Business Academic Skills

Session 5
Using evidence
Lecturer: Anna Loseva
[email protected]
Today we will...
● Practice hedging
● Give & receive feedback on group essay drafts
● Analyse typical mistakes in the use of evidence
● Review important features of formal writing
● Get guidelines for AB submission
 Constructing
your argument
1. State your position/idea/argument/point/claim
2. Support your idea/position/claim
(Why is it so? Give evidence for each point/reason)
3. Consider alternative ideas/opposition/counterargument
Consider the COUNTER ARGUMENT
+
express your claims cautiously
1. What IS hedging?

2. Why is it necessary?

3. What happens if
hedging is not used?
1. What IS hedging? → language to show how willing you
are to agree with an idea; language to express the degree
of certainty

2. Why is it necessary in academic writing? → to allow for

debating a topic! To soften our message!
Academic Phrasebank: Cautious language
(University of Manchester resource page)
Change the sentences using hedging language to
soften the message.
Use this phrasebank as a resource.

No repeats of phrases!
#1: All Vietnamese students are shy and never
express their opinions in class.
#2: It is absolutely impossible to study
effectively on Zoom.
When you make claims, be cautious - there are certainly
people who will disagree with you!

For that reason also, SUPPORT your claims well.

 Hedging (cautious language) in Academic Writing
(EAP Foundation video)
GROUP ESSAY
first draft editing workshop
1. make sure your draft document is open for
access and commenting is enabled

2. write your essay question and your team list

on top of the document

3. label the paragraphs with their authors’ names

Peer review TASK:
1. Access the draft assigned to your team. Read the draft carefully.
2. Leave minimum 8 comments/questions from your team (signed) on the
following aspects of the draft text:

● Required essay features (intro, body, conclusion - see the checklist)

● Essay assessment criteria (critical thinking and analysis; depth, quality and use of research;
argument structure and development; referencing; language use and style)
● Sentences that need hedging

3. Repeat with the other draft you are assigned.

Notes:

(1) Don’t comment on grammar and vocabulary problems, unless these problems cause misunderstanding of ideas
(2) Don’t resolve any comments (you will need them for HW)
 ESSAY FEATURES

INTRODUCTION
❏ general statement/background info
❏ thesis/argument statement (the writer’s main claim)
❏ plan/outline of the essay

BODY
❏ All paragraphs develop the writer’s claim and match the stated essay plan
❏ Every paragraph has a clear topic sentence
❏ Every paragraph develops one idea at a time
❏ The content of every paragraph supports and develops the topic sentence
❏ Supporting sentences of each paragraph include outside sources
❏ Every paragraph includes independent analysis of the outside sources
❏ Every paragraph has a clear concluding sentence

CONCLUSION
❏ summary of main points
❏ thesis restatement + final statement (evaluation)
❏ subjective perspective based on evidence
 Fail Pass Credit Distinction High Distinction
Criteria
(0-49) (50-64) (65-74) (75-84) (85-100)
Highly developed analytical skills.
Merely described the issue under Some evidence of analytical skills, Relatively good analytical skills. Essay offers a complete and objective
Critical Thinking and Merely regurgitated
examination. Poor or no attempts to offer but a dominant tendency to Different perspectives are considered, the picture, the problem is thoroughly
Analysis information.
an evaluation. describe. The view is biased. ideas are mostly objectively evaluated. evaluated and independent conclusions
are reached.
30% total 0-9% 10-15% 16-20% 21-26% 27-30%
Satisfactory amount of valid Extensive research of proper academic
Research: Very little or no Limited amount of valid research/ analysis Overall, good amount of valid research/
research/ analysis of references. quality. Evidence is skillfully integrated
Depth, Quality, Use of evidence of research in of references. Unskillful attempts to analysis of references. Evidence is
Some of the evidence supports and effectively supports and develops
Evidence the work. integrate evidence. properly integrated and supports claims.
claims. claims.
25% total 0-11% 12-16% 17-19% 20-22% 23-25%
Disjointed, poorly
Relatively coherent but still
Argument Structure structured. Argument poorly constructed with some A coherent line of argument but not A sustained coherent and logical line of
difficult to understand in some
and Development Disconnected coherence. thoroughly sustained. argument.
sections.
paragraphs.
25% total 0-11% 12-16% 17-19% 20-22% 23-25%
Very little or no Identified and referenced many of
Identified and referenced most of the Identified and referenced accurately all
Referencing referencing; incorrect Not consistently referenced. the sources used, but still some
sources used. sources used.
referencing. missing.
10% total 0 1-3% 4-5% 6-8% 9-10%
Unintelligible
Poor grammar and vocabulary expression. Satisfactory grammar and Good grammar and vocabulary, very few Sound grammar and vocabulary.
Language Use and expression;
Academic writing style is seriously vocabulary, occasional errors. errors. Writing mostly follows the formal Academic writing style is precisely
Style unacceptable numerous
compromised. Inconsistent style. style. followed.
errors.
10% total 0-4% 5% 6-7% 8% 9-10%
 How to be nice?
→ Watch your language and tone!
→ Express how you feel/what you experience as a reader.
“You SHOULD do this and that” →
Are you sure that…. is the best idea?
I wonder if…
What does this mean exactly?
I’m confused here because...
 Peer feedback
Team A task: Outlines D & E
Team B task: Outlines E & F
Team C task: Outlines F & G
Team D task: Outlines G & A
Team E task: Outlines A & B
Team F task: Outlines B & C
Team G task: Outlines C & D
 Quick feedback for all drafts
1) Remove all headings to read your essay text as a cohesive whole
2) No personal language, please (avoid I, we, you)
3) Topic and concluding sentences of paragraphs should NOT
have evidence; only your own point (introduced + concluded)
4) Introduction and conclusion should be comparable in size to body
paragraphs
5) Do not start paragraphs with linking words (however, moreover,
firstly, etc.)
6) Do not begin sentences with conjunctions (AND, BUT, OR,
BECAUSE)
7) Fix your citations
➔ do not resolve any comments until you receive my feedback
➔ up to you what to do with the classmates’ feedback - but
Anna’s feedback is VERY important ;)
➔ Only groups that left at least 8 comments on the drafts will
receive Anna’s feedback
Your own writing = your own voice!

