CANCER

CHE M IST OF CANCER TRAITS

Note: This checklist describes the traits of one phase only; if
it doesn't seem to fit you, check other lists to find the phase
you are in right now.

1. Subjective 14. Domestic 27. Tenacious

2. Intuitive 15. Materialistic 28. Sensitive Ego
3. Introspective 16. Subtle 29. Mediocre Self-
4. Moody 17. Manipulative esteem
5. Emotional 18. Thin-skinned 30. Possessive
6. Imaginative 19. Petty 31. Self-centered
7. Dreamy 20. Vengeful 32. Selfish
8. Patient 21. High Sex Drive 33. Great Sense of
9. Retentive 22. Sensitive Humor
10. Fearful 23. Nostalgic 34. Dramatic
11. Overprotective 24. Crabby 35. Cancer's Feminine
12. Fretful 25. Sentimental Mystique
13. Security-conscious 26. Magnetic
 84 SEX SIGNS

CANCER PERSONALITY
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet
Are of imagination all compact . . .
WIT T TAM SHATIFCPF ARV.

A Midsummer Night's Dream

General Traits and Background

THE CANCER WOMAN is a fascinating, changeable, guarded female, a nymph, muse, mother, poet. She is
part doer, part dreamer, and seldom the twain do meet.
Cancer is especially associated with the moon. That is why Cancer-type people are sometimes called "moon
children." Perhaps the label "child" is consistently attached to Cancer because of her intense emotionalism.
Physically, Cancer-type people nor-
mally have rounded faces that resemble the full moon.
The Bible likens the moon to the tree of life. The Cancer Woman is the tree of life and nourisher of others on the
physical plane. She is invested in the basics: food, shelter, reproduction. Her emotional life tends to be stronger than
either her physical or her mental and logical impulses. If eros and logos are interpreted as respectively feminine and
masculine, the Cancer Woman is definitely richly supplied with the first and undervalues the latter.
Her lifelong challenge is to bring her own ceaseless changeability, akin to the ebb and flow of tides caused by
the moon, into balance with her equally deep-rooted resistance to change. She must learn to live without trying to
control life, to accept it as a dynamic process full of unpredictable factors, and to transcend her protective-
mother role and become a full-fledged human being.
Cancer is the fourth sign of the Zodiac, Cardinal Water. The other two water signs are Scorpio and Pisces. The
cardinality of her sign pushes the Cancer Woman to action and self-expression. It anchors her to the present, though
much of her would prefer to live in the past. Because she is cardinal, she harbors a desire to expand her world
beyond the home. Because she is water, she is often reluctant to do so. She is emotional, impressionable,
absorptive, imaginative, psychic, subjective, dramatic, in-
dulgent, and self-indulgent.
She readily absorbs and retains every type of energy, from psychic impressions to fast food, but she finds it
difficult to release. She tends to store things for a rainy day and thus condemns herself to accumulate a vast
collection of unnecessary emotions and fat cells. Typically, she must fight fat and bulk all her life.
Lady Cancer stuffs her house with collectors' items as relentlessly as she stuffs the stomachs of those she invites
to a never-ending round of meals. She tends to have the most gorgeous and gourmet-fed children on the block, to
be an expert gardener and household advisor as well as muse of sensuality to her mate and mother to the world.
She is apt to be passive yet to make her mark. Though she is moody and introverted, her keen emotional insights
border on clairvoyance. Though she is dramatic, she often shies away from self-knowledge and genuine, deep self-
revelation. Do not sell her short, however, and never write her off as a mothering wallflower. She frequently
assumes important public responsibilities and becomes a popular personality. She is potentially an excellent public
speaker, storyteller, and humorist.

CANCER 85

The Cancer-type woman is one who has the sun or other important planets in Cancer, or the ascendant in Cancer;
many planets in the fourth house, the natural house of Cancer; or a powerfully aspected moon. The Cancer type is
described by the checklist of traits at the beginning of this chapter.
Cancer types are also those who are temporarily going through a Cancer phase. The Cancer phase has the
following characteristics:

1. Giving birth and nurturing; motherhood, biological or symbolic. The woman

in this phase can be a full-time mother to her children, or she can mother
the office, neighborhood, and everyone she is in contact with. Portnoy's
mother, as described in Philip Roth's book, typifies this aspect of Cancer.
2. Nesting; setting up a protective, nourishing, oasislike environment free from
the cares of the world. Cancer often has a green thumb and gardens outdoors
or fills her home with plants that look as healthy as if they came from an
arboretum.
3. Feeling a sudden urge to study gourmet cooking, collecting, home decorating,
or floristry, or to start a home-care business.
4. Seriously pursuing psychic hobbies, especially mediumship and seances. She
may have visions, clairvoyance, telepathy, and recognition in this phase.
5. Overindulging in food and worry. These are Cancer fetishes. Worrying about
anyone dear to her or about various aspects of house and home is a sure sign
of the Cancer phase.
6. Being moody or intensely concerned with the basics, with survival; having
problems with her mother or with mother figures.
7. Experiencing an urge to return to the place of birth.
8. Having problems with the stomach, alimentary canal, breasts or chest cavity,
uterus, mucous membranes, or elbows.

In the best sense, the Cancer phase offers a woman overall protection and enables her to enjoy a sense of cosmic
motherhood without possessiveness and energy drains.
The Cancer Woman can choose to express her emotional energy positively or neg-
atively. Because it is the staff of life to her, it is essential that she learn to channel it positively. On the positive side
Cancer is unconditionally loving, flexible, strong, in-
tuitive, magnetic, nurturing, yielding, emotional, creative, visionary, energetic, giving, caretaker, persistent,
discriminating, feeling, and patient. On the negative side Cancer is smotheringly loving, moody, inconsistent, stuck,
a negative medium, using, con-
trolling, manipulative, possessive, helpless, irrational, dreamy instead of active, fearful, imitative, clannish,
materialistic, clinging, defensive, overindulgent, and passive.
Typical Cancer professions are agriculture, animal breeding, baking, biochemistry, boating; work with canals,
ponds, fountains, oceans, rivers, brooks, baths; work with the disease of cancer; caretaking, catering, collecting;
commerce and banking; cook-
ing and domestic affairs, either in one's home or politically; psychodrama, water therapy, and other work with
emotions—in general, counseling with methods that do not rely exclusively on words; parapsychology; fishing,
floristry, food preparation or storage, gardening, glasswork, homemaking, hotel work, work with kitchens or
kitchenware, work with land (growing things, selling and buying land, etc.), mer-
chandising, meteorology, work in the milk industry; nursing, nutrition, obstetrics; managing, selling and buying,
constructing places near or on the water, plumbing, municipal politics, real estate; work with restaurants, silver,
swimming pools, or tav-
erns; social service, storekeeping; any occupation connected with women in general.

86 SEX SIG NS

Subjective, Intuitive
 The Cancer Woman tends to operate as if she were the center of the universe, her own ultimate guideline for
evaluating all she feels and sees. Whereas a primarily logical person looks for criteria that are objective and outside
herself, the subjective

Lancer lady looks to ner own sixtn sense nrst and Ian. alle 110CS Hut IJCIICVC 111 JUUKILIS a book by its cover, so she will judge
it by its "aura." She trusts her own intuition best and consistently processes her impressions through this psychic
filter. She has no great need for scientific confirmation since she tends to consider her impressions as facts.
To the Cancer Woman, feelings are quite definitely facts. She is not averse to using logic—it's just that she rarely
needs it. Though everyone in town may plant bulbs in March, she knows it is foolish to plant until the first full
moon in May. And her garden invariably supports her conviction.
The Cancer Woman tends to be subjective. She sees things from her particular, individual perspective, heavily
biased by her emotional background. She uses her intuition to bid in bridge, to draw up her budget, to predict next
year's elections and her daughter's grades, to choose her wardrobe, plant her roses, and second-guess her husband.
She can be an outstanding psychotherapist, for she sees into people and "psyches out" things others are often
unaware of. She is especially perceptive in family matters and highly intuitive about how people have been
influenced by their origins and their mothers.

Introspective, Moody

The Cancer Woman wishes to avoid overt conflict at all cost. Her usual policy is to evade the heat of action. Let
Leo roar and Aries ram people head on; Cancer will stand by and watch for the first opening she can slip through
without causing waves. She does not like to rock the boat; she would rather row it gently but surely to its
destination.
She is sentimental and introspective. She derives so much pleasure and information from diving into her own
unfathomable depths that she simply turns tail and zigzags away when something displeases her. Retreat does not
faze her, for she knows she can usually get her own way if she waits long enough.
The moon is her mistress, but she must learn to master the moods that the quarter-
moon seems to inflict on her four times a month. Cancer reflects the solar and lunar phases and the changes in the
weather. Many a Cancer Woman swells up with the full moon and feels nervous two weeks later at the new moon.
The Cancer Woman's challenge is to channel her psychic sensitivity in the most productive and enjoyable
direction. To fear her moods and the prescience that un-
derlies them is the worst thing she can do. She should attempt to treat her sensitivity
as a gift and use it in the service of people and causes close to her.

