Dialogue for The Occultist

This page contains dialogue related to The Occultist. The content below is copied verbatim from RuneScape and thus copyrighted by Jagex.

In port

• The Occultist: Ecstatic to see you again, darling.
  • Player: How are things?
    • Before The Brain:
      • The Occultist: Oh, I'm just thinking about death, about you and about that delicious smell of onion soup that hangs about this place.
    • After The Brain:
      • The Occultist: Well, I'm dreadfully pleased that we got the brain, of course. We should start searching for the body; soon, when I can muster up the energy.
    • After The Body:
      • The Occultist: Could you imagine a simple life? A life where one isn't chased by narwhals while attempting rituals. Sounds dreadfully dull, doesn't it?
    • After The Blood:
      • The Occultist: Well I simply can't wait for my date with Oroshu, the old perv. I've sent him a letter, so now we just have to wait.
    • After A Date with Oroshu:
      • The Occultist: I am a little anxious. Whilst I'm desperate to perform the ritual, it will change everything... I'll let you know as soon as it's done.
    • After The Loophole:
      • The Occultist: You've certainly given me a new lease of life, unless Quin rears her pretty little head again.
    • After Meet the Partner - Again
      • The Occultist: I hoped Quin would redeem herself; we were very close once. I mean before she turned all crazy and everything.
      • The Occultist: I'm glad we were the ones to do it, the ones to kill her. With a deaf whale of all things. It's your unpredictability that I've come to love.
    • After In Memory of Kirau
      • The Occultist: I'm so glad that assassin girl, Ling, made peace with Kirau's family.
    • After Assault on Paradise
      • The Occultist: Dreadfully happy! Now that Quin is dead, I truly am free. I'll miss her, of course, but that's a small price for an eternity of bliss.
  • Player: I wonder if you could help me.
    • The Occultist: I am yours for eternity.
  • Player: Do you prefer to work alone?
    • Without the Missionary unlocked:
      • The Occultist:: I'm always eager to work closely with others. But I'd need someone with knowledge of old magic for us to come together as one.
    • With the Missionary unlocked and not present:
      • The Occultist: Well - I've clapped eyes on a ravishing hunk of a cleric; a missionary, I believe. He's often here, nursing a pint and smouldering away in the corner.
      • The Occultist: I don't know much about your gods and their magic, but with our knowledge pooled, Tomlin and I would be unstoppable.
      • If both the Missionary and Occultist are in port at the same time, additional joint voyages will be made available.
    • With the Missionary unlocked and in port:
      • The Occultist:: I'd be delighted to work with Tomlin. Having a big gruff man of god around would certainly liven things up.
      • The Missionary:: Hrmph. Very well - we shall work together on this.
      • The Missionary:: As long as she keeps her HANDS to herself!
      • (The Voyage List screen opens.)
  • Player: How's the life of the occultist?
    • The Occultist: A blood ritual here. Fighting demons there. Oh, it can be SO dreary.
    • The Occultist: But don't play coy, I've heard you're no strange to the arcane arts yourself. Your knowledge of runes is second to none.
  • [View Previous Cutscenes]
    • Meet the Occultist _{Only if she was not your first adventurer.}
    • The Brain
    • The Body
    • The Blood
    • More
      • A Date with Oroshu
      • The Loophole
      • Meet the partner - Again
      • In Memory of Kirau
      • Assault on Paradise

Story Voyages

Meet the Occultist

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• The Occultist: Filthy, unimaginative peasants. I was the one who had to give them the ideas. They certainly weren't going to produce any on their own. 'Try that splendidly sharp-looking axe over there.', 'Would you be so good as to hang me?', 'Just drop a great big boulder on me!' All a waste of time, of course, but a girl has to try.
• Player: You wanted them to torture you?
• The Occultist: No, I didn't want them to torture me. I wanted them to KILL me. And they did a rather poor job of it. Anyway, I must rest. Perhaps we could meet later to discuss my death? It would rather make my day.
• Congratulations - you have unlocked the Occultist adventurer, Zu Zu! The Occultist now has a chance to visit your port daily, bringing voyage opportunities.

