FACING FEAR

A little bit of fear is normal. In fact, fear helps you instinctively protect yourself from harm.
Your fear might help you to recognize when you’re about to do something dangerous, and it
could help you to make a safer choice.

But, you might find yourself fearful of things that aren’t actually dangerous, like public
speaking. Your fear of public speaking might prevent you from advancing in your career or
participating in traditions like giving a toast at your best friend's wedding.

If you really want to go on a vacation to Europe, but your fear of flying gives you pause, you
might feel like your fear is stopping you from living your dream. If you find that your fear holds
you back or creates bigger problems in your life, facing your fear may help you learn to better
cope with the fear and ultimately overcome it.

Common ways of facing your fears are evaluating the risks, creating an action plan, seeing a
therapist, and being sure not to completely avoid your fears. However, you may need to first
decide whether it’s necessary to face your fear if it is not part of your daily life.

Evaluate Risks
Sometimes, fear comes from simply not knowing very much about the thing you fear.1 For
example, you might be afraid of airplanes because it seems like you have heard about a lot of in-
air incidents that lead to injury or death.

However, if you look into the statistics, you might learn that the probability of death on a U.S.
commercial jet airline is 1 in 7 million (in comparison to 1 in 600 from smoking).

You can also learn more about what causes those bumps and jolts during turbulence on an
aircraft—it’s simply the movement of air having an effect on the aircraft and, if you’re buckled
in properly, poses very little threat to you.

Of course, less tangible fears, such as being afraid of public speaking, don’t necessarily have
statistics to help you learn more about the risks you perceive. But you can read about other
people’s successful public speaking ventures, or learn more about the successful public speaking
strategies, to help you feel more confident.

Keep in mind that just because something feels scary, it doesn’t mean it’s actually risky. Educate
yourself about the facts and the risks you actually face by doing the things that scare you.

Create an Action Plan

The key to facing your fears is to take one small step at a time. Going too fast or doing
something too scary before you are ready can backfire.

But it’s also important to keep moving forward. A moderate amount of anxiety is OK. Don’t wait
for your anxiety to disappear before taking a step forward, or you may find yourself waiting for a
change that isn't going to come on its own.

The best way to create an action plan is to create a fear hierarchy made up of small steps. Here’s
an example of how someone might face the fear of public speaking one step at a time using a
form of exposure therapy:

1. Stand in front of a mirror and give a two-minute talk.

2. Record yourself giving a talk and watch it back.
3. Practice the talk in front of a partner.
4. Practice the talk in front of a partner and family member.
5. Practice the talk in front of a partner, family member, and one friend.
6. Practice the talk in front of a partner, family member, and two friends.
7. Give the talk in a meeting at work.

In some cases, virtual reality treatment may be an option to provide exposure therapy. The

treatment has shown promise in treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).2

Seek a Therapist
If your fears are debilitating, you aren’t having much success facing them on your own, or your
fear is related to a specific health condition, like an eating disorder, social anxiety disorder, or
PTSD, you can seek the help of a trusted mental health professional. If you have a specific
phobia, which is a persistent, diagnosable anxiety disorder, you may not feel prepared to conquer
your fears on your own.

A cognitive behavioral therapist can help desensitize you to your fears one small step at a time.
Most mental health professionals are comfortable treating a variety of fears and phobias ranging
from the fear of public speaking to arachnophobia.3

Treatment may involve talking about the thing that scares you, practicing relaxation strategies,
and managing your anxiety as you face your fears head-on. A therapist can help you go at a pace
that is comfortable and healthy for you.

Fear-facing treatment may include:

 Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT): ACT involves accepting your fears in

order to make them less threatening and less impactful on your life.
 Exposure therapy (immersion therapy): The underlying principle of exposure therapy
is that through practice and experience, you will become more comfortable in situations
that you would otherwise avoid.
  Psychoanalytic theory: Psychoanalysis aims to cure the fear or phobia by rooting out
and solving the original conflict.

