ICCFA Magazine May 2019
ICCFA Magazine May 2019
ICCFA Magazine May 2019
MAGAZINE
CEMETERY CREMATION FUNERAL
KIP 2018
Awards for
personalized
services and
products:
Cedar Memorial
funeral director
memorialized her
lost baby by helping
other families
Before I Die Festival
brings community
together to discuss
life and death issues
Loyless plans a fitting
sendoff at golf club
Jackson
Lytle & Lewis’
field of flags
Aftercare via texting
A walking stick + urn
Also in this issue:
• How to put your
operation on the map
• Due diligence when
buying a cemetery
• Being a great listener
Inside: Check out the college programs for ICCFA University, July 19-24, 2019
Introducing our newest addition to personalization...
4 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
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910-555-5555
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
ICCFA news
48 Are ‘U’ ready for the 2019 session
of ICCFA University? and supported by death care organizations, is a winner.
July 19-24, Fogelman Executive Center, A Good Goodbye, Albuquerque, New Mexico
University of Memphis, Tennessee
Welcome 26 Field of flags covering funeral home’s front lawn honors mili-
Chancellor Jeff Kidwiler, CCE, CSE tary veterans
College of Hospitality & Event Planning Jackson Lytle & Lewis Celebration of Life Center, Springfield, Ohio
Dean John Bolton, CCE, CCrE, CSE 30 MARKETING & TECHNOLOGY
49 College of 21st Century Services How to put your operation on the map—literally You don’t see
Dean Glenda Stansbury, CC people using phone books and fold-out maps to find places anymore.
College of Cremation Services Addresses, maps and directions are easily available on a smartphone,
Dean Jim Starks, CFuE, CCrE which is why you need to make sure your location as well as your
50 College of Funeral Home organization’s name and phone number are easy to find that way.
Management by Welton Hong
Dean Todd Van Beck, CFuE 34 MANAGEMENT: FINANCES
College of International Studies Cemetery Impossible: How to evaluate price & do due diligence on
Dean Jim Hammond a cemetery for sale by Dan Isard, MSFS
College of Land Management &
36 PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
Grounds Operations
The 2 1/2 minute manager: ‘I’m a great listener—just listen to
Dean Gino Merendino
how great a listener I am!’ by Todd W. Van Beck, CFuE
51 College of Leadership,
Administration & Management
Dean Gary Freytag, CCFE ICCFA calendar
go to www.iccfa.com for program, registration & scholarship info
J. Asher Neel College of Sales &
Marketing
2019 Crematory Operator Training
Dean Gary O’Sullivan, CCFE
May 28, Mid-America College of Funeral Service,
52 Educational Foundation awards Jeffersonville, Indiana
85 scholarships to attend July 16, Dallas Institute of Funeral Service, Dallas Texas
the 2019 session of ICCFA University
ICCFA Cremation Program Coordinator Poul Lemasters, Esq.
2019 PLPA College
July 17-19, Holiday Inn, University of Memphis, Memphis,
Tennessee, PLPA Chair Roberta Knauf, CPLP;
Education Chair Leslie Reid, CPLP
Catch the WIRELESS newsletter in your
inbox for industry news, stories about colleagues 2019 ICCFA University
making headlines and updates on ICCFA July 19-24, Fogelman Conference Center,
educational events & conferences
University of Memphis, Memphis, Tennessee,
Chancellor Jeff Kidwiler, CCE, CSE
Follow the ICCFA’s LinkedIn
page to read breaking news about
colleagues, the profession and the 2019 Fall Management Conference
association September 25-27, Hyatt Regency Tamaya,
http://bit.ly/2du252P
Santa Ana Pueblo, New Mexico
Co-chairs Stacy Adams and Steve Feliciano
Follow the ICCFA on Twitter
to receive instant updates on the 2020 Wide World of Sales Conference
association’s educational events January 15-17, Luxor Las Vegas, Nevada
& conferences Co-chairs Yvonne Slonaker, CCrE, and Don Winsett
http://twitter.com/iccfa
Like and follow the ICCFA 2020 ICCFA Convention & Expo
to read up-to-date news on the March 30-April 2, Henry B. Gonzalez Convention Center
industry, ICCFA members making & Grand Hyatt, San Antonio, Texas
headlines and ICCFA events &
Co-chairs Gino Merendino and Robbie Pape
promotions
6 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
If all insurance
assignment companies
say they pay fast and
are easy to work with,
why do twice as many
funeral homes choose
C&J?
The numbers speak for themselves. Over 2,800 funeral homes have selected
C&J to handle their insurance funding, more than twice our next closest
competitor. Is it because we assign a personal account manager to every client?
Or is it because we treat every client like our only client? Or is it because our
biggest source of new clients is referrals from our current ones?
Yes, yes and yes! In every business, there’s one gold standard.
In Insurance Assignment Funding, it’s C&J.
CJF.com | 800.785.0003
& You
Washington Report
by ICCFA General Counsel
Body broker bill introduced
C
Robert M. Fells, Esq.
