ENLIVENDownloadable Proof

E NLI VE N
Felicia Olaonipekun
Copyright © 2020 Felicia Omolara Olaonipekun
All rights reserved

To God,
The one who make every breathe a testmony.
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.
ISBN-13: 9798570255432
Cover design by: Art Painter

CONTENTS
Title Page 1
Copyright 2
Dedication 3
Introduction 7
THE PURPOSE 11
JUST TRY 14
TRUST THE TIMING OF YOUR LIFE AND STAY PATIENT 18
NITPICKING 21
HOW TO STOP NITPICKING 29
EACH LIFE IS A JOURNEY 1 41
EACH LIFE IS A JOURNEY 2 50
38 LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED IN MY 23 YEARS 56
38 LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED IN MY 23 YEARS PART 2 63
ANGER 70
44 THINGS LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME 76
7 REASONS WHY FAILURE IS A GOOD THING 80
LIFE LESSONS SO FAR 83
HOW TO INSPRE SOMEONE 87
MY HAPPINESS VIEW 90
HOW TO BE HAPPY 95
Afterword 103
About The Author 105
INTRODUCTION
I love to read and listen to testimonies because they are faith

boosters. They reassure me that God is constantly in the business
of bestowing diverse kinds of blessings on His children.
In this book, I have shared some experiences, lesson and God's
goodness to me that He laid upon my heart to share with you.
You may not nd the award-wining kind of stories, lesson and
thought here, but i believe that by God's grace, you will be able to
see God's greatness through the seemingly insignicant miracles.
I desire and pray that after you read this book, you will begin to
attach greater importance to, you will begin to see the clear truth
of things around you, and be grateful for everything and changes
that God would bring your way.
Felicia.
7
FELICIA OLAONIPEKUN ENLIVEN
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Ife Abolarin,Ifeoluwa Anjola,Onu victory,Segun Oniade,Rotimi Bolakale,Adeniyi

Tosin,Bukola Adeyemi ,Timothy Adegoke,Anuoluwapo-Adeniji,Oluwaseyi-
First and foremost I would like to thank God. In the process of putting this book Olayemi,Sammy-Ekerete,Gabriel-Okechukwu,Smart,kingsley,ChikaBUMAS,Jes-
together, I realized how true this gift of writing is for me. You gave me the power sicaDickson,Chinaza Umahia,Faith Aderanti,lilian-AjikeDelight Ako,Happiness
to believe in my passion and pursue my dreams. I could never have done this Salifa ,Yusuf Sama,Beloved Gigi , Marvelous Gigi,John NAAS,Toba Gbadamosi,
without the faith I have in you, the Almighty. Emmanuel ,Princess ,Boluwatife Andrew and many others who believe in me,
thank you and God bless you. Love you all.
To my Parent, Michael Ojukutu & Maria: For the rst time in 23 years, I am
speechless! I can barely nd the words to express all the wisdom, love, and sup- To my Aunties, Uncles, leaders ,Elders and Pastor -Aunty Bilikis Balogun,Aunty
port you've given me. You are my #1fan and for that, I am eternally grateful. If Toyosi Ogunbiyi ,Mrs lawrence, Mrs kadiya Damilola, Miss Afolabi Esther, Pastor
I am blessed to live long enough, I hope I will be as good a mother to my future Alu kehinde, Pastor Akinola Caleb,Pastor Ajike, Pastor Dickson,MG Jephthah-Nw-
children as you are and always have been to me. I Love You, Dear Parent. aoha,MG kehinde Akinpele ,MG David.N, MG Munachi ,Mr Olatain, MG Patrick
Esdras,MG Sunkanmi,MG Bamidele,Elder Matthew Awolowo,Elder ikonta, Elder
Many thank you to all the people who nurturd me from chilhood to guide me in
Nweke Daniel thank you for your guidelines, love, encouragement, and prayer.
the way of the Lord.
The Members of Classic world concepts, NEGSS 2012/2013 SET ,Babcock Uni-
To my sisters Ibukunoluwa and Deborah whose energy and love inspired some of versity Part Time and Nigeria Association of Adventist students thank you for
the articles in this book thank you so much. I love you so much. the tremendous encouragement and support.
To my brothers Enoch Olaore ,ope olaore, Ayoadeji Ajadi, tunde oyedun-
mola ,Medus Audu whose vibe, love, support and positive energy inspire me To my friends in church and on social media, who support me with advice, cor-
more. I love you. rection, prayers, encouragement and criticism, I say thank you all.
A big thank you to my mentor and spiritual father and mother Pastor Isreal To my contacts on WhatSapp Messenger , whom I disturb on a regular basis with
Olaore and Dr. Mrs. Yetunde Olaore, whose prayers, counsel, teachings, correc- my posts on my blog, wwwfelinspiremyworld.blogspot.com ,and other sites,
tion and instructions have greatly impacted my life and writing. Some of the ar- thank you for reading them.
ticles in this volume were written in there house. Love you
To everyone who commented on my post, liked and share link, thank you for the
To Pastor Sunday Audu and Dr.Mrs. Florence Audu thanks for your support, support and encouragement. If there is anyone that I forgot, please do not hold it
prayer,care ,correction ,teaching and encouragement .love you against me. I just gured that readers would prefer to have a book of articles ra-
To Pastor Ogechi Ogbonna and Dr.Mrs Faith Ogbonna I say thank you for your ther than a book of my personal acknowledgments and thanks. Much Love from
support, love, correction and encouragement . love you me to you.
To all my lecturers,who have instilled a bit of knowledge in me ,and have encour-

aged me, thank you.
To Adebayo Omoniyi, I am so grateful to have your support of my writing. Thank

you for being an excellent source of inspiration!
To Makinwa Ojo , a truly faithful friend, whose simplicity reminds me of Christ.

You always tell me not to give up on my dreams and that everything that's good
takes time. I guess now is the time for all the good! Much Love to you
To all my friends Apata ife, kehinde Adeleye,Deborah Miracle,Esther Nwao-

bilor,Awe Thioluwa Debbie,O lanrewaju Tobi,vikky Vine,Christian Bobby, Rachel
Dada, julius Oluwasegunfunmi ,Ama trust, marvelous, Bobby,Raphel, Adetayo
Adeleke, Dozie, Emmanuel ,Comfort Bewa, Jennifer, Melody Isaac,Blessing Ola-
dipuop,School daughter Stella,Hannah Tanimowo,faith Adie,Blessing Timothy,
8 9
THE PURPOSE
S
ometimes when I fall I cry
sometimes when failure hits me I feel like hitting myself
hard.
I never knew I was wrong feeling that way
I never knew I could stand up without crying when I fall or even
when people mock me.
I never knew I could hit back what failure did to me by standing
rm and learning from the previous mistake that led to my fail-
ure.
Sometimes we get confused
11
sometimes we wish to get the purpose of anything right and know our purpose as to why we are here and what kind of im-
sometimes we forget we need to fall and fail to get the purpose pact we can have for this world. We often go through struggles in
fullled. life trying to seek what appears to be what we want, but in real-
But the most important key is not forgetting to stand up back ity, is often not the case or in our favor. Whatever life calls upon
when life knocks us down with dierent problems. you, seek it for all your eorts because one of the most rewarding
things about life is nding why we are here in the rst place.
We are all here searching for what our life is opposed to. We live in this beautiful world for a core purpose that can shine a
We have this beautiful purpose, gleam of light that forms our potential lives. With that being said,
A purpose unlike no other, our faith can be created when we question ourselves in why we’re
Through our abilities, here in this world by evaluating where we are.
We keep searching for the path,
The path we want and desire, Keep the faith and acknowledge to yourself that you have a des-
It is not without trials, tiny that is worth lling no matter what people say.
We nd why we are here, Learning to understand people will question your actions, but it’s
Through the light, completely normal. What’s more important in your life is nding
And through the darkness, yourself and knowing what’s possible for your amazing life.
We will nd out, why we are here,
Seek the purpose. Find what is possible. Capture it for all you
It will be dicult, but it will be rewarding,
can.
Because we know why we are here And there is nothing that can
You were born for a purpose,
stop us.
You are here on purpose, when life knocks you down
Remember your purpose…
Finding the absolute purpose of my life.

Just as important as nding what we are meant to do, we must
12 13
ENLIVEN
body was willing to make any move, so I calmly raised my right

hand and said, "Let me give it a try sir".
“I don't needpeople who want to try but people who are used to
JUST TRY the game” the head teacher yelled at me.I felt embarrassed.
A NEVER GIVE UP MOTIVATION
“To learn something new, you need to try new things and not be
afraid to be wrong” - Roy T. Bennett
“DO NOT FEAR FAILURE BUT RATHER FEAR NOT TRYING.”- ROY T. so what’s my point? Don’t ever believe that statement, it is not
BENNETT true. You can’t get used to any game if you've never tried it before.
Youknow the manwho invented the light bulb, don’t you?His
name is Thomas Edison and I'm sure you don't need me to remind
you how many times he tried. He didn’t only try but he also failed
many times, yet he never stopped trying.
I
t was a bright lovely Friday, December 17th, 2009,the season
Chris Bradford says –“Each mistake teaches something new about
children and adults liked the most. This is the period when
yourself ”.
vacation from all activities comes to an end, especially for
students, teachers, and oce workers. That very beautiful day “There is no failure, remember, except in no longer trying.” - El-
during assembly, the head teacher did some experiments with bert Hubbard. It is the courage to continue that counts.
water and sand. After his explanations, he asked who could do
what he did. When we fail, life turns upside down. Everything we once
thought we wanted seemed to disappear into thin air.However,
You know that spirit of “Wow I can do it”, but no!, I noticed no- what most people don’t realize is that failure acts as a stepping-
14 15
stone towards success. It’s through our greatest failures that we

learn more about life, love, goals, happiness, and all the things
that make us into who we are today.
Fact
Don’t expect that you would wake up one day and realize that
you're used to something that you've never tried doing, it does
not work that way.You have to startby trying because there’s no
shame in trying out something new.You can't also tell what your
The rst time I wrote a story, it didn't come out so good, it was
talent is until you try something out.
really a mess.My English teacher back then inschoolalways re-
turned the write-ups I submittedto be published in the school The road to success isn't straight, so you have to work hard. You
magazines. Sometimes I cried and felt discouraged, but then I have to try it.Failing isn't a failure. Don’t be afraid to fail.Failing
never gave up and I continued writing. Every night I couldn’t gives you the chance to start afresh more intelligently. The story
sleep, I always made sure that I wrote some stories before going to of Thomas Edison has taught me a lot, I hopeit teaches you some-
bed.I kept writingbecause I know it really matters.I kept trying thing too.
all over and over even when I failed and my words were disorgan-
ized. You only have to believe in yourself. You only have to try. It’s time
you got value. It’s never too late, just try.
But now, you know what, I'm getting used to the game.
Great things happen to those who don't stop believing, trying,
learning, and being grateful.
There are ve important things for living a successful and fulll-
ing life: never stop dreaming, never stop believing, never give up,
never stop trying, and never stop learning.
16 17
ENLIVEN
encounter – good and bad, and most of all, learn from yourself.
Trusting the timing in life is about a belief; planning and not

