Space exploration requires vast sums of money.

Is the amount of money spent on space research justifiable?

Could the money be better spent?

Some opine that earning a lucrative income plays the most essential role when it comes to
seeking a job. I firmly disagree with this statement because high salaries are often
associated with great pressure and many prefer job positions that assist them to balance
their work and lives.

The main motivation behind my belief is that being highly paid invariably leads to stressful
lifestyles. Most businesses aim to generate great profits and maximize their revenues which
means that their employees need to create as many valuesmuch value as possible. In this
way, many workers tend to suffer from mental disorders as a result of the heavy workload
those with high salaries have to deal with. Needless to say, medical treatment expenses are
highly exorbitant, therefore, these individuals potentially face a significant financial burden
regardless of their income.

Another key driver that supports my view is that leading a stress-free lifestyle seems ought
to be the top priority for the most part. It is argued that citizens nowadays are more likely to
understand the importance of their physical and mental well-being, then consequently,
intense occupations or employment positions would not fit their needs. At the same time,
they adore working environments where teammates are hospitable and willing to assist as
well as motivate each other. In turn, people are able to avert feelings of being stressed or
deeply depressed, ending up with job satisfaction.

In conclusion, I am utterly in favour of the assertion that an appealing salary is not the most
pivotal element when choosing jobs since these usually put workers under huge pressure
while work-life balance is proven to be the preference. In my view, as long as the salaries
are not too lowat an acceptable level, people should always prioritize their health and
personal lives.

Estimated
Grade

Task 8 250 -320 words

Response
 all parts of the topic are responded to well

 all parts of the question are responded to well

 main ideas are clear

 explanation/examples of main ideas are clear

Cohesion 8  good overall structure

and
Coherence  the first paragraph clearly introduces the essay

 topic sentences introduce paragraphs well / clear central topic

 paragraph development is logical

Vocabulary 8  appropriate word choices and control of word endings/forms

 repetition is avoided

 spelling is correct

Grammar  articles (a, an, the)

8

 sentence structures are correct

 Punctuation

Overall 8

As many values as possible sounded very poor and was perhaps the biggest
language issue in this essay.

As long as salaries are not too low – nothing wrong with this but the language
used really was very basic and not up to the standard of the rest of the essay.

Otherwise – good work.

In some countries owning a home rather renting one is very important for
people
Why might this be the case?
Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In many sections of the world, homeownership is of paramount importance to individuals. This

is mainly because of financial and psychological security, and I believe this can be either
beneficial or detrimental.
I prefer you just introduce what the essay is about without mentioning the actual points for the
first question [note that you don’t really do this for the second question, which makes it a bit
unbalanced] the last sentence is something like “This essay discusses the reasons for this
phenomenon on and why I believe it has beneficial and detrimental outcomes”

There are two main rationales for the preference of people possessing their own properties. The
primary one can be found in a sound form of investment that enables families to have fiscal
stability. This is because real estate prices often increase or even surge over the long term. [So
how does this lead to fiscal stability? By avoiding fluctuating rent prices?] Furthermore, owning
a house can offer family members peace of mind since those renting accommodation can be
evicted if they can no longer afford the payment. This stable base allows people to work and
enjoy their harmonious lives without such financial concern.
1. My guess about the first point seems to be answered by the second point which leads me
to the thought that is really just one idea here. Fiscal stability which leads to peace of
mind all seems to be the same idea.

In my view, this phenomenon seems profitable for the owners but can also put them under
pressure. On the one hand, many investors or just ordinary homeowners have become
increasingly wealthy due to the surge of their possessions’ prices. It has been widely proven that
real estate investment can result in massive profits generated over time. On the other hand, there
is the potential fiscal strain when some individuals have to get a loan to possess such properties.
They might end up losing their houses to the bank if encountering unfavorable incidents such as
Covid 19 pandemic, which has rendered many workers jobless.

