavy
Machines; Use Pitchfork
Fashion Model Strut Magnificently; Use
Long Fingernails

Granny To-Hit With Purse,

Umbrella, And Large
Knitting Needle
+2 WK/+1 CL
Gypsy Hide; Sneak; Slight Of
Hand; Tell Convincing
"Fortunes."

Hair Stylist Hygiene Maintenance;

Apply make-up; Use Long
Fingernails & Purse

Hermit Wilderness Survival;

Direction Sense
+1 IM
High School
Teacher/Principal
Pontificate Endlessly About
Nothing; Moralise
Aimlessly; Spout Self-
Contradictory Doctrines
+2 IG
Hillbilly Distil Hooch; Drive Pickup
Truck; Use Shotgun
+1 IG
5
STEREOTYPE GUIDE (CONTINUED)
Stereotype Example Challenges Flaw Modifiers A R D
Hobo Hide; Sneak +1 IM
Jock Know Sports Trivia -2 WK/+2 MI
Journalist Research; Writing
Kid Cheat Death (Cannot Buy
the Farm, All Attacks Cause
Lumps; Cannot be a
Scumbag)
+2 WK/-2 CL
Lawyer Law; Research
Mafia Goon Drive Black Car; Intimidate
Mechanic Mechanical Work And
Repair; Use Wrench
Musician Play Musical Instruments
Painter Draw; Paint; Rant
Photographer Photography
Pilot Pilot Aircraft
Political Radical Spout Dogma Of Choice;
Use Little Black Bomb

Priest Perform Rites +3 SU/-2 IM

Professor Know Facts Related to
Scholarly Speciality
+2 IM
Psychologist Psychology (May Reduce
Imbalance)

Sailor Sail
Scientist Make Gadgets -1 IG
Sculptor Draw & Sculpt
Sheriff May Legally Speed And
Commit Other
Misdemeanours; Use
Revolver; Does not add CW
and IM for Weapons
necessary to his duty

Singer Scream for Help (+1

Imbalance per Use) & Sing

Soldier Does not add CW and IM

for Weapons necessary to
his duty
-1 WK/-1 CL/+1 IM
Student Ditch Class Credibly -1 WK/-1 CL
Taxi Driver Drive Anything But A Taxi
Tinkerer Construct and Devise
Unusual Trinkets, and
Gadgets
-1 IG
6
STEREOTYPE GUIDE (CONTINUED)
Stereotype Example Challenges Flaw Modifiers A R D
Travelling Salesman Demonstrate the merits of
an amazing and
revolutionary invention that
does everything and will
still slice a tomato.
1 IM/+1 MI
Truck Driver Drive Truck; Stay Awake
Unskilled Labourer Get Exploited -1 WK
Veterinarian Animal Friendship &
Veterinary Care

FRUSTRATING
FLAWS
Victims have six Primary and Secondary
Flaws that must be Overcome to succeed at tasks
(i.e.: if a Flaw is 7, any result of 8 to 12 will
Overcome it). They also have two Tertiary Flaws
that record physical and metaphysical condition.
Weakness, Clumsiness, and Ignorance are
the Primary Flaws. Cowardice, Imbalance, and
Superstition are the Secondary Flaws. Misfortune
and Lumps are the Tertiary Flaws. The lower
each of these Flaws is, the better. Primary Flaws
start between 1 and 10. Secondary Flaws start at
1. Tertiary Flaws start at 0. All three sets of
Flaws can be modified while making your Victim.
See the tables below. The real question for
many people is, What do all the numbers
mean? But then, what does anything mean when
you get right down to it? Before we get into an
existential debate, however, it is important to
recognise that we are only discussing what things
represent in terms of the people around us. There
are examples beside each number for each of the
Primary Flaws to help you picture what the
numbers represent.
PRIMARY FLAWS
Weakness (WK): A measure of how
feeble you are in terms of strength, stamina, and
resistance to poison and disease.
Weakness Example
1 Powerful
2 Solid
3 Brawny
4 Athletic
5 Fit
6 Active
7 Average
8 Flabby
9 Weak
10 Sickly
11 Feeble
12 Fertiliser
7
Clumsiness (CL): A measure of how
clumsy you are in terms of manual dexterity,
general agility, and overall grace.
Clumsiness Example
1 Contortionist
2 Acrobatic
3 Agile
4 Graceful
5 Nimble
6 Supple
7 Average
8 Awkward
9 Clumsy
10 Bumbling
11 Inept
12 Completely Paralysed
Ignorance (IG): A measure of how
mentally deficient you are in terms of
intelligence, willpower, mental agility,
perception, wit, charisma, training, and presence
of mind.
Ignorance Example
1 Supra-Genius
2 Genius
3 Brilliant
4 Astute
5 Clever
6 Bright
7 Average
8 Slow
9 Stupid
10 Moronic
11 Asinine
12 Coma Victim
Determining Primary Flaws by
Assigning Points: Most players prefer to tailor-
make a Victim of Circumstance to taste by
assigning points. To determine how high your
Flaws are, distribute 20 points amongst your
Weakness, Clumsiness, and Ignorance Flaws.
Make sure each of these Flaws has at least 1 point
and not more than 10 points. The lower each
Flaw is, the better it is for the Victim.
Determining Primary Flaws by Rolling:
Making a Victim of Circumstance is even quicker
and easier if you roll your Primary Flaws instead
of assigning points. To determine how high your
Flaws are, roll a pair of six-sided dice three times
(subtract 10 if the roll is 11 or 12) and distribute
the results among your Weakness, Clumsiness,
and Ignorance Flaws. The lower each Flaw, the
better.
SECONDARY FLAWS
Secondary Flaws: A Victims Secondary
Flaws Cowardice, Imbalance, and Superstition
each begin at 1. Before play begins, they are
modified by your chosen Goodies and your
chosen Stereotype may modify your Secondary
Flaws even further.
Unlike Primary Flaws, Secondary Flaws
can fluctuate a great deal during play as a variety
of circumstances, actions, and other events occur.
Whatever the case, no starting Secondary
Flaw can ever be lower than 1 or higher than 11.
The Victim becomes incapable of Creep hunting
as soon as any of his Secondary Flaws reaches
12. It is difficult to save the world when you are
pushing up daisies, paralysed, permanently
flunked out, jellified, demented, or overly
esoteric.
Once again, you may ask, What do all
the numbers mean? Youll find explanatory
Secondary Flaw tables below.
8
Cowardice (CW): A measure of how
cowardly you are when actually faced with
something frightening.
Cowardice Example
1 Fearless
2 Valiant
3 Bold
4 Brave
5 Spunky
6 Calm
7 Timid
8 Fainthearted
9 Cowardly
10 Spineless
11 Gelatinous
12 Scared Into Buying the
Farm
Imbalance (IM): A measure of how
paranoid you are in terms of your cynicism,
pessimism, mistrust of people and the world,
anticipation of trouble, and need to be prepared
for every remote eventuality. Over time it also
reflects how mentally unstable you have become
and your proximity to the precipice of insanity.
Imbalance Example
1 Wise
2 Unflappable
3 Content
4 Stable
5 Erratic
6 Uptight
7 Suspicious
8 Wary
9 Paranoid
10 Unhinged
11 Deranged
12 Incurably Insane
Superstition (SU): A measure of how
superstitious you are for example, your
scepticism when confronted with strange
occurrences and/or tendency to believe things
which science rejects.
Superstition Example
1 Rationalist Pawn
2 Sceptical
3 Questioning
4 Undecided
5 Superstitious
6 Zealous
7 Mysterious
8 Profound
9 Esoteric
10 Arcane
11 Mystical
12 Passed Out of Mortal Bonds
TERTIARY FLAWS
There are two Tertiary Flaws: Misfortune
(MI) and Lumps (LU), which both begin at 0. A
GM may add Misfortune to a Victim every time
he feels that Victims player is being too passive
in responding to situations. Some Stereotypes list
a Misfortune Modifier wherever it is appropriate
to who they are. Misfortune represents an
increasing likelihood of bad luck. As bad things
happen, you subtract points from your Misfortune
because you have less bad luck due to you. As
good things happen, points will be added to your
Misfortune will be added to as it becomes more
likely that bad luck will eventually catch up with
you.
The other Tertiary Flaw, called Lumps,
exists only to measure how close to being
incapacitated you are. When a Victim, Innocent
Bystander or Chump reaches 12 or more Lumps
he is Knocked Senseless. This is described in full
later.
Modifying Flaws Due to Stereotype,
Sex, and Choice: When all the Flaws have been
set, the modifiers from your Stereotype should be
applied. Some Stereotypes dont provide Flaw
modifiers. Others do and they should be applied
before play begins.
Although nobody has to decide on a
gender once and for all at this stage, once you
have decided it is best to Modify your Flaws to
9
reflect the differing physiognomy of men and
women. Women are generally less muscular, so
they are +1 Weakness (+1 WK), but they have
stamina and pain tolerance that men lack and so
are -1 WK. This adds up to a total modifier of +0
Weakness. How about that?
I guess women are every bit as capable as
men, despite not being identical in every way.
The math proves it and math never lies because
it is the language of physics. So there.
Once the Flaw modifiers suggested by the
game rules are applied, a player may elect to raise
any or all Flaws to suit the individuals tastes, but
it is unwise to do so. No Flaw can start at less
than 1 or more than 11. Record the new numbers
in place of the ones you originally set, because
the old numbers wont be needed again.
GOBS OF GOODIES
Giving Out Goodies: Items of Equipment
in Scared Stiff are known as Goodies. All Victims
are considered to have clothing, spending money
and somewhere to live. Victims of Circumstance
can be equipped with whatever other gear their
players desire without regard to what they can
carry or afford to buy. Some reason should be
concocted for why the Victim is carrying the item,
but any no-brain excuse will suffice.
Goodies fall into three classes: Weapons,
Tools, and Trinkets.
Goodie Costs: Goodies dont cost money.
However, every Goodie affects the Secondary
Flaws with a very real cost in Cowardice,
Imbalance, and/or Superstition added.
Alternatively, adding Misfortune can offset some
of these costs. The EM may delete any choice he
finds inappropriate. Make sure that Victims pay
the Weapon cost for Tools that can also be
weapons. (See below.)
Imbalance is added from Goodies because
the things found useful in the game are generally
unnecessary in everyday life. If you carry a lot of
Goodies, you must be expecting trouble. Even if
your Victims Stereotype may not ordinarily be
especially imbalanced, the Victim will be more
paranoid, cynical, and unstable than someone
who is comfortable with no items nearby.
Cowardice is added from carrying
Weapons for much the same reasons. Going for a
walk, even in a big city at night, is not dangerous
enough to justify packing a gun or knife.
Superstition may also accumulate on the
grounds of reverse-logic. True, carrying garlic
wont make a Victim believe in vampires.
Nonetheless if your Victim dresses like a walking
spice rack, odds are that your Victim does believe
in vampires.
Cost in Cowardice and Imbalance:
Goodies classed as Weapons have a cost in
Cowardice, Imbalance, and sometimes
Superstition.
Melee Weapons (those used in hand-to-
hand or similar close combat situations) add +1
Imbalance (or +1 Misfortune take your pick).
Ranged Weapons (those used to inflict
Lumps at a distance) add +3 (Imbalance or
Misfortune).
In addition, Weapons add a Cowardice
value equal to their Lumps Dished Out.
Misfortune can be substituted for Cowardice at a
1:1 ratio to cover some or all of this cost if
desired.
Some Weapons (such as Swiss Army
knives) may add extra Imbalance because they
are also Tools.
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Defensive Weapons are those that prevent
Lumps Dished Out and are handled similarly
but the costs are higher. Armour and other
Defensive Weapons add +5 Imbalance. Also, for
every Lump Bounced Off they add +1 Cowardice.
You might feel safer carrying a knife, but nobody
walks around in full riot armour just to buy a
quart of milk!
The table below shows the amount of
Cowardice added when any of the Goodies
therein are selected as Weapons. If they are
simply taken as Trinkets or Tools (see below for
definitions of these terms), they do not have a
Weapon cost.
In the Weapons Table, Ranged Weapons
also add +3 Imbalance and Defensive Weapons
add +5 Imbalance. All other Weapons add only
+1 Imbalance when picked.
To Serve and Protect: It is very
important to remember that police, secret agents,
soldiers, and other armed government types do
not add any Cowardice or Imbalance while
carrying weapons on duty. This consideration is
limited to those weapons that the person is
authorized to use and only applies while on duty.
If a sailor carries around a loaded .38 Special
while on shore leave, that is something else
entirely! It is not unusual for an off-duty cop to
be armed, so they should not have to add any
Cowardice or Imbalance if on call, because they
have to be prepared, but they may have to add the
normal cost if they are carrying Weapons more
often than the EM feels is necessary. It is also
possible that an officer who is on duty may wish
to have an extra gun, but the cost of this should
only be added if the desired Weapons strike the
EM as excessive.
Cost in Superstition: In some instances,
Tools and Weapons may also add to Superstition,
such as whenever they are made of silver, have
been blessed, or are otherwise particularly useful
against Creeps. In these cases, the weapon adds a
number of Superstition points equal to its cost in
Cowardice, plus its cost in Imbalance, for each
way in which it is particularly useful against
Creeps. The more of a believer you are, the more
power you will ascribe to supernatural menaces.
See? Reverse-logic saves the day yet again.
Using Superstition to Work Goodies:
The wonderful thing about Superstition is that it
allows the Tools of the Creep hunter to work.
Whenever a Victim of Circumstance uses Goodies
specifically designed to battle Creeps (crosses,
garlic, silver, sonic plot device rays, and so on,
depending on the nature of the Creep), the Victim
must Exploit his or her own Superstition Flaw to
affect the Creep. Victims with a Superstition of
less than 7 receive a +3 Flaw modifier to their
Superstition if the Goodie is scientifically
devised. This modifier also applies to Gadgets.
If Grace wishes to hold off a Vampire
with her crucifix she must Exploit her own
Superstition to succeed. If she wished to use a
Worbling Techno-Discombobulator on an
advancing killer robot, she would have to get
equal to or less than her Superstition +3. Because
she is more of a sceptic than a believer, and her
Superstition is below 7, she receives the +3 bonus
and has an easier chance of defeating the robot
than of defeating the vampire because her belief
in science is stronger than her faith in less
tangible things.
Exceptional Goodies: Goodies that the
EM views as Exceptional cost double the usual
amount of Imbalance, Cowardice, and
Superstition. See Handling Vehicles, below.
Handling Vehicles: Vehicles are simply
mobile Tools that may also be Weapons. Vehicles
are Exceptional Tools because they make Chases
easier. Vehicles cost +2 Imbalance as Tools
(airborne or otherwise unusual vehicles qualify as
Exceptional) and have a Weapon cost according
to their Lumps Dished Out in a collision.
If vehicles have weapons mounted on
them they have a further Weapon cost for the
added firepower.
Members of the armed forces add no
Cowardice or Imbalance when using military
vehicles to perform their duty. Vehicles need no
other numbers to measure them.
Damage from collisions is covered in
Slicing & Dicing and damage to vehicles is
covered in Crashing & Smashing.
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Appropriate Goodies: Goodies selected
for a Victim should be appropriate for the level of
wealth implied in the Victims Stereotype. The
EM can make exceptions wherever s/he chooses
because being logical is only recommended in
Scared Stiff; it is not mandatory.
Stereotypes dont have a set level of
wealth but one is implied:
1. Anyone who is Reputable, but does
not work for the government or carry weapons, is
wealthy.
2. Anyone who is Attractive is also
usually wealthy.
3. Anyone who is Disreputable is
probably poor unless s/he is particularly artistic.
4. Hoboes are even poorer than the poor.
Anything a hobo has is going to be very ratty-
looking but could function well enough. A hobo
will only have those things s/he might have
scrounged up from other peoples discarded
goods.
5. Everyone who is not rich or poor is
middle class.
Goodie Classes: Goodies come in three
different classes: Weapons, Tools, and Trinkets. It
is a very wise move to keep three different lists of
gear, rather than just one big list of Goodies.
Weapons: A Weapon is any Goodie that
can Dish Out Lumps in Scuffles or that can ensure
Lumps are Bounced Off. Technically, armour and
machine guns are not both Weapons, but for game
purposes they have been stuffed into the same
category. The tables below outline the added
Imbalance and Cowardice from a Weapon, as
well as the Lumps Dished Out (to be added to the
normal variable amount) or Lumps Bounced Off.

Hand Weapons Table IM CW LDO
Ballpoint Pen, Curtain Rod, Elbow, Fountain Pen, Long Fingernails,
Fist, Knee, Large Knitting Needle, Purse, Sharp Pencil, Umbrella.
+1 +0 +0
Billy Club, Bottle, Brass Knuckles, Broken Bottle, Candlestick, Five
Foot Long Chain, Flower Pot, Frying Pan, Horseshoe, Non-Plastic Dish
or Plate or Bowl, Noose, Razor Blade, Scissors, Shod Foot, Wooden
Stake.
+1 +1 +1
Baseball Bat, Cricket Bat, Hatchet, Hedge Clippers, Hockey Stick, Ice
pick, Javelin, Knife, Lead Pipe, Meat Cleaver, Pitch Fork, Spear,
Straight Razor, Wooden 2x4, Wrench.
+1 +2 +2
Axe, Electric Hedge Clippers, Lawn Mower, Meat Hook, Power Drill,
Shovel, Sickle, Sword.
+1 +3 +3
Electric Saw, Falling Chandelier. +1 +4 +4
Chainsaw. +1 +5 +5
Motorcycle +1 +6 +6
Car +1 +7 +7
Jeep +1 +8 +8
Truck +1 +9 +9
Large Truck +1 +10 +10
18-Wheeler +1 +11 +11
Combine Harvester +1 +12 +12
12

Ranged Weapons Table IM CW LDO
BB Gun, Bottle, Flower Pot, Horseshoe, Non-Plastic Dish or Plate or
Bowl, Pellet Gun.
+3 +1 +1
Bow & Arrow, Hatchet, Javelin, Knife, Meat Cleaver, Pitch Fork,
Spear, Straight Razor, .22 Pistol, Wrench.
+3 +2 +2
Axe, Crossbow, 9mm Pistol, 7.62mm Pistol, .38 Pistol, .40 Pistol. +3 +3 +3
.45 Pistol, Little Black Bomb. +3 +4 +4
Flamethrower, .44 Magnum Pistol, Hand Grenade, Rifle, Sub-
machinegun.
+3 +5 +5
Assault Rifle, Grenade Launcher, Shotgun. +3 +6 +6
Machinegun. +3 +7 +7
Air Defence or Anti-Tank Gun (20mm). +3 +8 +8
Air Defence or Anti-Tank Gun (35mm or 37mm). +3 +9 +9
Air Defence or Anti-Tank Gun (40mm or 45mm), Dynamite Stick,
Mortar, Nitro-glycerine Vial.
+3 +10 +10
Air Defence or Anti-Tank Gun (50mm or 57mm), Bazooka, Cannon (3-
lbr.), Rocket Launcher.
+3 +11 +11
Artillery or Air Defence or Anti-Tank Gun (75mm or 76mm or 77mm),
Cannon (6-lbr.), Light Anti-tank Missile.
+3 +12 +12
Artillery or Air Defence or Anti-Tank Gun (85mm or 88mm or 90mm
or 94mm), Cannon (12-lbr.), Heavy Anti-Tank Missile.
+3 +13 +13
Artillery or Air Defence or Anti-Tank Gun (105mm), Cannon (16-lbr.). +3 +14 +14
Artillery or Air Defence or Anti-Tank Gun (114mm or 120mm or
128mm), Cannon (24-lbr.).
+3 +15 +15
Artillery (130mm or 135mm). +3 +16 +16
Artillery (152mm). +3 +17 +17
Artillery (205mm or 210mm). +3 +18 +18
Artillery (230mm or 235mm). +3 +19 +19
Artillery (250mm). +3 +20 +20

Defensive Weapons Table IM CW LBO
Flak Jacket, Football Padding, Hockey Padding, Leather Armour. +5 +4 +4
Chainmail, Heavy Kevlar Vest, Hoplite Armour. +5 +5 +5
Full Suit of Metal Armour (Platemail). +5 +6 +6
Medium Military or Police Body Armour. +5 +7 +7
Heavy Military or Police Body Armour. +5 +8 +8

Tools: A Tool is any object that can be
put to use in the game. Individual Goodies can be
both Weapons and Tools, but not at the same
time. For example, a screwdriver would be a Tool
when applied to screws, but becomes a Weapon if
you declare it to be one when its the only pointy
thing you have available to fight off a Creep.
Imbalance, Cowardice, and Superstition (if
appropriate) associated with this object, when
used as a Weapon, are added as soon as it is
converted (before the Melee begins).
Trinkets: Trinkets are any objects the
Victim carries purely for sentimental or aesthetic
reasons. Clothing, jewellery, and other items that
are unnecessary for reasons already explained, are
Trinkets. An example of a Trinket is a backpack,
13
which is not necessary in the game to hold items
and is not used for any other purpose. Trinkets
are always both harmless and useless, whatever
logic might dictate. Note: objects that serve two
purposes for example a cross that might also be
jewellery may change state in the presence of
certain Creeps. If such a metaphysical event
occurs, the appropriate Weapon costs are applied
immediately.
One Tool vs. Many: Certain Goodies
may appear to be a single Tool but are not. Other
Goodies appear to be many Tools but are only
one.
In all such instances, the EM should
probably count the Goodie as a single Tool.
Identify the cost of the most valuable item
incorporated in the Goodie, and make the Victim
pay for that. If the Goodie is both a Weapon and a
Tool, then add the cost of the best Weapon to the
cost of the best Tool. If the Goodie incorporates
multiple types of weapons (Melee, Ranged and
Defensive), then the best of each type of Weapon
must be paid for and the costs totalled. No
Goodie should be counted as more than one Tool,
one Melee Weapon, one Ranged Weapon, and one
Defensive Weapon unless the EM feels the player
is trying to build the ultimate omni-MacGuffin (in
which case, this Victim will probably encounter a
whole squad of omni-MacGuffin-eating Creeps).
One Weapon vs. Many: Some Weapons
may appear to be disposable but are not treated as
such in the game. Weapons such as grenades,
little black bombs, throwing daggers, javelins,
and so on, do appear to be thrown away, but are
not really lost.
For game purposes, the Weapon is not
written on the list as grenade, with a number to
indicate how many there are. Instead, they are
simply listed as grenades, and represent a
steady supply.
However, in real B-movies, where guns
appear never to run out of ammunition and cars
never run out of fuel, the odd director may wish
to hang a specific scene on the occurrence. So,
while thrown or otherwise disposable Weapons
are always available, it is just possible that the
Evil Mastermind is plotting against your
storehouse of wares or has a special scene in
mind, so this rule of inexhaustibility is subject to
the EMs whims. See Being On the Fritz, below.
Carrying Goodies: During play, Victims
may carry an infinite amount of whatever they
want, so long as none of the items is larger than
the Victim. Any item is instantly ready as desired,
and Victims need not worry about putting
anything away. Larger items are dealt with as the
EM wishes.
Powering Goodies: No item that runs on
any form of power (such as batteries, fuel, bullets
or Finagle Rays) ever runs out except under
special circumstances determined by the EM,
such as Being On the Fritz.
Being On the Fritz: The EM can declare,
at whim, anything to be lost and/or dysfunctional,
although this is usually temporary. Food, shelter,
clothing, and spending money may also be taken
away, however momentarily. Fuel and power can
run out if the EM chooses. A grenade can be a
dud. Guns can jam, misfire, or have the safety
engaged. Cars can have flat tires or other
mechanical difficulties such as throwing a rod,
blowing a cam shaft, burning a valve, stripping a
transmission, dropping a universal joint, or
having a piston exit the engine in the general
direction of Mars. Horses can throw a shoe, shy at
small noises, bite their riders, or stop abruptly
to eat grass, avoid a fence, or simply to admire
the scenery. Donkeys, mules, and camels are orse.
Dont even think about elephants.
Any time the EM declares a Goodie to be
On the Fritz, the Victim subtracts Misfortune
points equal to the Imbalance cost of the Goodie.
Note that declaring a Goodie to be On the Fritz
benefits the Victim in terms of the bad luck due
him. Some of it will have manifested itself so his
Misfortune has points subtracted. You do not get
the original Imbalance, Cowardice, and
Superstition costs back, because you did not
choose to lose the Goodie (see below).
On the brighter side, however, you can
replace the On the Fritz Goodie with a Goodie of
identical cost, without incurring any additional
cost, as soon as you come across something
appropriate or the Misadventure ends.
Spares: It is normal for the EM to
occasionally declare Goodies to be On the Fritz
(see above). It is often a good idea to list spare
grenades, spare daggers, spare gasoline,
spare tires, spare flashlight batteries, spare
bullets, spare money, spare clothing, and so
on before the game begins, to counter Goodies
14
being On the Fritz. Of course, a particularly cruel
EM could also declare these spares On the Fritz.
This is like tourists bringing multiple wads of
cash and packing each in a different spot so he
wont lose everything at once if something bad
happens. Once the game is in progress, your
Victim can only acquire spares in an appropriate
location.

Whenever a nasty EM chooses to declare
a Goodie On the Fritz, the player can cross off a
spare of that Goodie, if there is one, instead of
losing the original. In this case, the EM has the
Victim subtract only 1 point of Misfortune,
instead of a number of points equal to the
Imbalance cost of the Goodie, because the
Goodie was not On the Fritz and he was not very
unlucky.
Limits on spares: The spare must be
identical to the original Goodie. They are only
identical when the form, function, and names are
the same (except for the word spare in front of
the extras).
Power sources such as fuel and batteries,
or ammunition such as bullets, are initially taken
for granted. They are not listed separately as
Goodies on the Victims record sheet. However,
spares are listed, and must be crossed off when
used.
Some Goodies represent a single supply
rather than a single item. This applies to Weapons
like knives. Unlike knives and other multiple
items that count as a single Goodie, a spare is
identical to the original item. It is only counted as
multiple items for the cost of a single Goodie if
the original item was, such as in the case of
spare knives.
Spares only add +1 Imbalance apiece, no
matter what the items, because they are only
extras. However, because they are only extras,
they cannot be used until the original item is On
the Fritz. If multiple spares are carried, they
cannot be used, either. If you wish to have
multiple identical Goodies that are useful at the
same time, you must purchase each of them
separately and at full cost. Example: If you have a
spare gun, you cannot use it until your original
gun is lost or On the Fritz. If you want to use two
guns at the same time, each is a separate Goodie.
You may convert a spare to an actual Goodie
during play, but only if whomever is to own it
incurs the full Flaw costs immediately.
Willingly Discarding Goodies: If a
Victim of Circumstance discards an item that is
not On the Fritz, the Victim subtracts Cowardice,
Imbalance, and Superstition points equal to what
was added from acquiring it.
This is a very important trick for survival.
Dropping a gun at the last moment can be all that
stands between a Victim and a horrible fate,
because it will immediately affect the Victims
Secondary Flaw points. Superstition cannot be
lowered the way Cowardice and Imbalance can.
Giving your crucifix to your Aunt Edna does not
make you an atheist. As the old saying goes,
once a priest, always a priest. Faith does not
crumble as quickly as Cowardice can be
overcome.
Converting Trinkets Into Tools and
Weapons: Trinkets, which are normally useless,
can be remade into Tools and/or Weapons if the
player finds it necessary during play. A Trinket
15
can be converted simply by making sure the new
use is plausible. Upon conversion, the Victim
adds the Goodie cost for the Tool and/or Weapon
it is becoming, plus points of Misfortune equal to
the total points of Imbalance, Cowardice, and
Superstition the Goodie carries.

