A SiMPLE GUiDE TO

CREATE THE LiFE

YOU WANT FOR YOURSELF!

BY - S I D H I K A G O E N K A
 Sidhika goenka

SiDHiKA GOENKA
Anger Management and Parenting Expert,
Mind Transformation Coach and Psychologist

Here is my quick story

In my early teens, I was extremely shy, nervous, and conscious. I could not raise my hand up for
anything. I was an average student and was often filled with self-doubt, self-criticism, and
under-confidence. Even though my parents left no stone unturned to bring me up to the best
of their abilities, I was still fearful and had quite a low self-esteem. My parents followed all the
rules: never compared me to my siblings, gave me lots and lots of love and affection, kept
complimenting me, and encouraging me but I was still not assertive.

So, what did they do wrong?

Nothing

Maybe that’s just how I was. However, as I grew up, I shifted quite a few schools, learnt to make
new friends and discover my strengths. You won’t believe it, my strength lied in connection and
communication. The environment around me pushed me to talk more and more and stand up
for myself. In the 11th grade, I went to a boarding school Mahindra United World College of
India, Pune. That’s when I found my voice. The IB required me to participate and lead. After a
lot of coaxing and pushing from my teachers, I finally started raising my hand and talking in
class. When I went to the United States for my undergraduate degree, I got a lot of leadership
opportunities. This pushed me to become more confident, speak and lead more. However,
what I want to tell you today is that I chose all of this. I chose this life. At 21, I was an assistant
professor teaching 21-year-olds educational psychology. I created it. I manifested it, through
my thoughts and my actions.

01
CONNECT WiTH ME :
 Let me tell you how.

When I was at the end of my undergraduate journey, I applied for my Master’s in counselling
psychology. Once I got in, I applied for a teaching position. From the day I applied, I kept telling
myself that I have got the job. I worked hard for it and prepared myself as a teacher to speak
fluently and confidently but I also kept suggesting to my mind that I have got the job. I surround-
ed myself with lots of positive energy and boosted my confidence. I envisioned myself in the
classroom, entering the classroom wearing a purple sweater and black trousers into a room full
of students. I did this for about 2 weeks.
2 weeks later I got an email that I had been rejected because only PhD students usually got
this job. Even after the rejection, I wasn’t convinced. Something in my mind kept telling me that
teaching was my calling and that I would make it. Again, I kept trying to attract this job, kept
telling myself that I would do a great job as I am a really passionate teacher. Day and night, I
would imagine that I had gotten the teaching position and kept feeling the happiness that it
gave me.

After a week I got an email saying that the PhD student who was supposed to get the job had
an emergency and I would have to join immediately.

This miracle changed my life.

This is when I realized the true power of my thoughts. This marked the beginning of my journey
as a mind transformation coach. If I can make my thoughts come true, so can you. This made
me that I was truly the creator of my destiny.

02
CONNECT WiTH ME :
 Thoughts become things

Frequently, we must keep our thoughts in check by examining and evaluating our thoughts.
Is what you are thinking what you really want?
Often, we will catch ourselves thinking negative things and then making them come true.
“I knew I was going to have a bad day today”
“I knew that friend would cheat me”
“I knew I would fail the interview”
“What if I fail the interview?”

Through all these questions we set ourselves for failure.

We do this to ourselves, and we also predict failure for our kids and others.
A positive mind finds opportunity in everything, while a negative mind finds faults in every-
thing. Luckily there are a handful of indicators when we are having the “wrong” thoughts and
ways that we can correct them to manifest what we really want in life.

Here are some indicators to assess whether you are spending energy in positive thoughts
or negative thoughts: Assess whether any of these statements may be true for you:
1. You spend too much time doing the things you shouldn’t be doing
2. You don’t want to leave your comfort zone
3. You find yourself complaining a lot
4. You find yourself blaming your luck a lot
5. You feel like you don’t know your purpose in life
6. You feel drained out
7. You don’t feel that you are good enough
8. You spend too much time in “what if” thoughts
9. You spend too much time in “Always” and “Never” thoughts
10. You feel people should love and respect you more
03
CONNECT WiTH ME :
11. You are excessively sensitive to others’ criticism and comments
12. You constantly think negative and are unable to think positive
13. You constantly worry about the future
14. You hold onto grudges and cannot forgive the past
15. You keep predicting failure

If any of these statements resonate with you, chances are that you need to think about the life
you are creating for yourself. These are red signals that tell us that we are living in the past and
that we are controlled by our negative minds. If we keep putting our energy and feeding our
negative thoughts, we will never be able to create the life we want for ourselves.

Many times, our biggest roadblock is our own thought process.

Are you willing to alter your thought process to create the life you want for yourself and others?
Are you willing to make charge of your life and focus only on what you want and totally ignore
what you don’t want?

Remember what you focus on GROWS!