TRUST THE TIMING OF YOUR being afraid of becoming creative when required, and knowing
LIFE AND STAY PATIENT that there is a time and a place for everything and you are work-
ing towards it. For several years, I compared my achievements to
those of others. Sometimes when I saw my friends do something
dierent; graduate from college, use a good phone, work in a bet-
ter place - even the ones I never knew living a fake life - I would
feel horrible about myself.
E
veryone's ride is dierent and everyone has their own time
clock. It is so important to concentrate on your journey in-
stead of focusing on what others are doing.
Be thankful for everything in your life. Recognize the good – no So many times, I stress myself out because other people I know
matter how small. You woke up this morning and have another are in relationships, some are getting married, enjoying life,
chance at life, you have great friends and family, and you have a doing all they want already and all this makes me feel like God's
roof over your head – whatever it is, be grateful. not standing beside me or hearing my prayer. As I have been grow-
Learn from the encounter, anguish, angst, falls, heartache, heart- ing and my mindset is changing, I have realized that I need to trust
break, loss, and endings. Because when something ends, a new my timing.
thing begins. Learn from the people who have come into your life I spent a lot of last year focusing too much energy on making
and left, learn from the people who are still here, learn from your plans, worrying about my future, and stressing over expectations
18 19
FELICIA OLAONIPEKUN
of how things should turn out. It’s not easy to surrender that con-
trol but as soon as I learned to just trust that everything would
fall into place when it was meant to, relief ooded over me. When
you learn to just live day by day, moment by moment, any anx- NITPICKING
iety over the unknown and worries about the future simply dis-
appear.
Trust that where you are at in your life at the moment is the right
thing and the thing you need most.
Don’t compare your life to others, everyone is on an individual
ride and is on a completely dierent path, and scrolling through
your feed on social media isn’t going to make you feel better if
you think everyone is ahead of you. Life isn’t a race, so slow down.
This is what I tell myself every day, most times when the beauti-
ful things have planned are not falling in the right place.
Dear self you won't always set what you want when
you want and that's ne, but you will get where you
need to be becauseyourtime is coming.
Sometimes life can become complicated and unpredictable but
it's important to believe.The way you look at things can change
the outcome so much without you even realizing it.
O
MY FINAL WORDS ur judgment of others can spoil the quality of our lives.
Trust in the timing of your life and let go of control. Have faith We enjoy less when we judge. Mother Teresa said we do
that everything will work out exactly as it is supposed to. not have time to love if we judge others.
You may not have what you want or be where you want to be There is a famous quote that says: "Great Minds Discuss Ideas;
right now but that is okay. That’s because you're not ready for it Average Minds Discuss Events; Small Minds Discuss People"
yet. Things will happen and fall into place exactly how they are Life is literally 1000 times better when you aren’t judging others.
supposed to, exactly when they are meant to, so have faith. You begin to use that energy to create great things in your own
life, thus becoming an overall better person.᫺
People judge what they do not understand and it becomes very
Timing is key to everything and it's important to be patient and let
easy to pass judgment on someone who is living their life in a
things happen when they are meant to happen. Don't try to force
dierent way than you choose to live yours. Everyone has been
things based on when things are happening to other people, everyone
on both the receiving and giving end of the stick and should know
has their own timing in life.
what it feels like to be judged. It's not fun when you're being bom-
20 21
barded for a decision or choice that you've made because others Everyone is dierent and has something about them that makes
are not pleased by or agree with it. Sometimes all you really need them who they are.
is support but instead, all you get are missiles red at you.
Many people judge. It’s hard for some to stop when it’s human na-
There have been several occasions people have judged me based ture but it’s not fair at all. That shouldn’t be an excuse anymore.
on my legs and looks.
The world is changing and so are people. There are too many
Oh no, you have a man’s legs, your legs are so big. Some will say people that are being bullied daily for being themselves.
behind me, “She can't even see her size in the market”; at night
People should not be castaway for the clothes they wear, the
I always crywhen I am alone. Sometimes I ask myself, “Why not
color of their skin, the way they look, their sexuality, their cul-
cut this leg and just have peace? Why not this? Why not that?”
ture, religion, or anything else. It’s our job to adjudicate and not
Life was so horrible for me and sometimes I feel like running away
have a stigma against people. We need to stop it.
from my home. At some point, I felt like killing myself.
When you judge other people without wanting to know the true story When we are judging everyone and everything, we are learning
behind their actions, is usually when there is something inside of you nothing. Absolutely nothing! Never judge anyone by the opinion
that is so broken that if you found out what you believed about them of others and don't bring up the past of a person who is trying to
was a lie, you wouldn't want to accept it or make amends. change their future.
Today some still judge people based on what is seen on the out-
Let's stop judging others, and relieve them of the heavy burden side of the way they act, talk or walk. Sometimes the best person-
they are carrying on their shoulders because of us. alities are those that people can’t understand or don't want to.
22 23
It’s good to hang out with other people that you aren’t used to
hanging out with to get dierent opinions and views of the world.
You don’t always have to hang out with someone that thinks like
you or whose views align with yours.
Everyone’s views will not be the same but that’s okay. We don’t
all have to be the same, not at all – because that would make
the world a boring place. If you don’t agree with another person,
you don’t have to. Just don’t be disrespectful to them and act like
your way of thinking is the best way. Hello! That style of thinking
won’t work. You’re not perfect and you’re not God, so don’t act
like you are above others.
Keep your mind open always, stay kind.

As human beings, feeling judged by others is oneof the most hurt-
ful things we can feel sometimes. But also without thought or no-
tice, we judge people as a reection of what we feel or think about
ourselves.
If you nd yourself constantly judging others, have you ever
stopped and considered why you judge others? Is it out of habit?
Perhaps jealousy? Or is it an unconscious behavior? Regardless of
the reason, focusing on the negative in someone only breeds nega-
tivity in you.
Everyone you meet is ghting their own battle, people are al-
lowed to be weak sometimes and make mistakes and people are Once you stop focusing on the aws in someone else, you can start
allowed to be dierent. It doesn't make them “weird or wrong". empathizing and even start appreciating other people’s qualities,
opening yourself up to all the great things they have to oer. Yes,
In fact, I have learned that some of the nicest people have tattoos
in the past I used to judge people all the time, but I judge mostly
and piercings all over their bodies and some of the most judgmen-
in my head or to my friends but that’s when I was younger and
tal people go to church every day.
didn’t love myself as much. I realize what a waste of time and en-
ergy to judge someone. Well but the fact is we do need to form de-
ductions from the behavior of the people before us so that we can
24 25
protect ourselves and plan our actions better. But we must avoid people are coming from rather than judging.
misjudging anyone on the basis of what others say rather than The psychological and emotional part of it really aects people.
what we think! This is very important because the bullying rate is really high.
People are killing themselves because of how others treat and
I think people that judge a lot don’t completely love themselves judge them.
or just think they are better than everyone. I can understand if Suicide is a major cause of death for young people today. Some
it happens in your head once in a while because you can’t always of them may have done it for other reasons but many do it be-
help it. However, if everything you have to say means or judge cause they are bullied why can some famous people get away with
someone for being themselves, that’s a problem. doing something but when you see a regular person you judge
Also, a lot of people that judge swear they are perfect or get them for it? It’s only acceptable when certain people do it but not
oended when someone else does it to them. Sometimes they others? That’s not fair.
take it up and come out in the form of big problems which can I don’t expect you to stop judging right away when that’s just a
later cause issues. part of you but try. We need to learn to love and accept each
Hello, why should you judge, and when others do it to you it’s other no matter what. When you show people that you accept
a problem? It hurts or oends you when someone does it, but them and are not judging them it makes them feel so good about
you constantly do it to others. Seems like something a hypocrite themselves. It makes them feel happier that they are accepted
would do. Look I just judged you. It makes you feel a way that I did despite being dierent from you. Maybe if we all tried to judge
right. Judging and criticizing others will destroy your happiness. less then fewer people would commit suicide and be happier.
Don't waste your Life Energy in Judging Others. We all want to be loved and be accepted. We won’t always agree
“Can you see what she is wearing?”, “She should have stayed at but try not to judge someone for who they are or their views.
home if she was going to rock her hair like that“, she's too fat, oh Your style will not be what another person likes. If you can't stop
no she sounds like a man, she looks like a boy, why is she acting judging others, chances are you also judge yourself harshly and
like a child? He can’t go out with us can’t you see his big head, See have a lot of limiting beliefs and counter intentions that block
her coming down from that man cars hope it’s not what I’m think- your manifestations. This seemingly innocent behavior can be
ing? I saw him yesterday at the front of the hotel. destroying intimacy in your relationships. The only true way to
manifest your dream life is to stop judging others and yourself
and unleash your true personal power.
Hello! Does that make the person a sinner?
When you see people for the "value" that they have, what you are
That is none of your business. It does not aect your life in any
doing is subconsciously seeing yourself as a “value”. So the more
way, so why should it matter to you. I don’t understand how
you judge others, the more you also will be subconsciously judg-
people constantly judge and talk about others when there are so
ing yourself.
many more important things to do.
The next time you think of passing an unrighteous judgment re-
A lot of people always end up having bad days because of all the
garding someone, think of your judgment as a bitter cup if the
unnecessary talks and thinking that add no value to their life.
same was given to you.
We need to be more open-minded and try to understand where
26 27
FELICIA OLAONIPEKUN
HOW TO STOP NITPICKING
My advice
Dear friends, let's try to look at the world and people more posi-
tively rather than negatively. It would make the world a better
place.
Everyone has untold stories of pain and sadness that make them
love and live a little dierently than you do. Stop judging, in-
stead try to understand.
Let’s stop the judgment of other people. Instead of being critical
of people, we’ve never met, let’s be open and accepting of others.
What would you do if another person judged you? How will judg-
A
wise person once said, “Jumping to conclusions is the
ing others get in the way of truly knowing someone? only exercise some people get.”We tend to ascribe cer-
tain traits to others. This is a convenient necessity at
times. We assume someone is friendly, or unfriendly; kind or un-
kind; cautious or aggressive. This can be very helpful as we navi-
gate the world around us, whether on vacation, at work, or in a so-
cial setting. But as with any asset, there is the possibility of error.
We assume certain characteristics of others. To not recognize
this leads to the counterproductive habit ofconclusion jumping.
28 29
of acceptance. Accepting yourself unconditionally will do won-

Below the surface, people tend to judge others based on their ders for your self-esteem and relationships. It needs to be said
own fears. When we look at someone for the rst time we see a that judging is also not a matter of discerning right and wrong.
reection of our past experiences and associations. It could be Rather, it is looking upon someone in an unloving way and de-
from their body language or the way they dress and behave. It ciding they are less than we are. And so, since we judge without
thinking, we must think not to judge
is insightful to be aware of how our past can aect our present
thoughts about someone else. This helps us spot clues to false or The habit of criticizing other people for what they lack is not
premature judging. healthy. If you think you are already developing this kind of
habit, do something to overcome it before it aects your life and
Reasons We Judge Others the lives of other people.
Here are few tips to follow on how to stop judging others
We are insecure-This is the main reason we judge. When we are
insecure and/or unhappy with who we are, we try to put other Tip#1- UNDERSTANDING
people down. Though it doesn't usually build us up when we put
others down, we do it anyway. We want to feel good by making
others feel bad.
We are scared- Often, when we're scared or intimated by other
people, we'll put them down.Coworkers band togetherand make
fun of their boss (see The Oce). Two women see a prettier
woman asa threat and they make fun of her outt.When people
are scared, they try tofeel better by putting others down.We also
may fear those who are dierent from us and may judge them just
because they are unlike us.
We are lonely-As I mentioned before, there is a bonding element
that goes along with judging others. When you are lonely, you
might use judgments to bond with other people, but these bonds
are based on negativity. The bonds you have based on judging
others are supercial and are not likely to contain the true sub-
stance.
We are seeking change -When we want our own lives to be dier-
ent, we are quick to judge the lives of others. For example, if some-
one wants to be in a committed relationship and his friend gets Try to understand where this person is coming from, her whole
engaged, he might whisper, "Oh, that girl issonot right for him. story, and listen. That person who made a remark you didn’t like
I don't know why they're getting married." If we are jealous of might have a story to tell.
others' changing lives we are likely to make quick judgments. For example, I met a beautiful young girl. She came to church
The next question becomes, how can I stop judging others all the dressed like someone going to clean a store, while I and other
time? members were discussing the matter of why she will wear such a
Living a judgment-free life can be achieved through the practice dress. I approached her and asked why she was looking that way.
30 31
She started crying and said, the person she's staying with tore all
her cloth because she did not want her to attend church. Under- Tip#3- REALIZE THAT PEOPLE ARE COMPLEX
standing and listening to the whole story behind someone’s opin-
ions or actions can help us understand them, even if we still don’t
agree.
Don't let appearance deceive you. Stop judging by mere appear-
ances, but instead judge correctly.
Appearance is the rst thing that can deceive. We often don't real-
ize that when we meet someone, we are seeing that person in a
fraction of their life. The way they look - whether it is amazingly
dressed up or tired with messy hair - is not representative of their
person as a whole.
Tip#2- ACCEPTANCE.
Keep in mind that everyone you meet has a life before you. They
went through experiences that you might never even have im-
agined, be it good or bad. The truth is, people can surprise you.
Tip#4 - REALIZE THAT EVERYONE KNOWS SOMETHING THAT

YOU DON’T.
Try to accept people as they are and not in terms of whom you
want them to be. This simple act alone will lighten your bur-
den because when you allow people to be themselves you give
yourself that same permission and freedom. You relax and enjoy
people and become more accepting of dierences.
32 33
Not only is that but there is always something you can learn from
the other person. That's why the next thing to keep in mind is
that everyone knows something you don't. You are not smarter.
And neither are you any less smart than people around you. Your
knowledge is simply dierent.
Being judgmental will drain your time, energy, and productivity.
It is a good thought of love, to stop judging others, Jesus com- You will have less quality time to spend with your loved ones,
manded us in Matthew chapter 7:1–5 that we need to start judg- studies, career, or business. Do not sacrice your time with that
ing yourself before pointing ngers to others. We can do this by habit just to get some comfort or entertainment. Remember that
obeying every command of Jesus. Remember that none of us is it comes with a price. Hence, spend your time and energy wisely.
perfect, but if I start by judging myself, I will help others in love Watch what you say. You don’t have to talk anytime you see
because I understand what they are going through. The point here something. Better still to keep a level eye.
is to help others grow spiritually as we grow also.Lower your ex-
pectations of what you expect of people, and you'll have a ton of
surprises in life that you didn't expect.
Tip# 5- MIND YOUR BUSINESS AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH
Tip#6- DON’T FORGET ABOUT COMPASSION
34 35
I've experienced the problem of judgment. It is a heavy burden.