[email protected] ongressmen Bobby L. Rush (D-Ill.) industry has been largely unregulated and
1.800.645.7700, and Gus M. Bilirakis (R-Fla.) sadly many families have been exploited
ext. 1212 have introduced H.R. 1835, the for profit. Our bill gives family members
direct line: 703.391.8401 Consensual Donation and Research the peace of mind of knowing that their
➤Fells is ICCFA general Integrity Act of 2019. This legislation will wishes are being honored.”
counsel, responsible for create a registration and tracking system “Body brokers have made an untold
maintaining and improv for bodies and body parts donated for amount of money at the expense of grief-
ing relationships with research and guarantees their respectful stricken loved ones. By introducing this
federal and state govern disposition. legislation, we are sending a clear message
ment agencies, the news H.R. 1835 amends the Public Health that this practice is unacceptable. I am
media and consumer organizations. Service Act to ensure the consensual grateful to Rep. Bilirakis for joining me in
➤ Fells has worked on behalf of the ceme donation and respectful disposition of this important effort and I know we both
tery and funeral service profession on legal human bodies and human body parts look forward to its passage,” said Rep.
and legislative issues since 1975 and joined donated or transferred for education, Rush.
the ICCFA staff in 1983. He is retired from research, or the advancement of medical, At the writing, the text of H.R. 1835 has
his position as the association’s executive dental or mortuary science. not been published. The ICCFA supports
director, which he held for six years.
Rep. Bilirakis stated, “This important the concept of federally regulating the
➤ He has published legislation provides safeguards to ensure body broker industry but awaits the
a number of books. that human remains are disposed of in availability of the bill’s text prior to
His latest, “The Curse a manner that preserves the dignity and commenting on it. r
of the Tomb,” brings
choices of the patient or next of kin. The
back Maj. Alexander
Armstrong, who featured
in two previous books.
The discoveries of New OT rules, threshold proposed
I
the royal tomb of King
Tutankhamen creates a n March, the U.S. Department of Labor went into effect due to court decisions
huge black market in forgeries of antiquities (DOL) announced its new proposed blocking it in 2016 and 2017.
where the stakes include murder, and the rules for increasing the salary threshold The DOL estimates that under the new
British government seeks assistance from for exemptions to mandatory overtime rule, over 1 million employees will be
the Americans. under the Fair Labor Standards Act. The eligible for overtime for the first time. This
new proposal would increase the salary is more modest than the Obama-era rule
threshold, under which all workers must be referenced above, which was expected to
paid overtime for working over 40 hours impact more than 4 million employees.
per week, to over $35,000 per year. Public comments will be requested by
The current salary threshold—which DOL when the rulemaking proceedings
was last updated in 2004—is $455 per formally begin. To read more information
week ($23,660 per year). That number was on the DOL proposal, go to www.hrlegalist.
set to double, to almost $47,500 per year, com/2019/03/ew-salary-thresnew-overtime-
in December 2016, but it never actually rule-unveiled-nhold/?lang=en. r
8 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
by Poul Lemasters, Esq.
LEGAL
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DANNY JEFFERSON
PIERCE-JEFFERSON FUNERAL SERVICE
I had no family in the business or employee ready They did exactly what they said, and I’m forever
to tackle ownership. There was no one prepared indebted to them. I get emotional thinking about
to succeed me, and protecting my employees and how they embraced me. The business has grown
continuing to care for my community was extremely dramatically, and my employees and my community
important. Other potential partners presented welcomed the change. When looking ahead, ask
options, but I felt like they didn’t want me - they yourself, “Is my potential partner going to do what
wanted the business. At Foundation Partners Group, they promised years down the road?” At Foundation
they valued me, and the business. Partners, the answer is a resounding yes!
12 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
P E R S O N A L I Z E D S E R V I C E OR MEMORIAL
Loyless Funeral Home matched a widow with a celebrant who could help
her plan a service that would celebrate all aspects of her late husband’s life.
➤2018 Honorable
Mention:
Loyless Funeral Home,
Tampa, Florida
The front and back of the funeral folder designed by Loyless Funeral Home for
Les Brown.
Loyless
Loyless gave golf official and veteran
founder
fitting tribute at golf course clubhouse
“B
John E.
Loyless.
y the rules of golf for fairway fun” for the service that would set the stage for a
was just one line in the opening successful celebration of life. They first decided
poem Loyless Funerall Home used that the service would take place at his home
to set the scene of the memorial service for Les golf course’s clubhouse, overlooking the course
Brown. Brown had been a USGA rules official where he had played many times.
Certified for many years, so after meeting with his wife, Cocktails would be served as guests arrived
Celebrant Judy, and planning his service, celebrant Laura and while they took time to watch the video
and funeral Holland knew that this was going to be a special tribute the funeral home put together and t o
director one which would be able to really showcase look over important memorial items placed in
Laura
Brown’s interests and pay tribute to the amazing the lobby for guests to reminisce about.
Holland.
man he was. Those items displayed included pictures of
First, after receiving the call that Les had Les being a rules official for many different
passed away, the Loyless staff secured an tournaments. One photo, his favorite, pictured
appointment time for the funeral director in him with Jack Nicholas, looking at Jack’s ball in
charge, Bud Walsh, to meet with Judy. During a hazard. Items also showcaded his love of the
their time together, Walsh decided that Holland University of Kansas, running, The Royal School
would be a great match to continue developing of Artillery and other military services.
the plan for Brown’s celebration of life. Once the service started, Les’ sister-in-
While meeting with Judy, Loyless staff law sang, his service to the country was
spoke about what special things they could do acknowledged with full military honors and
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P E R S O N A L I Z E D S E R V I C E OR MEMORIAL
Above left, memorabilia from Brown’s years as a USGA official, and, above right,
as a Kansas University Jayhawks fan.
Celebrant Laura Holland speaks during the celebration of life, which included full
military honors for the deceased.