MODEL CITIZENS

Little Jackie Horner sat in a corner,
eating her curds and whey. When along came a
spider that sat down beside her, Miss Horner
pulled out her thumb and said, Get lost, bum!
Then she stomped on the poor spiders head.
Hey wait a minute that doesnt sound
right. Jack Horner starts out acting like he is
supposed to and then confuses himself with a
rude Little Miss Muffet. Its easy to spot the
problem because everyone is familiar with the old
nursery rhymes, but sometimes entirely new
characters can appear schizoid too. Somehow, we
can sense when a fictional character is not
behaving plausibly, based on what we have
already seen of the character, even if we dont
know how a story ends.
In Scared Stiff, Stereotypes are there to
give everyone an instant handle on your Victim.
Farmers are very different from each other, but
most people imagine they have a good idea of
what the typical farmer looks like. Sometimes,
however, it isnt enough to have a clear overall
image. Sometimes you will need a strong
stereotypical personality that may or may not be
related to the general Stereotype. It adds that extra
bit of depth without requiring lots of work or
seeming TOO well done.
Thats what Models are for.
Stereotypes give you a broad picture so
you can begin to get a solid grip on your Victim.
A Model gives you a firmer outline of a Victims
personality without being too specific, so you can
remain consistent but dont end up exactly the
same as other, similar, Victims.
There are 20 broad personality Models
that can be useful in quickly summarizing a
Victim of Circumstance. Each is painted in broad
brush-strokes, many or all of which will apply to
a Victim of that Model.
Victim personalities should not be entirely
confined to their Model, but by finding the Model
that fits best, they can be played convincingly,
even on a bad day.
Misfortune and Models: If the player
does not choose a Model for his VC, the Evil
Mastermind should give the players Victim +2
Misfortune.
Why? Creeps find it annoying when
people cant be easily pigeonholed. When Creeps
are annoyed, they get hungry.
Adventurer: Competitive, bold,
dominant, energetic, and fickle. Adventurers are
often unaware of other peoples feelings and are
unconcerned with social convention. Thrill
seeking leads to a life on the edge and to overt
romantic pursuits. Extreme personalities can be
guiltless, impulsive, ruthless, hostile, rebellious,
aggressive, argumentative, and destructive.
Bossy: Driven, competitive, confident,
stubborn, dogmatic, and serious. Bossy Victims
are often less able to feel guilt and they mistrust
kindness and warmth. They are easily frustrated,
but are not deterred by pain or punishment.
Thick-skinned, sarcastic, belligerent, and
domineering, but they get results. Extreme
16
personalities can be reckless, combative, sadistic,
abusive, cruel, and rude.
Conventional: Socially and morally
conservative respecters of orthodox ideas;
nostalgic; denies the need for experimentation
and resists change; is loyal, and avoids new
trends. Conventional Victims are married to
family and work and those dependent on the
security they provide, but are confused by
changes in people and evolving social dynamics.
Extreme personalities can be entirely unable to
deviate from a single mundane routine and can
become mesmerized by people who are opposite
to themselves.
Conformist: Socially and morally
compliant respecters of orthodox ideas; nostalgic.
Conformist Victims have a need for
experimentation only as dictated by social
pressure. They are responsible and uncreative, but
are aware of new trends. Conformists are easily
swayed by the crowd and led by strong
personalities, but are very seldom moved to
rebelliousness. Extreme personalities can be
closed-minded, intolerant, and rigid.
Creator: Artistic, intuitive, sensitive,
observant, persistent, unconventional, introverted,
and enthusiastic. A Creative Victim will usually
prefer his or her own company, is forgetful. S/He
is good-natured but insensitive to others,
indifferent to conformity, and reacts emotionally
and subjectively. Extreme personalities can be
accident-prone hermits who are entirely
impractical and dream more often than produce.
Dependent: Shy, insecure, angry, and
anxious. Dependent Victims will be reliant on
others and will take on unpleasant tasks, hoping
to be liked or needed. They will fear
abandonment, rejection, and disappointment, and
require regular guidance, reassurance and
support. Extreme personalities can be submissive,
clinging, silent, overly deferential, and totally
self-sacrificing.
Eccentric: Forgetful, impractical, a little
strange, and self-absorbed. Eccentric Victims will
be good with ideas but not with people, will feel
burdened, will think constantly to themselves.
Eccentrics work well alone but frustrate others.
They have great talent in one or two areas. Will
frequently misread other people, and meander
unpredictably through conversations. Is visibly
disinterested in other people. Harmless, but
oblivious to the feelings of others, and may
behave strangely. Extreme personalities may be
isolated and behave completely bizarrely.
Extremely Feminine (Women Only):
Nurturing, passive, soft, helpless, dependent,
indirect, modest, coy, idealistic, submissive,
yielding, and seductive. Exaggerates naivet,
innocence, and other stereotypical (for B-movies,
at least) feminine behaviours. Assumes traditional
feminine roles. Extremely Feminine Victims can
be emotionally restricted, self-pitying, reluctant to
express anger, and prone to avoid conflict. They
are usually flirtatious, will accept stereotypical
male behaviour, and are unsure of their own
adequacy. Extreme personalities can totally
submerge their own identity to uphold the
feminine ideal and support the men surrounding
them.
Extremely Masculine (Men Only):
Coarse, adventurous, aggressive, worldly,
demanding, hard, unoriginal, ambitious, and
competitive. An Extremely Masculine Victim
exaggerates masculine qualities, hides
powerlessness, fears weakness, is romantically
experienced, lacks individuality, and faces trouble
head on. Extreme personalities can be totally one-
dimensional macho stereotypes.
Extrovert: Outgoing, talkative,
optimistic, expressive, enthusiastic, and
gregarious. Extroverted Victims are neither
introspective nor easily intimidated. They lack
emotional restraint, are comfortable in groups,
avoid solitude, and can lack empathy for the
depression and anxiety of others. Extreme
personalities can be flighty, superficial and
unable to forge intimate relationships with friends
and family.
Fall Guy: Gullible, underachiever,
pleasant, and conventional. Fall Guys may
exercise bad judgement concerning associates,
lack direction, have narrow interests, and risk
being used by others. Such Victims are seldom
analytical. They are comfortable in social
settings, are followers, and are unable to gauge
the motives of other people. Extreme
personalities may be constantly at risk from poor
judgement where people are concerned.
Fearful: Withdrawn, sensitive, insecure,
shy, and unhappy. Fearful Victims avoid stress,
are socially inhibited and uncomfortable with
people. They feel inadequate and long for
17
closeness. They are restrained, sensitive about
appearance, and have a poor self-image. They
fear rejection and know few people well. Extreme
personalities can entirely avoid people, activities,
and situations for fear of feeling uncomfortable.
Flamboyant: Melodramatic,
temperamental, flighty, superficial, indirect,
devious, insecure, nave, simplistic, immature,
vain, promiscuous, jealous, and manipulative.
Flamboyant Victims may be prone to excessive
emotion, suffer self-blame, become depressed
from seeing self as wicked, feel insubstantial,
seek attention, need nurturing and support, and
suffer physical pains related to stress. They often
view self, and many others, as sex objects. They
are easily tempted to infidelity, have trouble
forming deep relationships, are hostile to weak
men and strong women, and can interpret most
behaviour as sexually motivated. Extreme
personalities can find themselves in constant
danger from efforts to grab attention. They can be
disorganised and overwhelmed to the point of
complete dysfunction.
Hyper: Overactive, grandiose, careless,
changeable, selfish, excitable, unstable, elated,
out-going, active, and energetic. Hyper Victims
are usually thrill-seekers, are poor company, and
are often moody. Extreme personalities are prone
to euphoric outbursts and explosive anger.
Loner: Solitary, restrained, unambitious,
passive, guarded, and detached. Loners react
passively to tragedy, respond to significant events
only with difficulty, and they are hard on
themselves. They pursue hobbies that allow
solitude and appear cold and bland due to a lack
of visible emotional reactions. Indifferent to
social approval, Loners fail to exchange expected
smiles and nods, are oblivious to social cues, are
unable to bond well with people, and avoid
emotional entanglements. The Loner is
disinterested in romance, builds few friendships,
finds intimacy frightening, and may view others
as a source of pain. Extreme personalities can be
solitary to the point of living in harsh
surroundings, and may retreat rather than face
even small expressions of emotion.
Martyr: Inhibited, serious, unassuming,
pessimistic, and compliant. Martyrs are dulled to
impotent rage under the surface but are unaware
of their own hostility. A Martyr feels weak, seeks
security, has a negative attitude, feels burdened,
and avoids pleasure due to the anxiety it causes.
A Martyr Victim dulls deep emotions and feels
both depressed and helpless when alone. Excuses
self-denial as a social concern and uses the
poverty of others as a reason for not fulfilling
own desires. Mistrustful, feels mistreated, knows
that self-sacrifice leads to pain but self-image
centres on suffering, proud of own endurance and
aims to prevent being abandoned. Emotionally
needy, this Victim hopes to arouse guilt to foster
love, is unable to feel pleasure, is dependent, and
attracts abusive people. A Martyr complains
without making a change and frustrates and
sabotages those who help. Extreme personalities
attract abusive companions, make no effort to
improve situations, suffer from pain and
depression, feel trapped, deny dangerous
situations, exercise poor judgement in
maintaining dangerous circumstances, and endure
endless abuse.
Passive-Aggressive: Sulky, resentful,
sour, reserved, pessimistic, temperamental,
jealous, and nagging. A Passive-Aggressive
Victim goes from passive, to resentful, to hostile,
to openly aggressive, to feelings of guilt that
restore passivity. These Victims suppress
hostility, look for the worst in things, have a self-
image centered on being misunderstood, are very
angry but seldom violent, and hate those who
have authority. They infuriate others, act
indirectly, and efforts to have them comply with
requests fail. Extreme personalities regularly lash
out at those closest to them.
Personable: Calm, co-operative, flexible,
warm, casual, trusting, and likeable. Personable
Victims are easy-going and good-hearted, but are
not very creative, and seldom take risks. They
laugh aloud, smile often, have insight into others,
are alert to social cues, and work well with others.
These Victims are well liked, join groups for
friendship instead of to support causes and
interests. Extreme personalities can marry too
young, make poor decisions, be manipulated by
others, suffer from hypochondria due to a need
for attention, sell out their values, and socialize to
the point of accomplishing absolutely nothing in
life.