But now I feel the benets in both my body and mind. If you want
to feel light like a feather, you should follow these tips on how to
stop judging others.
Remember that there’s ALWAYS something positive you can nd
in other people, and when you focus on the positive, amazing
things start unfolding…
Tip#7- Monitor your thoughts.
To be compassionate is to feel deeply for another person as they

experience the ups and downs associated with life. To be com-
passionate is to not just tell someone that you care, but also to
show them that you care by being there before they even ask for
it.
Compassion is like the medicine that helps you resist the urge to Think about what you think about. I often go along thinking
judge and criticize; you should also imagine what problems and things about other people, judging them, and I don't even
challenges of life other people may experience. These traits will realize it. I'm going to work on paying more attention to my
make you a wise, noble, and wonderful person. thoughts and do my best to push them in a positive direc-
tion.
If you continue judging others, consequently, you may lose

friends, even relationships, happiness, peace, and respect. Try to
Tip#8-Look for the positive.
understand that you're not perfect. All beings live on the same
planet, breathe in oxygen, and have the same physical structure of
Judgments are negative. There is almost always something
the body. If you admit this truth, you’ll have a chance to persuade
positive you can nd in someone or something. While my
yourself that judging others is a bad habit.
mind might immediately focus on the negative, I can push
36 37
my thoughts in a more positive direction and look for some- good to judge or to be judged so put an end to it right now.
thing nice to say. And, of course, if you can't nd something Dear reader, remember these tips the next time you feel like
nice to say, don't say anything at all. a negative thought about someone else is cropping up.
If we are low in self-esteem and condence, we are likely to judge

Tip#9- Avoid stereotyping.
others negatively at the extremes: either above or below us, to
make ourselves feel better (this is often a hallmark of racism) be-
Stereotypes are never, ever good. I really try to avoid them,
cause the more inadequate and unworthy a person feels, the more
but I know I don't always. They really create a lot of negativ-
racist they are likely to be. They need a scapegoat for all those
ity in the world and I know I don't want to be a part of that.
negative feelings they carry about themselves. Someone has to
I want to work on recognizing stereotypes and working to
pay for that, and those who are dierent become prime targets.
avoid them at all costs. There is no need for them in my life.
Judging others also suits our assumptions, stereotypes, and the
need to feel worthy.Thus judging is a natural human reaction to
Tip#10- Stop judgingyourself.
familiarize ourselves with the unknown, to put ourselves in the
picture, to regulate our actions, and to make sense of our world,
It's not all that easy to do, but the more we judge ourselves,
but on our terms. However, judging is controlled by our con-
the more we'll judge others. I judge myself a lot and I need to
dence, education, and experience so that we either temper its
work on that. I need to focus on the positive aspects of me
eect with more reasonable assumptions, or we use it negatively
and then it will be a lot easier to focus on the positive aspects
to suit ourselves and our fears.
of others. There's no reason to be so hard on myself and I'm
going to really, really work on this one.
Conclusion
Remember that every time you judge someone else, you reveal an
Tip#11-Focus on your own life. unhealed part of yourself. This is why it is so important to learn
how to be less judgmental of others and to cultivate a non-judg-
When all else fails and judgments are hard to push away,
mental attitude.
focus on yourself. Don't worry about what other people
are doing/wearing/etc. Think about your own life. Focus on We should stop being judgmental toward others to stop spread-
what you want and go after it. When you're trying to avoid ing hate and negativity in this world. We can do it by showing hu-
your own problems, it's easy to criticize others. Don't. Think mility, kindness, and compassion to other people.
about you and focus on the good things.
1. Pray for anyone that irritates you and pushes the irritation out
of your mind.
Tip#12- Remember how it feels. 2. Think of the person as a child of God. Remind yourself that God
loves them as much as he loves you.
Remember how it feels to be judged. And remember how it
3. See Jesus Christ in everyone you meet. “Truly I say to you, to
felt the last time you judged someone else. It doesn't feel
38 39
FELICIA OLAONIPEKUN
the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of mine, even
the least of them, you did it to me.” (Matt 25:40)
EACH LIFE IS A JOURNEY 1
E
very one of us has the good fortune to dream where the
dream is one of living better, or more wholesome, or mak-
ing our adventure down the path of life much more toler-
able and pleasant. It is these dreams that can shape a neighbor-
hood, a country, or even the world if you allow yourself adream
big enough. Thousands of people have big dreams, but it is only
a few that capture their dream, embrace it, and direct all of their
energy towards its realization.
Yes, life is a journey. Just think of your age and see how you were
before and now, notice the changes you came across. Try to re-
member the time you passed and the present you are, also see
40 41
how much you did yourself and what nature has changed in you. with the same passion, perseverance, or the dedication and sac-
Everything is included in this journey knowingly and unknow- rice necessary to make it a reality unless those goals are yours
ingly, which sometimes we take as God wishes for us. and yours alone.
Life is what we got free of cost, but the happenings sometimes are
going to come to our hands after the age of time. We go with the
ow of life, and make ourselves ready to live with it.
My life has given me lots of unexpected happening, I was unable
to understand everything came my way as l always tried to be
good to everyone, even to myself .But with lots to learning and
understanding, I got to know that every day, one new experi-
ence helps you study life. So don't expect anything from anyone
as sometimes expectations break the heart and give pain, doing
well doesn't return good to you. So learn to be good to yourself, be
happy with who you are and how you can make yourself happy.
Many things learned with bad experience only, as sometimes we
underestimate people whom we love and trust.
“Never compare your journey with someone else’s. Your journey

is your journey, not a competition”.
During the course of life, we do not know why we have a set
of friends, path of course, relatives. All these things are famil-
iar with journeys too. Every day, many journeys start from many
places to many destinations. Some journeys are good, others are
smooth and some are really rough. In the end, we reach the destin-
ations.
Your goals must be your own; you cannot live anyone else's goals
42 43
Some of these challenges will test our courage, strengths, weak-

nesses, and faith. Along the way, we may stumble upon obstacles
that will come between the paths that we are destined to take.
In order to follow the right path, we must overcome these obs-
tacles. Sometimes these obstacles are really blessings in disguise,
only we don't realize that at the time.
When things don't always go our way, we have two choices in
dealing with the situations. We can focus on the fact that things
didn't go how we had hoped they would and let life pass us by,
or two, we can make the best out of the situation and know that
these are only temporary setbacks and nd the lessons that are to
be learned.
Time stops for no one, and if we allow ourselves to focus on the

LIFE
negative we might miss out on some really amazing things that
“It’s a journey. No one is ahead of you or behind you. You are not
life has to oer.We can't go back to the past, we can only take the
more “advanced” or less enlightened. You are exactly where you
lessons that we have learned and the experiences that we have
need to be. It’s not a contest. It’s life. We are all teachers and we are
gained from it and move on. It is because of the heartaches, as well
all students.”
as the hardships, that in the end help to make us a stronger person.
Life is a journey and it's about growing and changing and coming
“The people that we meet on our journey, are people that we
to terms with who and what you are and loving who and what
are destined to meet. Everybody comes into our lives for some
you are.
reason or another and we don't always know their purpose until
Each life is a trip that takes us to places we either love, hate,
it is too late. They all play some kind of role. Some may stay for
or wish for something totally dierent. Too many people spend
a lifetime; others may only stay for a short while. “It is often the
most of their lives comparing themselves to others and it is this
people who stay for only a short time that end up making a lasting
comparison that can only serve to erode your own unique qual-
impression not only in our lives, but in our hearts as well. Al-
ities and your inner fabric. Every person is special in this world
though we may not realize it at the time, they will make a dier-
and it is not a welcome attitude to ever suggest that you should
ence and change our lives in a way we never could imagine. To
not change yourself to become an exact copy of another person,
think that one person can have such a profound eect on your life
nor should one attempt to believe or behave, or to own, or to ac-
forever is truly a blessing. It is because of these encounters that
quire what everyone else has or appears to have.
we learn some of life's best lessons and sometimes we even learn a
It is a journey lled with lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys, cele-
little bit about ourselves.
brations, and special moments that will ultimately lead us to
our destination, our purpose in life. The road will not always be People will come and go into our lives quickly, but sometimes
smooth; in fact, throughout our travels, we will encounter many we are lucky to meet that one special person that will stay in our
challenges. hearts forever no matter what. Even though we may not always
44 45
end up being with that person and they may not always stay in
Each day you live is not simply a matter of putting in time but
our life for as long as we like, the lessons that we have learned
it is, instead, of putting time towards making life better whether
from them and the experiences that we have gained from meeting
that is to learn more, to contribute to the happiness of others,
that person, will stay with us forever.
or to ensure that everyone you come in contact with leaves with
It's these things that will give us strength to continue on with our feeling a little more positive.
journey. We know that we can always look back on those times of
our past and know that because of that one individual, we are who
we are and we can remember the wonderful moments that we have
shared with that person.
Memories are priceless treasures that we can cherish forever in

our hearts. They also enables us to continue on with our journey
for whatever life has in store for us. Sometimes all it takes is one
special person to help us look inside ourselves and nd a whole
dierent person that we never knew existed. Our eyes are sud-
denly opened to a world we never knew existed- a world where
time is so precious and moments never seem to last long enough.
Throughout this adventure, people will give you advice and in-
sights on how to live your life but when it all comes down to it,
you must always do what you feel is right. Always follow your Life is a journey keep moving
heart, and most importantly never have any regrets. Don't hold The world is not full of grief and despair as we view on TV and
anything back. Say what you want to say, and do what you want social media most of the time. It is good in this world that super-
to do, because sometimes we don't get a second chance to say or sedes evil. But, we cannot give in to complacency either. The
do what we should have the rst time around. world needs us to move forward through using our talents for
compromise and understanding as much as it needs our abilities
Everything that happens in our life happens for a reason and to form companies or to make money. You can do both without
sometimes that means we must face heartaches. losing sight of the bigger picture where one contributes daily to
I love this quote from– Oliver Goldsmith “Life is a journey that help at least one person who is in need of something. This is key to
must be traveled no matter how bad the roads and accommoda- understanding the greater good and making it part of your life.
tions.” This thing we call life is not a destination with an end but a path
One aspect of your journey is to confront risks with a view to down which we continue to journey as long as we can breathe.
minimizing any negative impact by turning risks into manage- Life is to be lived not squandered or to give away waiting for the
able little bite-size chunks or to plan a resolution that sees the end to close upon us.
risk as an opportunity, as hope, not as despair. Few people understand that they have so much to give or contrib-
46 47
ute to the betterment of all those around them thinking that they
“Day by day we journey to the end! By and by we shall get to the
have no more to give. It is not that you do not have more to give;
end; when we get to the end, we shall see the end!”
it is more that you refuse to give. To be selsh is to cast yourself
adrift from all that is good for it is not a sin to be tired but more
sin to deem you are tired.
Life is a journey. When we stop, things don't go right.
Reect upon your present blessings, of which every man has

plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have
In life's journey, for all the starting place is the cradle and the end- some." Charles Dickens
ing place is the grave. This is common for everyone. Then, what
Each life is a journey...
is as special about life as a journey? Each and every journey is
unique and no two journeys are alike in the end, what is left with
every individual is the experience of the journey only. Nothing
else. Just like in the normal journeys, the fellow passengers may
help each to make the journey comfortable and pleasant or make
it horrible by disturbing and ghting with each other. Life as a
journey has no destination and one will realize that life itself is a
journey.
Life is beautiful only when we live life under our inuence.