CANCLP 87

Emotional

The Cancer Woman normally lives in a state of internal anxiety of gigantic pro-
portions. She is highly sensitive to people and ambience, and she reacts emotionally to everything from yesterday's
newspaper headlines to her bank's change of hours.

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seems as placid as a sailboat in calm waters. But she is less the Rock of Gibraltar than an unpredictable sea.
Idle fancies or passing statements can throw her into a tizzy. Upsets make her stomach tighten, and she is a
professional worrier. She adores music and is apt to fall into a romantic reverie at the sound of her favorite song or
sonata. Flowers, scents, and pictures awaken old memories and strong feelings. Without intense reactions, the
Cancer Woman feels only half-alive.

Imaginative, Dreamy
The Cancer Woman is apt to be born with a storybook in her head and an internal landscape that would challenge
a Rubens or a Bosch to do it justice. As she appears to be contentedly gazing into the distance or into her partner's
eyes, she may be picturing Arcadian shepherds cavorting at a picnic or a pair of passionate lovers engaged in
Felliniesque foreplay.
She has a pornographic, erotic imagination and tends to daydream of heroic macho men, elegant S&M orgies,
luxurious homes sporting Roman baths and pleasure rooms. She often acquires a refined taste for erotic art and may
collect it. If asked to differentiate between an erotic art collection and a pornographic one, she would probably
answer that though the former is expensive and valuable, the latter is a better deal and more fun.
She is impressionable, more a dreamer than a doer except in emergencies. When necessary, she can rise to the
occasion in majestic style. She may behave like an absentminded queen lording it over her subjects, but when her
children or other close ones are in trouble, she acts with the speed of a hare. She may prefer her daydreams and
inner world to the outer one, but she can function very well indeed when she chooses.

Patient, Retentive

The Cancer Woman is a paragon of patience. She can outwait anyone, and she uses this strategy to gain
credibility, affection, or power. Hers is the eternal potency of water, which carves riverbeds out of gigantic
mountains through the slow process of erosion.
She can't quite fathom the rat race or understand people who are always in a hurry. She has no intention of
getting ulcers or having a heart attack over little things, thank you. Her fire sisters who elbow people aside
indiscriminately won't catch her in such a frenzy. She feels out situations slowly and subtly, expecting the world to
come to her before she must go to it.
Her entire outlook is retentive. Politically, she tends to be conservative, wishing to
 88 SEX SIGNS

preserve old values and lifestyles. Economically, she is usually thrifty and wants to hold on to her funds.
Socially, she tends to have long friendships. She likes the ritual of Christmas and birthday cards and keeps
in touch over the years. In love, she will
probably cling to her mate and her home base. Physically, she tends to retain water and to blow up quickly with
extra calories.
Her memory is unusually good. She can probably recall her earliest years without

effort and does not need hypnosis to recite what she learned about the birds and the bees in third grade. She tends to
favor the fashions of yesteryear and often dresses with pretty, feminine charm that seems vaguely but deliciously
out of date. She likes collars with embroidery, or traditional tailored pieces that never go out of style.

Fearful, Overprotective, Fretful

The Cancer Woman typically slays more dragons in her imagination than Queen Isabella persecuted heretics
under the Inquisition. That is because Cancer lives with more dragons than anyone else, except perhaps her Pisces
sister when she succumbs to the doldrums.
The moon lady is a worrywart. She complains, nags, whines, cajoles, and seduces, all with the intention of
safeguarding her loved ones so as to spare herself further worry. Worrying probably makes her feel a participant in
the activities of others.
Fear has a way of eroding her self-confidence. She may develop phobias about snakes, spiders, or heights. Fear
can block her personal and professional growth by destroying her already weak initiative. Fear makes her cling to
the safe route and the known path. It is responsible for her almost legendary overprotection of her children and
general smothering of people. If she has a genuine desire to make people com-
fortable, she usually has an equally real fear for their safety and happiness.
The mother hovering breathlessly over her teenager with admonishments to be sure to fetch the milk, say hello to
the policeman on the corner, call Dad at lunch break, avoid drafts, and come home on time is the Cancer Woman. If
you have met a mother who warms her child's pajamas in the oven on cold winter days and bakes three desserts
when Grandma comes to dinner, whose house the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus never, ever miss,
you have just met the Cancer Woman.

Security-conscious, Domestic, Materialistic

Only Taurus can equal Cancer in her energetic concern for security, the material aspects of survival.
Cancer tends to focus on the basics: the quest for food, shelter, and the guarantee of comfortable, if not
luxurious, living absorbs her. Sex is basic too, but the Cancer Woman tends to use it as her security blanket.
The Cancer Woman understands why progressive zoos create homelike habitats for their animals. As far as she is
concerned, people who lack a home that resembles their childhood-conditioned ideal are almost always rootless,
unhappy strangers on this earth. She believes that a good meal and nice family could fix just about everyone.
The Cancer Woman plans ahead, and her plans tend to revolve around material security. She wouldn't be
caught dead impulse-buying, and fly-by-night fads leave her cold. She is more interested in steady
accumulation: money that generates more

CANCER 89

money; a house that rises in value; clothes, jewelry, and furniture that have enough intrinsic worth not to
depreciate.
She could not be convinced to throw caution to the wind and trust fate to protect her. She is determined to protect
herself and usually feels that difficult days are just around the corner. In fact, she is somewhat of a pessimist, or
perhaps a realist, de-
pending on one's point of view. Liquid assets or actual dollars are the real signs of

security to her, and she may have an account with more than one local bank.
The Cancer Woman can become obsessed with existential uncertainty. She can become a miser who hoards
resources for tomorrow and neglects to live today. When she clings to things too much, she usually becomes more
anxious and may put on weight and enjoy life less.

Subtle, Manipulative

The Cancer Woman spins her web subtly but dramatically. Nothing is too mundane to spark her imagination, and
nobody is too insignificant to attract ,her notice. She is not the sort who turns around to stare at people, but she
appraises them thoroughly out of the corner of her eye.
She is knowledgeable about the art of living because she herself is an artist. She tends to be a participant, rarely
an outside observer. She is not usually the flamboyant center of attention, but she may be the only one who knows
what is happening behind the scenes. She reads subtle clues with her intuitive eyes and sends them out herself.
Because she is a water sign, the Cancer Woman is almost never a direct, head-on announcer of anything. She is
more comfortable acting indirectly, happier seeding minds through the power of suggestion than brashly hitting
people over the head with her brilliance. If she wants something from an intimate, she will probably find it difficult
to express her needs directly. She often has trouble asking for what she wants, and she may procrastinate so long
that she misses the boat. She is often guilty, too, of the glass-head syndrome, believing that anyone who loves her
should auto-
matically know what she desires.
The Cancer Woman often falls in the trap of manipulating people, sometimes without consciously meaning to do
so. She simply finds it temperamentally difficult to speak directly about topics that make her uncomfortable. She is
uneasy with dis-
agreement and overt conflict, with expressions of disappointment and hurt, with ag-
gression and intimidation. She fears ridicule, and like a crab, she tends to withdraw into her shell in order to avoid
it. Because she has a guarded, partially hidden nature, it is almost impossible for others to know what she is feeling.
She can make people who love her feel like innocent but unwanted and ignorant bystanders. The clues she
telegraphs are subtle, and she probably prefers it that way. She adores mystery, and she uses it to keep the upper
hand. Loud, boisterous behavior and overt aggression are not her style. She feels she will always achieve more by
being her naturally intro-
verted self.
She may operate successfully by subtly manipulating those around her. However, in her primary relationship,
she is likely to pay a heavy price in the long run. Mates who are consistently outmaneuvered or manipulated tend to
end up resenting the invisible strings that Cancer so skillfully fingers. No partner likes to be set up to take the
responsibility or blame for situations that are encountered by them as a couple, yet that is precisely what Cancer
tends to do to her mate.

90 SEX SIGNS

Thin-skinned, Petty, Vengeful

The Cancer Woman is vulnerable to sniping, criticism, and aggression, and she is uncomfortable with people
who lack social conscience or personal sensitivity. She has very thin skin and is often hurt by an unintended slight.
 Since she has a long memory,

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remark Ms. Gemini tosses off. Ten years later, when Gemini comes to visit, she is likely to find Ms. Cancer cool
and bitchy, and Gemini will never know why.
The Cancer Woman is often petty about insults, real or imagined. Since she is so subjective, she tends to take
almost everything personally. She can understand a busy doctor not remembering her first name, but she will never
forgive him for not asking about her family. If she feels that she or her home and family have been betrayed, the
Cancer Woman frequently retaliates. She can be extremely vengeful, for example, if she suspects her partner of
infidelity. There is cruelty in her nature, and she is bound to make him pay for it; endless, merciless sulks, spending
sprees, and accu-
sations are not uncommon.

