Compassion Focused Therapy

1. Soothing Rhythm Technique

To practice the soothing rhythm breathing exercise, first make sure that you are sitting comfortably
with both feet flat on the floor, about shoulder’s width apart. Rest your hands on top of your legs
and close your eyes or look down at the floor. Let yourself have a gentle facial expression, like a
small smile.

Begin to focus on your breathing. Allow the air of each breath to come down into your diaphragm
and feel it move in and out as you breathe. Play with the speed of your breath until you find a
comfortable, soothing rhythm of breath. You will likely find that your soothing rhythm is about three
seconds in-breath, a slight pause, and three seconds out-breath. Continue focusing just on you’re
breathing, through your nose, and in your peaceful rhythm.

Next comes a grounding moment. Turn your attention to your body, sensing the weight of your body
resting on the chair and the floor underneath you. Let yourself feel held and supported by the chair.
Remember that it is okay for your mind to wander – just notice where it wanders, and gently guide it
back to awareness of your body. Feel the air flowing in and out of your nostrils, and simply allow
yourself to “be.”

If you find yourself stuck on noticing your breathing, let yourself focus on an object instead. You can
hold something like a smooth stone or a softball, something that feels good to hold. Focus on the
object as well as your breathing, and note the way it feels to hold the object.

When you’re ready, slowly open your eyes and bring yourself back to the present moment. A small
stretch and a deep breath can help you ready yourself for the rest of your day.

2. Creating safe place

Begin this exercise with another session of soothing rhythm breathing. Create a sense of calmness,
safety, and peace within yourself.

When your sense of calmness, safety, and peace is in place, imagine looking around yourself. What
can you see? Your safe and peaceful place may be a beautiful forest with leaves dancing on the
breeze.

It may be by the ocean, hearing the gently crashing waves rolling in and out on a soft, sandy beach. It
might be a special place for you, like your grandmother’s kitchen when you were a child or a special
vacation place.

Wherever this place is, focus on what you can feel. In your safe place, you may feel the sun on your
face, a breeze lifting your hair or caressing your cheek or the heat of a campfire burning. You may
feel sand between your toes or the ambient warmth of a cozy kitchen.

Next, think about what you can hear. You might hear rolling waves or seagulls crying at the beach.
You might hear the fire crackling or the sounds of your grandmother baking. Perhaps you hear the
soft cries of the birds in the trees or the rustling of leaves in the breeze.

Now focus on what you can smell. Maybe you smell the fresh scent of pine, the salty smell of the
ocean, the delicious scent of apple pie baking in the oven, or the smell of a crackling log fire.

Allow your body to relax – your whole body, which includes your face. Let your face show your
pleasure at being in the safe space.
Finally, imagine that your safe place actually finds joy in your presence as well. Feel how your safe
place rejoices when you arrive, and feel your own pleasure at being there mirrored back to it. Create
an emotional connection with this place, and return to it whenever you need to feel safe, loved, and
at peace.

3. Compassionate colors

This exercise also begins with your soothing rhythm breath. Bring yourself to a sense of calm and
allow yourself to simply breathe and simply be.

When you’re ready to move on, imagine a color that you associate with compassion, kindness, or
warmth. There are no rules on what color this can be – it will likely be different for everyone, it only
needs to remind you of compassion.

Imagine this compassionate color surrounding you. Once it has surrounded you, imagine it entering
through your chest, near your heart, and slowly spreading through every inch of your body.

If this imagery doesn’t call to you, try imagining a mist or a light made of this color that slowly drifts
or flows through you.

As the color permeates your body, focus on this color as one of wisdom, strength, warmth, and total
kindness. Create a facial expression to match the feelings of this color, and make sure to keep this
expression on your face as you practice this exercise.

As you imagine the color flowing through you, focus on the feeling that this color’s sole purpose is to
help you, strengthen you, and support you. Allow yourself to feel supported and loved.

4. The Compassionate Self

The compassionate self is a vital sense of self to develop, both for your compassion for others and
for yourself.

Once again, begin with your soothing rhythm breathing. When your body has slowed down a bit and
you feel ready to begin, imagine that you are a deeply compassionate person. Think of all the
qualities you would ideally have as that compassionate person.

Focus on your desires to become a compassionate person and to be able to think, feel, and act
compassionately. Imagine yourself with each of the qualities of compassion – wisdom, strength,
warmth, and responsibility.