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ADVANCEMENT
A D VA N TAG E
® POWERED BY
➤First place:
The Domani Group, Domanicare takes aftercare into the
Orem, Utah
modern era through text messaging
D
www.thedomani
group.com
omanicare is a text message-based
aftercare program. Because funerals aren’t
What the judges said
a common occurrence in people’s lives
n Great use of technology
to keep in touch with people and because people don’t interface with the funeral
afterwards. home too often, funeral homes use aftercare as an
opportunity to nurture families and maintain or
n Text message-based after-
care is very progressive and a increase brand loyalty. That way, when the need
great way to interact with those arises again, they’ll turn to that funeral home again
who have suffered a lost. instead of a competitor.
n Gives the funeral home the Traditionally, most aftercare programs fall into
ability to show they care in a one of two categories: Personalized and time-
timely manner, offering comfort consuming, or efficient and impersonal. It can
in a time of grief and providing take a lot of time for a funeral director or funeral
families a way to share their home owner to write a card, or call all the families
feelings, ask for help and give they have helped. Funeral directors are usually so
feedback on the service they busy helping the families who currently need them
received. that they don’t have time to do all the follow-up
n Great way to stay in touch themselves.
with families without being Because of this lack of time, some funeral homes
intrusive. have tried to automate their aftercare programs
n An effective relationship either themselves or by outsourcing to a third party.
product that allows a funeral The most common aftercare medium is a series of
home to maintain its brand templated cards sent on significant dates throughout
awareness without becoming the year. The problem with this method, though
impersonal.
efficient, is that it’s impersonal and impossible to
know how well/poorly the message was received.
That’s why we developed Domanicare. Because
Domanicare is delivered through text messaging,
it is highly personal. The first text is sent any time
from one week to a month after the funeral service
with custom, personalized message from the funeral
home. This first message is very compassionate and
warm. The template that most funeral homes use is
below:
Hi [first name], this is Elizabeth with [funeral The initial Domanicare text messages and
some of replies it has generated.
home name]. [Funeral director name] asked me
to reach out and let you know we were thinking Most of the time it’s relationship-based,
about you today and wanted to check in and see and we continue the conversation and express
how you're doing. We know how challenging these condolences and support. Occasionally, the
first weeks can be. Please let me know if there’s family will have questions or need something
The Domani anything we can do for you. from the funeral home. In those instances, it
Group founder The response to this initial text has been pheno is escalated right away to the funeral home,
and CEO John menal. We see an average 45 percent response rate and we’ll either pass the conversation off to
Lefrandt. to this text. All responses have been very positive the funeral home, or we’ll obtain and send the
and appreciative. When families do respond, one of requested information to the family. It depends
our highly trained, compassionate text monitors will on the type of question and preference of the
respond and continue the conversation. funeral home.
18 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
PERSONALIZED PRODUCT
LED Lighting Solutions
for Memorial Products
E N E R G Y S AV E R
E A SY T O I N S TA L L
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The TOLAD walking stick turns the idea of scattering in nature into
a processional, hands-on ritual for the deceased’s loved ones.
➤Honorable Mention:
UPD Urns,
Manassas, Virginia
www.updurns.com
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K I P A WA R D S 2 0 1 8 : P E R S O N A L I Z E D P R O D U C T
A walk with the TOLAD can be combined with some sort of ceremony to make the experience even more meaningful.
app that can be downloaded. With this this site, so it will become a wonderful other time. People might choose to hold an
app, the route of the walk is saved to a in memoriam site remembering the loved annual remembrance walk.
commemoration site. All who are invited one’s life. Relatives who couldn’t join The TOLAD contributes to a personal
can add photographs and messages to the initial walk can walk the route some and respectful farewell ritual. r
<RXU2QH6RXUFHIRU&HPHWHU\)XQHUDO+RPHDQG%XULDO9DXOW
(TXLSPHQW0DQXIDFWXULQJWKH+LJKHVW4XDOLW\3URGXFWV6LQFH
ƒVDOHV#KROODQGVXSSO\LQFFRPRUYLVLWZZZKROODQGVXSSO\LQFFRP
Visit the new and improved www.iccfa.com May 2019 21
2 0 1 8 K I P A WA R D S : E V E N T
22 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
A couple dressed for the Dia de los KOAT-TV at Sunset Memorial Park to do
Muertos Marigold Parade. a story on the Before I Die Festival.
Digital Assets Related to Death,” “How to Based on encouraging feedback from Insurance Co. (NGL), French Funerals
Reach a Gentle Death in New Mexico” and festival attendees, a third annual Before I & Cremations, EstatePros, Morris Hall,
a panel discussion with three Albuquerque Die New Mexico Festival is being planned Legacy Concierge, Passages International
funeral directors. for the first week of November 2019. and Zia Trust.
In addition to the festival participants, A portion of sponsor fees were donated Festival partners included Osher
hundreds more learned about Before I Die to the festival’s charitable partner, Fathers Lifelong Learning Institute at the Univer
New Mexico at the Marigold Parade in Building Futures. This nonprofit social sity of New Mexico, La Puerta Natural
Albuquerque. At this annual event, people enterprise provides jobs and skills to Burial Ground, Fathers Building Futures,
dress in costumes and wear calavera (skull) previously incarcerated parents, reducing The Guild Cinema, LifeIzShort.com,
makeup for Day of the Dead celebrations. recidivism. They build pine caskets that Berardinelli Family Funeral Service,
Rubin connected with parade attendees are kosher for Jewish burial and fine wood Daniels Family Funeral Services, Children’s
by wheeling a mini-float based on a casket cremation urns in their woodworking shop. Grief Center of New Mexico, Central New
built by Fathers Building Futures. She The Before I Die NM Festival was Mexico Community College, Compassion
distributed materials from festival sponsors made possible by sponsors Eternity & Choices NM Action Team, National
about planning ahead on end-of-life issues. Gardens.com, National Guardian Life Hispanic Cultural Center and others. r
24 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
2 0 1 8 K I P A WA R D S : E V E N T
This funeral home turns its front lawn into an Honor Field,
where from the anniversary of D-Day to Flag Day they display
hundreds of American flags to honor the service of military veterans.