18


Problem Solver: Resourceful,
disciplined, restrained, reliable, and stable. A
Problem Solver faces reality but lacks
imagination, is emotionally steady, and is self-
motivated. These Victims are high achievers and
are pleased with themselves. They will persevere,
are not easily disturbed, will communicate well,
and are slow to panic. Problem Solvers recognize
problems, generate options, make choices, and
follow through. Extreme personalities can be so
self-sufficient that they do not seek help and can
collapse under the weight of having to do
everything themselves. Often surrounded with
people who are dependent on them and can
become weary.
Resilient: Productive, motivated,
responsible, and ethical. Usually happy, the
Resilient Victim copes well with adversity, has a
good sense of humour, faces problems head on,
takes personal control, has definite personal
goals, takes interest in others, can concentrate
well, combats stress with activity, and develops a
strong support network. They usually had a
difficult time growing up and bad luck may
persist, but have learned to cope well. Extreme
personalities may be self-reliant to the point of
being totally unable to seek help from others.
Show-off: Active, alert, outgoing,
immature, expressive, emotional, aggressive,
sarcastic, and ostentatious. The Show-off has a
low tolerance for frustration, is not very helpful,
and is emotionally under-controlled. This Victim
shows off (naturally), is socially effective but
sometimes oblivious to social cues, seeks
admiration, and has trouble sharing. Extreme
personalities can become incredibly aggressive in
an attempt to dominate social situations.
LOW PROFILES
Victims of Circumstance take shape only
slowly. Once Flaws are defined, the VC fits a
Stereotype and belongs to a Model. However, the
Victim is still nameless, faceless, and pointless.
The name and purpose can come later, but even
criminals who are reduced to a serial number get
mug-shots to show off their faces. Even people
who wear paper bags over their heads make a
statement about their looks. Its time your Victim
does, too.
Details of the Profile: There are 13 lucky
details in the Profile. They are: Age, Height,
Weight, Build, Limbs, Posture, Hair Length, Hair
Curl, Hair Colour, Skin Tone, Facial Expression,
Facial Features, and Speech.
Misfortune and Profiles: For every detail
that is not filled in, the Evil Mastermind should
add +1 Misfortune.
Why? Creeps find dark, mysterious
figures incredibly aggravating. If your Misfortune
gets bumped up to 12 or more, you are in for a
nasty accident before play even begins. Playing
an unfinished Victim isnt nearly as satisfying.
Theres less chance of being able to immerse
yourself in the role when you cant visualize who
you are supposed to be. If you were a critic
watching this watered-down role, youd complain
that the Victim is too shallow to be believable and
that it is difficult to care what happens to the
19
character. Both the director and the actor would
be blamed.
Age: This is one point that society deems
vital. Whether measured in years, Halleys Comet
visits, or the reigns of Popes, age should be noted.
A single word is often best. If your Victim of
Circumstance is a Kid, it gets really easy. Jocks,
cheerleaders, dweebs, fashion models, and
students are almost always teenagers. Grannies
are old. Everyone else is usually an adult but
might be youngish, middle aged, over the hill,
old, totally past it, or inveterate droolers.
Height: Vertical stature is near the top of
most peoples lists when it comes to vital
statistics. Whether expressed in feet and inches,
metres and centimetres, or liquid displacement,
height is an invaluable description of your Victim.
A single word can be more vivid than precise
statistics. Stunted, short, average, tall, looming,
intimidating, and gargantuan are all pretty
descriptive terms.
Weight: This is another necessary factoid
for most people. It can be expressed in pounds,
kilograms, the sum of the atomic weight of your
component elements, or any other unit of
measure. A single word is enough for most
people. Flimsy, light, average, robust, generous,
burly, huge, mammoth, and woolly mammoth are
all serviceable descriptions. Try to make your
Victims height and weight make sense together
and match the rest of the details. For example,
most people instantly get a picture of someone
who is both tall and skinny, when the person is
described as a beanpole.
Build: Barrel-chested, broad shouldered,
lanky, average, pot-bellied, wide-hipped.
Limbs: Big feet, big hands, bow legs,
hairy arms, hairy legs, long arms, long legs,
mismatched foot sizes, mismatched arm lengths,
mismatched leg lengths, prominent fingernails,
claw-like fingernails, short arms, short legs, small
hands, small feet, well-proportioned limbs.
Posture: Rigid, ramrod, straight, formal,
average, stooped, bent.
Hair Length: Bald, balding, shaved,
close-shorn, short, medium, long, waist-length,
knee length.
Hair Curl: Straight, spiked, kinky, wavy,
or curly.
Hair Colour: Platinum blonde, blonde,
dirty blonde, strawberry blonde, red, auburn, red-
brown, light brown, brown, dark brown, black,
streaked, green (go for it).
Skin Tone: Milky, alabaster, fair, mid-
tone, tan, olive, or dark.
Facial Expression: Blank, bright-eyed,
cheerful, dour, haughty, piercing, proud, smiling,
frowning, morose, sneering, grimacing, serene,
evil, gloating, or squinting.
Facial Features:
1. Eyebrows: sparse, plucked, bushy,
or missing.
2. Eyes: deep-set, glad, frightened,
hurt, impenetrable, intense, or soulless.
3. Nose: bent, big, pug, broken, cold,
dainty, flat, missing, noble, Roman, red,
scarred, or like a pickle left out too long in
the sun.
4. Skin: soft, clear, blemished, dry,
oily, peeling, pimply, leathery, scarred,
tattooed, or weathered.
5. Beard and/or moustache: braided,
dyed, short, sparse, scraggly, full, or long;
Van Dyke, Fu Manchu, walrus, bristly,
narrow, like a caterpillar temporarily resting
under his nose.
20
6. Cheek bones: craggy, flat,
prominent, high, or sunken.
7. Ears: flat, prominent, puffy
boxers, big, small, dainty, or nibblesome.
8. Overall appearance: handsome,
ugly, beautiful, gamin, elfin, frightening, or
like it was put together by Picasso.
Speech: Accented, fast, gravely, growly,
halting, lilting, lisping, loud, mousy, musical,
nasal, quiet, sharp, shrill, slow, squeaky, steady,
stuttering, warbling, whiny.
Once all 13 details are filled in and the
Profile is finished, it should be double-checked to
make sure you like the full picture given by the
assembled details.
EFFORTLESS
EXCLAMATIONS
A Word of Warning: Of the whole book,
this section is certainly the most inappropriate for
tender eyes. Worse than the terror-filled pages
common throughout the rest of these rules, this
section exposes you to the vilest obscenities
possible. Included only out of completeness, I
urge you not to utter any of these phrases in polite
company. I also urge you to keep this vulgar
knowledge from your mother. If you are under
the age of 18, vulgarity is illegal where you live,
or you are easily offended or highly
impressionable, please skip this section.
Continuing means you accept the full
consequences of reading this material and hold
the author blameless.
Classic Exclamations: For the daring,
there are a number of classic terms of
consternation appropriate to Scared Stiff. Here
are the 30 most offensive: barfola, blast, blimey,
crikey, criminy, cripes, darn, dear me, doggone,
drat, egad, gadzooks, gee-whizz, golly, golly-gee,
good grief, gordon bennet, gosh, great balls of
fire, gum, holy hannah, holy moley, jeepers,
jeeze, jiminy cricket, jinkies, sacre bleu, struth,
sweet mercy, and zounds.
Terms of Disbelief: As disbelief is
natural in any situation where the unusual
becomes usual, several terms have become
famous for expressing incredulity. The most
disbelief-ridden 30 are: applesauce, bafflegab,
baloney, blarney, bull, bunkum, chicken cheese,
claptrap, cobblers, crackers, fiddlesticks, fiddle-
faddle, flapdoodle, garbage, gobbledygook, guff,
hokum, hooey, horsefeathers, malarkey,
meshugana, nonsense, piffle, poppycock, pshaw,
rubbish, spinach, stuff and nonsense, tommyrot,
and twaddle.
Rigorous Abuse: There are also a number
of terms for those truly daring and naughty
enough to call someone a fool for presenting a
ridiculous story. The 30 foulest insults of all time
are: airhead, blockhead, cheeseball, chump,
clown, cluck, ditz, dodo, doofus, dork, dud,
dumdum, fathead, goofus, goon, knuckle dragger,
jerk, kook, newt, ninny, numbskull, rube, sap,
schmendrick, schnook, stooge, turkey, wiseacre,
yokel, and yo-yo.
Using Exclamations: Every Victim,
Chump, and Innocent Bystander should have a
favourite term chosen from each of the three
types. Incredulity, astonishment, frustration, and
anger will all have to be expressed in colourful
ways. If a Victim of Circumstance starts play
without all three favourite Exclamations listed,
the player should add +1 Misfortune for every
one that is missing. This shouldnt be neglected,
because the +3 Misfortune points that could be
added from putting a Victim together hastily can
really suck.
Again, if a Victim isnt colourful s/he
probably isnt important enough to bother
keeping around.
AN "E" FOR
EFFORT
Do the words "Fanana Fana Fo Fony"
mean anything to you? Did you arrive on a horse
with no name? You might not appreciate our
playing name games, especially if your name is
Tony or Sally, but there is an important point to
it. In Scared Stiff, any Victim who isnt firmly
established early on is guaranteed to be dog
21
chow. It doesnt matter if a team of veterinarians
didnt develop the Victim; s/he is still in trouble.
Your Stereotype, Model and Profile
should give you as much of a character sketch as
you will need to portray your Victim in all your
hammy glory. Unfortunately, there are times
when you will need to know just a pinch more
about this Victim such as his or her name.
Developing Victims: There are three
main ways of establishing someone as important:
1. The Victim has a full and
interesting name.
2. The Victim has a clearly defined
gender.
3. The Victim has a background and a
fairly interesting personality.
If one or more of these three things are
missing you just know the characters days are
numbered. And why not? Creeps figure that if the
Victim doesnt put an effort into living, s/he
should probably be doing something else. In the
game, these three things determine the initial
Misfortune of Victims and Innocents.
Names: The first point is simple. Being
eaten is the most probable reason for your birth if
you have no name or have just a first or last
name. Since you barely exist, youll hardly even
feel the Creep eat you.
If a Victim of Circumstance or Innocent
Bystander has no name, s/he adds +3 Misfortune.
If a VC or IB has only one name s/he adds +2
Misfortune. This means only a given name or
only a surname. In case it needs to be said,
"Doctor." is not a given name (at least not in this
universe). Furthermore, if the name that a player
has is judged by the EM to be mundane, an extra
+1 Misfortune is added. This is added to the
normal +2 Misfortune assigned if the VC or IB
has only one name.
Mundane names are those that seem
generic. Think in terms of Smith or Thompson.
Each part of the world has its own equivalent of
Smith. In Poland it might be Kowalski, in Wales
it may be Jones, and in China it might be Chan.
The important thing is not that you should study
the census records, but simply whether the EM
thinks that is a very common name for the VCs
nationality. One half of the name can carry the
whole thing if it is interesting enough. John Smith
is mundane, but Missouri Smith is not. Missouri
Fountainhead is even better of course. Sir
Randolph Whistleton Twickham-Feines may be
over the top (even though thats the real name of
a modern-day British explorer).
Sex: Yes, sex. In the age of political
correctness gender is a very popular word.
Gender is a grammatical classification for French
nouns. Words have a gender; people have a sex.
There are only two main choices so it
shouldnt be very hard (and a few other more
complicated options for the truly funky). When in
doubt, always make the Victim the same sex as
the Victims player. If you want to randomize
things a bit more, toss one of the other players
and see which way s/he lands.
Drag Queens should have an easier choice
than most, instead of a harder one. They are
always men, but women have their equivalent in
tuxedo-clad, black tie male impersonators. Some
would point the finger at mimes, and whole books
have no doubt been written on this fascinating
subject.
Background and Personality: The last
point is that each player should start with some
22
idea of the Victims background and personality.
It doesnt have to be much, and it especially
doesnt have to be good, but it does have to be
there. It is also important for the EM to give his
IBs some background and at least a one-
dimensional personality. Dont go to as much
work as the players unless the Innocent is going
to be a suspect in a mystery Misadventure, but do
give it some thought.
These three steps will ensure that Victims
are fun to play and will never be confused with
the Innocents. Besides, why should the VCs be
watchers when they can be doers?
Total Misfortune Added at Start: If the
Victim doesnt have a basic personality at start
s/he adds +2 Misfortune. If s/he is missing a
background s/he adds another +2. If the VC is
missing both, thats a total of +4 Misfortune. A
player who develops personality and background
later can subtract half this Misfortune. The Victim
will be better off for adding these points, but is
still penalized for bringing a shallow Victim to the
party. The necessary choice of Model, Profile
details, Exclamations and the details required to
make a basic Effort, Victims can start with well
over the 11 Misfortune that is the maximum for
staying in play.
It is possible to Buy the Farm before play
and have to remake a Victim before he is even
used. Thats a rare concept in game design (and
you would have to be a traveller to distant places
to find another game where that was the case). I
think you will be rewarded if your Victim Profile
is not left mostly blank. Wheres the fun if there
arent any risks?
It might be useful now that you have read
all the rules for making a Victim of Circumstance
to actually create a Victim as an example and run
through all of the steps. I will pick a name for our
example Victim of Circumstance because it is
helpful to do so now, even despite the fact that a
player could normally wait until the end to do so.
I will name our example Victim Grace Fuller.
The first thing to do is to pick a stereotype
and I will go with something that sounds fun and
proactive. A Tinkerer would be a good Stereotype
for an example. She can devise and construct
unusual Trinkets, Goodies, and Gadgets, and
these skills, which will be important during play,
give her a -1 Ignorance Flaw modifier.
Tinkerers arent Attractive by default but I
can choose to make her Attractive if I want to. I
might picture her as somewhat pretty, but most
Stereotypes are not Attractive unless the player
decides to list them as such. As it happens, I do
picture Grace as Attractive, especially since it
adds to the usefulness of the example to have her
be an exception. Because of this, Im adding +1
Misfortune and a whole lot of curves.
Being that she is a Tinkerer she is
Disreputable and that will be important in play.
23
Once noted, however, it does not affect anything
else until play starts.
Primary Flaws are the next things that
need to be done now that her Stereotype,
Reputability and Looks are decided. There are 20
points to get rid of and the lower each of the three
Primary Flaws is, the better.
Weakness should be first. She doesnt
have to be butch, even if she didnt spend much
time cooing over boys. A Weakness of +8 will be
more than sufficient. Weakness represents her
whole physique, so although I can still picture her
as muscular-looking, she will have a poor
constitution.
Clumsiness is next after Weakness. Grace
Fuller is a Tinkerer and therefore probably wasnt
popular in her youth. If she was unpopular as a
child, she likely wasnt a cheerleader later in life.
Although she is Attractive now, she likely
bloomed late. She might be more agile than
normal, but as she isnt all that fit, it is enough to
make her Clumsiness a bit lower than her
Weakness. A +7 Clumsiness is fine based on that
logic.
Ignorance is the final Primary Flaw to
consider. With an 8 and a 7 already assigned to
Weakness and Clumsiness, that leaves only 5
points that have to go into Ignorance. The 1
Ignorance modifier will be applied before she is
finished, but not just yet.
The numbers all add up to 20, so I have
spent the right number of points, and each of the
Primary Flaws is at between 1 and 10. So far; so
good.
[Imagine I had not just assigned points to
Graces Flaws, but elected to roll them instead.
Rolling the dice three times, I get 7, 5 and 8
(4+4=8; 2+3=5; 3+4=7). You can assign each of
the three rolls to each of the Primary Flaws in
whatever order seems best for you.
Hint: the idea is to make the three rolls,
then to decide which of them youd prefer to
attach to a specific Flaw. By some eerie
coincidence, I have rolled numbers identical to
those I would have chosen if assigning points.
How much more convenient can life get?
Since she is prone to colds and the flu, it
is best to put her worst score in Weakness. That
gets rid of the 8. I have a 5 and a 7 left, but given
her Stereotype as a Tinkerer, its probably safe to
assume that she is smarter than she is agile, so I
will leave her best score for Ignorance and put
the 7 in Clumsiness.
Now you see why its also preferable to
select a Stereotype before you roll the Primary
Flaws. It gives you a semi-logical reason for
assigning values to particular Flaws. I suppose
you could go about it the other way, picking a
Stereotype based on the Victims Primary Flaws,
but Ive tried it that way and its harder. With
only the 5 left, that goes into Ignorance. The 1
Ignorance modifier will be applied before she is
finished].
The Primary Flaws are each at between 1
and 10. So far; so good.
Secondary Flaws are next, but they are
simple to assign for now. Like everyone else,
Grace starts with Cowardice, Imbalance and
Superstition scores of 1 each.
Tertiary Flaws are even easier. Again, like
everyone else, Grace starts with 0 Lumps, but her
Misfortune is +1 because I opted to make her
Attractive when it was not the default for her
Stereotype. Misfortune is a very, very bad thing.
Luckily, most Victims of Circumstance start out
with 0 in both categories. However, even starting
at +1 (due to my opting to make her Attractive
when her Stereotype does not default to it),
Graces Misfortune isnt nearly high enough to
worry about.
Lets subtract that 1-point modifier from
Graces Ignorance now (because she is a
Tinkerer, remember?). That makes her Flaws:
Weakness: 8 (Flabby)
Clumsiness: 7 (Average)
Ignorance: 4 (Very Bright)
Cowardice: 1 (Fearless)
Imbalance: 1 (Wise)
Superstition: 1 (Rationalist Pawn)
Misfortune: 1 (Shhh, dont wake
the Creeps)
Lumps: 0 (Unhurt)
Before doing Goodies, it is wise to take a
second and think about what level of wealth
would be plausible for Grace. Although Grace is
Attractive, she wasnt automatically Attractive,
so there is no reason to assume shes wealthy.
She is Disreputable without being truly artistic
(such is the lot of Tinkerers), so it is most likely
that she is poor.
24
Grace isnt apt to have any Weapons
around, any more than anyone is. Nonetheless,
she would be likely to have a Swiss army knife.
The list might look like this:
Swiss Army Knife
Grace probably has lots of Tools. A fair
list might be:
Tool Kit
Duct Tape
Rope
Flashlight
Blessed Silver Crucifix on Chain
Grace only has one Item that is a Spare:
Spare Batteries
Grace probably has a few Trinkets too.
Trinkets will cover her typical attire. She will
have many other pieces of clothing but there is no
need to detail it all. The list might look like this:
Baseball Cap
Faded Bluejeans
Comfy Sweater
Canvas Top Rubber Soled Sneakers
Big Black Leather Purse
Navy Blue Heavy Wool Coat (Winter)
Windbreaker (Spring and Fall)
Lavender Floral Print Dress (Parties)
A Swiss Army knife is a Weapon and
several Tool items such as a spoon, bottle opener,
scissors, tweezers, screwdriver and corkscrew
(which could cost 2+1+1+1+1+1+1=8). If the EM
doesnt simply declare the knife a single item, the
player should declare most of the itemised
functions to be Trinkets, much as others are
called variously Weapons or Tools.
An automotive repair kit could be treated
as a Weapon (because of the wrench and/or tire
iron). However, if it is only used for fixing cars,
the Tool cost is only +1 and there is no added
Cowardice cost. If the Cowardice cost is not paid
for weapon-like items in the repair kit, they
cannot be used as Weapons. However, the wrench
could be converted to a Weapon later if the
Cowardice cost is paid before its use.
A large machinegun would be a Ranged
Weapon. Add a metal shield and it becomes a
Defensive Weapon, too. Affix a bayonet for no
good reason and it is a Melee Weapon as well.
Drop the whole thing on a truck and youve
turned it into an exceptional Tool. Adding small
spikes to the metal shield is not going to make
this set-up so much better that an EM needs to
charge for further Melee Weapons. However, if
you really want to make this whole thing add
more to your Superstition Flaw, you can always
spring for silver bullets. Grace doesnt need
anything fancy, luckily.
Grace only carries one thing that could be
multiple Goodies, and that is her toolkit. The
kindly EM ruled it was one item earlier on,
because Graces didnt want to delineate what
was in the toolkit or find all kinds of interesting
uses for what it might contain. (Clever of her,
what?)
She also wasnt interested in using any of
the wrenches or whatever might be inside as
Weapons. Consequently, the EM will treat Grace
as having a toolkit and not a collection of
individual Tools. This will change later, of
course, if she reaches into her toolkit and pulls
out a battery-powered nail-gun.
Grace carries a lot more stuff around than
most. Her Imbalance and Cowardice will reflect
this. The Imbalance and Cowardice from her
Weapon (the knife) are each straightforward. She
adds 1 point of Imbalance because it cant be
thrown and 2 points of Cowardice because it does
2 Lumps. The Imbalance is starting to add up, so
she decides to add +1 Misfortune instead of the
+1 Imbalance for the Weapon.
The EM gives the standard +1 Imbalance
to her for each Tool, except for a car shes picked
up along the way, which is deemed exceptional
and rates +2. The Imbalance is still too high, so
she will elect to pay +1 IM (Imbalance) and +1
MI (Misfortune) instead of +2 IM)
The toolkit is worth only +1 Imbalance so
long as Grace doesnt try to make more of it than
is reasonable.
The Trinkets each add nothing. They
always add nothing. Of course, that means they
cant be used for ANYTHING, no matter how
much sense it might make. They can be converted
25
into Tools, along with incurring their proper
costs, later if necessary.
However, Grace also has a special item
that adds Superstition. She has the Silver Crucifix
on a Chain that her Grandmother had blessed by
the priest and that she promised she would wear.
The Imbalance cost was only +1 because she
made it a Tool and it doesnt have a lot of
conventional uses even then. However, the EM
gives the standard +1 Superstition for each way in
which it seems particularly useful against Creeps.
Because it is blessed, silver and a crucifix, he
feels that is useful three times over.
The total for all Graces Goodies is +2
Cowardice, +7 Imbalance, +3 Superstition, and
+2 Misfortune. The players list looks like this:
Swiss Army Knife (+2 CW and +1 MI)
Toolbox (+1 IM)
Duct Tape (+1 IM)
Rope (+1 IM)
Flashlight (+1 IM)
Spare Batteries (+1 IM)
Blessed Silver Crucifix on Chain (+3
IM)
Car (+1 IM and +1 MI)
Baseball Cap
Faded Bluejeans
Comfy Sweater
Canvas Top Rubber Soled Sneakers
Big Black Leather Purse
Navy Blue Heavy Wool Coat (Winter)
Windbreaker (Spring and Fall)
Lavender Floral Print Dress (Parties)
Modifying her Flaws according to her
Goodies leaves them noticeably higher:
Weakness: 8 (Flabby)
Clumsiness: 7 (Average)
Ignorance: 4 (Very Bright)
Cowardice: 3 (Bold)
Imbalance: 8 (Wary)
Superstition: 4 (Undecided)
Misfortune: 3 (Do you smell
something Creepy?)
Lumps: 0 (Unhurt)
Once Goodies are decided upon, all the
personality factors are left to do. Model must be
decided first. After reading over the choices
carefully, Grace seems to fit the Creator Model
best. It contains a pretty good summary of the
image that is developing of her and suits the
Tinkerer Stereotype well.
Because I have chosen a Model, no
Misfortune is added to Grace (there is a penalty
for not filling out this information).
The 13 pieces of her Profile must come
next. Age is first. Grace is definitely youngish.
No doubt about that.
Height is after that. Grace is Attractive.
As such, its a safe bet she has decent legs and, if
thats the case, then its very likely that she is tall.
Of course, she was a late bloomer and despite
always having been tall, no one ever predicted
she would end up pretty. Perhaps she is
unnervingly tall. A good word might be
looming.
Weight is next. With her weak
constitution and slim figure? She is light and
obviously so. Lord only knows why you had to
ask.
Build can be picked now that Height and
Weight are known. Grace is tall enough and leggy
enough that she is probably slim, but she has such
a nice figure that she can only be described as
curvaceous.
Limbs are important. Grace probably has
hairy legs if she is more concerned with puttering
than she is with dating. That should be enough to
make her limbs stand out. A man can only be so
sexist on any given day.
Posture is also good to know. Since Grace
is a Tinkerer, she probably has great posture but
spends a lot of her time bent over things. I can list
her as straight.
Hair Length is a nice detail. Grace is a
Tinkerer. Short hair requires regular trimming
and long hair demands constant grooming. Both
styles require too much maintenance. Her hair is
probably kept at shoulder length.
Hair Curl comes next. She probably just
lets her hair hang down and leaves it naturally
kinky.
Hair colour is our next concern. Grace
should be dirty blonde. Shes flaky like a blonde
but smart like a brunette.
Skin tone can be suggested by the pieces
of the Profile I have already decided. A dirty
26
blonde might as well be fair skinned. Like her
hair, her skin is light but not overly so.
Facial Expression will help shape first
impressions. Grace should smile. Who cares if it
makes sense? It will help make her seem
sympathetic. Put on a happy face.
Facial Features are also good to know.
Eyes are the window to your soul. Hurt eyes will
help Grace seem very deep and intense on those
long, cold nights when decent role-playing takes
too much effort. It will also explain her constant
awkward grin.
Speech can be important in making an
impression once the more superficial stuff is over
with. A mousy voice will add the final touch to
the image of Grace as someone who nearly ended
up sexy but is just too grating not to be annoying.
After filling in all 13 details of the Profile,
Grace has no need to raise her Misfortune as a
penalty for missing information.
That Extra Effort is important now. The
name must come first. I had a name for Grace
from the outset but I might not have. The EM
feels Grace Fuller is a full and interesting name
and even found Grace a bit over the top, so there
is no Misfortune added for a lack of a good name.
As it happens, Grace Fuller qualifies as a solid
pick.
A clearly defined gender is vital. As
should be clear by now, I picture Grace as female.
I havent left anything blank here either,
so she adds no extra Misfortune.
Some favourite Exclamations are nearly
the last thing to consider. Grace takes a cue from
her granny when it comes to expressing her
aggravation and cries, Crikey! Grace dismisses
any idiotic idea as malarkey, just as her granny
used to. Grace calls ridiculous people turkey.
Granny again.
Now that she has all three exclamations
set down, Grace can utter some classic and
memorable lines. Imagine her saying: Crikey!
Thats malarkey! Youre such a turkey!
A background and fairly interesting
personality are last. Grace isnt hard to sum up.
She fits the Tinkerer Stereotype and the Creator
Model. Her Profile has pinned down her physical
details. She is easy to picture and just as easy to
write up. Lets prove it.
Grace Fuller can have a seemingly abrupt
personality, who is nonetheless nave and not
really horrible at heart. She isnt too rotten, or too
easily forgivable, so she does have a few friends,
but she was never very popular. Our rotten kid
grew up to be an isolated individual who tinkered
with anything she could get her hands on.
Graces good looks are more recent and
shes certainly not wealthy. Many people avoid
her because her tinkering makes her appear to be
a strange recluse. In truth, she is just another
boring stooge from middle-class suburbia. Shes
one with the vast white-bread-eating, baloney-
munching masses.
She is 58 tall, weighs about 130 pounds,
and has pale, smooth skin and long, straight,
blonde hair. She is lanky but with good posture.
Grace has big eyes, a button nose, high
cheekbones, and a small mouth, but her relative
social isolation has left her feeling just a little
hurt, most of the time.
Grace prefers solitude so she can tinker
undisturbed, but always seems to get drawn back
into the world by her curiosity and love of
melodrama.
Grace can be sensitive, creative,
introverted, emotional, forgetful, observant and
persistent. She sees the big picture, sometimes
feels misunderstood, mistrusts authority and tends
to reach out for reassurance from stronger
personalities when scared. Grace tends to
suppress her need for freedom to avoid
arguments, but slowly grows resentful of external
constraints and severs ties with people around
her.
Grace is more curious than she is anything
else, and that is why she tinkers and gets drawn
into odd situations. She is austere and happily
makes do with what little she has. Less visible,
but still notable, are her indifference to peer
pressure and her occasional insensitivity both of
which can make her difficult to be around, despite
her general good humour.
I have filled in the blanks yet again, so she
adds no extra Misfortune. Isnt she a well-
developed example? Grace has managed to dodge
all the potential Misfortune adds for now, but is
sure to stumble over more opportunities in play.
Grace is somewhat too realistically developed for
a Scared Stiff Victim, but that since it makes her
colourful and over the top rather than clinically
three dimensional, it is okay. Take a look at the
finished product.
27
Name: Grace Fuller
Stereotype: Tinkerer
Model: Creator
Weakness: 8 (Flabby)
Clumsiness: 7 (Average)
Ignorance: 4 (Very Bright)
Cowardice: 3 (Bold)
Imbalance: 8 (Wary)
Superstition: 4 (Undecided)
Misfortune: 3
Lumps: 0
Age: Youngish
Height: Looming
Weight: Light
Build: Curvaceous
Limbs: Hairy Legs
Posture: Straight
Hair Length: To Shoulder
Hair Curl: Kinky
Hair Colour: Dirty Blonde
Skin Tone: Fair
Facial Expression: Smiling
Facial Features: Hurt Eyes
Speech: Mousy
Disbelief: Malarkey
Exclamation: Crikey
Abuse: Turkey
Goodies:
Knife (+2 CW and +1 MI)
Toolbox (+1 IM)
Duct Tape (+1 IM)
Rope (+1 IM)
Flashlight (+1 IM)
Spare Batteries (+1 IM)
Blessed Silver Crucifix on Chain (+1
IM; +3 SU)
Car (+1 IM and +1 MI)
Baseball Cap (+0 IM)
Faded Bluejeans (+0 IM)
Comfy Sweater (+0 IM)
Canvas Top Rubber Soled Sneakers (+0
IM)
Big Black Leather Purse (+0 IM)
Navy Blue Heavy Wool Coat (Winter)
(+0 IM)
Windbreaker (Spring and Fall) (+0 IM)
Lavender Floral Print Dress (Parties)
(+0 IM)
[This is where your description of her
would go normally but I have just finished
describing it in depth above and there is no need
to repeat the whole thing again].
G
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S
S
SENSIBLE
SCEPTICISM
Our society was founded upon the fine
traditions of scepticism and rationalism. Young
people today have no higher concern than to
honour the intellectual traditions of the great
scientists and philosophers of our time. They
know to accept all ideas with a grain of salt.
The most important thing to remember is
that no matter how often strange things happen or
horrible monstrosities go on a rampage, it
couldnt possibly ever happen again, no matter
how much it seems like it is about to. It is also
important to remember that whenever
strangeness, weirdness, or terror have happened
in the past, the strange reports were likely wildly
exaggerated and there is a rational explanation for
it all, even if it cant be found. Most people forget
weird tragedies faster than last years musical
chart topper.
No matter how foolish any given action
might seem from an objective and omniscient
point of view, the Victim walking into danger will
consider all choices reasonable because s/he
knows that nothing untoward ever happens where
s/he lives.
Balancing Imbalance, Cowardice,
Superstition and Misfortune: Victims of
Circumstance can use opportunities (and
potentially dangerous situations) that sometimes
arise to trade one Secondary Flaw for Misfortune.
Below are 50 example actions that can be
taken (if the opportunity arises) and their effect
on Secondary Flaws and Misfortune (with
possible consequences up to the EM):
Accept a gift from a strange man who
claims he is about to die or from a maniac who is
due to be executed (-1 CW, -1 SU, +2 MI).
Back out of a room without looking (-
1 IM, +1 MI).
Befriend a suave, elegant gentleman
that everyone seems frightened of (-1 CW, +1
MI).
Close doors and windows that you had
thought were already closed but that are currently
open (-1 IM, +1 MI).
Discover that your clothing has been
lost or badly torn up but you are luckily okay (-1
IM, +1 MI).
Dismiss anniversaries of horrific
events as unimportant (-1 SU, +1 MI).
Dismiss unsettling noises as being
caused by the wind or something equally
harmless (-1 IM, +1 MI).
Dismiss visions in a mirror that are at
odds with what should be reflected as figments of
your imagination (-2 SU, +2 MI).
Dismiss visions through a door of a
room other than the one that should be there as
figments of your imagination (-2 SU, +2 MI).
Dont bother checking the back seat of
your car for things that should not be there (-1
IM, +1 MI).
Dont bother turning the lights on
inside a dark building (-1 CW, +1 MI).
Dont use any more caution than
normal in a blackout or other power outage (-1
CW, +1 MI).
Take home bits of meteorite or comet
that have just fallen from the sky and are still
smoking or glowing or were recently smoking or
glowing (-1 CW, -1 IM, -1 SU, +3 MI).
Find small towns that are either
strange or empty to be quiet and cozy (-1 CW, -1
IM, +2 MI).
Go somewhere alone when you dont
have to (-2 CW, +2 MI).
Ignore a warning from a small child or
animal (-1 CW, -1 SU, +2 MI).
Investigate dangerous places that
appear to have recently become safe in order to
make sure they are (-1 CW, +1 MI).
Investigate mysterious noises while
assuming their source is friendly or harmless (-1
IM, +1 MI).
Open containers marked with
radiation, biohazard, dangerous chemical, or
other warning signs (-1 CW, +1 MI).
React to something frightening with
great machismo (-1 CW, +1 MI).
Read an evil book aloud as a joke (-2
SU, +2 MI).
Receive a warning from a strange
artefact or exotic person, and do the opposite of
whatever they say just to prove how foolish they
are (-2 SU, +2 MI).
Resist efforts to respond to strange
events with caution or alarm (-1 SU, -1 IM, +2
MI).
Run to the scariest place that is within
a reasonable distance during a Chase because you
arent thinking straight (-1 SU, +1 MI).
When indoors, run upstairs when
chased or confronted by a Creep (-1 IM, +1 MI).
Search the basement or attic even less
cautiously than everywhere else because they are
so seldom used (-1 CW, +1 MI).
Sit in the back seat of your car
whenever it is parked because you are not
worried about your inability to reach the drivers
seat (-1 IM, +1 MI).
Sit or stand in, on, above or below a
grave, tomb, crypt or mausoleum (-1 SU, +1 MI).
Squat over Creeps who appear to have
Bought the Farm and give them a poke to make
sure they are not playing possum (-1 CW, +1 MI).
Stay at a weird or spooky hotel, motel,
resort, or cabin as if it was not at all unusual (-1
SU, +1 MI).
Take a shower to unwind once any
obvious, immediate dangers appear to have
passed or have not yet asserted themselves (-2
IM, +2 MI).
Take the elevator (-1 IM, +1 MI).
Tell people what you are looking
forward to in the future (-1 IM, +1 IM).
Tell people that you will be right
back when going somewhere alone (-1 CW, -1
IM, -1 SU, +3 MI).
Throw your weapons far away as soon
as whatever you were in a Scuffle with appears to
have Bought the Farm (-1 CW, +1 MI).
Treat formerly possessed or
transformed friends without suspicion after they
seem to have returned to normal (-1 CW, -1 IM, -
1 SU, +3 MI).
Treat strangers with power tools
casually and assume they are harmless (-1 CW,
+1 MI).
Trust a little old lady implicitly; eat
and/or drink any treats offered (-1 IM, +1 MI).
Trust friends implicitly when they
return from strange encounters acting oddly (-1
SU, +1 MI).
Turn off a paved road onto a gravel
road when driving (-1 IM, +1 MI).
View strange goop pouring from the
faucet as neither strange nor dangerous, despite
the fact that it is obviously not water (-1 SU, +1
MI).
Walk past slightly ajar doors without
being more cautious than normal (-1 CW, +1 MI).
Wear the clothing, jewellery or other
property of people who are either dead or totally
unknown to you (-2 SU, +2 MI).
Say, Lets split up, when searching
any large area and do it (-1 IM, +1 MI).
Go off alone on a search when it is
suggested by the loonie tune above {-2 IM +2
MI}.
Proclaim loudly, Heck, Im not afraid
of them things and prove it (-2CW, +1 MI).
Barricade you and your party into
rooms with only one exit the one you just
covered (-2 IM, +2 MI).
Ask the nice man in the lab coat just
exactly what he thinks hes doing here {-1 IM, +1
IM}.
Stand really, really close to an
Innocent Bystander who is complaining of an
awful bellyache (-1 IM, -1 CW, +2 MI).
Push your way into a room, corridor,
cave, or temple covered by really thick strands of
sticky silk (-1 IM, -1 SU, +2 MI)
Ask, What was that? Then look over
the side of the boat to find out. (-1 IM, +1 MI).
Superstition and Adding Superstition:
Victims of Circumstance who make use of useful
information accumulate Superstition.
A Victim adds +1 Superstition every time
s/he talks, acts, or thinks in a manner that appears
to indicate that s/he agrees with any viewpoint of
which modern science is sceptical. Superstition
should only be added once for any piece of
knowledge. Once a Victim has used the
knowledge, and added the Superstition, the
Victim never again adds Superstition for using
that piece of knowledge. However, if the Victim
later inspires others to use that knowledge, they
can also acquire +1 Superstition, once.
Superstition is also added when Victims
encounter things that should not be, as
described in the Going Mental section. A Victim
who stares down terror adds Superstition, as s/he
realizes that the world may be a little weirder than
previously thought. Anyone who runs, however,
adds even more Superstition, because s/he
obviously found the Creep very convincing.
Adding Superstition can be dangerous.
When a Victim of Circumstance reaches 12
Superstition s/he realizes things man was never
meant to know and vanishes forever under
mysterious circumstances.
Players will be well versed in how to
defeat your off the rack Creep and will want to
use such information. It is really easy to spot such
insight. Statements such as Vampires are
vulnerable to wooden stakes, or werewolves
fear silver, and mummies burn better than
matchsticks are prime examples.
Subconscious Superstition: The player is
the subconscious of the Victim. If a player does or
says something that the Victim didnt, you know
the Victim was thinking it. Dont ever let anyone
tell you differently. Superstition is often a very
subconscious thing anyway.
MUSHY STUFF
Feel free to close your eyes as you read
this. This, the most horrific section of all, deals
with kissing and other light grappling. Any
Victim can make out with any consenting partner.
This is called Mushy Stuff. Dancers, Drag
Queens, Hair Stylists, Political Radicals, and
Singers may feel free to adopt an alternate
lifestyle without fear of persecution.
Timing the Romance: Victims may only
engage in Mushy Stuff while Holed Up after a
Chase. Innocents only go in for Mushy Stuff
when asked by a Victim. For each Moment
wasted on Mushy Stuff, the Victim may subtract 1
point of Cowardice and 2 points of Imbalance
Unfortunately, the Victim also adds 1 point of
Misfortune. Creeps just hate it when Victims start
kissing.
Stereotype Modifiers: Members of
Attractive Stereotypes will only engage in Mushy
Stuff with other Victims and Innocents who are
also Attractive.
Dweebs, High School Principals, Kids,
Priests, Teachers, and Tinkerers who engage in
Mushy Stuff should subtract the same amount of
Cowardice but add double the Imbalance, as
should their partners.
Saying Goodbye: At the end of the
Misadventure, everybody gets 1 free Moment of
Mushy Stuff, without having to add a point of
Misfortune. This is the one occasion where
members of Attractive Stereotypes may engage in