The Brain

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Beginning:

• The Occultist: It is a delight and a pleasure to be in your presence. I am Zu Zu. Delirious to meet you again. Now, I have a rather unique proposition: I want to die. While that might seem swiftly resolved, I am also immortal.
• Player: Immortal? Wouldn't you want to enjoy your immortality, rather than die?
• The Occultist: Oh, immortality has its advantages, but it makes one something of a target. Tyrants want immortality for themselves, soothsayers - of all people - want to silence you permanently. Common, everyday problems, I'm sure you'll find. They're all following me, after my gift. Trouble is, I'm not the kind of lady to freely dish out immortality, certainly not to evil tyrants. As the saying goes, I'd rather die.
• Player: There must be other solutions. Why not stop them before they get to you?
• The Occultist: I'm handy enough with a concealed knife, but killing them all would take several lifetimes, no pun intended.
• Player: Isn't there a ritual; a spell that could remove your powers?
• The Occultist: Well, aren't you a clever puppy? Yes, I suppose there might be. Not that it's ever been tried on someone as powerful as me, of course. But there's no harm in trying. I have nothing better to do, since death is off the cards. The ritual requires three things: the brain, the body and the blood. The brain is first. We'll find it at the centre of a living island, guarded by floating eyes. The eyes act as the brain's sensory system, I believe. Darling, would you help me carve a little brain? It was your idea, after all. And I would repay you handsomely.

End:

• The Occultist: Brain matter is so cloying. Remind me to pack a purse and tissues next time we steal some brain. Still, we were wondrously successful. On to the body! It should be easier to get hold of than the brain, but life is rarely so well ordered. For now, we should rest. I'll return later with another delicious affair for us both.

The Body

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Beginning:

• The Occultist: Darling - you look a delicious treat, as usual. I just want to pick you up, dip you in honey and nibble on you. But first, shall we continue our travails? The second element of the ritual is the body. We'll find it at the Keening Reef, where sea monsters go to die. As their spirit leaves them, they fall to the bottom of the sea and form the reef. Smaller fish then eat from the reef. It's the great circle of life, as tiresome ecologists will no doubt tell you. Anyway, we'll be wanting to steal a portion of it. It shouldn't be much of a trial - the sea monsters will be on their last legs, tentacles and assorted other appendages.

End:

• Player: I thought you said the voyage would be easy! There was a warrior riding an albino narwhal!
• The Occultist: Oh, it sounds more marvellous than it is. The warrior's name is Discord. He's the official bodyguard of Quin, my previous employer. Quin is a seasinger - the most powerful the Eastern Lands has ever seen, and she is fascinated by eternal life. She wants to live forever, as is the wont[sic] of most tyrants, I suppose. I was the one put in charge of that pet project. She gave me everything I needed to research eternal life. Sacrificial subjects, old tomes, oiled man-slaves. But Quin wasn't always obsessed with immortality. That was the result of an assassination attempt. And she hasn't given up on the idea since I ran away: hence the bodyguard and albino narwhal following us. Needless to say, we should probably avoid Quin and Discord in the future. They've been yapping like dogs at my back for some time now, and they won't let up. Still, I'm tired. What do you say I have a nap, and we reconvene later to natter about the blood?

The Blood

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Beginning:

• The Occultist: So, next on my rather unappetising shopping list is the blood. May I be honest and straightforward with you? This is the part of the ritual that I have been looking forward to least. It's not that it's difficult or harrowing. Oh no, it'll be the quickest of the tasks. The problem is sentimental, I'm afraid. The blood comes from corpse moss, which grows on the graves of sacrificed creatures. It means travelling to Aloft Dagger. I grew up there, sweetie. It brings back...memories. The soothsayers taught me within its walls, but my abilities were prodigious. They didn't know how to deal with me, and my powers soon outstripped theirs. They took exception to that, as many weaker individuals do. They kept me isolated and fed me very little. I was given mayflies and mosquitoes to sacrifice, but nothing bigger. Quin, the seasinger, got wind of me, and demanded my freedom. She took me into her employ, calling me her 'Occultist'. She gave me the remit to sacrifice anything: sea monsters, demons, even humans. There hadn't been an occultist in the Eastern Lands for decades. We were once numerous, until the khans got paranoid that the occultists might usurp them. So, the khans gathered their tridents and hunted them down. And, while the soothsayers will sacrifice a goat, chicken or fish, they wouldn't dare stoop to killing talking, thinking creatures. That's the work of those very unsavoury occultists. Alas, the soothsayers now want to put me to death. That won't do them much good, of course, but I'm sure they'll find ways to inconvenience me. Anyway, darling, enough of the digression. The blood. Shall we?