➤Honorable mention:
Jackson Lytle & Lewis
Life Celebration Center,
Springfield, Ohio
26 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
Make 2019
your Year of
We’ll help you get more yeses with our holistic Preneed 360° approach:
• Training • Support
• Marketing • Partnership with a
• Products highly- rated company1
1
Ratings apply to the individual financial strength of Forethought Life Insurance Company and do not apply to any specific product.
Ratings as of December 31, 2018.
Global Atlantic Financial Group (Global Atlantic) is the marketing name for Global Atlantic Financial Group Limited and its subsidiaries,
including Forethought Life Insurance Company. Each subsidiary is responsible for its own financial and
contractual obligations.
PRE1393 (04-19) ©2019 Global Atlantic
K I P A WA R D S : E V E N T
Right,
a view
of the
approxi-
mately
400 flags
set up at
Jackson
Lytle &
Lewis Cel-
ebration
of Life
Center.
Below,
part of the
program
for the
lunch
honoring
veter-
ans held
to kick
off the
weeklong
Honor
Field.
Left, veter-
ans enjoy
lunch with
members of
the com-
munity who
attended to
hear their
stories and
thank them
for their
service.
Below,
volunteers
set up the
Honor Field.
28 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
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ew technological advances in the past of business you have, it’s pretty important
➤Ring Ring Marketing offers a decade have been as beneficial to for people to be able to find you. If you’re
comprehensive suite of marketing everyday Americans as online maps not showing up on a physical map of their
services, from broad techniques such as and their coordination with GPS navigation. local area, won’t that seem a little strange to
reputation management, pay-per-click
No more pulling out an enormous paper potential clientele?
advertising, local search optimization,
email marketing and website content
map to figure out where you’re driving—
generation, to more surgical tools such or having to figure out how to refold it Number one in maps:
as geotargeting, remarketing and social when you’re done. No more stopping to Google (of course)
media marketing. ask a stranger on the corner where to find Google isn’t the king of the hill for
a destination in a strange city. No more everything, of course. Google has never made
presumably heading east for an hour only to your favorite pizza or produced an Oscar-
discover you were actually driving west all winning movie. (But give it time. Outside of
along. Amazon, there’s arguably no more ambitious
Instead, GPS lets you know exactly where company in the world.)
you are at all times. If you’re using automatic However, for most aspects of promoting
navigation, either through your smartphone your organization online, Google is always
or your vehicle itself, it will let you know the place to start. And that’s true of its Maps
when you’re going the wrong way—and function as well.
immediately find the best route to get you While the crowdsourcing-powered
back on track. Waze has rapidly grown in popularity in
And if you’re in a strange place and need recent years for the basic function of getting
a repair shop to replace a flat tire? A hotel? A around town—thanks to its ability to identify
bank? A place to eat? accidents, road closures, alternative routes,
No problem. Just ask for the type of etc.—there’s one important thing to keep in
business you need and the map app will get mind: Google actually owns Waze. Google
you there. purchased the GPS navigation app for $966
Obviously, that’s why it’s critical for your million in 2013.
business to show up on a digital map if you It’s also notable that the feature people
have an auto repair shop, or a hotel. love most about Waze—the ability for drivers
What’s not as obvious is why you need to report incidents in real time, alerting fellow
to appear on a map if you’re a death care travelers of paths to avoid or watch out for—
business. soon will be coming to Google Maps, as well.
Why would a cremation provider need to Last year, Google Maps also added
appear on a digital map? Is anyone driving restaurant recommendations personalized for
around and suddenly needing to navigate to a the user—which is pretty easy for Google,
crematorium, a cemetery or a funeral home? frankly, because it’s constantly collecting
Of course not. But that doesn’t mean death data on what you search for, and thus what
care businesses are exempt from needing to interests you. Additionally, Google added
show up on online maps. In fact, it’s critically its Assistant capabilities to Maps in January
important for search engine optimization and 2019, letting you execute voice-controlled
your organization’s overall visibility. options such as adding a stop on your route.
Also, let’s be honest: No matter what type All of that means Google Maps just keeps
30 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
“Providing uniquely beautiful and innovative interment
and service options with care, integrity, and respect has
become the hallmark of Cedar Memorial.”
C. John Linge – 3rd generation owner of Cedar Memorial
www.ZontecSolution.com
32 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
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MANAGEMENT: FINANCES
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Become a “whole-body” listener. Listen with your ears, your eyes and, particularly in funeral and
cemetery service, with your heart. Build rapport by mirroring your speaker’s gestures,
expressions and voice patterns. This does help to create a comfortable communication.
10. I understand my biases and control Here are some practical steps you can take and show the other person you are interested
them when I am listening. in learning to be genuinely interested in what and give you time to think about a good
r Yes r No our client families are saying to us. response.