High Sex Drive, Sensitive

The Cancer Woman is full of delightful surprises. She is shy, but she is highly sexual. She is intuitive, but she is
also strongly physical. These combinations are difficult for members of the opposite sex to resist. She is a desirable
woman who may promise little verbally but still convey the feeling that she delivers a great deal. She may faith-
fully guard the home gates or climb the ladder of worldly success, but she is rarely, if ever, out of touch with a
deep, almost primitive sensuality. Purple and indigo are often her favorite colors. Her sexual nature throbs with the
full-blooded blue-red lust of desire.
She seems to burst with the promise of wondrous enfoldment and tortuous inner paths. She is sensuous in the
most basic sense. Just watch Cancer go through a store full of clothes and accessories, and you will see her touch
nearly everything as she walks by. She will touch silk, suede, and fur twice, not with the tips of her fingers, but
with the full, open palm of her hand.
She is likely to seek sensation, and the visual is not enough. She is not as gifted with words as some others, for
the physical seems to her more real, somehow more important. Sex, to the Cancer Woman, is something she lives
and breathes. She tel-
egraphs sex in the way she walks, smells, cooks, smiles; in the way she creates mysteries with her body and moods;
in the way she dazzles company with her superlative hos-
tessing and intuitive attentions. She can please any man in bed, as long as he is accessible to her, as long as he is
sensitive, and .. . as long as she finds him useful.

Nostalgic, Crabby, Sentimental

 The Cancer Woman has a strong psychic link with the past, often through her mother or grandmother. She may
miss the grandeur of the past, ignore the challenge of the present, and fear the possible decadence of the future. She
probably wishes she had lived in an era when antiques were new, when collecting things was not as

CANCER 91

expensive, when the universe seemed more orderly and predictable. She is nostalgic for a time gone by, a wistful
era of dance cards and crinolines, the smell of magnolias and roses, garden parties, and politicians who did not vie
for equal time on television but kissed the baby instead.
Thus, it is small wonder that she gets crabby sometimes. After all, when she sees what could have been and
comnares today's reality to her vigil-mg the nrecent celtintn

r-
measures up. Declare a moratorium on the past, turn her on to the wonders of the twenty-first century, and she may
forget her memories—but only for the moment. War and Peace, Gone With the Wind, or Anna Karenina will bring
it all back, and there she will be, wiping away the tears and softly sobbing, wishing people would leave her alone.
The wonders of space-age travel may never excite Cancer as much as the thought of living in the lap of Southern
luxury or consorting with the Russian aris-
tocracy. And if anyone pushes her or insists she is wrong, she may just get crabby.

Magnetic, Tenacious

The Cancer Woman has the gift of drawing people to herself while appearing to stand stock-still. She is active
while appearing reactive, a combination many people find hard to understand. She is like an actress who knows her
lines but sends them out wordlessly. Those who pick up the message are drawn to her by an almost tele-
pathic cord.
She is exceedingly tenacious, persistent, patient, and stubbornly unyielding. What she wants, she will get, if not
today, then next week—and she is not likely to part with it, either. One hopes that what she holds onto is what she
needs, and that she learns to release negative feelings and influences as she matures.

Sensitive Ego, Mediocre Self-esteem

In ancient Egypt, Cancer's sign was represented not by the crab but by the scarab, or dung beetle. Both creatures
are protected by a shell, and the Cancer Woman, too, seems to need a layer of defenses to cover her soft, tender,
vulnerable side. The crab, like the scarab, has the function of devouring the transitory and thereby effecting
regeneration. The Cancer Woman, by absorbing the negative emotions around her and replacing them with her
healing balm, can bring about spiritual transformation.
The Cancer Woman is often self-doubting and cantankerous. Above all, she fears rejection and humiliation; for
example, she may see venom in the petty rejection of an angry salesclerk. Her biggest problem is that she
personalizes everything and often feels as if the world might victimize her if she fails at all times to protect herself.
She is sometimes devious and often deceptive, retiring and yet an opportunist. Because she is attuned to people
and can almost predict events, she can be extremely successful. She is a born politician, being interested in gossip
and the efficient use of people's weaknesses. An excellent way for her to raise her self-esteem is to combine her
domestic involvement with outside work. Whether she focuses on charity, therapy, the professions, volunteer work,
or local politics, the Cancer Woman needs to find ways to avoid smothering her close ones, ways to spark her own
self-confidence outside the nest.
Advice to friends: the Cancer Woman needs her ego built up. Do not push her,
 92 SEX SIGNS

never demand! Instead, ask her gently and supportively, guide her to take initiative, and teach her to take risks. Be a
model of action, not a complainer; be a doer she can admire but not fear.

Possessive, Self-centered, Selfish

The Cancer Woman is apt to be so invested in her man that she becomes exceed-
ingly possessive. She may try to turn anyone she loves into one of her children. She frequently fashions
relationships in which she is the mother or authority figure on whom others become dependent. This position gives
her a great deal of control, and though she is loath to admit it, it is often control she wants.
She is insecure enough to be envious and jealous of people who appear in some way superior to her or who may
seem to lay a strong claim to her man's affections. She is sometimes competitive with other mothers if they are well
liked by her own children. She likes to rule the roost, and she must be Number One in the heart of her family ... and
Numbers Two and Three as well.
The Cancer Woman seems to want things on her own terms. She is clever at setting people up to fulfill her soft-
voiced commands or even her unspoken needs. She tends to activate a nurturing instinct in friends and lovers, who
often go out of their way to do as she bids them. She tenaciously holds, to her view of how things should be done
(try to cook in her kitchen or use her office or laundry room, and see for yourself).
The Cancer Woman is very selfish. She wants all of the good things for herself. She will go to great lengths to
make sure that her wants are satisfied. She will not share her treasures with others. They are hers and hers alone.
Cancer Woman, you must learn to release your double standard and let go of people. You yourself do not wish to
be owned; why try to own others? Your tenacity, if misdirected, can create dissent or disaster.

Great Sense of Humor, Dramatic

If you are in a restaurant and you hear a throaty chuckle or an irresistible aria of giggles, you are probably
listening to the Cancer Woman. She is a deliciously humor-
filled person with a comic gift.
The Cancer Woman tends to dramatize life, though generally not flamboyantly. She is effective when she drops a
tear or two, or when she gurgles her deep, sexy, quicksilver laugh. She can find humor in every story.

Cancer's Feminine Mystique

The Cancer Woman's special, astrologically delineated task is the generation, birth, and nurture of other
creatures. She is the natural cosmic mother and teacher, care-
taker not only of her children but of the whole suffering world.
The moon means change, growth, and decline—constant cycles of regeneration. The moon measures and
determines terrestrial phases, exerting a mysterious influ-

C A N C E R. 93

ence on women's biological clocks, on vegetation, sea creatures, and bodies of water. The Cancer Woman's ruling
planet has an essentially passive character, however, for it receives its light from the sun. Its most significant impact
on our consciousness has been its archetypically feminine night side. The moon is seen in this role as maternal,
 enveloping, unconscious, and ambivalent in that it is both protective and dangerous.

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The summer solstice launches the Cancer Woman, symbolically endowing her with a perfect potential balance
between the night side, represented by her ruling planet, the moon, and her day side, symbolized in astrology by the
sun. She is born with the destiny and the potential to be a woman energetic enough to provide a masculine
counterweight to the dark, cyclic forces of her own feminine nature.
The Cancer Woman is maternal in the most universal sense: she is designated as caretaker of the physical and
emotional realms. Carl Jung noted that the mother is in touch with the collective unconscious, the nocturnal side of
life, and is the source of the Water of Life. Cancer's empathetic, sympathetic nature is maternal, and she is primarily
energized by emotional urges and practical ideas centering around people she loves. The Cancer Woman embodies
the anima role, in which she first bears the feminine image that every man projects upon women. She is, in fact, the
collector of projections and in this sense the Eternal Woman.
Her qualities of solicitude, nourishing, care, prescience, and patience, her emo-
tional/intuitive approach, need for roots, and ability to provide roots and protection in her turn, her feeling-
dominated nature—all are quintessentially feminine. She gets people to take care of her, but in fact she can take
care of herself. She may appear to absorb the life and light from others, but in truth she provides them with
endlessly regenerated images and energy from the depths of her own soul. In this, too, she is highly feminine.
She is apt to be moody, insecure, charming, introverted, ceaselessly changeable yet resistant to change; a good
teacher, even a preacher; touchy, bitter, proud, resentful; conservative, dramatic, guarded but perceptive; practical,
protective, inspired, and inspirational; fond of her home, ambitious, sensual, slightly melancholic, with a tendency
to hysteria; possessive, envious, sometimes greedy; powerful but often subtly so; indulgent, self-protective,
spoiled; vengeful, closed, fretful, begrudging; nostalgic. She is strong yet vulnerable, sexy yet maternal. In short,
she is utterly, totally, one hundred percent mysteriously female.

