Norms Quotes

“Reading at meals is considered rude in polite society, but if you expect to succeed as a writer, rudeness should be the second-to-least of your concerns. The least of all should be polite society and what it expects.”
― Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

“The world is not ready for some people when they show up, but that shouldn't stop anyone.”
― Ashly Lorenzana

“What desire can be contrary to nature since it was given to man by nature itself?”
― Michel Foucault, Madness and Civilization: A History of Insanity in the Age of Reason

“A giant octopus living way down deep at the bottom of the ocean. It has this tremendously powerful life force, a bunch of long, undulating legs, and it's heading somewhere, moving through the darkness of the ocean… It takes on all kinds of different shapes—sometimes it's 'the nation,' and sometimes it's 'the law,' and sometimes it takes on shapes that are more difficult and dangerous than that. You can try cutting off its legs, but they just keep growing back. Nobody can kill it. It's too strong, and it lives too far down in the ocean. Nobody knows where its heart is. What I felt then was a deep terror. And a kind of hopelessness, a feeling that I could never run away from this thing, no matter how far I went. And this creature, this thing doesn't give a damn that I'm me or you're you. In its presence, all human beings lose their names and their faces. We all turn into signs, into numbers.”
― Haruki Murakami, After Dark

“Life is a useless passion, an exciting journey of a mammal in survival mode. Each day is a miracle, a blessing unexplored and the more you immerse yourself in light, the less you will feel the darkness. There is more to life than nothingness. And cynicism. And nihilism. And selfishness. And glorious isolation. Be selfish with yourself, but live your life through your immortal acts, acts that engrain your legacy onto humanity. Transcend your fears and follow yourself into the void instead of letting yourself get eaten up by entropy and decay. Freedom is being yourself without permission. Be soft and leave a lasting impression on everybody you meet”
― Mohadesa Najumi

“Everything you are used to, once done long enough, starts to seem natural, even though it might not be.”
― Julien Smith, The Flinch

“The path of the norm is the path of least resistance; it is the route we take when we're on auto-pilot and don't even realize we're following a course of action that we haven't consciously chosen. Most people who eat meat have no idea that they're behaving in accordance with the tenets of a system that has defined many of their values, preferences, and behaviors. What they call 'free choice' is, in fact, the result of a narrowly obstructed set of options that have been chosen for them. They don't realize, for instance, that they have been taught to value human life so far above certain forms of nonhuman life that it seems appropriate for their taste preferences to supersede other species' preference for survival.”
― Melanie Joy, Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs, and Wear Cows: An Introduction to Carnism

“But are his needs any more shocking than the needs of any other animals and men? Are his deeds more outrageous than the deeds of the parent who drained the spirit from his child? The vampire may foster quickened heartbeats and levitated hair. But is he worse than the parent who gave to society a neurotic child who became a politician? Is he worse than the manufacturer who set up belated foundations with the money he made by handing bombs and guns to suicidal nationalists? Is he worse than the distiller who gave bastardized grain juice to stultify further the brains of those who, sober, were incapable of progressive thought? (Nay, I apologize for this calumny; I nip the brew that feeds me.) Is he worse, then, than the publisher who filled ubiquitous racks with lust and death wishes? Really, no, search your soul, lovie--is the vampire so bad?”
― Richard Matheson, I Am Legend and Other Stories

“No one chooses which culture to be born into or can be blamed for how that culture evolved in past centuries.”
― Thomas Sowell, Black Rednecks and White Liberals

“The carnistic schema, which twists information so that nonsense seems to make perfect sense, also explains why we fail to see the absurdities of the system. Consider, for instance, advertising campaigns in which a pig dances joyfully over the fire pit where he or she is to be barbecued, or chickens wear aprons while beseeching the viewer to eat them. And consider the Veterinarian's Oath of the American Veterinary Medical Association, 'I solemnly swear to use my...skills for the...relief of animal suffering,' in light of the fact that the vast majority of veterinarians eat animals simply because they like the way meat tastes. Or think about how poeple won't replace their hamburgers with veggie burgers, even if the flavor is identical, because they claim that, if they try hard enough, they can detect a subtle difference in texture. Only when we deconstruct the carnistic schema can we see the absurdity of placing our preference for a flawless re-creation of a textural norm over the lives and deaths of billions of others.”
― Melanie Joy, Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs, and Wear Cows: An Introduction to Carnism