First, imagine yourself with a wealth of wisdom. This wisdom comes from your understanding about
the nature of life, of our minds and bodies. Spend some time thinking about how much goes on
inside of us which is not our fault.

Next, when you have a grasp on how it feels to have this wisdom, imagine having a compassionate
strength. Allow your body posture to change in order to match how this compassionate strength
feels. Imagine yourself as a person that understands your own difficulties and those of others in a
non-judgmental way, and has the confidence to be sensitive and the tolerance to withstand
difficulties.

When you have added a sense of strength to your wisdom, move on to focusing on warmth. Imagine
that you are warm and kind, to yourself and to others. Create a facial expression to match, and try to
keep it on as you work through the exercise. Imagine yourself speaking to someone kindly, and note
the tone of your voice. Imagine reaching out to someone with warmth and feel what that might be
like.

Finally, imagine yourself with a sense of responsibility. Imagine that you have no interest in
condemning or blaming others or yourself and that you only want to do the best you can to help
yourself and others through a difficult situation. Hold on to your compassionate facial expression
and warmth and focus on the experience of committing yourself to a compassionate path.

Remember that it doesn’t matter if you feel you actually have these qualities or not, just imagine
that you have them. It may be difficult to imagine yourself with these qualities, but no one gains
them overnight – like anything else, being wise, strong, warm, and responsible comes with time and
practice.

5. Focusing the compassionate self on others

This exercise also requires a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Try to create a sense of being
a compassionate person, as you did in the previous two exercises. Some days this will be easier than
others, but hold on to even the slightest glimmer of feeling like a compassionate person.

Next, think about someone you care about (e.g., a partner, friend, parent, child, or even a beloved
animal). Focus on them and direct your attention towards them with three basic feelings and
thoughts:

 May you be well

Remember that it is your behavior and intentions that are important, rather than how he or she will
react. Be gentle, take your time, and allow yourself to focus on the desires and wishes you create in
yourself for this other being.

It may help to picture them smiling at you and sharing these feelings. Spend some time simply
focusing on this genuine desire of yours for the other to be happy.

6. Compassion Flowing Into Oneself: Using Memory

Memory can be a great tool for provoking and practicing compassion. Begin with your soothing
rhythm breathing and practice this for a minute or two.

Once you feel that your body has slowed down a bit, prepare for the exercise by allowing your body
posture and facial expression to become compassionate.

Feel free to play around with postures and facial expressions, but whatever expression and posture
you go with, they should be gentle.

Once you are ready, think of a time when someone was kind to you. Like the previous exercise, you
shouldn’t think of a time when someone was kind to you because you were in distress; the point of
this exercise is not to focus on your distress, but on the desire to be kind and to help others.

Put on your compassionate expression and adopt the compassionate body posture you have
cultivated as you remember the compassion you received. Recall how it felt to receive that kindness.
Spend a minute thinking about the expressions of the person who was kind to you and mimicking
them, if that helps. If you’re having trouble remembering them, imagine the person moving toward
you with a smile on their face or their head tilted to one side.

7. Compassionate Flowing Out

To try this exercise, sit somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed and begin to focus on your
breathing. Think about a time when you felt very kind and caring towards a person or a beloved
animal.

Try not to choose a time when that person or animal was very distressed because then you are likely
to focus on that distress instead of the kind, compassionate feelings for him or her.

Next, focus on the desire to help the person or animal, and the feelings of kindness that will guide
you to help. Remember that in this exercise it is your intentions that are important, not how the
person or animal responds.

Bring to mind a specific time when you felt compassionate towards him or her. Imagine yourself
expanding, as if you are becoming calmer, wise, stronger, and more responsible, and able to help
him or her.

Pay attention to your body as you remember how it felt to be kind. Spend some time expanding with
warmth in your body. Notice the genuine desire for this person to be free of suffering and to
flourish.

Spend a minute or two thinking about the tone of your voice and the kinds of things you said, or the
kinds of things you did or wanted to do to help.

Spend another minute or two on thinking about how good it felt to be kind to him or her.

Finally, focus only on your desire to be helpful and kind: the sense of warmth, feelings of expansion,
your kind tone of voice, the wisdom in your voice and your behavior. When you have finished this
exercise, you may want to take some notes about how this felt for you.