End:

• Player: What happened?
• The Occultist: It was Oroshu, the old pervert. He took the blood, body and brain from me and demanded that I travel to his island, Falling Blossom.
• Player: Who is Oroshu? And what does he want from you?
• The Occultist: He's a khan, darling, and he wants the fulfilment of an old promise. He wants me to marry him.
• Player: Why did you agree to that?
• The Occultist: I was desperate at the time! I was working for Quin, just after she had turned paranoid and genocidal - you know, when she was demanding the secret of eternal life. So I found eternal life, more by accident than anything else. I sacrificed a family of sea monsters and twisted their intestines about each other in a spiral. I focused the ritual on myself and - miracle of miracles - nothing could damage me. I even threw myself off a roof to test it. As I fell from the tower, I had an epiphany. No one should get these powers. Who would be able to stop a person like that? Who would be able to stop Quin? So, I picked myself up, seduced Oroshu - who was visiting Quin - and made him promise to get me out in exchange for marriage. As he smuggled me out on his leisure barge, I kept a pin in my corset, ready to pick a lock and escape. The swollen pig. He's got two hundred wives already! I'd hoped he'd forget me. But, then again, who can forget a woman like me? Anyway, it seems that Oroshu and I have a little date. I'll powder my nose, sharpen my concealed knife, and I'll meet with you later, sweetie.

A Date with Oroshu

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Beginning:

• The Occultist: Haha, proud, stupid Oroshu!
• Player: What has happened?
• The Occultist: I sent Oroshu a letter, promising a wedding today, but only if he made it a big occasion. I'd expect nothing less, I said: a parade in the streets, a festival in my name. And I wanted him to invite all the Khans and seasingers.
• Player: ALL of the seasingers?
• The Occultist: Yes! The fool, wallowing in his hubris, has sent an invite to Quin! Even if she doesn't attend, Quin will send lackeys to collect me, and the soothsayers will no doubt send forces. It has all the ingredients of a sumptuous farce, with me as the pretty, shining cherry on top! They whip themselves into a frenzy, and you take advantage of the chaos. Delicious! Your men steal in to recover the body, brain and blood - he's planning them as wedding gifts, darling - and then you can save your damsel. I'll be sure to swoon sufficiently. Oh, it is lovely to be fought over!

End:

• The Occultist: What a sight! So many proud men, bickering over who has me. Now I know how the needy princesses from your fairy tales feel. Anyway, darling, I have a ritual to complete. Next time you see me, I should be eminently killable. If you're lucky, I might even decide to stay alive and hang around for a while...

The Loophole

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Beginning:

• The Occultist: The ritual was a damp squib, darling.
• Player: What happened?
• The Occultist: Nothing happened, and that was very much the problem. The ritual wasn't strong enough. I shouldn't be surprised - it was only ever designed to remove the power from a soothsayer. Any soothsayer that got out of line, well, they got the ritual. There was talk of giving it to me at one point. Why keep me, when you can neutralise me? But I tried the ritual on myself, in my chamber. It failed. It simply wasn't potent enough to take my powers. And so I must admit something, darling. I'm not actually standing here with you. I'm leagues away, at a place called the Hole in the World. What you see in front of you is a projection - a simple spell, really.
• Player: Wait, you're not really here? What are you up to, Zu Zu?
• The Occultist: I left on a ship several hours ago. Don't worry, I paid for my own - I wouldn't want to endanger one of your vessels. I've come to the Hole in the World, so that I can throw myself into it. It's a little over-dramatic, I know, but it answers the problem, don't you think? So, here it is. Goodbye, darling, it's been an absolute pleasure.
• Player: No! Wait! I'm sending a boat to get you! Promise me you'll wait!
• The Occultist: I wish I could wait, but this is the only solution. Oh, typical. It seems I have company. Must go - Quin's bodyguard, Discord, is here, and I don't think he's a fan of the Hole in the World idea. Get away from me, Discord!

