FOR MY VALENTINE

(Outline)

 The life of St. Valentine (Short story)

 Defining love: (Dictionary and Philosophy)

These are the most common definitions of love. First, it is a feeling. Something that can fade anytime or
in any circumstance. Feeling is something that is shallow. Feeling can also be considered as a desire. We
love a person only because of our desire for Him/her/ even ourself. This is the reason why most of us
fail specially in loving ourself. In Philosophy, love is defined as a faculty, it is not just a feeling but a
function. It is within us. When we re born, we begin to love. A faculty is something that is permanent, it
is innate. So, in philosophy, love is not just a feeling that we have, it is not just a desire, but our capacity.
It is a function. And we cannot be a human being without that function. But the philosophical meaning
of love is now enough to grasp its deeper meaning. the word love has many meanings. And to be honest,
no one has really given a concrete definition of this word except one, God.

Looking at the life of St. Valentine, we can see how he loved the people of God. Even to the
point of his death. He was able to express love for himself and for others. There are 5 kinds of love that
we can see in St. valentine’s life. These forms of love are the true essence of what love is.

 Self-love: Do I know myself? These are questions that we should ask ourselves. Loving oneself means
knowing oneself. Knowing our weaknesses and strengths. Self-love is a kind of love that most of us
disregard. We keep on chasing love from others but forget that we have. We forget how to give back.
1. But what is self-love? Some would say “it is about praising oneself” others say “it is about
feeling happy in your own skin and with your own decision”. But these are just concepts that is a
part of self-love.
2. Self-love means that we should dig deeper. It is self-reflection. Knowing oneself as a whole. This
includes our weakness. It means we should learn to identify our weak points and accepting that
we are indeed weak at some point. And by accepting our weakness, we will learn how to cope
up. We will learn how to stand up and find strength. Self-love is not just about caring for our
skin, or our hair, or even being positive. Self-love is “being reflective”.
3. Self-love is understanding ourself. This includes actions, attitude, and morals. Being reflective
means we could answer the questions “do I know myself?” for “if we know ourselves deeply,
means that we love ourself truly.” And by loving ourselves, we begin to love others.
4. Self-love is the 1st step in giving love for others. Because we cannot give what we don’t have. If
we don’t have love for ourselves, we are also unable to give love to others. (Sharing)

 Friendship: this is a kind of love we give to persons other than us. Mostly, those surrounding us.
Have you ever asked yourself about the meaning of friendship? What is the essence of friendship?
1. “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”  — Walter Winchell
This phrase is telling us of unconditional love. Friendship is an unconditional love. It is a love we
give to others without asking something in return. It is a love that never waver no matter what.
 2. Friendship also, is a love that requires sacrifices. Every form of love requires one. But sacrifices
differ in each form. In friendship, sacrifice here means to be able to heal a person. Always lending a
helping hand.
3. Friendship is not just about pictures on facebook. It is not just about hugs and being with each other.
Friendship is more than that. It is an understanding of yourself and others. Because understanding
oneself and others create a strong bond. Understanding one another creates connection.

 Romantic: I consider this form of love as an abused form. Many people think of romance as something
to play with. Many would enter in a relationship without knowing its meaning. many would enter a
relationship because they are being pressured by their age, or by the fact that their friends are also in
one. Others want to be in a relationship because it is the trend. But romance or romantic love is
something that is deeper than infatuation. It is not just a mere feeling of being good and happy with
someone. I have observed that most heartaches are caused by relationships. And, for me, this is
happening because we don’t know the meaning of “being in a relationship”. We fail to understand that
love is not a game, so as relationships. It is not a reality show for it is real in itself. It is something mor
than just feeling good, feeling, happy, feeling secured, or lust. But what is romantic love?
1. Romantic love is grounded in the love of God. It is a form of love which is given to those we want to
be with, whom we have created a deeper connection, not just with physical, but as a whole being.
2. Romantic love is about understanding. This is why, it is better to know your partner first, before you
commit. You need to understand them, their negative and positive traits.
3. Romantic love is about acceptance and teamwork. Married or unmarried, it is important to help one
another. Become the strength of your partner. Be what the other lacks. And accept that no one is
perfect.
4. Romantic love is a commitment. Commitment is not just an ordinary agreement.it is a covenant. It is
something that we should do ourselves. Being committed means being able to choose to be
committed. It doesn’t require the will of others, but our will. We choose to commit. Commitment is
an unwritten covenant to choose the person everyday without hesitation, because you love a person
wholly.
5. Romantic love is a preparation for marriage. The goal of having a partner or a relationship is to
become one, when the time is right. Relationship is a process towards a greater goal.
6. The reason why many failed in relationship is because of not looking at the bigger picture of love.
They enter into something they don’t know anything of. Or they immediately accept someone in
their life without knowing them first.
7. Letting go is also part of love. It is love for yourself, and love for those who have hurt you.

