Scribd Logo
Upload

Welcome to Scribd!

  • 113 views

    Beer Troubleshooting Guide

    Uploaded by

    Enrique Barajas
    This document provides troubleshooting advice for various symptoms that may occur after drinking beer. It lists symptoms in the left column and corresponding causes and corrective actions in the right two columns. Some key symptoms addressed include feet being cold and wet, inability to recognize people or rooms, distorted singing voice, and blurred or moving floor. The corrective actions generally involve drinking more beer, finding one's way home, or exiting inappropriate situations.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as XLS, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd

    Beer Troubleshooting Guide

    Uploaded by

    Enrique Barajas
    113 views6 pages
    This document provides troubleshooting advice for various symptoms that may occur after drinking beer. It lists symptoms in the left column and corresponding causes and corrective actions in the right two columns. Some key symptoms addressed include feet being cold and wet, inability to recognize people or rooms, distorted singing voice, and blurred or moving floor. The corrective actions generally involve drinking more beer, finding one's way home, or exiting inappropriate situations.

    Original Description:

    Original Title

    Beer Troubleshooting Guide.xls

    Copyright

    © © All Rights Reserved

    Available Formats

    XLS, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd

    Did you find this document useful?

    Is this content inappropriate?

    This document provides troubleshooting advice for various symptoms that may occur after drinking beer. It lists symptoms in the left column and corresponding causes and corrective actions in the right two columns. Some key symptoms addressed include feet being cold and wet, inability to recognize people or rooms, distorted singing voice, and blurred or moving floor. The corrective actions generally involve drinking more beer, finding one's way home, or exiting inappropriate situations.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as XLS, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as xls, pdf, or txt
    113 views6 pages

    Beer Troubleshooting Guide

    Uploaded by

    Enrique Barajas
    This document provides troubleshooting advice for various symptoms that may occur after drinking beer. It lists symptoms in the left column and corresponding causes and corrective actions in the right two columns. Some key symptoms addressed include feet being cold and wet, inability to recognize people or rooms, distorted singing voice, and blurred or moving floor. The corrective actions generally involve drinking more beer, finding one's way home, or exiting inappropriate situations.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as XLS, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as xls, pdf, or txt
    of 6

    BEER TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE

    SYMPTOM

    Feet cold and wet

    Feet warm and wet

    Beer unusually pale and tasteless


    Opposite wall covered with fluorescent
    lights
    Mouth contains cigarette butts, back of
    head covered with ashes

    Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet

    Floor Blurred

    Floor moving

    Room seems unusually dark


    Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect
    and textures
    Everyone looks up to you and smiles

    Beer is crystal-clear

    People are standing around urinals,


    talking or putting on makeup
    Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually
    clear
    Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize
    the room you're in
    door.  Toilet may be conveniently located
    next to your bunk
    You are dancing to a Village People song,
    and your partner is wearing leather
    chaps

    Your singing sounds distorted


    Don't remember the words to the song
    BEER TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE
    CAUSE

    Glass Being held at incorrect angle.

    Improper Bladder Control


    a. Glass empty.
    b. You're holding a Coors Lite

    You have fallen over backward.

    You have fallen forward


    a. Mouth not open
    b. Glass applied to wrong part of face
    You are looking through bottom of empty
    glass

    You are being carried out

    Bar has closed


    Beer consumption has exceeded personal
    limitations
    You are dancing on the table
    It's water! Somebody is trying to sober
    you up

    You're in the ladies' room

    You have been in a fight

    You've wandered into the wrong party


    a. You're in jail
    b. You're in the navy

    You're in a gay bar

    The beer is too weak


    Beer is just right
    NG GUIDE
    CORRECTIVE ACTION
    Rotate glass so that open end points
    toward ceiling
    Stand next to nearest dog, complain
    about lack of house training

    Get someone to buy you another beer

    Have yourself leashed to bar

    See above

    Retire to restroom, practice in mirror

    Get someone to buy you another beer


    Find out if you are being taken to
    another bar

    Confirm home address with bartender.


     If staff is gone, grab a six-pack to go
    and hit the nearest fire escape door.  Run
    Cover mouth, open window, stick head
    outside
    Fall on someone cushy-looking

    Punch him

    Do not use urinal!  Excuse yourself, exit


    and try the next door down the hall. Try
    to get phone numbers (optional)
    Apologize to everyone you see, just in
    case it was them

    See if they have free beer


    roommate, and under no circumstances
    sleep on your stomach
    Keeping your back to the wall, edge
    toward nearest exit.  Do not accept
    offers for backrubs
    Have more beer until your voice
    improves
    Play air guitar

    You might also like