CANCER RELATIONSHIPS
Cancer must learn how to love without trying to own the people she loves; she needs also to be more fully aware
of when and how to end bad relationships. Breaking up may be hard to do, but for the Cancer Woman, it is pure
hell. She seldom lets go, frequently clinging to losers or victimizers. She is often mistreated by men.
The Cancer Woman senses the real balance of power in human relationships, but unfortunately she often sees
them as win-or-lose propositions. She always gets what she wants, but she frequently wants what deep down she
does not truly need. Thus, she is a winner who in a hidden sense may be a loser. Her manipulative tendencies and
introversion often shut out the very people she needs most; lack of communi-
cation, blocked emotions, self-pity, and moodiness are frequent Cancer problems.
She is apt to attract many friends and potential lovers, for people seem to bask in

94 SEX SIGNS
 her need to give and do for them. She is often a substitute mother, amateur therapist, or spiritual midwife. Just as
plants thrive in her greenhouse atmosphere, so do people trek to her door, anxious to receive her ministrations.
She fluffs pillows behind pained backs and concocts magical potions for sleepless-
ness, headaches, or stomach pain; she reads poetry to soothe frazzled nerves and
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become highly dependent on her and fall victim to her potent charm. As long as she uses her power to heal and
help, no harm is done, but she must keep the Negative Mother from taking the reins.
When Cancer is frustrated, she tends to withdraw from the battle of daily life. Friends suddenly find her changed
and frequently unreachable as she closes off and sulks. She can turn into a psychic drain, for she saps others' energy
with her repressed hostilities. It is easy for those who love her to feel abandoned, fearful, or guilty, and since she
seldom offers direct explanations, they are left to fend off worry and mount-
ing resentment by themselves. This pattern may repeat itself cyclically, and it can leave a chain of unhappy
relationships in its wake.

Childhood

The Cancer Woman frequently has an extremely strong link with her mother. It can be nurturing or destructive,
helpful or hurtful. In most cases, its very potency is threatening, and many a Cancer feels the need to turn her back
on her mother in order to establish her own identity. Years later, she may find herself imitating Mama, and one can
only hope the tie has been cleansed of its destructive aspects.
The Cancer girl often has an outrageously domineering mother who skillfully com-
bines the archetype of the destructive, omnipotent female Kali with that of the Virgin Mary, or saintly mother. She
may be a very strong woman who uses her femaleness manipulatively to force others both to cater to her and to
obey her. Her daughter often grows up ambivalent, conflicted about the power of the feminine, uncertain what
motherhood is really about. Above all, the Cancer daughter grows up not really knowing herself.
The other pattern typical of the Cancer girl is an overprotected childhood. She may be ill or be a weakling or be
the baby of the family who is coddled too long for her own good. She may live behind walls long after she should
go out to experience life. She may be a homebody, happy tied to Mother's apron strings eating her home-
made cookies. Later, fearful of being on her own, isolated, unsure of her resources and talents, she may resemble
Laura, the heroine of The Glass Menagerie. In Laura's life, collecting—a Cancer hobby—has taken the place of
relating.
Many Cancer women have dreams about their mothers, dead or alive, especially at turning points in their lives.
Interestingly, four Cancer ladies told me approximately the same story. Each had been awakened the night after her
mother's funeral by the mother's ghost tapping her on the shoulder and reassuring her daughter that she was at
peace.
The more truly giving and accepting the Cancer Woman is, the more likely she is to be happy in her
relationships. Unfortunately, she is normally conditioned to give with strings attached, to hold back watchfully until
she is sure she can trust—which may be never. This insecurity stems in part from her especially strong mother
influ-
ence and subsequent identity problem.
The Cancer girl tends to learn the importance of money very early, and money

CANCER 95

often continues to be an important concern. She is typically a product either of a family chronically short of money
or of a family that spoiled her. She respects money a little too much and is usually avid for the luxury and status it
can bring her.
The Cancer girl tends to be impressionable and easily influenced. On the other hand, she can fool people easily
 and often does so. She needs to make sure she does

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what she needs to value later in life if she is to be happy; this is especially true where her materialism is concerned.

How the Cancer Woman Relates:

Lovers and Other Intimates

The Cancer Woman can charm and magnetize people by offering to take care of them. She has a maternal yet
seductive quality, a softened, persistent willfulness. She may resemble a spoiled child who promises to impart the
unique gifts she has col-
lected if only she is sufficiently loved.
The Cancer Woman tends to have many, mostly female acquaintances but few close friends. She can keep friends
for a lifetime, for she is usually connected to those she loves by an intuitive link strong enough to counteract
physical separations. She is also a good correspondent and loves to select and send cards for every occasion.
Her romantic life is a different and more complex story. She can find and keep a man; what is more difficult for
her is to get rid of a man who is wrong for her or, alternatively, to maintain a sexual relationship after years of
mothering.
The Cancer Woman is a prime candidate for early marriage because her sleepy tumble out of the nest often
prompts her to seek instant shelter. If she marries with-
out emotional maturity and sexual experience, she will have problems. She and her mate are bound to grow at a
different pace and in different directions over the years. She often marries the wrong man early and finds this out
too late; just as often, she clings tenaciously to her mistake, hoping against hope to avert defeat or, even worse,
ridicule.
The Cancer Woman tends to be proud, stubborn, and emotionally self-protective. Paradoxically, she, who is so
giving, is also very withholding. Her secret fears, doubts, and jealousy barely ruffle the surface, yet these hidden
emotions color her relation-
ships. She easily feels abandoned or hurt, and she tests intimates to verify their loyalty to her. Her natural self-
protectiveness may in time become a shield that prevents access and outflow. To the rest of the world, the Cancer
Woman usually manages to look like an Academy Award winner, but over the years she may dig herself into a
fearful rut that only she and her mate suspect.
Cancer, I advise you to evaluate the following as honestly as you can: (1) Your true desires in your primary
relationship. Do your needs and desires mesh? Is your life fulfilling? (2) Your level of confidence and security, your
possessiveness. How honest are you in your relationships? You must recognize your Achilles heel if you are to be
happy. Your tendency to possessiveness and passive manipulation arises mostly out of usually monumental feelings
of anxiety, fear, and distrust. In a word, the source of your problems is insecurity.

96 SEX SI (; N S

Insecurity in the Cancer Woman

The Cancer Woman's insecurity is classic in that it probably started with self-
rejection generated from babyhood impressions. However, the most compelling and universal reason for self-
 rejection is rejection by someone else. Deep down, Cancer

may fear that self-knowledge and revelation would uncover not a narcissus oui an ugly frog. She is self-protective
all her life, partially because of this belief.
Cancer, I advise you to make an inventory of all your assets. Concentrate especially on those you have ignored
or taken for granted. If you are insecure, unaware of your assets, you will be unable to make the best use of them or
to develop them further.
Make a list of all the risks you've ever taken, from the tiniest to the biggest. Next to each, write the outcome. You
will see that you've succeeded far more than you've failed. Keep the "Risk List" with you and refer to it when you
feel anxious and unsure about your next decision. Another exercise is to imagine the worst thing that could happen
as a result of a risk you have decided to take. You will see that this worst outcome is most often not as bad as
something you've already experienced and over-
come.
A frequent result of Cancer's insecurity is excessive caution. The Cancer Woman tends to be as super-cautious as
a newlywed giving a large party for the first time. But though the nervousness of an inexperienced hostess is
understandable, Cancer tends to retain a generalized wariness for decades.
There is a world of difference between voluntary logical caution and involuntary obsessive caution. A young colt
who has just learned to walk is naturally nervous and watchful. His movements are measured, slightly off balance,
but rapidly improving. He has controlled grace, harmony, self-protective insight. However, the obsessively cautious
person lacks these qualities, instead adopting a stiff, slow, tense, clumsy body language. The Cancer Woman's
incessant caution is ultimately self-defeating; it is not a realistic response to situations that are no longer
characterized by newness, that no longer challenge her survival.
Another frequent manifestation of insecurity is secrecy and manipulativeness. If Lady Cancer does not wish to let
on what she thinks and wants, she is likely to try to get results indirectly. She may try to subtly control others in
such a way that she achieves her goal without overt communication (i.e., without taking risks).
The Cancer Woman is so rich in sensation and subjective intuition that she is quite vulnerable. A hint of
displeasure, a word, a nuance, a silence, a gesture, or a sound can hurt her. If she does not protect herself, she
suffers. If she protects herself, she may go too far and encase herself in impenetrable armor or turn to
possessiveness and exploitation. She must learn to walk the fine line between just enough caution and too much
self-protection.
Cancer, you must learn to eliminate needless caution and to refrain from secretive, self-protective, self-rejecting
acts. Throwing caution to the wind at the right time is utterly exhilarating, and you may be forced to try it. You will
have to cope with new patterns of relating, new adventures, new experiences, for life will inevitably bring them.
Holding back as a result of insecurity is as fruitless as wanting guarantees where there are none.