In conclusion, people prefer purchasing their own houses to leasing them due to fiscal and
mental stability. Nevertheless, I believe this can both benefit and pose a threat to their finances at
the same time. Therefore, people should balance their budget and ensure that they only buy
houses when saving sufficient amounts to avoid potentially monetary issues.

Estimated
Grade
Task 7-8 250 -320 words
Response
 all parts of the topic are responded to well

 all parts of the question are responded to well

  explanation/examples of main ideas are clear

I have the feeling that you try to do too much in this essay would not enough words. You
need to write more in the body paragraphs to fully develop your main ideas.

It’s tough to cover both sides of the argument in paragraph 3 for it to question essay and
on the whole I favour just saying it’s positive or negative in giving two reasons… You can
do what you’ve done but again it needs more words to fully extend your main ideas.
Either need to write more in total or write more concisely and develop your ideas more.
Development is key to a high score here

In paragraph 2 it really just seem like one idea but perhaps there could be two

Four paragraph 3 since the reasons all seem positive you could just say it’s a positive
outcome and forget about the negative aspects
Cohesion 8  good overall structure
and
Coherence  the first paragraph clearly introduces the essay
this could be better
 topic sentences introduce paragraphs well / clear central topic

main ideas were not developed well enough for nine

Vocabulary 8 appropriate word choices / control of word endings/forms
main ideas are not explained sufficiently well for me to give a 9 for vocabulary…
Language should be used to convince me of the points you are making
 repetition is avoided

 spelling is correct

Grammar 8 articles (a, an, the)

sentence structures are correct

Overall 8 The essay just seemed a bit underpowered and unconvincing. You need to develop your
ideas more and this probably means writing a longer essay. Maybe just another sentence
in each of the body paragraphs.
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way.
Why is this?
Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many firms invariably highlight novel aspects of their merchandise. In my view, this is
because of higher revenues generated though this seems to be a deleterious
phenomenon which causes potential harm to customers.

Companies advertising their goods new in certain manners often create high profits. As
Following human nature, most people tend to favor new products or items with new
features as they might be better than the previous ones. Many marketers comprehend
such customer insights and strive to capture their customers’ attention by adding new
functions or a new look to their commodities. Those succeeding in doing so can stand
out in the fiercely competitive market and then increase sales significantly.

Nevertheless, I believe if many businesses keep using this strategy, consumers would
will be the victims of dissatisfaction. Since numerous brands often promote the same
products, people would be further overwhelmed with an excessive number of novel
features that are often exaggerated or not as versatile as advertised. For example,
household appliances are currently introduced to perform multitasks; however, they
tend to underperform and are not effectively all-rounded as expected. This renders
customers disappointed and creates a detrimental trend followed by those valuing
profits over customer satisfaction.

In conclusion, companies focusing on new aspects of the same products is mainly due
to commercial purposes. I truly believe this is a harmful trend that results in negative
customer experiences. Therefore, enterprises should instead focus on their products'
genuine and practical functions to develop sustainably or bring true values to the
public.

My feelings about this essay:

1. paragraph 2 seems to have a positive reason of adding new functions and sets
the reader up to expect that this is a positive outcome
2. paragraph 3 breaks this expectation and says that it’s a negative outcome. I like
it when the response to the two questions fits better. If paragraph 3 is going to be
negative then it would be better to have paragraph 2 just focusing on the reason
that companies want to attract people’s attention only and leave out the part
about adding new features. This then sets up paragraph 3 to be about how
consumers are being filled by marketers and there are just purchasing the same
products.
3. Note how the conclusion mention same products… They are not the same
products according to paragraph 2

these points are fairly picky and I’m pointed out as the reasons you not getting
nine!