11. I refrain from constantly interrupting. Remember statistics say that when a 2. Listen now, talk later. Plan to tell
r Yes r No funeral home or cemetery loses a call, it can someone else in the funeral home/cemetery
12. I value eye contact and maintain it be traced to someone on the staff who was what the client family said, what you heard,
most of the time. rude, discourteous and/or did not listen. This and you will remember it better later. Make
r Yes r No truth is applicable to all communication, but sure what you tell someone else in the funeral
13. I often restate or paraphrase what is of particular sensitivity when it comes to home does not breach a confidence, and does
the speaker said to make sure I have the “telephone shoppers.” not ridicule the client family.
correct meaning. Here is the number one skill necessary 3. Learn to want to listen. You truly need
r Yes r No for effective listening: Shut up! It is a to have desire, interest, self-discipline and
14. I listen for the speaker’s emotional physiological impossibility for a human being concentration to be a good listener.
meaning (grief communication) as well as to talk and listen at the same time—it cannot 4. Be present. Watch for the tendency to
subject matter content. be accomplished, ever. daydream.
r Yes r No Here are some things to think about: 5. Anticipate excellence. We get good
15. I ask questions for clarification. • Funeral and cemetery service work and communication more often when we
r Yes r No listening are inseparable. expect it.
16. I do not finish other people’s sentences • Lazy listening is a hidden but costly way 6. Become a “whole-body” listener. Listen
unless asked to do so. of doing business—we lose calls because of with your ears, your eyes and, particularly in
r Yes r No it. funeral and cemetery service, with your heart.
17. When listening on the telephone, • We listen for our own reasons and we 7. Build rapport by mirroring your
I keep one hand free to take notes. also don’t listen for our own reasons, so speaker’s gestures, expressions and
r Yes r No having an attitude of offering high quality voice patterns. This does help to create a
18. I attempt to set aside my ego and focus service to others is paramount in effective comfortable communication.
on the speaker rather than on myself. listening skills. 8. Control distractions and interruptions.
r Yes r No • People who are excellent at listening stay Controlling internal and external distractions
19. I am careful to judge the message out of more trouble than people who refuse helps you manage your work in the helping
rather than the speaker. to listen and want to talk all the time. Recall interview more effectively.
r Yes r No the sage advice of President Calvin Coolidge: 9. Give the gift of listening generously.
20. I am a patient listener most of the time. “You will never be asked to repeat something Listening is a skill but it is also a gift, so give
r Yes r No you haven’t said.” it away.
The following grading scale will help 10. Hot buttons: Many in funeral and
you interpret your current listening skill Tips for better listening cemetery service are ultra-sensitive to any
level, based on your current attitudes and As cynical and negative as this sounds, it remote possibility of criticism, suggestions
behaviors: seems abundantly true: We listen best when for improvement and/or having their
• 1-5 “no” answers: You are an there is a payoff or a penalty. I know I do emotional “hot buttons” pushed.
excellent listener. Keep it up! this. If I detect that the person who is talking The result of this ultra-sensitivity on the
• 6-10 “no” answers: You are a good has something really good for me, then no funeral/cemetery professional’s part is that
listener, but can improve. question I am all ears. client families are ridiculed (behind their
• 11-15 “no” answers: Through practice, Conversely, if I detect that the person I backs), called “weird” or “kooks” or, to
you can become a much more effective am talking to—and that person has some use modern parlance, “high maintenance,”
listener in your funeral interviewing and authority over me—is annoyed and provoked when in reality the client family has pushed a
personal relationships. with me, then once again, I am all ears. funeral/cemetery professional’s “hot button.”
• 16-20 “no” answers: Listen up! I truly try to listen, but sometimes I am Client families who request new service
mighty fickle about communication. How ideas can push “hot buttons” at times.
Practical steps to develop ever, there are some ideas I have tried very Knowing what makes you react emotionally
interest in what others say hard to incorporate in my life and work, and is your key to preventive maintenance.
I have long held to the idea that there is they have helped in my communication. I still
no such thing as an uninteresting topic flop many times, but I have found these 10 Coping skills
concerning anything to do with funeral and/ simple steps useful, and I hope you will, too. Here then are 10 coping skills for preventive
or cemetery services, there are simply some 1. In professional communications, take maintenance when your hot button is
uninterested people in our profession. notes. Use a writing pad. They aid retention activated by how a client family, or a co-
38 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
The result of this ultra-sensitivity on the funeral/cemetery professional’s part is that client families are
ridiculed (behind their backs), called “weird” or “kooks” or, to use modern parlance, “high maintenance,”
when in reality the client family has pushed a funeral/cemetery professional’s “hot button.”
worker, or a friend or even family member is problem, you have failed me, odd as that may I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational,
communicating with you: seem. All I asked of you was that you listen to then I can quit trying to convince you and
1. Listen attentively without interrupting. me, not talk or do—simply listen to me. can get about the business of understanding
Take several deep breaths to help you control Advice is cheap. For the price of a dollar, what’s behind these irrational feelings.
your reactions. I can get advice from Dear Abby and a host Irrational feelings only make sense when
2. Make a conscious choice about your of others in the same newspaper. I can do we understand what is behind them.
response. Think this out! You have basically that for myself; I am not helpless. I may Maybe this is why prayer works. Because
two choices: work it out, or ignore it. Trying be discouraged and faltering, but I am not God does not talk, God only listens and then,
to solve the issue is the best way to keep it helpless. in time, the direction we should take becomes
from happening again. When you do something for me that clear.
3. Acknowledge the other person’s I can and need to do for myself, you are So please listen and just hear me. Give me
feelings. It is okay for people to not feel the contributing to my fears and weaknesses. time. And if you wish to talk, wait for your
same as you do. But when you accept as a simple fact that turn, and then I will listen to you. r
4. Ask objective questions for clarification.
Open-ended question skills are useful.
5. Try to see the other person’s point of
view.
6. Stick to the subject. Don’t let other
issues interfere.
7. Be patient. Problems don’t always have
immediate solutions. Be patient with the other
person and yourself.
8. Gently, humbly express your point of
view. Nothing of value has ever been said at
the top of one’s lungs, and the next thing you
know you are charging into a real battle.