 Family (Filial): love for family refers to bonds characterized by deep affection, respect, loyalty, and
faith. It is where people find comfort and peace.
1. Family is the outcome of romantic love. This form of love is the end goal of the process. Family
is built by a deep connection of love between two people, and continue God’s call to procreation.
2. Family isn’t only about wife, husband, and children. There is also what we call “the extended
family”. These are people who we consider as deeply connected to us. Either it is a relative or
friend.
3. Filial love is characterized by trust, understanding, and acceptance.
4. Trust is important in any form of love. We cannot love if we don’t trust. Trust means that we are
able to fully place ourself in the care of others. It means that we believe that others could never
harm us in any way.
5. Understanding. This an important characteristic of filial love. Without understanding there would
be chaos. Without understanding there would be no deep connection between the members. We
should always remember that everyone has their positive and negative side. We should always
understand that each of us has weaknesses and strengths. By understanding those things, we will
be able to form an unbroken bond of love.
 6. It is by understanding that we can accept a person to be part in our life. Acceptance is important
in the family.
 Service: What is the true meaning of service? Am I a servant of God?
Sometimes, we thought of ourself as someone who is in-service to God. We go to church and attend
Sunday masses. We help in the different programs. We join different renewal movements. But are these
enough to say that we are in-service to God? The problem in today’s generation is that most people do
things only for show. They would attend church activities so that they could post a picture, or just show
others that they are serving the church. Others would help in church activities, only if there are cameras
recording. But what is really the true essence of service?
1. The first essence is self-love. You cannot be of service to Him or anyone if you do not love yourself
first. (see self-love for reference)
2. Faith. Being in service means to have faith in oneself and to God. Service doesn’t only require one to
be loyal, but also to be faithful. Being loyal only means being a follower, but sometimes doesn’t
understand what is being required. Being faithful means to understand and do what is right. It is
about putting your elf entirely in the hands of whom you are serving.
3. Service is selfless. It can also be considered as a sacrifice of love. We give ourself to God. An no
matter what the circumstance and situation is, we still continue to do what is right and be of service
to Him.
4. Service is sacrifice. It means that when we serve, we should be able to have sacrifices if needed be.
To some, schedules. Others, relationships, etc. but sacrifice is not just mere actions of losing
something to gain something. Sacrifice is a bold decision to heed God’s call. And sacrifice in service
should be guided by the moral norms. Sacrifice is different from foolishness.
5. More love. Mother Teressa of Calcutta is urging everyone to “Put more heart to your hands.” This
mean that in everything we do, we should always put extra effort, extra care, extra understanding, or
in short more extra love.

 As I have observed, while browsing my social media account. There are certain sentences that I keep
seeing. That sentence is “naubos naak, kay ginhatag ko sa kanya ngatanan” or “walang wala na ako.” It's
pitiful to see people experience that kind of heartbreak. But that pity is not because someone left
him/her, but because he/she couldn’t see the source of love. A love that never ends. And that is God’s
love(agape). Because we are too focused in one or two forms of love, we tend to forget the source of
love. We become heartbroken because we tend to forget that there is one person who loved us first
before we loved others. It is God. And God showed us His love by sacrificing His only Son on the
Cross, so that we may be able to be saved.
 When we love, we can love others in a percentage of 100% and at the same time love ourself in a
percentage of 100%. The problem is, we keep on thinking that love, as a whole, is being divided just like
a pie. But it is not. You can love others the same way and the same time as you love yourself.
Sometimes we are being blinded by the idea that we should choose between different kinds of love.
That’s not true, because we could choose to love.
 We should always remember that the source of the love we give is God Himself. And that love will
never disappear, so as our love for ourself and others. God is always there for us. He is there, loving us
even if we are sinners. His love is unconditional. And if our love is anchored in His love, we too can
give an unconditional love for ourselves and for others.