Riordan Quotes

“To my wonderful readers:
Sorry about that last cliff-hanger.
Well, no, not really. HAHAHAHA.
But seriously, I love you guys.”
― Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

“No!" Leo yelled.
"Uhhh," Nico groaned from the floor.
"Piper!" Jason cried.
"Monkey!" Frank yelled.
"Not monkeys," Hazel grumbled. "I think those are dwarfs."
"Stealing my stuff!" Leo yelled, and ran for the stairs.”
― Rick Riordan

“The Romans move east from New York. They advance in your camp, and nothing can slow them down.
"Nothing can slow them down," Leo mused. "I wonder..."
"What?" Jason asked.
Leo looked at the dwarfs. "I'll make you a deal."
Akmon's eyes lit up. "Thirty percent?"
"We'll leave you all the treasure," Leo said, "except the stuff that belongs to us, and the astrolabe, and this book, which we'll take back to the dude in Venice."
"But he'll destroy us!" Passolos wailed.
"We won't say where we got it," Leo promised. "And we won't kill you. We'll let you go free."
"Uh, Leo...?" Jason asked nervously.
Akmon squealed in delight. "I knew you were as smart at Hercules! I will call you Black Bottom, the Sequel!"
"You, no thanks," Leo said. "But in return for us sparing your lives, you have to do something for us. I'm going to send you somewhere to steal from some people, harass them, make life hard for them any way you can. You have to follow my directions exactly. You have to swear on the River Styx."
"We swear!" Passalos said. "Stealing from people is our specialty!"
"I love harassment!" Akmon agreed. "Where are we going?"
Leo grinned. "Ever heard of New York?”
― Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

“If you’re listening to this, congratulations! You survived Doomsday.
I’d like to apologize straightaway for any inconvenience the end of the world may have caused you. The earthquakes, rebellions, riots,tornadoes, floods, tsunamis, and of course the giant snake who swallowed the sun—I’m afraid most of that was our fault. Carter and I decided we should at least explain how it happened.”
― Rick Riordan, The Serpent's Shadow

“Um..." Hazel faltered. "You mean you won't... you're not going to-"
"Claim your life?" Thantos asked. "Well, let's see..."
He pulled a pure-black iPad from thin air. Death, tapped the screen a few times, and all Frank could think was: Please don't let there be an app for reaping souls.
"I don't see you on the list," Thantos said. "Pluto gives me specific orders for escaped souls, you see. For some reason, he has not issued a warrant for yours. Perhaps he feels your life is not finished, or it could be n oversight. If you'd like me to call and ask-"
"No!" Hazel yelped. "That's okay."
"Are you sure?" Death asked helpfully. "I have video-conferencing enabled. I have his Skype address here somewhere...”
― Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune

“Curse us eh/I'll make you pay!/I don't want to rhyme all day!”
― Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

“It's mechanical," Leo said. "Maybe a doorway to the dwarfs' secret lair?"
"Ooooo!" shrieked a nearby voice. "Secret lair?"
"I want a secret lair!" yelled another voice from above.

...

"If we had a secret lair," said Red Fur, "I would want a firehouse pole."
"And a waterslide!" said Brown Fur, who was pulling random tools out of Leo's belt, tossing aside wrenches, hammers, and staple guns.
"Stop that!" Leo tried to grab the dwarf's feet, but he couldn't reach the top of the pedestal.
"Too short?" Brown Fur sympathized.
"You're calling me short?" Leo looked around for something to throw, but there was nothing but pigeons, and he doubted he could catch one. "Give me my belt, you stupid-"
"Now, now!" said Brown Fur. "We haven't even introduced ourselves. I'm Akmon, and my brother over there-"
"-is the handsome one!" The red-furred dwarf lifted his espresso. Judging from his dilated eyes and maniacal grin, he didn't need any more caffeine. "Passolos! Singer of songs! Drinker of coffee! Stealer of shiny stuff!”
― Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

“The giant raised his fist, and a voice cut through the dream.
"Leo!" Jason was shaking his shoulder. "Hey, man, why are you hugging Nike?"
Leo's eyes fluttered open. His arms were wrapped around the human-sized statue in Athena's hand. He must have been thrashing in his sleep. He clung to the victory goddess like he used to cling to his pillow when he had nightmares as a kid. (Man, that had been so embarrassing in the foster homes.)
He disentangled himself and sat up, rubbing his face.
"Nothing," he muttered. "we were just cuddling. Um, what's going on?”
― Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

“Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit.”
― Rick Riordan, The Serpent's Shadow

“Yes, an actual full-sized camel. If you find that confusing, just think how the criosphinx must have felt.
Where did the camel come from, you ask? I may have mentioned Walt’s collection of amulets. Two of them summoned disgusting camels. I’d
met them before, so I was less than excited when a ton of dromedary flesh flew across my line of sight, plowed into the sphinx, and collapsed on top
of it. The sphinx growled in outrage as it tried to free itself. The camel grunted and farted.
“Hindenburg,” I said. Only one camel could possibly fart that badly. “Walt, why in the world—?”
“Sorry!” he yelled. “Wrong amulet!”
The technique worked, at any rate. The camel wasn’t much of a fighter, but it was quite heavy and clumsy. The criosphinx snarled and clawed
at the floor, trying unsuccessfully to push the camel off; but Hindenburg just splayed his legs, made alarmed honking sounds, and let loose gas.
I moved to Walt’s side and tried to get my bearings.”
― Rick Riordan, The Serpent's Shadow

“Come on," I said. "I've got some questions for Thoth. And then I'm going to punch him in the beak.”
― Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid

“Hedge put a drinking straw next to Nico’s mouth. “Have some Gatorade.”
“I-I don’t want-“
“You’ll have some Gatorade,” the coach insisted.
Nico had some Gatorade.”
― Rick Riordan

“It's stupid, what keeps families apart”
― Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

“The way Leo figured it, he spent more time crashing than he did flying. If there were a rewards card for frequent crashers, he’d be, like, double platinum level. Leo couldn’t fly. He had a couple of minutes at most before he’d hit the water and go ker-splat. He decided he didn’t like that ending to the Epic Ballad of Leo.”
― Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

“I spread my majestic wings. I had really done it! I was a noble falcon, lord of the sky. I launched myself off the sidewalk and flew straight into the fence.”
― Rick Riordan