Avoiding vs. Facing Your Fears

While avoiding the situations you fear might make you feel better in the short term, avoidance
can cause increased anxiety in the long term. When you completely avoid your fears, you teach
your amygdala (the fear center in your brain) that you can't handle them.

On the contrary, gradually facing your fears, in small doses that don't overwhelm you, may help
decrease anxiety "habituating" your amygdala, or letting your brain become accustomed to the
fear.

According to an animal study published in the journal Science, the brain has to experience
repeated exposure to fear in order to get over it. Researchers placed rodents in a small box and
gave them a mild shock. Then, over a long period, they place the same rodents in a box without
administering shocks. At first, the mice froze but with repeated exposure, they were able to
relax.4

While animal research isn't directly applicable to humans, the thought behind facing your fears
aims to achieve a similar outcome.

Should You Face Your Fear?

You don’t need to conquer every fear you have. A fear of tsunamis may not be disruptive to your
everyday life if you live 1,000 miles away from the ocean. But it may be a problem if you live on
the coast and panic every time you hear about earthquakes, storms, or high tides because you
think you might be in danger, or you avoid going on a vacation you'd otherwise enjoy in an effort
to avoid getting close to open water.

Have an internal conversation with yourself about what your fears are stopping you from doing,
and consider whether it’s a problem that you need to confront. Are your fears causing you to lead
a less fulfilling life than the one you hoped for?

1. Consider the pros and cons of not facing your fear. Write those down.
2. Identify the pros and cons of tackling your fears head-on.
3. Write down what you might achieve or how your life might be different if you overcome
your fear.
4. Read over the lists to make a clearer decision about what to do next.

Fear vs. Phobia

When determining whether you should face your fear on your own, it's important to understand
the distinction between a normal fear and a phobia. When psychologists distinguish between
fears and phobias, the key difference is the strength of the fear response and its impact on the
person's life.

You also might watch videos about airplanes, or park your car near an airport in an area where
you can watch flights land and take off. Learning more about planes and being near them may
help ease your fear over time. 

If you can’t actually do the thing that scares you to practice, you might use imagined exposure.
For example, while it’s difficult to practice flying on an airplane one step at a time, you might be
able to induce a little anxiety by imagining yourself getting on a plane. Think about how it would
feel to take your seat and how you would handle feeling the plane take off.

Both fears and phobias generate an emotional response, but a phobia causes anxiety that is
disproportionate to the perceived threat so much so that it interferes with a person's ability to
function. For example, while a fear of flying may make you anxious about an upcoming trip or
have you considering an alternate means of travel, if you have aerophobia (a specific phobia
surrounding flying), your phobia may impact your daily life, including:

 Spending an inordinate amount of time worrying about flying (even when a trip isn't
imminent)
 Avoiding airports
 Becoming anxious when planes fly overhead
 Having an inability to board a flight, or experiencing a serious physiological response
like sweating, shaking, or crying if you do board a plane

While treatment for phobia may very well include an element of facing the fear in the form of
guided therapy, it may also include medication or alternative therapies.

Press Play for Advice on Facing Your Fears

Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind
Podcast shares a strategy to help you find courage when you need it the most. Click below to
listen now.

Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts / RSS

A Word From Verywell

The best way to conquer a fear is to face it head on, but it’s important to do so in a healthy
manner that helps you move past the fear rather than in a way that traumatizes you. If you're
having difficulty on your own, a mental health professional can guide you gradually through the
situations that you fear, being sure to first work on the thought patterns that keep you stuck.
Ten ways to fight your fears

Whatever it is that scares you, here are 10 ways to help you cope with your
day-to-day fears and anxieties.

These tips are for people who are coping with everyday fears. If you have
been diagnosed with an anxiety-related condition, see our page on
generalised anxiety disorder.

1. Take time out

It's impossible to think clearly when you're flooded with fear or anxiety. The
first thing to do is take time out so you can physically calm down.

