Kino Touch her man!

During your conversation you need to touch her in places

that friends wouldnt to get her used to the idea of you sleeping with her. Touch
her lower back, stomach, leg to leg, waste and face.

Simply brushing her hair away from her face and placing it behind her ear is enough to
escalate.

Compliment reaction
Give her a genuine compliment, and see how she reacts. The compliment should be something
to convey your romantic interest- saying that her shoes are nice is not a particularly good
compliment. Compliment her on an attribute, whether it is a physical or personality trait. Then,
carefully observe her reaction.

If she seems uncomfortable, she is most definitely not into you (and do not attempt to
compliment her again, it will only make things worse). If she politely thanks you, she might only
see you as a friend. However, if she appears to be delighted by the compliment, it is a sign that
she is interested in you.

Innocent physical contact

Initiate some sort of physical contact- but not in a sexual way. You might brush against her arm,
or reach across her to grab something. If she tries to prolong the physical contact, she definitely
is interested in you.

Tread carefully with the physical contact test, because if you do it too much, you will come across
as really creepy. You also should not use this test unless you suspect she is into you, and you
are just confirming.

Ask her for a favor

Have you ever done a favour for a woman, just because you have the hots for her? It is human
nature to go out of our way to impress someone. Rather than doing her a favor to show your
affections, turn it around by asking her do something for you. A small favor, like getting you a
drink, is best- you do not want to inconvenience her too much. If she is more than happy to do a
favor for you, then she is into you.

Pay close attention to how she reacts to being asked. It is one thing to do a favor for someone
because you are a considerate person, but quite another to jump at the chance to do a favor. If
she complies reluctantly, then she is just being nice and has no intentions of pursuing anything
with you. As always, do not use this test too many times, or you will come across as a user.

1. Perfect Transition into the Date Text

A MAJOR problem most guys have over text is this: NOT knowing how to transition from
flirting/talking on text into setting up a date! Proposing a date is one of the 3 KEY
INGREDIENTS to effective text game (per Magnetic Messaging).
Also, most guys tell a woman TOO MUCH over text, destroying any mystery or intrigue
that gets women excited about meeting up for a date. I always tell guys to think of
texting as a movie preview. You want to give her JUST ENOUGH so that shes
CURIOUS and EXCITED for the date. (You do not, however, want to give her the whole
movie on text!)

To accomplish this, I devised the perfect text:

Sounds like a good _________ (discussion /debate /conversation) over a glass of wine

In context, youd use this text WHENEVER a woman asks for more information about
something that interests her or even challenges you.

For example:

Girl: Whatcha workin on?

Rob: Doing some writing ATM

Girl: Really? About what?

Rob: About something I can only tell you about over a glass of wine.

Rob: Lets meet up later, around 8, at Blue Martini. Te gusta?

2. Perfect Radar Text to Get Investment

If you dont know what a radar text is, then you need to
get Magnetic Messaging. In addition to eliciting a radar text, sometimes you also want a
girl to invest some time/ thought/ emotions into the exchange (especially if shes gotten
a bit distant or cold).

One of the BEST ways Ive found to do this is through pop culture. Feel free to steal
these back-to-back texts to get some positive momentum and investment from girls who
are slipping away:

Text 1: Just made a Spotify playlist titled, Cool guy music

Text 2: Give me some song recs!

3. Look Important while Giving a Compliment

Readers of Magnetic Messaging know that I love blurring the line between
cockiness and sweetness. The section in Magnetic on the couple compliment breaks
down EXACTLY how to simultaneously give a compliment while also making
yourself look cool in the process.

Likewise, a text I recently created that accomplishes a similar effect is the old work
break idea:

Need a work break, looking for a cute girl to distract me

4. Get Some Yes Momentum

One thing Ive found VERY effective in interacting

with women is the idea of yes momentum. Once a girl is invested emotionally, often
she doesnt want to ruin the vibe by saying no (especially to things you like or enjoy).

As guys, its often us who get sucked into A GIRLs yes momentum. (If youve ever
said you liked a movie or song just because a girl said she liked it, raise your hand)

***Sheepishly raises hand****

For those of us who know what it feels like to get swept away by yes momentum, you
can imagine how powerful it can be if YOU were able to turn the tables and get a girl to
agree with all your likes and interests

especially if you could parlay that yes momentum into a romantic date! (Insert Dr.
Evil laugh)

Heres a great text that suggests a date activity while creating some yes momentum:

Do you smoke hookah*? (Please say yes)

*Obviously substitute YOUR preferred romantic activity.

==============================
Discover the 3 Texts that turn her on and get her out on a date
==============================

5. The Shameless Compliment

If youve been on this newsletter for any time, you probably know Im all
about expressing my masculine drive in an honest and transparent way. In less
pretentious terms, Im about acting

SHAMELESS!

Once you and a girl are vibing, and especially if youve initiated the turn sequence from
the keylock, then throwing out an over-the-top compliment can dramatically HELP your
chances of meeting up with her.

This text is also GREAT for girls youve already been out on a date with or even a
girlfriend:

Text 1: Why are you hot and ____________*?