“Were we dealing with a spectrum-based system that described male and female sexuality with equal accuracy, data taken from gay males would look similar to data taken from straight females—and yet this is not what we see in practice. Instead, the data associated with gay male sexuality presents a mirror image of data associated with straight males: Most gay men are as likely to find the female form aversive as straight men are likely to find the male form aversive. In gay females we observe a similar phenomenon, in which they mirror straight females instead of appearing in the same position on the spectrum as straight men—in other words, gay women are just as unlikely to find the male form aversive as straight females are to find the female form aversive.

Some of the research highlighting these trends has been conducted with technology like laser doppler imaging (LDI), which measures genital blood flow when individuals are presented with pornographic images. The findings can, therefore, not be written off as a product of men lying to hide middling positions on the Kinsey scale due to a higher social stigma against what is thought of in the vernacular as male bisexuality/pansexuality. We should, however, note that laser Doppler imaging systems are hardly perfect, especially when measuring arousal in females.

It is difficult to attribute these patterns to socialization, as they are observed across cultures and even within the earliest of gay communities that emerged in America, which had to overcome a huge amount of systemic oppression to exist. It’s a little crazy to argue that the socially oppressed sexuality of the early American gay community was largely a product of socialization given how much they had overcome just to come out.

If, however, one works off the assumptions of our model, this pattern makes perfect sense. There must be a stage in male brain development that determines which set of gendered stimuli is dominant, then applies a negative modifier to stimuli associated with other genders. This stage does not apparently take place during female sexual development. ”
― Simone Collins, The Pragmatist's Guide to Sexuality

“The norms were created by somebody, and each of us is somebody. We can make our own normal.”
― Glennon Doyle, Untamed: Stop Pleasing, Start Living / A Toolkit for Modern Life

“Most conduct is guided by norms rather than by laws. Norms are voluntary and are effective because they are enforced by peer pressure.”
― Paul Collier, The Bottom Billion: Why the Poorest Countries Are Failing and What Can Be Done About It

“Before we can talk or walk, we are programmed to recognize norm violators - those whose antisocial behavior classifies them as "bad".”
― Richard W. Wrangham, The Goodness Paradox: The Strange Relationship Between Virtue and Violence in Human Evolution

“The existentialists said you couldn't make decisions based on preexisting norms or codes, which were always too general for any given case. Rather, every decision you made created you. The decision (existence) comes first, and creates essence.”
― Elif Batuman, The Idiot

“You know, we were very overconfident about these institutions and how well designed they are. Then it turned out that a lot of what makes American democracy work happened by, you know, it was really norms rather than laws or a general agreement. You know, that, for example, that the president publishes his tax returns. You know, that wasn't a law, it was just a habit. You know, maybe it's time to make it a law. So thinking carefully about what changes we can make to ensure genuine legitimacy and also to ensure people's feelings and belief in legitimacy, I think that's another important addition to the conversation.”
― Anne Applebaum

“let me tell you something, little girl.
the line is gray.
you can like lipstick
and worms.”
― Jenny Noble Anderson

“Det var svårt att avgöra om han njöt av att hon var besvärad eller om han faktiskt tyckte synd om henne.”
― Sally Rooney, Beautiful World, Where Are You

“Criteria are like glass. As long as they are respected and held without dropping them, they’ll stay solid and won’t break. I made myself complicit in humanity’s scam and adapted myself to the local ecosystem. That being said, I still don’t feel an intimate sense of belonging, but at least I don’t starve.”
― Dolki Min, Walking Practice

“The struggles between people, competition, and rivalry are all only derivative stimuli for development, concealing the primary stimuli. The latter appear when man meets nature face to face, and when in direct struggle with it he acts as a productive, creative force.”
― Alexander Bogdanov

