How can I accelerate my personal growth efficiently?

Andrei Cimbru

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Obsessed with optimizing and streamlining the best output out of every
scenarioUpdated 7y
Originally Answered: How can I accelerate my personal growth?
Do the things you hate.

There is this fundamental rule that applies to human beings.

People will always work harder to avoid pain than to gain pleasure. Human beings by
default have a self preservation mode installed. We are stuck it with since the times when
we were ape men and a fun Saturday night for us meant trying to find a higher cave so the
saber tooth tiger wouldn't use us as tooth picks whenever he pleased.

This worked great and it's mostly what allowed us to think critically and find solutions to our
urgent problems back then. But since then, our conscious minds have developed and also
our perspectives have changed. One of the main features that separate us from the rest of
the animal kingdom is long term thinking.

While the worries of most animals are still locked in the stage of "what is my next meal and
how to avoid becoming someone else's next meal", we humans have developed the abilities
to create societies of individuals that share the same values or experiment if we can send
another human to Mars (because you never know).

The problem lies in the harmony between desire and action. While it is very easy to take
your hand off the stove if you are burning it's not so easy to sit down and do your
homework for 3 hours, even if that presents the possibility of a better future in the end.

Short term thinking is characterized by quick actions and instant gratification while long
term thinking is characterized by tedious routine and a reward that may or may not be
hiding beyond the horizon.

Humans, like water in a cup, move around just enough to achieve balance and take the
shape of the cup. We nudge just enough to get comfortable. And when there is an
inbalance, we just nudge a little bit more again until we are settled. It's not like the water
plans to jump out of the cup at any moment because there is the promise of a better cup
lying somewhere on the same table.

Water doesn't really care. But we humans care. And we become frustrated with our wants
and needs for the future even though we forever delay in doing the hard work and going
after our dreams.

People will always tell you: Do what you love!

But that just means being unfair with yourself.

Some people want to find true love, but then they are scared of talking with random
strangers. They hate going through that anxiety. They are just hooked on the result, but can't
go through the daily struggle.

Some people want to become famous artists and make a gazillion dollars, but then they
hate the idea of working on their art in every awake moment. Especially if they have a job,
they will always find an excuse to postpone because they are tired or something
similar. They are just hooked on the result, but can't go through the daily struggle.

Some people want to have the perfect body but then they hate the idea of going to the
gym 5 times a week and eating healthy. Screw long term thinking when you have Ben &
Jerry's Oreo flavor, F*ck yeah! They are just hooked on the result, but can't go through the
daily struggle.

Doing the things you hate is what improves yourself. It will develop your critical thinking, it
will teach you to delay gratification, it will teach you patience and also how to be grounded
in the present. Instant gratification ( aka let me finish these 3 cans of ice cream now) does
not mean being present. That is just "numbing" yourself. Allowing yourself to truly live each
day for the simple fact of knowing you are working your way towards a bigger goal one
step at a time is what will keep you grounded.

Doing things you hate will teach you how to love the process of being. You are not
anymore just a person that does, but a person that "exists" through all of his or hers daily
actions.

Completing a marathon makes us happier than eating a chocolate cake. Raising a child
makes us happier than beating a video game. Starting a small online business with your
best friend makes us happier than binge watching all seasons of Friends  in one weekend.

The irony in all these things is that all the activities above are exceedingly unpleasant and
require setting high expectations and potentially failing to always meet them. But somehow
they are some of the most meaningful moments and activities of our lives. They include
pain, struggle, anxiety and fear, yet once we’ve done them we look back and get misty-eyed
about them.

But why?

Because it gets us closer to our ideal self. It increases our self worth. Only pushing our limits
do we allow ourselves to actually see "what our real limits are".
The end results don’t define our ideal selves. It’s not finishing the marathon that makes us
happy, it’s achieving a difficult long-term goal that does. It’s not having an awesome kid to
show off that makes us happy, but knowing that you gave yourself up to the growth of
another human being that is special and that all those sleepless nights and smelly diaper
changes were worth in the end. It’s not the prestige and money from the new business that
makes you happy, it’s the process of overcoming all odds with people you care about.

True happiness is actually hard to find. Because we do just enough to not be unhappy.
Which is not necessarily the opposite of happy. It's more like barely comfortable.

Humans thrive from challenges, from difficult plots that transform the hero in a wiser and
better version of himself, from curiosity and experimenting.

How can you know what you are actually passionate about and truly love doing if you are
just comfortable with being OK with a thing you are familiar every day.

If you always avoid what you hate, you can never get better. You might feel awkward at the
beginning while learning a new skill or frustrated because you can't get your head around a
certain issue and you are sacrificing current gratification for a future pleasure, but the
conscience choice of going through the grind is the force that will help you master the
process and reap the bigger rewards at the end.

Sometimes you have to do the stuff you hate in order to learn how to love yourself
more.
1. Take more action - Growing and changing requires action the most.
Everything else is secondary. It’s about doing, ditch overthinking. Never
forget that.
2. Plan and be organized - Track your progress and stay as loyal as possible to
your schedule. Compromise in extreme scenarios. Sticking to it and being
disciplined will make things work.
3. Focus on yourself - Dedicate most of your time to improving your life. This
has to become a number one priority for you.
4. Have boundaries - Establish them for yourself and others. If you want faster
progress, certain limits need to exist. Live by your rules and introduce
others to what is allowed and what is not.
5. Leave your comfort zone - You can’t expect to grow if you don’t want to
change. You have to constantly find ways how to leave your old self behind.
Prospering is about moving forward and pushing yourself to new heights.
6. Cut people off - Be always ready to cut people out of your life. If someone’s
staying in our way and sabotaging you get rid of them immediately. You
don’t need this type of burden and pressure.
7. Work hard and work smart - Growth requires sacrifice, dedication, patience,
resilience, perseverance, and many other tough things. It’s always going to
be difficult. Great things don’t come easy.
8. Don’t compare to others - We are all different, remember that. Mind your
business. Be sure that you’ll have always something to change and fix
about yourself.
9. Live in the present - The present moment is all you have. Everything is in
the “NOW”. Don’t wait for the perfect moment, make the moves you need
to make. There’s no room for hesitation and procrastination.
10. Experiment - Expose yourself to different experiences and activities. Don’t
limit yourself. Try out stuff and figure out what works for you. Allow
yourself to meet yourself better.