A NCEP 97

Coping with Insecurity:

The Cancer Woman in Love

The Cancer Woman falls in love as she does everything else: slowly and cautiously. Impulsive action makes her
uncomfortable, and she considers falling in love a serious

commitment.
Cancer wants from her man material security first, exclusivity second, and social status third. She is unlikely to
fall in love with a man who does not offer at least two of these. The only thing that can propel her into an
uncharacteristic rash choice is the occasionally unbeatable urge to leave home. Once she has made up her mind to
fall in love, she takes any dilemma by the horns and prepares to resolve it. She is bound to throw all her weight into
one relationship, to try to make mutual dreams come true.
The Cancer Woman in love is a peerless partner for the man who wants to be babied, pampered, catered to, taken
care of, slowly seduced; if he wants security, solid roots, traditional domesticity, and passionate sensuality that is
more reactive than generative, he will find it with her.
The Cancer Woman is a superb player of romantic chess. She seems to know exactly how to make her man fall
desperately in love with her. She is imaginative, perceptive, and persistent, a combination which most often makes
her Number One in the com-
petition for man. She understands strategy in the psychic warfare between the sexes without ever having
consciously learned the rules. And she knows how to draw the lines in her favor.
In love, she is delightfully yielding, accommodating, and often quite domestic. She can manage both outside
work and home, and nothing can stop her from creating the perfect domestic ambience. She is more than likely a
good cook and fine hostess, and she will always cater to her man's tastes and desires.
Cancer in love is also exceptionally magnetic. She draws men to her as surely as the queen bee attracts devoted
workers. She manages to be just helpless enough to inspire a man to take care of her, yet she is sensitive and self-
reliant enough to put a great deal of effort into serving him. Submissiveness becomes her, for she yields with a
sparkle and a wise look in her eyes.
The storybook in her head has extra appeal when she is in love, so that despite her caution and materialism, she
is often starry-eyed and blind to potential problems. The Cancer Woman in love blooms with the sensuality of a
fragrant rose, the delicacy of lily of the valley, and the exoticism of a hothouse orchid. At the same time, she is
tougher than she seems.
In love, she considers no one and nothing more important than her lover. She is convinced she has the world by
the tail, and it would take an earthquake or repeated infidelity to make her change her mind. She is bound to
combine the erotic imagi-
nation of Anal's Nin with the earthy sexuality of Lily Marlene. Love helps her to overcome some of her shy
pragmatism. It makes her relax her guard and teaches her self-disclosure. The man who hurts her at such a moment
will never regain her trust.
The Cancer Woman in love stands on the verge of a momentous decision, for to her love almost always means
marriage. If love leads her to the altar, she must be careful that she continues to grow sexually. Too often, the
Cancer Woman marries, becomes a domestic expert and mother figure, and takes the road to overweight and
asexuality.

98 S I:, X SI GNS

Patterns in the Cancer Woman's

Sexual Relationships

The Cancer Woman tends to display the following patterns in her sexual relation-
ships (to some extent these apply to platonic ties as well):

1. Her hormones awaken early, though her conditioning may deter her from
acting. She tends to have a secret love affair with her sexual self and may be
more open to physical experiments than to the risky ups and downs of emo-
tional engagements. Masturbation may be a very frequent activity.
2. She tends to marry early, either to escape a difficult home situation or to
gain security, hopefully with status.
3. She is apt to want a family and may have many children. She is unusually
pleased by domesticity as long as she can run the house as she chooses. She
must be allowed to control the budget as well, for managing money makes
her feel secure. She needs to belong to a unit.
4. She usually forms relationships cautiously, even with her children. She rarely
loves with abandon and may in fact apportion her affection deliberately, as
if with measuring spoons. Her relationships tend to build slowly, to peak
intensely, and to last with various degrees of closeness for a long time.
 5. She needs to feel she is the center of some group and likes to be in control
of her marriage or main relationship. She may not acknowledge her need
openly.
6. She often has a troubled marriage. Though she seldom likes to cope with
change or crisis, she can do it well. Few Cancer Women live as tranquilly as
they would like, and many inch painfully toward separation or divorce.
7. She finds it extremely difficult to live and let live, and almost impossible to
let go of anyone she loves. She may hang onto a disastrous relationship much
longer than logic would dictate.
8. If she divorces, she is bound to take it hard. Guilt and depression are com-
mon, but with time, she heals well. A hint to the Cancer Woman: you can
have several sequential marriages within the same marriage, and you would
probably prefer it that way.
9. Though she is often a paragon of virtue and a good mother, she can also
secretly pursue extramarital sex. She is gifted at illusion, and often the Can-
cer Woman who is named Mother of the Year in her hometown is the same
one who enjoys passionate afternoons with a lover totally unlike her husband.
10. She is a good friend and wife as long as she does not feel betrayed. Her
friends and her husband must be extremely careful not to hurt her, humil-
iate her, or make her feel isolated or abandoned. In these instances, she is
likely to retaliate with a vengeance.

Lovers and Husbands

Above all, the Cancer Woman needs a man who accepts her strange moods without demanding explanations. She
probably couldn't give them if she tried, and it is far better for him to accept her as she is and cuddle her than to
push her.
She needs a man who can build a cocoon around her, eventually enveloping the

CANCER 99

two of them and their offspring. She wants to feel protected from the ugliness and neediness of the world, and she
dreads poverty. Therefore, her man should make enough money and have enough financial acumen to keep the
funds flowing. She needs a mate who is solidly respected in the community, for she wants his respecta-
bility to cast a benevolent light on her. She needs a man with a deep sensuous streak, one who enjoys luxury and
caters to her own need for it.

She needs a man stubborn enough to match her own tenaciousness and unwilling to be devoured by her. She will
undoubtedly try to run the household, to own him in subtle or dramatic ways. Her man should be secure enough not
to fight her at every step of the way, but if he does not draw the line and stand his ground, she will lose respect (all
cardinal signs seem to have this in common).
Though she hates being pushed, she will probably test and prod her man on child raising, finances, home
building, gardening and decorating, and community involve-
ment. She needs a man who has his own absorbing ideas, pursues interests indepen-
dent of hers, and stakes out a turf he can retreat to.
Cancer's man must appreciate her deeply feminine, receptive, nurturing side, but he must also perceive her
ambition and insecurity. He needs to help her balance dreaming with doing and action with reaction, to replace
passive aggression with honest dealings.
She needs a man who adores her but demands honesty, who won't get permanently lost in the maze of her
subconscious, who will warn her, make her aware when she unknowingly follows her mother's dangerous footsteps.
Her man will have to under-
stand, too, that Lady Cancer is capable of running a home and an office at the same time and in many cases needs a
professional outlet for her energies. He must learn to be objective enough to evaluate her as a friend would, for she
herself is intensely subjective and emotional.
My advice to her man is as follows:

1. Avoid making her insecure, for this will bring out the worst in her. Find out
what makes her feel emotionally and financially secure, and discuss what steps
must be taken to accomplish this together.
2. Remember that she is often unaware of her insecurity, especially when she is
under twenty-seven years of age. She is often engaged in some type of power
struggle with her mother, and this must be resolved to her satisfaction before
she becomes completely available to you.
3. Accept her moods as best you can. She is amazingly sensitive and intuitive,
and she constantly picks up and reacts to vibrations.
4. Help her to accept and develop her intuition and psychic faculties in a positive
vein.
5. Work with her to overcome her fears and the withholding that results from
them. Don't let her overeat as an escape.
6. Insist on developing a budget for money, for time together, for good com-
munication. The more practical your approach, the better she will understand
and support you.
7. Give her lovely gifts, from flowers to jewelry. If you can afford it, give her a
place of residence she can decorate to her heart's desire. And never forget
her birthday!
8. Do not interfere with her friendships with women. She may be very close to
some women friends and may at times talk to them more than to you. If you
are jealous, remember that only more self-confidence and more open com-
munication will help.

100 SEX SIGNS

9. Do not try to own her, but do not let her own you either. Possessiveness is
likely to be a big issue. Work toward resolving it.

CANCER SEXUALITY

The Cancer Woman's most intriguing sexual secret is that she is much more dom-
inant than she appears. Her modest facade disguises a tigress with a solid, repetitive repertoire. She won't be
rushed, loves to be fussed over, prized, snuggled, and wooed, but when she takes the reins, her man is the one to
surrender.
The Cancer Woman tends to keep her intense sexuality under wraps. She does not flaunt it; she sends it subtly
over the airwaves. The perceptive observer warms to the steady sexual glow telegraphed by her mincing, swaying
gait and her teasing, laughing eyes. She seems to invite caressing, and the man who gets close enough to nestle on
her ample breasts will find she wants more than a hug.
Our three primary cultural taboos are sex, money, and death. The Cancer Woman specializes in sex with love
and prefers solid money as the foundation of love's edifice. She usually leaves speculations about the metaphysical
aspects of life and death to others, especially to Scorpio and Pisces. Cancer is most invested in the quality of her
life today and in assuring it for tomorrow.
 She is reputed to dislike male roughness and to be a shy, sensitive maiden. In fact, she is a shrewd, maternally
inclined conservative who probably tried sex very early and found it disappointing. A roll in the hay or a one-night
stand is not her style. The Cancer Woman's kind of intense sensuality needs to be awakened, fed and fer-
tilized by tenderness, then brought to bloom by passion. It may take a series of men to rouse her, and they must
understand that the timid, delicate maiden needs to be gradually introduced to her potent libido.
She seems to be the type of woman who likes to be made love to and dislikes being the aggressor. In the early
years, especially when she is playing roles and playing for keeps, this may be true. However, her old-fashioned,
sentimental femininity often covers a dominant Circe, poised on the edge of release. What makes her fly is a man
who understands her need to dominate, accepts it, and from time to time is able to exchange roles with her.
Cancer's opposite sign is Capricorn. Her subconscious nature reflects the deep insecurity and consequent need
for worldly possessions of that sign. The Cancer Wom-
an's tendency to couple sex with love may well be a mythology sold to her in child-
hood, a convenient spice added to her natural fears. In reality, she is quite able to enjoy what used to be called free
love. Her flights of imagination cover every aspect of it, and there is enough obligation and duty in her life that she
may find voluntary, easy sex a welcome respite. Sex, and nothing but, often becomes her preference in later years.
The key word in understanding Cancer's sexuality is conflict. She frequently expe-
riences conflict between her security-seeking domestic side, which is supported by society and by her upbringing,
and her freewheeling, libidinous, voluptuous sensuality and sexuality. She often dams this up, with much assistance
from society. On the one hand, the Cancer Woman is a stickler for etiquette, including the sexual proprieties; on the
other, she needs to surrender to sex and cannot do so while bound by social role playing (the mother image we hold
is almost wholly asexual, for example).
The Cancer Woman is caught on the horns of the modern woman's dilemma. She