Image source: https://www.melodyvaughan.com/

➢ By USING EVIDENCE WELL

➢ By CITING YOUR SOURCES

Avoid plagiarism by using evidence well!
1. Minimize the use of direct quotes

2. Paraphrase skillfully

3. Analyze the evidence and let the reader

hear YOUR voice
Steps to PARAPHRASE effectively
1. READ as many times as needed until you understand
the meaning fully.
2. Take notes on the idea from memory.
3. Write it in your own words without looking at the
source.
4. Check that the meaning is the same.
USING EVIDENCE
!!! Using a source ⍯ taking quotations
out of it

A source can…
- help you to explain and define
- support your idea with with examples/
statistics
Image source: https://www.bookologymagazine.com - contrast your idea
- elaborate on your idea
 Your ANALYTICAL process looks like this:
(idea from a source)

WHAT do they say?

(understand the idea)

SO WHAT? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

How does that apply to MY argument?
 Avoid plagiarism by citing your sources!
❖ CITE correctly
❖ CITE EVERY TIME
❖ Include all cited sources in the
references
Know the referencing ❏ APA
style that is required! ❏ MLA
Use WSU library ❏ Harvard
resources to support
you ❏ Vancouver
❏ Chicago
In-text citations
 What are the problems with this use of evidence?

"If you are not paying for it, you become the

product." (Scott Goodson, founder of

StrawberryFrog, March 5th, 2012).

 What are the problems with this use of evidence?
According to Nick Miles, the head of international grocery research
organization IGD further explained their popularity: “Convenience stores in
Vietnam have become popular destinations for young consumers to shop
and hang out, as the stores provide them with an air-conditioned
environment, well-organized shelves and seating areas, high quality
products and, in some stores, free Wi-Fi. It is also easier to get licenses for
stores under 500 square meters, which is why retailers have been
expanding to gain market share” (Roberts, 2017).
 What are the problems with this use of evidence?
Moreover, the government had plans to reduce the percent of cash payment
in e-commerce to five percent in 2025 (Vietnamese Prime Minister, 2020).
The result of their solution is the number of mobile-based transactions in the
first nine months of 2017 is 90 million, an increase of 93 percent in the same
period in 2016 (J.P. Morgan, 2019). Momo, Zalopay has become the most
popular payment applications in Vietnam, with nearly 10 million users (Duc,
2019).
 What are the problems with this use of evidence?

Customer service is not an interaction between a customer and a

representative of the product or service’s company, but according
to Mitchell and Julia, it is “a critical factor in ensuring buyer
satisfaction and encouraging repeat business” (Grant, Kagan and
Walsh).
Questions to ask yourself when working with the evidence:

1) Is the evidence relevant to our argument? What is the

purpose of this evidence exactly?
2) Is it incorporated well into the paragraph/sentence?
3) Is it analysed by us?
4) Is reporting language used correctly? Is it too repetitive?
5) Is the information properly cited in the text + presented
in the reference list?
TO-DO LIST for Session 6, Part 1

● Submit annotated bibliography

 Annotated bibliography submission by Session 6
1. One submission per group
2. Follow the formatting guidelines:
Font, font size: Times New Roman, 12
1.5 line spacing, a space between paragraphs
APA 7th edition formatted title page
3. Specific essay question on the title page
4. APA7 formatted reference information for each source
5. Group assignment cover sheet - filled out!
6. For each source, label the student in charge of this
contribution (in brackets at the end of the annotation)
No contribution to the annotated bibliography →
individual score ZERO for the AB →
course failure (missing assessment)
Summary:
❏ Refers to the authors by using reported language (A and B examine… The
authors argue that… A and B conclude that…)
❏ Uses present tense when referring to the authors and past tense when
describing the research itself
❏ Details the purpose of research, how it was conducted, and its main findings
Check our assessment rubrics for AB before submission!
 TO-DO LIST for Session 6, Part 2
1) Read for QUIZ: Unistep Chapter 8 p.232-240 + APA7 Reference
elements file (also on Canvas, in the APA folder)
Read for CLASS: Braun et al. Module 14
2) HW5 (individual): Draft assessment video.
Step 1: Conduct an assessment of the first draft of your group essay. In your video (3-5
mins), do all of the following:
a) evaluate the feedback you have received from groupmates & Anna
b) apply essay assessment criteria (uploaded on Canvas) to your draft; then give your first
draft a grade
c) assess the weaknesses and strengths of the first draft version of your group essay
Step 2: Post the video in HW discussion group. Watch your groupmates’ videos and leave
at least 1 comment noting similarities/differences in your assessment.
TO-DO LIST for Session 6, Part 3
● Second *much improved* draft of group
essay that looks like the final submission (cover sheet, title
page, essay text)

● Draft version of the APA-formatted

reference list at the end of the document (use
the APA formatting resources folder on Canvas
for support)
 Thank you
and
see you next week!
[email protected]