“Note to self: This is your journey, your body, your mind, and
your spirit. Dig deep, own it, and start doing things for you and by
you.”
48 49
ENLIVEN
survive.
At the age of 1 - 3, he tries and walks. He now can breathe. He has
learned it by now. He walks because he knows at some point there
won’t be someone around to help him.
At the age of 3 - 6, he observes and speaks. He slowly starts sur-
rounding him with the people he likes and tries to keep away
from people he thinks he doesn’t like. Life is moving, he might
not have any idea of it. Or least, he hasn’t yet acknowledged it.
At the age of 6 - 10, he joins the schooling system where they teach
him. He now knows other people, he observes and surrounds him-
self with better ones or the one he thinks are better. He learns
and studies hard just to mark his presence among his friends. He
doesn’t know what exactly friends are.
At the age of 10–16, he understands emotions, gets scolded, and
patted. He thinks the world is a good place. His life is moving
slowly, he doesn’t know it yet. He’s least bothered about the fu-
EACH LIFE IS A JOURNEY 2 ture. His parents are there.
At the age of 16–18, he’s the teenager. He now knows that there
are good as well as bad people. Not everyone thinks good for you.
He knows he has to survive this, he has to prove himself, and he
has to ght. He studies. He gets attracted, he likes someone. He
talks a little rudely with people now. He thinks he is matured, he
W
e are all travelers here. This life is a journey. The jour-
is not.
ney continues after our immortal consciousness
leaves our body for a destination unknown. At the age of 18 - 22, he is in college, learning how to live with-
out parents, with strangers who may go on to become his friends
Time stops for no one, and if we allow ourselves to focus on the for life. He now enjoys every bit of his freedom away from home.
negatives we might miss out on some really amazing things that Slowly, with age, he is matured, not fully but he understands the
life has to oer. We can't go back to the past, we can only take the situations, he works hard. He improves himself. He is now wor-
lessons that we have learned and the experiences that we have ried about his future. He’s worried about his job.
gained from it and move on. It is because of the heartaches, as well At the age of 22 - 27, he works for a company. He has fewer respon-
as the hardships, that in the end help to make us stronger. sibilities. He enjoys his adulthood. He parties, he falls for some-
Each life is a journey let’s take a common person’s life as an ex- one. He breaks up. He also sends money to parents. He now thinks
of the future in a better and serious way. he wants his own house,
ample to prove this.
car, mobiles. He wants a better future for his parents.
Considering his/her life span of around 70 years, At the age of 27–40, he works harder. He has a family now, he has
When the person’s born, he cries for the rst time assuring his responsibilities to fulll now. He has kids. He is a father now. He is
existence. He cries because he now needs to breathe on his own to exactly like his father. He stops living for him, he lives for family
50 51
and their future. He earns more money, invests for a better tomor-
row.
At the age of 40–50, he is a respected person. He has a reputation
to maintain. He thinks highly of what society thinks. He’s trapped
with age, people, family, relations, and responsibilities. He only
understands his responsibilities. He forgets this is his only life, he
cares only about his responsibilities.
At the age of 50–60, he earns good money. He’s children are well
o on their own. He has fullled most of his responsibilities. He’s
relieved now. But with all this, time never stopped. He’s aged
now. He considers his age, restricts himself.
At the age of 60–75, he is retired.Life has changed. He has all the
free time in the life he ever wanted. He thinks about the past. He
wants to be a child again. He thinks about his adulthood again, he
wants to be young again. He wants to relive, just to start again the
same routine life he’s been living. Life is way too short to sit around thinking about every little
thing that could go wrong. To live our lives to the fullest, we must
Life is a journey, Life never stops living itself. You stop living it. rst get rid of that fear. Worrying solves absolutely nothing.
You are born, you’ll be old and you’ll die.
You're going to make plenty of mistakes, then make the same
Throughout this adventure, people will give you advice and in- ones again and a few more times. Life is about growing up and
sights on how to live your life but when it all comes down to nding who you truly are.
it, you must always do what you feel is right. Always follow “Remember where you have been and know where you are going.
your heart, and most importantly never have any regrets. Don't Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way”.
hold anything back. Say what you want to say, and do what you – Nikita Kolo
want to do, because sometimes we don't get a second chance to Proverbs 3:5-6- Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not
say or do what we should have the rst time around. Everything lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge
that happens in our life happens for a reason and sometimes that him, and he will make straight your paths.
means we must face heartaches.
52 53
and change something about yourself when you get fascinated by

others. This train can have an accident (abrupt ending) or you can
reach your destination. The journey has a time limit so does our
life. What you will do during your journey will dene you and in
the end that is how you will be remembered.
I wish you a joyful journey as you continue your train of life. Reap
Success, Give a lot of love, and be kind. Support your friends and
be happy. Moreimportantly, be thankful for the journey!
Memories are priceless treasures that we can cherish forever in

our hearts. They also enable us to continue on with our journey
for whatever life has in store for us. Sometimes all it takes is one
special person to help us look inside ourselves and nd a whole
dierent person that we never knew existed. Our eyes are sud-
denly opened to a world we never knew existed- a world where
time is so precious and moments never seem to last long enough.
“The most dicult times is what builds your character.”
Yes, each life is a journey Dear Reader Think of it as a train. The

passengers change in a train, the destination for every person on a
train will be dierent for a dierent reason. The train has a start-
ing point (Birth) and an endpoint (death). You talk with people on
the train, get to know them, exchange your opinions with them,
54 55
ENLIVEN
and how they talk about me when I’m not in the room. But guess
what? It doesn’t matter at all. People don’t care about you any-
way. Everybody is so concerned with themselves that they don’t
care about you, all that matters is them.
Stop trying to impress people who don’t care. Instead, focus on

making yourself feel good and appreciated. Love yourself, do
things that nourish your soul and make your heart dance. At the
end of your life, you won’t care about what anyone thinks of you.
All you’ll care about is your loved ones and whether you lived a
life that was true to yourself
Below Are 38 Lessons I Have Learned In My 23

Years.
38 LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED
1. Always swallow your pride to say you’re sorry. Being too proud
IN MY 23 YEARS to apologize is never worth it — your relationship suers for no
good benet.
2. Possessions are worse than worthless — they’re harmful. They
add no value to your life and cost you everything. Not just the
money required to buy them, but the time and money spent
T
he day you stop caring about what other people think is
the day you start ying for success. shopping for them, maintaining them, worrying about them, in-
suring them, xing them, etc.
We all have our gifts. But when you surround yourself
with jealous, vindictive, and negative people, those gifts remain 3. Slow down. Rushing is rarely worth it. Life is better enjoyed at a
forever wrapped. Get to know yourself before you try to meet leisurely pace.
someone else. 4. Goals aren’t as important as we think. Try working without
I sincerely believe that self-reection is the cornerstone of per- them for a week. Turns out, you can do amazing things without
sonal growth. You’ll never be able to live up to your full poten- goals. And you don’t have to manage them, cutting out on some
tial if you don’t stop in a while to look back and see how far of the bureaucracy of your life. You’re less stressed without goals,
you’ve come and what you’ve learned along the way. I see so many and you’re free to choose paths you couldn’t have foreseen with-
people of my age worrying about being liked by everyone and out them.
trying to be all things to all men. Admittedly, I was one of them So many of us worry about things that actually don’t matter at
for a long time. I thought it mattered what others think about me all. We spend a vast amount of our time and energy on dwelling
56 57
about the past or doubting the future instead of enjoying the pre- cause I'm going to lose my friend all because of money. I prayed to
sent moment.Usually, the things we worry about turn out not to God and asked for forgiveness and also went to her place to apolo-
matter much anyway. So, instead of worrying, what if we chose gize but along the line, God intervened and I was able to pay the
loving, dancing, and enjoying life to the fullest? money back. What I use the money for I can’t even give a positive
“Sometimes, you have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubt- account. Spend less than you earn, go without buying until you
ing. Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you have the money.
planned, but just how it’s meant to be.” 8. I’m not cool, and I’m cool with that. I wasted a lot of energy
5. The moment is all there! All our worries and plans about the when I was younger worrying about being cool. It’s way more fun
future, all our replaying of things that happened in the past — it’s to forget about that, and just be yourself.
all in our heads, and it just distracts us from fully living right now. 9. The only kind of marketing you need is an amazing product. If
Let go of all that, and just focus on what you’re doing, right at this it’s good, people will spread the word for you. All other kinds of
moment. In this way, any activity can be meditation. marketing are disingenuous.
Be patient, things don’t happen overnight. This might be an ob-
vious point to a lot of you, but it’s something I’m struggling
the most with. I know I’m too impatient and want to see results
right THIS second, whether it’s working out, learning some-
thing new, or just progress at work
6. When little children or adults ask for your attention, always
grant it. Give the little ones your full attention, adults you’re lis-
tening to, and instead of being annoyed at the interruption, be
grateful for the reminder to spend time with someone you love.
People have come from dierent walks of life and have stories to
tell that are dierent from yours, listening is the most important
trait you can have. Listen to people that have been on this earth
longer, listen to children they have a lot of messages to give either
through their actions or words. 10. Never send an email or message that’s unt for the eyes of the
7. Don’t go into debt. That includes credit card debt, student world. In the digital age, you never know what might slip into
debt, home debt, personal loans, and auto loans. We think they’re public view.
necessary but they’re not, at all. They cause more headaches than 11. You can’t motivate people. The best you can hope for is to
they’re worth, they can ruin lives, and they cost us way more than inspire them with your actions. People who think they can use
we get. I won’t forget the day I borrowed money from someone behavioral “science” or management techniques have not spent
and had no income or target on how to pay back. Anytime the enough time on the receiving end of either.
lender calls I don’t pick but when I pick up I act like I am sick,
12. If you nd yourself swimming with all the other sh, go the
this continues until the person just said you know what am done
other way. They don’t know where they’re going either.
with you keep the money God will judge. I cried that night be-
58 59
13. You will miss a ton, but that’s OK. We’re so caught up in trying
to do everything, experience all the essential things, and not miss
out on anything important that we forget the simple fact that
we cannot experience everything. That physical reality dictates
we’ll miss most things. We can’t read all the good books, watch all
the good lms, go to all the best cities in the world, try all the best
restaurants, meet all the great people. But the secret is: life is bet-
ter when we don’t try to do everything. Learn to enjoy the slice of
life you experience, and life will turn out to be wonderful.
14. Mistakes are the best way to learn. Don’t be afraid to make
them. Try not to repeat the same ones too often.
15. Failures are the stepping stones to success. Without failure,
we’ll never learn how to succeed. So try to fail, instead of trying
to avoid failure through fear.
16. Rest is more important than you think. People work too hard,
Finally for the FIRST PART OF 38 lessons I've learned in 23 years
forget to rest, and then begin to hate their jobs. In tness, you
see it constantly: people training for a marathon getting burned I have understood that I can only be happy when I’m content with
out because they don’t know how to let their straining muscles myself. It doesn’t matter what goes around you, what matters is
and joints recover. People try to do too much because they don’t how you feel inside. Happiness is a mindset that should be prac-
know that rest is where their body gets stronger, after the stress. ticed daily. I have learned that God doesn't give us what we want,
he gives us what we need. Every time. And although it may not
17. There are few joys that equal a good book, a good walk, a good
seem like it at the moment, and we may be frustrated or angry, in
hug, or a good friend. All are free.
the end, it's always what we need to grow.
18. Fitness doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a long process, a learn-
ing process, something that happens in little bits over a long
period. I’ve been getting t for ve years now, and I still have more To become a better version of yourself, you need to keep chal-
to learn and do. But the progress I’ve made has been amazing, and lenging yourself. In life, there’s no nish line, and your biggest
it’s been a great journey. teachers are the people who surround you. Being around people
who are far ahead yourself will accelerate your own growth and
19. The destination is just a tiny slice of the journey. We’re so
help you to keep moving forward instead of standing still
worried about goals, about our future, that we miss all the great
things along the way. If you’re xated on the goal, in the end, you Never give up on yourself. For as long as you breathe, you still
won’t enjoy it when you get there. You’ll be worried about the have a chance to make a change.
next goal, the next destination. friends come and go, but the best friend you will ever have in life
is Jesus Christ; because he remains till the end. Don’t doubt it.
60 61
FELICIA OLAONIPEKUN
One of our biggest mistakes in life is taking too much for granted.
We live as if nobody could ever take anything away from us. We
neglect our loved ones, our health, and our passions for way too
long until we nd out that these are actually the things that mat-
ter most.
Being grateful for all our blessings, however, is the most powerful
emotion we can have, Once you start focusing on the good and on
everything you already do have, you’ll suddenly attract more of
it plus, you’ll realize how much you actually have to be grateful
for Shelter, internet access, clean water, food, safety, and so much
more.
38 LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED

IN MY 23 YEARS PART 2
W
e tend to forget the big picture of our lives that we
just need to enjoy the ride and reect on our growth
as a person. Here are some things I have learned
throughout the way.
Life is easier when you have an inner re, something that excites
you, but you certainly don’t need to change the entire planet.
Sometimes, changing the life of one person can be enough, even if
that one person is you.
20. A good walk cures most problems. Want to lose weight and
get t? Walk. Want to enjoy life but spend less? Walk. Want to
cure stress and clear your head? Walk. Want to meditate and live
in the moment? Walk. Having trouble with a life or work prob-
62 63
lem? Walk, and your head gets clear. pleasure. Many people sco at vegetarianism because they love
the taste of meat and cheese too much, but they are putting the
21. Let go of expectations. When you have expectations of some- pleasure of their taste buds ahead of the suering of other living,
thing — a person, an experience, a vacation, a job, a book — you feeling beings. You can be perfectly healthy on a vegetarian (even
put it in a predetermined box that has little to do with reality. vegan) diet, so killing and torturing animals is absolutely un-
You set up an idealized version of the thing (or person) and then necessary. Compassion is a much more fullling way to live than
try to t the reality into this ideal, and are often disappointed. In- closing your eyes to suering.
stead, try to experience reality as it is, appreciates it for what it is,
and be happy that it is.
22. Giving is so much better than getting. Give with no expect-

ation of getting something in return, and it becomes a purer,
more beautiful act. Too often we give something and expect to
get an equal measure in return — at least get some gratitude or
recognition for our eorts. Try to let go of that need, and just give.
23. Competition is very rarely as useful as cooperation. Our soci-

ety is geared toward competition — rip each other’s throats out,
the survival of the ttest, but humans are meant to work together
for the survival of the tribe, and cooperation pools our resources
and allows everyone to contribute what they can. It requires a
whole other set of people’s skills to work cooperatively, but it’s 26. Taste buds change. I thought I could never give up meat, but
well worth the eort. by doing it slowly, I never missed it. I thought I could never give
up junk food like sweets, fried crap, nachos, and all kinds of un-
24. Gratitude is one of the best ways to nd contentment. We are healthy things … and yet today I would rather eat some fresh ber-
often discontent in our lives, desire more because we don’t real- ries or raw nuts. Weird, but it’s amazing how much our taste buds
ize how much we have. Instead of focusing on what you don’t can change.
have, be grateful for the amazing gifts you’ve been given: of loved
27. Create. The world is full of distractions, but very few are as
ones and simple pleasures, of health and sight and the gift of
important as creating. In my job as a writer, there is nothing that
music and books, of nature and beauty and the ability to create,
comes close to being as crucial as creating. In my life, creating is
and everything in between. Be grateful every day.
one of the few things that has given me meaning. When it’s time
to work, clear away all else and create.
25. Compassion for other living things is more important than
64 65
lovingly.
28. Get some perspective. Usually, when we’re worried or upset,
it’s because we’ve lost perspective. In the larger picture, this
one problem means almost nothing. This ght we’re having with 34. Love comes in many avors. I love my family, completely and
someone else — it’s over something that matters naught. Let it go, more than I can ever fully understand. I love them each in a dier-
and move on. ent way and know that each is perfect in his or her own way.
29. Don’t sit too much. It kills you. Move, dance, run, play. Em- 35. Life is exceedingly brief. You might feel like there’s a huge
brace what you used to love as a kid again. mass of time ahead of you, but it passes much faster than you
The greatest thing about being a child is fearlessness and imagin- think. You get gray hairs before you’re done getting your bearings
ation to be open to anything and we tend to lose that as we get on life. Appreciate every damn moment.
older. To have back that feeling even for a moment is a moment of
pure happiness.
36. Fear will try to stop you. Doubts will try to stop you. You’ll
shy away
30. Use the magic of compound interest. Invest early, and it will From doing great things, from going on new adventures, from cre-
grow as if by alchemy. Live on little, don’t get into debt, save all ating something new and putting it out in the world, because of
you can, and invest it in mutual funds. Watch your money grow. self-doubt and fear. It will happen in the recesses of your mind,
where you don’t even know its happening. Become aware of these
doubts and fears. Shine some light on them. Beat them with a
31. All we are taught in schools and all we see in the media (news,
thousand tiny cuts. Do it anyway, because they are wrong.
lms, books, magazines, Internet) has a worldview that we’re
meant to conform to. Figure out what that worldview is, and
question it. Ask if there are alternatives, and investigate. 37. I have a lot left to learn. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that
I know almost nothing, and that I’m often wrong about what I
32. Learn the art of empathy. Too often we judge people on too think I know. Life has many lessons left to teach me, and I’m look-
little information. We must try to understand what they do in- ing forward to them all.
stead, put ourselves in their shoes, and start with the assumption
that what others do has a good reason if we understand what 38. Say YES more. Ha, I’m the one usually staying in my comfort
they’re going through. Life becomes much better if you learn this zone. I don’t really like doing things I’m not comfortable with,
art. but I’ve understood that saying YES more to things you are not
sure about, can surprise you oh-so greatly! Whether it is meeting
33. Do less. Most people try to do too much. They ll life with new people, going to an event, etc… It’s actually not that scary.
checklists and try to crank out tasks as if they were widget ma- And it’s usually worth it. For the connections, the possible oppor-
chines. Throw out the checklists and just gure out what’s im- tunities, and just for a good time.
portant. Stop being a machine and focus on what you love. Do it
66 67
You were not given a choice to decide how you want to

be born, where you want to be born and the family you
want to be born into. But you have the power to decide
how your life will end. So don’t leave your life to fate or
some unforeseen forces, take charge of your life now.
You won’t live forever. This is your opportunity

to make an impact and do something for yourself.
Work hard, have fun and make history.
Words can be remembered for a long time by a person and impact

their lives, so be conscious of what you say to people that you
surround yourself with. The words you say represent yourself.
Books are life-changers.
I made a goal at the beginning of 2019 to read 10 books in a “For whatsoever thy hands nd to do, do it with all thy
year. One of the greatest books that have been my GUIDE and IN- might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge,
STRUCTOR is THE HOLY BIBLE that is the exact place I draw my nor wisdom in the grave.” – Ecclesiastes 9: 10
inspiration and writing from most of the time, especially when I
read about a character in the bible and how he/she has lived his/
her life. Also, I’ve recently tried out audio-books and it’s such a
life-changer. It’s so comfy listening to it while running, walking
to work, on the bus, or at the beach. (At the moment these are the
books that I’m reading;
1. Make today count. By - John C. Maxwell
2. How to Stop worrying and start living / How to win friends and in-
uence people. By - Dale Carnegie.
3. Why you act the way you do. By – Tim Lahaye
4. Take the risk. By- Ben Carson.
So this is my list of 38 things I’ve learned. Or keep on learning to

be exact.
Finally, you are the most important person because you come into
this world alone and leave alone so in order to take care of others
and to have the life you want,you to have to put yourself rst.
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ENLIVEN
looked at me, and removed her glasses. Tears roll down from my
eyes. I then apologized to her and with tears rolling from her eyes
she said, “Sorry I never noticed I stepped on you”, so I hugged her
ANGER and everyone went their ways.
Anger quickly generates confusion, but I’ve learned to stay pa-
tient and try to gure out what’s provoking the anger, and also
to refrain from assuming myself innocent (even in situations that
are utterly perplexing).
H
ow do you feel about anger? Growing up, I always felt Think of what would happen if everyone learned to deal with
that anger was “bad.” In school and at home I learned their anger!
that anger made people do “bad” things, and anger was a Ephesians 4:26. “If you become angry, do not let your anger lead
source of “evil” in the world. you into sin, and do not stay angry all day.” The Good News: When
we're angry, we can do something we might regret later or act in
a way that could hurt those around us. Wait until the anger dissi-
pates before making a decision or taking action.
December 2019 I went to the market to get some foodstu so I sat In the village of Eden, there was a very handsome boy named
on the couch waiting for my turn, then suddenly a lady stepped Cain and his brother, Abel, they were the rst two sons of Adam.
on me and she said nothing like "Am sorry "'I was so angry be- When these sons grew up, Cain became a farmer and Abel became
cause my legs were muddy.'. I tapped her and I was about to say - " a shepherd. Cain and Abel had been taught the right way to wor-
Hey sister can’t you see you stepped on me.” Then an old woman ship God.They knew that God required an oering of innocent
shouted she’s blind don't hit her, sister. Froze up when she turned, animals as a sacrice for their sins.But, when they came to wor-
70 71
ship God, only one brother was obedient to God.Abel brought a have a temper but do not see it as a serious sin.
lamb as his oering, but Cain brought fruit from his crops as his
oering. God accepted Abel and his oering, but He rejected Cain
and his oering. As a result of this, Cain became very angry. He
was angry at God and jealous of his brother.
God warned Cain of the consequences of his anger. God's message
to Cain was this: "Look out! Your anger is like a lion lying in wait
outside your door. You must master your anger or it will master
you." But Cain did not respond to God's warning. His jealousy of
Abel turned into hatred.
One lovely day, as Cain and Abel were in the eld together, at rst
he acted as a Good person but unknown to his brother Abel,'' Cain
had plans, so he came up with a trick but sadly, his brother fell
for the tricks. So, Cain rose against his brother and murdered him.
‘Thus the rst man born into this world became a murderer be- Anger is what happens when you don’t listen to yourself. When
cause he did not control his anger. you ignore your impulses and intuition and let yourself be
Creating action steps around anger is essential because it puts you swayed against your inner guidance. Anger won’t let you get away
back in control of your emotions. We cannot always control what with going against yourself.Anger requires a thoughtful, atten-
happens to us, but we can always control how we react. tive ability to listen, to truly hear how you feel, what you think,
'Anger is the most violent of human emotions because it involves what your instincts are. When these essential pieces of informa-
strong feelings; anger bothers closely with sin. ‘The Bible does tion get pushed aside anger will yank you back and demand your
not say, "Be kind, but sin not," or "Love, but do not sin," because attention.
kindness and love are far removed from sin. But when we are Listen to yourself, what is your inner guidance saying?
angry, we are in danger of sinning. Someone has said, "If we are to 1.When someone keeps you waiting a long time, you do not have
be angry and sin not, we must be angry at nothing but sin." to lose your temper. You can say,"Lord, You know that I need to
Common roots of anger include fear, pain, and frustration. For ex- learn patience. You are in control of my circumstances, and you
ample, some people become angry as a fearful reaction to uncer- have allowed this to teach me to be more patient."
tainty,fear of losing a job, or fear of failure. Others become angry 2.When someone says or does something that hurts your pride,
when they are hurt in relationships or are caused by pain by close you don't have to get angry. You can say, "Lord, You know how
friends. proud I am. I thank you for dealing with me about my sinful
We humans are funny. Sometimes we don’t let ourselves have pride."
what we want, then we’re mad when we see someone else getting 3. When others do not do what you want them to do and you
what we want. Many people, when angry, simply will not admit cannot have your own way, this is your chance to die to SELF. You
their anger. They say, "I am NOT angry!" Others admit that they can say,"Lord, I always want to have my own way, but you know
72 73
what is best for me. I accept your way." to express, resolve, and confront your emotions without hurting
Anger can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express nega- anybody.
tive feelings, or motivate you to nd solutions to problems.
Anger teaches us to address our true thoughts and feelings as they
arise so they don’t reach this point of fermentation.Anger can
feel like a last resort to release any repressed emotions.Learning
this lesson is about learning how to express yourself honestly and
completely at the moment rather than burying it for a later date.
One step in dealing with your anger is to stop and analyze,
ask yourself is it righteous anger, sinful anger, or a mixture of
both? Think about why you’re angry.
Anger can be controlled if you analyze it as to its source, recog-
nize and confess it as sin, and deal decisively with it as you walk
in the Spirit.
God used this approach with Cain when He asked, “Why are you Don’t forget to look for the origin of your anger and learn what
angry?” (Gen. 4:6). God never asks questions to gain information, it’s trying to teach you. Learning from your emotions is a form of
but rather to help the person think about the situation from God’s growth. Knowing how to manage them means expressing them
perspective. without hurting yourself or anyone else. Transforming your
Cain was angry because God had rejected his sacrice and he was anger into learning means healing yourself from deep inside
jealous of his brother, whose sacrice God had accepted. God
went on to exhort Cain to do well and to warn him that sin was
crouching at the door, ready to devour him. But Cain ignored
God’s counsel and murdered his brother.
Anger is energy; you need to recycle that energy into something
more productive.
It’s important to know how to properly manage and face your
anger when you feel it.To do so, you should look for physical ac-
tivity you can take your anger out on, and during that physical
activity, you should picture the anger leaving you as you feel the
relief of exercise.
You could also kick something, hit a pillow, or even throw stones,
and visualize your anger leaving your body during these activ-
ities.You also have to be able to release it without hurting your-
self or others. This takes emotional intelligence or knowing how
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ENLIVEN
1. Love yourself rst, if you wish to spread love to others.