CANC ER 101

has tremendous sexual power and is very attractive to men. She is drawn to men and to the idea of marriage and
family, but her attraction is frequently colored by fear and resentment.
For the Cancer Woman, sexual surrender that leads to mutual ecstasy must origi-
nate in her love of herself, of her own body and feminine nature. She must trust her own femaleness and invite the
male's full-fledged maleness. This kind of sexual sur-

render is not an invitation to brutalization. It is a woman's greatest gift to a man, in which she opens and offers all
of herself and is able, in turn, to help him open up.

Early Sex Experiences

The Cancer Woman generally seems extremely virginal and modest—so much so that one often has the
impression that she goes to her bridal suite without an ounce of sexual knowledge or experience. But appearances
often deceive, and though there are some who wait to be "deflowered" on their wedding nights, most Cancer girls
are early risers and early sexual bloomers.
The mother or principal mother figure looms large in Cancer's upbringing. Sex may be shrouded in such secrecy
that she receives no sex education at all. She may be so ignorant that upon getting her first menstrual period she
thinks she sat on a tomato or in some red paint. She is seldom prepared by her mother for the reality of sexual
relations, especially since Cancer daughters appear to be old-fashionedly modest, shy, and guarded.
Her sex education often consists of overheard snatches of conversation, pats on the head by an older sister, and
stolen words over the fence or on the radio. She is sentimental and impressionable, and by watching films and
television, she may form decidedly strange notions about what really happens once the lights are out. Her powerful
imagination hypes taboos, and she may decide to try sex in secret and see for herself if the taboos are warranted.
The Cancer girl is apt to be practical, and she dislikes being ignored or fooled. She also has an insatiable need to
be touched and admired. Often, sex in high school is the best way to meet these needs. She is not likely to assert
herself at dances or to call a boy and ask him out for a date. If she is not pursued, she is content to take a back seat
to more aggressive girls and wait patiently. Thus she learns how to send subtle messages of come-hither, and sooner
or later she is ardently wooed by a variety of young men. She seems to have a chemical attraction to older men
from the be-
ginning, though later she may decide that it would not be practical to marry one.
The Cancer girl has strongly conservative and self-protective instincts. Therefore, she is unlikely to spill the
beans about her sexual experiments. She is typically very secretive about her real activities, and neither her
hairdresser nor her best friend knows for sure.
More than a dozen Cancer teenagers have told me of losing their virginity as a result of careful contemplation of
the pros and cons. Each chose her first lover cau-
tiously and picked a place where she would be safe and unhurried. The Cancer girl is not likely to jump in the back
of the car for a quickie. She protects her reputation, and she is normally uninterested in Erica Jong's zipless fuck.
The overprotected Can-
cer girl may be forced to remain a virgin until marriage, but this same girl will often contract an early union in
response.
Cancer sometimes has a crush on her father or another older male, perhaps to

102 SEX SIGNS

counterbalance her mother's overwhelming impact. She seeks her teachers' approval and is likely to be a good
student thanks to her elephant's memory. She may be a copycat if she encounters a sufficiently admirable model of
sexy femininity.
The Cancer girl has early tendencies to be turned on by other women, though she does not necessarily admit this.
Bisexuality may appeal to her. Sex accompanied by a great deal of tenderness and feeling is important to her, and in
the course of her life

she may encounter many men but fewer women who are unable to give it to her.

Love and Sex

In Cancer's opinion, love and sex are tailor-made for each other, much as in the famous song: "Love and
marriage, love and marriage/Go together like a horse and carriage." To Lady Cancer, nothing is more beautiful than
a pair of shining, adoring male eyes spotlighting her to the accompaniment of the heavenly grunts and groans of an
approaching orgasm.
The Cancer Woman typically prefers her love with security, admiration, lots of physical contact, and gentleness
that ebbs and flows into an ocean of desire. Her imagination is so fertile that she usually constructs elaborate
scenarios to stimulate her. She also needs permission to fantasize and was probably vastly relieved when the sexual
climate relaxed enough to permit the publication of books like Alex Comfort's runaway best-seller The Joy of Sex.
She is sometimes more active in her fantasies than in her man's bed. She seems to have a built-in initial
reluctance to engage in sex, an inexplicable holding back at the moment of starting and again when she is on the
verge of orgasm She does not take the initiative easily or speedily, probably due to her inherent insecurity. Starting
sex means continuing, then going all the way, and orgasm means losing control, all of which may create restraints
for Lady Cancer.
Being in love, even if it's an illusion, opens her sexually. It is as if love removes most of her inhibitions, so that
sex with love becomes her best way to "come out."
She is not particularly experimental, but she is easily influenced. A highly sophis-
ticated lover can teach her all kinds of exotic love games and find her a pliant, receptive student. Later in life, when
she is more experienced, she easily assumes the role of the sex teacher and usually takes a much more aggressive
stance.
 Her fantasies are apt to revolve around romantic interludes—making love in water, walking on the beach under a
full moon; satin sheets, big bed, candlelight, soft music, an ambience of sensual splendor; a Prince Charming who
repeatedly helps her to vault over her guarded walls and introduces her to the most exquisite, forbidden joys of
sexual union. The rape fantasy is a common one for Cancer; she likes to think about being subjugated. Her most
secret fantasy is to eventually dominate the man who believes her totally submissive.
Her sexual response pattern in intercourse seems to be the following:

1. Initial reluctance, as if she had to climb over a wall and case the other side.
2. Slow arousal. She usually needs a great deal of tactile stimulation; she is also
apt to find a foot or thigh massage, or prolonged caressing of the head,
shoulder, and breast, highly erotic. She tends to dislike quick penetration,
preferring slow foreplay as preface.
3. Straightforward approach. The Cancer Woman usually does not need elabo-
rate sexual techniques. She tends to stick with her favorite positions while her

CANCER 103

mental imagery supplies the variety that reality may lack. Lovers should not be surprised to find out that
their modest Cancer partner runs hot sex scenes in her head, often starring a man other than the one she is
in bed with (he has probably done the same just as often).
Her favorite positions are missionary, on her side with penetration from the back, and woman superior.
She likes a lot of lubrication, and may use lubri-

cated condoms plus extra lubrication. She does not mind sweat either, and is in fact often stimulated by it.
4. Intense orgasms. She is capable of intense orgasms, especially after heavy fore-
play and fantasies. She usually builds, and needs to build, tremendous body
tension; she often has a rash on her chest, sweat on her back, thighs, or
stomach, and a highly flushed face. No woman can have an orgasm without
building body tension, especially below the waist, and Cancer seems to know
this instinctively.

The Cancer Woman who has never fully surrendered and clings to fears caused by sex-negative conditioning
may need to do specific work with her body and body im-
age. If she has never had an orgasm, I recommend Lonnie Barbach's For Yourself If she has orgasms but for any
reason feels dissatisfied, I recommend a series of aware-
ness-, skill-, and confidence-building exercises, preferably with a counselor or thera-
pist. The Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, 1523 Franklin Street, San Francisco, California,
94109, is an excellent national referral center.

What Kind of Lover She Needs

A man who is willing to go slow, to pamper her with words of endearment and devotion, is bound to get to first
base with the Cancer Woman. She needs and wants an exclusive relationship, and the man who is right for her will
want it too.
She needs a man who is able to provide a great deal of overall security, emotional as well as material. The man
who can't fulfill this need—who never knows what time he will be home, does not wish to leave his telephone
number when he travels, is never jealous or possessive, and could care less what she does when he's away for the
weekend—is wrong for her. She may pay lip service to the idea of disliking possessive men, but she prefers a man
who constantly looks after her to make sure she is happy, taken care of, and wooed by him alone.
She usually likes a man who is a steady, reliable lover but is also capable of flights of imagination and willing to
share them. If he is smart, he will make sure she is always the star in these fantasies, for playing second fiddle to
other women is not Cancer's cup of tea. Though she may play around from time to time, she won't want to know if
her man does, even in fantasy.
Her man should be a gentle lover who, at the same time, is uninhibited enough to help her throw off her own
restraints. The man who is catalyst for her sexual liberation is apt to hold her for a lifetime. An intuitive man, one
who can feel her moods and flow with them without demanding verbal explanations, is good for her.
She tends to like oral and perhaps anal sex. Her lover should be open to these alternatives, as well as the safety
supports they may require. She needs a man who has a high sex drive but has ledrned good control. She is a slow
builder, and a premature ejaculator would be totally frustrating to her. On the other hand, she may be extremely
patient and good for a man who experiences periodic impotence, as

104 SEX SH G N S

long as he is open to alternative methods of mutual pleasuring. She can be a selfish lover bent on her own
satisfaction, but her selfishness can also take pressure off the man who is secure in his own sexuality. If she is
willing and able to take care of herself, he will be free of the typical male worry about giving orgasms.
The Cancer Woman usually likes some hard thrusting after the initial rounds of fondling and pleasuring. She
likes a lot of stimulation on her breasts and buttocks.