End:

• The Occultist: Gah! Attempt to throw yourself into an eternal pit, and everyone tries to save you. It's endearing but ever-so-frustrating.
• Player: I couldn't let you do that to yourself. You see, I have a plan.
• The Occultist: Your plan was a lovely diversion, my dear, but it failed.
• Player: Not that plan - Quin is the only one still after you. Oroshu is dead, the soothsayers are scattered and disorganised. There's only one person left who wants to capture you.
• The Occultist: We have thinned their ranks a little, haven't we? You're most persuasive - as convincing as a siren, but less blue and obsessed with your hair. Fair enough. We stay vigilant for the moment. I warn you, though: at the slightest hint of incarceration, I am throwing myself down the deepest well I can find.
• Player: Agreed.
• The Occultist: Good. Now, I'm going for a well-deserved bath. With that image I leave you, and hopefully we can talk more in the future. And thank you. It's the first time I've uttered those words. You should be proud.

Joint Story Voyages

Main article: Transcript:Quin

Meet the Partner - Again

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Before Voyage

• The Occultist: Whatever this is, could we get it over with quickly? My bath's getting cold.
• The Whaler: I'd warm it, lady! Nothing gets a bath hotter than old Hubbub!
• The Assassin: Ugh. It's like watching your parents flirt.
• The Partner: Thank you for hearing me out. I know you're all busy people. You see, I've been piecing a puzzle together, ever since you three joined the port. I hope you don't mind, but I've been listening to your conversations, and filling the gaps by reading your journals.
• The Whaler: Wait, what?
• The Partner: And your backstories all overlap. Hubbub, you paid the Death Lotus to kill Quin, am I right?
• The Whaler: Yes, but look - can we go back to the bit where you read our journals?
• The Partner: Ling, you were sent by the Death Lotus to kill Quin, am I correct?
• The Assassin: I see where you're going with this. Yes, you are correct.
• The Partner: And Zu Zu, were you the occultist who foiled that assassination attempt?
• The Occultist: Yes, yes, very good old man.
• The Partner: You ALL have an enemy in Quin, and your destinies have become intertwined, like a spiderweb. I haven't been a man of faith for some time, but there's a higher power at play here. Whatever the flavour of your faith - Saradomin, the Fates, flying sea gods - someone is telling you something. I think they're telling you to kill Quin. With that in mind, I have a plan. It's not easy, but it'll get us through the sea monsters, assassins and traps that Quin has surrounded herself with.
• Player: I've looked at John Strum's plan, and it's a good one. Are you in for killing Quin?
• The Occultist: Kill the one person who's still hunting me? Sure, I'm in.
• The Assassin: After what Quin did to Kirau, my informer? Of course I'm in.
• The Whaler: A chance to avenge my people? Yes, I'm in.
• The Partner: I'm glad you said that, Hubbub, because the first part of the plan is to convince Shuma to join us. What do you think?
• The Whaler: That old deaf whale? She'd give her right fin to kill Quin.

After Voyage

• The Whaler: She didn't take much convincing! She was determined to leave immediately, but I think I swayed her. The old lady doesn't have much in the way of patience. One other thing. We should keep Zu Zu away from Shuma. I don't want anyone to let slip that Zu Zu sacrificed Shuma's family. That would be bad.
• Player: Deal. So, we have one whale; onto the second part of John Strum's plan.

In Memory of Kirau

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Before Voyage

• The Whaler: We've got one grumpy whale! She's raring to go. Who's next?
• The Occultist: I do hope it's me. Get picked last, and you're probably doing something terrible.
• The Partner: Ling. How well do you know Kirau's crew?
• The Assassin: I haven't talked to Kirau's crew since I...killed Kirau. I'm not sure they'd want to see me.
• The Partner: Kirau betrayed you, Ling. you did what you had to do, and I'm not the only one who thinks that. Kirau's pirates have been killing Quin's sea monsters whenever they get a chance. They don't blame you; they blame Quin. They've been doing all they can to keep Quin isolated on her island home: Paradise.
• The Assassin: But the pirates must know that I killed Kirau! They would slit my throat before I could explain myself. And they'd have every right.
• Player: We don't think so, Ling. They're focusing all their efforts on Quin. Which is exactly why we need them. It's also why you're the only one to get them for us.
• The Whaler: Legless sea spiders! You can't ask a girl to do that!
• The Occultist: Poor darling. Couldn't one of us go? You'd be surprised what I can achieve with a low neckline.
• The Partner: There's only one way to get a pirate's help without him turning on you. You convince him that he's been wronged. Ling is the only one who can do that.
• The Assassin: I will. I should have explained myself at the time. I disrespected his family by running away.