Estimated
Grade
Task 8 250 -320 words
Response
  all parts of the topic are responded to well

 all parts of the question are responded to well

 explanation/examples of main ideas are clear

I like it when the two questions fit together better

Cohesion 8  good overall structure
and
Coherence  the first paragraph clearly introduces the essay

 topic sentences introduce paragraphs well / clear central topic

Paragraph 3 surprised me when it said that the situation was negative and made me
wonder about deposit with aspect of adding new features to the products that were
mentioned in paragraph 2
Vocabulary 8 appropriate word choices / control of word endings/forms

 repetition is avoided

 spelling is correct

Grammar 8 articles (a, an, the)

sentence structures are correct

You want a first conditional here

if many businesses keep using this strategy, consumers would will be the
victims of dissatisfaction.
Overall 8 My advice changes on what scores someone needs or wants.

If your aim is to get a solid eight you don’t really need to change anything. If you want to
give yourself a chance of 8.5 or nine I suggest you start trying to write a bit more. Have
two main ideas for each body paragraph. I’m not a big fan of writing too much because
that puts you under pressure to finish and to have time to proof read your essay.
However, there is research that shows that longer essays get higher scores, when they
are written by talented writers. The reasoning for this could be that examiners get more
of a sample to work with. If it’s longer I can see more development of your ideas and
instances of vocabulary and grammar and this could lead to an ability to decide on a high-
level score. Against this argument is that if you write more there may be more mistakes
in this could lead to your score going down. If you are happy with eight don’t change
things… If you want to have a shot at a higher score it’s worth taking the risk of a longer
essay.
The news media plays a very important part in the modern world.
Why is the news media so important?
Is its influence generally positive or negative?

The news media has become almost indispensable in this contemporary world. This
essay will justify the paramount importance of such media and explain why I believe
their impact is detrimental at large. [good]
1. I suggest you get rid of at large… I don’t like it and there’s something that smells
bad about it… Maybe it’s archaic or something I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem
like something natural to me

The news media is crucial because of distinctive rationales [zero results on google…”
crucial for many reasons”. Foremost, it is the most up-to-date information that greatly
affects viewers’ lives. Based on the the current affairs that are informed, individuals or
even the whole community can contemplate the next actions following those events. For
example, only by publicizing the real-time situations in Ukraine, can the international
aid be provided on time, which determines the survival of many citizens [I can’t clearly
see the connection here given that the aid isn’t delivered by the media. Maybe it’s the
source of aid that you’re referring to… That when people see the news they feel
compelled to help]. Furthermore, the prominence of news media is closely correlated
with the prosperity of advertising. Through advertisements attached to shown in videos,
relevant websites or physical newspapers, more commodities and services have been
are being promoted, which in turn boosts sales of innumerable firms as a whole.
… The second idea could be introduced better “furthermore, the news media plays a
vital role in advertising goods and services”

[One potential issue with this essay is that the reasons seem positive… But then you
write the next paragraph as though it’s something negative only. I think you have a
better essay if you write a paragraph about why it is positive. Based on what you said in
paragraph 2. I like it for these types of essays when paragraph 2 and three fit together
well.
Idea one [citizens being up-to-date] is positive because it leads to a more informed
citizen… Then say how this is positive.
Idea two [advertising]; is positive because it leads to companies making more profits
and consumers being more informed about the latest the latest products that are
available that can help them with

Nevertheless, the gaining popularity of news media can generate deleterious outcomes
in general. The first negative can be found in potential chronic addiction, which is
constituted caused by over-exposure to endless topics, ranging from sports and
entertainment to politics. When the public devote most of their time, whether it be
leisure or working time, to watching news, their overall work performance as well as
family time can be vastly undermined. Moreover, many people might become victims of
the misleading nature of the media. Owing to the reliance on news mediums, many
might be easily fed with falsehoods and pure speculation, ultimately being indoctrinated
to meet the given agenda.
In conclusion, the crucial role of the news media rests on its merits in terms of the up-
to-the-minute information and commercial values. However, its influence on the masses
tend tends to be deleterious on a grand scale as they easily lead to long-term addiction
and misinformation. In my view, in order to reap the benefits of the news media, people
have to use them in moderation and be cognizant of the potential threats.