2. Don’t be apologetic for being who you truly are.
3. There is no relationship bigger than your self-respect.
4. Nothing lasts forever.
5. Have deep gratitude for what you have.
6. Complaining makes you a negative person.
7. What others do in their life is just none of your business.
8. What others think of you is denitely none of your busi-
ness.
9. A positive mind can even move mountains.
10. Being needy gets you nothing.
11. The whole universe is your companion, you do not need
anyone to feel complete.
12. You are on your own.
13. There is a mission you have got to accomplish, and that’s
44 THINGS LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME the reason you were born.
14. Changing yourself for your betterment is no harm.
15. Don’t change yourself to please others.
16. You can never make everyone happy.
17. You can’t control others and how they treat you.
18. Let go of people who make you begrudge yourself and cre-
I
n this article, I will share with you 44 things life has ate no value.
taught me. I hope you will nd common lessons life 19. Keep away from things that make you regress into your
has taught us both in them. More importantly, I hope past.
you will learn from the things life has taught me and lead a better 20. Every human teaches you some valuable lessons.
life for yourself. 21. Your job is just a part of your life, it’s not your life.
22. Traveling makes you a better person.
Life gets better when you focus on the good things. No matter 23. Faith is important.
how badly I fail or no matter how successful I am, my family will 24. Don’t be afraid to take chances, you can always get up if
always be there to support more than anyone else. No matter the you fall.
situation you are going through, just believe in what you can do, 25. Do NOT regret anything, learn from it, and move on.
and it will miraculously work for you. 26. Follow your passion and money will follow you.
27. Gossiping and discussing people leads you nowhere.
28. Counting your neighbor’s wealth won’t get you half a coin.
The things life has taught me with each passing day include: 29. Live in the now.
30. Forgive people for your peace and move on.
76 77
31. Do NOT compare your life to others.

32. Social media isn’t the true life. I have had many instances in life – ups and many downs. The
33. Learn to give without forgetting your identity. greatest thing I learned was that nothing lasts forever. Enjoy it
34. Embrace the pain, accept it, and let it dissolve with time. before it ends! Life won’t give you another chance. Once it’s gone,
35. Rejections are good, they make you improvise yourself. it’s gone.
36. Heartbreaks are NOT major problems.
I hope you have learned from the things life has taught me.
37. Love and compassion are important as far as it doesn’t
ruin you.
You can make a billion dollars today, Graudate with a rst class,
38. Mess isn’t pretty and need not be.
have good job,marry the best woman in the world and have the
39. The cleanliness of your home reects into you.
best kids in the world. But if you don’t have Jesus Christ in your
40. What you eat is what you become.
life, everything you have toiled for is vanity.
41. Self-conversation is important for your improvement.
42. Sometimes, it’s good to keep quiet and give your opinion
What shall it prot a man, to gain the whole world and lose his
only when asked.
soul. think about it...
43. Nine thoughts to one word.
44. Any kind of exercise is good for physical and mental well-
being.
There’s no shortcut to success and there’s nothing like overnight
Other Lessons success. So stop searching for a holy grail or the insider’s secret to
success because there is none. Success requires knowledge, hard
Life isn’t easy and grass will always be greener on the other side,
work and commitment; in the right direction.
but the real joy to living life comes when you appreciate your life,
and live it to the fullest without looking outside; but embracing
yourself and your state of life. Jesus Christ was the son of God, he was born perfect and he had a
legion of angels at his beck and call; yet, it took him 33 years to
Don’t compare your life with others. If you compare, in the end fulll his mission on earth….and the lesson here is: Every worth-
you will only get disappointed and sad. So, be happy and content while goal has a process; and there is no shortcut.
with whatever you have.
Live in the real world. Your digital friends do not stand for you at
the time of trouble. Give quality time to your family and friends.
The best thing I learned early in life was that trusting is what
binds us to the superior God. I always thought that it was my
weakness that I trusted everyone. But then I found out that it’s
the quality that not everyone is bestowed with. Just leave every-
thing in God’s hands and do your best in every eld you are.
78 79
ENLIVEN
way is the way that works — and it’s dierent for each person.
I will never forget the rst time I felt the sting of failure. I was
thoroughly convinced that because of my failures I was relegated
to living a mediocre life. All those big hopes and dreams I once
had could no longer be fullled.
You know the saddest part of all? Nobody told me otherwise. So
I’m here to tell you, it’s actually okay to fail. Here’s why.
1. Failure makes us strong- Failure strengthens our character. We
humans bounce higher than we fall. Know that with each eort,
you grow a little stronger. When you don’t get the result you
want, you can become more determined to succeed. At rst you
probably feel discouraged, frustrated or upset but these feelings
don’t last forever. The beauty of having failed is that it takes away
some of the pressure of having to be right. You can forgive your-
self for the failure and move on. Failure makes you more focused
on a successful outcome next time.
7 REASONS WHY FAILURE

2. Failure inspires us- as individuals failure will inspire you .Any-
IS A GOOD THING one who has ever succeeded at anything is probably well-ac-
quainted with failure — because success usually takes more than
one try, and experts agree that failure can inspire us to work
harder and ultimately achieve our goals
When we fail, we grow and mature as human beings. We reach
T
o achieve the greatest success, you have to embrace the
deeper meanings and understandings about our lives and why
prospect of failure.
we’re doing the things that we’re doing. This helps us to reect
Failure is part of life, it serves as a stepping stone for
and take things into perspective, developing meaning from pain-
growth and re-purpose you for a greater good. I know sometimes
ful situations.
we want to give up when we encounter failure but giving up now
only brings regret later no great success was ever achieved with- Life is designed for us to grow and improve. From the very genetic
out failure. bers that make us into who we are as individual persons, into the
fabric of society on a global scale, growth is a fundamental part of
Life isn’t a simple math problem where there’s only one correct
us. Without growth, we couldn’t improve life on every front.
answer. What feels like a failure to you may not be the same for
someone else. Similarly, there are many ways to build a mouse- 3. Failure builds courage. - Courage is not the absence of fear; it
trap, house, or bridge, cook a chicken dinner, or paint a building. is feeling the fear and taking action anyway. When you have a go,
Once you accept the fact that there is no one “right” way to do despite the possibility of failure, you show that you have great
things, you’ll have learned a great lesson from failure. This is true courage Even though you didn’t get the results you wanted, at
even though others may try to tell you that you didn’t do it the least you were trying to do something. So many people let the
right way, as if they alone know what that might be. The right fear of failure prevent them from reaching for their dreams. So
80 81
FELICIA OLAONIPEKUN
don’t be worried about a failure – at least you had the courage to

have a go. .
4. Failure creates new opportunities
5.Failure makes success that much sweeter-
Life wouldn't be fun if things always worked out. Know that your
failure is just part of the game we're all playing. We expend a lot
of energy running from failure. Try embracing it. Find the oppor-
tunity in the adversity. If there's a recipe for success, failure might
be its primary ingredient.
Failure is a redirection. It shows you where you shouldn't be.

Failure is an opportunity. It's a chance to reevaluate and come
back stronger with better reasoning
Failure is not fatal. No matter how hard it may be known that fail-
ure simply means you get another shot to try it all again
Failure reveals our ability. LIFE LESSONS SO FAR
Don’t view failure as bad luck, instead look at each attempt to
reach your goals as a triumph. There’s always something to learn,
ways to grow, dierent viewpoints to see, and new opportunities
waiting just around the corner. So get in and have a go. Fail fast
and recover quickly to try again. Use every failure as an oppor-
M
y name is Felicia throughout my life, I always wanted
tunity to learn and to grow as a person. Remember that every
failure is like one step on the stairway to success. Above all else, to t in the society or my neighborhood, or among my
remember this: If you never fail, you will never succeed. friends... I was bullied by my childhood friends and I
was so insecure and felt the fears of dumping by my friends if they
thought I was not good enough for them. That was why I always
said yes to them and wanted to be invited to their events and al-
ways fullled their requirements. I was ugly, a little bit chubby
and they judged my appearance always. They told me like my legs
were not beautiful and I was such a joker for them because I made
lots of funny things in the class every time. Well yes, I was the
funny girl and I saw my sense of humor was my weakness because
lots of my childhood friends laughed at me because of it.
I was depressed because of my appearance and I was worried
about it too. But when I started to attend university, I met dier-
ent friends who appraised me for who I am. They said I was funny
and made them always laugh and made them happy even in their
82 83
saddest time. They said they loved to be around me. And I got my things in my life.
lifetime best friend at my University too. Because of them, I got
rid of the idea of worrying about my appearances. Of course, some Life is the best teacher. Along the course of life, it teaches us many
people disliked me because I was dierent from them and always lessons which help us to make decisions in the future and to also
had a strange idea about something. But I didn't worry about alarm other people so that they can learn from our mistakes.
what they thought about me at that time and I didn't try to t in
with them. Some of the life lessons I have learned so far and would advise you
I read books a lot but most of them are not textbooks and I to follow are-
didn't get any good grades in my exam. So they mocked me be- Over the course of life, we get to know many people and some
cause I seemed to be a knowledgeable person but I couldn't get
of them become our friends. But it’s a bitter truth that not all
good grades because I was losing focus. It was so hard for me to
ignore their judgment. But anyway, I ignored it. They also judged of them are your true friend. Most of them are with you because
my style and they told me that my style was not attractive to get they are getting beneted from you in some way or the other.
a boyfriend. But as I mentioned above I got two best friends that The day they stop receiving those benets, they will kick you out
time and they stand by me and they said I was beautiful which I from their life. So keep your friend circle small, only with people
didn't believe it. you feel a true bonding with.
I used to be a low self-condent person and never wanted to try Save money, honey
new things. But I was chosen to be a leader in my class and I
started to make my own decisions in some university activities. No matter what’s your age is or what you do to earn your living,
Then I started to change and turned to be a self-condent person. always make a habit of savings. However small the amount be
I used to be afraid to show o my feelings and didn't dare to speak it, keep on saving. If someday you nd yourself in such a situ-
out my own voice. But my friend told me that if I didn't do that I ation when you are in dire need of money, you will see that even
wouldn't know who are my real friends and whom I can rely on. So the closest of your friends won’t be supporting you monetarily.
I listened to her advice and I found that it worked a lot till now. That’s the harsh reality.
So, I think we need a good company to overcome your fear Spend Time with family, before the time runs out
and nd your strengths when you think you're on the edge and Life is unexpected. No one knows what will happen in the next
lose your condence. And you have to ignore people's judgment second. We are nowadays very busy with ourselves, involved in
and you need to focus on your life goals. You also need to be our work, working like machines and not caring about giving
surrounded by good and intelligent people because you have to time to family. You will be full of regret later when you couldn't
ask for their advice sometimes. You also need to get out of your spend time with your loved ones. So, nd some time for them and
comfort zone and you need to challenge yourself. Always remem- show them the love they deserve.
ber there's always a place for those who work hard to get to their
destinations. You are beautiful as long as you are condent and Unleash the Traveler in you.
have a kind and warm heart. And having a sense of humor is not a Life is too short to stay conned and the world is too big to be not
weakness. It's a major strength. explored. So take out time and explore places with your loved
That's what I learned till now and I am so glad to learn those ones. It increases the bonding among people. You get to see new
84 85
FELICIA OLAONIPEKUN
places, new culture, and learn the stories of dierent people, their
struggles through life.
Spread smiles to those who need it.
There is nothing more satisfying to bring smiles to people who