She is content with a man who has mastered this combination and probably won't miss fancy techniques, taiwan
baskets, or vaginal vibrators. A further hint: sex in the shower may be one of her very favorites. Sex and water
combined, whether on the beach or in the bath, sauna, or pool, is one of Cancer's greatest sexual/sensual pleas-
ures.
The Cancer Woman prefers a man who plans ahead. If he is smart, he will arrange for music, chilled champagne,
silk robes, and a beautiful bath equipped with a variety of scented soaps and oils. If they are married, he must be
sure that her level of sensuality doesn't fall off, or he may find his Cancer wife retreating. Here, experi-
mentation, private weekends in sensuous resorts, and other special efforts will become important.
She needs a man who brings out both the little girl and the passionate tigress in her. Her man should never
typecast her or force her into a mold. One of the great sexual pitfalls in the life of the Cancer Woman is precisely
her potential to adhere to predigested roles. She tends to lose her sexual vitality as she grows into the roles of wife
and mother. Thus, she needs a man who will help her keep the spark alive, even allow her to expand sexually as she
approaches her (and every woman's) sexual prime in her forties. Masturbation may be an aid; several Cancer
Women have told me they like it to supplement, not substitute for, intercourse. Mutual masturbation is a good form
of intercourse for Cancer.
The Cancer Woman may be a subtle dominator. Though she may claim to dislike S&M, she often plays the
mistress role in her fantasies. Her man should be imagi-
native, self-confident, and aware of her fantasies, specifically in this area. Once Cancer finds an accepting partner,
she may graduate to a whole new level of sexuality; meet-
ing her own sexual aggression head-on, probably for the first time, she will elevate her relationship to new sexual
heights.
The feel of satin, rubber, leather, suede, fine Swiss cotton, velvet, or any combi-
nation of the new "touchy-feely" fabrics will probably drive her wild. She may dream of a $95,000 chinchilla
bedspread she saw featured in Vogue, but making love on a sensuous substitute will do. Skin stimulants are
essential to turn her on; caressing her body with one's hair will arouse her, as will feathers, brushes, and silk
pajamas. A partner who combs and brushes her hair, gives her a long massage, then takes her out to eat, is creating
the right ambience for surrender.
Strongly perfumed creams and lubricants, flowery fragrances, massage oils with a fruit or flower odor, and musk
are Cancer favorites. She tends to prefer strong scents or heavily laced perfumes, though she likes light alcoholic
drinks that are pretty and ladylike. The color of the decor should also be right, for she is sensitive to all the
vibrations that surround her.
Finally, the man Cancer needs will have to face the possibility that she will keep things from him. The Cancer
Woman is complex and therefore not easy to satisfy. He must insist on keeping the communication between them
 open, for she probably will not. He must be intuitive himself and may have to learn the clues of retreat that she
telegraphs from time to time. He must learn to differentiate between withdrawal in order to have privacy and
withdrawal precipitated by anger or misery. It is likely that, given an initially successful period, their sexual
relationship will be a strong

CAN CE R 105

bond and will carry them over many bumps. The Cancer Woman who accepts sex and likes it will keep it as a
permanent, rich, always available oasis for herself and her partner.

What She Needy to Learn

The Cancer Woman needs to be totally honest with herself, first and last. Others don't fool her in the long run,
but she can fool herself. She is deeply sensuous but apt to be inhibited initially. She prefers to have sex with a man
she loves, but there will be times in her life when, for no reason she knows, she feels the urge to seek new horizons,
to try sex pure and simple, sex for the sake of sex. She should be prepared for this.
She needs to learn to surrender completely. Though she is utterly feminine and receptive, she has a hidden need
to grasp and control, and it often prevents her from genuinely opening up. Once she recognizes this, she is on the
road to true sexual give-and-take.
The Cancer Woman needs to learn to assert herself openly and directly, both in sex and in the relationship as a
whole. She tends to be a passive manipulator and may not know what she really wants. She must overcome her
natural tendency toward secretiveness and instead learn the value of exchange. She must tell her partners what she
likes done, how, when; and she must listen to his sexual needs as well.
She needs to be aware of her insecurities, fears, doubts, and resultant need for guarantees that do not exist. She
needs to have faith that tomorrow is another day. Often she is convinced that tomorrow will bring rain, never sun,
and she spends excessive energy trying to protect herself.
The Cancer Woman needs to grow more comfortable with change. Sexual energy is life energy. The expression
of sexuality is highly individualized and changeable. Neither love nor sex can be made to stand still, and neither
force should be used to manipulate, own, or hold a person back. Life is a dynamic proposition, and so is sex a
flowing process. The Cancer Woman must make herself accessible to learning, grow-
ing, sharing, moving, flowing. Water is her element, and water is never static.
The fact that she is frequently mistreated by men signals a need to be more realistic. She is practical but also easy
to sway, impress, and dominate at the start of a relation-
ship. By the time she recovers her wits, she often finds herself bonded to the wrong man. Thus, Cancer's biggest
lesson in sex and relationships is to learn to let go. Timing and action are two valuable tools, and she must use them
to her best advan-
tage.
The Cancer Woman needs to know exactly what she wants, for she can have it. The problems in her sex life—
and her life as a whole—arise from erroneous decisions. Thus, self-knowledge and sexual awareness are crucial
ingredients in Cancer's good life.

CANCER ANGER
The Cancer Woman is often called crabby, and for good reason. She tends to have a simmering temper that
typically explodes in theatrical displays. She also cries a lot,
 106 SEX SIGNS

and it is difficult to tell how often she dissolves into tears from joy, and how often from anger. She tends to hold a
grudge and to avoid discussion and confrontation.
I interviewed several Cancer women, and here are some typical responses:

1. "I love a great cry!"

2. "When I get angry, I must do something. I have to punch or throw or stomp

out of the room. In essence, I throw a temper tantrum, which makes me feel better. However, it can create
problems with my spouse."
3. "I don't get angry too often, but when I do, it's almost always my husband's
fault. If he didn't treat me this way, I'd have no cause for anger."
4. "When things go wrong and I get angry, I actually get physically sick. I take
to bed with a migraine headache or stomach cramps."
5. "When I get angry, I make up fantastic stories of revenge. I mete out cruel
punishment; I am totally powerful and amoral. I replay my anger and my
raging scenes over and over, and it allows me to say and do things I would
never duplicate in real life."

The first woman may or may not know when she's angry, but she has found an automatic release. She just "turns
on the faucet," in her words. She added that crying has been effective in relieving her tensions and that it produces
results. Crying, for this Cancer woman, is a good way to cope with anger, as it diminishes neither her self-
confidence nor her stature with others. Of course, if she resorted to this tactic in a work situation, it could be
extremely destructive; crying from anger can paint a picture of helplessness and irrationality.
The second woman dramatizes her anger. She gains a feeling of accomplishment from actively expressing it.
Physical release of anger is often what the Cancer Woman needs. She may bang on the table, break pencils, tear up
papers, throw a wastebasket across the kitchen, box a pillow. One Cancer lady told me she tore her mattress in half
after a series of arguments with her husband. It took considerable energy and ingenuity—and also led to separate
bedrooms, which she had wanted for years.
The third lady sounds like a blamer. She assigns the responsibility for her anger to others, in this case her
husband. I asked her if she had also made other people responsible for her love. She shook her head, visibly
confused. When I explained the meaning of emotional responsibility—that our feelings are facts determined by our-
selves—she replied that expressing her anger as blame kept her distanced from her husband. She told me honestly
that that was exactly what she wanted. Thus, it appears that she was using her anger manipulatively.
The fourth woman is someone whose body is finely attuned to her emotions. Her brain signals her anger, and her
body never rejects the signal and its consequences. In a typically Cancerian maneuver, she uses her anger to
provide her with an excuse to retreat. Whenever she gets angry, she isolates herself. She pulls down her bedroom
shades, turns off her phone, refuses to talk to her family, and lives in her shell. I asked her if the price of pain was
worth it, and she said that she was used to it, that it didn't bother her. The Cancer Woman often prefers to stick with
an old habit rather than try a new avenue, even if the latter could be considerably more useful and healthier.
The fifth woman seems to have found a good outlet for her anger in daydreaming. Most of us fantasize, and
fantasy is a clever way to deal with anger as long as it does not end in total escape. I asked this woman how her
angry daydreams affect her sexually. She told me that her omnipotent fantasies, which allow her to get rid of

CANCER 107

tremendous amounts of anger, add fuel to her sex life. She is not married but has a boyfriend who knows about her
internal infernal adventures. She said she often calls him, asks him to come over and listen to her latest fantasy
series. The boyfriend sounds like a patient listener, and she reassured me that sex was fine.
Typically, the Cancer Woman was trained to store up anger and express it dramat-
ically. She may do so irrationally or as a planned maneuver. Sometimes she just bursts
out with anger; sometimes she uses anger to achieve her goals (like the lady who finally got
separate bedrooms).
The Cancer Woman has a strong tendency to filter anger through her body. She often suffers from it physically,
for the equilibrium of her nervous system is extremely delicate. Her body is very susceptible to negative emotions;
repressed anger can cause ailments ranging from repeated headaches to ulcers.
A very unfortunate result of the Cancer Woman's tenacious nature is that she clings to anger. The longer the
negative state lasts, the more likely it is to make her sick; specifically, her stomach will take most of the stress.
Cancer must learn to express her anger constructively and also to let it go.

