Choppy Sentences

CHOPPY SENTENCES
Choppy sentences are sentences that are too short and often repeat the same
words. They can make your writing appear unsophisticated and your ideas seem
disconnected. They should be combined to make longer sentences. For example:
I like dogs. Dogs make good pets. Dogs are friendly and loyal.
These sentences do not have good style. Reading these kinds of sentences can be boring
for the reader. Fortunately, they are easy to fix by moving words around.
I like dogs because they are friendly and loyal. These two characteristics make dogs good
pets.
If your writing contains lots of short sentences that give it a choppy rhythm, consider these
tips.
1. Combine Sentences With Conjunctions:
Join complete sentences, clauses, and phrases with conjunctions:
and, but, or, nor, yet, for, so
Example: Doonesbury cartoons satirize contemporary politics. Readers don't always find this funny. They
demand that newspapers not carry the strip.
Revised: Doonesbury cartoons laugh at contemporary politicians, but readers don't always find this funny
and demand that newspapers not carry the strip.
2. Link Sentences Through Subordination:
Link two related sentences to each other so that one carries the main idea and the other is no longer a
complete sentence (subordination). Use connectors such as the ones listed below to show the relationship.
after, although, as, as if, because, before, even if, even though, if, if only, rather than, since, that, though,
unless, until, when, where, whereas, wherever, whether, which, while
Example: The campus parking problem is getting worse. The university is not building any new garages.
Revised: The campus parking problem is getting worse because the university is not building any new
garages.
Example: The US has been highly dependent on foreign oil for many years. Alternate sources of energy are
only now being sought.
Revised: Although the US has been highly dependent on foreign oil for many years, alternate sources are
only now being sought.
3-Use Appositives (phrases that add information about a noun)
Choppy: Jesse Ventura has denied an interest in running for the senate. Ventura is the former governor of
Minnesota.
Revised: Jesse Ventura, the former governor of Minnesota, has denied an interest in running for the senate.
4-Integrate minor details

Choppy: The boy asked his father a question. The boy is five years old. The question was about death.
Revised: The five year old boy asked his father a question about death.
5-Learn to use modifying phrases effectively

Choppy: I was exhausted. I stared at the page. I was unable to comprehend a single word.
Revised: Exhausted, I stared at the page, unable to comprehend a single word.
Other considerations
• Don’t string together too many clauses- usually no more than three.
• Vary the length of your sentences. Too many long sentences in a row can be just as monotonous as too
many short sentences. A short sentence can have great impact if well placed.
Practice Activity
Edit these choppy sentences so they are more interesting to
read.
1. Vegetables are good for you. Vegetables taste good.

Vegetables are easy to prepare.
2. I like movies. I go to movies every weekend. I like action
movies best.
3. Elephants are big. They live in Africa and Asia. They eat a lot
of food.
4. Phil is a thrill seeker. He enjoys skydiving and bungee
jumping. He goes every chance he gets.
5. I hate housework. Housework is very boring. It takes too
much time. I especially dislike mopping the floor and ironing.
RUN ON SENTENCES
PROBLEM: Sentences are too long.
Run-on sentences have two or more independent clauses
(simple sentences) with no punctuation. Run-on sentences are
difficult to read and understand.
My mother likes to cook and she cooks delicious cakes and

cookies and I love the smell of the house whenever she is
baking something because it makes my mouth water.
Run-on sentences can be fixed in one of three ways:

1. use a period/full stop to make separate independent clauses
(a simple sentence)
2. use a subordinating conjunction (WHILE, BECAUSE and
ALTHOUGH, etc)
3. add or move words
Here is the above sentence corrected.

My mother likes to cook. Her cakes and cookies are delicious.
I love the smell of the house whenever she is baking
something because it makes my mouth water.
ACTIVITY
Rewrite these paragraphs by fixing the run-on sentences.
The first dog I had after graduating from college was named Fred and he was a
great dog and he loved to play ball and get a bath but he also used to chew my
shoes and plants when he was a puppy that made me very angry.
The other day John got a speeding ticket when he was driving through a school
zone at forty five kilometers per hour and the speed limit was only fifteen
kilometers per hour but he didn’t realize it was the first day of school so he
wasn’t paying too much attention to the traffic sign in the middle of the road and
he was very angry at the policeman because he was rude and would not give him
a break.
Telephones are probably one of the best and most convenient devices produced
in the twentieth century because you can call anyone, anytime from just about
anywhere especially now that there are so many cell phones available and
telephones don’t really cost that much to buy or to use.

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CHOPPY SENTENCES

4-Integrate minor details

5-Learn to use modifying phrases effectively

1. Vegetables are good for you. Vegetables taste good.

My mother likes to cook and she cooks delicious cakes and

Run-on sentences can be fixed in one of three ways:

Here is the above sentence corrected.

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