Text 2: Its really not fair

*Fill in something (non-physical) about her that you like, for example: Why are you hot
and creative or Why are you hot and such an expert of wine

Well, there you have it! (I must confess, I was a little hesitant to hit SEND on this email
because these texts are so sacred to me!)

Indirect Compliance Gaining Strategies for Getting a

Date

1) Suggest - This involves getting a date by making indirect suggestions. You get
them to do what you want by proposing it subtly as an alternative.

Example:

You: What do you have going on this weekend?

Them: I was thinking about going bowling.

You: That sounds fun. I'm going to the movies to see (movie title). Maybe you'd like to
go too?
Or (stronger)...

You: What do you have going on this weekend?

Them: I was thinking about going bowling.

You: That sounds fun. Or, we could go to the movies. The new one coming out looks
cool...

2) Their Idea - This strategy makes someone think the request was their idea in the
first place. They are left thinking they wanted to do it to begin with.

Example:

You: Do you know any good places to get Italian food? I'd really like some.

Them: Yea, I love the food at Mario's. Go there.

You: That is a great suggestion. Since you like it, maybe we could go together?

Or (stronger)...

You: Do you know any good places to get Italian food? I'd really like some.

Them: Yea, I love the food at Mario's. Go there.

You: That's a great suggestion. We should definitely go. When are you free?

3) Why Not? - This approach gets someone to do what you want by putting them on
the defensive. It turns the tables and has them try to come up with reasons why they
shouldn't comply (which is difficult). Essentially, you're asking them "why not"?

Example:

You: This weekend is supposed to be nice and that new restaurant opened up
downtown. I don't see any reason why we shouldn't go check it out.

Or (stronger)...

You: You're single. I'm single. Why don't we go out sometime?

4) Benefit - This technique gains compliance by explaining a benefit for the person
you are trying to convince. It is telling them "what is in it for them".

Example:

You: They have great cappuccino at the coffee shop. You might want to try it some
time.

Them: That sounds good. I think I will.

You: Great. I would love another cup myself. Maybe we could go together? I'm free on
Tuesday after class.

Or (stronger)...

You: You should really check out that new coffee shop, they have great cappuccino.

Them: That sounds good. I think I will.

You: Great. I would love another cup myself. We can go on Tuesday after class.

5) Challenge - This strategy works by challenging others to do what you want them
to do. Think of it like a fun "dare", bet, or competition.

Example:

You: I bet you can't come up with a better first date than I can. I would...(explain your
date). What would you do?

Them: I would...(explains date).

You: That sounds cool. Ok, you win. Actually, I'd really like to do that. Maybe we
should really go? What do you think?

Or (stronger)...

You: I bet you can't come up with a better first date than I can. I would...(explain your
date). What would you do?

Them: I would...(explains date).

 You: That sounds cool. Ok, you win. We'll go on your date. What time should I meet
you?

How to Be Smooth with Girls Every Time

by Chase Amante
Sunday, 9 December 2012

About 3 weeks ago on the post announcing the site's new forum, a reader named "D" asked about
escalating things with women, being seductive, and cool essentially, how to be smooth.

Here's the gist of D's comment:

Brother, I can initiate with no problems and create that instant attraction. But I seem
to hit a wall at some point shortly after. I tend to have difficulty escalating to
physicality. Granted I'm not very experienced in my endeavors but have been reading,
studying, and trying to better myself; both in my body language and self image.

I need to know how to ignite the spark that I create and squirt a little gas on it.
I can create an opener from nothing and sometimes get 1 or 2 dates. Then something
goes south. I try to be funny and witty, which works with openers, but I need to flip the
switch to escalation and being SMOOTH to seal the deal! I feel like I have read almost
everything out there so please my brother, let me know if you have any advice. I
appreciate all that you've done and anything you can do to help me. Thank you!

And just a week ago, another commenter, xChaser, this time on the post about anxiety in men,
asked about something very similar, saying:

Hi Chase,
I again want to let you know you blog is impacting lot of guys lives. I have improved a
lot from implementing what's discussed here. I have one request on a topic that pretty
much helps the new guys not end up wasting lot of time.

Basically what I noticed is as we gain in knowledge, we get more succesful at dealing

with girls, but after moving quite forward in the interaction sometimes [after] a small
mistake the girl drops you like a ball, never to recover.

Could you cover a topic around this major critical point where you up the ante and at
least during initial days avoid those traps rather getting dropped flat after spending so
much time on the girl.

I guess you got my point.

Thanks in advance,
xChaser

Both commenters are asking about something I call "transition points" those moments in an
interaction with a woman where it's time for you to take things to the next level... if you can only
figure out how.

Most guys can't, and drop the ball, as xChaser put it.

But what if you didn't drop the ball?

What if you could handle transition points like a pro every time?

What I'm asking is... what if you knew how to be smooth?

Because that's what I'm going to teach you to be today.

When I was first learning how to pick up girls, most of the guys around me didn't really have a
whole lot I could learn from. Even after I moved to Washington, D.C. in mid-2006, and I started
hanging out with other aspiring seducers, all of them were as choppy with women as I was then
or worse.

Some of them much worse.

