Edit: ik was ook helemaal vergeten te vermelden dat de bronvermelding niet geweldig is. Als in, het is er niet. En bronnen zijn juist zo belangrijk alEdit: ik was ook helemaal vergeten te vermelden dat de bronvermelding niet geweldig is. Als in, het is er niet. En bronnen zijn juist zo belangrijk als je iets als feit claimt (vooral bij iets als ASS, wat al zo vaak verkeerd wordt begrepen).
Ik heb zelf veel boeken gelezen over Autisme. Gedeeltelijk omdat ik, doordat ik het zelf heb, er ontzettend in geïnteresseerd ben en gedeeltelijk door mijn opleiding. Dit boek is anders dan de anderen in het feit dat dit geschreven is door iemand van een andere generatie (en iemand uit een ander land, de overige schrijfsters kwamen allemaal uit Amerika). Hierdoor kon ik mezelf ook in meer aspecten herkennen dan bij de andere boeken (ook in bepaalde dingen niet, zoals het pas later in het leven een diagnose ontvangen en de problematiek die daaruit voorkomt, maar dit heeft ook te maken met het leeftijdsverschil). Ook was het, op sommige punten, ook meer een uitleg over ASS dan een persoonlijk levensverhaal en voor mijn gevoel kwam er ook in naar voren dat ASS voor iedereen anders is. Al met al heeft dit boek over het algemeen wel mijn voorkeur over de andere boeken.
Dat gezegd hebbende kan ik dit boek geen perfecte score geven. Er waren namelijk een aantal dingen die mij opvielen waardoor het (voor mijn gevoel) geen 5 sterren verdient. Het eerste wat mij opviel was het regelmatige gebruik van chatspeak. Dit is meer een kwestie van smaak, maar voor mij is het zo dat het mij uit de flow van het lezen haalde. En dat was erg jammer. Ook leek de toon af en toe best agressief (iets wat mensen die het boek van mij hebben geleend ook hebben aangegeven), wat de ervaring van het lezen voor mij ook iets minder prettig maakte.
Maar, ondanks die paar kleine dingetjes, zou ik dit boek zeker aan mensen aanraden. Naast dat het gewoon een interessant boek is, zal het mensen ook op een makkelijke en laagdrempelige manier kennis laten maken met ASS. Het enige wat ik er persoonlijk bij zou zeggen (als ik het boek aan iemand uitleen die nog niet zo veel ervaring heeft aan de stoornis), is dat de tips misschien niet voor iedereen gelden. Maar alleen omdat zoiets gewoon makkelijk te vergeten is....more
Other things that I like is that it also discusses some things that are more modern (like Tumblr), something I didn't find in the other books. There were also things that I found out about myself I didn't necessarily label as ASD behaviour or at least being rooted in my ASD (example: when I used to ride horses I loved, absolutely loved, to go fast... something the author also describes as liking).
Like the others, she also generalises at times. But I feel like that's inevitable when you write about a topic like this. However, she does also talk about how her experience with Aspergers is uniquely her own. So, it's not all generalising, which is nice.
Honestly, this is not a perfect guide. If you are on the spectrum you might recognise yourself in some parts (or maybe in none of them) and don't feel the connection with others. That's why it's such a heterogenous disorder. So, I'm not going to tell you that this is the book you absolutely should read. In my opinion it is best to read multiple books so that you can see how unique every experience is. But this book definitely belongs in the "should read" pile. Just like the others (the only ones I wouldn't recommend, especially if you want to understand ASD, are those written by "experts" who aren't on the spectrum themselves)....more
My second ASD-related book in a short time (I also read Aspergirls). And I have given it the same amount of stars. But I've done this for different reMy second ASD-related book in a short time (I also read Aspergirls). And I have given it the same amount of stars. But I've done this for different reasons. Where Aspergirls reads more like an instruction manual interspersed with some anecdotes, Pretending to be Normal are the memoirs of a woman who has Asperger's (although it doesn't become clear if she is officially diagnosed and anecdotes can easily become coloured by the lenses through which they are interpreted). And I liked it. Most parts I didn't identify with, but some did feel familiar. And that's okay. The author's writing style is not extremely accessible, so it might take most people some time to get used to. But other than that it's an interesting story based on someone's experiences with the disorder.
That's the first two-thirds of the book. The second consists of the appendix. The appendix contains tips and some guidelines on how to live with ASD and one chapter with tips for non-ASD people. Most of the time she doesn't act like every tip wil work for everyone (or that everyone will need every tip), although I did find some generalisations in there (mainly the chapter with tips for non-ASD people). There are also a couple of things that I might have added, but that's just my personal opinion/experience.
Other than that the book is obviously a product of its time. Some sentiments are not relevant in this day and age. Not that it bothered me. To me it only illustrated how far we have come as a society (although we do still have a long way to go). Other sentiments did make me cry (in a good way). One such example is that she doesn't wish for a cure for Asperger's, which is a contrast to what is often expressed by people on the spectrum.
All things considered, this book might not be a suitable read for everyone. But if you're interested in this subject, I would definitely recommend it. If you do go ahead and read it, I do have one tip (and this is something that works for every book on ASD), don't generalise. Don't think that this is everyone with ASD. ...more
It's not like it's a bad book, but I don't really care for it... I think? The stories in the book are just that: stories. Personal experiences. And thIt's not like it's a bad book, but I don't really care for it... I think? The stories in the book are just that: stories. Personal experiences. And that isn't a bad thing. On the contrary, it serves to illustrate the heterogeneity of the disorder. And it is written in a manner that is very accessible (I did read the Dutch translation though). However, the author sometimes suggests that ALL girls with AS have some symptom or character trait, while this obviously isn't the case. This is a shame, since she does seem to realise that it is a unique experience for everyone (she mentions it a couple of times and she interviewed 35+ women with AS, which I do think is amazing). I also would've liked to read more on being queer, since research has shown that heterosexuality isn't as common within the ASD community as she seems to imply. Another thing that is a shame is that she mentions anxiety a lot, but never goes into detail. This, despite that fact that it is very common (even more common than depression, I believe) in this group.
Having said all of that, I would still recommend it because it will beat anything written by an allistic (i.e., non-autistic) author. As Cognitive Neuroscience student who, at the time of reading identified as a woman (and is biologically female), with ASD (but with AS as the original diagnosis) and who is specialising in ASD research, I find that this does confirm that researchers need to pay more attention to women on the spectrum. Just keep in mind that it is a very subjective book based very much on the personal experiences of the author. If you can do that, it will be a pleasant read (I did finish it within an evening for a reason)....more
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