Mushy Stuff with anyone. In fact, an Attractive
Victim who approaches a Stereotype that is not
also Attractive subtracts an extra point of
Cowardice.
Dweebs, High School Principals, Kids,
Priests, and Tinkerers still dont get any final
Mushy Stuff unless they suffer the penalty, but
they do not have Imbalance doubled under these
circumstances. Their partners also pay the
penalty, although not at the normal double cost. It
has been rumoured that High School Principals
sometimes suck face with Teachers, but the
possibility is too horrible to bear thinking about.
WOEFUL
WARNINGS
Some days just dont work out. The
strangest things start happening, people
disappear, a fiend shows up, chases you into a
building, smashes it down to get at you, and
nearly nabs you in a brawl before you can flee.
After not listening to your mothers advice about
never talking to weird strangers, you decide to at
least follow her lesson about always finding a
policeman whenever in trouble. Looking like a
bag lady on a bad hair day, you enter the station
raving about giant homicidal chickens. You know
they are bound to listen to you because they can
see how passionate you are. Now that the nice
man is mumbling something about dementia
praecox or the butterfly farm, you realise they
have dealt with strange phenomena before
Being Taken Seriously: Whenever you
try to warn others about a menace, you must
Overcome your Superstition score to convince
them that you are not a loon.
Innocents cannot convince other
Innocent Bystanders of anything implausible.
Victims have a +3 Superstition
modifier when dealing with any Reputable
Innocent Bystander except priests.
o Reputable Victims add a -3
Superstition modifier to attempts to be taken
seriously so, in effect, they usually suffer no
modifier when dealing with other Reputable
Stereotypes and their full 3 when dealing with
everyone else.
o Disreputable Victims add an
additional +3 Superstition modifier when trying
to Be Taken Seriously. They are therefore suffer
the +3 when dealing with most Stereotypes, but a
total of +6 when trying to Be Taken Seriously by
Reputable Stereotypes.
Everyone gets a further Superstition
modifier of -3 if the menace is spawned by
science.
GOING MENTAL
Adding Cowardice, Imbalance,
Superstition and Misfortune from Frights: The
way most people add Cowardice, Imbalance, and
Superstition is through Goodies, but Victims of
Circumstance have a second way to add
Imbalance, and that is from directly confronting
terror.
When a Victim of Circumstance is faced
with the sudden shock of a Creep or other grisly
sight, the Victim must Overcome Cowardice. If
this fails, there are four options:
Faint (add either +2 Superstition or +3
Misfortune). Anyone who chooses to Faint is
counted as unconscious for the rest of the Spot
and cannot do anything but will be ignored by
Creeps.
Grit His/Her Teeth (add either +1
Imbalance and +1 Superstition or +3 Misfortune)
Run Screaming (add either +1
Cowardice and +1 Misfortune or +3 Misfortune).
Most often, a Chase will ensue any time someone
Runs Screaming from a Creep. Creeps are a lot
like dogs that way.
Repress (add +2 Imbalance or +3
Misfortune). Anyone who opts to Repress the
Fright will not remember the event after the Spot
has passed and cannot record the Creep as having
been encountered for Superstition of Frights.
High Cowardice, Imbalance, and
Superstition: If your Victims Cowardice,
Imbalance and/or Superstition reaches 12 or
more, the Victim Goes Mental, incurably, and can
no longer participate in Misadventures. You will
have to make another Victim whose sanity has
not gone west. It is perhaps better to be killed in
action, unless you want the Victim to come back
maniacal and fiendishly brilliant. Just make sure
your Victims death isnt mysterious. Sometimes
it is best not to stay to realize the full horror of
what s/he encounters.
Repetitious Frights: Whenever Creeps
get lazy and tire of finding new and interesting
ways of dealing with those they terrorize, they
may leave behind scenes that are as sickening in
their repetition as they are in their depravity.
There will come a time when the EM
declares the Spot to be: Yet another blood
spattered room, with disembodied heads strewn
about like empty beer bottles at a frat house. This
ghastly scene bears the mark of the perennially
perverse mountain madman, in that it is identical
to his previous six craven crimes.
This is the time to allow the Victims to
plead clemency. Yet another identical mess is not
going to scare them so soon after the first few.
Depending upon the grisliness of the Spot,
Victims should not have to Overcome their
Cowardice for multiple scares that are more or
less the same. They become desensitized after the
first time. For especially terrible sights, the EM
can make them try a second, or even a third time,
but it should never go beyond that. They will
have become acclimatized for the duration of the
Misadventure.
In further Misadventures the EM is well
within his or her rights to scare the Victims again
with the same sort of thing, because enough time
will have passed for them to forget the full
impact of what they saw.
The EM should try to make the terrors as
varied as is reasonable in each Misadventure. It
will make for more fun anyway. After all, if the
EM bides his or her time, s/he can catch everyone
with guards down and it will have all the more
impact later.
Victims are puppets, to terrorize at will.
An EM who remembers this will be an artiste of
evil and a gore gourmet!
GADGETS
You probably have enough Goodies to
make yourself feel safe. These Goodies will be
sufficient most of the time but what if Doglizza
is attacking and you need something really
funky?
When Doglizza is taking liberties with
Lady Liberty and the professor of nerd studies
informs you of the need for a Macro Canine
Enthusiasm Debilitator, it would be good to know
where to find one. Unfortunately, youre going to
have to build one, as the corner store is unlikely
to carry them.
Defining Gadgets: Macro Canine
Enthusiasm Debilitators, and anything else that
cant be bought through normal channels, are
Gadgets. Thats what makes them different from
Goodies; they just dont lie within the bounds of
ordinary, common items. I do mean ordinary
items. It doesnt matter if the Russians are
currently selling MiG-29s to civilian buyers, they
dont qualify as being generally available.
Scientists and Tinkerers: Only a
Scientist or Tinkerer who has expertise in the
field can design a Gadget. Whereas Victim
Scientists and Tinkerers are widely schooled,
Innocent Scientists and Tinkerers are all
specialists. The EM will have declared the area of
knowledge when he designed the Innocent. It is
always best to carry your own scientist with you,
because any you find later may not have the
required expertise.
Limits on Tinkerers: The key difference
between a Tinkerer and a Scientist is that a
Tinkerer cannot design any Gadget that is capable
of defeating Creeps with one or more Flaw
modifiers of +3. Tinkerers are also unable to
design any Gadget that strikes the EM as being
very cutting edge. The EM decides the definition
of cutting edge and doesnt have to be fair or
consistent.
Although a Tinkerer cannot design
Gadgets that represent advanced technological
breakthroughs, s/he may still build them, once
they are designed, if the Scientist is unable to
follow through.
Making Gadgets: How do you make a
Gadget yourself? First you need to obtain the
Goodies necessary to build the Gadget. You may
also require certain Tools to assemble the Gadget
from its Goodies. Your EM should make up a list
of the Goodies and tools required to build the
Gadget.
Required Goodies: It might seem like the
tricky part is deciding how many Goodies must
go into a Gadget. The answer is actually very
simple. The minimum number of Goodies
required for a Gadget is equal to the total of the
positive Flaw modifiers of the Creep its
designed to defeat. Negative Flaw modifiers
dont enter into the equation.
If a Creep has modifiers of +2 WK, +1
CL, 1 CW, and +0 SU, then any Gadget
designed to defeat him/her/it would require 3
Goodies.
A Creep never has more than +12 in his
total Flaw modifiers, so any Gadget can be
designed given the right people working on the
project. A +12 Creep is very formidable, so its
only right that the Gadget required to defeat it
should be comprised of 12 Goodies.
Using Gadgets: The tougher the Creep,
the more that has to go into any Gadget that could
defeat it. Thats straightforward enough. A
Gadget has the ability to affect any one Creep, of
the type it was designed to fight, so long as the
Creep is within the line of sight of the user. All
the Victim using the Gadget has to do is to be able
to see the Creep clearly with his or her own two
eyes. Eyeglasses and contact lenses are
acceptable aids for sighting but binoculars and
radio telescopes are not unless the EM rules it is a
special circumstance. Of course, if the Victim
wants an area effect, s/hes out of luck unless the
Gadget was designed and built as an area effect
Gadget in the first place.
Affecting Multiple Creeps at Once: If
designed to do so, a Gadget can be built to affect
more than one Creep, within sight, each time its
used. For every Goodie added when designing the
Gadget, the number of Creeps affected doubles.
This cant be done later, unless the whole Gadget
is redesigned and reassembled. Luckily you can
reuse Goodies. Even though Gadgets can affect
more than one Creep, they must all be of the
same type of Creep and all must still be within
sight of the Gadget wielder.
Finding Goodies: Gadgets can be built
entirely out of Goodies. Luckily, the necessary
items can be obtained in the same manner as any
other Goodies. You can run all over town and
search. Its even nicer when someone can Push
His or Her Luck and find one of the Goodies
lying around the house.
You have to Push Your Luck once per
Goodie and you cant get Gadgets this way, but it
can help immensely. Otherwise, getting to
wherever the Tools and other Goodies are stored
may be dangerous....
Assembly Time: Once you have
everything you need to make the Gadget, you will
have to calculate the time it takes to assemble it.
It takes 1 Spot for every Goodie that goes into the
final Gadget once all these parts are built or
otherwise obtained. Thus a Gadget that requires 4
Goodies to assemble would take 4 Spots to build.
If Tools strike the EM as logically
necessary to assemble his chosen Goodies, using
these Tools (which are themselves Goodies) does
not add to the time, except for the time it takes to
find any Tools the Victims dont already have.
Tool use should never add time to the normal
assembly time.
Cutting Corners to Save Time: Once
you know the total number of Spots needed to
assemble a Gadget, based on the number of
Goodies required to build it, you can save time by
Cutting Corners. There are seven ways to Cut
Corners.
Gadgets can be engineered to be Large,
Bulky, Immobile, Fragile, Unreliable, Hazardous,
and/or Complex. The EM must make sure each of
these factors comes into play and s/he can
interpret the words (Large, Bulky, Immobile,
Fragile, Unreliable, Hazardous, and Complex) in
any way that sounds like fun. Each of these must
be a real disadvantage.
Saying that an Immobile Gadget gets
mounted on a pickup truck isnt allowed, because
then the Gadget isnt truly Immobile any more.
Its just tough cheese if the Creep chooses not to
come to where you built your Immobile Finagle
Ray. Try standing out in the road and shouting,
Hey, Creep! Over Here!
Any, some, or all of these options to Cut
Corners can be exercised so that a scientist can
sacrifice one or more user-friendly features in
order to produce an item quickly. Every way a
scientist Cuts Corners can shave off a Spot from
the necessary assembly time. Each of the seven
features subtracts one Spot. Therefore, the time
needed to produce a Gadget can be cut by up to
seven Spots.
Hurrying: If for some reason you have
Cut Corners as much you can, but still need to get
the job done faster, you can Hurry. The
scientist(s) may subtract one Spot from the time
necessary to complete the Gadget for each point
of Misfortune added. Any Scientist or Tinkerer
working on the Gadget may be the one to add the
Misfortune for this, as long as it is a Victim who
does so, and not an Innocent.
The EM may not opt to make the research
Take Longer, but the EM may still declare
Goodies to be used as parts and Gadgets to be On
the Fritz. In this case the scientist subtracts 1
Misfortune for every Goodie On the Fritz. If it is
a Gadget that is On the Fritz, the scientist
subtracts 1 Misfortune for every Goodie that went
into making the Gadget. As usual, this cannot
drop Misfortune below 0.
GADGET DESIGN
In learning how to make a Gadget and to
calculate the time required to assemble it, we
have got ahead of ourselves. Although the above
calculations must come first for the EM, it is the
design of a Gadget that must come first during
play. Once an EM knows what goes into a
Gadget, s/he can determine the difficulty of
designing it.
In trying to design a Gadget, the designer
is Mentally Challenged. The Victim (or Innocent)
must Overcome Ignorance. Of course, designing
Gadgets isnt easy. The attempt suffers a positive
Flaw modifier equal to the number of Spots
required to assemble the Gadget, before Cutting
Corners.
Therefore, in the case of the Gadget above
that takes 4 Spots to build, the penalty would be
+4 Ignorance.
Design Time: Designing a Gadget takes
even longer than building one. For every attempt
you have to make before succeeding in designing
the Gadget, a day passes. Its a good thing that
you can take as long as you need. Just remember
that while youre dithering about in the lab, the
Creeps, Innocents and other Victims must be
allowed to play out the long days until you find
the needed answers.
Saving Time in Design: Sometimes there
is just no way to design a Gadget in the time
necessary. The penalty may require a target of
more than 12, or you may just not have a month
to spend on the project. Thats when you need to
call for assistance. Having another scientist to
help you can ease the strain immensely. Just
remember that your assistant must be working
within the required field if that assistant is only an
Innocent Bystander. When two Scientists (or
Tinkerers) pair up, the one with the lower
Ignorance may make the attempt and the penalty
is reduced by 2. The above Gadget would have its
penalty cut from -4 to -2. Thats a big help.
Design Teams (Committees): A pair of
Scientists (or Tinkerers) can accomplish a lot, but
what if the design is still too big for two people to
handle? Big jobs may require a team of crack
specialists. The drawback to this is that the crack
team is usually made up almost entirely of
Innocent Bystanders. Thats why its called a
team of specialists. They cant have a great
general knowledge like you can. The trouble is
that these so-called eggheads will each have an
Ignorance of 8.
The problem with a committee is that you
are forced to use the Ignorance of the dumbest
person present whenever youre Mentally
Challenged. This means you usually have to
Overcome an Ignorance of 8 (you can try for the
Innocent). Just pray there isnt a government
facilitator present, or youll be working with an
Ignorance of 11. A Victim of Circumstance
always makes the attempt, if there is one
involved, as Innocent Bystanders dont initiate
actions on their own. If there is more than one
Victim helping, the one with the highest
Ignorance should try.
The nice thing about committees is that
they reduce the Gadget design penalty by a
number equal to the number of experts on the
committee (including yourself).
The Gadget above would have its 4 die
roll penalty removed entirely if 4 scientists were
working on the problem.
Committees are even better when you get
a large number of brilliant minds working
together. Luckily, the government can easily
make a large number of highly trained specialists
available quickly if they choose to. The EM must
simply rule that the threat is large enough,
immediate enough and convincing enough in the
minds of the bureaucrats for them to act
decisively. Some fast-talking and successfully
Overcoming Superstition can put this together
simply enough.
If the number of committee members
exceeds the number of the penalty, you actually
receive a bonus. Simply subtract the original
penalty from the number of scientists designing
the Gadget to find the bonus.
Thus, if 13 scientists were working to
design the Gadget discussed throughout this
section, the penalty of 4 would be replaced by a
bonus of +9 (134=9).
Size Limits on Gadget Design Teams:
Unfortunately, too many cooks spoil the witchs
brew. No more than 13 Scientists and/or
Tinkerers may work to design a Gadget.
Otherwise the penalty is unaffected by the team
of scientists. Furthermore, you still have to tryl
using the lowest Ignorance on the team. Even
esteemed messianic figures usually limit
themselves to 12 disciples.
SERIOUS SELF
HELP
Self-help involves more than college,
veggies and New Age books. Self-help in Scared
Stiff is all about lowering your Misfortune, and,
ultimately, your other Flaws too.
There are many ways for Victims to lower
Misfortune built into the game. The EM should
take advantage of these. An EM must feel free to
allow some Misfortune to carry over from one
Misadventure to the next, of course.
Concluding Misadventures: At the end
of every Misadventure, subtract 1 point each
from Cowardice and Imbalance because the
world is now a much safer place.
Victims of Circumstance subtract 1 point
of Misfortune for each Innocent surviving if, in
the EMs judgment, they role-played reasonably
well.
OR, Victims of Circumstance subtract 2
points of Misfortune for each Innocent surviving
if, in the EMs judgment, they role-played
extremely well. The minimum on all Flaws is
still 1, however.
There should be several Innocent
Bystanders in every Misadventure, so that a few
can Buy the Farm and the Victims will still have a
reasonable number left over to save.
Lowering Other Flaws: If a Victim of
Circumstance is ever so lucky that some Flaws
would have been reduced below 1 (were it not for
the rule that Flaws cant be reduced below 1),
s/he gets to lower other Flaws instead.
For each Flaw that might have been
reduced below 1, the Victim may lower any
Primary or Secondary Flaw by 1 point. In case it
needs to be said, these Flaws cant be reduced
below 1 either
10
1
THE E.M.S
GENRE RULES
CRAZED CREEPS
How Creeps Work: Creeps move, act,
and Attack based on modifiers to the Flaws or
Misfortune of their Victims. Creeps must Exploit
the Flaws of their prey. Innocent Bystanders have
default Flaws of 9 (except for Lumps, which start
at zero (0).
A Creep can acquire Lumps, which serves
purely as a measure of when the Creep is out for
the count and defeated. However, Creeps cannot
Buy the Farm and may return in future
Misadventures with renewed vigour if the EM
wants them to. Mysterious deaths are especially
juicy. Any VC who obstructs the efforts of a
work-a-day, terror-minded Creep to conceal
his/her/its death should reap gobs of Misfortune.
Creeps may possess certain powerful
aspects (Personal Gimmicks) or use certain
powers or Weapons (Interpersonal Gimmicks) to
make the lives of Victims, Chumps, and Innocents
more interesting. However, these Gimmicks may
have limits imposed by certain Defects.
Creeps may appear to be unconquerably
determined and unstoppably proficient in their
chosen trade, but their seeming advantages may
be tempered through personality Flaws known as
Foibles.
Flaw Modifiers: The Flaw modifiers that
represent the particularities of a Creep range from
0 to 4. This number can be either a bonus (+), or a
penalty (), and the higher the number, the more
effective the Creep will be. The same modifier is
always used, and it modifies the same thing in
each instance.
Whether Creeps are trying to Exploit a
Victims Flaws or Victims are Overcoming their
own against a Creep, the modifier is applied to
the Victims Flaw. Bonuses always work for
2
Creeps, while penalties always work against
them.
The Flaw Modifiers expand
geometrically, with each step having double the
bonus of the last. The steps are -4, -2, -1, 0, +1,
+2 and +4. The 0 is considered to be double the
1, and the +1 is considered to be double the 0.
There are, therefore, three negative doublings and
three positive ones.
It seems obvious that a Creep with a
positive modifier to Weakness and Clumsiness is
both strong and fast, but what about the other
Flaws? Firstly, Ignorance, Imbalance and
Superstition modifiers should prove unnecessary.
Cowardice modifiers represent how mind-
wrenchingly terrifying a Creep is.
Example Flaw Modifiers: There are
examples beside each number for each of the
Primary Flaws to help you picture what the
numbers represent. The Weakness Modifier of
Creeps represents much bigger leaps in ability
than seem possible due to the much greater
resiliency of Creeps. The examples are not meant
to pair up exactly with the scale for Victims.
Weakness Mod. Example
-4 Rabbit
-2 Cat
-1 Dog
0 Human
+1 Cougar
+2 Lion, Tiger or Bear
+4 Elephant
Clumsiness Mod. Example
-4 Inept
-2 Clumsy
-1 Awkward
0 Human
+1 Cat
+2 Monkey
+4 Mongoose
Cowardice Mod. or
Superstition Mod.
Example
-4 Creepy Human or Scary
Animal
-2 Giant Animal
-1 Giant Insect
0 Typical Creep
+1 Walking Corpse
+2 A Creep That Defies
Normal Geometry
+4 Any Creep That
Demands You Redefine
Most of Your
Fundamental
Assumptions
Creeps and Weapons: Some Creeps like
to use Weapons and others dont. Each Creep will
have his own sense of style when it comes to
rending his Victims limb from limb. No particular
method is better than another, but creativity is
always worth a little more, even from Russian
judges.
Creeps relying on natural Weapons (such
as claws, teeth, tails and fists) will Dish Out 0
Lumps for bludgeoning Attacks or 2 Lumps for
piercing, stabbing, cutting or slashing Attacks.
Natural weapon Attacks of both kinds will also
Dish Out the normal variable amount, plus the
Creeps Weakness modifier as an added bonus.
Creeps that are somewhat humanoid and
smart enough to bother may use Weapons. These
Creeps often like to help their Victims Buy the
Farm in a new way each time. These Creeps
simply use the Lumps Dished Out appropriate to
the Weapon and add the normal variable amount.
If the Weapon is listed in boldface the Creep also
gets his Weakness modifier added to Lumps
Dished Out. Sometimes the old Weapons are the
best.
Creep Size: Once the EM has figured a
Creeps Flaw modifiers and the Creep is armed
and dangerous, it is time to estimate a Creeps
size. Size matters (in this case) as it determines
how much a Creep can wreck in a single Moment.
Any figure the EM feels is appropriate will do.
Most of the larger Creeps have heights (or
lengths) that are evenly divisible by 5 to keep the
math simple. They range up to 200 feet tall. (If
3
you wish to be metrically inclined, thats very
roughly 60 metres.)
Smaller Creeps range in height from 1
inch to 4 feet, 11 inches (2.5 centimetres to 150
cm), but usually come in increments of 1 foot (30
cm and thats it for the conversion; youre now
on your own). Tails, when present, may be as
long as the Creep, but arent nearly as thick
around.
Creeps are often proportioned somewhat
unevenly. They have arms and legs half as long
as they are tall and they have hands and feet of
either 1/5 or 1/6 their height. That makes them
look kind of funny (in a snaggle-toothed, hideous
sort of way), but theyll grow to any lengths to
keep the math easy and allow easy calculation
when it comes to the Creep smashing things with
her/his/its various bits.
Creeps Lumps: Creeps are Knocked
Senseless when they take a number of Lumps
equal to double their height (or length) in feet. If
you insisted, for some peculiarly nationalistic or
other strange reason, in converting their
dimensions to metric measures, the author will
now provide yet another conversion factor,
because his editor insisted he do so. He doesnt
want to do this because his math skills suck big-
time, but the editor is meaner than he is.
Imperial Unit Approximate Metric Equivalent
1 Inch 2 Centimetres or 25 Millimetres
1 Foot
1
/
3
Metre
1 Yard 1 Metre
1 Mile 1 Kilometres
1 Pound 0.5 Kilograms
If there are any extra inches or centimetres
in the height of the Creep, add 1 extra possible
Lump. When a Creeps Lumps reaches this
maximum he/she/it is Knocked Senseless.
A 6-foot tall Creep would be able to take
12 Lumps, while Creeps between 6 feet, 1 inch
and 6 feet, 11 inches could take 13.
Doglizza, being 100 feet long (50 feet tall)
can take a staggering 200 Lumps before being
Knocked Senseless. That is another important
difference between Doglizza and the super-strong
dachshund. The dachshund, at 2 feet long, can
only take 4 Lumps despite also having a +4
Weakness Modifier and 12 Lumps Bounced Off.
CREEP GIMMICKS
4
Many Creeps have one or more Gimmicks
that help make them unique. After all, they need
something to compete with other Creeps in
todays overcrowded market for villainy.
Gimmicks are the Creep powers that,
whether based on superscience or supernatural
abilities, really make the Creeps special and more
than a simple list of Flaw modifiers.
Vampires are interesting, not for being
merely strong and fast but also because they can
transform into wolves, rats, bats, and fog. They
cannot be killed through normal means, can
manipulate the weak willed, and will drain the
life from the innocent at the drop of a bat.
As much as an overabundance of lawyers
in recent years has made this sort of terror seem
commonplace, vampires are, nonetheless, scarier
for these extra talons, er talents, than if their
undead powers merely made them athletic.
Gimmicks may appear to make a Creep
impossible to defeat, but the power(s) are often
offset by Gimmick Defects.
Choosing Gimmicks: Specific Creep
Schticks are too varied to outline fully but are
luckily well known to most people. Possible
Gimmicks are also numbered beyond reckoning.
As youll see, Creeps are similar to
Victims and other characters in that they only
become lovable in their own twisted, ghastly, and
unique ways when all their facets are put
together.
Whatever Creep you choose for a
Misadventure, it is fairly easy to know whether
Creepy should have any Gimmicks and what they
might be.
Vampires can transform themselves,
hypnotize people, and control certain animals.
Werewolves and zombies are invulnerable to
normal Weapons. Medusa could turn people to
stone with a look and traveling salesmen are
impervious to the word "NO!"
Doing Without Gimmicks: Most Creeps
gain their unique status by way of superficial
factors such as appearance and mannerisms, and
can be outlined mostly through their Flaw
Modifiers. Sometimes, however, a Creep can
seem to have a Gimmick when he doesnt. This is
especially true of invulnerability.
If a tough Creep seems to deserve an
invulnerability Gimmick, he may just be
bulletproof because of Lumps Bounced Off.
Differentiating Similar Gimmicks:
Judicious Creep design will yield infinite
possibility without profound differences in the
Gimmicks themselves. Where Creeps do have
Gimmicks, the same Gimmick can be made to
seem different if it has a different Defect attached.
While werewolves, mummies, vampires,
and zombies all have the invulnerability Gimmick
as their main schtick, werewolves suffer the
Defect of being vulnerable to silver, mummies to
fire, vampires to wooden stakes, and zombies to
being very easily decapitated. Please, dont ask
me how I know this. I dont have time.
Superscientific vs. Supernatural
Gimmicks: Gimmicks can be supernatural or
superscientific. It doesnt matter which, they
work the same either way, but the look and feel
will have to be changed as appropriate for each
Creep.
Sometimes a Gimmick is simply a change
of Flaw modifiers when an otherwise ordinary,
dull scientist reveals his evil side by drinking a
potion that makes him stronger, faster, and
(sometimes) hairier.
The Gimmick doesnt necessarily have to
belong to the Creep, either. The Gimmick is
counted as the Creeps, no matter how he came
across it.
A fugitive could steal a mixture granting
invisibility.
Gimmick Types: In Scared Stiff there are
only two types of Gimmick: the Personal
Gimmick and the Interpersonal Gimmick. Each is
very simple to use.
The Personal Gimmick is any Gimmick
that only affects the Creep and can succeed
automatically. Examples: a vampires ability to
5
turn into a bat, an invisibility serum, or a 500-
pound, sapient slime moulds ability to assume
any shape.
Interpersonal Gimmicks are those that can
affect others. Examples: the vampires ability to
hypnotize its Victims and to suck blood through
special (but quite charming) teeth or the slime
moulds ability to paralyse and dispose of many
Victims, Chumps, and/or Innocents at once when
it drops from hiding in the light fixtures.
Medusas stony gaze also qualifies here.
The person(s) on whom they are used can
resist Interpersonal Gimmicks. Sometimes the
logic behind the method of resisting is obvious;
other times it is not. A resistance can be found to
anything. For example, the resistance to a
vampires mesmerism is personal strength of will.
You can resist the Medusa by averting your eyes.
Unfortunately, the only way to resist the slime
mould is to be elsewhere when it drops.
Resisting Interpersonal Gimmicks:
Unfortunately, the more Superstition a person
has, the greater the effect that fear, hypnosis,
magic, lycanthropy, and other Creep Gimmicks
will have. Whenever Creepy tries to affect
someone with insidious Gimmicks or abused
technology, s/he/it must Exploit the targets
Superstition. If the attempt is successful, the
Victim of Circumstance, Chump, or Innocent
Bystander falls prey to the evil Gimmick.
The important thing with Interpersonal
Gimmicks is figuring out whether they work.
Victims can, of course, choose not to resist, but
they should always have the option of trying. If
they do make the vain effort to resist, the EM
(now playing the part of the Creep) must try to
Exploit the Superstition of the person resisting. If
the EM succeeds, the Creeps Gimmick takes full
effect and, if not, it is totally ineffectual.
Gimmicks are all or nothing.
It is important to remember that if a Creep
Gimmick is superscience instead of being
supernatural, there is a modifier for a low
Superstition score. Victims with a Superstition of
less than 7 receive a +4 Superstition Modifier
when Attacked by high tech or science-based
Gimmicks. The sceptical are much more easily
taken in by hi-tech stuff.
Grace Fuller (who has a 4 Superstition) is
visiting the elderly but stern Granny Fuller (who
has a Superstition of 8) when a subsonic hypno-
frequency sound wave blankets the town. The
evil Herr Doktor Versand von Verpflichten is
trying to control the minds of everyone in the area
with his new device and so far his plan has been
working. The players are not told what is
happening (their Victims are unaware of the mind
control attempt at first because it is working), but
the EM has them make a incidental attempt,
calling it an attempt to Notice something.
Grace Fuller has to Overcome her Superstition of
4, now raised to 8 due to the +4 modifier for the
effect of superscientific devices on anyone with a
low Superstition Flaw. Granny has no special
modifiers. They must each get 9-12 (higher than
the 8 Superstition they are both effectively at for
this Challenge. As Grace gets 6 and Granny 10,
the old woman watches unsurprised as young
Grace turns glassy eyed. In a little while, when
Granny fuller realises this is more than the
normal distraction common to the young, she will
no doubt try to snap Grace out of her trance, and
the EM may allow Grace another chance to resist
the effects.
Adding Superstition from Resisting
Gimmicks: A Victims Superstition goes up by 1
point the first time s/he tries to resist each specific
Creep power. There is no additional penalty for
subsequent encounters with the same Gimmick. It
is a good idea for the player to keep careful track
of which Creeps have been encountered and the
Gimmicks resisted.
If a male Victim tries to resist the
seductive call of an evil mermaid, his Superstition
goes up by 1. (Female Victims, of course dont
take a similar hit because theyre immune. That is
why Mermen exist). If he encounters mermaids
ever again he will never have to add another point
of Superstition to resist the deadly call. Of course,
if the mermaids have other Gimmicks, or a
different type of Creep has an identical Gimmick,
he will have to add Superstition once again for
resisting the Gimmick. (And this time, of course,
being Female may not be advantageous.)
Gimmicks can be used in any way that the
EM finds logical and (or at least) exciting.
However, theres more
6
Gimmick Defects: Just like the rest of us,
Creeps are stuck in a world over which they have
only limited control. For every Gimmick the
Creep knows, there must be a corresponding
Defect an equally noteworthy vulnerability or
limitation that offsets its seeming power. The
more powerful the Gimmick the bigger the Defect
should be.
Every suit of armour has a chink, no
matter how seemingly perfect. Creeps are people,
too (more or less), even if they happen to be
monsters.
Just as with Gimmicks, the Defects
appropriate to a Creep should be fairly obvious.
Of course, adding a little spice to a Creep by
developing different Defects never hurt.
GIMMICK DEFECT
Empathic Brains Influence Immobile
Glob Growth By Size of Thing Eaten Takes Double Lumps From Electricity
Mummy Invulnerability Buys Farm When Takes Lumps From Fire
Vampire Hypnosis Repelled By Holy Items
Vampire Invulnerability Buys Farm With Wooden Stake Through
Heart and Will Not Easily Awaken As
Victims Get Ready To Stake Him
Vampire Transformation Repelled By Garlic
Werewolf Invulnerability Buys Farm When Takes Lumps From
Silver
Zombie Invulnerability Buys Farm When Easily Decapitated
Defects need not be obvious, but it
shouldnt be too difficult for the players to
discover them by observation and application of
keen wit. See Taking Advantage of Defects,
below.
Fatal Defects and the Invulnerability
Gimmick: It is especially important to discuss
how to balance the invulnerability Gimmick. A
Creep should not be totally invulnerable, even if a
Gadget will still fix his bacon but good! A
common Defect to counter invulnerability is to
have something that will not only affect the
Creep, but will deal with him in a single action.
Vampires can fly, hypnotize, and have
superhuman strength. But, catch them in the
daytime, while theyre asleep, with a wooden
stake Or, slime moulds can go anywhere and
eat anything, but if they stick their little
pseudopods into an electrical outlet.
Seemingly Irrelevant Defects: It is very
important to remember that a Defect must
actually limit the Creep. If it is not a real
limitation, it is not a true Defect. It is not enough
to merely limit the invulnerability; the Defect
must balance it by making the attack utterly
effective in defeating the Creep. With a bit of
practice it is easy to make Creeps that are
especially vulnerable to things that would finish
absolutely anyone.
It is easy to see that a werewolf could be
defeated by one shot with a silver bullet, while a
single bullet no matter what it was made from
might only wound another Creep. But, what
about those Creeps whose vulnerability is
something that would end the days of practically
anyone? I mean, take your basic citizen and
whack off his head (zombie), stab him through
the heart with a wooden stake (vampire), or turn
him into a human torch (mummy) and its pretty
much time for the Last Post. However, Creeps
have that little extra
Zombie heads are especially easy to cut
off. They leave their necks conveniently wide
open to attack.
Vampires also are notoriously bad at
protecting their hearts against staking; they cant
seem to hear people sneak up while they rest.
Once again, they are more vulnerable to a stake in
the heart than anyone else.
7
A mummy will be utterly consumed by
fire within moments and should avoid barbeque
parties, yet they persist in hanging around places
that use torches for light.
Personality Defects: Outside the scope of
normal Foibles (see below), Creeps can have
more unique psychological limits. The
possibilities for interesting Defects are endless,
and the best make Creeps truly tragic figures.
Some say a werewolf is drawn
instinctively to attack the one person s/he loves
most. Some ghouls are struck powerless by the
presence of a truly innocent child or maiden.
These attractions certainly go beyond the bounds
of the Loneliness Foible.
Taking Advantage of Defects: Victims
will of course want to use a Creeps Defects to
their advantage, and that is only natural.
Knowledge has a price of course. Many players
will already know how to turn a Vampire into
shish kebab, and will eventually discover the
Defects of other, less well known, Creeps.
Taking advantage of Creep Defects adds
Superstition. The first time a Victim admits to, or
seems to use the knowledge of a Defect, it adds 1
point of Superstition to the Victims Superstition
Flaw. After that, the knowledge can be admitted
and/or used as often as the Victim wants with no
further penalty provided were dealing with the
same, specific type of Creep. Again, it is a good
idea for the player to keep careful track of which
Creeps have been encountered and which of their
Defects the Victim has admitted s/he knows
about.
Unconquerable Creeps and Foibles:
Why not just make Creeps really, really powerful
and totally unbeatable? The answer, of course, is
that if you dont give your players some teensy
chance of defeating your Creep(s), if they are
always going to be subjected to the monster
mash, if they never get a chance of having their
Victim survive a Misadventure, they wont want
to play with you very often (imagine long winter
nights watching television with your parents and
that they control the remote).
I solve this problem through what I call
the Einsteinovich Limitation Effect, which states
that a Creeps instability is directly proportional
to his/her/its raw power.
For every point the Creep has in the
positive Flaw modifiers, there must be an equal
number of points in the negative Flaw modifiers
or else the Creep must accumulate a point in
one of the Foibles.
There may be seven deadly sins, but for
our purposes here there are four Foibles:
Loneliness, Egotism, Greed and Stupidity,
otherwise known as LEGS.
All Foibles start at zero (0).
The EM can raise each Foible to a
maximum value of +3 in order to balance each
Creep.
Because Creeps have three Flaw
modifiers going up to +4, this system can pay for
any Creep.
The points put into Foibles represent
actions the Creeps must take to stay true to their
natures. The specific actions depend on the
specifics of the Foible itself. A Creep who does
not meet the conditions of his/her/its Foibles
should subtract 1 from each of its Flaw Modifiers
in the last big Scuffle with the Victims for every
point of Foibles that has not been acted out. It is
really up to the EM to ensure he plays the Creeps
Foibles fully, but he should use discretion and not
let Foibles get in the way of everyones fun.
Loneliness: the longing many Creeps
have for someone to share their lives with. For
every point a Creep has in Loneliness he must
Carry Away or Rescue an Attractive member of
the opposite sex once in the Misadventure.
Rescues usually involve an Attractive Victim or
Innocent being Carried Away by one Creep after
having been captured by a more sinister Creep.
Rescues are, therefore, seldom more than a slight
improvement in circumstances. If his love interest
has not expressed Sympathy, the Creep can start a
Scuffle with the Attractive Victims love interest
in order to redeem another point in Loneliness.
Egotism: the need some Creeps have for
self-aggrandizement. Egotism drives Creeps to
need to Gloat. Their Gloating is therefore less
effective because the Creep sounds desperate. For
every point in Egotism that a Creep has, 1 fewer
point of Misfortune is added to each Victim when
the Creep Gloats.
8
Greed: the craving some Creeps have to
acquire Goodies of their favourite kind. Greedy
Creeps lust after Shiny Shtuff. This forces them to
acquire Shiny Shtuff once in the Misadventure for
every point they have in Greed. Greedy Creeps
also like to talk about the object of their desire,
but that isnt enough to burn off the point.
Stupidity: Stupid Creeps to do something
really idiotic that benefits the Victims once in the
Misadventure per point. Stupid Creeps really hate
to be called idiots. If a Victim is going to earn a
point of Misfortune from being a Scumbag to the
Creep, the EM can opt to spend a point of the
Creeps Stupidity instead of awarding Misfortune.
Saving a Creeps Hide: Sometimes,
Victims, et al, are too darned clever for their own
good. If they discover the Creeps vulnerability
Defect too early in the game, its game over
literally. There is a solution for the EM who feels
it is too early in the Misadventure to have the
villainous, but precious, little monster foiled.
The EM may elect to Save the Creeps
Hide by subtracting 1 Misfortune from all Victims
present, thus allowing the Creep to make its
escape. Once the climax arrives, the Creep can
safely meet its maker when the Defect is used
again.
A good solution is to have the Creep
simply run off with his tail between his legs, not
quite set afire, or only grazed by the silver bullet.
GETTING CARRIED
AWAY
As much as some Creeps behave like
dogs and chase anything that runs away, many of
them are just like the next guy and prefer to chase
women. The only Creeps required to chase