But even those guys were better than what I'd see out of your average run-of-the-mill Joe on the
street or in the bar all those guys knew how to do was get drunk, mumble or shout things at
girls, try and grope them, fail, and end up in a fist fight with some other drunk guy who'd equally
failed in his mumblings, shoutings, and gropings after all the girls got fed up for the night and
went home to sleep.

And then I moved out to Southern California, and right away met a guy far better with women
than anyone I'd known in a long time.

He'd talk to them, joke around with them, and move them around effortlessly.

He was charming.

He was attractive.

He was smooth.

And suddenly, in an instant, I realized in an instant how un-smooth I was.

I did not have this guy's ease with the opposite sex. Every girl I'd landed before I'd basically had
to steam roll through... or, occasionally, I'd pulled off a smooth seduction through sheer luck or
accident.

But this guy was pulling things off smoothly all the time.

Soon I made another friend who was as smooth as the first. Then another.
 Between these three friends, I quickly got an education on what it meant to be smooth... and I
knew if I wanted to make meeting and picking up and seducing and dating women as easy and
straightforward and intuitive as these friends of mine had, I was going to need a complete
"smooth" overhaul.

Being Smooth: An Outsider's Perspective

When you're sitting on the outside, looking in at a guy who's smooth, it looks to you
essentially like this:

Nothing fazes him

Everything is natural
Everything is effortless
He's always in control of things
He's never stiff or uncomfortable
Even setbacks are handled with ease and adroitness, as if he's seen it all and done it all a million
times before already

Some of that may sound familiar to you if you've been reading this site for a time - you'll
recognize the "effortless" and "natural" elements of smooth as outcroppings of what we talked
about in these articles:

The Law of Least Effort

Sprezzatura, Effort, and Investing
Making Your Seductions EFFICIENT

If you haven't read those articles yet, or it's been a while and you've forgotten what they were all
about, I recommend you go check them out first to get a handle on the tremendous IMPACT that
effort has on your social power and your ability to present yourself as attractive and dominant.

But here's the long and short on effort: women and men alike find the individuals with the
highest level of return on their actions and the lowest level of apparent visible effort exerted
to achieve results to be the most attractive.

If you want a cookie, and I want a cookie, and I've got to get up to go get it, but you can snap
your fingers and have someone bring it to you, or push a button and the cookie is delivered down
a conveyor belt to you, you look cooler, stronger, and more powerful and attractive than me.

Effort - and the minimization thereof - is undoubtedly a part of being smooth.

But it isn't the whole picture.

 So what is? How do you get those other parts - how do you stop being fazed, always be in
control, kill stiffness and discomfort, and handle every setback encountered like you've seen it a
hundred times before, even if you've never even seen it once?

I could get clich on you here and just say, "Well, confidence, of course! Duh!"

But that's the easy answer (and not a very helpful one, at that). Instead, today's article is going to
take a far more nuanced look at how to be smooth, in order that you might make attraction and
transition handling far more snap... than snafu.

When a lot of people think of "smooth," the image they get in their heads is of a used car
salesman with the perfect pitch who, try as he might, can't help but rub you a little bit the wrong
way... maybe it's because he just won't shut up, or maybe it's how every word out of his mouth
seems to be something he's practiced a hundred times before.

But that's not smooth; that's slick.

A guy who really knows how to be smooth isn't just good; he's natural. Have a look at this clip
from The Saint with Val Kilmer and Elizabeth Shue:

Kilmer has a good "feel" about him, right? But he isn't slick... he's smooth.

Take a glance through some of the nuances of the clip, in case you missed them:

Kilmer looks down initially when Shue looks over, but not immediately; he holds eye contact for
a split second, just long enough for him to tell her he's interested, but he's not going to chase after
her. When you've locked onto someone's eyes before they've locked onto yours, you normally
need to break eye contact first to not feel like a threat (to give them a chance to assess you
without being watched).
 He gives her a chance to check him out without checking out back, then speaks to herjust as she
quickens her pace as she's leaving - just as awkwardness begins to set in, he breaks it and opens
her.

He keeps his eye contact broken until she gives him a reason to reestablish it strongly, putting his
gaze on her to communicate, "I'm listening."

He deep dives very quickly, going from a simple question into finding out something she loves,
and putting the burden of the interaction on her to define to him something that's in her head but
she hasn't taken time to examine much before.

He doesn't give feedback after her answer, only goes back to his drawing, as if he didn't have a
care in the world. But he knows she has to ask him something now... it's far too awkward for
her to simply leave after just having told him something intimate about herself, so he's able to be
both extremely intriguing and to get her pursuing him and interested right away.

After she asks him about himself, he's both humble and intriguing, and then he follows the
cardinal rule of conversation management and he turns it back to her, asking her what she
searches for... another deep and intimate question.

He then asks a question that seems to break the flow of the conversation, which confuses her
("Why's he asking this?") and intrigues and excites her further. The question is made both dream-
like ("Perhaps I'll take you to my home, in Africa") and relevant to the conversation ("... you
should experience the energy of where all life began"), which ups his impression as a powerful
man and a mysterious one.