Distract yourself from the worry for 15 minutes by walking around the block,
making a cup of tea or having a bath.

2. Breathe through panic

If you start to get a faster heartbeat or sweating palms, the best thing is not to
fight it.

Stay where you are and simply feel the panic without trying to distract
yourself. Place the palm of your hand on your stomach and breathe slowly
and deeply.

The goal is to help the mind get used to coping with panic, which takes the
fear of fear away.

Try this breathing technique for stress

3. Face your fears

Avoiding fears only makes them scarier. Whatever your fear, if you face it, it
should start to fade. If you panic one day getting into a lift, for example, it's
best to get back into a lift the next day.

4. Imagine the worst

Try imagining the worst thing that can happen – perhaps it's panicking and
having a heart attack. Then try to think yourself into having a heart attack. It's
just not possible. The fear will run away the more you chase it.
5. Look at the evidence
It sometimes helps to challenge fearful thoughts. For example, if you're scared
of getting trapped in a lift and suffocating, ask yourself if you have ever heard
of this happening to someone. Ask yourself what you would say to a friend
who had a similar fear.

6. Don't try to be perfect

Life is full of stresses, yet many of us feel that our lives must be perfect. Bad
days and setbacks will always happen, and it's important to remember that life
is messy.

7. Visualise a happy place

Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine a place of safety and calm. It
could be a picture of you walking on a beautiful beach, or snuggled up in bed
with the cat next to you, or a happy memory from childhood. Let the positive
feelings soothe you until you feel more relaxed.

8. Talk about it
Sharing fears takes away a lot of their scariness. If you can't talk to a partner,
friend or family member, call a helpline such as Breathing Space on 0800 83
85 87 or Samaritans on 116 123.

You could also try a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approach over the
telephone, with a service such as NHS Living Life. If you would like to find out
more about this appointment-based service, you can visit the Living
Life website or phone 0800 328 9655 (Mon to Fri, 1pm to 9pm).

If your fears aren't going away, you can ask your GP for help. GPs can refer
people for counselling, psychotherapy or help through an online mental health
service, such as Living Life to the Full.

9. Go back to basics
Lots of people turn to alcohol or drugs to self-treat anxiety, but this will only
make matters worse. Simple, everyday things like a good night's sleep, a
wholesome meal and a walk are often the best cures for anxiety.

10. Reward yourself

Finally, give yourself a treat. When you've made that call you've been
dreading, for example, reinforce your success by treating yourself to a
massage, a country walk, a meal out, a book, a DVD, or whatever little gift
makes you happy.

How to Deal with Fear and Anxiety

Facing Fear & Anxiety Home
Impact of fear and anxiety
Work with threats
Manage fear and anxiety
More resources

In this section we address things you can do on

your own to work with fear and anxiety. We do not cover the many valuable
techniques and therapies available when working with professional psychologists or
other providers. These are essential for those who have experienced trauma or are
suffering from intense fear or anxiety.

Avoid avoidance
The only way to deal with fear is to face it. Avoiding our fears only prevents us from
moving forward—it makes us anxious. But be gentle with yourself and do only what
feels safe to you!  If you find yourself getting more panicky, take a break and find
something pleasant or comforting to notice or do. If it feels safe later, you can try to
explore your fear again, taking breaks as needed. If you find it difficult to address
chronic fears or anxiety on your own, note that therapists can be invaluable in helping
work through avoiding strategies. If you have experienced trauma, it is especially
important to work with a therapist to create a safe environment where you can face
your fear and reconstruct your memories.  