Attractive members of the opposite sex are those
who suffer from Loneliness (see Foibles above).
Of course, other Creeps may figure they
might as well go for it anyway, and who could
blame them?
Stopping Initial Attempts: If a Creep
can get within arms length of that special
someone, the EM should declare that s/he is
Getting Carried Away. The Victim, Chump, or
Innocent can subtract a point of Misfortune and
the Creep can be assured of a clean exit.
Neither wind, nor sleet, nor dead of night,
nor all that jazz will stop the Creep from
escaping with the chosen character. The bullets
9
will miss and the pursuers will lose track of the
Creep. Nope, the happy couple should be alone.
Timing the Romantic Getaway: Of
course, the femme fatales and bon beaus of the
group should not be Carried Away until shortly
before the climax of the Misadventure. They
shouldnt be required to stand around and do
nothing while the others have all the fun!
Sympathy: Once the Creep has spent one
of the Loneliness points by declaring his/her/its
intentions and taking the love-interest home to
meet the aberrants, the Victim/Chump/Innocent
must decide whether or not the Creep deserves
Sympathy.
Deciding to give the Creep Sympathy has
no game effect aside from altering the Creeps
options for spending his Loneliness points later in
the Misadventure.
Second Dates: If the Creep still has
points left in Loneliness when the climax of the
adventure arrives and the character Carried Away
showed Sympathy, the Creep will rebel against
attempts to place the character in a Death Trap,
in a last ditch attempt to win love. That will burn
off a second point of Loneliness.
If the Creep has a third point remaining,
turning on anyone viewed as romantic
competition can burn this off. Or the Creep could
simply Carry Away his/her/its love once again.
That should blow the remaining Foible points.
For a wussy-looking cherub, Cupid shoots one
mean arrow.
SHINY SHTUFF
Okay, so I admit it, not every Creep is love-
crazed. Still, you know what they say: "Unlucky
in love, lucky in gambling." Or, is it business
instead of gambling? Well, it doesnt much
matter, because Creeps dont go in for much of
either. However, many of them are still fond of
Shiny Shtuff.
A few Creeps with high hopes figure they
can have both the pretty Victims and the pretty
rocks. These are usually the same archfiends that
like to have their Victims and eat them, too.
Defining Shiny Shtuff: Shiny Shtuff can be
anything. More accurately, it represents any
object or objects that can be carted away by the
Creep for display on the mantle piece. Desiring
the world, while a fine goal, is not the same as a
lust for Shiny Shtuff.
Gold, silver, and gems are very popular
Shiny Shtuff, but Creeps can lust after busts of
Elvis, rusty bottle caps, or even carpet samples.
Now, I know what youre thinking. You figure
that a Creep wouldnt have a mantle piece and
would likely put the bottle caps in a coffer even if
there were one. Still, you know what I mean and
10
theres no reason to go splitting hairs. I hate it
when you do that.
Greed and Shiny Shtuff: The main point
of Shiny Shtuff is that it provides a way for
Creeps to burn points of Greed. Every time Ole
Creepy goes out of the way to acquire a batch of
favourite Shiny Shtuff, s/he subtracts a point of
the Greed Foible that has to be burnt off by the
end of the Misadventure. Particularly stylish
Creeps centre their entire modus operandi on a
certain type of Goodie. The Victims even chase
these Creeps sometimes.
SENSELESS
STUPIDITY
Every Evil Mastermind has asked himself
why am I surrounded by idiots? at least once.
We wont get into the inevitable consequences of
surrounding yourself with dishonest lackeys who
are picked especially due to being incapable of
stealing your job. The fact is that some Creeps
actually are not the brightest bulbs in the box.
Any Creep with the Stupidity Foible will
have to do something very dumb that benefits the
Victims at an important part of the Misadventure
at least once for every point of Stupidity they
have. The Evil Mastermind can define stupid any
way that he likes so long as the Victims benefit.
MONSTER
MENAGERIE
Creep WK CL CW Size
Ant, Giant +4 -4 -1 40
[No Notes]
Ape, Giant +4 -1 -2 50
Loneliness: 1
Bat, Giant +2 -4 -2 10
Fly
Must Lair In Cave During Day
Bird Man +1 -1 +0 6
Fly
Squawking Makes It Easily Found
Brain In A Jar -4 -4 +1 1
Drive People to Evil (Overcome Ignorance If
In Same Room With Brain Or Act On An Evil
Impulse It Gives You)
Immobile (Inside A Jar)
Cannibal +0 +0 -4 6
[No Notes]
Car, Evil Classic +2 +0 +0 12
Greed-Auto Parts: 1; Stupidity: 1
Invulnerability
Easily Blown Up
Clown, Killer +0 +4 -4 6
[No Notes]
Crab, Giant +2 -4 -2 10
[No Notes]
Demon +2 +2 +2 8
Loneliness: 3; Egotism: 1; Greed-Virgins: 2
Invulnerability
Hurt By Crucifixes (Lumps Dished Out Equal
SU of Wielder)
11
Creep WK CL CW Size
Dessert, Evil -4 +1 +0 1
Delicious Smell & Taste; Controls Those Who
Eat It; Size Doubles Each Morning;
Invulnerability
Hard To Digest; Very Slow Moving; Easily
Scooped & Bagged For Confinement In
Plastic; Size Halves After Every morning Of
Refrigeration; Can Be Destroyed By Fire
Electrical Man +1 +1 -4 6
Electrical (6 Lumps Dished Out to Anyone
Touched By or Touching Him)
Hurt By Water (6 Lumps Dished Out)
Fish Man +1 -1 +0 6
Swimming
Cannot Stay Out of Water Long
Ghost +0 +0 +1 Var.
Egotism: 1
Invulnerable; Invisible; Moves Through Solid
Objects
Buys Farm If Exorcised By Priest; Must Be
Visible to Frighten; Cannot Physically Affect
Anyone
Ghoul +2 +2 +1 6
Greed- Corpses: 3; Stupidity: 2
Giant +4 -2 -4 30
[No Notes]
Gill Creature +1 +1 +0 7
Swimming
Cannot Stay Above Water Long
Glob -4 -2 +0 1
Growth; Paralysing Touch
Extreme Cold Causes Dormancy
Electricity Dishes Out Double Lumps
Golem +1 -1 +0 6
[No Notes]
Gorgon (Medusa) +0 +0 +0 5
One Look Turns You to Stone (Her Reflection
is Safe)
Easily Decapitated
Hand, Crawling +0 +2 +1 1
Stupidity: 3
Head Hunter +0 +1 -4 6
Greed-Heads: 1
Creep WK CL CW Size
Hound of Hell +2 +2 -2 4
Greed-Meaty Treats: 1; Stupidity: 1
Firebreath
Hurt By Crucifixes (Lumps Dished Out Equal
SU of Wielder)
Hunchback +0 -1 -4 5
[No Notes]
Insect Man +1 +0 +0 6
Loneliness: 1
Invisible Doctor +0 +1 -4 6
Greed-Invisibility Serum: 1
Invisibility
Cannot Resist the Urge to Speak
Ivy, Creeping +1 -4 +0 Var.
[No Notes]
Leech, Giant +0 -1 -2 8
[No Notes]
Lizard, Giant +4 +0 -2 40
Stupidity: 2
Mad Scientist +0 +0 -4 6
[No Notes]
Mad Opera Star +1 +4 -4 6
Egotism: 1
Manmade Man +2 -2 +0 7
[No Notes]
Mantis, Giant +2 +2 -1 30
Stupidity: 3
Midget Madman +2 +1 -4 4
[No Notes]
Mole Man +1 -1 +0 6
[No Notes]
Moth Man +0 -1 +0 6
Flight; Poison (12 Lumps)
Cannot Use Flight or Poison if Wet
Mummy +2 -1 +1 6
Loneliness: 1; Stupidity: 1
Invulnerable
Easily Destroyed if Seriously Burned
Neanderthal +1 +0 -4 6
[No Notes]
Plant Man +1 +0 +0 6
Loneliness: 1
Control Normal Plants
Vulnerable to Herbicides
12
Creep WK CL CW Size
Poltergeist N/A N/A +0 Var.
Telekinesis
Psycho Killer +1 +1 -4 6
[No Notes]
Reptile Man +1 +0 +0 6
Loneliness: 1
Octopus, Giant +2 +1 -2 40
Greed-Shiny Objects: 1
Attack Up to 8 People At Once; Ink Cloud
Cannot Leave Water Long
Oriental Sage +0 +1 -4 6
Hocus Pocus
Plant, Man-Eating +1 +1 +0 20
Greed-Warm Blood: 2
Puppet, Killer +0 +2 +0 2
Stupidity: 2
Invulnerable
Vulnerable to Heat
Rat, Giant +0 +1 -2 6
[No Notes]
Robot +2 -1 +0 6
Loneliness: 1
Sabretooth Tiger +2 +2 -2 10
Stupidity: 2
Sasquatch +2 +0 +0 8
Loneliness: 2
Skeleton +0 +0 +1 6
Stupidity: 1
Invulnerable
Vulnerable to Blunt Objects
Slime Creature -4 -2 +0 Var.
[No Notes]
Snake Man +0 +2 +0 6
Loneliness: 2
Poison (12 Lumps)
Somnambulist +1 +1 -4 6
[No Notes]
Spider, Giant +2 +2 +0 12
Loneliness: 1; Stupidity: 3
Poison (12 Lumps)
Statue, Living +4 -2 +0 10
Stupidity: 2
Creep WK CL CW Size
Stegosaurus +4 -2 -2 20
[No Notes]
Telekinetic Girl -1 -1 -4 5
Move Objects With Thought
Driven Away by the Taunting of Peers
Triceratops +4 -2 -2 30
[No Notes]
Two-Headed Man +1 -1 +0 6
[No Notes]
Tyrannosaurus +4 +0 -2 45
Stupidity: 2
Vampire +2 +0 +0 6
Loneliness: 1; Egotism: 1
Transform Into Bat, Wolf or Fog
Invulnerable as Fog
Hurt By Crucifixes (Lumps Dished Out Equal
SU of Wielder)
Cannot Cross Running Water
Werebear +2 +0 +0 10
Loneliness: 2
Wereboar +1 +0 +0 5
Stupidity: 1
Werecrocodile +2 +1 +0 8
Stupidity: 3
Wererat +0 +2 +0 6
Greed-Shiny Things: 2
Wereshark +4 +1 +0 12
Loneliness: 2; Stupidity: 3
Weretiger +2 +2 +0 8
Loneliness: 2; Stupidity: 2
Werewolf +2 +1 +0 7
Stupidity: 3
Witch -1 -1 -4 5
Hocus Pocus
Vulnerable to a Bucket of Water
Witch Doctor +0 +0 -4 6
Hocus Pocus
Superstitious
Wolf Man +1 +1 +0 6
Loneliness: 2
Worm, Colossal +4 +0 -1 20
Stupidity: 3
13
Creep WK CL CW Size
Yeti +2 +0 +0 10
Loneliness: 2
Zombie +1 -2 +1 6
Invulnerable
Easily Decapitated
MEGA MONSTERS
Unique Creep WK CL CW Size
Afterburner
Antelope
+4 +2 -4 8/
150
Stupidity: 2
Grow from 8 to 150 and Shrink Back
Flight
[Two Defects Chosen Each Appearance for
Variety and Mega Monster Reusability]
Beakychew +4 +1 -2 250
Loneliness: 1, Greed-Architecture: 1,
Stupidity: 1
Flight
Sonic Chirp (Acts As A Punch But Is A
Ranged Weapon With A Mile Range)
[Two Defects Chosen Each Appearance for
Variety and Mega Monster Reusability]
Creature Zip +4 +4 -2 200
Greed: 2, Stupidity: 4
Doglizza +4 -1 -2 300
Stupidity: 1
Stinky Dog Breath (Acts As A Punch But Is A
Ranged Weapon With A Mile Range)
[A Defect Chosen Each Appearance for
Variety and Mega Monster Reusability]
Horridah +4 -2 +1 180
Stupidity: 3
Radioactive Touch (Acts As A Punch)
[A Defect Chosen Each Appearance for
Variety and Mega Monster Reusability]
Mechadoglizza +4 -1 -4 300
Eye Lasers (Acts As A Punch But Is A Ranged
Weapon With A Mile Range)
Missiles (Acts As A Punch But Is A Ranged
Weapon With A Mile Range)
[Two Defects Chosen Each Appearance for
Variety and Mega Monster Reusability]
Mechaquong +4 -1 -4 200
[None]
Megalog +4 -2 -2 275
Poison Spore Fog Breath (Acts As A Punch
But Is A Ranged Weapon With A Mile
Range)
Dormant After 24 Hours Without Sunlight
Unique Creep WK CL CW Size
Queen Quong +4 +2 -2 200
Loneliness: 2, Stupidity: 2
14
Rattra +4 -1 -2 225
Greed-A Place to Gestate: 1
Skeetera +4 0 -1 400
Greed-Blood: 2, Stupidity: 1
Flight
[Two Defects Chosen Each Appearance for
Variety and Mega Monster Reusability]
Smoggorrack +4 +2 0 100
Greed-Lightweight Items: 2, Stupidity: 4
Invulnerable
Vulnerable to Peaceful Overtures and
Environmental Reform
Wreckah Whale +4 -2 -2 225
[None]
Wreckah Frog +4 +2 -1 180
Greed-Things that fit in his mouth: 4,
Stupidity: 1
Electric Touch (Acts As A Punch)
[A Defect Chosen Each Appearance for
Variety and Mega Monster Reusability]
Wreckah
Pterodactyl
+4 0 -2 150
Stupidity: 2
Lightning Bolt Breath (Acts As A Punch But Is
A Ranged Weapon With A Mile Range)
[A Defect Chosen Each Appearance for
Variety and Mega Monster Reusability]
HORRIBLE HOCUS
POCUS
Wibble, wooble, sym, papple, firp. I know,
I know, that made no sense, right? Or, at least, I
hope it didnt; because you are either much
cleverer than I am or you should be locked in a
mental institution. Either way, I wont be happy.
If that first sentence doesnt make sense it is
because it doesnt correspond to any words in any
Earthly language. Just as we need to agree to a
consistent menagerie of sounds to correspond to
the things around us in order to communicate
effectively, we also need to agree on an entire
frame of reference in order to make sense of the
physical makeup of the universe.
These frames of reference become what
we call the laws of physics or, more importantly,
the building blocks of sanity. We
compartmentalise the world into many separate
bits in order to understand it. We conceive of
difference. We need to be able to tell up from
down, or left from right, and prefer to consult
doctors who can tell our lungs from our ruptured
appendix.
The laws of physics that we agree upon
seem to be consistent and unchanging. They also
seem universal from our perspective.
Nevertheless, as we discover a universe made up
of countless island galaxies, it seems more and
more likely that what we see as the immutable
laws, may only be isolated absolutes just as the
rules of soccer or hockey are absolute only within
the confines of those games.
While it may well remain impossible to
violate the rules inherent in your physical
surroundings, there may be a larger cradle of truly
universal laws embracing all. It may be possible
to exploit these higher possibilities while still
bound by the rules inherent to your surroundings.
As much as that may be outside the scope of
human ability, there may be creatures so far
advanced that they can not only perform wonders
that defy comprehension, but actually understand
the opposite sex.
15
The ability of higher life forms to
manipulate the true laws of the universe is
probably the skill behind what we have come to
call magic. Although mortal minds cannot learn
how to work magic, this great and higher system
of universal physics, we can learn the process of
appealing to higher powers that are themselves
able.
In Scared Stiff the art of begging for
magical treats is called by its scientific name,
Hocus Pocus. Those who practice Hocus Pocus
are called witches, warlocks, wizards, sorcerers,
magi, shamans, witch doctors, magicians,
enchanters, necromancers, diviners, conjurers,
evokers, wonder workers, and nutters.
Unfortunately, contact with superior life
forms invariably drives people insane as they are
brought into contact with things they cannot
reconcile with their deepest understanding of the
workings of the universe.
In Scared Stiff, insanity has only two
consequences: to render a person unable to
function in normal society or to turn a person
irrevocably evil. It therefore goes without saying
that the practice of magic is either quickly
discontinued, or turns a person forever into a
Creep. Therefore, Innocent Bystanders, Chumps,
and Victims of Circumstance may never practice
Hocus Pocus.
In game terms, Hocus Pocus is a special
Creep Gimmick that counts as 1 Gimmick for
every 3 spells or fraction thereof known to the
Creep. All Hocus Pocus is assumed to be the
simple channelling of power from another, more
alien, and therefore more clever, being that is able
to produce the effect directly. It is important to
remember that Hocus Pocus is really no more
than a line of credit. The higher powers that grant
this credit have their own interests and dont
give anything away for free any more than
anyone would. They not only expect something in
return but they also work to turn a profit, and you
can be sure they never lose on a deal.
The Creep receiving the Hocus Pocus
Gimmick may also profit, and need not lose out,
but will still receive less than the granting power.
You cant go wrong imagining these
powers as being much like banks. They are more
alien than banks, freer with lines of credit and
usually a lot less evil, but the resemblance
remains. Heaven help any Victims that run into a
Creep that can pay for its own magic without a
line of credit.
Mechanically, there are a few important
things to remember with each spell: Range,
Duration, Area of Effect, Ceremony Time,
Ceremony Details, and Effect. Each of these 6
aspects should be covered in any Grimoire of
spells the EM comes up with.
Range: How close a Creep has to be to
the target of this spell in order for the spell to
work. Range is always measured in one of the
following terms: Inches, Feet, Yards, Miles,
Countries, Continents, Planets, Galaxies, or
Dimensions. Each is very simple and no number
of so-called loopholes can expand the range of
the spell beyond the EMs understanding of the
term. The Countries, Continents, Planets,
Galaxies, and Dimensions Range Categories
mean that the target of the spell can be anywhere
within the area described, even if the location is
unknown to the spell-caster.
Any other Range means that anyone the
Creep can see with unaugmented vision may be
affected. The Creep must know where the target
is and have a view that is at least partially
unobstructed. The Creep cannot employ any aid
to his vision except for normal spectacles or
contact lenses. Telescopes with laser sighting just
arent cricket.
Duration: The maximum amount of time
that the spell can be in effect. The Creep, if
desired and unless the spell Effect states
otherwise, can cancel it sooner. The Duration of a
spell is usually described by one of the following
terms: Moments, Minutes, Hours, Days, Weeks,
Months, Years, Decades, or Centuries.
If one of these increments of time is not
stated, the Duration will be listed as
Concentration, meaning that the spell will be in
effect so long as the Creep keeps concentrating
on maintaining it. The Creep can maintain the
spell as long as he does nothing but focus on the
magic, walk, and/or speak. Nothing requiring
special focus, concentration, or exertion may be
done and any Lumps taken and not totally
Bounced Off will end the spell.
Area of Effect: How much the spell is
able to encompass, either in terms of physical
space or in terms of people. Area of Effect is
described by one of the following terms: Inches,
Feet, Yards, Miles, or People/Creeps. The Area
16
of Effect is intended as an absolute maximum and
limits on people and volume should not conflict.
If there are more or fewer people in the area than
a spell is able to encompass then the spell is
limited according to the EMs judgement of what
it can encompass.
Ceremony Time: How long it takes to
perform the spell before it can take effect. The
Ceremony Time of a spell is described by one of
the following terms: Moments, Spots or
Misadventures. The whole ceremony must be
performed for the spell to have any effect beyond
dramatic foreshadowing of the effect to come.
Partial castings do not count as credit toward later
efforts.
Ceremony Details: The materials, locale,
weather, physical conditions and so on
necessary to the successful performance of the
spell. These conditions are absolute and there are
no substitutions.
Spell Effect: A single-paragraph, rough
description of what the spell does. The Effect
described is meant to be inexact so that it can be
tailored to all kinds of situations. The point of the
Hocus Pocus Gimmick is to provide the ultimate
exercise in dramatic license and to be a flexible,
catchall, plot device. The point is not to delineate
a complex system of thaumaturgy. Details should
be changed wherever necessary and everything
should be tailored to the need for an exciting
storyline.
Spell Types: Most spells are designed to
Contact, Summon or Banish, Forbid, Control, or
Hurt or Protect their subject. It seems like Creeps
like nothing more than to cause people harm or to
call on their bigger and badder brethren to do it
for them.
Contact Spells: Spells designed for
contacting a Creep deal with setting up a line of
long-distance communication between the caster
and whatever the spell is meant to contact. The
main concern will be Range and Duration
because the Area of Effect is usually People or
Creeps.
Summon or Banish Spells: Many spells
are really just incantations to summon a Creep to
you against its will. The reverse will dismiss any
Creeps who are already here but who are not
native to Earth. The Creep wont necessarily be
friendly, so appropriate Control spells may be a
good idea (see Ceremony Details above and try
very, very hard not to break the lines of that
Pentagram). Smart wizards use Contact spells to
phone ahead. The main concern will be Range
because Duration only needs to last as long as it
takes for the Creep to use the gate and the Area of
Effect is usually People or Creeps.
Forbid Spells: Spells that Forbid Creeps
of the appropriate type to enter or leave a magic
enclosure are very handy to know when you are
planning to Summon them. Creeps arent usually
friendly, so spells that Forbid Creeps are the best
things next to know to appropriate Control spells.
The main concern will be Duration because the
Range is short if the Creep is near you and the
Area of Effect is usually People or Creeps.
Control Spells: Spells to control Creeps
are a good idea, especially if you are planning to
Summon them. Creeps arent usually friendly, so
appropriate Control spells are a must for many
evil plans. The main concern will be Duration
because the Range is short if the Creep is near
you and the Area of Effect is usually People or
Creeps.
Hurt Spells: Spells that Hurt take many
forms such as energy darts, balls of fire or bolts
of lightning. The main concern will be Range
because Duration only needs to last as long as it
takes for the spell to reach its target (1 Moment
usually) and the Area of Effect is usually People
or Creeps. The Area of Effect may be more if
the spell creates a large area meant to Hurt
everyone inside, such as a wall of pain, or a circle
of misery, or a field of screams. The amount of
Lumps Dished Out when the spell hits a Victim,
or every Moment the Victim is inside a larger
Area of Effect, is added to the numbers chosen
for Range, Duration and Area of Effect when
Calculating Spell Numbers for Ceremony Time.
This Lumps Dished Out gets the normal variable
amount added to it, just like any other Weapon.
These spells are resolved as any other Attack
would be.
Protect Spells: Spells that Protect take
many forms such as force shields, suits of
glowing armour, or impenetrable fogs. The main
concern will be Duration because Range only
needs to get the spell to its target and the Area of
Effect is usually People or Creeps. The Area of
Effect may be more if the spell creates a large
area meant to Protect everyone inside, such as a
wall of energy, or a circle of peace, or a field of
17
sweetness and light. The amount of Lumps
Bounced Off when anything hits a subject of the
spell is added to the numbers chosen for Range,
Duration and Area of Effect when Calculating
Spell Numbers for Ceremony Time.
Calculating Spell Units: The desired
Range, Duration and Area of Effect Units can be
selected when the spell is created. Each of these
three has a cost according to the unit type chosen.
The total cost of the three spell units determines
the unit of Ceremony Time.
Range Cost
Touch 0
Feet 1
Yards 2
Stretches 3
Miles 4
Countries 5
Continents 6
Planets 7
Galaxies 8
Dimensions 9
Duration Cost
Concentration 0
Moments 1
Spots 2
Misadventures 3
Solar Phases 4
Lunar Phases 5
Lunar Cycles 6
Seasons 7
Solar Cycles 8
Eras 9
Ages 10
Area of Effect Cost
Inches 1
Feet 2
Yards 3
People or Creeps 4
Miles 5
Total Cost Ceremony Time
1 to 8 Moments
8 to 16 Spots
17 to 24 Misadventures
A Creep in America digs up a spell called
Summon & Banish Sea Serpent. It has a range of
Miles, a Duration of Spots, and an Area of Effect
of Creeps. The total costs are 4+2+4= 10 and the
Ceremony Time is Spots.
Calculating Spell Numbers: A number
of the desired Range, Duration and Area of Effect
Units must be selected when the spell is about to
be cast. These can be different every time the
spell is cast. Half of the total of these numbers
(round up) determines the number applied to the
unit of Ceremony Time.
The aforementioned American Creep attempts to
cast Summon & Banish Sea Serpent. It has a
range of Miles, a Duration of Spots, and an
Area of Effect of Creeps.
The Ceremony Time is therefore
measured in Spots. He doesnt know if there is a
Sea Serpent anywhere nearby. Knowing the spell
Range is a radius, he sets a Range of 3 miles to
bring forth any Sea Serpent within US
jurisdiction. He goes to the coast and sets the
spell to last for 8 Spots and an Area of Effect of 1
Creep. The total numbers for all units is 3+8+1=
12. Half of 12 is 6, so the Ceremony Time is 6
Spots.
18
GENRE ADVICE
TERRA BELLA
Translated terribly from the Latin, Terra
Bella means, beautiful world. It is the true
official name of the world of RPG-13 B-Movie
Game System, a world known to its inhabitants as
Earth. You can pretend it is an alternate Earth
setting if it makes you feel better, but it isnt.
Unknown to the vast majority of its
people, Terra Bella has been victimized by
numerous waves of monster and alien attacks
over the years.
The Stone Age: Terra Bella still has a
few dinosaurs hanging about in the Stone Age,
long after the species became extinct on our
Earth. They are the primary horrors that plague
early Terra Bellan humans. But there are other
real dangers, including evil spirits such as ghosts,
undead your typical vampires and random
nasties, such as werewolves and witches.
Ancient Times: Monstrosities are god-
cursed and often half-animal. Many magical
creatures are giant, poisonous, the fire-breathing
cousins of normal beasts, or any combination.
Lots of other beings look humanoid, but are also
twisted and wicked. Luckily most of the horrid
things of this era are unique individuals and focus
on tormenting specific people.
The Middle Ages: All manner of horrid
monsters plague men and women alike; demons
are a very real threat to the impious. This is a
very dark time.
The Renaissance: Many warlocks,
practicing black magicke, and alchemists,
practicing who-knows-what chemical chicanery,
rise up against the thinkers of the Renaissance.
They form secret societies behind the scenes to
dominate others. Evil demons learn to exploit
growing disbelief and widespread lack of faith,
becoming less visible but more active.
Meanwhile, in the Caribbean, it isnt a good time
to order a zombie. Voodoo is rife and you may
get much more than a bad drink of rum.
The Age of Reason: A time for rational,
angst-ridden fiends with a dynamic flair for
fashion and a penchant for pondering the great
questions. Mad scientists are less common than
mad thinkers. Many people flee modern ideas for
the comforts of Medievalism. There are myriad
ghosts, vampires, and werewolves. The world is
overflowing with witches and the equally nasty
sadists who hunt them down.
The Industrial Age: Mad scientists rule
the dark recesses of the civilized world, while yeti
and other less probable freaks of nature lurk
in the unexplored reaches where humans, if they
know whats good for them, never enter (except
on tippy-toe, really, really quietly). In strange,
foreign lands, ancient masters of arcane lore plot
against freedom-loving people everywhere. In the
big cities, slashers are a rare but highly publicized
problem.
The Roaring Twenties: Mad cultists serve dark
overlords dedicated to the worship of totally alien
entities. When the planets align themselves in the
correct stellar conjunctions, these cultists try to
summon forth their otherworldly masters.
The Dirty Thirties: As if the Great
Depression isnt bad enough, the 1930s are a time
of classic monster mayhem. A number of
vampires, werewolves, mummies, and mad
scientists stalk the innocent.
World War II: The struggle against Nazi
tyranny brings undying vigilance against their
endless, insane developments in weird science.
Since most of them are completely mad and very
nasty, inhumanity has a very human face.
The Fifties: Monsters from the depths of
the sea, aliens from Outer Space, and atomic
horrors spawned by radiation are prominent in
this era. The atomic monstrosities from the
aftermath of bomb testing are most often insects
or other icky, wee beasties, grown to enormous
proportions due to mutations but can sometimes
be surreal horrors such as deadly colour
pastiches.
This is the height of the Cold War, so
super-scientific devices created by hostile nations
may be an occasional threat. For some strange
reason, dinosaurs reappear briefly in the 1950s.
Perhaps nuclear tests have melted some ice caps
wherein prehistoric monsters have been in
suspended animation.
The Sixties: The horrors of the 1950s
relocate to the sunny beaches of the world to
plague innocent, swimsuit-clad, hot-rod driving,
young surfers. Further inland, the fiends of the
1930s return in full force, albeit showing new,
erotically charged, bloodthirsty tendencies. As the
1960s wane, zombies once again raise their
decaying heads.
The Seventies: Slashers become a real
problem and dominate the scene. Vampires strut
their stuff once more. The water becomes
increasingly unsafe with alligators, crocodiles,
sharks, and piranha everywhere. Atomic horrors
confine themselves to Pacific islands, as older
mutations prove unable to breed. New collections
of huge, mostly humanoid monsters are drawn to
major cities to brawl. Monsters demonstrating
their machismo level a lot of Japan. Like much
else in the 1970s, many of the monsters are
outrageous and have bad fashion sense.
The Eighties: A new breed of slashers
arises as the old ones fade away. Only those with
neat, gimmicky possessions, a bad sense of
humour, and supernatural gifts remain. The worst
of these slashers return for endless rematches and
wont admit defeat. Zombies and werewolves
swarm everywhere and the alligators move into
the sewers. Other traditional monsters are less
active, although vampires abandon their rural
roots to go urban.
The Nineties: Monsters terrorize the
usual spots only sporadically. Some classic
monsters make a few half-hearted attempts to
scare people but most stay home due to
widespread predictions of natural disasters and
meteorite collisions. The supernatural slashers of
the 1980s give way to slashers from a younger
demographic who enforced their vision of old
clichs with great vigour. Who ever said raising a
generation on television wouldnt have an effect
on the student bodies?
The Present: Only time will tell what the
future will hold. Scientists fear renewed rumbles
between gargantuan beasts in the Pacific. There
are rumours of a renewed shark problem, but they
are unconfirmed. Occultists everywhere are
expecting a mass uprising of mummified remains
at every pyramid and mausoleum. We must hope
that we are able to counter whatever new threats
arise.
Possibilities: Scientists believe there may
be a number of alternate dimensions in which
each Terra Bella might have a very different
history. Dimensional travel might be possible, but
it may be dangerous, as it is unknown if the laws
of physics are truly universal.
ATMOSPHERIC
HORROR
Every gamer spends a great deal of time
concerned with plotting and characterization, just
as a writer might in constructing a story. Intrinsic
to horror is the presence of a great deal more
atmosphere than is present in many other genres.
Despite the many ridiculous aspects of Scared
Stiff, they are not entirely de-fanged. They are
often frightening or disturbing in places.
In learning to run even the worst horror,
the difficult art of atmospheric horror must be
discussed. Psycho killer shock thrillers usually
expend most of their energy in doing little more
than jumping out at you and yelling: BOO!
Recent horror has focused on graphic
depictions of batter and splatter. To deliver
truly effective frights you have to disturb your
audience. Pricking psyches is more effective than
turning stomachs.
Of course, in playing a humorous game, it
is just not cricket to put your players in therapy. It
is enough to practice how its done, so you can
turn the scream machine on low occasionally.
You can ignore the Medium, High, and
ARE YOU NUTS? settings. You can spare
your players sanity but still know that you could
really scare them if you wanted to.
As an example, Ive included a story that
deliberately ignores characterization. It takes
place in the future, but the main character could
be anyone, living anywhere. It is too short for
plotting and the exposition is presented for the
express purpose of developing atmosphere.
One for Another
There was no water. Ours was not a
naturally dry climate, nor entirely bereft of
moisture. In fact these had once been wetlands.
However, our atmosphere had long ago been
corrupted. Since then, water had been used to
manufacture an atmosphere. This air had to be
continually recycled to prevent taint, and not all
could be reclaimed. Our civilization had become
parched.
Where I sleep, the days last rays of
sunlight deftly creep between the cracks of the
board shutters that guard my windows against its
entry. They are miserable boards, over miserable
windows in the huge, run-down, miserable
brownstone tenement that shelters me.
Oh, God, that relentless, horrible sun! It
robs me not only of my rest, but also of my very
skin. Its nicotine-stained appendage peels the
scabs from my arms. Cursing my monstrous,
insatiable thirst, I lap up the blood that dapples
my hand and runs down the long, plain concrete
staircase to the basement.
Its cold in the basement, but I dont want
to go down there. The very thought brings sweat
to my brow and I mustnt waste the moisture. All
should be dark and silent as the grave down there.
But they have come... the rats. Known, yet unseen
paws chuckle on the dry concrete floor,
discordant and suffering, the thousand notes of
Mozart in scruffy symphony.
I hear gnawing and stamp my boots
wildly upon the floor. I grab a piece of rusty pipe,
run down the stairs and bludgeon little ribs with
bitter rust. Skulls collapse with the sound of old
war-horses grazing in a field of popcorn. I have to
work quickly. The rats always have to be fought
off quickly lest their malevolence blossom
disturbingly given time and numbers.
I fall to my knees, battling, claw-to-claw
and fang-to-fang, rats all. My knees wear to the
ground, but it is finished. The handmaidens of
despair are now lifeless, bleak sponges. My soul
percolates on warm temples, and condenses in the
pits of my body. Blood covers my skin and I
spread it and the sweat over myself. My sickly,
rough hands bestow the life of moisture. Oh, it
feels so good
My rusty tool has turned the rats into little
wineskins, and it has other uses. I flay the end of
the pipe to a point. Im sweating heavily but use
the rats blood to heal myself, ignoring the bitter
taste. Forgotten strength returns and, for a while,
all was well. But it is not enough. It could not be
enough, this time. The fluid passes through me
quickly. I want to save my poor bodys desperate
wastes, despite its toxins, but I cannot bring
myself to this extreme measure. Not yet
I return to the main floor to greet my
parents. Whats this? They say that there has been
no condensation on the atmosphere generators.
We are to be given no water ration. My parents.
Like all of us theyre pale and weak from hiding
from the daylight. Constantly in darkness, they
are no more than rats themselves.
It seems fate has decreed my decision. If
they cannot provide me with water, I will be
forced to fend for myself. Tonight, they will
provide. I will drink from my parents. The other
tenants are nearly entombed, huddled in their
rooms, self-absorbed and idle. They wont notice
my parents disappearance.
My parents still sleep as I creep into their
room just after sunset. Roughly grabbing my
mothers hair and thrusting at her neck, my pipe
pierces her jugular. I place cracked lips to steel;
blood spews forth, self-propelled and
regenerative. Her blood is salty and thick. It is
rushing into my mouth faster than I can swallow.
I vomit over my benefactor until we are one
sticky mess. I lap up what I can like a starving
child with a bowl of gruel. As strong as the sickly
feeling is that now threatens to overwhelm me,
there is another, more terrible sense of relief and
well being that blocks it out.
My mother had now granted life to my
body twice. This time was quicker. Sated now,
but my work isnt done. After using up the
entirety of my mother, it is necessary to preserve
father for later use.
He struggles awake as mother never again
will. He sees his wifes husk beside him and
vomits. He does not try to stop. Thirst consumes
me. I scramble to preserve what of it I can and
gape at his wastefulness in shock. He must hoard
his water to waste so casually and without lament.
Soon his supply will be mine. I draw my steel
pipe.
As I crawl towards the vomit near my
mother, rats burst out of her chest, with the same
ghastly goal in mind. Their little tongues lap it up
greedily, but there is not enough to share. I
wrench their heads off like bottle caps and
quench myself again. I invite my father to join me
but he callously and superiorly refuses. He
retreats from the bedroom as if deranged.
I look down at mother. The rats have
already devoured her organs and if I do nothing,
they will finish the rest, piecemeal. I drag her
body, down, down into the cool, dark basement.
Where? Ah, the ventilator shaft. The
scampering pestilence wont reach her there. I
wont have filth-covered rodents consume with
relish what is mine.
Well after midnight. Last call for father. I
spot him outside his room, on the floor, covered
in rats. I leave them to their feast. If I kill them
all, what will be left of the little herd for me to
harvest when my need is great? Besides, I will
scavenge what they leave.
I dont wait long. They devour his eyes
first, then his internal organs. Soon, there are only
his bones. I stand and lay claim to the rest. I crack
his ribs and suck out the marrow inside. The rats
scramble away to prepare for another challenge.
I wish that I could rest, but I must search
for the water that belongs rightfully to me. I
search, then search some more, but I cannot find
it. It is clear that I have been cheated, not just by
my mother and father, but by all the tenants
sharing the building with us. They think Im
weaker and frailer than the others of my age. That
is surely why they plot to deprive me now. What
they do not know is that I am no longer weak.
If they hoard the water for the strongest,
then they must see a demonstration of my
strength.
Reclaiming my rusty weapon, I decide to
check on mother only to find her rat-chewed. I
giggle. She looks like a pile of discarded
tealeaves, without even a prophecy of the future
to offer in her scattered remains. Turning to
leave, I hear the scuttling of a hundred tiny paws
nearby. They search and sniff and scurry as if the
place were unfamiliar. Silhouetted in teetering
piles, lit only by a thousand luminescent eyes,
each chortles gleefully like a miser upon a pile of
gold.
Slowly, I realize that the rats are not the
only ones present. Someone must have let them
in. Mother must have started to decay by now and
I should have realized that the ventilator would
announce her presence to the whole building. As I
peer through the murky dark, I see several men
who have come to check the source of the odour.
The first two men are entirely immersed
in rats before they can react, and their weak
frames collapse from the added weight, without
even a whimper to attest to their having ever
lived. The other men cower from the rats, but it is
not the rats that will have them.
While most of the rats feverishly, and
foolishly, devour the first two men, leaving the
others free. I kill the vermin that seek a fresher
kill. My human companions, despite the fate of
their friends, must be grateful for my
intervention, but their gratitude lasts only as long
as the life of the one nearest to me. With a mere
punch, I break his neck.
The others are stunned, too afraid to
intervene. I cut their friends neck open carefully
to avoid the blood exiting too quickly. Putting my
pipe down so that I can concentrate on my feast, I
become oblivious to all else except the all-
consuming sight, smell, and taste of the blood.
Pain! Delight gives way to agony when
my own steel shaft is driven through my chest,
and the blood I now taste is my own.
The others must have conspired in their
treachery because no one of them has the strength
for such an act. I can hear the rats devouring their
meal undisturbed, and their contentment is cruel
and mocking.
The last things I feel are the parched lips
groping my body in greedy anticipation. I too,
then, am to feel the awful sensation of being
eaten alive
The atmosphere in this story is an
example of straightforward atmospheric horror.
My sole goal was to disturb using atmosphere
rather than action. Although the themes are far
too grim for a humorous Scared Stiff approach, it
demonstrates the use of atmosphere perfectly.
The most important aspect is the use of
metaphors, similes, and especially imagery.
It has long been said that the imagination
of your audience can dream up far more
frightening images than you could ever begin to
depict by naming details. This is not only true of
the terrifying, but also of the ridiculous. Just try
to pick out a few choice words to cover what
youre describing. It is better to be suggestive
than to be descriptive. Each of your players can
then go on to envision their ideal picture of the
situation. Thats all there is to it.
One for Another also demonstrates the
transformation of space limitations into story
advantages. Where 1500 words are insufficient to
develop much plot or characterization, the lack of
those features is turned to the authors benefit.
The writing is clipped and quickly paced so that it
feels like the events are driven, rather than absent.
The characterization limits are overcome by using
a first-person narrative and the horror quotient is
increased subtly by keeping the action in the
present tense (as all of your scenarios will be).
You are cast as the main character and invited to
share the same point of view. This adds to the
atmosphere as all objectivity is lost and the sole
source of your perceptions of the situation is
highly suspect, to say the least.
In a game situation, you do not have the
limitations on character development and plot
that you do in a story. Thats another reason, I
wrote around those things in One for Another.
Once you reread the story a couple of times, you
should be able to slowly learn to unnerve your
players with a few well-picked images. By the
way, if you find the story casts up images that are
too strong for your stomach, youll also have
learned several valuable lessons about how far
youre prepared to take a story line or the
description of a specific Spot.