9. Explain. A reasonable explanation can
often take the sting out of an emotional issue.
10. Work out a “win-win” plan. Make sure
your solution is fair and workable for both (or May '19:Layout 1 4/9/19 1:35 PM Page 1
all) people involved.
This list is far from complete or
perfect—I don’t believe that a perfect list,
when you’re dealing with human beings, The opportunity to choose a Keepsake Pendant
exists. However, this is a beginning, and presents itself only once.
in my experience it has helped people The comfort a Keepsake Pendant offers, lasts a lifetime.
improve their ability to communicate TM
40 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
Who Supplies
the Suppliers?
For funeral and cemetery suppliers, business
has never been more isolating. Often ideas
are done in a vacuum. What you know is only
what you know, which limits how far you can
go. IMSA membership can change that. We’ve
brought together some of the top industry
experts to offer our members free one-on-
one advice on marketing, business planning,
legal issues and more. We also bring to
our members insightful business-boosting
webinars, meaningful industry resources and
networking with other IMSA members. All this
for just $175 a year. We’re the only association
serving all funeral and cemetery suppliers.
Because what’s good for the suppliers is
good for the providers and that’s good for the
families. IMSA. Supplying opportunity.
www.IMSA-Online.com
IMSA members now get free consultation with Dan Katz & Rolf Gutknecht of LA ads, Jake Johnson
of Johnson Consulting, Ryan Thogmartin of Disrupt Media and Poul Lemasters of Lemasters Consulting.
S U P P LY L I N E
42 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
S U P P LY L I N E
© 2019 Regions Bank. Some products and services are made available through
Regions Asset Management, a business unit within Regions Wealth Management. |
Regions and the Regions logo are registered trademarks of Regions Bank. The LifeGreen
color is a trademark of Regions Bank.
Investment, Insurance and Annuity Products:
Are Not FDIC Insured | Are Not a Deposit | May Go Down in Value | Are Not Bank Guaranteed
Are Not Insured by Any Federal Government Agency | Are Not a Condition of Any Banking Activity
n FOUNDATION PARTNERS
GROUP, Orlando, Florida, has ac-
quired David C. Gross Funeral Homes
and Cremation Centers, located in St.
Petersburg and Clearwater, Florida, and
Hebrew Memorial Funeral Services in
Sarasota, Florida. The acquisition expands
Foundation Partners presence in Florida
to 24 locations. Gross began his career by
purchasing an existing funeral home in St.
Petersburg in 1979, just as he was graduat-
ing from mortuary school, making him the
youngest licensed funeral home owner in
Florida. After acquiring several competi-
tors in the ’80s and ’90s, Gross expanded
Above left, Myra Kivett (left) and Carrolle Banks (right) with Maureen Lindley, vice
to a second location in Clearwater in 2010. president of marketing at Flanner Buchanan. Above right, Carrie Smith.
He expanded again in 2015 with Hebrew
Memorial at the request of the local Jewish and Carrolle Banks were both selected as ington Park East in Indianapolis. Musician
community. the Volunteer of the Year and Carrie Smith, and former Indianapolis Colts player Hunter
a social worker with IU Health & Hospice, Smith was the keynote speaker. Flanner
n FLANNER BUCHANAN, Indianapo- was selected as the Caregiver of the Year at Buchanan, along with Legacy Cremation &
lis, Indiana, recently honored volunteers. the sixth annual Hospice Awards Banquet Funeral Services, honored all 2018 Caregiv-
Kindred Hospice volunteers Myra Kivett held at the Community Life Center at Wash- ers and Volunteers of the Month.
44 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
Thank You ICCFA Members
TAP INTO the dynamic online supplier network of the ICCFA with the
ICCFA Supply Link. Powered by MultiView, the ICCFA Supply Link is
the premier search tool for your industry. All the products and services
you need, all within the supplier network of the associaton you trust.
Start your search at our homepage www.iccfa.com.
GWGREVER & WARD
& Cemetery Planners
3 8 0 2 N . B U F FA L O S T R E E T
INC.
O R C H A R D PA R K , N Y 1 4 1 2 7 - 1 8 4 0
others and brings lasting, beneficial behalf of the family. A separate celebration
change to the community.” Baddeliyanage of life was held at UVA.
was a resident advisor and vice chair for Those wishing to donate to the scholar
professional expectations and promotions ship fund may do so by following the link
in UVA Housing and Residence Life. at rehanlivingthedream.com or simply
He belonged to Theta Tau engineering iccfa.com/rehan.
Rehan fraternity and the IMP Society, a secret
society at UVA dedicated to unpublicized
Bennett Goldstein
Baddeliyanage
A scholarship foundation philanthropy. Bennett Goldstein, grandfa-
has been established to He lived present in the moment, ther of KAVOD executive
honor the memory of “living the dream,” as he always said, and director Jason Goldstein,
Rehan Baddeliyanage, 21, embodied the love of his family. died on March 12, 2019.
Sterling, Virginia, son of Survivors also include his father, He is also survived by two sons, three ad-
ICCFA Executive Director Ravi, a brother, Roshan; and grandmothers ditional grandchildren, six great-grandchil-
Nadira Baddeliyanage, who died March Mangala Baddeliyanage and Elaine dren and a brother.
12 while hiking a rainforest trail in Puerto Obeyesekera. Funeral services were held at
Rico with friends. The scholarship will A funeral mass was held at Christ the Rosenbergs Raphael-Sacks’ Philadelphia
help University of Virginia students afford Redeemer Catholic Church, Sterling, chapel, Pennsylvania. Intermnent was
their education. followed by a reception in the church hall. at Montefiore Cemetery in Philadelphia.