He moves very quickly, and acts as if he's about to kiss her... and she appears both excited and
willing for it. Then he breaks that and moves off, saying he's not good with people, which makes
him more vulnerable and relatable after he's just built himself up as this powerful, intriguing,
mysterious man capable of drawing intimate details out of her with ease.

There is a lot of detail packed into that short scene, and it's the reason why The Saint, although its
seductions are only a small part of the movie, was one of the biggest things I modeled myself
after early on in my seduction career.

Because while you might picture James Bond in a tuxedo with a hint of a smirk on his face
when you think of smooth, you don't have to dress like a penguin just to be smooth.

Smooth isn't about your clothes, you see (as evidenced by the clip above).

And it isn't about being snarky or witty, although a little well-placed humor doesn't hurt (if you
watch the rest of The Saint, you'll see Kilmer use humor as that character later on too). Nor is it
about talking a mile-a-minute and never letting the other person get a word in edgewise, per the
used car salesman example.

Rather, being smooth is about being both confidently strong and purposeful and completely
non-needy in the face of whatever you encounter.

And in case you think that's too vague, let's get a little more specific.

Defining Smooth
Can a college student be smooth? How about a software engineer? A construction worker? An
office manager?

Yes, yes, yes... and yes.

Smooth doesn't have anything to do with your profession.

Nor does it have anything to do with your physical characteristics - those smooth friends of mine
I told you about in Southern California made up a full spectrum of ethnicities: one of them was
Korean American, one of them was white, and one of them was black. Two were in great shape,
but one was stick thin. One was an inch over 6 feet tall, one was three inches below that, and
another was another three inches below him. And those famously picky, beautiful California girls
loved all of them.

And the first "smooth" guy I ever knew was a 5'3" Puerto Rican salesman with a beer gut who
only slept with attractive women who had at least 4 inches on him... and he slept with a lot of
attractive women who had at least 4 inches on him.

Smooth doesn't even have to do with energy levels; I've seen guys who were bouncing off the
walls but still oozing smooth, and I've seen guys who hardly ever lifted a finger dripping with
smooth.

Smooth is not about your look, or your characteristics, or your background or

profession. Those things might matter somewhat for other aspects of attraction, but they don't
play a part in smooth.

What smooth IS, ultimately, is all about THIS:

Being clearly and comfortably in control.

Sort of like the used car salesman example, when a lot of people think of a man being "in
control," they get the wrong idea. Usually they think of:
 A big muscular alpha male jock barking orders and intimidating everyone around him

An angry, unevenly tempered man snapping at the slightest straying from his orders by his
submissive and retreating girlfriend

A guy sitting at the top of his social circle, in his preferred environment, who's used to having
things go his way and giving commands and having his friends or toadies fulfill them

But none of those are truly in control. The first two examples are men who are maintaining
control by a hair; they only remain in control so long as they can continue intimidating those they
control. The instant those being controlled wise up to their act, or no longer need them, their
illusion of control vanishes, and their subjects simply walk away.

And the third example, of the guy in his social circle, his control doesn't last, because it doesn't
translate. At some point, his friends move to other cities, or get married, or get a job that takes up
their time and they stop being able to hang out. If his power is at work, his employees leave, he
changes jobs or gets promoted or changes departments, and suddenly his powerbase is gone. It's a
very fleeting form of control... and it doesn't toanything for his success with women outside of the
one environment where he pulls his strings at.

Those normal examples people think of when they think of someone in control are wrong,
because they imagine a man who is seemingly in control, while in fact is on the very precipice
of losing control.

Real control though, you do not lose, even when things don't go your way.

Now let's have a look at how you can get it, and at how to be smooth... and, by extension, at how
to get girls by the boatload.

Why do women find a man comfortably and stably in control so attractive?

 We could go deep into evolutionary psychology on this one... but rather than do that, allow to
give you a few examples of different men:

1. A weak, emotionally needy man who is not in control at all

2. A man who is in control, but hanging on by a thread and using fear/intimidation
3. A man who is easily and effortlessly in control, comfortable, and smooth

Which man would you want to have around you in any capacity? Which man strikes you as the
most stable and trustworthy as the bunch? Which man would you want to have as a friend, a
business partner, a brother-in-arms in a time of war?

And which one do you think a woman would want to invest her time, her energy, and her body
into?

It's pretty obvious when you put it that way, isn't it: the third one. Hands down.

Everybody wants to be around a man who's smooth. The man who knows how to be smooth
knows how to command the attention, attraction, and desire of the masses.

But, knowing what it is is one thing... actually being it, well - that's something else altogether.
You may have watched that video clip of Kilmer above... but can you do that? And even if you
pull it off at the start... can you maintain that?
 How to Be Smooth with Women (and Everyone Else)
There are three stages of becoming smooth that you will go into (assuming you're just an
ordinary, average guy who isn't already in the process of being smooth). These are:

1. Understanding what "smooth" is and trying to be it... somewhat awkwardly

2. Becoming more smooth and having "lucky breaks" where you seem very smooth
3. Reaching the point where you are now naturally smooth almost always

I'm going to take you through each of these, and give you plenty of examples of how they play
out and what they look like, both in normal conversation, and during the transition points
(moving things forward with women), where smoothness is at its most essential.

