Emma Neil's Reviews > The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center

** spoiler alert ** This has been the year of “The Other Significant Others”— after listening to Ezra Klein’s interview of Rhaina Cohen in the winter anddd making all of my closest friends do the same, we spent a lot of time reflecting on the deep relationships in our lives, the importance of community, and what it might look like to let these two things lead us rather than seeking to make our relationships fit the “defaults” we are taught. These conversations alone have brought me closer to my friends. We’ve asked questions of each other that, in the past, I would have reserved for romantic partners— what would it look like to co-parent together? Make future plans around each other? Live in the same neighborhood in ten years? How would we juggle our family commitments?

This book is NOT a refute of romantic love or partnership. It is a creative investigation of meaningful friendships that break norms of closeness and how to develop relationships that reach their full potential (which for sure will not mean living together for the majority of people). Although she doesn’t use this term, what Cohen describes sounds to me a lot like queering a relationship. It’s about stepping outside assumed bounds of a connection and then discovering something new and authentic to your unique relationship together.

This book feels especially important right now when so many people are experiencing intense loneliness and isolation, and when a lot of people my age have divorced parents or are questioning the nuclear family structure. Maybe we’ve boxed ourselves in? Maybe it’s time to think about other ways of organizing our homes/relationships/families?

So thought-provoking and wholehearted. If you read this, please let me know <3