There is a slight issue here that paragraph 2 has been summarised as merits… Whereas it should be
responding to the question regarding reasons. I guess it’s both reasons and merits. I guess you’re saying
that not only its deleterious but that the drawbacks outweigh the merits… You could make this a little
bit clearer by emphasising outweigh.

Grade

Task 7-8 250 -320 words

Response
 all parts of the topic are responded to well

 all parts of the question are responded to well

 explanation/examples of main ideas are clear

I think it would be better and safer to have a closer connection between question one
and question two…. Paragraph 2 can outline the reasons and then paragraph 3 can
explain why this is positive.

In the end if I pieced together different parts of your essay it’s a little difficult to see
whether you’re saying it’s positive or negative
Cohesion and 7-8  good overall structure
Coherence
 the first paragraph clearly introduces the essay

 topic sentences introduce paragraphs well / clear central topic

There is an issue regarding paragraph determine whether this is just covering reasons or
also advantages… Especially when I read the conclusion
Vocabulary 8 appropriate word choices / control of word endings/forms

 repetition is avoided

 spelling is correct

Grammar 8  articles (a, an, the)

 sentence structures are correct

Overall 7.5-8 I encourage you to take a risk-free approach to these tasks. There is much less risk
involved if paragraph 3 is about advantages… Then you have an essay that’s clearly about
reasons and advantages rather than reason/merits and disadvantages. Have a think
about it.
In some countries owning a home rather renting one is very important for people
Why might this be the case?
Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

It is argued that purchasing new houses is far more essential for many individuals than just
leasing them. This essay explains why this phenomenon is occurring and why I believe it is a
detrimental trend.

The popularity of owning a house can be attributed to a number of reasons. The main motivation
behind it can be seen in long-term financial benefits as the price of real estate tends to increase
over time. In this way, homeowners can generate great profits by this form of investment, and
many might even become tremendously rich and wealthy if they can sell for the best price.
Another cogent point is that owning their own properties would foster a sense of fulfillment. Since
properties would be often considered as tangible evidence of success, people would be
motivated to work or study harder so as to attain more, and as a result, they can lead happy lives
in the long run.

Notwithstanding the aforementioned considerations, I strongly suppose advocate that it is a

negative development. First, it can cause monetary problems since money is required for not
only highly exorbitantly priced houses but also other bare necessities or indispensable aspects
such as food, education of people’s offspring, or healthcare service. Then it would be utterly
stressful when people have to work for extended periods so as to provide for all the monetary
needs. Furthermore, if the tendency becomes ubiquitous, there would be more homeless
individuals than ever. To be more specific, houses and apartments would be less likely to be
available for rent and those who are not able to buy new ones would end up with no home.

In conclusion, potential revenues stemming from trading in real estate and the sense of
accomplishment are the main causes of the situation. I completely advocate against this trend as
it would also lead to huge financial problems and a lack of accommodation. In my view, people
should base their purchase or rental decisions in terms of whether they ought to buy or rent a
house according to their budget as well as their top priorities.

338 words

Estimated
Grade

Task 8 250 -320 words

Response 338
 all parts of the topic are responded to well

 all parts of the question are responded to well

 main ideas are clear

 explanation/examples of main ideas are clear

Cohesion 8  good overall structure
and
Coherence  the first paragraph clearly introduces the essay

 topic sentences introduce paragraphs well / clear central topic

 paragraph development is logical

Vocabulary 7  appropriate word choices and control of word endings/forms

 repetition is avoided

 spelling is correct

Grammar 8  articles (a, an, the)

 sentence structures are correct

 Punctuation

Overall 7.5

Here an eight-word reduction was achieved whilst the main meaning was
retained. This highlights a great lesson in the need to write in a succinct manner.
Try to use your extensive vocabulary to say more using less words.