Beginner Smooth

As a beginner at learning how to be smooth, you'll be focused on a handful of things:

1. Tamp down your enthusiasm. A smooth man is never amazed, or awed, or overly
impressed by anything. He will show flashes of excitement and animation...but he never goes
crazy. Nothing is truly "new" for him... he's seen it all before.

What this means for you as a beginner is you will have to tamp down your reactions and keep
them controlled. A clown on stilts walks by? You don't say, "Wow, oh my God, look at that! It's
so cool!" Instead, you casually glance at it, then turn back to whomever you're speaking with and
say, "That's neat. So anyway..." A girl tells you she's been selected to go on some TV show? You
don't say, "No way! That'samazing!" Rather, you say, in a neutral, almost bored tone, "Oh no
way... that's really cool. How'd you pull that off?" as if you're mildly disinterested but making
polite conversation.

If this seems "unnatural" to you, that's fine. You don't have to do it. You can simply wait until
you're 50 or 60 years old, and you really HAVE seen it all and heard it all before, and be smooth
then.

But if you'd rather not wait 20 or 30 or 40 or however many years you have to get there, start
tamping down your enthusiasm now.

2. Tamp down your other reactions, too. A smooth man does not take what other people
say seriously, because a smooth man understands that if someone is REALLY serious, that
person will not spend time talking about it, or threatening it... he will simply go do it.
 What that means is, when you have a girl fuming and saying she's going to leave, or a guy
standing in your face filled with rage telling you he's going to pound you into the dirt... neither of
them is ready to do it yet. Otherwise, they'd be doing it.

So, you force yourself to remain calm - don't react, don't backtrack, don't apologize - and
simply handle the situation.

You tell the girl, "No, stay; I like talking to you. If you really want to go, you can go in five
minutes." You hold out your hand and say, "I'm Jake," and maintain eye contact with a smile on
your face until he shakes it. Afterward, you say, "I figure if we're going to fight each other, we
might as well get properly introduced first."

And, suddenly, they're disarmed by your smoothness. That's because the escalation process is
one of escalating confidence; someone who is emotionally escalating is also checking you for
reactiveness to confirm that he or she is making the right decisions. If a woman doesn't see
you desperate or upset to see her leave, but rather calmly telling her to stay, she becomes
confused and realizes her emotions aren't appropriate for the situation; if a petulant man doesn't
see you fearful or apologetic or confrontational in the face of his belligerence, but rather calmly
introducing yourself and opening up a dialogue, unaffected by the situation, he becomes confused
and realizes his emotions aren't appropriate either.

3. Work on your steadiness. Being emotionally calm and not overly reactive is a part of it, but
being steady is another big part. Most people, in emotional situations, are jittery, nervous, and
unsure. Their emotions are flooding their neural circuits, and there's simply too much going on;
their voices tremble, their eye contact falters, and their forced smiles look too fake. Work on
this.

Why's it so important to work on your steadiness? Because the fact is, lack of steadiness can give
you away in emotionally heightened situations (such as pulling women home, or addressing
tough questions or objections) that you aren't experienced in.

Oh, sure - you'll get natural steadiness once you've already been there and done that a hundred
times or more. But if you don't want to be reliant on having to acquire massive amounts of
experience in any particular situation before being able to handle it well, work on getting
steadiness down first.

4. Work on being relaxed. The flip side of learning to tamp down your emotions and make
yourself appear more steady is that most learners end up going overboard and become stiff. But
when you're stiff, it's a dead giveaway you aren't actually comfortable OR in control.

What you communicate through stiffness is that you are trying to control yourself, which means
you aren't actually smooth - it's a front you're putting on. The subconscious minds of others
 around you read that, and are emboldened by it; "Aha!" they think. "See that!
He's uncomfortable! That mean's we're right!"

When you can be both emotionally unreactive to extreme emotions, and relaxed in the face of
them, you become extremely naturally smooth. Getting there, however, is the beginner's
challenge.

5. Work on being effortless. The great thing about working on being relaxed and working on
being effortless is that the two go hand in hand. When you slow down your movements, take
more time to respond to questions, take time to look someone in the eyes and smile first before
answering, and throw a lot of pregnant pauses into your communication, you give yourself time
to think, slow down the interaction, and cut into anyone else's ability to take control of the
conversation and start driving it down a path that's bad for you (it's hard to really grill someone
when he keeps taking his time, pausing a lot, and using good conversation guidelines and
turning the topic right back to you after he answers).

Let's give you some practical examples of all this. Here's how a conversation between a normal
girl and a normal guy will look:

Girl: So, do you have a girlfriend?

Guy: Um... [knows this is an important question; gets uncomfortable] ... no.

By reacting uncomfortably here, the guy communicates that:

He isn't in control
He's not used to being asked this

Further, through his response ("Umm... no"), he communicates that:

He isn't all that desirable (otherwise, he'd have a girlfriend)

He isn't lover material (otherwise, he'd have a far smoother answer than "yes" or "no")

Now let's say the guy's a beginner learner at how to be smooth, and he gets asked the same
question. Instead of the above dialogue, he has the following one:

Girl: So, do you have a girlfriend?

