Four Horsemen Antidotes
Four Horsemen Antidotes
Four Horsemen Antidotes
The four horsemen are behaviors that escalate Antidotes are skills that replace each of the four
conflict and damage a relationship. Over time, horsemen. These skills help resolve conflict and
these harmful behaviors may become a normal encourage positive feelings between partners.
part of communication between partners.
• Focus is on perceived personal flaws rather • Save the discussion for an appropriate time.
than changeable behaviors. • Use warm body language and tone of voice.
• Often met with defensiveness. • Use “I” statements.
“This kitchen is a mess. You’re such a slob.” “I feel frustrated when dirty dishes are left in the
sink. Could you please do the dishes tonight?”
“It isn't my fault I yelled. You were late, not me!” “I shouldn't have raised my voice. I’m sorry.”