need it the most. Try to help people according to your capability.
It’s not always the case of money, sometimes some sweet words
and fair treatment also goes a long way in making people happy.
HOW TO INSPRE SOMEONE
W
e all know people who are inspiring. But just how
does one inspire others? Here are ten simple ways you
can inspire people to be their best:
1. Care about others. People don’t care about how much you
know until they know how much you care. Ask questions. Take a
genuine interest in people.
2. Encouragement. Everyone goes through tough times. When
you support people and encourage them through these times,
you’ll be inspiring them to see the best in themselves and in the
situation.
3. Be inspired yourself. Look for people, ideas, environments, and
knowledge that you nd inspiring and motivating.
4. Share from your own experience. You have more to share than
you realize. Mine the rich experiences of your life and share your
wisdom from your unique point of view. You may be the only one
86 87
who can touch someone with your inspiring message. and be productive then make sure you practice what you preach.
5. be vulnerable. Be willing to share your failures as well as Make sure that you are making the most out of each day and be-
your successes. Others will relate to you. They’ll understand that come the hardest worker that you know. This way you can use
they’re not the only ones with challenges. your own life story as a testimony to inspire others. What is great
about this is that when you use your own success story to inspire
6. Tell stories. Facts tell and stories sell. They inspire, too. We others you will become inspired yourself to continue inspiring
learn best from parables and we all need to develop our own in- others! However, make sure your ego does not get too big. You do
spiring stories. not need to brag about your achievements or hold them as stand-
7. Be a good communicator. Increasing your ability to commu- ards that others need to reach.
nicate eectively is a critical element for you to inspire others.
Watch how you speak and what you say. Invest in your communi-
cation skills.
8. Challenge people. Many of us have had teachers who at times
seemed more like tormentors than mentors. They challenged us
to do our best, and we were better for it. Practice "care forma-
tion"—the careful and caring confrontation of others.
9. Read. It may not follow that all readers are leaders, but cer-
tainly, all leaders are readers. Stay informed. Share what you read
with others. Tell people about books that have inspired you.
Share the knowledge.
It’s hard to inspire someone to be better than he already is but it's
not an impossible thing to do.
For inspiring other people it needs leadership quality it's like
handling a sports team and the team captain needs to lead the
way by playing well against everyone so team members can be in-
spired by his captain role in the team.
Even sometimes some people do not know their ability and how
much they can go for anything and forgetting them better they
should tell about their good quality so they can be feel good
about their selves and these little things can help them a become
a better version of them than they think they are.
Start by thinking of who or what inspired you. If you are want-
ing to inspire people then you obviously know what inspiration
feels like and you want to share that with others. Try to remem-
ber what inspired you most and see if that would work to inspire
those you are trying to inspire.
One way to inspire others is to become an inspiration. If you want
to inspire others to change their lives around and work harder
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ENLIVEN
cycle of stalking celebrities or the popular people you know. This

is bad because their lives inevitably look perfect on their feeds-
they aren’t, guaranteed, but that’s all you see. Seeing that imbal-
anced representation of others’ lives and comparing it to all of
yours can make you feel inferior or depressed.
I am happy when I maintain healthy life habits.
Eating well and healthy, exercising, spending time with friends
and family, and lots of laughter. When I am sad, I like to spend
time with my dog in particular because he’s very good at sensing
my moods and cheering me up.
I am happy when I understand that sadness is a part of life.
Negative emotions are natural. It’s just important to move on as
is appropriate- let yourself grieve, talk it out, learn from failures,
but ultimately let yourself become happy again.
Right now, I’d like to think that I am happy. In fact, I can’t remem-
ber the last time I felt like this. It’s freeing and there just aren’t
MY HAPPINESS VIEW enough hours in the day to do everything I want to- which, in my
opinion, is the best kind of life to live. Better yet, I have a feeling
it’s going to last for a long, long time.
As a young lady I have also realize the following
I
am happy when I have things to look forward to. What other people say about me is their problem, not mine. –
When I am excited, it’s impossible for me to be unhappy. I’m Don’t take other people’s negativity personally. Most negative
always thinking about this great thing in my near future; people behave negatively not just to you, but to everyone they
right now, it’s the trips I have planned for summer and start- interact with. What they say and do is a projection of their own
ing college. reality. Even when a situation seems personal – even if someone
I am happy when I keep myself busy. insults you directly – it oftentimes has nothing to do with you.
I like to keep myself busy because boredom has a way of bringing What others say and do, and the opinions they have, are based en-
me down. I’ve been packing my days by hanging out with friends, tirely on their own self-reection.
helping my parents with errands, driving my brother around for I am free to be ME.– Can you remember who you were before the
dessert after dinner, and just a bunch of other social and engaging world told you who you should be? Happiness is found when you
activities. I’m wiped out by the end of the day, which helps me stop comparing yourself to everyone else and what they want.
sleep a solid 9 hours from 10 to 7, and then I’m ready for another Stop living for other people and their opinions. Be true to your-
long day. self. You are the only person in charge of your life. The only ques-
I am happy when I don’t let myself fall down the social media rab- tion is: What do you want to do with the rest of it?
bit hole. Life isn’t perfect, but it sure is great.– Our goal shouldn’t be to
Social media is dangerous because you can fall into an endless create a perfect life, but to live an imperfect life in radical amaze-
90 91
ment. To get up every morning and take and good look around in I do not need to hold on to what’s holding me back.– You are not
a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is extraordin- what has happened to you; you are what you choose to become.
ary. Every day is a gift. Never treat life casually. To be spiritual in It’s time to break the beliefs and routines that have been holding
any way is to be amazed in every way. you back. Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything
It’s okay to have down days.– Expecting life to be wonderful all that no longer grows you. Listen to your intuition, not your ego.
the time is wanting to swim in an ocean in which waves only When you stop chasing the wrong beliefs, you give the right ideas
rise up and never come crashing down. However, when you recog- a chance to catch you.
nize that the rising and crashing waves are part of the exact same Who I spend quality time with matters.– Surround yourself with
ocean, you are able to let go and be at peace with the reality of people who lift you higher – those who see the great potential in
these ups and downs. It becomes clear that life’s ups require life’s you, even when you don’t see it in yourself.
downs. Drama and judgments are a waste of perfect happiness.– Make a
Even when I’m struggling, I have so much to be grateful for. – promise to yourself. Promise to stop the drama before it begins,
What if you awoke today with only the things you were thank- to breathe deeply and peacefully, and to love others and yourself
ful for yesterday? We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come without conditions. Promise to laugh at your own mistakes, and
as a result of getting something we don’t have, but of appreciat- to realize that no one is perfect; we are all human. Feelings of self-
ing everything we do have. Stress thrives when your worry list worth can ourish only in an atmosphere where individual dier-
is longer than your gratitude list. Happiness thrives when your ences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is
gratitude list is longer than your worry list. So nd something to open, and rules are exible.
be thankful for right now. Most people are judging me far less than it seems. – The truth
Every experience is just another important lesson.– Disappoint- is, while you’re busy worrying about what others think of you,
ments and failure are two of the surest stepping-stones to suc- they’re busy worrying about what you think of them. Crazy? Yes,
cess. So don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart. When things go but true. The good news is this knowledge instantly frees you to
wrong, learn what you can and then push the tragedies and mis- let loose and do more of what YOU want. And while doing so,
takes aside. Remember, life’s best lessons are often learned at the you’ll also liberate others to do the same.
worst times and from the worst mistakes. We must fail in order I can make the world a happier place.– Do your best to help one
to know, and hurt in order to grow. Good things often fall apart so person every day in some small way. By becoming the answer to
better things can fall together in their place. someone’s prayer, we often nd the answers to our own. When the
Not everything is meant to stay.– Change can be terrifying, yet people around us are happier, it’s a lot easier to smile.
all positive growth and healing requires change. Sometimes you The work is worth it.– Lose the expectation that everything in
have to nd the good in goodbye. Because the past is a place of ref- life should be easy. It rarely is. In fact, there are no shortcuts to
erence, not a place of residence. Be strong when everything seems any place worth going. Enjoy the challenge of your achievements.
to be going wrong, keep taking small steps, and eventually you See the value in your eorts and be patient with yourself. And
will nd what you’re looking for. Learn to trust the journey, even realize that patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep
when you do not understand it. a good attitude while working hard on your dreams. It’s knowing
Being wrong is the rst step to being right. – Sometimes the deep down that the work is well worth it in the end.
wrong choices bring us to the right places. To be creative and pro-
ductive in life, you must rst lose your fear of being wrong. And
Finally my happiness today is simply the result of my thinking.
remember, a fear like this can only survive inside you if you let it
live there. Happiness starts with you – not with your relationships, not with
92 93
FELICIA OLAONIPEKUN
your job, not with your money, but WITH YOU. It is not always
easy to nd happiness in ourselves, but it is always impossible to
nd it elsewhere. Regardless of the situation you face, your atti-
tude is your choice. Remember, you can’t have a positive life with
a negative attitude. When negativity controls your thoughts, it
limits your behavior, actions, and opportunities. If you realized
how powerful your thoughts were, you would try your best to
never think another negative thought again.
In pursuit of happiness, success and wealth; always preserve the

integrity of your name because a good name will outlive every
other achievement you will make.
HOW TO BE HAPPY
23 Ways to Be Happier
1
. Find out what to do rst.
How are you supposed to build the right happiness skills if