If the fear or anxiety is milder, you can try mindfulness meditationLearn more about
mindfulness techniques.  All you need to do is sit quietly and observe the present
moment. If fear or anxiety arises, recognize it. If you can, be curious. Observe the
anxiety. Notice how it feels in your body. Notice any associated thoughts.  See if you
can observe it as it is; don’t  get involved in the story, or try to get rid of it or change
it.   And when you need, take a break and turn your attention to something neutral,
like your breath or hands in your lap.  Note that anytime you feel too agitated to be
curious, it may be best to stop and open your eyes and notice objects in the room, or
take a little walk. 
“Every time your fear is invited up, every time you recognize it
and smile at it, your fear will lose some of its strength.”
Thich Nhat Hanh 

Promote positivity
Learn how to increase positive emotionsFear causes us to notice and remember
negative events, which reinforces our sense that the world is a scary place. We can
work to change that by deliberately noticing what is positive—the joy we feel when
we see someone we love, the pleasure of a sunny day, the beauty in nature, the fun of
an outing, the humor in a situation.
According to research by Barbara Fredrickson, positivity broadens our perspective—
we literally have a wider view, which offers us more options. And the more we
practice positivity, the more it builds, creating a resilience that allows us to function
even in difficult times.

Find meaning
Fear can shatter our sense of the world as we know it. Those who have experienced
trauma may also have experienced real losses that further lead them to question the
meaning of their lives. Trauma survivors also often feel guilt about what happened,
feeling, illogically, that they could have somehow prevented it, and Learn
what purpose is and how to enhance itthis shame can also contribute to doubts about
their meaning.
But whether we suffer from anxiety or trauma, it is important to rediscover a sense of
purpose. An 80-year study of factors contributing to longevity found that individuals
who return to healthy behaviors after trauma are the ones able to find meaning in the
traumatic experience and reestablish a sense of security about the world.

Healing through meaning

Logotherapy, which literally means “healing through meaning”  has been used successfully with
veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder (PSTD).

Part of the efficacy of this therapy is simply in letting people tell their stories and feel understood,
which in itself helps heal trauma. Another part is finding a way to use skills and experience,
including skills learned through trauma, in a meaningful way.  

For example a veteran who experienced homelessness because of  PSTD, may be able to find
meaning in helping others in the same situation at a homeless shelter. 

Get support
Learn more about social supportFear can also cause us to feel disconnected from
others. The longevity project also found that one of the key predictors for longevity of
people who had encountered trauma in their lives was the strength of their social
relationships.
There are many reasons for this. Friends and family can help us make a realistic
assessment of the threat. With the support of others, we feel more confident that we
can deal with issues. And physically, having a loved one close calms us and reduces
the fight or flight response.

Go for a walk in nature

Learn more about how nature enhances our wellbeing and resililenceAs the new field
of nature-based therapies shows, being in nature reduces fear and anxiety and
increases pleasant feelings. Looking at a scene of natural beauty, people describe their
feelings with words like calm, beauty, happiness, hope, and aliveness. Being
connected to nature not only makes people feel better emotionally, it reduces blood
pressure, heart rate, muscle tension, and the production of stress hormones—all
signals of stress and fear.
So when you are fighting feelings of fear or anxiety, find a park or greenspace and go
for a walk or run. In addition to the restorative effects of nature, the physical
exercise will also help your mood.
Practice self-compassion
Research has suggested – and personal stories support – that many members of racial,
ethnic, sexual, and gender minority groups experience higher levels of fear and
anxiety, due to alienation and discrimination, which sometimes includes violence.
Self-compassion can be a deeply healing practice for people experiencing this type of
ongoing threat. That's because in addition to treating yourself as you would a beloved
friend, self-compassion includes reflecting on the shared suffering of other people like
you.

In summary
Face your fears and anxieties so they don’t become debilitating. Identify ways to
create a sense of personal control or mastery in your life.

1. Practice stress reduction techniques, such as mindfulness meditation or aerobic

exercise.
2. Shift your focus to the positive emotions in daily life.
3. Work to identify meaning and purpose in your life.
4. Get support from others.
5. Go for a walk or run in a park.
6. Practice self-compassion.
And finally, even if you are challenged by fear, don’t ignore other parts of your life. It
is possible to find wellbeing in relationships and purpose even while working on
security.