“A human enemy does not push us toward the path of progress nearly as forcefully and accurately as our other great and mysteriously enchanted adversary - nature.
The internal social struggle that the individualist takes as the only possible and unquestionably necessary engine of progress in reality appears rather as its barrier. It wastes energy and dissipates the creative attention of men.
Man's struggle with nature - the main and universal engine of progress - is entirely devoid of such detrimental side effects.
Progress may be accomplished with the greatest speed and energy, the greatest versatility and harmony, only in a society that would have comradely cooperation as its form and the whole of humanity as its limit. There the forces of development will become infinite.”
― Alexander Bogdanov

“Let’s not fall into the trap of conventions and habits and convince ourselves that the way we are consuming now is next to impossible to alter because of regulated options, economic limitations, cultural norms, accessibility, or whichever excuse we come up with. Let’s remember that just as it is momentarily the norm to mindlessly shop and consume, it could easily become the new norm not to; to radically reduce one’s consumption and to focus on the usage and aesthetic nourishment of the objects one owns and invests in. Something being the norm doesn’t mean that it is carved in stone. Norms are changeable. Not easily changeable, but nevertheless changeable. Cherishing, mending, and repairing one’s belongings could become the new normal.”
― Kristine H. Harper, Anti-trend, Resilient Design and the Art of Sustainable Living

“The choices that we make are determined by the voices to which we are listening. And to listen to the voice that says we’re not listening to any voices is the worst voice to listen to.”
― Craig D. Lounsbrough

“Every great philosopher, in their own way, questioned the fundamental assumptions that were present in the thinking of their time”
― Steven West

“Cultural norms do not create morality, only collectivize and objectify it, and institutions may go a step further and sacralize it.”
― Michael Tomasello, A Natural History of Human Morality

“Since one's moral identity is socially constructed, one must always be prepared to justify -both to others and oneself- why one chose one course of action over another. Justification means showing that my actions actually emanated from values that we all share.”
― Michael Tomasello, A Natural History of Human Morality

“A Flock of Geese"
She often wondered
about the inexplicable deep sorrow that she feels
every time she sees a flock of geese flying in the sky …
Do the flying geese remind her that she has wasted her life
stuck in the trivialities of daily life?
Or perhaps the flying birds remind her
that she’s lost her ability to fly?
She thinks at times in sadness
how she wasted the years of her life
like a naïve bride dreaming about the ideal groom...
A bride planning the minutest details of her wedding,
not realizing, until her wings were clipped,
that the wedding, the groom, and the bride
are roles and illusions created by society
to counter the dangers of all those who wish to fly;
those who dream about creating new worlds
instead of getting hanged or strangulated
in a world created by on their behalf by others …
As she hears the honking of another passing flock of geese
flying over her head as did the most beautiful years of her life
the birds awaken in her that uncontrollable itch to depart
to refuse the illusion of settling and stability
The illusion of the wedding and the groom
The illusion of all the wedding invitees
Who spend an entire night dancing, cheering, and celebrating
the clipping of her wings…

[Original poem published in Arabic on December 14, 2023 at ahewar.org]”
― Louis Yako

“Certainly I favor tradition; I am aware that ancestral decorum ought not to be scorned. The aberrant is to be shunned. Life’s fundamental rhythms depend on sameness, not deviation. All this I long ago learned from my mother.”
― Cynthia Ozick, Antiquities

“Wokeism's impact on free speech is a concern when it veers towards canceling individuals for expressing opinions, including through comedy. Comedy, as a bastion of satire and social commentary, should remain a realm where artists fearlessly explore the boundaries of societal norms. The attempt to impose a narrow definition of acceptability not only stifles artistic expression but also undermines the spirit of free speech, which thrives in an atmosphere where ideas, regardless of their contentious nature, can be shared without the fear of retribution.”
― James William Steven Parker

“Wrongs committed by enough people become the norm.”
― Frank Sonnenberg, BECOME: Unleash the Power of Moral Character and Be Proud of the Life You Choose