What do you want to grow in your life today?
Love, Happiness, Joy?
Guilt, Regret, Unhappiness?
The choice is yours! Make the one that fits best for you!
The smallest change that you make in your thought process can have the biggest impact in
your life! So, start today!!
What does it mean to be in charge of your thoughts?
04
CONNECT WiTH ME :
Your mind is the most powerful tool that you have. You can use it to your benefit or against your-
self. The choice is yours! If you can control your mind, and the food that you give your mind, you
can control your mood.

Your mind has a gazillion thoughts racing every day. Your thoughts affect your perception, your
outlook and then your reality. Your thoughts are your reality!

Let’s say 70,000 thoughts enter our minds every day. Out of those even if you can introduce 100
positive statements to yourself every day you will be able to control your mind.
Choose to be the person who is actively, consciously and intentionally thinking your thoughts.
Control your thoughts and become the master of your mind.

Once you start changing your thoughts, automatically your feelings and your mood will
change. When your feelings change the outcome also gives you more peace of mind.

For example:

If I choose to begin my day with thoughts such as,

“I am powerful”
“I am focused”
“I can control my thoughts”
“I will control my day and make it beautiful!”
Most likely I will start feeling positive, happy, enthusiastic, and energetic to make a beautiful day
for myself. Then, more often than not my day will become beautiful and happy because I
choose to control my moods and remain unaffected by external situations.
Now even if something doesn’t go my way because I chose my positive thought in the morn-
ing, I will still strive to make my day productive and happy because I realize that the choice is
mine!

05
CONNECT WiTH ME :
 How do you know that you are in charge of
your thoughts?
Here is a checklist that tells you that you are in charge of your life, and you are consciously
choosing helpful and happy thoughts:
Signs that you are consciously choosing your happy thoughts:

1. I keep reminding myself of the bigger picture

2. I am clear on my priorities
3. I choose my battles
4. I don’t get upset about what everybody says- I decide what I want to hear and what I
want to ignore
5. I do not easily accept unhelpful and negative thoughts
6. I practice mindfulness and meditation every day
7. I am grateful for the people in my life
8. I thank the universe, my surroundings and the people around me on a regular basis
9. I compliment people everyday
10. I know my strengths and I use them daily
11. I laugh and smile at every opportunity I get
12. I try to live in the moment as much as possible
13. Every time I get a negative thought, I snap out of it and replace it with a positive thought
14. I stay away from negative media and don’t let it affect me
15. I look at the mirror and talk to myself with positive affirmations

Life is so much better when you are thinking positive thoughts and you know you are in charge
of your life! If you agreed with these statements it means that you make a conscious effort
every day to stay happy and this, in turn, helps you reach your goals faster!
06
CONNECT WiTH ME :
 You know the secret to attracting success and happiness is to do, think and do things that
bring success and happiness. The more you do it, the more of it will come! The emotion that
you dwell in most, the body gets used to and gives you that the most. SO if you are thinking sad
thoughts, and creating sad feelings and emotions your body craves more sadness and that
becomes your reality.

The happier thoughts that you create, regardless of your surroundings, the happier you are,
your body craves more happiness and happiness becomes a habit!!

Even when I was at the lowest point in my life, knowing that I had the power to change just
through my thoughts, changed everything for me!!

4 powerful practices to be in charge of

your life
Mastering your thoughts is the toughest thing to do, but once you have done it you feel invinci-
ble!! Even though it is the hardest thing to do, once you reap the benefits from it you will realize
how rewarding and empowering it really is. If you are reading my eBook, you probably have
understood the importance of choosing your thoughts and becoming your master, but you
don’t know how to implement it yet! The quality of your thoughts determines the quality of your
life so to enhance the quality of your life, jump into the practices of choosing healthy, wealthy,
and wise thoughts!

Here are 4 daily practices to become a master of your mind and improve your thoughts, your
mood and eventually your life! They can move you from feeling like a victim to becoming the
creator of your own destiny! The shift is in the way you think, feel and manage your life, so
please read these 4 practices and make the change NOW!!
07
CONNECT WiTH ME :
 PRACTICE #1

FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL:

We often spend our time and energy blaming other people, and situations. We focus
on what is not in our control and spend little time on what truly is in our control. We may
blame COVID, the weather etc. for not getting out and meeting friends, but we may
very rarely take onus of our own fears. Choose to spend energy on only your own
thoughts and behaviors because truly that is all that you can control. You cannot
control anyone else’s thoughts, behaviors or actions towards you! So spend your
precious time and energy on what you can control and make that beautiful. Become
mindful of your emotions and choose to set happiness time aside where every day you
spend a certain amount of time just laughing, smiling and being happy.
DO not give away your power. Don’t give others the power to make you unhappy, don’t
let their comments ruin or make your day. Choose to stay neutral by being confident of
who you are. Focus on your actions and let everything else be. Every cause has an
effect as science says, so whatever you do will have an effect on your life- good and
bad.
Stop dwelling on negative thoughts and adopt a millionaire mindset! See the glass as
half-full and enjoy the moment.

Remember: Thoughts generate emotions, emotions generate actions, actions

generate results!