Guy: [slow smile spreads across his face as he's looking away; slowly he turns to look at her,
making eye contact half a second after his face has risen to meet hers] Why do you ask?

Girl: I'm just curious.

Guy: [smiles again, as if he knows EXACTLY why she asked and he's just playing along] Oh.
Well, no, I don't have a girlfriend. [leans in to look at her] Do you have a boyfriend?

That's probably a bit stronger than most beginners will pull off, but later on in the beginner phase
you'll put together responses that look a lot like that.

While the guy here is still giving the girl a definite answer, he's making her work for that answer,
and he's using nonverbal communication to imply here that he knows exactlywhy she's asking.

Here's another example, this one of a pull where a man's inviting a woman home with him, and
the woman is demurring. A normal man's attempt:

Guy: How about we get out of here?

Girl: And go where?

Guy: [knows he shouldn't be this direct, but feels like he has no choice] I thought we could go
back to my place.

Girl: I'm kind of tired. Maybe we can go to your place next time.

Guy: [knows he's being turned down, but figures, "Well, there's always next time!"] Okay.

This is a pretty awfully constructed pull, but you'd be amazed how many men try to get women
home with them with a pull like this.

It's little wonder so many guys call it "getting lucky." It's like playing tennis with a blindfold on.
It's a miracle if you manage to hit a ball back over the net.

Here's how a beginner at smooth who's been doing his homework is going to look:

Guy: Let's go somewhere a little more chill and less crowded.

Girl: Where?

Guy: [slow smile] It's a surprise. But it's better than here. Come on.

Girl: I'm kind of tired. Maybe we can go to there next time.

Guy: [ignores this and acts like it's a ridiculous suggestion] You can rest in the cab on the way
over. We're going. [takes her hand and leads]

This pull works far better, because this guy doesn't make it a big deal. This is where steadiness
and effortlessness comes into play - whereas for most guys, this is a HUGE deal ("I'm inviting
her home! Sex! Oh man... is she going to say yes? I don't know!"), and women pick up on that
 and it freaks them out, for the guy who's learning how to be smooth, he keeps himself calm and
steady and unenthusiastic and emotionally unreactive.

He stays smooth.

And when he does this properly - when he stays steady, keeps his enthusiasm and fear and
nervousness tamped down, and remains calm and unemotional - the girl doesn't pick up on
anything that would communicate that this is a big deal.

And since HE'S acting like it's not a big deal - SHE'S inclined to think it isn't, TOO.

One of the miracles of smoothness... even if you're only a beginner, and you're having
topretend to be calm and steady and effortless, if you do a good enough job at it, you will
actually make HER feel calm, and she'll be orders of magnitude more likely to go with you than
an ordinary, average, nervous guy who's making this simple act of going back to his place to do
something that humans do every day a GIGANTIC DEAL.

Make it not a big deal, be smooth, and be natural, and suddenly women are just coming along
with you like it's the most natural thing in the world... because for them, from the way you
communicated it to them, it is.

Intermediate Smooth

Intermediate smooth is about working on the same bullet points we discussed under beginner:

1. Tamping down enthusiasm

2. Tamping down other reactions too
3. Working on being steady
4. Working on being relaxed
5. Working on being effortless

Intermediate smooth is characterized by a more intrinsic origin for these much more of the time
(i.e., a man is more naturally less enthusiastic, more naturally relaxed, more naturally efficient,
etc., rather than having to pretend to be), as well as the realization and adoption of a few more
principles:

1. He builds intrigue more and better. If you go back to that clip of Kilmer from The Saint,
he plays a very intriguing character, and much of his power comes from that. Right away, Shue is
wondering who this guy is, where he comes from, what his story is, and all kinds of things. He's
snapped her out of autopilot, and he's all done it without anything contrived liked asking her for a
female opinion or telling her some long story.
2. He's more comfortable with intensity. Beginners struggle to be intense without losing
some degree of control of their emotions. External intensity = internal intensity. But once a man
becomes more in control of his emotions and more and more naturally smooth, he becomes better
able to channel his intensity without it feeding back and affecting him too (unless he wants to).
This includes through things like intense eye contact, putting social pressure on people (say, if
they're doing something silly or wrong), and forcing decisions ("Are you coming or not?"). A guy
who's intermediate is better able to do these things both calmly and intensely.

3. He's less reactive when hit with a "surprise." Everyone has unexpected things happen
to them and around them. An ordinary guy gets flustered; a beginner at smooth tries to control his
reactions. A man who's intermediate-level smooth, though, seems almost comfortable, and
doesn't take long to know the right way to react.

These aspects of intermediate smooth come more from experience applying and using the
techniques discussed under beginner than from any concerted effort on the part of the
intermediate learner. Smooth is becoming natural to him at this stage, through repeated use and
focus on it.

At this point, he starts catching lucky breaks, and pulling off things that he thought were
impossible, implausible, or highly unlikely. He invites two girls home with him, for instance, and
both say "yes;" or he tells a girl who's about to go back to her friends to change her mind and say,
and she does, despite him thinking she'll leave. He begins to surprise himself here, and starts
finding he can do more than he thought he could.