He was a senior at the University The service was preceeded by a sharing Shiva was observed at Beth Sholom
of Virginia, majoring in biomedial of memories by several people who had Congregation, Elkins Park, Pennsylvania.
engineering with a minor in business known him: the principal of his alma Memorial contributions can be made
engineering. He received the Kris Kishore mater, Dominion High School in Sterling; to Sonny Goldstein Memorial Fund at
Memorial Scholarship, awarded to a rising a friend from UVA; ICCFA Past President Abramson Senior Care, 1425 Horsham
fourth-year UVA student “to continue and ICCFAU Chancellor Jeff Kidwiler, Road, North Wales, PA 19454, or to Beth
leading a life of public service that inspires CCE, CSE; and a friend who spoke on Sholom Congregation. r
S U P P LY L I N E
46 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
New Members
Providing exceptional education, networking MEMBERSHIP APPLICATIONS
and legislative guidance and support to Admission to ICCFA membership normally requires a majority vote of
progressive cemetery, funeral and cremation those present and voting at any meeting of the executive committee.
professionals worldwide The names of all applicants must be published in this magazine. IC
FOR INFORMATION ABOUT THE ICCFA AND MEMBERSHIP CFA members objecting to an application must do so in writing to the
• Go to www.iccfa.com/membership to download a benefits ICCFA executive director within 45 days of publication. In the event of
brochure and an application form. an objection, the executive committee will conduct an inquiry. If an ap
plicant is rejected, they will be granted an appeal upon written request.
• Call 1.800.645.7700 to have membership information faxed or
The decision of the Board of Directors shall be final.
mailed to you.
Questions? Need some guidance? Email ICCFA Magazine Managing Editor Susan Loving at [email protected].
D
JULY 19-24, 2019 FOGELMAN EXECUTIVE CENTER MEMPHIS, TN
ear prospective students,
I am honored to serve as your ICCFA University chancellor. I was raised in the
funeral service industry, with my family owning a cemetery and funeral homes in the
Philippines, and me personally working for memorial design companies for numerous years.
I thought I had a pretty good grasp of what was going on in the profession until I was encour-
aged to attend ICCFA University back in 1992. After I attended, my career really began.
ICCFA University features eight colleges in tune with our profession today.
• 21st Century Services
• Cremation Services
• Funeral Home Management
• International Studies
• Land Management & Grounds Operations
• Leadership, Management & Administration
• J. Asher Neel College of Sales & Marketing
• Hospitality & Event Planning
The success that ICCFA University enjoys is the result of the dedication and hard work of our eight
remarkable deans and the numerous professors who have amassed a wealth of real-world
experience in their fields. They continually fine-tune their curricula throughout the year to present
you with the most relevant and current information to take back and apply as soon as you get home.
I encourage you to enroll in the 2019 session of “the U” to begin, or continue, your journey of
ICCFA University Chancellor
professional development today.
Jeff Kidwiler, CCE, CSE
Sincerely yours,
Here is a preview of some college sessions happening at the U. Find complete program
details, hotel reservation and registration information at www.iccfa.com/university
COLLEGE OF HOSPITALITY
EVENT PLANNING
Dean John Bolton, CCE, CCrE, CSE
Going into its second year, this college is designed to give students a foundation in funeral home/cemetery
hospitality and catering management. Classes will cover topics ranging from basic event planning and the
essentials of the hospitality and catering markets to interpreting financial budgets, leadership and catering team
management.
48 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
I C C FA N E W S
Please note: This college includes a one-day option for those who
COLLEGE OF wish to attend only the Certified Crematory Operator program.
MANAGEMENT funeral homes and cemeteries can face, and is also an excellent
way for managers to communicate their expectations, procedures
and policies with their staff. Surveys consistently show that
Dean Todd Van Beck, CFuE managers who themselves know how to train can keep staff
longer, have fewer human resource headaches and generally have
Too many managers consider “creativity” someone
a more productive and pleasant work environment. This session
else’s department. In funeral service, creative will explore the principles of adult learning, the fundamentals
management is the key to differentiation. You’ll learn of communicating expectations, how to establish orientation
Dr. W. Edwards Deming’s creative service management programs for new hires and the importance and benefits of a
system and its specific applications to our profession. properly designed job training program. q
STUDIES Chinese funeral rites and burial customs are determined by the
age of the deceased, the manner of his/her death, his/her status
and position in society and his/her marital status. Chinese
Dean Jim Hammond funerals will be discussed with an emphasis on how American
funeral and cemetery customs have been absorbed into burial
Globalization is making the world a much smaller place
traditions dating back thousands of years.
to live in. Are you sure that you know how to serve
families of all nationalities and religious backgrounds Jewish Funeral and Burial: Jenna Moerk
in your community? Learn about the funeral customs of Jewish tradition teaches that human beings are created in the
all major religions and population groups from around image of God. This is the foundation for all Jewish funeral and
the world. burial rituals. This class will examine those practices and the
religious traditions behind them. You will learn about funeral
customs, their origins and the practices of modern Jews. q
50 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
I C C FA N E W S
COLLEGE OF LEADERSHIP,
ADMINISTRATION MANAGEMENT
Dean Gary Freytag, CCFE
The cemetery, cremation and funeral service profession is changing, and so are the skills needed
to manage and lead effectively. You’ll receive solid, relevant, results-focused training targeted at today’s required
core competencies.