An important principle for Cancer to remember is this: Anger is a reaction. When we feel angry, it is because
something in our background or personal value system has been chal-
lenged. That something tells us we ought to react by being angry. But anger, like love, is a
choice, a choice we make on the basis of our subconscious values and attitudes. Thus, we can choose to change it
by changing the values that lead us to feel it.
One of the things that makes the Cancer Woman angriest is to be ignored. She may be moody or retiring, but she
needs large doses of recognition. She gets angry when it is not forthcoming. The Cancer Woman must learn to ask
for what she needs. It is the surest way for her to get what she needs, and an excellent way to avoid situations that
predictably make her angry.
Another thing that makes her angry is when someone she has loved, protected, and perhaps smothered decides to
become independent. This often strikes terror into the Cancer heart. The Cancer Woman likes to be not only needed
but indispen-
sable—that is to say, to be in control. She must learn to overcome the insecurity that creates this grasping, to let go.
(For hints on dealing with insecurity, see "Cancer Relationships." For letting go, see the Color Meditation technique
in "Capricorn Relationships.")
The Cancer Woman is often angered by injustice to young ones. Basically compas-
sionate, she hates cruelty in any form. She can express her anger constructively on a personal level by helping to
change those who take their anger out on children. On a societal level, she can work for legislation that protects
children (for example, child-
abuse laws) or help to establish halfway or crisis homes for needy children. She can also be an excellent educator
and may feel useful in a teaching or guidance position.
She is angered by being pushed, exploited, or taken for granted, but she seldom comes right out and says it. She
needs to be more straightforward and honest about her anger. Much of her anger would be dissipated if she were to
break her pattern by open communication. Often, people simply don't know what makes her angry and when.
Cancer, the following practical tips may help you to cope constructively with anger.

108 SEX SIGNS

1. Identify your anger. There are many signs you can watch for: body language
linked to your inner feeling state; feelings of stress; your verbal expressions,
tantrums, and other clear clues (you may have a favorite phrase that will alert
you); a common-sense evaluation of your life right now; mirroring—others'
reactions will tell you a lot about how you are feeling. They read the subtle
clues you telegraph.

2. Identify the type of anger. Anger has different roots and may be: relating to
a specific situation such as a job; related to your family; caused by past hurts
 that have nothing to do with the present; free-floating; irrational, impossible
to pin down—consult a counselor if this is the case.
3. Decide what you can do to cope. Remember that you are not helpless and
can: learn a mode of communication that avoids putting you and others on
the defensive; work it out through physical channels; discuss it with a therapist;
work with alternative or metaphysical methods to realign energy.
4. Take positive steps to defuse anger. Remember to: remain aware of the values
by which you judge situations, and be ready to change those that cause un-
necessary anger; have a sense of humor; practice detachment; practice a pos-
itive outlook; ask for what you need; cry, relax, get things out of your system
without self-destructiveness; resolve to remove as many irritants or angry-
making items from your life as possible; decide how.

Remember this: there is always a possibility that you want to hang on to your anger. If this is true, know it.
Accept it for now, but give yourself latitude to change it later. (For specific communication skills, see "Scorpio
Anger" and "Libra Anger." For more help on value systems, see the chapter on Virgo Woman.)

CANCER LIFESTYLES
Monogamy and Nonmonogamy

The Cancer Woman is apt to be highly family-oriented, to want and need family love in her life. At the same
time, she is able to use sex simply as a source of pleasure, and she leads an alternative or secret life more often than
appearances might suggest. She has some hedonistic tendencies, and they conflict with, but are not always checked
by, her self-image as a good mother and wife. Still, the Cancer Woman is apt to be inherently loyal above all to her
brood. She may not be sexually faithful to her husband, but if there is such a thing as monogamy with a family
(nothing is more important to her), then we can say she is almost always monogamous.
She is apt to wish to remain monogamous all her life, for monogamy appeals to her value system. She was
probably raised traditionally and has come to regard mo-
nogamous marriage as the way of life. But the maturing Cancer Woman often discovers sexual urges she never
dreamed of, a lush sensuality and a need for excitement. As life goes on, she may continue to want stability, but she
may also want excitement. She may feel guilty about extramarital sexual fantasies, but she frequently fashions a
secret life for herself—in her head or in reality.
The following represent typical situations which could influence the Cancer Woman to become
nonmonogamous:

CANCER 109

1. Sensual, sexual, or emotional desiccation. She needs her waters of sensitivity,

caring, and sexuality refreshed regularly.
2. Thirst for excitement and variety, either due to lack of experience and an
early marriage or to the nonspecific feeling of being left out of the main-
stream.
3. Moodiness or capriciousness.

4. Revenge (the "I'll get back at Harry" game).

5. Disappointment in her mate, either as a lover or as a father/provider. She
may seek a new father for her children by this route.
6. Falling in love with a different man.
 7. Falling under the spell of a fantasy or of a group that holds extramarital sex
as the norm. She is impressionable.
8. Separation or pre-divorce blues.

Alternative Lifestyles
SINGLE WOMAN/INTIMATE NETWORKS: The Cancer Woman very rarely adopts this as a permanent lifestyle.
She likes to be surrounded by her loved ones and wants total commitment.

OPEN MARRIAGE: The Cancer Woman finds this nothing short of ridiculous. She probably won't judge those who
like it, but she wouldn't want to try it for herself.

MENAGE A TROIS: For Cancer this is a possibly fascinating experiment that can provide her with sexual
stimulation and sensual enrichment; it can also be a vehicle for trying bisexuality or acting out a favorite fantasy—
that of being with two men.

COMMUNAL LIVING: She may enjoy communal living very much. I've met many who have. The Cancer Woman
is apt to do a great deal of work in the communal kitchen, to mother the members, and to be the fourth leg of the
table in almost any communal endeavor. She is practical and wise, and if she feels appreciated, she may stick with
this lifestyle, which is for the most part a sixties phenomenon. Communes can still be found in certain coastal
communities and in a few scattered spots in the rest of the nation; a Cancer Woman frequently lives at the heart of
the healthiest.

GAY/BISEXUAL LIFESTYLE: The Cancer Woman is not irrevocably heterosexual. I have met many gay Cancers,
and even more who claim to be bisexual. Of course, the majority are strictly heterosexual but are at least
conceptually tolerant of this lifestyle. Cancer's gay tendency may be partly an extension of her intimate familiarity
with feminine matters, her attraction to females, and her finely developed sensitivity.

SUMMING UP CANCER
The Cancer Woman seeks the good life in all ways. She has a special gift for finding the best-quality basics that
make the good life possible. Her interest in the material

110 SEX SIGNS

aspects of living can be dangerously strong, however. She is a fine caretaker, a sen-
sitive, compassionate artist of living. She can set a perfect table, create a harmonious ambience, and provide
comforts to her loved ones. Yet she must be careful to balance these outstanding and necessary qualities with
spiritual/emotional love that operates without strings.
The Cancer Woman is an excellent teacher, but she must be sure to teach her

children, pupils, or intimates values that will create a healthy society in the long run. A society that considers cars
and television sets more important than children is an essentially sick society. In my opinion, one of the great tasks
of the Cancer Woman is to understand her own materialism and set its limits, and then to pass on to others the
urgent need to evaluate theirs and to put it in correct balance.
The following lines from Muriel Rukeyser's "Wreath of Women" point to yet an-
other important aspect of the Cancer personality:
 Women in drudgery know
They must be one of four:
Whores, artists, saints, and wives.

The Cancer Woman may not mind the routines of housework and childcare; she may indeed thrive on them. She
has a tremendous amount to give. She is complex, absorbs information quickly, assimilates it well, and plays any of
the above roles dra-
matically. She is like a tough plant that yet needs regular spring showers to keep it green, to guard the leaves from
browning and falling to the ground.
Love may be a problem for her until she learns to love herself. Love may be difficult until she learns to give and
get without keeping score. But love is the answer to all her dilemmas, and as she grows and matures, she will more
and more find the kind of appreciation, recognition, admiration—and, yes, love—that will give true quality to her
life.