Advanced Smooth

The man who knows how to be smooth through and through, skin to bone, is what you could
consider completely "natural," or completely smooth. He doesn't think about trying to control
himself that much... he simply doesn't react strongly to emotionally heightened situations,
and he remains calm, steady, effortless, and in control.

A man who's become proficient at being smooth has a number of advantages over lesser men
when it comes to social interactions:

He's able to keep his focus on forward progress, not on putting out fires in his
interaction (e.g., a normal man thinks, "Oh no, she's asking me a tough question - what do I
say?" while a man proficiently smooth doesn't even think about this, he just addresses it, and
continues direction the interaction the way he wants it to go)

He's able to get outside the interaction and see the big picture - instead of being
engrossed with the minutiae, he's able to run his interactions on autopilot and instead look at the
 whole scene, noting, for instance, that her one friend doesn't seem to like him and might be a
problem later when he tries to pull, and realizing that he should get the girl to deal with her friend
directly rather than him try to manage things; and noting that the girl is friends with the bartender,
so he'll want to make sure he has her out of there before closing time, otherwise they won't be
able to slip off anonymously and she might even feel pressured to go with the bartender if the
bartender tries to get her out of there too

He isn't wasting time wondering if he's doing things right or whether he'll fail
or succeed - he knows how it's likely going to go, and what he'll do if it doesn't go the way he
wants it to. He has his process, his backup process, and he's also confident than even setbacks or
defeats aren't necessarily permanent.

The lack of fear of setback is probably the biggest advantage of the man who's proficiently
smooth, and this one simply comes from going through enough situations smoothly that he knows
that so long as he remains steady, unreactive, and in control, he'll almost always be able to handle
whatever setback occurs.

What's the difference between a man experienced with women who's smooth, and a guy who's
had a lot of girlfriends and lovers (e.g., a muscular jock, or a guy at the top of his social circle for
the moment) who isn't smooth?

The guy who isn't smooth, even if he's very experienced, still overreacts to setbacks,
demonstrating to women who are paying attention that his control isn't inherent - it's
environmentally-based only. So he overreacts, a girl leaves, and she doesn't come back - or if she
does, it's on her terms, and she's calling the shots.

The guy who is smooth, and experienced, doesn't overreact to setbacks, demonstrating to
women who are paying attention that his control is inherent to him- a very rare and very
attractive trait. It's at the very core of that ephemeral term "confidence" - here is a man who does
not fear setbacks, because he does not see them as setbacks.

Girl's asking tough questions? She'll settle down.

Girl's acting dramatic? It'll pass.
Girl's threatening to leave? She's not going to leave.
Girl's saying she isn't sure? Yes she is - she just doesn't know it yet.

This is how the man advanced at smooth thinks, because by being smooth, he's seen how
women actually react when they don't feel pressured.

Smoothness is ultimately a means of alleviating the pressure a girl feels of having to decide if a
guy is attractive enough, or if she's going to be judged by him, or face a harsh rejection from him,
or have to friend zone him or treat him like a boyfriend candidate.Because he's in control, and
she accepts his control, she can simply let go, and let him determine how things will play
out.

All she's got to do is decide if she can say "yes" and go along with what he's asking or not... and
the smoother he is, the easier it is for her to say "yes" (because things aren't a big deal), and the
quicker she is to trust his leadership.

Men who aren't smooth never experience this. They live life in a world of absolutes. A girl
says she's leaving? She does. A girl says she isn't sure? She means "no." These men never realize
that they create the world they experience... by being awkward, uncertain, and unsmooth in
the face of a woman's uncertainty or pressure, they tell her which way to go - away.

The smooth man, though... he places no expectations on her. He gives her no nervousness,
uncertainty, hesitation, or uncomfortable emotions in reaction to hers. Instead, he just sitsthere...
and smiles warmly... and continues to act as if he knows she will stay and go along with what he
wants. And because he acts this way, she feels reassured - and she does.

Being smooth like this is the key to transitioning successfully with women. It makes you able
to move girls with ease, able to kiss a girl with ease, able to take women to bedwith ease.

And it makes the whole process feel so natural that there's never even a hint of the "big deal feel"
that ordinary men wrap these transitions up in, tearing apart their chances.

The smooth man just does, naturally, effortlessly, steadily. And women do, right alongwith him.

Understanding Smooth
Now that you've read this article, and you've got a handle on what being smooth is all about - not
making everything "not a big deal," and tamping down and eventually ending the indications on
your part that most men have that communicate to women, nonverbally that things are a big deal -
does that mean you have now become a smooth operator by default?

Not quite. Not yet.

Because now, you've got to go out, meet women, and do these things.

If you haven't focused much on getting down the nuances of how to be smooth before,you'll have
your work cut out for you. You'll start to find it annoying how hard it is to not have an awkward
smile on your face in some situations... to not have your voice tremble... to not be hesitant, or say
the wrong thing, or fail to move fast when you should or persist when you should.
But keep working on it. Learn to control your reactions so that they aren't wild or extreme. You
never see Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or Val Kilmer, or James Bond bug their eyes out and say,
"Wow! That's amazing!"