HORROR HOOKS &
THEMATIC
THEOREMS
Although I discussed plot development in
the RPG-13 B-Movie Game System Core Rules,
the horror genre does not have quite the same
selection of likely plots as the whole of literature.
Many types of story that can be made do not fit
the horror genre well. There are many recurrent
themes in b-movie style horror and of all the
countless possible stories to be told most loosely
fit into one of the categories below. Pick one and
youll have as much of a plot as many classic b-
movies had before the cameras started rolling and
the improvisation was underway.
Here is a list of 15 common themes:
Alien Invaders: Space creatures land on
Earth and deliberately or inadvertently cause
trouble. Perhaps mankind are the real monsters
in some stories.
Ancient Forces: Eternal or long dormant
supernatural or superscientific menaces emerge.
Beauty and the Beast: What looks
pleasant is nasty and what looks nasty is pleasant.
The true enemy must be discovered eventually
and tables turned.
Betrayal: A straightforward version of
one of the other themes is really centred upon the
complication that a trusted ally is working for
enemies and is the real danger.
Chased: The Victims themselves are
desired for some purpose.
Environmental Nightmares: Pollution
spawns big problems and political and/or
consumer action must go hand-in-hand with
monster hunting to rid the world of the problem.
Intrigue: Two or more factions struggle
for power and guess who is stuck in the middle?
Mad World: Nothing is as it seems and
normalcy must be restored somehow.
Mistaken Identity: One or more of the
Victims are mistaken for someone else and major
events are affected.
Parallel Dimension: The Victims are
transported to a similar, but different, universe
and something important comes of it.
Quest: Find and/or destroy one or more
important things before very bad consequences
become inevitable.
Rightful Rulership: Long dormant or long
absent creatures reclaim Earth on the grounds
that they once ruled it and want it back.
Survival: The last few examples of a
species struggle to survive and may clash with
mankind.
Technology Against Us: Computers and
androids start behaving in a manner we dont
appreciate.
To Be Gods: Powerful beings try to
escape imprisonment and take their old place or
to gain an elevated position among the weaker
creatures of an adopted home.
HACKIN PART
THE HOOD
If you are undecided about a setting for
your Diary, you may want to consider using your
own hometown. One need not stay down and out
in Paris and London or feel a need to be a part of
it in New York City. Dunedin, New Zealand can
be used to great effect if you live there and know
it well. Even in familiar surroundings, there is
plenty of room for inventing little shops, small
offices, large corporations and colourful
personalities that could exist, but dont. The two
main advantages are authenticity and emotional
attachment.
Using your hometown in a role-playing
game is more advantageous than using it for a
movie or novel. A writer can make a place seem
more authentic if he has lived there all his life and
not merely researched it, but, unlike a writer, a
GM knows he shares his hometown with his
players. When you can guarantee a story will
have resonance for your audience, it saves a lot of
time establishing an emotional attachment and
familiarity with any other setting.
Emotional attachment is the key to
making anything compelling. It is true if youre
selling shoes, making movies, writing books, or
playing a game of Scared Stiff. Caring about the
places threatened with destruction and about the
people at risk is what enables you to feel the
thrills, excitement and dread of conflict. Tension
requires a fear of loss or injury and it is unlikely
anyone will tremble at the possibility of losing
something he never cared about in the first place.
Using your own hometown will also
make it easy for the players to identify with the
people threatened when a town is plagued with
monsters. Identification with people who are
suffering is a necessary prerequisite to caring
deeply about their predicament. It is satisfying to
set a game where Doglizza can topple the main
feature of your local skyline, demolish that
eyesore of a cinema in your picturesque
neighbourhood, or snuffle in the general direction
of your very own mayor.
Here is a list of over 150 buildings most
cities have available for smashing (towns have a
much more modest selection):
Accountant (Certified or General)
Acting School
Adult Entertainment
Aircraft Rental
Airport
Alcohol Delivery Service
Amusement Park
Appliance Sales & Repair
Arcade
Arena
Armed Forces Recruiting
Automobile Dealer (New or Used)
Bagel Shop
Bank
Banquet Room
Barber
Baseball Batting Range
Bed & Bedding Store
Billiard Hall
Bingo Hall
Blood Bank
Boat Rental & Repair (If Near Water)
Book Dealer
Brewer
Bridal Store
Brokerage
Burger Joint
Bus Line
Caf
Cafeteria
Campground
Camping Equipment
Carpet & Rug Dealer
Casino (If Legal)
Cemetery
Cheque Cashing Service
Chinese Restaurant
Church, Synagogue or Temple
(Numerous Denominations and Religions)
Circus (If In Town)
City Hall
Clothing Store (Men, Women,
Children or Discount)
College
College Campus
Comic Book & Game Store
Computer Sales & Repair
Construction Site
Copy Centre
Costume Shop
Credit Union
Dance Club
Daycare
Delicatessen
Dinner Theatre
Dock (If On Water)
Doctors Office
Dry Cleaner
Electric Company
Electronics Supplies
Elementary School
Extermination & Fumigation Services
Fabric Stores
Fast Food Outlet
Firearms Shop (If Legal)
Fortune Telling
Foundry
Freeway
Funeral Home
Fur Retail
Furniture Dealer
Gas Company
Gas Station
Gift Shop
Go-Kart Track
Greenhouse
Greeting Card Store
Grocery
Gun Club (If Legal)
Hairdresser
Hardware Store
Hat Shop
High School
Highway
Hospital
Hostel
Hydroponics Laboratory
Ice Skating Rink
Insurance Agent
Ironworks
Jeweller
Junk Dealer
Kitchen Supply Store
Laboratory
Laundromat
Lawyer
Limousine Service
Liquor Store
Locker
Martial Arts Instruction & Supply
Meat Packer
Military Antiques
Military Surplus
Mine
Modelling Agency
Music Store (Compact Discs & Audio
Cassettes or Used Records)
Nudist Colony
Nursing Home
Office Building
Offices Supply Centre
Park
Pastry Shop
Pet Cemetery
Pet Groomer
Pet Store
Pharmacy
Pizza
Playground
Police Station
Power Lines
Publisher
Quarry
Race Track (Cars or Horses)
Racquet Club
Radio Station
Railroad
Resort
Restaurant
Retirement Residence
Scrapyard
Shopping Mall
Solar Energy Research &
Development Laboratory
Souvenir Stand
Stadium
Swimming Pool
Talent Agency
Taxi Service
Television Station
Tennis Court
Theatre
Tire Dealer
Tobacconist
Toy Store
Trailer Park
Travel Agent
Tuxedo Rental
Umbrella Emporium
Unclaimed Freight Merchandiser
Uniform Designer & Retailer
Union (Labour or Student)
University Campus
Veterinarian
Water Company
Wig Shop
Wildlife Control Centre
Woodworker
Wrecker
X-Ray Supplies
Youth Centre
Zoo
METHODS OF
PAYMENT
If your players are co-operating, then it
will only be necessary to discipline the Innocent
Bystanders. This can be challenging to do
creatively, but not actually a chore. If it requires
such exertion that you are out of breath, you are
either taking the game too seriously or you are
tremendously out of shape. Please consult your
physician (and your loan officer if you live inside
the United States). There are many ways to Buy
the Farm. No, I dont mean by way of cash,
cheque or credit card. Im talking about the many
dozens of ways that a person can shuffle off this
mortal coil. When you think that your death is the
last and most indelible memory many people will
have of you, its shameful how most people give
no thought whatever to the circumstances of their
last moments.
Luckily, Creeps are very respectful of the
Innocents they terrorize. They spend a great deal
of time planning memorable and creative last
moments for their Victims. Even those who expire
faster than fresh fish will make plenty of actors
envious of their exeunt. Most of the green in the
features will be nausea, but you can be sure envy
will be there somewhere. Fortunately, most
Creeps are more than happy to Dish Out enough
for everyone.
Victims of Circumstance are capable of
determined action and should usually only Buy
the Farm as a result of Scuffles or Death Traps.
Methods of Payment is really intended for
Innocent Bystanders and Chumps who are caught
alone and Buy the Farm, only to be found later.
All that is required is to pick a Dreadful
Deed, the Squishy Body Part that would figure
prominently, and a Weapon from the Slicers &
Dicers Section, beginning on page __, capable of
casing the wound.
Here is a very handy list of Dreadful
Deeds:
Biting, munching and swallowing
Blood draining
Burning
Burying Alive
Car crashes and squishes
Chopping and hacking
Clawing
Crushing
Decapitation
Dehydrating
Demonic childbearing
Detonating
Discoing to exhaustion
Dissolving
Draining life source
Drowning
Electrocution
Food processing
Hanging
Impaling
Infecting
Irradiating
Melting, Dissolving, or Turning to
Slime
Nailing up
Organ Removal
Overwhelming with dark, moody,
nihilistic ambience
Pecking
Petrifying
Piercing
Pinning to a wall
Poisoning
Psychedelicising
Pulling apart
Sawing
Scalding
Scaring
Sexually Overexciting
Shooting
Shrinking
Skinning
Slashing
Sleep depriving
Spiking
Stabbing
Starving
Strangling
Sucking down a tiny drain
Suffocating
Suspending from sharp hooks
Tearing open
Tearing to bits
Tearing off body parts
Teleporting without reintegration
Thirst
Turning inside out
Unspeakable and abominable ways
Zapping
Zombifying by meteorite or gas
Here is a complete list of Squishy Body
Parts upon which the various Dreadful Deeds can
be visited:
Skull
Temple (left or right)
Jaw
Eye (left or right)
Cheek (left or right)
Nose
Ear (left or right)
Mouth
Neck
Shoulder (left or right)
Upper Arm (left or right)
Elbow (left or right)
Forearm (left or right)
Hand (left or right)
Chest
Abdomen
Groin
Buttock (left or right
Hip (left or right)
Thigh (left or right)
Knee (left or right)
Calf (left or right)
Foot (left or right)
Yes, there are smaller Squishy Body
Parts, but their removal, crushing, or whatever
seldom causes enough problems to promote a trip
to the Happy Hunting Grounds.
IF FLAKES CAME IN
FLAVOURS...
Welcome to Quackology 101, or,
getting the psychology wrong, in the right way.
Another useful tool in the war on calm nerves is
psychology. Going Mental is, after all, the most
colourful alternative to Buying the Farm.
Psychology can be invaluable if properly
misrepresented. Especially useful are any ideas
that originally crawled out of the cranium of our
friend Sigmund Freud. Ol Ziggy was first to
dream up a lot of the notions that allow masters
of horror to lend their works psychological
resonance.
Dont panic. You dont require any
chance of passing Psychology 101. You dont
have to understand what the id, ego, and
superego actually represent. In the context of
Scared Stiff, it is the general publics enthusiastic
misinterpretations of the good doctor that count.
Freuds actual psychoanalytic writings are best
left alone.
Youre interested in bad psychological
profiles, vaguely Oedipal situations and anything
that might involve someones mother. Time to
indulge in some not particularly valid hack
psychology.
Psychologists study human behaviour;
psychiatrists are doctors who specialise in mental
disorders. The disturbing frights caused by
unspeakable horrors lead to trauma that causes a
deviation from the accepted norm. This accepted
norm represents not the unknown actuality of
what is truly representative of human behaviour,
but the socially accepted ideal of respectable
behaviour. True proof is impossible because new
facts may always arise to contradict known facts.
Something is scientifically valid only when it can
be conclusively disproven, and a 95% certainty of
the facts at hand is enough for any theory to be
considered valid. It is therefore the role of
psychiatrists to disprove with reasonable certainty
the conformity of a patients mental state to
whatever constitutes the desired social norm.
Once authorities apprehend a suspected loon, it is
the role of the psychiatrist to ask a few questions
and stamp their file just plain nuts to make the
paperwork look official.
The mind can be broken down into its
conscious, pre-conscious, and unconscious
aspects for better comparison to television. The
conscious is like the screen on the channels you
get clearly. It represents your full waking
awareness that represents the tip of your minds
iceberg. The preconscious is like the scrambling
on the specialty channels that cost extra. It uses
symbolism to thinly conceal the sex and violence
that actually takes up most of your mental
capacity. The pre-conscious can be breached
sometimes through dreams and slips of the tongue
that hint at our real thoughts. The unconscious is
like all the TV channels that have what we really
want but either wont admit to liking or arent
willing to pay for. The unconscious is most of our
mind but still remains forever hidden. Creeps can
frighten Victims into going mental because they
are personifications of our deepest fears and can
therefore corrupt our unconscious minds directly
until our conscious minds are poisoned from
below. It is like the regular cable companies
slowly having to change to respond to the
changes on the paid channels, which are
becoming more and more disturbing without most
people realising it.
People have drives and must find
appropriate release or explode. Our instincts of
self-gratification, self-preservation and self-
restraint constantly battle one another to
moderate drives so they are indulged gradually at
the right place and time. There are several
defence mechanisms that protect us from painful
experiences. Any unpleasant experiences can be
overcome by reliance on traditional values,
increasing rigidity, seeking pleasant distractions,
actively forcing experiences into the unconscious,
hoarding what is possessed and working to gain
whatever seems valuable.
As the unconscious mind is polluted by
trauma, our three basic instincts become
unbalanced in their struggle for dominance so one
or another wins out and becomes fat and bloated.
As we become less able to deal with painful
experiences, we rely too much on our defence
mechanisms and develop problems that surface in
long-term changes in behaviour due to our
shifting experience. This change causes people to
become conditioned to abnormal behaviour so the
unnatural seems natural.
Creeps get the way they are because of
genetically encoded instincts or severe trauma
early in their lives. Either way, Creeps deviate
from accepted behaviour to a degree that they are
usually totally unable to exist in normal society.
Victims and Innocents had a healthy enough
upbringing to have existed relatively well in
conventional circles before their exposure to
horrific incidents. An inborn or early
childhood deviance is incurable and is
characteristic of Creeps. It causes an inability to
co-exist with others in normal society but occurs
early enough in personal development that the
Creep could still be more than able to indulge his
own twisted drives. Conditioned deviance is
caused by gradually Going Mental and it occurs
after a person has developed so he cannot adjust
to his trauma sufficiently to either recover or to
function well enough to at all care for himself.
The innate deviance of Creeps is what
makes them irredeemably evil and requires them
to be either destroyed or permanently
incarcerated. The conditioned deviance of Victims
and Innocents, although irreversible, leads to
them being locked in asylums as they become
gibbering jellyfish. The age at which beings
deviate from the blessed norm makes all the
difference between maniacal fiends and drooling
idiots. Brain damage can sometimes cause a
normal person to become a crazed maniac. True
Scumbags can Go Mental and reveal the Creep
that was always lurking just beneath the surface.
Most people can look forward to a large lobster
bib as a reward for fighting evil, however.
An understanding of the laughable
pseudo-science behind Going Mental will enable
an Evil Mastermind to play both Creeps and
Innocent Bystanders convincingly. Creeps are a
combination of cunning archfiend and insecure
bitterly anguished whiner. They do not have the
psychologically complex litany of problems
common to real life psychology they are just
raving, bloodthirsty, and explosive. Innocent
Bystanders that have Gone Mental quiver, drool,
babble and sometimes rave while fleeing or
curled in a comfy fetal position. Now that you
can see inside the dark reaches of mental
abnormality, portraying it well should be as easy
as curing an infant of its oral fixation I mean
taking candy from a baby.
1
TRADITIONAL
TERROR
PATTYS COVE,
MAINE
Pattys Cove is located in a picturesque
natural setting, along the silent fringe of New
England. Made up of the states that are east of
New York (Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts,
New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Vermont),
New England is like a quiet turnoff next to the
other northeastern states.
Pattys Cove is extreme in its isolation.
The major activity of the long-ago colonial
period, which culminated in the explosion of the
American Revolution, was forgotten in favour of
fishing and tourism. There is a small shoe factory,
but no other major manufacturing or resource-
based industry. Excellent lobster stocks make up
for a dearth of minerals and machinery.
Atmosphere: In the summer, countless
tourists come across the Kittery Bridge that links
northeastern Maine to the rest of America, and
some always travel to Pattys Cove. Cars from
New Jersey or Ohio with tents and camping gear
strapped to the roof, recreational vehicles from
Florida, and big and sleek automobiles from New
York bound for generations-old cedar-shingled
cottages. They come to fish, to camp, to sail their
30-foot sailboats near the shore and to picnic
along the rock-rimmed shore at the traditional
spots that are large and flat enough to be
practical. The rush of the city and the sound of
the loonies in the streets it is abandoned for a
while for the rush of the waves and the sound of
the loons in the water. Pattys Cove offers the
summer people space, a change of scenery, peace
and quiet and natural surroundings. Summer and
Fall are times when Pattys Cove is a pastoral
paradise par excellence!
In time, the gaggle of gawping tourists
flees the onset of Halloween and doesnt return
until after the Spring Equinox has thawed the
bleak landscape. In Autumn and Winter, muddy
Maine has a very different atmosphere. The
leaves have turned a dry brown and surrendered
to the despair that comes with the approach of the
cold months. You can hear them whisper as they
stir in anxious agreement with the turbulent
outbursts of the wind.
After dark, cities like Portland dont have
enough streetlights to fight off the dark much
outside the bounds of the city limits and the area
around a small town like Pattys Cove succumbs
even faster to the blackness. Anyone driving out
of the town is swallowed up by the darkness with
surprising quickness and those walking the woods
after sunset are engulfed with alarming
immediacy. The sighing hills that crowd
2
Interstate 95 and its adjoining roads watching for
unfortunate travellers fringe the lonely houses by
the roadsides and lean away from ominous woods
on their opposite flank.
Along the roads there is another Maine
altogether. A place where people never leave the
Vacationland promised by the motto on the
license plates of their aging cars. Away from
where the tourists stop, even in the warmer
seasons, people brood in creaky houses and live
away from their nearest neighbours on the same
few acres that have been in the family for
generations. Derelict automobiles built from rust
scatter the backyards of rural Maine like cars fill
the driveways of suburbia elsewhere.
People grow old in the company of their
own peculiar blend of loneliness, hope, bitterness,
anguish, hatred, fear, despair, pride,
sentimentality, detachment, disappointment and
alcoholism. Only just barely managing the level
of human connection required for a wave and a
nod to the few people to occasionally pass by
their porches, the isolation they know is habitual.
The inhabitants of this other Maine dont relish
visiting others or trouble to extend invitations. To
cluster together for warmth and pretend to like
one another is the way of the true townsfolk a few
miles away. The stolid nature of those who grow
old alongside the hills means never having to
admit to themselves that they dread dying alone.
Population: Hundreds of miles from the
larger centres to the west, such as Boston and
New York City, the towns of northeastern Maine
seem tiny and insular. This is especially true in
Pattys Cove, nestled unnoticed along the coast in
Penobscot County, on the Penobscot River, by
Penobscot Bay. The town of 1,441 souls is south
of the city of Bangor, which totally eclipses it
with barely more than 30,000 people. Even the
nearby big cities seem very small compared to
many places.
Landscape: The area around Pattys Cove
is made up of rolling terrain with numerous bays
and estuaries cut into it. Inside Penobscot Bay
itself, the cove is a small, sheltered recess. The
town of Pattys Cove overlooks the inlet for
which it is named. The town is typical of the
regions coastline, and is surrounded by the sharp,
jagged headlands that were carved out by glaciers
long ago.
Elevation and Climate: The coastal town
is at low elevation, being next to the sea, and
many miles from the Appalachian Mountains to
the west. Its location makes fog common, and it is
cooler in northern Maine than in neighbouring
New York State, even if the sea greatly moderates
the coastal temperature. There is about 50 inches
(125 cm) of precipitation every year. The high
point is by the waterfall (both literally and
figuratively).
Despite the rarity of tornadoes, hurricanes
occasionally lay waste to the coast of Maine, and
coastal storms bring powerful rainstorms (or
snowstorms), as well as strong winds from the
Atlantic.
Nearby Features: The Penobscot River is
101 miles long and travels from the north, near
the Canadian border, south to Penobscot Bay and
out into the Atlantic Ocean.
The town is 100 miles south of Mount
Katahdin, a 5,267-foot tall, resistant granite
formation, in Baxter State Park. The park is the
northern end of the Appalachian National Scenic
Trail, which runs south to Georgia and the
unknown wilds beyond. The mountain and park
are said to have absolutely no crazed madmen,
mammoth prehistoric creatures, ghosts of
Algonquin Indian shamans, or other strange
inhabitants. Government dossiers have no record
of inexplicable events.
Baxter State Park is nearly 205,000 acres
of wilds with 46 mountain peaks and ridges, half
of which are more than 3,000 feet (1,000 metres)
tall. The many trails cutting through the park total
about 175 miles (300 km) in length, and it is
3
considered unsafe to leave the trails, especially in
winter, partly because there can be up to 20 miles
between landmarks. The solitude and adventure
of the forever wild area for wild beasts
demands that the more than 8,500 visitors each
summer accept a higher degree of risk. Wildlife
that can be clearly observed at various hours
consists mostly of moose, bears, deer, racoons,
squirrels, chipmunks, minks, otters, beavers,
muskrats, hares, bobcats, lynx, fishers, martens,
foxes, coyotes, weasels, porcupines and various
regional fish and birds. Luckily, a staff dedicated
to the prevention of unnecessary rescue
situations has done an excellent job of keeping
campers safe with the exception of a few people
every year whose deaths are most often officially
attributed to accidental heart attacks. The fact
that there are fewer than ten known unmarked
graves in the park attests to the scrupulous record
keeping.
Also within 100 miles, but to the west, are
Moosehead Lake, Rangeley Lake, and Sebago
Lake. These large, freshwater bodies are popular
recreation spots, although Maine is dotted with
more than 2,200 lakes and ponds, and over 5,100
rivers and streams, some of which are much
closer to Pattys Cove. The more popular tourist
areas are too frequently visited to be home to
anything dangerous, but there are so many
smaller bodies of water inland that it is hard to
know what goes on.
The entirely ethical Jackson Biological
Research Laboratory is in nearby Bar Harbour.
This town of nearly 4,500 people is situated next
to Acadia National Park and has a regular ferry to
Yarmouth, Nova Scotia in Canada.
Acadia National Park is located on Mount
Desert Island. The park includes Cadillac Mountain,
with the highest coastal elevation on the American
eastern seaboard. Waves have assaulted the coast of
the island for untold eons, eroding the dark granite,
and forming foreboding cliffs. Acadia, along with
Mount Katahdins Baxter Park, is one of 31 state
parks and 15 state historic sites.
Plants: About 90 per cent of the
surrounding area is forested and privately owned.
Most of it is softwood such as balsam fir,
hemlock, spruce, and various types of pines.
There are some black cherry and white ash trees
for hardwood lumber as well as different varieties
of birch, maple and oak. It is not a far drive to the
abundant cranberries of the marshes, but Pattys
Cove doesnt have the sandy soil conducive to
blueberry bushes, as do Hancock and Washington
Counties. In season, wildflowers such as
anemones, black-eyed Susans, buttercups, daisies,
mountain laurels, orchids, rhododendrons and
violets grow.
Animals: Beavers, bobcats, minks,
muskrats, otters, rabbits, racoons, seals, skunks
and squirrels, none of which have been reported
as rabid recently, are the most common
mammals. Chickadees, cormorants, ducks, gulls,
loons, petrels, sparrows and wrens, seldom seen
in large flocks gathered around school grounds,
are the primary birds. Bluefish, clams, cod, crabs,
flounder, lobsters, mussels, scallops and shrimp,
few grown to unbelievably large sizes, are among
the abundant seafood stocks.
Population: The population is almost
entirely Caucasian and is comprised primarily of
those of English, Scottish, Irish and Dutch
ancestry. Here is the population demographics,
separated by general ancestry, with the number of
nuclear families they form in brackets.
White: 1,411 (281)
Native American: 12 (3)
Black: 7 (2)
French Canadian: 6 (1)
Chinese: 2 (1)
Filipino: 2 (1)
Hispanic: 1 (1)
The community is not very religiously
diverse, either. It has only three denominations, a
full half of whose members are non-practising.
Roman Catholic: 67%
Baptist: 23%
Methodist: 10%
Families: There are 290 nuclear families
in Pattys Cove, but only 97 family names, as
there are many extended families dating back
multiple generations. Except for the newest
additions, there are an average of three families
for every name, and each household represents a
generation. A man can take his wife and children
for a walk over to see their grandparents or great
grandparents, and not have to go further than the
next block.
Although irrelevant to visiting tourists, the
locals find pedigree very important and take pride
in the amount of time their extended family has
4
been living in Pattys Cove. They also find the
maintenance of extended family groups to be a
natural way of life and value their small town
ways. You almost never hear rumours of any
deranged family members locked in dark attics,
and if you did, you certainly wouldnt want to be
spreading such tall tales around where any
townsfolk might hear you.
Starting in 1781, just after the American
Revolution, fewer than 20 families came to settle
in Pattys Cove during the 18
th
century. The
numerous descendents of the Agnew, Arnberg,
Austin, Dutton, Graham, Haskin, Hunter, Illman,
Kelso, Lane, Merry, Overton, Palmer, Pengelly,
Rackham, Ward and Wensley families are still
here. Families with these 17 last names fill the
part of town closest to the sea, which is known as
Old Pattys Cove.
The 19
th
century brought gradual growth.
The Black, Fry, Hughes, Lumley, Pring, Spur,
Tait, and Wilens families are first recorded during
this period. They formed the next layer of town,
or New Pattys Cove.
More families settled in town during the
first half of the 20
th
century, but most of them
arrived during World War I. Newer Pattys
Cove was made up of the Birchell, Clarke,
Coop, Dorell, Ingles, Jones, McCormick, McKay,
Morrison, Packard, Preston, Pritchard, Prust,
Simms, Still, Trumble and Upton families.
During the Great Depression, there was a
huge influx of people looking for work in farming
and logging after industrial areas had closed
down. This formed Newest Pattys Cove,
which makes up more than half of the town. They
were the Archer, Allport, Baddely, Bagg, Bain,
Barjarow, Barnett, Baston, Bemister, Biagi,
Coates, Cowan, Dawson, Denholm, Dunlop,
Emmerson, Fawns, Fleming, Flood, Formica,
Gazelle, Glidden, Greer, Gurney, Heard, Henry,
Heskins, Hobden, Horseley, Isaac, Lorimer,
Madill, Massales, Mickle, Nichols, Orr, Peake,
Pearsell, Salvatori, Schroter, Sisson, Teasdale,
Tinney, Tripp, Watt, Pearsell, Roberts, Simms,
Studholme, Thompson, Voicey, Walsh, Weaver,
Wilkinson and Wadsworth families.
Pattys Coves four strata have settled in
and without another major influx of people, the
town will become increasingly stratified and
calcified.
War Heroes: Whenever the people of
Pattys Cove arent taking pride in how long they
have been in the town, they pride themselves on
the brave patriots among their ancestors. The
town has a reputation for producing many very
outstanding soldiers for its size. All the soldiers
from Pattys Cove fought bravely (with the
possible exception of Walter Glidden of the 18
th
Airborne) but there were a few who earned high
honours.
Members of the Bailey, Hobden,
Horseley, Madill, Pritchard, Teasdale and Tinney
families were decorated heroes in World War II,
and the Pritchard family had a member decorated
in World War I as well. Russell Horseley was
killed in action.
The Flood, Greer, Heard, Henry, Isaac,
Morrison, Nicholls, Pearsell, Roberts, Schroter,
Simms, Sisson, Thompson, Tripp, Watt and
Weaver families had members decorated in
Vietnam, but they dont pride themselves on the
fact as much as they should. Rusty Nicholls was
killed in action.
Stanley Barjarow received an in-field
promotion for service in the Gulf War.
Hardly any of the brave, surviving
warriors secretly brought home any Weapons.
Emigration & Immigration: In the
television age, where the world enters the living
room to tantalize small town folk, many of the
children grow up yearning to see the world and
the bright lights of the big city. Where birthplace
is blind fate, after graduating from high school,
many people are lucky enough to be able to
choose a home for themselves as they enter
adulthood. Although many of the youth of Pattys
Cove go away to university and do not return
upon graduation, they are usually drawn back to
live after only a handful of years elsewhere.
Hardly any of them become mentally unstable,
addicts, or alcoholics during their brief sojourns
in the outside world.
Education: The 855 school-age children
in Pattys Cove attend two elementary schools
and a secondary school. Most of the kids bound
for higher learning attend one of the states
Universities or Colleges. A few go outside Maine.
Nearby institutions of higher learning include:
Bangor Theological Seminary (Bangor); Bates
College (Lewiston); Bowdoin College
(Brunswick); Colby College (Waterville); the
5
College of the Atlantic (Bar Harbour); Husson
College (Bangor); the University of Maine
(Orono); and the University of Southern Maine
(Portland).
These are all local centres for research,
with no apparent outward signs that anything ever
untoward is taking place, as is normal with
universities.
The Jackson Biological Research
Laboratory is a significant point of interest to
University science students.
There are many cultural institutions of
note in Maine, but none in Pattys Cove itself.
Energy: Half of the electricity used in
Pattys Cove comes from the Nuclear Power plant
to the west in Wiscasset and the rumours that it
may be on geologically unstable ground are
merely the ravings of tree-huggers. The other half
comes from burning coal or oil.
Transportation: Pattys Cove is not far
from Interstate Highway 95 that runs through
southern Maine and connects the two borders
between New Hampshire and New Brunswick,
Canada. Maines busiest air terminal is only 100
miles north at Bangor National Airport. There are
a total of 107 airports and 35 seaplane bases in
the state as smaller alternatives. Ships navigate
the Penobscot River carrying timber and
petroleum products.
Farming: There are farms on the edges of