you don't know which ones you are struggling with in the
rst place? This is why it's helpful to take a quiz to ex-
plore your happiness strengths and weaknesses. Get a bet-
ter understanding of what these skills are all about, and
learn how to improve upon your weaknesses and build
your "happiness strengths."
94 95
2. Give yourself a condence boost. Every region in our brains can be strengthened through practice.
If our brains are really good at remembering negative things that
Why would you bother increasing your happiness if you didn't
happen, it can be useful to strengthen the regions of the brain re-
think you could be successful at it? You wouldn't. That's why it's
sponsible for remembering positive things.
so important to build your self-ecacy — to prove to yourself
that you can increase your happiness. The best way to do this is 7. Find those silver linings.
by starting with easier skills — skills like gratitude or prioritiz-
Everything we experience can be a bummer if we choose to see
ing spending time doing fun things. Get a quick win, and you'll be
it that way. But when you search for the benets or silver linings
more condent that you really can change your life.
in your life, you may be surprised to discover a lot of good. Keep
3. Fuel your progress by learning how to feel better about your- practicing to increase the positive and decrease the negative to
self. cultivate happiness. Also, this skill has been linked to a better
ability to cope with stress and be more resilient.
You wouldn't practice math to get better at cooking. And you
wouldn't learn another language to lose weight. To be happier, 8. Take breaks from social media.
you'll likely make more progress by focusing on the skills that are
Facebook, twitter and instagram tends to have a negative eect
most closely linked to happiness. In my research, the skill that
on our happiness. By choosing to take breaks from social media
usually turns out to be most closely linked to happiness is: posi-
— or changing the way we use social media — we can boost our
tive self-views. Learning how to feel better about yourself — for
happiness.
example, by imagining your best possible self, noting your posi-
tive qualities, or identifying your strengths — can go a long way 9. Spend smarter for more happiness.
to increasing your happiness.
How we choose to spend our money impacts what we can do and
4. Create balance and overcome burnout. how we live in ways that impact how happy we are. When we
choose a less fancy house or car — things that don't bring us much
How are you supposed to have the energy to be happier if you're
happiness — we have more money to spend on adventures or on
stressed, exhausted, and miserable from work? It will be really
gifts for friends: things that actually do make us happier.
hard. Building new skills, skills that will help you be happier, will
take time and energy. So it's helpful rst to create better work-life 10. Communicate kindly.
balance.
When we are kind to others, we feel better about ourselves. We
5. Build a growth mindset for happiness. can do nice things for others, be empathetic, or we can just treat
each other with respect, communicating kindly rather than as-
A growth mindset refers to the belief that we can change our-
suming the worst.
selves. When we build a growth mindset for happiness, we be-
lieve we can change our happiness. This is super important, be- 11. End your negative patterns of thinking.
cause if we don't believe we can increase our happiness, we won't
Let's face it: Sometimes we are what's making us miserable. We
even bother to try.
just can't stop thinking about how so-and-so wronged us, or how
6. Make positive memories. our life didn't turn out as we hoped. Negative thought processes
96 97
— like worrying, ruminating, self-judgment, and fearing rejection but by practicing mindfulness we experience more fully both the
— just keep us miserable and unable to move forward. When positive and the negative — we are more fully engaged in our
you nd yourself thinking negatively, pause and refocus your lives.
thoughts. In time, your brain will be able to do this more easily on
17. Explore what happiness means to you.
its own.
We all dene happiness in dierent ways. When you know what
12. Find clarity.
happiness means to you, you'll have an easier time nding it. So
How are you supposed to move your life forward when you don't explore happiness — what it means, what it looks like, and what
even know what you feel or why you feel it? To become happier, it feels like — to more easily create it.
try to gain clarity on your emotions; nd out what you're feeling
18. Go after life.
and what caused those feelings.
How are you supposed to change your life by doing the same
13. Live your values.
things you've always done? It's pretty tough. Instead, push your-
When you start to explore yourself and your values, you may dis- self to overcome fear and approach life with enthusiasm. Try
cover that you've known all along what would make you happy, "doing the opposite" to see how it feels and to make your brain
but you're just not doing it. To be happier, get clear on your more exible.
values, so that you can live your life autonomously, according to
19. Speak up and be yourself.
your own principles and values.
When we let people walk all over us, we're unhappy. But when we
14. Pay attention to the good.
advocate for our own needs assertively and express ourselves, we
Sure, sometimes life is hard. But by paying attention to the good, feel more in control of our lives. Learning how to express yourself
you can rise above it and be more resilient. When you nd the can help you overcome interpersonal challenges, which can make
good, savor the moment, and bring it with you to maintain hap- you unhappy.
piness even during hard times. Or try thinking about a time in the
20. Find your purpose.
future when you'll feel better.
We all want to feel like we made some sort of positive impact in
15. Use your imagination to create the life you seek.
this world, but sometimes we are uncertain of the type of impact
Did you know that your brain has a dicult time dierentiating we want to make. Explore exactly what gives you a sense of pur-
between things that happen in your imagination and things that pose and how you want to pursue this purpose to give your life a
happen in real life? So when you imagine something — even hap- greater sense of meaning.
piness — your brain acts as if it's real. We can use imagination to
21. Build meaningful connections.
help create happiness out of thin air and enjoy our experiences
more. Did you know we enjoy just about everything more when we do it
with others? This is why one of the best things you can do for your
16. Stay mindful.
happiness is to build meaningful relationships and social connec-
Sometimes we want to escape. The world seems dark and scary, tions. To strengthen these relationships, practice kindness and
98 99
gratitude towards the people you care about. I mean what do you really want?
22. Get o the hedonic treadmill.

Maybe it's not the car but the freedom
The "hedonic treadmill" refers to the tendency for us to return to Maybe it's not the money it's the peace of mind
our original happiness level over time. To boost your baseline- Maybe it's not the house but a need to feel safe
level happiness, you can try changing your physiology through
nutrition and exercise. To maintain your happiness, you have to I believe happiness is choosing the reality we have.
get out of your comfort zone and keep adding variety to your I believe peace is found within.
happiness plan.
We have believe happiness is choosing what we see in front of us
23. Hold yourself accountable.
in this moment sometimes happiness looks like peace with our
We are more likely to do the things we say we're going to do if current situation happiness looks like surrender in our situation
we schedule time in our calendars to do them. We can also more and what I realized in my 24th birthday I was alone at school and
easily stay on track if we get accountability from others. So if you you know by myself for my birthday I had a moment when I’m
really want to be happier, don't let yourself get away with being sitting by the pool and my mind started to go and feel sorry for
unhappy myself I started to think felicia you're almost 25 and you're here
alone in school no one here to help you celebrate your birthday
The most important thing to realize about happiness is that it you don't have a boyfriend you don’t have anyone here you are
is not an outcome of current circumstances. Just the opposite, so unsuccessful and I really started going here in my mind and in
happiness is a choice. Is this easier on some days than others? Ab- that moment in got aware of my thoughts and I started to really
solutely. But if you get caught in the trap of thinking your circum- take myself out of my situation and I realized there was times in
stances need to change before you can be happy, you’ll never, ever my life where I was in a relationship and all I wanted to do was
get there. staying home there were times when I was in relationship and
it was so lonely as I ever felt and I realized that no matter what
No matter how you choose to dene happiness—short-term or happens in my life whether I got married or had kids or whatever
long-term—comparison will rob you of it. Whether we compare that might be in every single situation in my life it's up to me
our nances, our body type, our vacations, our talents, our house to choose happiness it’s up to me to choose bliss any time in any
size or our shoe size, there are no winners in the game of compari- place in our life the grass could always be greener on the other
son. But here’s the good news: Nobody is forcing you to play! You side show can you nd gratitude for what you had and I sat there
can stop any time you want. Be grateful for what you have, appre- and I realized I had an equal possibility and opportunity in that
ciate who you are, work hard every day to live your best life, and moment to feel sad about the fact that I was in school and by my-
stop comparing yourself to others. self on my birthday or I could feel excited about the fact that I'm
24 years old and I’m single and free and had created the kind of life
Sometimes we need to take a BIG giant step back and ask yourself, where I could be in that kind of situation so long as your mind and
what do I want? think to yourself where in your life are you but sizing the wrong
things where in your life could you pray strategize your thinking
100 101
FELICIA OLAONIPEKUN
where in your life could you ship the stories you're telling your-
self because really at the end of the day it's you who can actually
free yourself From your mental prison as Bob Marley said right
emancipate yourself from mental slavery none but ourselves can
free our minds that's aware in your life.
You need to free your own mind where you're in your life ,you AFTERWORD
need to reevaluate what you want because the things we think we
want are not that things that are going to bring us peace so peace
is something that really comes within us.
The things I have shared here are nothing close to one-zillionth

of all the things that God has done and inspire me to write about.
But I hope you have learnt one or two things and your soul has re-
ceived a boost. Friends, no matter what you may be going through
at the moment, no matter the challenges that may come your
way in the future, remember that God is good all the time and He
is always working things out for you good.
The answer to every question and the solution to every problem;

can be found in the word of God (Holy Bible). All you need to do is
seek, with an open mind.
Put your trust in no man. Trust only in God and yourself.
Keep Basking in His Goodness!
Felicia.
102 103
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Felicia Omolara Olaonipekun
Felicia is a passionate know-
ledge seeker,a young adult who
is inspired greatly by God
through every day ordinary oc-
currences .She believes she's on a
mission to inspire and touch
lives positively one of the tools
God has given her to fulll this
mission is writing. She shares her life experiences via social
media and blogs at feliinspiremywold.com. to inspire and en-
courage people around her. She is a lovely girl with an extraordin-
ary imagination. She is also a minister. Felicia is a student of Mass
Communication at Babcock University, Ogun State. She is also
the co-presenter of BUSINESS TRAIN and MORNING DRIVE show
on Hope 89.1 FM Babcock university ocial radio station.
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Cover design by: Art Painter

I love to read and listen to testimonies because they are faith

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Ife Abolarin,Ifeoluwa Anjola,Onu victory,Segun Oniade,Rotimi Bolakale,Adeniyi

To all my lecturers,who have instilled a bit of knowledge in me ,and have encour-

To Adebayo Omoniyi, I am so grateful to have your support of my writing. Thank

To Makinwa Ojo , a truly faithful friend, whose simplicity reminds me of Christ.

To all my friends Apata ife, kehinde Adeleye,Deborah Miracle,Esther Nwao-

Sometimes we get confused

Finding the absolute purpose of my life.

body was willing to make any move, so I calmly raised my right

A NEVER GIVE UP MOTIVATION

stone towards success. It’s through our greatest failures that we

Trusting the timing in life is about a belief; planning and not

Keep your mind open always, stay kind.

HOW TO STOP NITPICKING

of acceptance. Accepting yourself unconditionally will do won-

Tip#4 - REALIZE THAT EVERYONE KNOWS SOMETHING THAT

Tip# 5- MIND YOUR BUSINESS AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH

Tip#6- DON’T FORGET ABOUT COMPASSION

I've experienced the problem of judgment. It is a heavy burden.

Tip#7- Monitor your thoughts.

To be compassionate is to feel deeply for another person as they

If you continue judging others, consequently, you may lose

If we are low in self-esteem and condence, we are likely to judge

EACH LIFE IS A JOURNEY 1

“Never compare your journey with someone else’s. Your journey

Some of these challenges will test our courage, strengths, weak-

Time stops for no one, and if we allow ourselves to focus on the

Memories are priceless treasures that we can cherish forever in

Life is a journey. When we stop, things don't go right.

Reect upon your present blessings, of which every man has

Life is beautiful only when we live life under our inuence.

and change something about yourself when you get fascinated by

Memories are priceless treasures that we can cherish forever in

Yes, each life is a journey Dear Reader Think of it as a train. The

Stop trying to impress people who don’t care. Instead, focus on

Below Are 38 Lessons I Have Learned In My 23

38 LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED

22. Giving is so much better than getting. Give with no expect-

23. Competition is very rarely as useful as cooperation. Our soci-

You were not given a choice to decide how you want to

You won’t live forever. This is your opportunity

Words can be remembered for a long time by a person and impact

So this is my list of 38 things I’ve learned. Or keep on learning to

1. Love yourself rst, if you wish to spread love to others.

31. Do NOT compare your life to others.

7 REASONS WHY FAILURE

When we fail, we grow and mature as human beings. We reach

don’t be worried about a failure – at least you had the courage to

Failure is a redirection. It shows you where you shouldn't be.

Spread smiles to those who need it.

There is nothing more satisfying to bring smiles to people who

HOW TO INSPRE SOMEONE

cycle of stalking celebrities or the popular people you know. This

As a young lady I have also realize the following

In pursuit of happiness, success and wealth; always preserve the

How are you supposed to build the right happiness skills if

22. Get o the hedonic treadmill.

Reect upon your present blessings, of which every man has

Life is beautiful only when we live life under our inuence.