Principals of Effective Leadership: Steven Tidwell A Critical Look into the Future: Adjusting to Issues, Trends
If you have the desire and willpower, you can become an and Changes: David Nixon
effective leader. Good leaders develop through a never-ending What are the critical issues, trends and changes in our
process of self-study, education, training and experience. Learn marketplace and in our profession? Nixon will uncover and
how to develop the leader within you by exploring various facets examine them and provide the strategic ideas and adjustments
of leadership, including attitude, motivation, vision, self you need to embrace to maintain your success. We’ll examine
discipline, character and handling change. This course will threats, opportunities and specific programs to help you compete
enable you to benchmark your leadership effectiveness and help both in the short term and the long term. Learn how to build a
you develop your leadership ability. stronger, more viable business with the knowledge of these future
trends and discover programs you can implement now to prepare
A Case Study in Leadership: Gary Freytag, CCFE yourself and your business for success in the future.
This course will challenge the class to take on a leadership crisis
Dynamics of the Organization: Dr. Robert Taylor
based on real life events. Students will team up to recommend
Every business requires an organizational structure
viable solutions to the CEO while dealing with human resource,
appropriate to the nature and size of the company. Successful
legal and operational repercussions. This course will help
businesses operate according to certain organizational principles,
evaluate and benchmark your leadership effectiveness and help
and this session will cover the basic models as defined in current
you develop your leadership ability.
business education programs. q
OF SALES will learn effective methods for finding people, explaining the
opportunity our profession offers and creating an environment
MARKETING where good people want to stay and give their best.
Coaching for Success: Carlos Quezada, CCFE
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s difficult not be distracted with a
thousand different things every day. Keeping a strong focus on the
Dean Gary O’Sullivan, CCFE task at hand while developing good habits in our team members is
The principles of sales and marketing don’t change, only quite an undertaking. This session will teach you the foundations
technique and application do. Learn how to take the of coaching that will enable you to help your team develop habits
that deliver amazing results through the transformation of the
tried-and-true principles of cemetery and funeral sales
triangle between thoughts, emotions and actions. We will cover
and apply them within today’s highly mobile, multi-
the following topics:
cultural, high-tech, information-driven marketplace.
• The foundation of human behavior
You Don’t Need to Be a Superstar for Success, You Simply
Need an Effective Selling System: Gary O’Sullivan, CCFE • Coaching versus mentoring
Good sales managers focus on volume; great sales managers • The belief system and its impacts on decision-making
focus the daily activities that create the volume. In this session • The decision-making triangle of thoughts, emotions and
you will learn why selling is not voodoo and what a systematic actions
selling process can do. In this session you will learn the founda-
• The four things that block behavioral cycles
tional principles of activity and outcomes needed to make your
sales more controllable, predictable and repeatable. • The “self” concept q
52 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
I C C FA N E W S
May 8-10: Homesteaders May 14-16: Iowa Funeral May 20-21: Minnesota Directors Assn. 133rd Annual
and Drake University Directors Assn. Convention, Funeral Directors Assn. Annual Convention & Expo, Fort Worth
Certificate in Strategic Prairie Meadows Hotel & Conf. Convention, Rochester. Convention Center.
Business Management Center, Altoona. www.iafda.org www.mnfuneral.org www.tfda.com
course, Saint Louis University. May 14-16: Two Hearts May 20-21: North Carolina June 13-14: Georgia Cemetery
homesteaderslife.com/drake Pet Loss Center Grief Funeral Directors Assn. Annual Assn. Convention, Clarence
May 8-10: South Dakota Companioning Certification Convention, Pinehurst. Brown Conf. Center, Carters
Funeral Directors Assn. Class, Dallas, Texas. www.ncfda.org ville. www.gacemeteries.com
Convention, Deadwood. twoheartspetlosscenter.com May 28: ICCFA Crematory June 16-18: Alabama Funeral
www.sdfda.org. May 16-21: Southern Ceme Operator Training, Mid-America Directors Assn. 133rd Annual
May 14: Batesville Casket tery, Cremation and Funeral College of Funeral Service, Convention, Grand
webinar, “Five levels of Assn. Convention & Sales Jeffersonville, Indiana. Hotel-Marriott Resort Golf Club
leadership: Proven steps School, San Antonio Marriott www.iccfa.com & Spa, Point Clear, Alabama.
to maximize your potential.” Rivercenter. www.sccfa.info. June 2-5: Louisiana [email protected];
www.Batesville.com/Webinars May 19-21: Texas Cemeteries and Mississippi Funeral [email protected]
May 14-15: Passare free Assn. Annual Convention, San Directors Assns. Joint Annual June 18-20: Dr. Alan Wolfelt’s
Advanced User Training Antonio Marriott River Center. Convention, Windsor Court training session for funeral
Workshop, Cincinnati, Ohio. www.txca.us Hotel, New Orleans, Louisiana. directors, “Opening Your
www.passare.com/workshop/ May 20: 25th Annual National www.lfdaweb.org Community’s Eyes to WHY We
May 14-16: Asia Funeral & Museum of Funeral History June 2-5: Pennsylvania Need Funerals,” Ford Collins,
Cremation Expo & Conf., Charity Golf Classic, Kingwood Funeral Directors Assn. Annual Colorado.
Hong Kong. Country Club, Kingwood, Convention, Mount Pocono. www.centerforloss.com
www.asiafuneralexpo.com Texas. www.nmfh.org www.pfda.org June 20: Southern Monument
June 2-5: Tennessee Funeral Builders Assn. Convention &
Directors Assn. Annual Conven Trade Show, Emerald Beach
54 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”
smart phone scan Property in photo is Fairview Cemetery, Westfield, NJ, Merendino client since 2005