Women do that. Those guys just smile slowly, and say, "Yeah. It's cool, isn't it?"

Because they're smooth.

You don't see those guys drop their heads and say, "Okay, maybe next time," when a woman
refuses their invitation. Instead, you see them chuckle a bit, and either say, "Come on," or simply
smile and stare at her as if she's said something ridiculous... until she recants.

That's your objective with smooth. That's where you're working to get to, and where your
ultimate goal lies.

Because once you are smooth with women... everything just happens a lot more easily.

And instead of worrying about how you're going to answer this tough question you're being
grilled with... you're wondering how soon you can pull her: 5 minutes from now, or 10 minutes
from now?

And you'll smile to yourself, and realize you'll just have to play it by ear.

Yours,
Chase Amante

It's a date if...

He asks using the phrase, "Have dinner with me."

He brings you flowers.
He takes you somewhere fancy, dimly lit, quaint or with live piano
music.
He offers to pay and refuses your attempts to go half-and-half.
He goes out of his way to walk or drive you home. (Bonus points if he
texts you goodnight or even good morning to ask if you slept well.)
He's planned out the whole evening.
He tries to feed you.
He prolongs the night for as long as possible.
 He makes at least one attempt at physical affection. We're not even
talking about a full-blown kiss herehair-touching, arms across your
shoulders, and elbow-guiding are all fair game.

It's not a date if:

He asks if you want to "tag along" to some event he would have

attended regardless.
He asks using the phrase "hang out" or "grab food," especially if he
brings it up at the last second.
He doesn't offer to pay.
He talks about another love interest.
During dinner, he asks if you want to meet up with his friends
afterward.
He keeps a foot of distance between you at all times.
He calls you "buddy" or "pal." (Hello, friend zone!)
You eat at a fast-food joint.
The love chain. First off, not all women are ALWAYS putting you in the friend zone. The dating game is very
cyclical, so you have to pay attention. Sure, you may be interested in her, but if shes giving you clear signals that
shes not interested in anything more than just being friends, move on. Im sure you have a few girlfriends
around you who would like to get to know you better who youve shutout yourself, so get over it and keep an
open mind. The Nice Guy effect. Is it possible to be too nice? Of course it is. Unfortunately we females dont
always behave rationally. Sure, we usually complain that guys are just assholes and are immature and avoid
anything resembling a committed relationship. However, we also tend to overlook nice guys and choose the
bad boys. Its not that we want to be treated like shit or anything, but bad boys are just more interesting and
mysterioustheir confidence is attractive and sexy. Subconsciously we ignore the fact that there is a higher
probability that they might hurt us, but we choose them anyway, hoping that this guy will be different. The same
way a lot of us tend to choose bad guys, we tend to ignore nice guys. Paradoxically, if you show us ladies that
you are confident in yourself, and that you can say no to us from time to time, we will start to notice you more.
How weird does that sounddont be too nice to that hot girl youre interested in. You just arent her type From
what I have noticed, guys are a little more flexible when it comes to the types of girls they are interested in. If a
girl is hot and isnt too annoying and can actually hold a conversation, usually a guy will at least ask her for her
number or out on a date, but for us ladies its more complicated. We are pretty particular when it comes to the
types of men we are interested in: dont take it personally. For example, if shes only into older guys, she wont
be afraid to put younger guys into the friend zone. If shes into professional types with money, she isnt going to
be impressed by a teacher. If shes only into tall muscular guys, then shes not going to be impressed by the
small, intellectual type. If she wants something serious but you are a total man-whore who can have anyone
she will friend zone you too, and so on. Usually even our closest friends arent aware of the types of guys we are
into. If we meet a guy who is cute and interesting, we might be flattered that hes into us, but probably wouldnt let
him out of the friend zone You should project yourself as a potential boyfriend No matter what you think of when
you think of us ladies, you have to remember that we have an animal side as well. If we see a guy thats smart,
supportive, and willing to do things for us without anything in return, of course we are going to be friends with
him? Who wouldnt be? But if you reading this article youd probably rather be a boyfriend, or at least a friend with
benefits. I would suggest showing that hot girl youre interested in more of your masculine side. Show her that
youre confident and that other women are interested in you. If you are only interested in that one girl that has
put you in the friend zone, dont limit yourself to only her company. Go out with the other girls and show her that
other women find you desirable and enjoy your company. A feeling of competition between us ladies is always a
turn-on. Youre making it too easy Humans often continue to act like children into adulthood. Similarly, like
children, if the same old toy that we are comfortable with is always around, we get bored. What we really want is
a new toy, a toy that other people want to play with. Sorry for this metaphor, but Im afraid its the closest way to
illustrate the truth. If you want a girl, you cant always be there for her. We ladies are players too, and we want to
know that we have to put in some effort. If a guy is too obvious with his feelings, sometimes we get freaked out
and demote him.. Learn to say no to her from time to time. Being aware of the potential reasons why youve been
Friend Zoned may help you solve the problem and take your relationship to the next level. Good luck! - See
more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/women-always-friend-zone-jvinc/#sthash.FImLs2RH.dpuf