08
CONNECT WiTH ME :
 PRACTICE #2

FIND YOUR OWN STOP SIGN:

When you are getting out of hand with your thoughts, choose to stop! You can actually
choose to visualize your own red colour sign with STOP written on it. Say it loud, when
you feel you are getting swayed to negative emotions. With practice, you will be able to
tell yourself to stop! Imagine the stop sign, breathe deeply and come back to the
present moment. This takes daily practise but once you have mastered this, you will
truly be in charge of your thoughts. When you see a negative thought sweeping in, tell
yourself to stop immediately before the ripple effect is created and you get trapped in
the cycle of negative thoughts. STOP yourself after the first negative thought, take a
deep breath and either divert your mind or replace the negative thought with an
extremely positive one of gratitude and love.

For example: If I catch myself thinking about my friend who didn’t involve me with the
other friends and I felt ignored. As soon as the first negative thought comes I must sotp
myself and remind myself of all the happy moments I have spent with that friend and
how nice she makes me feel. This may take practice but once you can do this, you will
be able to take yourself out of any negative situation. This way even a negative situa-
tion you will emerge a winner from and you will be happier. Once you are happier, you
will attract more friends in your life!

Remember, not to take things personally. Always remember, it's never about you.
When people criticize you or reject you, more often than not it has more to do with
them, their own values and priorities than it does with you. Say this to yourself again
and again “THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME” and consciously choose to release yourself
from all the negative comments and set yourself free!
09
CONNECT WiTH ME :
 PRACTICE #3

USE WORDS AS NUTRITION FOR YOUR MIND

We are extremely conscious of our food habits, and we realise that good nutrition for
the body is extremely important for our health. Consequently, nutrition is as important
for our mind as well, and the only healthy food for our mind is happy words that
become healthy thoughts. Hence, words and images that we allow to enter our mind is
extremely fundamental. The easiest way to monitor what you feed your mind is to stop
watching negative things on social media that may irk you. Eliminate any kind of nega-
tivity that may bother you, even if it may be deleting your social media account from
your mobile phone. Stop giving your mind anything that causes jealousy, insecurity or
negativity in your mind. Reevaluate the thoughts that you are feeding yourself. Whatev-
er you consume through images, words, or actions has the same effect to your
thoughts as food has on your body. So next time, you are tempted to say something
negative, or hear something hurtful, choose to stay away from it. Just like if you have 3
burgers, you cannot escape the weight gain or the lethargy that it may cause. Similarly,
the more you delve into gossip or saying hurtful things to others you will not be able to
escape the negativity that you get from them.

A great way to consciously give your mind healthy nutrition is to use AFFIRMATIONS.
Affirmations are the best way to remind yourself, on an hourly basis to be the master of
your mind. Every hour say to yourself whatever you want to create for yourself. Tell
yourself, “You are powerful”, “You are beautiful” and see how this nutritious makes you
feel amazing. You can also surround yourself with positive quotes, written goals, and
happy pictures to be positive. Use these as little reminders to stop the spiraling of
negative thoughts and to stay on track with your chosen thoughts.
10
CONNECT WiTH ME :
 PRACTICE #4

Learn to count your blessings twice

Look around and remind yourself of all things you are grateful for. Count everything
that you have in life, twice, this means giving thanks multiple times. The best way to
practice gratitude is to write it down. Writing a gratitude journal can transform the way
you feel, especially in uncertain and low times. The more grateful you are, the more you
will attract in life. Look for opportunities to express gratitude to others.

There are many ways to express gratitude:

1. Make a dinner table ritual:

Take turns at the dinner table with your family and each one can call out something
they are grateful for.

2. Write in your gratitude journal:

Expressing gratitude verbally is great, but writing things that you are grateful for on a
daily basis anchors the thanks and imprints it in your heart forever serving as a perma-
nent reminder. Choose a time daily about 5-10 minutes and write things that you are
thankful for either when you wake up or just before you sleep.

3. Express gratitude for what challenges have taught you:

Learn to be thankful for opportunities that have helped you grow. Write down what you
have learnt from your hardships and how you have come out stronger. Every evening
ask yourself these 5 questions:

11
CONNECT WiTH ME :
- What is exciting for me now?
- What makes me feel grateful?
- Why am I proud of myself today?
- How can I become more in charge of my life?
- What thoughts did I think today?
Make this your new habit.
________________________________________
Like everything else that is difficult at first, it requires effort on your part, but it pays off after-
wards.
Take one of the 4 practices and start implementing it right away! Since you have read this
ebook, you are definitely committed to enhancing your life!
We all want to be happy and we choose to do by reading good books and forming healthy
habits. However, sometimes we may need a push from a coach to guide us at each step and
bring out the best version of ourselves.
If you think you are ready for coaching, transforming your thoughts and seeing guaranteed
results in a shorter period of time, seek our coaching today!!
What you think, you become, with me as your coach, choose what you think and create the
life you truly deserve!

12
CONNECT WiTH ME :