Pattys Cove. Nearly half the farming income is
derived from livestock in some way. Beef and
dairy production is common, but hogs are the
most common form of commercial livestock. Hay
and apples are the most common crops, but
wheat, oats, beans and peas are also grown. Off-
season, many farmers log to supplement their
incomes travelling to Boothbay Harbour, Portland
and Rockland for work. There are absolutely no
recorded experiments taking place with
genetically modified livestock or plants anywhere
in the area and anything you may hear to the
contrary is simply idle gossip.
Government: Maine has a 151-member
House of Representatives, a 35-member Senate,
and a Supreme Judicial Court. The states 16
counties, 22 cities, 425 towns and 51 plantation
communities are home to County Probate Courts
and District Courts.
Penobscot County exists mainly as a
judicial district, and it is the towns and cities that
are the pillars of local government. Pattys Cove
itself has a mayors office and a sheriffs office
with a small cell. The citizens of Pattys Cove
address their most grievous concerns at the
annual town meeting. Although most locals vote
Republican in Presidential races, since World
War II they have increasingly elected Democrats
to state and local posts.
Libraries: The Maine State Library
(Augusta) and various university and college
libraries stand out alongside the respectable
showing of Maines 250 smaller public libraries.
There is a single, tiny, public library in Pattys
Cove and an even smaller library in each of the
schools. Nevertheless, a few volumes in the
public library date back to the 18
th
Century and
are to be held closely and jealously by the towns
librarian.
Museums: Maine has a number of small
museums but only a few notable ones. The
Anthropology Museum of the University of
Maine (Orono); the Boothbay Theatre Museum;
the Maine State Museum (Augusta); the
Penobscot Marine Museum; the Robert Abbe
Museum of Stone Age Antiquities (Acadia
National Park); and the Shaker [American
Religious Sect] Museum (Poland Spring) are the
primary examples. Pattys Cove itself has a
museum, which is really a thinly disguised gift
shop devoted to the town and its waterfall.
Art, Music and the Theatre: Maine
boasts a number of small art collections but only
a few notable museums of art. The Bowdoin
College Museum of Art (Brunswick); the Colby
Museum of Art (Waterville); the Portland
Museum of Art (Portland); and the William A.
Farnsworth Library and Art Museum (Rockland)
are the largest. Most playhouses are open only in
the summer. The Lakewood Theatre
(Skowhegan) and the Ogunquit Playhouse
(Ogunquit) are among the best of these. The most
upscale music in Maine is likely the Portland
Symphony Orchestra.
ALIEN INVADERS
THE SEPHALONS
Ancient Roots of Alien Activity: Aliens
from a nearby solar system visited here thousands
of years ago to sow the seeds of future
exploitation. Their first experiments were with
the dolphins, but they found humans more
desirable due to our opposable thumbs. They
found our species in a hunter-gatherer society and
have since shepherded us into a new urban era of
increasing rationalism. These creatures have now
returned to harvest the fruits of their labours.
Yum.
The Sephalons: The aliens, called
Sephalons, have a mixed physiognomy,
resembling a pastiche of squid, shark, frog, and
leech.
They are eight feet long and
fairly lean.
Their skin is gray-green with a
texture like rough sharkskin.
o Sephalons glisten and
have a subtle, sickly sweet odour
from the oily secretions of their
skin.
Their faces resemble squids
o But their mouths are
large, reminiscent of the round,
sucking maw of a leech, with
concentric rings of sharp teeth, and
this gaping orifice exudes a vile
aroma due to the powerful
digestive enzymes in their
stomachs that allow them to eat
almost anything.
o Their teeth are
embedded in fibrous tissue,
because they lack a jawbone, and
are both easily lost and easily re-
grown.
o Their palates are
incredibly refined and their
tongues quite sensitive to taste.
Sephalons have large
protruding eyes with external eardrums
behind them.
o There are gills behind
their bump-like ears.
o Sephalons have good
directional hearing and an
excellent sense of smell but, by
human standards, their vision is
somewhat dim.
Just below their neckless
heads, eight tentacles with razor-sharp
talons radiate outward in a ring and dangle
to their waists.
Their arms resemble the
forelegs of a frog.
The lower half of each
Sephalon is a tail resembling that of a blue
shark.
Sephalons are naturally aquatic
and adapted to cold, high-pressure
environments and Earth-like gravity.
They must constantly swim
forward or they sink.
Being used to the seafood on
their planet, they are especially fond of
salt and grease and as scavengers with an
aversion to strong aromas and flavours,
Sephalons roaming around in their
original bodies can find themselves
attracted to fast food and English pub fare
upon the first tasting.
Sephalon Evolution: The Sephalons have
a very unusual biology and an even stranger
evolutionary adaptation to deal with it. Sephalons
secrete a substance to help shield them from the
highly acidic waters of their natural environment.
This water, although necessary to respiration and
thus to their survival, eventually destroys their
body tissue as they age and their skins natural
moisture levels decrease. To combat this, they
eventually take control of another creature and
leave their old body behind.
Sephalon Cerebral Disgorgement: The
Sephalons have evolved as parasites, and, upon
reaching middle age; their brains invade a host
body and assume control. Sephalons seize
potential hosts with their two main tentacles. The
eight smaller tentacles help restrain any creature
thus grabbed and then make a small incision in
the back of its neck.
The Sephalon brain is a long coil,
resembling a miniature intestinal tract, and it is
contained inside a pseudo-stomach that connects
to its esophagus. The Sephalon literally vomits its
own brain into its mouth, whereupon the long
intestine-like organ enters the victims body
through the incision. It guides itself downward
toward the tailbone, and bonds with the brain and
spinal cord. The Sephalon brain is covered in tiny
hairs that guide it on its journey as it instinctively
follows the flow of spinal fluid until in place. One
end connects to the brain stem and the other to
the base of the spine.
The Sephalons cerebral disgorgement
immediately kills its original body. The
Sephalons can only invade a host from their
original Sephalon body, so the process cannot be
repeated. This hideous parasitism will at best
double the life of the alien.
Sephalons inhabiting a host body are
referred to as Elder Sephalons and are
considered part of the race, even though their
biology is almost entirely that of the host.
Sephalon Host Creatures: Sephalons
tend to choose hosts that are young and healthy so
that their extended lives will be as long and as
pleasant as possible. On their original planet, this
choice of young hosts was mandatory, as the
other indigenous life died of the same failure to
fully replenish natural bodily oils with age.
Originally the water on their planet was not much
more acidic than here, but they despoiled their
environment during the more technologically
advanced segment of their history, slowly killing
off those species that could not evolve to counter
it. You may as well blame the Sephalons for
creating their own problems, as if they werent
already poops. Despite having predatory and
completely amoral regards for other species,
Sephalons have never used members of their own
race as hosts. They consider this cerebral
cannibalism to be a highly offensive topic. On
Earth, of course, they almost always select human
hosts.
Sephalon brains can only bond with
endoskeletal body structures. They require beings
that are logical and rational thinkers, with rigidly
structured minds. Excessive creativity weakens
the Sephalons control because their parasitic
brains assert subconscious control through the
right hemisphere of the brain.
Once a Sephalon has control of a host this
dominance of language, logic and reasoning over
intuition, spatial awareness and artistic skills
becomes especially pronounced. The favouritism
of the right hand over its left counterpart becomes
absolute. The creature comes to rely on the input
and output of the brains left hemisphere as the
right hemisphere is used as a conduit for control
signals.
Signs of Sephalon Domination: Humans
who become host to an Elder Sephalon will
exhibit certain traits that can help distinguish
them from the normal population. Elder
Sephalons lack depth perception and may have
slightly impaired vision. Many wear eyeglasses to
correct minor impairment, or don eye patches to
excuse major impairment.
This lack of depth perception can manifest
itself as clumsiness and would make bras difficult
for them to undo if they were ever inclined to try.
Sephalon-infested humans are all right-handed,
although a few have trained the left hemispheres
of their brains to dominate their left hands and
thereby disguise themselves as southpaws, albeit
clumsy ones.
Elder Sephalons usually work in positions
that utilize technical language skills,
mathematics, science, logic, computers and
structured reasoning. They may also feign
ignorance and undertake unskilled labour
positions where it is advantageous for them to do
so. They do not succeed at careers that require
intuition, excellent depth perception, musical
ability, artistic flair or any regular use of
imagination and creativity.
The body language of Elder Sephalons is
stiff but their movements are deliberate and sure.
Because their original Sephalon bodies always
needed to keep swimming or die, Elder Sephalons
tend to pace and have difficulty sitting still.
Emotional responses are restrained or
faked, and Elder Sephalons often fail to perceive
the humour in jokes. They try to maintain a short
haircut and a consistent appearance. They may
choose hosts who are balding and baby-faced,
often sporting beards and/or glasses. Such non-
verbal communication fosters the illusion that the
Elder Sephalons are stable, compliant, non-
threatening, honest, timid, educated and socially
inept people. Perhaps you know one or two.
Elder Sephalon behaviour often follows a
pattern. They are quiet, introverted, serious,
orderly, cautious and conventional. They value
authority, structure, loyalty, conformity and
status. A few are shrewd, polished and subtle
manipulators. Are you sure you dont know one
or two?
Elder Sephalons also tend to follow a
particular group dynamic when gathered together.
The groups fit a closed structure of authority,
with movement closely watched, doors locked,
privacy maintained and communications limited.
Authority is severely enforced in order to
maintain tradition, unity, discipline and strength
to foster stability.
Values focus on the memory of the past
and there is a zero tolerance approach to an Elder
Sephalon going native and becoming culturally
assimilated by the society of his host. In cultures
with a large percentage of Sephalons, uniforms
are the favourite garb and any dissent is savagely
repressed.
Sephalon Expansion: The Sephalons
evolved into parasites to extend their lives but
their brains still have a limited life span that
rarely exceeds that of the original body and initial
host. As the Sephalons became more
technologically advanced, they started to care
about the quality of the Elder Sephalons lives
and to worry that their most experienced minds
were trapped in bodies without hands or voices.
When the Sephalons expanded into space,
they decided to shepherd the younger races of the
universe toward a form of civilization that would
allow for easier harvesting later. Humanity is one
of the races that have been so led, like lambs to
the slaughter.
Alien Resistance to the Sephalons:
There are resistance groups dedicated to opposing
the Sephalons, comprised of a few members of
the races first conquered, who have escaped to the
freedom of outer space. These groups hoped to
counter Sephalon attempts to guide other races
towards destruction. These aliens, gathered
together in small spacecraft, sought to provide
man with phenomena he could not explain or
categorize. (They are, after all, alien.)
They fought a campaign using artistic
statements of a style the finest surrealist and
Dadaist artistes would envy. Why they thought
this would work is anyones guess.
When humans conducted their first
nuclear tests in the deserts and remote areas of the
world, the explosions were visible from space.
The alien resistance movement investigated them.
They realized that humanitys increasing mastery
of mathematics was a sure sign that the Sephalons
were getting ready to take control of Earth. Now
that humans had harnessed the atom, they were
on the verge of Sephalon domination. Earth
would have to become a focus of redoubled
resistance activity.
The aliens also realized that the deserts of
the world were perfect for their activities as they
would be free of the Sephalon presence. Elder
Sephalons were still a concern, however, so only
people who did not seem enslaved to logic were
chosen to experience displays of the alien art.
Since WWII there have been ever more
frequent and bizarre phenomena witnessed in
remote locations by disreputable yokels than ever
before. Why, if you could believe it, some have
even claimed aliens abducted them. Such trash.
Fathers of Civilization: Unexplained
mysteries through the ages have delayed the
triumph of logic for a very long time. Atlantis, the
pyramids, the plains of Nazca and rock paintings
throughout the world suggesting alien visitors in
antiquity are but a few examples.
Nevertheless, Elder Sephalons such as
Pythagoras, Plato, Euclid, Archimedes, Ptolemy,
Plotinus, Copernicus, Galileo, Kepler, Descartes,
Newton, Hegel, Gauss, Schopenhauer, Darwin,
Einstein, Bohr and Hawking built the foundation
of a Sephalon-friendly civilization. Their
assumptions and assertions have been
transformed into unquestioned dogma. They have
gently guided mankind toward its doom.
Reasons for Sephalon Haste: The
psycho-surreal art play of the alien resistance has
kept humanity from totally succumbing to its
desire to categorize nature for too long; the
Sephalons have grown impatient. An
unprecedented Sephalon baby boom, several
decades in the past, has left a rapidly ageing and
powerful segment of Sephalon society desperate
for a large new host harvest.
Humanity is not yet ripe enough to be
plucked in the usual manner but humans are ripe
enough to be worth enslaving in an overt
invasion. The Sephalons have returned to conquer
humanity and breed us as hosts. Now that we
have become virtual slaves to rationalism, we are
ready to become slaves of the Sephalons.
Sephalon Weapons: The Sephalons
employ laser weapons in the blue-green spectrum.
The lasers work well underwater, and on land, but
are short-ranged and may be blocked by heavy
smog, fog and smoke. These lasers make an
unnerving zing-zang sound when fired, and the
pitch is dependent upon the size of the gun. The
guns approximate the size of Earth firearms and
artillery of the same destructive capability, but
require rechargeable batteries instead of bullets
and shells. Their weapons are equivalent to ours
except in their style. Sound travels extremely well
in water, so much so that tapping on the glass of
an aquarium can hurt, or even kill, small fish. The
Sephalons created weapons that would not
produce loud noises and the pressure waves
associated with that noise. Also, because one of
the most effective underwater detection methods
is SONAR (which uses sound the way RADAR
uses radio waves), quiet weapons proved much
more stealthy and were therefore safer when
evading enemies.
Sephalon Translators: The creatures
learn the native languages of the beings they
intend to subdue. When they speak, they use
vibratory modulators to transform their own
vocalizations into tones approximating those of
the vocal chords of the creatures with which they
are communicating. If the beings are not
underwater creatures, a submerged audio nullifier
is also applied to remove the audible effects of
water upon the speech. Garbled underwater
English could be broadcast as normal airborne
surface English.
This audio nullifier can also be applied to
Sephalon guns as the equivalent of a silencer on a
firearm, although such a use makes the gun run
low on power twice as quickly.
Sephalon Biological Enhancements: The
Sephalons dont use cybernetic or bionic implants
because of the weight of larger pieces and the
psychological aversion they had to invading their
bodies with implants as a primary species.
They have also neglected organic bioware on the
grounds that, You cant take it with you, as
their life cycle enters the host stage too soon for
their tastes.
Sephalon Vehicles: All Sephalon
vehicles are large, pressurized water tanks with
technological attachments and an ability to move.
Sephalons do not wear any form of spacesuit,
battlesuit, environment suit, or CBN (chemical,
biological and nuclear) protection, because their
psychological drive to keep swimming has made
them unwilling to wear such gear. They have
mini-circulators inside the any suits that they
cannot avoid wearing that miniaturize the
circulators in their larger vehicles. to keep the
water flowing and fresh so that it is unnecessary
for them to constantly swim forward even if they
feel great discomfort when forced to have an
itch they cannot scratch. They can therefore sit
still long enough to pilot a vehicle or to
comfortably wear environmental suits (like
spacesuits) when necessary. Damaging this
circulatory system could cause them to lose their
calm efficiency.
Sephalon spacecraft also operate as
aircraft and as submarines. They are ovoid, and
constructed of a metal alloy that resembles
burnished copper in appearance. The environment
exchange chamber, analogous to an airlock, is
drained of internal water while slowly being filled
with outside water before the doors open. For the
same reasons they dont wear environmental suits
when they can avoid it, the control console in
Sephalon vehicles is in the centre of the vehicle
so the crew can literally swim circles around it.
They rig up circulation systems similar to aquatic
air conditioning to get oxygenated water past
their gills without movement, but usually keep
swimming anyway. The water circulation is a
simple addition to the system that keeps the water
inside their vehicles fresh. In open water, theres
lots of dissolved oxygen but in a closed
environment like their ships, that oxygen rapidly
diminishes. The Sephalons are also used to a
colder and therefore more oxygen rich
environment. The warmer the water, the less
dissolved oxygen it can hold thats why there is
more Sephalon activity farther from the equator
and more life in cold water than there is at the
tropics (pretty pictures of bright fishies
notwithstanding). This vital auto-circulator
adds oxygen from on board tanks while removing
wastes during travel.
The Sephalons have no ground vehicles in
the sense of anything that crawls along on legs,
tracks or tires. Swimming through water, space,
or air in a flight-capable vehicle was much more
natural for them than terrestrial locomotion
However, the Sephalons also have skimmers
which are a type of hovercraft. These take the
place of tanks, armoured personnel carriers
(APCs), and trucks. The skimmers are cigar-
shaped and somewhat resemble the bottom-
feeders of their home planet.
How Sephalons Get Humans Before
The Main Invasion: For many millennia,
Sephalons have operated in Earths oceans,
undetected by humans. However, their presence
has been felt, after a fashion. Surely youve heard
of the Marie Celeste, the ship found floating in
the Atlantic with no crew on board, or of the
Sargasso Sea where ships become mysteriously
marooned, their crews nowhere to be found. No?
How about the Bermuda Triangle, where all
manner of watercraft and aircraft have been
reported lost without a trace? Individual
swimmers, jetliners, and boats disappear every
year.
Sephalon Insurgency: The Sephalons
have never had to actually invade anyone before.
Their subtle methods have prevented them from
having needed to. They havent had to practice
their strategy and tactics since they unified their
planet many ages ago. Despite a moderate
military built around scouting new worlds, and
intimidation, policing and the maintenance of
power on old colonies, the Sephalons are not
equal to the task of invading a planet with as
violent natives as we have. A parasitic insurgency
plan has been drawn up for their conquest. The
Sephalons intend to assume positions of power by
taking the places of important people by means of
cerebral disgorgement. Acts of sabotage may be
authorised if absolutely necessary and easy to
conceal.
The Sephalons believe that humans rely
completely on their nuclear plants and fossil fuels
to hold their civilisation together. Power,
combined with communication and transportation
networks, holds nations together. Whereas
common citizens were once self-sufficient and
had both the tools and the skills necessary to
survive without electricity, no such possibility
currently exists. The sudden decimation of our
infrastructure, oil fields and refineries and
electrical supply could result in rapid collapse.
Elder Sepalons inside each organisation
and nation could already be engineering conflicts
between their differing interest groups. Inside
each nation, Elder Sephalons among the captains
of industry and highest levels of government
could implement draconian policies to provoke
students in universities, and industrial workers in
the labour unions to call for strikes and
demonstrations under the guidance of Elder
Sephalon labour leaders.
Poorer countries could be brought to
attempt insurrection in the face of domination by
foreign economies. The national interests of
major powers could be made to collide.
A contained war engineered by Elder
Sephalon provocateurs in the governments of
countries worldwide could be escalated to the
point of limited tactical nuclear strikes without
getting anywhere near a full-scale strategic
nuclear war. With no fuel, food or other supplies
in sufficient stocks to maintain a military effort
and civilian governments collapsing alongside the
rest of society, the Sephalons could launch a full-
scale invasion a few years after a general descent
into barbarism. It is only the slow pace of their
infiltration into our society that provides hope of
stopping them.
How Sephalons Are Vulnerable:
Sephalons have no particular physical
invulnerability. They can be shot, hacked, sliced,
stabbed, and bludgeoned just like all flesh.
However, they are particularly fragile when in the
act of attacking a host because they must remain
mobile while conducting their cerebral
disgorgement and joining with a host. Because
their brains are literally on vacation during that
time, all other activity is impossible. In water,
loud noises are particularly effective in
disorganizing groups of Sephalons. Once a host
has been assimilated, however, current scientific
and medical technology is unable to reverse the
process, although if a suitably bright and
reasonably large team of experts were assigned
the task, who knows what might occur?
Detecting Sephalons: Once the invasion
is launched, of course, the existence of the
Sephalons will be revealed to all. In the
meantime, however, their existence is a secret
shrouded in mystery and known to only a few
humans. Regarded as dangerous radicals, or
perhaps simply as outrageous loons, the small
bands of Sephalon-aware humans contacted by
the alien resistance must operate within their own
bounds of secrecy.
For some strange reason, for
example, its not only the Sephalons who take a
dim view of the assassination of Elder Sephalon
hosts. Earths human authorities, who are
completely unaware of (or at least deny) the
existence of such creatures, also frown on the
practice.
Possible Scenarios for Misadventures:
An Elder Sephalon is the head
of state of a small, Third World country. It
has enslaved the population within a
totalitarian regime and has plans to attack
one of its neighbours to provide more
hosts for its brethren. It has many
minions. Stop them.
You and your party are at a
small, isolated town in Maine, possibly
even Pattys Cove. Swimmers have been
disappearing under mysterious
circumstances, only to reappear later,
claiming they were temporarily lost. Their
friends begin to detect that something is
just a little odd about them. The source of
this sudden plague is a recently
established and heretofore-unknown
Sephalon settlement about a mile
offshore. Destroy it.
Sephalons launch an attack on
a small island nation in the vastness of the
Pacific. You and your party are there on
vacation. Survive.
You are on a trip through an
isolated region of the country. Suddenly,
the radio in your car begins to act
strangely, the headlights flicker and
youre surrounded by a bright halo of
light. You have been invited to a very
strange art display. Please show your
ticket to the usher-thing on your way in.
You are at a famous aquarium
and sea-mammal exhibit with your
friends. All you really wanted was a
Saturday afternoon of relaxation and
entertainment. Youre sitting around the
edge of a huge salt-water pool that can be
opened to the ocean. Suddenly, you notice
that the forms gliding through the pool
dont look like any Killer Whales youve
ever seen. Save the whales and dolphins.
SUPERNATURAL
CONSPIRACY
FIDELITY,
BRAVERY,
AND INTEGRITY
The FBI: The Federal Bureau of
Investigation (FBI) has had the same mission
since its inception in 1908. It is dedicated to
preserving the safety of the American people by
guarding against internal and external threats
while honouring the law and the Constitution that
lies at the foundation of this great land.
The nearly 30,000 employees who serve
in the FBI live by its core values of fidelity,
bravery, and integrity. Every one of these people
is pledged to be truthful, law abiding, fair and
compassionate. It is not acceptable to have one
set of core morals for the job and another for
personal life.
The FBI remains free from questionable
political interference and co-operates with
federal, state and local law enforcement agencies
to promote the interests of one Nation, under
God, with liberty and justice for all.
Alien and Supernatural Conspiracies:
Just as the FBI makes it a high priority to repel
threats from terrorists and spies, it also considers
alien and supernatural conspiracies to be a real
concern. Knowledge of aliens and supernatural
activities is top-secret, and the Central
Intelligence Agency (CIA) directs the
maintenance of that secrecy, but the FBI
investigates all such activity under the guise of
normal inquiries.
Resources: The Annual Budget and
Authorized Personnel Levels of the FBI have
increased noticeably in the past several years and
are likely to increase even more as the 21
st
Century progresses. Part of the reason for this
increase is the growing concern about a recent
upsurge in paranormal activity. Aliens and other
unnatural menaces have not been officially
investigated by the government in over 30 years,
but the FBI does still train people to respond to
more unusual threats despite having ceased
looking into every UFO report from every
crackpot from coast to coast and beyond.
The FBI has a number of scientific and
computer-assisted crime analysis tools available
to its staff. The FBI Laboratory is the finest
forensic facility anywhere. It manages all the
scientific and engineering activities of the FBI.
The lab has recently moved next to the FBI
Academy in Quantico, Virginia, to form the
worlds largest law enforcement scientific
enclave.
Sophisticated DNA tests are now used to
great advantage and all convicted criminals are
required to provide DNA samples. These samples
are stored in the National DNA Index System
(NDIS), alongside DNA evidence from crime
scenes. Much of the DNA evidence from crime
scenes is Mitochondrial DNA (mtDNA) from
such things as hair, teeth, and bones.
Any DNA evidence that does not
correspond to normal terrestrial life is removed
from the NDIS and stored instead in the top-
secret Atypical DNA Index System (ADIS).
Forensic facilities around the USA can access the
DNA files, up to the limit of their level of
security access, to link unsolved crimes together
for better law enforcement. Almost all other
NDIS data is soon entered into CODIS, a
database for law enforcement officers around the
country.
The DRUGFIRE system operates in co-
operation with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco,
and Firearms to link firearm evidence.
IAFIS, the Integrated Automated
Fingerprint Identification System checks
fingerprints against the 34 million sets in the
database. It can do in two hours what once took
days or weeks. IAFIS is located at the Criminal
Justice Information Systems Division in
Clarksburg, Virginia. The new system is vital
because 70 per cent of the people arrested have
been arrested before.
The NCIC 2000 (National Crime
Information Center) is a nation-wide database
containing information on stolen property,
missing persons and fugitives. It contains over 32
million records, in roughly 20 databases, may be
accessed by 80,000 authorized personnel.
The World Forensic Automated Counter-
terrorism System (World FACTS) shares
evidence from terrorist acts with forensic labs,
worldwide.
The National Infrastructure Protection
Center (NIPC) was created recently to monitor
the nations critical water, electricity, oil,
gasoline, computer, telecommunications,
government and banking operations. The Center
was founded in response to what seems a
significant increase in attempts to undermine the
basic infrastructure of America during the last
several years.
The Technology Assisted Search Program
uses archaeological methods and remote-sensing
geophysical sensors to locate forensic evidence
that has been buried or concealed in buildings.
Ground penetrating radar, advanced metal
detectors, earth conductivity meters,
magnetometers, and other devices work together
to spot hidden items.
The FBI has programs in place to work
with telecommunications companies to ensure
ease of lawful electronic surveillance and call
identification in the face of rapidly expanding and
changing technology. The United States Postal
Inspection Service and United States Customs
Service also provide full co-operation to the FBI.
The National Center for Analysis of
Violent Crime (NCAVC), National Crime
Information Center (NCIC), and the National
Law Enforcement Teletype System (NLETS)
collate and disseminate data from various sources
to study crime and to plot its frequency and
characteristics.
More recently, Law Enforcement Online
(LEO) and the Information Sharing Initiative
have been set up as a closed Intranet to share
sensitive, but non-classified, information among
law enforcement agencies. The Federal
Communications Commission (FCC) has
earmarked 24 Megahertz (MHz) of existing
television broadcast bandwidth to be set aside for
law enforcement use over the next several years.
Ideally, 95 MHz is needed to fill public safety
requirements. At this time, the FBI has its
minimum 3 MHz of communications bandwidth
on which to operate the communications that
facilitate inter-operability between federal, state,
and local law enforcement agencies.
Personnel: The greatest resource of the
FBI is its employees. The FBI does not just
require Special Agents. Many scientists work
behind the scenes. These are generally biologists,
biochemists, chemists and physical scientists.
Other scientists are experienced with chemical,
biological and nuclear materials, or
Mitochondrial DNA examinations.
A Special Agent in Charge and an
Assistant Special Agent in Charge head each
division within the FBI.
The most technologically oriented staff at
the FBI earn the popular nickname men in plaid
among the other agents. Their absolute dedication
to computer use and high technology as a means
to save humanity is so extreme that social lives
and fashion sense have been forsaken entirely as
unimportant distractions. Bespectacled and
bearded patriots such as the men in plaid lead
us into the 21
st
century with their advanced crime
fighting techniques.
Standard Gear: Every Special Agent
receives a laptop computer, .40 mm pistol and
credentials, including a badge. Cameras,
flashlights, tool kits and other items easily
purchased at a hardware store are issued
immediately upon request. Automobiles, portable
radios, surveillance devices (bugs), phone tracers
and lockpicks are issued where necessary. More
expensive items are available to teams but not