After Voyage

• The Assassin: I can't believe it! If they had asked me to fall on my sword, I would have. But they forgave me.
• Player: They know the real enemy, Ling.
• The Assassin: I owe them so much. You should know, I'm going to be at the front, fighting with them.
• Player: No one could deny you that, Ling.
• The Assassin: Good. I thought I was going to have to threaten you. It would have been a shame to put a knife to your throat.

Assault on Paradise

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Before Voyage

• The Assassin: Kirau's pirates are armed and they've had a few drinks. That's my way of saying they're ready, by the way.
• The Whaler: And the ships are tied to Shuma's tail. She's uncomfortable, but she knows how to pull them along without sinking them. Took a few tries to get it right, though.
• The Occultist: I don't suppose I could learn what my part in all this is?
• The Partner: You all know the first stage of the plan. Shuma pulls the ship and three pirate galleons behind her. She acts as a giant battering ram, breaking through the ranks of sea monsters that surround Quin's island. Shuma turns before she reaches land and the Whaler disconnects the ships.
• The Whaler: Then Shuma and I get to play whack-a-monster!
• The Partner: The ships run aground at the base of the palace, destroying the assassin shacks.
• The Assassin: And the pirates fight the assassins in broad daylight, without any walls to hide behind. Pirates versus assassins. Has a certain ring to it.
• The Partner: Then to the part you don't know. In the melee, Zu Zu, you make your way up to the palace.
• The Occultist: I understand your plan now darling! You're taking advantage of my knowledge, and my inability to be harmed by traps! Delightful. Quin's immortal bodyguard is the one who gets to kill her. There's a whiff of irony to it. It tickles the tastebuds.
• The Partner: There's only one surprise left. I must demand that I come with you.
• Player: John, this isn't a mission for a seventy-year-old desk clerk...
• The Partner: I'm coming, and I'll hear no more of it. Quin took someone from me too, a long time ago. It's not a story I want to divulge. Let's just say it's a sad story, and we all agree to let me join the melee.
• The Assassin: I'd be happy to have you in the battle, John Strum.
• Player: If it's something you have to do, I can't stop you. It looks like we have a crew!

After Voyage

• The Whaler: Dizzy whirlwind spirits! We did it! Quin's dead, Quin's dead! I could jig!
• The Occultist: Good grief, darling. Could you not?
• The Assassin: Before we get too deep into celebration, a few things should be mentioned.
• The Occultist: Don't tell me that Quin lives! I cut out her heart and put it on a stick!
• The Assassin: No, no, she's very much dead. I wanted to mention that we lost some friends today. The pirates returned after escorting Shuma back to the Glitterhalls. Shuma passed away on the journey. She was old, and her wounds weakened her...
• The Whaler: Shuma! You big lug, why didn't you tell me you were dying? Gah, why don't women ever talk to me?
• The Assassin: And John Strum died on the field.
• The Occultist: It's no surprise; he wanted to die. We were right to let him choose how that happened.
• Player: We'll remember them all. But we shouldn't forget our achievement; Quin's terrorised everyone...
• The Whaler: She killed my people.
• The Assassin: She killed my friends.
• The Occultist: She made me immortal. Oh, and made me kill people.
• Player: And, on a personal note, I've enjoyed working with you.
• The Whaler: And I you. Come see me later when it's less crowded. I've got that hug I promised you.
• The Assassin: It's been a spectacle. At some point I might set up a rival assassin guild. First, there are a few things about management that I could learn from you.
• The Occultist: Oh, we're doing the 'what we're up to next' thing? Well, there are a few eligible bachelors here in the west. As long as I can fit some dinner dates into the schedule, feel free to keep sending me on missions.
• The Whaler: Yes, you can call on us whenever you need us. I think we've all grown a little attached to this place.

During random events

Last Orders

• The Occultist: Another drink? How delightful, but I mustn't. I simply shouldn't.

A Simple Favour

• The Occultist: Oh, get away from me, you repulsive little man.