Dialogue for The Barmaid

This page contains dialogue related to The Barmaid. The content below is copied verbatim from RuneScape and thus copyrighted by Jagex.

This transcript involves dialogue with The Barmaid and the player.

Standard dialogue

• The Barmaid: Hello there, love. Alright?
• Select an option:
  • How are things going, Surula?
    • The Barmaid: Oh, I can't complain, Portmaster. The adventurers and captains who turn up here every day keep my busy. Mind you, John was here last night. Drunk of course. Shouting something about sailing one of the ships eastwards. Bless him. I'm glad you're here. We've needed someone to sort this place out for a long time. For the past few years its felt like we've been trapped in cobwebs and shadows. With you here, it feels light again.
    • (Shows the previous options.)
  • Could I ask a personal question?
    • The Barmaid: You want to know about the tentacles, right?
    • Player: Er - yes.
    • The Barmaid: Oh, dont blush, little octopus. You see there's an afflication in the east, no one knows the cause of it, but some of us are born with gills, tentacles, even fins. One poor man had flippers; meant he couldn't wear shoes. You'd reckon looking like this we'd have some special powers, like that siren sulking around the docks, but you'd be wrong. I can swim better than most, sure, but that's about it. Of course, there's many folks who are distrustful of us. They call us sea orphans, which says a lot. And some are more than just distrustful. The Purists in the Scythe region hate us with a real passion. They spread lies about us, beat us up, kill us when they get the chance, scare mothers into drowning us at birth. No one does much about them. Cruel folks, them Purists. Ah...sorry, love. You don't want to hear me prattle on.
    • (Shows the previous options.)
  • Got any gossip?
    • (If it's not Thursday or A Barmaid's Tip has already been sent out:)
      • The Barmaid: There's nothing doing the rounds at the moment, love, but I'll keep my tentacles to the ground.
      • Speak to the barmaid on Thursday for new gossip.
      • Speak to the barmaid on Thursday for new gossip.
    • (If it's Thursday:)
      • (Without having received A Barmaid's Tip:)
        • The Barmaid: Got word of a special little something your crews might find appealing, if you're up for it.
        • Replace your Third Listed Mission with the Barmaid's Tip
          • Yes.
            • The Barmaid: Oh, you're gonna love this!
            • Voyages interface opens with the third listed mission replaced with A Barmaid's Tip.
          • No.
            • (Shows the previous options.)
      • (Having received A Barmaid's Tip but not yet sent it out:)
        • The Barmaid: Hope that tip worked out well for you, my love.
  • Any chance of a beer?
    • (If player has at least 1 coin in their inventory or money pouch)
      • One coin has been removed from your money pouch.
      • The Barmaid: There you go, my little barnacle, nice and frothy.
      • You buy a poorly poured beer, missing most of its head.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • (If player has no coins)
      • The Barmaid: Poor little octopus. You don't have even the coin to buy a beer. Times must be tough around here.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
  • I better be going. Things to do.
    • The Barmaid: You take care, now.
    • (Dialogue ends.)

Last Orders random event

• (See the transcript for Player-owned_port/Random_events § Last_Orders.)