usually to agents beginning an investigation.
Agents dont actually own any of their gear, but
they are allowed to keep their hard earned
salaries, which are no more than what many other
civil servants make.
Paranormal Activity: The Aviation and
Special Operations Unit (ASOU) lists alien and
supernatural threats among its responsibilities.
Crisis Situations: The Critical Incident
Response Group (CIRG) combines both the
investigative and the tactical experience of the
FBI. Its task is to resolve situations that require
immediate response. Terrorism, building
barricades and hostage situations are among the
quick-response scenarios confronted.
Hazardous Materials Disposal: The FBI
responds to all incidents dealing with Chemical,
Biological and/or Nuclear materials (CBN). A
Hazardous Materials Response Unit (HMRU or
HazMat Unit) is dispatched to sites where CBN is
a danger. Other environmental and/or health and
safety issues may also initiate HMRU response.
Response to menaces from outer space
may require HMRU involvement. This is a
desirable cover because paranormal activity can
also involve CBN concerns.
Foreign Crises: The FBI maintains
offices in the capitol cities of nearly 40 countries.
Each office is staffed by three Special Agents and
an equal number of support personnel. These
offices work with friendly foreign law
enforcement agencies to pursue mutual concerns,
but the majority of the caseload at each Legal
Attach Office is in support of US investigations.
The primary concern of the offices is the
apprehension and extradition of American
criminals.
Rapid Deployment Teams (RDTs), made
up of expert Special Agents, were developed to
deal with crises abroad. They can provide
emergency response immediately, 24 hours a day.
The five foreign RDTs are headquartered in Los
Angeles, Miami, New York City and
Washington, DC (which has two teams). Rapid
Deployment Teams deploy in fast jet aircraft, at
the request of Legal Attach Offices and with the
co-operation of the foreign government involved.
Once on the ground, the task of the RDT is to
start dealing with situations and to lay the
foundation for the other FBI teams that will arrive
later.
The RDTs initial Advance Teams contain
command, investigation, logistical, security, and
communications personnel. They also include
members of the Critical Incident Response Group
(CIRG). The Advance Team arrives within the
minimum travel time it takes to reach the crisis
point. Depending on its location, this could take
anywhere from a few to several hours.
The Legal Attach Office staff and
Advance Team are soon joined at the scene by the
RDTs main body, with over 150 more staff.
Some paranormal conspiracies require quick
international response; so paranormal specialists
in undercover positions may replace members of
the staff where necessary. However, despite these
agents role in undercover, often deeply covert
investigation, it is usually not considered to be a
career-enhancing practice to refer to them agents
as spooks. Not even if youre smiling.
Other FBI Divisions: The Special
Weapons and Tactics (SWAT) division, Violent
Criminal Apprehension Program (VICAP),
Computer Analysis and Response Team (CART),
Crisis Negotiations Unit (CNU), and Crisis
Management Unit (CMU) round out the divisions
of the FBI.
All the sections of the FBI work in
tandem and with local law enforcement to
maximize efficiency in maintaining the safety of
God-fearin, freedom lovin, apple pie gobblin
Yankees, everywhere.
MEGA SIZE
MONSTERS
BRIGHT LIGHTS,
BIG PROBLEMS
The Ice Age Never ended completely. We
still have the polar ice caps that are unique to our
short spell of geological history. These polar
regions preserved a lot more than the snowflakes
of earlier eras. The same polar glaciers that were
the source of very, very expensive ice for
Daiquiris started to melt in the era of the atomic
bomb, and melted progressively faster in the era
of acid rain and global warming, are now starting
to unleash their dire contents. Monsters, long
frozen, awaken from ancient hibernation to
plague man. Once they plagued the Pacific
Ocean, but now they have discovered America!
In the concrete jungle, there are a million
stories to be told. They are all about to be
forgotten. At the dawn of the 21
st
Century, some
very big news items hit the headlines. This is
their story. It is a story bigger than all other tall
tales of the Big Apple combined. New York City
is on the verge of madcap Manhattan monster
mayhem.
The Prometheus statue in Rockefeller
Center was named for the mythic figure who
brought the gift of fire to mankind. Now fire will
be brought to the people once again, with equal
impact but much greater savagery. The fire will
come in a far more literal way with gigantic
heralds.
The Renaissance seer Notredamien
predicted 13 great monsters at the start of the 21
st
Century. We now have a good idea of what the 13
monsters are. Surely there couldnt be other
monsters more terrible than these!
Afterburner Antelope: Made out of
growing metal, this 8 tall android can grow to
150 and shrink back down again at will.
Afterburner Antelope is man-shaped and also
able to extend its forearms to run on all fours and
grow horns for butting. When necessary,
Afterburner Antelope uses the powerful jet
engines that give him his name. It can achieve
Mach 2 speeds this way and engage in hand to
hand fights with airforce fighters.
Beakychew: A 250 long yellow
budgerigar with two heads. Beakychews heads
are identical twins noted for a high pitch
squealing that is shrill enough to wake everyone
within the radius of a city block. Beakychew
perches atop buildings, pecking away at the
architectural accomplishments of the city where it
roosts. It will pluck people out of apartment
windows like worms from trees. When roused, its
sonic chirp is capable of causing great devastation
and threatening even the most powerful Mega-
Monsters.
Creature Zip: The fastest of the Meg-
Monsters, Creature Zip has secondary brains in
each of its limbs for great speed and focussed
response. Creature Zip is likely a silicon-based
life form from space, rather than a carbon-based
Earthly creature. Although it looks like a six-
legged raccoon, the ability to use its head, tail and
legs to independent ends makes its devilish nature
clear.
Doglizza King of Creatures: The most
feared of the Mega-Monsters, Doglizza is a very,
very frisky dog like many others but with one
terrifying difference. Doglizza is the size of a
gargantuan radioactive lizard. Just as birds seem
to have evolved from reptiles, it may be that dogs
did as well, because Doglizza shows some
reptilian features. He is 300 with a 200 tail.
Horridah: Born of radioactive sewage
that coalesced into a monster 180 feet in diameter
and three feet high, Horridah is a mobile tar-like
puddle of sludge with a deadly hatred of
mankind. It is so radioactive that it is a grave
danger to anyone who touches it. It is able to
form pseudopods to clumsily grab at its victims
and remove obstacles. Being a liquid, Horridah
can take any shape to fill whatever surroundings
can accommodate its volume.
Mechadoglizza: A 300 angular metal
copy of Doglizza, Mechadoglizza is a crewed
mecha (i.e a giant robot with a crew) built by a
mad genius who sought to make a robot to defeat
Doglizza. Its dog collar is studded with high
explosive missiles, its eyes shoot laser beams and
it has powerful claws that have been honed to
razor sharpness. It is coated in a shiny metallic
paint that deflects lasers. Just like the technology
on the space shuttles uses tiles to absorb re-entry
heat, Mechadoglizza uses an hardened clay
around its steel frame to absorb the heat from
explosions and fire. Resistance to large-scale
weapons makes Mechadoglizza one of the more
feared Mega-Monsters
Mechaquong: A 200 rounded robot copy
of Queen Quong with powerful hydraulic limbs,
Mechaquong is the Earths last defence against
the Mega-Monsters. Mechaquong is red with
white side trim and is decked out with so much
chrome she has been likened to a walking
jukebox. A huge lighthouse lamp surmounted on
her head warns innocents away and helps her spot
Mega-Monster threats. A surprisingly skilled
climber, Mechaquong is very able to find a perch
from which to lob boulders before advancing to
wrestle opponents. The United Nations has
pinned its hopes on Mechaquong as the ultimate
response to gigantic threats and it must be hoped
they planned well. As a superpowerful force for
good evolved from the shape of a brute animal,
Mechaquong is symbolic of the peace-loving
nations of Earth.
Megalog: Born of the deepest and still
unexplored parts of the South American
rainforest, Megalog resembles a 275 tree trunk
with arms and legs. She exhales poison spores in
huge deadly clouds that look like green fog. Her
major weakness is that she needs sunlight and is
weaker at night and dormant if deprived of the
light she stores for a whole day.
Queen Quong: A huge gorilla 200 tall
and built broad, Queen Quong is the giant
mistress of the uncharted Pacific island on which
she lives. The local natives worship her as a
goddess and use their primitive wisdom to
concoct a calming drug from a collection of the
edible flowers unique to the island. Queen Quong
loves to swing and climb and beats her chest in
eager anticipation before a good fight.
Rattra: A black rat with red eyes that is
225 long. Created by the Earth itself to wipe the
urban plague of environmental destruction from
its surface, Rattra is spawned ready to reproduce
a pestilence of millions of ordinary rats after a
short gestation period. It can leave more horrors
in its wake than even the terrible destruction it
causes directly.
Skeetera: A defender of the secrets of
some mist-shrouded isle where no man ever
treads, Skeetera is a cunning 400 long mosquito.
It comes out at the end of its life cycle to suck
blood from the giant monsters of the Earth, who
are the only creatures with enough blood to
satisfy its immense needs. Once it is drunk on the
blood of a gigantic victim, it flies home to breed
another Skeetera monster and ensure the next
generation survives.
Smoggorrack: Born when experimental
chemicals vaporised and mixed with the smog so
abundant in the big city, Smoggorack is an acid
rain spewing storm cloud 100 around. It lurks
among the lower strata cloud formations about
1500 in the air until ready to descend to the
ground for a fight.
Wreckah: The result of Sephalon
experiments into Earthly evolution, Wreckah is
born. It evolves from a sea creature to a land
creature to a flying creature, spawns and ends its
life within a month. Wreckah starts as a 225
scaled killer whale like thing. After a week, it
beaches itself for an overnight transformation into
a 180 electrified frog type of creature for another
week and finally leaps to high ground for an
overnight transformation into a 150 pterodactyl
that spits lightning bolts. After another week in
this form it seeks out a seaside roost and lays
eggs for an overnight incubation of baby
Wreckahs who crawl into the sea to start the cycle
all over. After a week guarding the area where the
new Wreckahs are, the Wreckah mother is no
more.
NEW YORK, ITS
HELL IN A TOWN
Arrival and Departures: New York City
(NYC) is big enough to have two major airports
and support a third nearby. La Guardia (northern
Queens), JFK International (southeast Queens),
and Newark International (across in New Jersey)
are each served by every major airline. Tickets
have to be bought about two weeks in advance
unless you are lucky enough to get a
horrendously overpriced last minute cancellation.
Taxis to and from the airports cost $20 to
$30 in terms of the mildew toned mugger
magnets locals use as currency. Allegations that
America is run by aliens have proved unfounded
despite the fact that its founding fathers are all
depicted as little green men on its money. The
alternatives are taking an expensive ride in a
helicopter (brightly coloured for easier swatting
and more distinctive plummeting) or a shuttle bus
to the A-Train so good that it is free of charge.
For cars that make any progress at all in
New York traffic jams and can interpret the
gunshots now used in lieu of traffic signals, there
are four ways to drive out of NYC. The George
Washington Bridge, the Lincoln Tunnel and the
Holland Tunnel connect New York City to the
Heaven on Earth known as New Jersey. The I-95
leads one from the scenic particulars of the
Bronx, across the Harlem River into Manhattan
and across the Hudson River along the mile-long,
structurally sound George Washington Bridge.
For those who prefer to be secure in underground
tunnels beneath the Hudson River in times of
trouble, the Lincoln Tunnel and Holland Tunnel
are the I-495s way of telling you it would be
happy to show you the 1,001 delights of
Hoboken, New Jersey. Anyone driving through
Queens before reaching Manhattan gets the added
delight of using the Queensboro Bridge or
Queens-Midtown Tunnel to cross the East River
into Manhattan. The fourth exit into New Jersey
is the Goethals Bridge or Bayonne Bridge from
Staten Island in southwest NYC.
Cars can be rented to those capable of
understanding convoluted contracts, eager to
weed out hidden charges, and happy to discover
fees for returning the car to a different location of
the same car rental service. A low $75 per day
will get you an unlimited mileage rental of an
uninsured mid-sized sedan with a few drops of
gasoline. The bus system inside NYC is only a
buck or two and much more interesting. Live the
adventure.
Buses that go in and out of the city can be
had at the Port Authority Terminal or George
Washington Bridge Bus Station. The Port
Authority Terminal is a mammoth multi-level
hostel for vagrants and hustlers just west of
Times Square in Midtown Manhattan. The
George Washington Bridge Station, near the
bridge which is its namesake, is smaller, less hip
squat.
Ferries are available from the very
southern tip of Manhattan. The Staten Island ferry
travels to Staten Island in an effort to be aptly
named. Staten Islands only other main
connection to the rest of New York is the
Verrazano-Narrows Bridge. Refusing to be
outdone, the Liberty Island ferry and Ellis Island
ferry go to the islands for which they are
themselves aptly named. Ellis Island was the
traditional stopping point of the worlds huddled
masses yearning to be free after their trip past the
Statue of Liberty and its smug smile on Liberty
Island.
Trains come in and out of Pennsylvania
Penn Station in Chelsea, southwest of Midtown
Manhattan. At the corner of West 33
rd
St. and 7
th
Avenue, it is on the same city block as Madison
Square Garden. Dont ask the cabbie to get to 33
and 1/3 or hell take you to a record store.
Staying Awhile: Becoming stranded is a
lot more likely than wanting to stay, but New
York City has so much to see that extended visits
are not uncommon. The most important thing to
know is that there are about 60,000 pay
telephones in New York, nearly half of which are
in Manhattan, some of which may work and very
few of which are sanitary. It is free to call 911 for
police, firemen or ambulances. The large fine for
the prank call you will be accused of once they
arrive several hours after the crime has passed
will more than make up for the quarter they
forgave you. You can use the quarter you saved
to call the Dental Emergency Service and get
dentures to replace the teeth you lost to the
charming local you asked to hurry so you could
call 911.
Rest rooms in public areas are often filthy,
home to vagrants and may actually charge you
admission. Just be wary if the toilet has a
doorman, a bouncer or promises an on-board
movie.
Banks are open from 9 to 3 but there are
plenty of bank machines for greater pick-
pocketing convenience. Post offices and stores
open at 10 and close at 6. A lot of things are
actually open much longer or even up to 24 hours
a day. Never know when you might want quality
pickled pigs feet.
Walk quickly, ignore panhandlers, wear
no jewellery, avoid jostling crowds, avoid
deserted areas and out of the way streets, shun
empty subway cars, beware seedy looking people
and travel by taxi at night. Behaving normally is
suicide. Luckily, the rumours of monsters are no
doubt wildly exaggerated.
Manhattan: The true heart of New
Yorks downtown, Manhattan is made up of
several world-famous neighbourhoods. Harlem
forms its north. The Upper West Side, Central
Park, and The Upper East Side are below Harlem.
Midtown is central Manhattan and contains the
heart of the city. Chelsea and Gramercy are below
that, then Greenwich Village and East Village,
then Soho and Little Italy, then Tribeca and
Chinatown and finally Lower Manhattan with its
famous Brooklyn Bridge. Below Midtown, the
neighbourhoods are only half a mile from side to
side.
Brooklyn: New Yorks first suburb,
Brooklyn is a fashionable bastion of the upper-
middle-class atop hilltops and old-style
architecture. The steel suspension work Brooklyn
Bridge connects Brooklyn to Manhattan and is
not far from the world headquarters of the
Jehovahs Witnesses.
Queens: The west end of Long Island,
Queens is primarily a business district and is
separated from Manhattan by the East River. The
streets are arranged and named (or more usually
numbered) without any sort of sane organisation.
Although city officials might deny any sort of
alien or arcane pattern in the local geometry, they
seem hard pressed to suggest the reason for their
urban planning methods. The 7000 long
Queensboro Bridge connects Queens to
Manhattan and would be a bad place to have a
traffic jam in an emergency.
The Bronx: Waves of immigrants made
the Bronx what it is today. Dutch, Swedish,
French and English immigrants, then the Irish,
Jews, Germans and Italians, then African-
Americans and Hispanics and finally Albanians
and Cambodians have changed the face of the
Bronx since the 17
th
Century. The 1 mile wide
and 1.5 mile long Bronx Park has the Bronx
River at its centre and is home to the famous
Bronx Zoo. It adds a great deal to the lively
working class melting pot surrounding it.
Staten Island: Distinguished from the
rest of the city by its farms, woodlands and
oystering and its primarily residential makeup,
Staten Island is primarily known for its ferry. The
ride on the Staten Island Ferry takes about 20
minutes once you get aboard one of the regularly
scheduled boats and connects the Island to
Manhattan.
Museums and Galleries: There are many
museums and galleries in the city. The American
Museum of Natural History, Metropolitan
Museum of Art and Hayden Planetarium are
prominent features of Central Park. The New
York Hall of Science is in Flushing Meadows,
Queens. The Museum of Modern Art (MOMA) is
in Manhattan in the Theatre District of Midtown.
The MOMA is a temple to masses of beret
wearing cappuccino drinkers worldwide and they
would be crushed emotionally if it were ever
crushed physically.
Architectural Landmarks: There are a
number of buildings in New York that you would
not be able to level without marring the scenic
beauty of the city forever. Carnegie Hall, the
Chrysler Building, City Hall, the Dakota
Apartments, the Empire State Building, the
Flatiron Building, Grand Central Terminal, The
Guggenheim Museum, New York Public Library,
United Nations and Woolworth Building are all
world class. The Alexander Hamilton Customs
House, American Telephone & Telegraph
Building, Bayard Building, Citicorp Center, GE
Building, Haughwout Building, Jacob K. Javits
Convention Center, Lever House, Metropolitan
Life Building, Plaza Hotel, Seagram Building,
Villard Houses, World Financial Center and
Worldwide Plaza are each widely admired as
well.
Historical Sites: The Historical sites of
the city tend to be old mansions. They are
occasionally the birthplaces or residences of
people such as Teddy Roosevelt and Edgar Allan
Poe, neither of whom resemble Ethel Merman,
whatever rumours claim. Occasionally historic
sites are still in use, like the frenzied New York
Stock Exchange, or the glamorous Radio City
Music Hall.
Churches and Temples: Holy places of
every religion and denomination thereof are to be
found in New York, mostly in areas where many
of the people are of the appropriate faith. The
Abyssinian Baptist Church co-exists with St.
Marks-in-the-Bowery Episcopal. Every house of
God seems to be left standing at the end of each
major crisis and the terrified people inside survive
the worst events of history. Priests, ministers and
rabbis everywhere should scold us for doubting
them. Mean, naughty, evil us!
Parks and Gardens: New York has a
surprising number of large parks for a city so
often portrayed as an urban blight. The biggest
and most famous of these is Central Park, where
more than one person is incinerated in a lightning
storm every year. Coincidence? Yeah
probably. The 843 acres of grass, trees, ponds and
one artificial lake are idyllic during the day and a
very lush nightmare landscape after sundown.
Zoos: Every major park in New York has
a zoo with savage beasts just raring to escape and
maul chubby joggers in orange spandex. Luckily,
they and their fashion sense are caged.
Shopping & Dining: F.A.O Schwarz
proves that dodging cannibalistic pygmy mutants
in the worlds swellest toy store can be surreal
and that is just when it is full of kids. Psychedelic
Hippie Elephant Monsters would be really kooky.
Rumpelmayers is a great place to have ice cream
afterwards, but the Harley Davidson Caf is cool,
too, if your kids like to wear studded leather
booties. Macys is an absolutely huge department
store and has been used in many movies and is a
good place to hole up against all manner of
beasties. Forbidden Planet stocks a wide variety
of science fiction, fantasy and horror stuff for the
sort of geeks who are into games and comic
books despite being much too old.
Lodging: New York is positively lined
with hotels that average about $100 per night. Hot
shots will want to spend a few hundred dollars
per night or more for hotels such as the Waldorf-
Astoria, the Ritz-Carlton or the Four Seasons.
Nightlife: The New York City Opera,
New York Gilbert and Sullivan Players, Carnegie
Hall, Mostly Mozart and Radio City Music Hall
provide connoisseurs with entertainment.
Swingers can go to a multitude of clubs around
Manhattan. The Rainbow Room, Russian Tea
Room, Limelight, Palladium, Roxy, Knitting
Factory and CBGB are popular.
TERRIBLE
TERMINOLOGY
GHOULISH
GLOSSARY
3-D Action: Special Misadventures in
which the action is coming right at you and
therefore more dangerous.
Attack: To attempt to Dish Out Lumps in
a Scuffle.
Attractive: To be good-looking and
therefore likely to be Carried Away by Creeps
suffering from Loneliness.
Babble: To communicate information
while Knocked Senseless.
Beat It: To run, speed away in a car or
spur your horse to a quick exit toward somewhere
where you can Hole Up. This is not the same as
to flee from a fright (see Run Screaming, above).
Buying the Farm: To bite the biscuit; the
kick the bucket; to leave for the human equivalent
of Doggie Heaven.
Carried Away: The kidnapping of a
person by a Creep.
Challenge (Self): To try to Overcome a
particular Flaw in order to accomplish something
deliberately.
Chase: Any pursuit on foot, in a vehicle
or riding an animal.
Chump: Any friendly Victim of
Circumstance that is played by the EM. Other
games refer to Chumps as non-player characters,
or NPCs.
CL: The abbreviation for Clumsiness.
Climaxing: This is the tendency of a
Creep to be unstoppable early on, menacing in
the middle of a Misadventure, and, finally,
completely spent at his moment of truth.
Clumsiness: A measure of how clumsy a
person is.
Cowardice: A measure quantifying lack
of bravery.
Creep: Any person or thing that is up to
no good.
Cutting Corners: To deliberately
overlook sensible design theories in order to
make a Gadget quicker to build.
CW: The abbreviation for Cowardice.
Defect: A unique weakness with which a
Creep is saddled such as a vulnerability to crosses
or silver weapons.
Diary: The ongoing story of the string of
Misadventures held together by common
locations, Victims, Innocents and/or Chumps. In
some games a Diary is called a campaign or saga.
Dish (Out): See Lumps Dished Out,
below.
Disreputable: Less likely to be taken
seriously by people in authority.
Edgy: To be alert and a bit jumpy so as to
be sure Creeps wont Get the Jump On you.
Egotism: The need of some Creeps to
Gloat and otherwise pursue self-aggrandisement.
See Foibles.
EM: The abbreviation for Evil
Mastermind.
Evil Mastermind: The person who
referees for the other players, designs
Misadventures and portrays the Innocents,
Chumps, and Creeps. The Evil Mastermind plays
the same role as the Game Master (GM) in other
games.
Exploit: To get a result equal to or under
a Flaw.
Faint: To pass out and collapse in the
face of horror and be safely ignored as a result.
Falter: To trip and fall while moving,
have your horse collapse or have your car stall.
Flaw Modifiers: Numbers that add to or
subtract from a Flaw for the purposes of
Exploiting or Overcoming it. These plus and
minus modifiers can come from situations and are
also standard measures of how powerful a Creep
is.
Flaw: The standard measure of general
ineptitude. Flaws are the Scared Stiff equivalent
of what other games call ability scores, statistics
or attributes.
Foibles: The four self-destructive
tendencies that a Creep can have to balance his
power level. They are Loneliness, Egotism,
Greed, and Stupidity, or LEGS for short.
Freak(ing) Out: So high strung after
deciding to be Edgy and on guard that the player
is useless when the danger arrives.
Fright: Any disturbing sight that may
result in a variety of types of unfortunate mental
rearrangement.
Gadget: Any device that looks
scientifically impressive and that is made
expressly to defeat a Creep.
Get the Jump On Everybody: An action
allowing Creeps to go first in a Scuffle.
Gimmick: A special power based on
super-science or supernatural ability that helps
make a Creep unique. Examples include turning
into a bat or invulnerability to normal weapons.
Gloating: A Creep's compulsion to reveal
his plans and praise his own genius.
Going Mental: To temporarily or
permanently lose hold of your grip on reality.
Goodie: A Weapon, Tool or Trinket.
Greed: The desire of a Creep to acquire
Shiny Shtuff. See Foibles.
Grit His / Her Teeth: To stand pat in the
face of things that should not be instead of
doing sensible things such as running away while
screaming.
Head Off: The ability of a Creep to take a
shortcut and immediately catch up with Victims
and Innocents regardless of distance.
Hiding in Plain Sight: To conceal
yourself in the direct line of sight of a Creep by
staying very still and flattening yourself against
the nearest object.
Hole Up (After A Chase): To be
barricaded against Creeps in room or building.
Favourite (but seldom effective) barricades
include old dressers, stacks of chairs, caskets,
filing cabinets, or the biggest member of your
party
Hurry: To attempt to get things done
faster.
IB: The abbreviation for Innocent
Bystander.
IG: The abbreviation for Ignorance.
Ignorance: A measure of stupidity, lack
of education, and/or weak will.
IM: The abbreviation for Imbalance.
Imbalance: A measure of how convinced
you are that the world is a bad place.
Innocent (Bystander): Any poor loser
that is not portrayed by a player (i.e., is a
character controlled by the EM) but is caught in
the crossfire anyway.
Interpersonal Gimmick: A Gimmick that
affects people other than the Creep.
Knocked Senseless: Rendered
unconscious or otherwise incapacitated.
LEGS: An abbreviation for Loneliness,
Egotism, Greed, and Stupidity. See Foibles,
above.
Loneliness: The need some Creeps have
for companionship. See Foibles, above.
LU: The abbreviation for Lumps.
Lumps: Temporary injuries.
Lumps Bounced Off: A reflection of
how many Lumps a defensive Weapon can
prevent.
Lumps Dished Out: A measure of how
many Lumps a Weapon can cause upon a
successful Attack.
Make An Example Of: To double the
amount of Misfortune a Victim adds from a
Creeps Gloating due to the Victim ridiculing the
Creep.
Mentally Challenged: Facing any test of
intelligence.
Method of Payment: Any way of Buying
the Farm. Methods of Payment are usually
reserved for Innocent Bystanders who need help
Buying the Farm. Victims of Circumstance
usually Buy the Farm in Scuffles or Death Traps.
MI: The abbreviation for Misfortune.
Misadventure: Any self-contained plot in
which Victims of Circumstance become
embroiled. Other games often call Misadventures
dungeons, adventures, scenarios, or
modules. Crazy.
Misfortune: A way of paying for lucky
breaks in the present, by accumulating points that
ensure future bad luck.
Model: A broad personality type that is
more defined than a general Stereotype, but less
precise than a full Profile.
Moment: A measure of time equal to
precisely one very short time period. Moments
play the same role as a round or turn does in
many games.
Move: To propel oneself or to be
propelled.
Mushy Stuff: Any kissing or other
physical expressions of romantic intent.
On the Fritz: When a Goodie is lost,
misplaced, broken, or otherwise damaged so that
it can no longer be used.
Overcome: To get more than the Flaw.
The number to be Overcome is based on
whichever of your Flaws the Evil Mastermind
judges to be most appropriate.
Personal Gimmick: A Gimmick that only
affects the Creep who has it.
Physically Challenged: Facing any test
of physical strength.
Player: Any participant in the game. The
term is seldom ever used to include the person
acting as Evil Mastermind. Each player is the
subconscious mind of the Victim of Circumstance
that player portrays.
Primary Flaws: The Weakness,
Clumsiness, and Ignorance Flaws.
Profile: A list of 13 physical details that
help distinguish Victims, Innocents, and Chumps.
Pull A Fast One: To do something
sneaky and go first in a Scuffle.
Pushing Your Luck: Attempting to
Overcome Misfortune in order to get a lucky
break.
Repress: To shove terrifying sights which
are hard to cope with into a part of your mind
where you wont ever have to think about it
again.
Reputable: More likely to be taken
seriously by people in authority.
Run Screaming: To flee in terror from a
fright rather than face its full implications. The
sensible thing to do, but the action that characters
in b-movies somehow almost never do. The
opposite of Grit His / Her Teeth.
Scuffle: Any physical conflict.
Scumbag: A Victim who is acting as if he
were a jerk, meanie, sadist, cad, bounder, heel,
slimeball or worse.
Secondary Flaws: The Cowardice,
Imbalance, and Superstition Flaws.
Self Help: The gradual tendency of
Victims to learn from their mistakes and end up
with lower Flaws.
Shiny Shtuff: Any object a Creep might
desire that can be carted away.
Spot: The basic structural unit of a
Misadventure. A situation and/or location
containing a smaller goal, which, in turn,
contributes to the major goal. Other games often
call Spots episodes, scenes, rooms, or
parts. Imagine that.
Stereotype: A commonly held and mostly
correct generalisation of what a person is or does.
Stretches: A measure used in Chase
Spots equal to precisely one fairly short distance.
Stupidity: The tendency of some Creeps
to act moronically at important junctures. See
Foibles, above.
SU: The abbreviation for Superstition.
Superstition: A person's acceptance of
the unexplained.
Swarming: The tendency of members of
mobs to mill around aimlessly. Such inactivity
has an effect on Misfortune.
Sympathy: To shower understanding
upon a Creep in the grip of Loneliness, despite
the Creeps attempts to kidnap you.
Take Longer: To have an action of the
opposing side inexplicably delayed.
Terra Bella: Translated terribly from the
Latin, Terra Bella means "beautiful world." It is
the unofficial name of the world of Scared Stiff, a
world known to its inhabitants as "Earth."
Tertiary Flaws: The Misfortune and
Lumps Flaws.
Tool: Any Goodie that is useful in the
game but cannot hurt anyone unless it is also a
Weapon.
Trinket: Any Goodie that has no use in
the game and exists for merely aesthetic reasons.
Uniquely Challenged: To have to
Challenge yourself using a Flaw other than
Clumsiness or Ignorance.
Use: To operate a Goodie or Gadget.
VC: Victim of Circumstance.
Victim (Of Circumstance): The central
heroes portrayed by each player in Scared Stiff.
Everyone other than a Creep encountered by the
Victims is either a Chump or an Innocent
Bystander run by the EM. Victims are referred to
by other games as characters or player characters
(PCs).
Weakness: A measure of how feeble you
are.
Weapon: Any Goodie that can Dish Out
Lumps.
Wig Out: To raise a Creeps effective
Weakness Modifier for the purpose of breaking
things.
WK: The abbreviation for Weakness.